Marry Me for Christmas (2013) - full transcript

- Wow, this guy is good!

- Uh-huh.

- Where'd you find him?

- Been usin' him for years.

- Hey, listen, can you forward me the rest

of those images from the
presentation, please?

I need to look at 'em.
- Check your pad.

- Very nice!

Brilliant!
- I thought you'd like that.

- My god, where do you
come up with this stuff?

- You know, girl, I'm like Mike!



- Which Mike?

- Which one?
- Yeah.

- All of 'em.

Jordan, Jackson, Tyson.

- Okay, all right, okay.

- Michael Buffer.

- Okay. Thank you.
- "Let's get r--"

- No, listen.

It's gettin', no, late!

Shh, I have neighbors!

- You don't wanna hear it?
- Do you know what time it is?

- Your neighbors wanna hear me.

- Stay with me, we're almost there.

Here's what I want you to do.



If you could just add that
value proposition piece back in,

and then, instead of the pie
chart, a little bar graph--

- You want the bar graph.

- And we're good to go.
- Yes, got you.

I got you.
- Thank you.

Can you imagine little
old Jewel Advertising,

the agency of record for Clarion Candy?

- Yes, I can.

Yeah, that's why you brought me in, right?

- Yeah.

- And you know what that means.

- What?

- It means little Jewel is
about to become big Jewel.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- That's hot.

- Nervous?

- No, never.

Dang it!

Why is Dana blowing me up right now?

Oh, hi!

Hi Dana.

- Hi sweetie!

You wanna hear some really exciting news?

- No, no, no.

Absolutely not.

- Well, if you're busy.

- Not you.

I want glasses and two pitchers.

Sorry.
- Oh my God, okay.

So, I cannot believe you just did that.

Jeez!

- Well, I said I was sorry.

- Not you.

Ma, can you put this in the cabinet?

Thank you.

Hang on.

- Just...

I'll be back in two seconds, okay?

- So, where were we?

- Yeah, well, you know, I'm just preparing

for this huge presentation right now.

- I'm leaving the country.

Marci, did you hear me?
- Did you just say you're--

- I'm leaving the country.

Frankie and I are going
to Haiti for five years

to do some missionary
work, and we're leaving

right after Christmas.

- Wow.

That's great.

- It's wonderful.

Hey baby!

It's wonderful.

But I don't know how often that
we're gonna be getting home,

so I really wanna see you.

Please tell me you're coming
home for Christmas this year.

- Dana, you know I love you,
but every time I come home--

- Yeah, I know.

Third degree.

But Marci, I haven't seen you in years!

- Why don't you come to New York?

- Marci!

- You know, I really
wish I could, but I just,

I'm swamped right now.

I have so much work to do.

You understand, right, Dana?

- Okay, I understand.

And you sound busy, so
I'm gonna just let you go.

Plus they're messing up the kitchen,

and you know how I like things organized.

So I'm gonna go.

- Dana.

- It's okay.

It's okay.

Good luck on your project.

And I'll talk to you later.

- Dana.

Dana.

- And here she is now.

- Hello, hello.

How you doing?

- Yes!

We did it, boss.

We did it.

Congratulations.

- No, no, Adam, you did it.

I was drowning in there.

- Hey, look.

You know what I always say.

Promise 'em anything, work
out the details later.

What's up?

- Remember how I said I hated going home?

- For Christmas?
- Yeah.

Yeah.

- Well, my favorite cousin--

- Dana?

- Yes, Dana is leaving the
country the day after Christmas.

She really wants me to come home.

- Wow, bummer.

What'd you tell her?

- Well, I had to tell her I couldn't.

I have way too much work to do.

- That's true.

That's true.

- Yeah, but, you know, she
was just so disappointed.

She's always been there for me.

I remember one time, when
we were in the third grade,

she got all up in Jimmy Strayhorn's face

because he put chocolate
pudding in my hair.

- No he didn't!

- Yes, he did.

And then when we were in the 10th grade,

we formed this two-woman glee club,

'cause neither one of us
could sing well enough,

allegedly, to be in the real glee club.

- Really?

Allegedly?

I'm sure you're talented.

- And then after we graduated college,

she came to visit me every
single year on my birthday,

and we would have these slumber parties.

Yeah.

- But then all that stopped when--

- When you got too busy.

- Got too busy.

- Yep, well, such is life.

Well, what I mean by that is
she sounds really special,

and if it were me, I would drop everything

and try to see her before
she left the county.

I'm just saying.

- You know what?

You are absolutely right.

I'm going home for Christmas.

I'm going home for Christmas.

- Yup.

And you already promised Dana,

so there's no turning back now.

- Hey, maybe she hasn't told anyone yet.

- Good luck with that.

- Aw, great!

- Is that your mom?

- No, you don't understand.

I cannot go home for Christmas.

I have too much work to do!

- Well, you're just gonna have
to do it before you leave.

- That's not possible!

But I can't go back on the
promise I made my cousin Dana.

She'll never forgive me.

- Look.

Go home, see your cousin, I'll
take care of everything here.

I'm not going anywhere anyway.

- Oh, no way, I cannot
put all this work on you.

- It's fine.

I'm not going anywhere for the holidays.

- Yeah, I know, I know.

Oh, I got it.

I got it.

Come with me.

Come with me!

- Whoa!

- Yes.

Yes. We'll get all our
work done down there,

and you can fly back home
to Chicago from Atlanta.

My treat.

- Go on.

- I will--

- Double?

- Double your Christmas bonus.

- And?

- And what?

You like peach cobbler?

- I love peach cobbler.

- Okay, the Chandler women
bake a mean peach cobbler.

That's all I got.

- Deal.

ATL, here we come.

- Okay.

I don't guess you're
gonna help with the bags?

Can you grab those?

Do you mind?

Mom!

- Hi honey.

- What's goin' on?

- So good to see you!

Oh.

Good to see your face.

- You look beautiful, as ever!

- Oh, baby, it's so good--

- Mom, what is going on with you?

What is this?

0 What?

I dropped a little bit of weight.

You know, a few problems,
gettin' older, you know.

Marci?

Who's--

- Oh, Mom, I hope you
don't mind, I brought Adam.

Adam is my new--

- Oh, I think I know who he is.

How do you do?

Welcome to the Chandlers'!

- Thank you for having me!

- Girl, why didn't you tell me

you had a new man in your life?

No.

Mom, no, no, no.

- Yes, you have no idea.

This is gonna be a wonderful Christmas.

Marci?

- We can talk about Adam later.

You hungry?

- Yes.

- Well, come on, then!

You know, your Uncle
Donald's waitin' to see you.

Your aunts are all here.

Marci?

- Seriously, no pressure!

- No pressure.

No, but she thinks I'm
your boyfriend, Marci.

I feel like you kinda had
this whole thing planned out.

See, I knew this was a bad idea.

- Adam.

Adam.

Calm down, okay?

I will straighten this whole mess out.

We can just get back to work, okay?

- Really?

- Absolutely.

- Fine, you straighten it out.

- I will.

- It's a lot to take in.

I mean, if I knew you
were hiring a boyfriend,

I would've charged you double.

- Oh, I don't need to hire a boyfriend.

- Need to hire somebody!

♪ Da, da, da-da, da-da ♪

- Okay, okay, ladies and gentleman.

I just want to say welcome.

Welcome to the Chandler
family holiday season kickoff.

- Are there any men in your family?

- Yes, but they are all out on the great

Christmas tree hunt.

Don't ask.

- Now, as you know, we
Chandler women, what?

We love Christmas!

- We spend about six months talking about

what we're gonna do for the
holiday, right, Elizabeth?

Another six months about
what we should have done.

- And who shouldn't have gotten gifts.

- Marci?
- Hmm?

- When are you gonna tell them?

- This holiday season, have been blessed

with such a special Christmas gift.

My beautiful daughter Marci has come home.

- Mmm, for the first time in four years.

- We know, Auntie.

- Elizabeth.

And she has brought her
handsome beau, Adam, with her.

- Next thing we know, Adam
will be putting a ring on it!

- Oh.

- Oh, my goodness, Marci!

- Okay, that's a lot, that's a bit much.

- Now, is it that serious?

I mean, could there be wedding bells?

A marriage?

I mean, honey, it's about time.

At your age, I was already
on my second husband.

- I think Marci would
make a beautiful bride.

- So do I.

And a pretty decent mother, I might add,

but not as good as my baby girl, Dana.

But decent.

- I'll tell you, Stephanie,
I have to be honest with you.

At the rate Marci was
going, we thought you were

never, ever, ever gonna be a grandmother.

Oh.

- Now, wouldn't that have been a hoot?

- Huh?

- That child's been plannin'
on bein' a grandmama

ever since she became a mama.

- So what say you, Adam?

Are you gonna make an
honest woman out of Marci?

- Okay, you guys--

- Or just keep living in sin?

- Really?

- Oh, I think she's pretty honest.

- So how long have you guys been dating?

- You got any kids, man?

- That's enough.

- Okay, now would this
be your first marriage?

- You guys are making him feel--

- Okay, okay, okay.

Enough, enough.

We don't wanna run the man
away, don't wanna scare him.

- Thank you!

- But Marci, could I be looking
at my future son-in-law?

- Mom!

- Well, I was just asking.

- I need an answer from you.

I mean, are they gonna get married?

- All right, I'm done.

- What do you mean, you're done?

- That's it, you got, because listen--

- Speak up, boy.

Are you gonna marry this woman or not?

- I wanna see my grandbabies before I die.

What do you mean, you're done?

That's it, because
listen, we just got here.

What's your plan?

Don't you think you should marry her?

What is his credit score?

What's your credit score?

Are you gonna marry this woman?

- Yes!

- Oh, cheers!

Cheers!

See?

Yes!

I knew it, it was on
the tip of his tongue!

So when?

- Spring?

- Next year.

- Spring!
- Great.

- Yes.

And the colors.

I think the colors should
be cream and crimson.

- I don't know about that.

- Aqua and yellow.

- Man.

I know what you were trying
to do, Adam, and I really,

I do appreciate it, but, you know, it's,

oh, hey, look at this.

Look, look.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

- Nice.
- Mm-hmm.

- You know, we can just
play it off for now.

I mean, we're only gonna
be here a few days.

We'll be in New York.

We can have a nasty breakup, huh?

Problem solved.

I mean, till next Christmas.

- Right.

I mean, I guess, but...

Hey Mom.

- Hi honey.

Hey Adam.

- Hey.

I'm gonna let you two have your time.

- Okay, okay.

- See you soon?

- Okay.
- Okay.

- All right.

Good night.

- Good night.

I like him.

- Yeah, he's a good guy, Mom.

He's nice.

- You know, being out here
brings back such memories.

I remember when you used to
run out here as a little girl,

sit in that very rocking
chair when you thought

your little world was comin' to an end.

- Yeah, and you'd come right
on out after me and say,

"Get your butt back in the house, missy,

"and do your homework, or it's gonna end

"a lot sooner than you think."

- Stop exaggerating.

Marci, did you bring work with you?

- No, no.

Come on, heavens no, Mom,
who brings work to Christmas?

I'm looking at wedding invitations.

Well, let me see, honey!

- No need to, we got a year!

- You're right.

It's so exciting, honey!

You know, it would've been nice if Adam

could've gone with the guys.

He needs to get to know his
future in-laws, you know.

- Yeah, about Adam, Mom.

Mom?

- Hmm?
- Are you okay?

- I'm fine.

I'm okay.

- What is going on?

What is this Band-Aid?

- Honey, routine blood work, I'm fine.

I wanna talk about you and, don't mind me.

I wanna talk about you and Adam.

I am so proud of you, baby.

Oh my god.

And how you took your time,
how you built your business.

Sweetheart, you waited for the right man

to come into your life.

- Yeah, Mom, I--

- I know I've been pushy at times.

But I want the best for you, I love you.

And I want you to
experience that love and joy

that I shared with your
father, God rest his soul.

You know what?

- Hmm?

- Your happiness is all
the medicine mother needs.

I love you, come here.

Come here, pumpkin.
- I love you, too, Mom.

- Love you.

- Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Not even married yet and you're already

sneakin' around, you rascal.

- Hey, Aunt Myra.

I thought everyone left.

- Oh, no.

This time of year, we're all here 24/7.

Sisters are upstairs and the boys went

Christmas tree hunting.

- Still?
- Mm-hmm.

- How long does it take to go to Walmart

and get a Christmas tree?

- Wow.

You don't know, do you?

I guess Marci hasn't told you about

the great Christmas tree hunt.

- She started.

- We Chandler women, we don't
do fake Christmas trees.

Ain't nothin' like the real thing, baby.

10-footers, fresh from the tree farm.

- 10-foot tree?
- Mm-hmm.

You know, Adam, we're all
very happy for you and Marci.

- Oh yeah?

I hadn't noticed.

- Mom's been waiting for
this for a long time.

And actually the whole family's been.

See, gettin' married and havin' babies,

that's always been a big deal to us.

You know, some families, it's all about

maybe money, education, or sports.

But for us, it's family tradition.

- I never had a big family.

It's always been just me and my mom.

Well, honey, you're about
to have a slew of uncles

and aunts and cousins, now
that you and Miss Marci

are gonna get hitched.

And you know, you couldn't be marrying

into a better family
than the Chandler family.

And with Marci having her own business,

baby, you don't have to worry about

her marrying you for your money.

- Mmm.

You know, I have to be
honest with you, Aunt Myra.

I work for Marci's company, she's my boss.

- Oh, okay, well, not for long.

The two of you, you're
gonna be partners in life,

and I would imagine you'd
be business partners, too.

- Really?

You think so?

- Oh, absolutely.

You know, Marci would
just love having a partner

to help her run that business,

and who better than her husband?

- Who better?

- Once she starts poppin'
out all those babies...

She won't even be worried
about that business.

That will be the farthest
thing from her mind.

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

- Hmm.
- Yup.

- Well, it's been great
talking to you, Aunt Myra.

Good talkin' to you, too.

- Enlightening.

Mwah!

Have a good night.

- You too.

- Nephew-to-be.

- Yo Kev, where have you been, man?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, hang on, hang on.

I just came across an
opportunity that fell in my lap.

Yeah, yeah.

Let's just say I'm working
on a really big account

that's gonna put me back in the game.

You know, if I'm back in the game,

you back in the game too, right?

- Sorriest Christmas
tree farm I've ever seen,

little old anemic trees.

I hope those guys don't
make a living doing this!

- Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh-shh!

The Chandler women are
taking their beauty rest!

- Well then you, my dear,
must get 40 winks every night.

Come here, baby.

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon.
- Oh boy!

- Mwah!

- Oh, before you go to bed, where's Marci

and what's-his-face?

Everybody asleep, baby.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Marci's here?

- Yeah, yeah, she got in today.

- Who's what's-his-face?

- Man, I don't know.

What's-his-face is her new fiance,

at least that's what I've been told.

- So Marci's getting married?

- Yeah, yeah, next Christmas.

'Bout that time, don't you think?

- Yeah, it's just big, right?

- Yeah, yeah.

If I know the Chandler
women, they're ecstatic

about it, so.
- I bet.

It's just...

- Hey, you want me to
go up and get her, man?

I'm pretty sure that she's up.

I know she'd love to see you.

Let me--

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You getting senile in your 30s?

- What?

- Marci hates me, always has.

- Okay.

And you?

- You know me and your
cousin never got along.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, I know.

- Right.

- All right, no, fine, okay, you used to

pull her hair when she was a little girl.

- Right.

- You teased her all
through middle school,

you ignored her during high school,

you ridiculed everything
she did during college.

So, all right, yeah.

- Like I said.

- Mm-hmm.

- Man, whatever.

Where's your big-shot cousin Preston at?

- Oh, you know, he doesn't
come in until the grand finale,

you know, Christmas Day,
maybe even New Year's Eve so.

- Typical.

- Oh, wait, stop.

Are you serious?

Are y'all still goin' at it?

- Oh yeah.

It's gonna get a lot worse
before it gets better.

- Is you 'bout to go?

- Yeah, man, I gotta get some work done.

- You're still showing
up for breakfast, right?

- C'mon, man.

You know it.

- Oh, dude, don't bring Charlene.

Don't do that.

- Can you let that go?

- I'm just saying.

- We should talk.

- Yeah, yeah.

I want to talk to you also.

Yeah.

- You go first.

- Okay.

It's about this whole
fake engagement thing.

- That's exactly what I
wanted to talk to you about.

Okay, something is
going on with my mother.

She's really happy about this whole thing.

Look--

- I know, and I'm really
sorry that I put you

on the spot like that, but
your family, they really go in.

They were all over me, and
I had to say something.

- Tell me about it.

Tell me about it.

- Well, and you know my motto.

- "Promise 'em anything,
work out the details later."

I understand, and I know you
were trying to do your best,

and I get it, thank you.

But if you don't want to go
through with this whole thing,

I'll find another way to
break it to my mother.

- No, no, no, no, no, I want to.

- You want to?

- I want to help you.

Yeah, I mean, that's why I'm here, right?

To help you.

- You're sure?

- Yeah, for now, it's cool.

- Oh god.

Okay, okay.

You have no idea how relieved I am.

- Good.

Well, in that case.

- You know what, fool, what?

Here.

Oh, I mean, here.

- Yeah.

Marci Jewel, will you fake-marry me?

- Yes.

- Yes!
- Yes!

- Yes!
- Yes!

- Since this is a fake engagement,

I can get you a fake ring.

- Oh, god no, Mother can
spot a fake from a mile away.

Here's what we'll do, we will go shopping

for engagement rings, real ones, my treat.

I'll just return it before
we head back to New York.

All right?

Cool.

- All right, well, now that we're engaged,

we should get to know each other better.

- You know what, no.

- No, likes and dislikes, things that

engaged people should know.

- Right, of course.

We'll just set aside a
few minutes each night

as we're working to go
over some personal details,

all right?

- Yeah, cool.

- Okay.

- All right, I'm gonna go to bed.

- All right, I'm gonna get back to work.

- Just going to my room.

- Your room.

Good night.

Yeah, okay.

- Okay, sorry.

- Bye.

- All I'm sayin' is, I don't
know why you Chandler women

have to wait until the
week before Christmas

to get a daggone tree!

- Because it's tradition, honey.

All the sisters have to agree.

It's been like that since we were little,

and it's not about to change now.

- Tell him, sis.

Now who wants to say grace?

And where's Marci?

- Oh, well, here's Adam.

Adam, where is your betrothed?

- I believe she is finishing
up a conference call.

- A conference call?

My daughter's gonna be
late for her own funeral.

Marci!

- Hey.

Hey man, what's up?

I'm Frankie, I am Marci's
favorite cousin, in-law.

- Donald.

- Call him Duck.

- Hi everybody.

Hey!

Hi, precious.

Uncle Donald!

Hmm, how you doin'?

Look at you!

Bein' engaged
certainly becomes you.

- Well, I certainly won't argue with you.

- Oh, you know what?

That is my big surprise for you, Marci.

- You have a surprise for me?

Okay, I like blue boxes!

- What's up, man!

C'mon in.

- What's up, family?

- Blair!

- Ms. Stephanie.

Marci.

- Blair.

Blair Kirkland.

What brings you to town?

- I never left.

You know me, big-fish small-pond
kinda guy, unlike you.

- Yeah, no, totally big
fish, totally big pond.

- Here we go.
- Yeah.

- So what have you been
doing with yourself?

Are you working, are you in school?

- School, huh?

I'm still an attorney, Marci.

- Oh, right.

I completely forgot.

- Let's say grace.
- Okay.

- Food's getting cold, everyone bow heads.

Food's getting cold.

Bless us o Lord, Marci?

Bless us o Lord for thy food,
which we are about to receive

from thy bounty through
Christ our Lord, Amen.

Amen.

- So Marci, are you gonna
introduce me to your fiance?

- What?

- Adam.

Adam, dear.

I think Blair wants to be
introduced to your fiance, Adam.

- Right, Adam.

Adam, this is Blair.

Blair, this is my fiance, Adam.

- Congratulations, bro.

Good luck.

- Adam, we have to go shopping later

for engagement rings, remember?

- Yeah, yeah.

Yes.

- Oh, yeah.

So Adam, what line of work are you in?

- I'm in admin, Blair.

- Oh, what a coincidence, so is Marci.

Yeah, I know, we work--

- He works with my company.

- Oh, so you two are partners.

- No, she's his boss.

- Oh.

Well, that's convenient.

- Adam, we should go.

- I haven't eaten any--

- Oh, that's okay, we
can heat it up later on.

- Oh, okay.
- I'll make you a package.

Now, Marci, that's rude.

- Oh, hey, I hope you guys don't mind.

I invited Charlene over for dinner.

- What?

- Charlene?

Charlene Berman?

- Charlene, everybody,
everybody, this is Charlene.

- Charlene Berman.

- Well, look at what the cat dragged in.

Mousy Jewel.

- I haven't had this much
fun since divorce court.

Oh, Charlene, it's
so good to see you again.

Oh, thank you.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, no, we are back.

We are back.

Yeah, no, this is a foolproof plan.

Yeah.

The funny thing is her
aunt helped me realize it.

See, her company's about to
explode, and as her husband,

you followin' me?

Yeah.

Oh, you know me.

Promise 'em anything, work
out the details later.

Uh-huh.

Well all I gotta do is seal the deal.

You know me.

I can close a--

- There you are!

- Uh-huh.

Okay, yeah, red headphones.

All right.

Love you too, Mom.

Bye.

- Well, I just signed off on
the revisions to the comp,

so they are on their way
to the client as we speak.

- Awesome!
- Yeah.

You know, Adam, I certainly couldn't

have pulled off this account without you.

I'm glad your agency flopped.

- A blessing in disguise, I guess.

Because without that,
I wouldn't have gotten

to work so closely with you.

- And I kind of like this
ring, too, it's kinda sweet.

- Well, we're about to go
fetch this Christmas tree.

So Adam, you comin'?

- Do I have a choice?

- No.

C'mon, man.

Excuse me.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Have fun.

Get a good one!

- See you soon.

- This is just like old times, huh?

- Mm-hmm.

Cereal for breakfast, cereal
for lunch, cereal for dinner.

- All day.

- I am so glad you came home, Marci.

- Yeah, I am, too.

I just can't believe you
are leaving the country.

Five years, Dana?

- Well, I can't believe you have a fiance,

and you didn't even tell me about him!

- Come on, Dana Dane, you know I couldn't

say anything to you.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I
know, you don't wanna get

henpecked about getting married.

- Well?

- Come on, I wouldn't have
said anything to anyone.

Okay, maybe Frankie.

- Yeah, maybe Frankie.

And everybody else Frankie would've told.

Come on.

- Mmm, I've missed you, cuz.

- I missed you, too.

But you know, I'm doin'
my thing in New York.

- Yeah, I know.

Meetings, presentations, conference calls.

Yeah, I know.

Well, maybe Adam can get you to slow down

and think about family.

I'm really happy that you found someone.

You two seem really happy.

- Yeah.

- How long have you known Adam?

- Three, no, I'm sorry, I'm tired.

Nine...

A year.

Yeah, a year.

- Mm-mm, mm-mm, what is it
that you're not telling me?

- What?

Nothing.

- Marci, you know you
always play with your ear

when you're lying, right?

What's going on?

- Listen, what's going on
is I really need to know

what's going on with my mother.

Somebody's
looking for Mommy!

- Hi!

Hi!

Hi, Auntie.

- Hi, baby.

- Oh, wow.

I better take this, actually.

Hi, it's Marci.

Uh-huh.

- Hey, guys, over here, I
think this is a good one.

- Okay.

- It's cold out here!

- It's a little chilly.
- What's wrong with this one?

This is it.

- Oh, no, no, no.

If you bring that little
twig to the Chandler women,

you will be sleeping outside
in Smokey's old quarters.

- Who's Smokey?

- Marci's favorite dog as a child.

I'm surprised y'all
haven't talked about that,

being engaged and all.

- There you go.

Come on man, let's go
catch up with Uncle Donald.

- Yeah, you know we talk, right?

We talk about all kinds of stuff.

Yeah, we was just talking yesterday.

- I can't believe we struck out again.

- Man, are we in trouble.

- Why don't you just save the trouble

and get the tree from Walmart?

Nevermind.

- You don't even know, do you?

How the whole Chandler
women Christmas tree hunt

got started.

Marci, she was a kid, right, guys?

- Must've been, what, five or six?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they had this really small tree,

and Marci got up on her tippy toes,

trying to get a candy
cane, and the whole tree

fell down on top of her, it was hilarious.

And ever since then, she
demanded that they get

a perfect tree, a tree big enough

that her or her cousins couldn't topple.

- That's a good story.

You know, Blair, I keep forgetting.

How long have you been the
president of Marci's fan club?

- Uh-oh.

- Oh, hey, easy, bro, look, man.

Me, Blair, Dana, Marci, we
all went to school together,

okay, we grew up together.

So just take it easy, stop hatin'.

- No, I'm not hatin'.

It's cool.

I mean, me and Marci, we just, fine.

We just fine.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

I gotta go.

- Okay.

- You know, me and Marci
have a business to run.

- Hmm, well.

- LL Fool J.

- Boy kinda sensitive.

"Me and Marci have a business to run."

- I don't like him.

I don't like him.

- Ah, he's all right.

He's just from New York.

- And he's short.

- Yeah, he's from New York.

- Oh hey, guess...

- Cuz, I've gotta give it to you,

you got his nose wide open.

Your boy actin' like he a little jealous.

- Okay, what happened?

- Hey, let him tell you.

- Can I come in?

Clarion loved the composites.

- That's great.

- How did the Christmas tree hunt go?

- You know, your friend
Blair is a real jerk.

- I could've told you that.

- Yeah. He got a thing
for you or something?

- Blair?

No, we actually kinda
hate each other, why?

What happened?

- Nothing.

He's just got a big mouth.

- Adam, are you jealous?

- Jealous?

That's cute.

Marci, you are my boss.

This is a game.

No reason to be jealous, right?

- Right.

Why would you be jealous?

- Look.

Remember that game you were
talking about us playing

where we get to know each other better?

- Right.

- Yeah, I think we should do
that, it could be good for us.

- Okay.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- I think I would like that.

- Yeah.

Yeah, good.

- Let's play.

- No Christmas tree again?

- Pathetic.

Unbelievable.

- Men.

What did you expect?

- Listen.

Hold on, ladies.

Relax, okay?

We tried.

- Might I make a suggestion?

Why don't the Chandler
women go out and find a tree

that the Chandler women can agree on?

That way, the Chandler women can be happy.

- Oh, don't think we can't do it.

- And don't you think we won't do it.

- 'Cause we will.

- As a matter of fact, that's exactly

what we're going to do, ladies.

We're going to select a
superlative Christmas tree,

we're gonna decorate
it, trust and believe,

we will do a much better job than the men.

- Is that so?

Okay, we'll see about that.

Tell you what, men versus women.

Whoever finds the best tree wins.

- You're on.

- Wins what, Daddy?

- Oh, wait a minute, I got it, okay.

So loser has to bring
the tree in, set it up,

and decorate it all on they own,

but you only get to chose
three people to help you do it.

That's what I'm talking about.

- Wait a minute. I don't like
the way you looked over here

when you said "loser."

- I was addressing it to everybody,

but if you want to pick it--

- Deal.

- Deal.
- Deal.

- All right.
- All right.

- All right, whatever then.
- Stephanie.

- All right.
- Deal.

- Deal.
- Come on.

- Come on with it.

- Chandler womens' handshake.

- Oh, they got a secret little handshake.

- Oh, man, you.

- Ooh, whee!

It's gettin' cold out here, Frankie.

- Yeah, it is getting chilly.
- Comin' in early this year.

Hey, dawg.
- Hmm?

- Tell me something.

Do you really think that three of those

prissy little Chandler women can haul in

a 10-foot tree by theyself?

- No, but it'll definitely
be fun watching them try.

- Man, you right about that.

Look, man, I got to get outta here, man.

- Oh, you back on the case, huh?

- Man, you know it, man,
and it is driving me crazy.

- What's going on with it?

- Man, the client, she having
second thoughts now, man,

'cause nobody in the company
want to back up her story.

You know what I'm saying?

They all afraid.

- Man.

Must be lonely being a whistleblower.

- Man, who you tellin'?

- Hey, listen.

I know we done talked about
this a million times before,

but I gotta ask again.

What's up with you and Charlene, man?

- Man, we good, we good.

- Liar.

Come on, man, listen.

You know I think that
you deserve better, okay?

And all Charlene is gonna do is just

suck you dry before she robs you.

- Look, man, everybody can't have

the perfect mate like you and Marci.

So just let it go.

- Oh, wait a minute.

Hold on.

Kinda sounds like to
me that you're jealous

of Marci's new man.

I don't know.

- Jealous?

Of Marci?

- Yeah.

- Dude, did you fall
down and hit your head?

It's me we talking about, man.

- Okay.
- Marci?

- I know, I know.

- Man, look, whatever, dude.

I'll see you at the tree
farm later on, all right?

- All right, cool.

- Man.
- I'll holla at you later.

- You always on that Marci
stuff, man. You trippin'.

- I know, sounds crazy, right?

You jealous, hey.

It's the truth.

What is your least favorite food?

Least?

Oh, hot dogs.

- Hot dogs?
- Oh yeah.

- Everybody loves hot dogs.
- Oh, no, mm-mm.

Fourth of July cookout,
my Aunt Myra's house.

I choked on a hot dog,
almost died, actually.

Yeah, I've hated 'em ever since.

- Wow.

And who cooked that?

Was that Aunt Myra?

- I think it was Uncle Donald, actually.

Like, really crispy on the ends.

All right, what about you?

Biggest disappointment.

- Ooh.

When my agency folded.

- Gotcha.

- It was a dream of mine
and Kevin's since college.

- Mm.

- It was all we dreamed about.

All we cared about.

So, when it folded, I don't know.

Okay.

Switching subjects.

- Mm-hmm.

- What is your favorite cartoon?

- Ooh, "Porky Pig," without a doubt.

"Porky Pig," yes.

"The-The-The-That's all,
folks!" I mean, come on.

How adorable is that?

- Oh, that's great a
impression, by the way.

- Thank you.

I might take that on the road.

- Yeah, for a short trip.

Come on.

"Porky Pig."

- All right, okay, Mr. Smarty Pants.

Your dream car?

Make it a good one.

- My dream car is a 1958
Alfa Romero Giulietta Spider.

- Oh, okay, now I see
why you can criticize

my impression, because you're so good.

- Don't hate.
- That was good.

- Don't hate.
- Yeah, that was good.

- All right.

Wow.

What else, what else?

Okay, here's a biggie.

- Mm-hmm.

- What is your biggest fear?

- Hmm.

Get all serious on me.

My biggest fear.

- Yeah, no judgement.

- No judging.

- What is that?

- Scout's honor.

This is--

- Scout's honor?

Were you even a scout?

I don't think that's right.

That don't look accurate to me.

- I was a scout chief, leader.

- I guess.

Chief, really?

- Stop stalling.

- Failure.

Failure, yeah, yeah.

I have this fear that, you
know, I'll wake up one day

and be 80 years old and not
have accomplished anything

that I set out to accomplish,
and my life will just be

one big flop.

- I was kinda expecting you
to say, spiders, clowns.

- Yeah, you know, I don't
like spiders either,

come to think of it, and
clowns frighten me, for sure.

But, you know what?

Actually, I'm kind of a big scaredy-cat.

- No.
- Underneath it all.

Well, yeah.

- No, I don't believe that for one second.

See, you're a bulldog just like me.

You see an opportunity, you
go after it, and you take it.

That's courage.

That's strength.

- I need to write that one down.

- You better write it down,
and you better give me credit.

Oh!

- What?!

Oh, my god!

Are you serious right now?

- I don't like dogs.

I don't like dogs.

- That's a Chihuahua.

- That's a big Chihuahua.

- Oh, my, okay.

- It's like a monster.

- Now I see who you really are.

Okay.

Now I know what your fear is.

Little mousy dogs.

- Whatever.

- Here we go!

Where's Marci?

- Oh god.

- Liz, I told you to put
on your sweater already.

- I'm not wearing a sweater.

The sweater is damaged.
- Oh, stop fibbing.

- Mom, I'm not wearing this.
- Yes, you are, darling.

- Okay, no, they smell like mothballs.

- Where do you think I
packed those sweaters?

Adam, get in the car,
you're riding with the men.

You're driving, baby.

You're driving, baby.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, you, in the back.

- No, but I'm not gonna sit in the middle.

- Get in the car.

- I'm too fabulous to be in the middle.

- And I'm not sitting on the hump.

Get in.

Get in the car.

Who's driving?

Oh my god.

Where's the keys?

- Come on.

Where's Bria?!

- Hey Bria, come get in
the car with Daddy, honey.

- Here I come, here I come!

- All right, look at
you, you look so nice.

Okay, ladies, we're gonna
split up and meet back here

in 45 minutes to report our findings.

Are you ready?

- Yep.

- Mom!

Wait, wait, wait.

I got you.

Oh, move!

We can't all go by ourselves.

Like, what are you gonna do?

If I had been around more.

Oh, okay.

Can you slow down?

- Honey, why are you
treating me like an invalid?

I've been hobbling on
this ankle for weeks.

You would've known, well, nevermind.

- Oh, had I been home, I would've known?

Or better yet, I could've helped.

- I wasn't gonna say that.

Yeah, but you were thinking it, Mom.

- Honey, I was not.

Well, you know what?

I'm not gonna lie with you, Marci.

I can't tell you how many
times I have wanted you here.

How many times I have wanted you here.

For my birthday, for
Mother's Day, for Christmas.

Had to make up all kinds
of excuses because of you.

- What excuses, Mom?

I was working.

- Working?

Work, work, always putting
work before family.

- Oh.

- Marci, do not turn around from me.

Now, you look at me.

You brought it up, and
I am going to finish.

Marci, I have missed my daughter.

Do you understand me?

Baby, I know that I probably
got on your last nerve

talking about getting
married, I understand,

and having children.

But I need you to be honest,
with yourself and with me.

Is that the only reason, hmm?

The only reason why you
stayed away for so long?

I better get going.

Your Aunt Myra's gonna be
blowing that blasted whistle

in another 45 minutes.

I'm comin'.

- Really?

Oh, whoa.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

Marci.

- Yeah.

Yeah, Marci.

- My bad.

Do not tell me you got the
perfect Christmas tree tracker

in that phone.

- Ha, ha, ha, funny.

- You know, these Christmas traditions

become a little silly, right?

- No.

I mean, opening presents,
spending time with family,

eggnog at midnight, what
could be better than that?

- Okay, so you mean to tell
me you were in New York

all this time, doing all
those things with Adam?

- Oh, and you were out here
getting all cozy with Charlene.

- Okay, I only ask because you,

it's been so long since you've been home,

I figured life in New
York must be real sweet.

- Hey, listen, you got something you want

to get off your chest, Mr. Lawyer Man?

I mean, spit it out.

Better yet, why don't
you do us all a favor

and go spend Christmas, you know.

- With my family?

That's what you were gonna say?

- I'm sorry.

My moth, that's not what I was gonna say.

- You know, when you didn't call, I just,

I didn't think you knew.

- My mother told me, and
I told her to tell you.

- What?

What, you didn't have
time to tell me yourself?

Your condolences?

She did.

And I told her to tell you thank you.

So, thank you, Marci.

- Marci.

♪ Silent night ♪

♪ Holy night ♪

♪ All is calm ♪

♪ All is bright ♪

- Now, as I was saying, why
don't we get out of here

and go back to my place?

- I was going back to the
office to get some work done.

I'll come by later on.

- You said that last night.

- I know, Charlene. But
this case is just getting--

- I expect to see you
at my house in one hour,

Blair Kirkland.

Otherwise, don't bother coming at all.

- Marci.
- Mm-hmm.

Can you let everyone
know I said good night?

- Oh, sure.

- Better run home now.

- All right, have it on my
desk in the morning. All right.

Ah, Blair.

- Preston.

How are you?

- I'm well.

Merry Christmas.

- Likewise.

- Preston!

- Cuz, what's up?

Look at you!

Stand back, let me look at you.

- Lookit, lookit, cousin!

- I see you, girl.

- Adam Reed.
- All right, how you doing?

- Adam is my right-hand man at the agency.

- Ah, ah.

- Oh!

Slow down.

- All right, all right.

- And?

- Oh, and my fiance.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

- Hmm, VS1, I see.

- That would be VVS1.

- Oh, excuse me, very, very.

Did it set you very, very back?

- I'm doing okay.

- Listen, no one's been
able to tie this one down.

You must tell me how you did that one day.

- I will, over drinks.

- You don't really--

- No problem, I'll have
the office set it up.

Listen, Marce, you can't
keep Aunt Stephanie waiting,

you know, you can't avoid her
singing all night, so stop it.

Let's go.

- Okay, I'll be right there,
I'll be right there. ♪ Silent ♪

I know, I know.

What the heck was that?

- I don't know, I think your
mom needs a singing lesson.

- I'm not talking about my
mother, I'm talking about you.

You were fawning over him
like a little fan boy.

- I wasn't fawning all over anybody.

This is your family, your
cousin, I'm trying to be nice.

- Yes, he's my cousin,
but we're not that close.

- Well, if you're not
that close, maybe somebody

should've told him that before he dropped

a million-dollar contract in your lap.

- Marci, Marci, would
you please come help me

sing this song?

These people cannot sing
to save their lives.

- I'll be right there, Mom.

- Forget you.

Say, you give a woman some
sheet music and a solo

and she think she's Jennifer
Hudson and Patti LaBelle

and Rihanna.

Great.

It's Judy from Clarion Candy.

Does she not know it's 9:00 at night?

- Go be with your family, I'll take it.

- Oh my god, this is insane.
- I'll take it.

- Marci!
- Okay.

All right.
- Marci!

- I'm coming, Mother!

- Hey, Judy, Adam Reed.

Yeah, I'm Marci's partner.

Well, she's a little tied up right now,

so, I'll be handling
things with you directly.

- No, I understand.

No, I will, I promise.

It's just a little,
yeah, on the right side.

Yeah.

Yeah, I will.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

- Mom.
- Morning, honey!

- Morning.
- Aw.

How'd you sleep?

- That bed is way too comfortable.

Is that a new mattress?

- Mm-hmm.

You hungry?

- You know, I'm not really a--

- Blueberry pancakes?

- Breakfast kind--
- Still like 'em, right?

- I do, I do.

How can I resist blueberry pancakes?

- All right.

There you go, sweetie.

- Thank you. You know, Mom,
I wanted to apologize to you.

- Oh, honey.

You don't need to apologize.

I completely forgot,
you cannot sing your way

out of a paper bag.

- Why would I apologize for my singing?

No.

- Honey, anything you
want to apologize for,

it can wait till after Christmas.

- Absolutely.

And we had the same votes.

- Good morning.

- Right, Judy, I couldn't
agree with you more.

Right.

We'll get right on it.

- You sweet on Adam, huh?

Just like I was with your father.

- Mom.

- I especially miss him
this time of year, though.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I miss him too, Mom.

- Have you been over to the cemetery?

You know, just put some
flowers on his grave, honey.

Mom.

- It's been a little while, you know.

- I know.

Mom, you know I'm just...

- Huh?

- I'm not really good
at that kind of thing.

I'll get there.

- All right, well, tell
Adam to get off the phone.

Pancakes are almost ready.

- Okay.

- Oh.

It looks fine.

- It was, it was like
that, always like that

in the first place, which is fine.

- Marci, honey, your aunties are here.

Aunties are here to pick us up, let's go.

- Mom, I'm actually preparing
for a conference call

with a client.

- A conference call?

Honey, don't you remember?

We have to make cookies for game night,

plus get the ingredients
for the peach cobbler.

- Peach cobbler?

The famous Chandler women's peach cobbler?

- That's right.

- Ma, I promise, I will be done and ready

for the baking and the games.

Please, can you just go without me?

- You know, Marci, if you
want to go with your mom,

I can take care of the conference call.

- Yeah, but I haven't
spoken to Judy in two days.

I don't want her to think I'm--

- No, Marci, Judy's
fine, she's up to speed,

I've been talking to her.

- She's fine, I mean, unless
you don't trust me to--

- Of course I trust you.

All right, Mom, let me get my
things and I'll be right out.

- I'll see you in the car.
- Okay.

- Myra, stop blowin' that
horn, you're gonna wear it out.

- Yeah, just go have fun with your family.

- Oh god.

I'm really sorry to put
all this work on you.

It's a lot.
- It's what I'm here for.

- Yeah.

- Hey, listen, when you get back,

maybe we could sneak away, do some

Christmas shopping of our own.

If you want to.

- Okay.

- Yeah?
- I think I'd like that.

- Okay. I already got
the Walmart picked out.

- Sneak away to Walmart.

- See you soon?

- Okay.

Have fun.

♪ Jingle bells, jingle ♪

♪ Chestnuts roasting on an open fire ♪

We're back!

- Oh, it's about time you
two lovebirds showed up.

- Thank you, Marci,
for coming back in time

to help us with the
baking, with the cooking.

Thank you.

- Sorry I missed that.

- Well, all I know is I cleaned up.

I got CDs, DVDs, clothes, everything.

A razor.

- Sounds like you worked up an appetite.

- I did work up an appetite.

So where is the peach cobbler?

Right here,
but you can't have any

till Christmas day.

- So is there anything in here for me?

- I'm surprised you're
still speaking to me.

- I know, you're a jerk.

- I got that, player.

Appreciate that, thank you.

- All right, you two.

You see it.

Pucker it on up.

- Well, you don't have to tell me twice.

- Ooh!

- That's what I'm talking 'bout!

All right.

- Okay, okay, okay.

- That's what I call
working up an appetite.

Somebody get that boy a plate.

And you, young man, bring
that mistletoe hither.

- I got you, Dad.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Come here, babe.
- Don't get too crazy now.

- Come here, babe.

- Uh-oh.

- Mmm...

- Oh, hey!

All right!

Woo!

- That's what I'm talking about.

- Ma, what's in that glass?

Honey, it's eggnog.

- Yes, but what else?
- Oh, stop now.

- I mean, thank you.

- Hey, Marci.
- Hmm?

- Sorry about before.

I just kinda had to do what I had to do.

- Yeah, you did what you had to do.

It's no problem.

- You didn't mind, did you?

- What, you kissing me?

No, did you mind kissin' me?

- No, I didn't mind it.

Actually I kinda liked it.

- Okay.

I might have liked it a little bit, too.

- My bad.

Excuse me, y'all.

- All right, so, anyway,
the object of this game

is to find out who knows the most

about a particular Chandler woman,

hence the name Chandler Women Challenge.

All right, now I didn't
come up with that name,

the sisters did, so.

- I think we should do my Dana.

- Dana?
- Dana.

- No.
- I think we should do me.

- Definitely not.

- Let's do Marci.

- Let's not do Marci.

- No, let's not do Marci.

I mean, she's been been gone forever,

no one's gonna remember
anything about her.

- No, let's do Marci, it'll be fun.

- Frankie, you're absolutely right.

Marci carried around that
raggedy stuffed elephant

everywhere she went.

- Yeah.

Okay, so, Mom, you got three points.

Baby, you got one.

- And I'm in the lead.

- Hmm.

Okay, okay, okay.

I got a question.

What is Marci's least favorite food?

- Oh.

- I got it.

I got this one.

You better go ahead, son.

- All right, her least
favorite food is hot dogs,

'cause she almost choked on
one, Fourth of July holiday,

Aunt Myra's house.

- Good job, Adam.

Good job.

- Sorry, Adam.

It was a marshmallow
that almost did Marci in.

- Honey, I'm sure that Adam would know.

I mean, he is her fiance, right?

- Yeah, but I was there.

- You are right.

I forgot.

I completely forgot
about that marshmallow.

- Okay, so.

- He's right, he's right.

- Here we go with the
lightning round, okay?

Which does our Marci Jewel prefer.

Basketball, soccer, or ping-pong?

Ping-pong.

- That was me.

- I said it first.

Ping-pong.

- Actually, I think it was a tie.

- Yeah, sounded like it.

Okay, George Jefferson, Archie
Bunker, or Fred Sanford?

- Definitely George Jefferson.

♪ And I'm movin' on up ♪

- Okay, last one for me.

High heels or sneakers?

Heels.

- Okay, I got one, I got one.

What did Marci used to
say she wanted to do

when she grew up?

- Aw.
- Oh, I know this one.

How do I look?

Well, how do I look?

Anyway, thank you.

I want to make the world a better place

and spread love and
happiness wherever I go.

In heels, of course.

What do I win?

I mean, I'm sorry.

What do I win, what do I win?

What do I win?

- You win Marci.

Oh!

- I have a better idea.

How about a nice dinner for you and yours?

Congratulations, Blair.

- What?
- Nice.

- From me and mine.

Anybody want cookies?

Yeah, yeah, I'll take one.

♪ Oh come let us adore him ♪

♪ Oh come let us adore him ♪

♪ Oh come let us adore him ♪

♪ Christ the Lord ♪

- Really nice.

- It is, actually.

It's been so long since
I've been to one of these,

I've forgotten how awesome they are.

♪ Oh come let us adore him ♪

♪ Oh come let us adore him ♪

- No, I'll be right back.

Enjoy the concert.

Give me a sec.

♪ Christ the Lord ♪

Hi, Judy, are you there?

Hi.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I was
inside my mom's conc, uh-huh.

Yes.

Yes, no, I realize that,
but it's Christmas, and so.

Oh no, no, no, no, no, I
definitely value your business.

Of course, no question.

Okay.

Okay, well then I can have
that to you tomorrow morning.

Tonight?

Okay, sure, no problem.

I'll shoot it over to you tonight.

Okay.

All right, listen, have a Merry Chr...

- Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.

The demanding life of a big-time ad exec.

- And of a small-town lawyer.

- Ah, here we go.

- Tell me, how do you
represent everybody in town?

I mean, what happens
when you have two clients

who are at odds with each other?

- Well, that's actually
happened, believe it or not.

I just basically help 'em figure out a way

to resolve their differences.

It's not that hard.

- Gotcha.

- So, what about you?

I mean, it's gotta be some moral stuff

that comes up in your line of work.

- No, no, no, no.

Not really, I try to
separate my personal beliefs

from my business responsibilities.

I mean, my job is to sell
products, services, and ideas.

I don't legislate morality,
that's not what I do.

- Well, it's obviously served you well,

you seem to be pretty successful.

- You say that like it's a bad thing.

In fact, everyone in this
town seems to resent me

'cause I'm focused on my career.

- If you were a man, no
one would care, right?

- Exactly.
- Double standards.

But, to honest with you,
Marci, I don't really think

anybody in this town
begrudges you anything,

especially not your success.

I mean, I don't.

I just think people that love you

want to be a part of your life.

- Are you saying that you
are happy for my success?

- Why wouldn't I be?

- You know, I was surprised
at how well you did

on the Chandler Women Challenge.

I didn't, I couldn't believe you really

remembered all that about me.

- Now, what would be so
hard to believe that,

I mean, come on.

- Yeah, I guess.

- You have no idea.

- Hmm?

- You know what, I'm gonna get inside.

- Okay.

Okay, I'll be in, in two seconds.

- Marci.
- Yeah?

- When you left and tried
to forget about everything

and everybody, it doesn't
mean everyone else

forgot about you.

Far from it.

- And now, church, a solo
from our own, Sister Chandler.

Sister, come on.

Give God some praise.

♪ Said the night wind to the little lamb ♪

♪ Do you see what I see ♪

♪ Way up in the sky, little lamb ♪

♪ Do you see what I see ♪

♪ Away in the manger ♪

♪ No hmm hmm his head ♪

♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you a Merry
Christmas and a happy ♪

♪ The first Noel ♪

♪ Ha-da-da-da-da ♪

♪ Jingle Bells, jingle
bells, jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh what fun it is to
ride in a one-horse open ♪

♪ We three kings of orient are ♪

♪ Bearing gifts from so far ♪

♪ And deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Fa la la la la la la la la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪

♪ Fa la la la la la la ♪

♪ O holy night ♪

♪ The stars are brightly shining ♪

♪ Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

This concludes our Christmas concert.

- Yeah.

Nah, dude, couldn't be better.

Yeah. I mean, I had a couple
speed bumps along the way,

but nothing I can't handle.

Huh?

No, it'll be fine as soon as I get out

of this one-horse town.

Yeah, yeah, no, I promise
you, Marci's gonna make me

her partner in more ways than one.

Yeah, we'll get to finally
run a successful ad agency

for a change.

Yeah, I gotta get back in here, man.

Join hands with the family
and sing Christmas carols.

I know.

- Hey, Marce, can I holla
at you for a minute?

- Oh, sure. I'll meet
you at the car, okay?

- Okay.

- Okay, see you later.

What's going on?

- Okay, how well do you know Adam?

- What?

- This is about your fiance
taking advantage of you.

- Really?

- Now, hear me out.

I heard Adam upstairs on the phone,

he was talkin' to some guy.

- Seriously?

- They were talkin' about
how, listen, just listen.

They were talkin' about
taking over your company.

He said that you two were
gonna become partners

in more than one way.

- Yeah, okay, listen, Mr.
Big-Town, Small-Town Lawyer,

whatever, don't interrogate me, okay?

I'm pretty sure you don't even know

what you're taking about.

- Marci, he's using you.

He's tryin' to get ahead at your expense.

- You don't know what you're saying.

- I know what I heard.
- Just cut it out.

You heard wrong.

- Hey, hey, you okay?

- Ask him.

- Ask me what?

- Blair seems to think
that you're using me

to get your hands on my business.

You know, I always
knew you didn't like me.

- Come on, man.

- No seriously, ever since I got here,

you been tryin' to embarrass
me in front of Marci

and in front of her family.

And now this is what you got, right?

- Okay, so what did you mean when you said

you two were gonna become
more than partners?

Yeah, I heard your little
conversation up there.

- You heard my phone call, man?

Yeah.

- Who are you?

- You know, I don't know
if you realize this,

but Marci and I are about to get married.

We're gonna be partners in life.

I know you got this little
schoolboy crush on Marci,

it's real cute, but you
need to let that go.

You know, unlike you and
everybody else in this town,

I actually believe in Marci, and I support

everything that she does 100 %.

I stand behind her.

- I bet you do.

- Yeah, I do, I'm a lucky man.

I'm a very lucky man.

I mean that, Marci.

You hear me?

I'm very lucky to have found you,

and I'm just now starting to realize that.

- Seriously?

You buyin' this, Marci?

- I know you think you're,
like, looking out for me

or some kind, I don't even
know what you're doing--

- Marci I don't even know who you are.

Because the Marci I knew would've seen

this clown comin' a mile away.

- Hey, man!
- That's enough, all right?

We're at church.

- A guilty man always strike first.

- Cut it out.

- Honey, I made you hot
chocolate with marshmallows.

- Thank you, Mama.

- Thank you, Ms. Stephanie.

- Uh-huh, cookies?

There you go.

And guess what?

I made 'em with the miniatures in there.

You okay, honey?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, Adam and I had a
run-in with Blair at church.

- Oh?

- Really?

What kind of run-in?

- Dude's crazy.

- Again.

What kind of run-in?

- Yeah, no, I really don't
think it was that important.

Just, is everything okay with Blair?

- It's tough for him
this time of year, honey.

- Yeah, especially with
Cruella being on his heels,

and then he's got that
big Clarion lawsuit, so.

- Clarion Candy?

- Yeah, yeah, you probably heard of 'em.

- Yeah, but what does Blair
have to do with Clarion Candy?

What lawsuit?

- Oh, man, you name it.

Just unfair labor practices
with sex, race, gender,

age discrimination.

Yeah, one of Blair's clients got fired

because she blew the whistle on 'em,

and you know, Preston represents 'em.

But he's been doing a pretty
good job so far keepin' things

up under wraps, but, man,
he's got a lot of work

ahead of him if he wants
to clean up that image.

- Mm-hmm, good luck with that.

- Tell me about it.
- Mm-hmm.

- I'll be right back, I'm
gonna go to the bathroom.

- Oh, are you okay, honey?

- Mm-hmm.

- No, I'll go.

- What is goin' on?

- What's wrong with her?

- You wanna tell me what's goin' on?

Marci Leanne Jewel Chandler.

- Mom.

So, I've been working
with this big client.

Supposed to turn my little boutique agency

into a major player in
the advertiser world.

You know, but when Preston
referred me to them,

I had no idea that they were
embroiled in this lawsuit.

- Well, maybe they weren't.

Knowing Preston, he probably
saw the writing on the wall.

- But I had no idea.

Ooh.

- Had you known, would you
have taken them on anyway?

Marci?

- Remember when you asked me if there was

a reason I hadn't been home?

Well, Mom, there are several reasons.

You know, everybody in this
family has had success.

Everybody.

I have cousins who have
all these fancy degrees

and successful husbands
and perfect children,

everyone except for me.

I was always the flighty one.

One who had to find her
wings, find her way.

And I found my way.

I did.

I found my way.

I finally found something
that I'm really good at it.

When I found it, I worked really hard

to make sure that I could get better.

I was gonna show 'em.

That's all that mattered to me,

was being the best advertising
executive that I could be.

So when this client fell into my lap,

I just knew this was my
break, this was my chance,

this was my opportunity
to prove to everybody

that I could do it,
that I finally made it.

So, to answer your question, I don't know.

I don't have an answer for that,

and that scares me a little bit.

- You know what's scarier, honey?

Deciding what to do now that you do know.

- Your mom's makin' some more
hot cocoa if you want a cup.

Hard to believe tomorrow's Christmas Eve.

- Did you know?

- I had no idea.

I mean, I figured there had to be a reason

why they wanted to do a
complete image makeover,

but I didn't know it was this.

Scout's honor.

You know, honestly, Marci, I don't see

what difference it makes.

They're our clients, they
hired us to do a campaign,

that's what we're doing.

We did not do any of these
things to those people.

This is business, this happens every day.

Look, just don't tell
me this is gonna affect

the way you do business with them.

- No. It's definitely not gonna
affect the way I do business

with them, because I'm not
going to do business with them.

Are you kidding me right now?

- Do I look like I'm
kidding you right now?

- After weeks of working on this account,

all the long hours, countless phone calls?

You drag me all the way
out here to Chandler Town.

I am currently pretending to
be your fiance, right now.

All this for this account, and
you wanna throw it all away

because your childhood
crush is representin'

some chick that's got
beef with a candy company.

- He's not my childhood crush.

- Really?
- Really.

- Where's your focus?

Is that all you can say right now?

- No, it's not all I can say.

All I can say is I'm
not gonna allow myself

to be used to clean up
somebody else's dirt.

You heard what Frankie said.

These people are slimy.

- How do you even know that's true?

- Because I know it's true.

- Because Blair said so?

- You really think we should continue

to work with these people?

- I honestly think we should
continue to work with them.

Oh.

- I honestly think I busted
my butt on this case,

and I honestly think you owe me.

- I what?

- Yeah, you owe me.

- You think I, listen, all right.

You owe me.

- You know what, Blair
was right about you,

and you're right, I owe you, I do owe you.

I owe you a flight back to Chicago,

and I got you on that.

I also got your Christmas bonus.

- Marci.
- Tonight.

Nope, fully paid.
- Marci.

- For all your services
rendered, don't worry,

I'll take care of you, tonight.

- Okay, Marci, Marci.
- No, no, no.

Window, aisle, let me know, I'm
bookin' your flight tonight.

- Relax.

Calm down, 'cause you are
about to make a huge mistake.

- No, Adam, I already made
a huge mistake, I hired you.

See, because people were
telling me about you,

how unscrupulous you
were, and I didn't listen.

I was so wanting to win
that I didn't listen.

- So now what?

You don't wanna win anymore?

You wanna keep doin' all these little

penny-pinchin' accounts like
you been doin' all these years?

- No, see, I'm gonna win.

I'm gonna win.

That's what I do.

Jewel Advertising will be a
huge success because of me,

not because of you.

Smells good.

- Morning, baby.

You look a little tired.

Were you up all night?

- Yeah, something like that.

- Thought I heard a little
something last night.

You and Adam have a fight?

Oh, I don't think so.

What in the devil?

Did I just...

You wanna help me make
another cobbler, babe?

- I would love to.

- Cinnamon in the bowl, please.

- Okay, how much?

- Just a dash.

That's not a dash, babe.

What was that?

Three taps is a dash.

An uh is a dash.

- Okay, well, now it's in there.

- Okay.

- I can't do anything now, Mom.

- Put the peaches in there.

- Hey.

- Probably not a good
idea to sneak up on people

at the cemetery, you know.

- I'm sorry.

Sorry.

You know, it's my first
time here in four years.

- It's not an easy place to come to.

- No, it's not.

But I'm actually glad I came.

I mean, I know my dad's not here, but--

- I know what you mean.

I come by here for the same reason.

Marci, I wanted to apologize for the...

- No, no, no.

Don't.

Turns out you were right about Adam.

He left this morning.

Well, this is the part
where you get to gloat.

- For once, I wish I was wrong.

Sort of.

- Can we talk?

- Yeah, let's get out of this weather.

- Okay.

- So you are the agency that Clarion hired

to clean up his image.

Wow.

- Guilty as charged.

You know, and what's
worse about it is that

Adam didn't think there was anything wrong

with us representing them.

- And you do?

- No, I dropped the account
this morning, I called them.

- So how'd they take that?

- They asked me for Adam's number.

- Don't tell me they told you
that you're done in this town.

- Yeah, well, guess what, I'm not worried.

I did it once, I will do it again,

only this time, on my own.

- Look at you.

Marci Chandler Jewel.

I'm proud of you.

- Wow.

It took me blowing the
biggest opportunity of my life

to get you to squeeze those words out.

- Don't start, you're so dramatic.

- Found some more candy canes.

- Oh, good, perfect, put some over there.

- Okay.

- Oh my god, remember when we were little

and we used to try to go to
bed before the sun went down?

- Oh my god, yes!

Terrified that if Santa caught us,

he would put sawdust in our eyes.

What was that?

- That was kinda cruel of
Santa, don't you think?

Very.

- Oh, tomorrow's Christmas.

- Yeah, tomorrow's Christmas.

And then the next day,
you leave for five years.

Dana, I am really sorry
that we lost touch.

For the record, for what it's worth,

you have always been my favorite
cousin, and my best friend.

- I know.

I know.

Why else would you leave New York

in the middle of a huge campaign

just to come spend one
last Christmas with me?

- You know, good point.

Good point.

I had an interesting
chat with Blair today.

- How'd that happen?

- Well, we bumped into
each other at the cemetery.

- Okay.

Okay, okay.

- Your crazy husband, Frankie,
he's always had this notion

that Blair has a crush on me.

I don't know.

What do you think?

- Well, what would you do if it were true?

- Woman, I'm asking you a question.

Just can you answer it, please?

- Well, why don't you ask
him tomorrow at dinner?

- You know what, maybe I will
ask him tomorrow at dinner.

Good!

I'm gonna miss you.

- I'll miss you too.

- Bria, hon, come on in here,
I got one more gift for you.

- Can I have a candy cane?

- You know what, you gotta
ask your mother about that,

you know how she is about the cavities.

- One.

- One?
- Yes.

Girl, Granddaddy gonna
give you two candy--

- Dad!

- Your mama don't know
what she talkin' about.

Be quiet.

- Good for you.

- Hey, honey, how you doin'?

Hey!

- Hey, what's goin' on?

- All right, man.

- So there's Blair.

- And?

- And you said you were gonna--

- I know what I said.

I know what I said.

- So?

- So what?

- Go.

- You are so.

Just why are you in my business?

- Why are you such a scaredy-cat?

Go!

- Okay.

- Merry Christmas, baby.

- Oh.

Hey, merry Christmas,
Charlene, you look great.

- Thank you.

Hi everyone.

Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

- Mousy.

- Marci.

- Right.

Honey, I have your
present back at my house.

What do you say that you and
I just go back and, you know--

- I promised Ms. Stephanie that I would

spend some time with everybody.

- Oh, well, it's so
busy here, I'm sure that

she won't even miss you.

- Yeah, I'm just not
ready to go yet, Charlene.

- Well, I am.

- Well, I guess you gotta do
what you gotta do, and go?

- Go?

Well, maybe I'll go without you.

- This is where I wanna be, Charlene.

- You two-bit Mayberry lawyer.

- Oh!

- Charlene.

Really?

What you lookin' at?

What?

- Nothin', man.

- Ain't that what you wanted?

Yeah.

Okay, all right, well,
get back to the fish story.

I wanted to meet my wife in college.

I'm laughing, be, hey.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

- Where you goin'?

- Just let it go, Dad.
- Where you goin'?

- So what's up?

- You know, I wanted to talk
to you because there, I...

- Come on!

- There, when we--

- Marci, you're a pitch person.

Just say it.

- Right.

Do you like me?

I like you.

I always have.

- Ooh.

- See, I know, I told
Dana this was so dumb.

- No, no, no, no, it's not, it's not.

Look, I'm laughing because
I been waitin' 25 years

to hear you say this.

And what's dumb is, I
didn't say it to you first.

- Are you serious?

I always thought you hated me.

- No.

I didn't hate you.

I was mad at you 'cause
you didn't like me.

- Shh, I can't hear anything.

- Well, I can't either with you talking.

- Well, I can't hear.

Now you two be quiet.

- Shh.

- And where's the rest of your dress?

- Myra used it to make that jacket.

- Shut up, girl.

- Mm-hmm.

- And then, when you
went away, I got angrier.

I was mad at myself, you, everybody.

- Wow.

Well, you wanna hear something funny?

- Even funnier than what I just said?

- I'm pretty sure I can top that.

- Okay, go ahead.

- You're the reason why
I never got married.

- Okay, yeah, you topped it.

- Right.

I mean, every guy I ever
dated was either just too...

- Not good enough?

Not successful enough?

- Not you enough.

- Marci.

- Okay.

Now that I have everyone's attention,

I actually have a confession
that I need to make.

- What is it, baby?

- Adam and I weren't really engaged, okay?

I know, I know, it's
kinda crazy, but we were

faking it the whole time,
because I didn't want you

to be giving me a hard time.

- We already knew that!

- Look, Marci, we may not
have seen you in years,

but we know you.

After a while, it was just
plain as day to everyone.

- Except Blair.

- What do you expect from a
two-bit Mayberry attorney?

- I am so sorry that you felt the only way

that you could be welcomed
home by your family, by me,

is if you pretended to do
what I wanted you to do.

- No, Mom, not you, it's me.

I'm the one who should be sorry.

I haven't been home in forever.

And now you're sick, and it's not--

- Who's sick?

- Mom is!

She's having blood tests,
she just has pains and--

- Honey, I told you that I
had the routine blood work

for my annual checkup, that's all.

And as for the illness,
little injury with the knee

and the ankle, little bit on the back.

A salsa lesson.

- What?

- Salsa?

Boy, these Chandler women.

Blair, boy, I hope you know what you're

gettin' yourself into.

- Really, Mom?

- Don't listen to Uncle Donald.

Baby, I'm so sorry you've
been worried about me

all this time.

I love you.

- I love you too, Mama.

- We're proud of you.
- Really proud.

- We love you so much.

- Thank you.

- I don't care if you ever get married.

I don't care if you ever have kids.

All that matters is that I have my baby

home for Christmas every Christmas.

Ms. Stephanie?

Yes.

- Can I say something, guys?

Marci Leanne Chandler Jewel.

I'm pretty sure I've
loved you my whole life,

and I want to love you
for the rest of my life.

Marci, will you marry me?

- Yes, I'll marry you.

- Before y'all get to kissin',
let me get the mistletoe.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I do not need a mistletoe for this, bub.

- Okay, everybody.

Everybody, how about a
round of Christmas carols?

- Yes!
- Okay, okay.

♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪

♪ And a happy new year ♪