Married to the Mob (1988) - full transcript

- He's gonna miss his train, Frank.
- Tommy, don't worry, he'll be here.

I'm sorry you couldn't come over for dinner.

- What dinner?
- Last night.

Rose talked to Angie.
She said you guys were busy.

She never mentioned that to me.
We were home, watching TV.

You missed a good dinner, Frank.

I don't know what's wrong
with Angela lately. I'll talk to her.

Right on time.

I love you.

- How do these people do it every day?
- It's like fucking sardines.

I tell you what, Angela.
It all boils down to good follicles.



You've been blessed. One head in a million.

I ran into her at Foodtown.

- I invited her over for dinner.
- Yeah?

But Angela says they're busy.

Then, this morning,
Tommy was talking to Frankie.

- Turns out they were home last night.
- Stop.

Frankie didn't know about it.
She never told her own husband.

Who does she think she is?

Mrs. D, you don't like it?

No, it's not the cut.

Thanks, Ray.

- Connie.
- Hey, doll. How are you?

Look at you. A redhead. You look gorgeous.

- Angela. How are you doing, kiddo?
- Okay. How you doing?



You know me. Always looking for action.

- You look terrific.
- Thanks.

- Frank better keep an eye on you.
- Yeah, right.

You coming to the card game tonight?
We haven't seen you in an age.

I gotta help Joey with his homework.
He's having trouble in school.

Of course he is.
He hangs out with Tony Junior.

These boys will never be Einstein.
Come over tonight.

I really can't. I gotta go. I'm sorry.

Have a great time.
It was great to see you guys.

Bye. Take care.

That bitch. She thinks her shit don't stink.

I have three cards.
One red, you can take all my bread,

and two blacks, that'll set you back.

Watch it, chase it, see where I place it.

- It's right here.
- It's right here. That's it.

Give me five and you win ten.

- Gee, I could've sworn, girls.
- Tough luck. Try again.

Hey. What's going on here?

- Hi, Mrs. de Marco.
- Hi, Tara.

Nothing, Ma. We're just playing.

- You playing for money?
- No, we were just playing for fun. Right?

I want all of you to go home.
Joseph Francis, I'll talk to you inside.

I'll be right in, Ma.

- Hi, hon.
- Hey, babe.

- Going out tonight?
- Yeah, Tony called a meeting.

- You playing cards at Connie's tonight?
- No. What are you lookin' for?

Why not?

I don't feel like it.

When the boss's wife
asks you to play cards, you go.

I don't have to jump every time
Connie or Tony snaps their fingers.

What's wrong with you lately?
All the other guys' wives get along.

Tommy and Rose invite us to dinner.
You lie to them, you don't tell me about it.

They were your friends.
Now you can't stand them?

How am I supposed to get ahead
in the family?

The same way you always have.
Lie, cheat, steal, kill.

It's very funny. You're a comedian now?

I should get you on fucking Star Search.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Hey, hey, hey, come here.

I do not want you taking money
from those kids anymore.

It was Tony Junior's idea.

Does that make it okay?
You can't think for yourself?

- You playing three-card monte again?
- Yeah.

- How much did you take from them?
- Twelve bucks.

- Not bad.
- Thanks, Dad.

Thanks, Frankie.
I'm trying to teach him something.

He's only a kid.

- What are you looking for?
- Where is my revolver?

Jesus!

- Here, Dad.
- Give me that.

- Go to your room.
- Come on, Lucky.

Thank you, Joey.

That's great, Frank. That's really great.

It's not loaded.

- I can't believe it.
- I'll keep it locked up from now on.

It's not just the gun. It's everything.

It's this whole life.

Your life is so bad?

You have a beautiful house, plenty of
money, a great kid, a loving husband.

- What more do you want?
- I want a normal life.

I'm sick of the gambling, the guns,

bailing you outta jail, never knowing
when or if you're gonna come home.

Look at this place. Everything we wear
and everything we own fell off a truck.

Take it easy, baby.
I don't think you're making much sense.

When I look at this house,
I see beautiful furnishings.

In Joey's room
I see all the things we give him.

Things you and I never had
when we was growing up.

Don't you get it?
Everything has blood on it.

I don't have to listen to this garbage.

- Neither do I.
- Oh no?

- What are you gonna do about it?
- I want a divorce.

Listen to Dr. de Marco
for just a second, darling.

You go upstairs, you take a Valium.

You lie down, relax. You'll feel a lot better.

I love you.

What have we here?

It's Nick "The Snake" and
his two nephews, Al "The Worm" and...

Don't tell me. Vinnie "The Slug."

Your common, garden-variety hoodlums.

And speak of the devil,
"Cucumber" Frank de Marco.

Bang.

The gang's all here, Mike.

Everyone except Tony "The Tiger" Russo.

Here's Tony

"The Tiger"

And I don't mind telling you folks

From this mike here

It's Tony, hey, Tony, no phony baloney

"The Tiger"

He's the paisan the sun always shines on

He's Tony "The Tiger"

- Excuse me, Mr. Russo.
- Sure.

- John.
- Tony.

- The Château Lichine is coming in.
- It's pre-Chernobyl, I hope.

- Hey, fellas!
- Tony!

Butch. Nick.

Tom? Some glasses and an order for you.

- Tony.
- Frank.

- How's Angela and the kid?
- They're both very good. Thank you.

- I've got something for you here.
- Thanks very much, Tony.

That was a great job you did on the train.

It was a beautiful ride, Tony.

Take care of the guys upstairs.
I'll be right up.

Table for two, gentlemen?
This way, please.

- My God. It's beautiful.
- You're beautiful.

I'll have to do something
very special for you tonight.

You twisted my arm. The Fantasia.

- Our old room. 17.
- Room 17.

- Twelve past ten.
- Ten past.

Yeah, ten past twelve.

2:00 am. Quitting time.

But you did miss a good dinner.

- You know Rosie's Chicken Francese?
- With the ricotta?

Shells with sauce. Cannoli afterwards.

- Are you staying?
- I'm gonna take a bath before I go.

Is something wrong?

Yeah.

You shouldn't smoke in bed.
You're gonna start a fire.

It's a water bed.

I gotta go. Gimme a kiss.

- Thanks.
- Forget about it.

You go straight home now, lollipop.

Frank?

You're early.

Put this over there.

Karen?

Karen?

Karen.

Save me some soap,

because I'm feeling extra dirty tonight.

I had no idea
you was putting the stones to Karen.

It's checkout time, Frankie.

Tony, this blows my mind.

- I loved you like a father.
- You disappointed the shit out of me.

Go away.

Downey.

I'm there.

- Special Agent Downey, FBI.
- Let him by.

Yesterday "The Fat Man" buys a one-way
ticket on the Long Island train.

19 hours later,
"Cucumber" Frank de Marco takes a bath.

I'm no mathematician
but it looks like payback time.

Excuse me, gentlemen. The place is clean.

I don't know, sir. Doesn't add up.

Here you go.

You got a better make on it?

The late Karen Lutnick
was Tony Russo's girlfriend.

No shit.

Maybe Frank was indiscreet. They don't
call him "The Cucumber" for nothing.

Karen was a real dish.

Tony finds out Frank's eating off his plate.

Tony's got a temper.
A man gets angry, he gets sloppy.

Maybe "The Tiger" did it himself.

- That's murder one.
- Two counts. We could hang him.

Put me back on 24-hour surveillance.

I'll nail Tony for the murders
of Frank and Karen.

Let us pray for our brother
to our Lord Jesus Christ, who said,

"I am the resurrection and the life.

"The man who believes in me
will live even if he dies."

Frank. My baby.

Such a good boy.

We commend our brother to the Lord.

May the Lord receive him into his peace

and raise up his body
on the last day. Amen.

Frank. I'm coming with you.

Mamma, no. Mamma!

They found them in the tub, naked.

- What goes around comes around.
- Here she comes.

- You don't have to clean up.
- Angela, just be quiet.

- Thanks, you guys. I appreciate this.
- What are friends for?

And we are your friends,
whether you like it or not.

I'm gonna go check on my mother-in-law.

Poor kid. She's been through a lot.

- You liar.
- No, it's true.

- Liar!
- No, it's true!

Give him a shot.

The two of you knock it off.

Stop this fight. What is this?

Tony, get off. Get up.

Get in the house. Hurry up.

- You all right?
- My nose is bleeding.

Let me see that.

That's nothing.

Are you okay?

You two stay away from each other today.

Thank you so much, Tony.
Thank you so much.

So, how are you holding up?

I don't know.

I'm okay. I'm okay. Yeah.

Now, look. I wanna reassure you, Angela.

You're not gonna be alone.
I'm gonna take care of you.

- I really appreciate that. I really do. But...
- Angela...

I wanna help you.

You're so sweet.

Thanks.

Oh, Angela.

Holy shit, the grieving widow.

Keep your hands off me.

Bingo.

Ma, what are we gonna do now?

I don't know, hon.

I just don't know.

- Hi, Rose.
- Hi, Angela.

- Angela!
- Connie.

Weight Watchers?

You worried about your figure?

- Some of us are.
- Cute.

Joan Rivers Junior.

You know, Angela,
sometimes when a girl gets single,

she thinks of going out
with other girls' guys.

I am not interested in Tony.

Everybody is interested in Tony.

You better call it off, because
if I ever catch you two together...

Just forget about it.

Then keep Tony on a leash.
You'll find one in aisle 5.

While I'm there, I'll pick you up a flea collar.

Watch your ass.

- Spiced or regular?
- Spiced.

Coming right up.

Die! Die, earthling.

- Where did you get that?
- Uncle Tony gave it to me.

- Uncle Tony?
- He gave me this, too. A $100 bill.

- He bought some stuff for you, too.
- Oh, yeah?

Joey, stop it.

What's the matter?

Tony is not your uncle. He's not a relative.

I don't want you
taking presents from him anymore.

Can I keep the Laser Tag stuff?

No. Sorry.

- Run upstairs and do your homework.
- Okay.

"Because I care."

- Your generosity is overwhelming.
- Sure, sure.

Here. The pink slip to the car, and
the address where to pick it up tonight.

God bless you.

Forget about it.

After tonight, lose that address.

- Ready, big guy?
- Let's go, Mom.

Okay. Here we go.

- Who's the bimbo?
- Angela de Marco.

The former Miss Angela Maria Gianelli.

Daughter of Dominick and Catherine,
both deceased.

Mother of Joseph Francis, age seven.

Subject graduated
Bayside High School, Queens, 1978.

Attended one semester
at Robert René Beauty Academy.

College education, none.

- Favorite vegetable?
- Cucumber.

- Favorite animal?
- Tiger.

What? "Cucumber" Frank de Marco's
widow is screwing Tony Russo?

- That's what Tony's wife thinks.
- How does Connie fit in?

From my observation, Connie is
the one person who Tony actively fears.

Who knows why,
but it borders on the pathological.

Subject married
Francis Aloysius de Marco, May 15, 1979.

The key is Angela de Marco.

I say we tap her phone, her house,
her bedroom. Stake her out.

Scope her, tail her, coming and going,

and we catch Tony "The Tiger"
with his pants down.

Not bad, Downey. Get the bitch.

- Why is she stopping here, Ed?
- I don't know.

Go on in.

Come on.

We can't live here.

I told you this is all we can afford
right now.

Things are gonna be tough for a while.

I'll get a good job. We'll save
some money and find a nicer place.

We'll lead a life we can be proud of.
That's what matters.

Okay, but this place really sucks.

I know. Let's go down and unload the car.

What's that thing
in the middle of that room?

A bathtub.

- Why is it in the kitchen?
- I'll tell you later.

- Blow them out.
- Make a wish.

I got a wish.

Carlo, the door.

Honey, cut the cake. I'll be right back.

Where did she go?

Tony, you wouldn't believe it.

She moved into some shithole on
the Lower East Side. Here's the address.

- What the hell's she doing there?
- Beats me.

It's in a hell of a place.
I wouldn't have a dog live there.

- It's falling apart.
- It's that bad.

It's a dangerous neighborhood.

Did you remember
that orange notebook on the couch?

- Ma, I wanna go in that way.
- I don't think... Okay.

Mom, don't worry about me.

I'm gonna pick you up right here at 3:00.

Good luck.

- Be good.
- Be good.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

This is my stop.

- Can I help you?
- I'm not sure you're the person to talk to,

but I'm here about your advertisement
about the cosmetics position.

Oh, yes. I'm sorry.
They already hired somebody.

You've got to get here really early.

- Hello, sweetie. How are you today?
- I can't find a job.

Go to Chicken Lickin' next door.
They got a sign in the window.

- Right here.
- Yeah?

- Thank you.
- All right.

- You have a good day.
- You, too.

- Good luck.
- Thank you.

I've never worked in a restaurant.
But I'm a hard worker and I learn fast.

Good. Let's try this uniform on,
and then we'll see how things look.

Okay.

You can change in here.

For privacy.

Furthermore, I'll lock the door.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

You are a real lowlife, mister.
You know that?

Young lady, one moment. Ma'am. Please.

Give me back my uniform.

What?

Give me back my uniform.

Drop dead, dirt bag.

You tell him, honey.

Get that man another milk shake.

"Tiptoes" Mazzilli and Johnny King
got knocked off last night.

This is a shithole.

- Watch where you're...
- Sorry. Pick up his bag for him, Tommy.

I ought to be more careful.
I'm dangerous on the road.

A regular menace to society.

See you later, pal.

What a jerk.

Fucking dickhead.

It's all right. Tom. 41.

No, up.

- Are you coming out?
- No, I'm going up.

Sorry.

Could you press 5, please?

I've really got you trapped in here.
Are you sure you're okay?

I'm fine, thanks.

I found it on the street. I couldn't resist.

You probably want to strip it
before you put a finish on it.

You live here?

- Yes.
- Really? Me too.

I'm Angela de Marco.

I'm Mike Smith.

Nice to meet you.
I'm 41. What number are you?

Fifty nine.

- It's 4. It's you.
- Thanks.

- Well, I'm sorry. Nice meeting you, Mike.
- It's okay.

Yeah, there you go.

Sorry.

Guess I'll see you around.

Thanks for the tip.

Excuse me.

Glad we caught you.

How'd you guys know where I live?

The new place
needs a little bit of work, Angela.

But you fix it up right, it'll be great.

Yeah, I think so.

We got you some olive oil,
some beautiful tomatoes.

That smoked mozzarella you like,
half-a-dozen bagels.

- Even a few household items.
- You shouldn't have.

You know, Angela, we miss Frank a lot.

- And we miss you, too.
- That's right.

We're still your family. We always will be.

I gotta get going.

We'll walk you down.

Rosie wants you to come to dinner
next week. Thursday? Friday?

Any night that's good for you.

I'm so busy with the move
and getting set up and everything.

I don't even know if we'll stay here.
Why don't I call you when I'm settled?

- Sure, I understand.
- Say hi to Rose for me.

Everybody misses you so much.

We'll see you real soon, okay?

- Hello, gorgeous.
- I'm Angela.

- I'm Rita. How are you doing?
- I'm fine.

I'm looking for a job.
I saw your sign in the window.

- What can you do?
- I went to Robert René Beauty Academy.

I didn't graduate.

But I can clean,
I can answer phones, I do windows.

And I live right across the street.

And I'm willing to try anything.

Please give me a chance.

Almost there.

- You like it?
- I think so.

It's short.

- It's a haircut.
- I like it.

- I think it's short.
- It looks great.

- Thank you.
- See you tomorrow.

Thank you for the haircut, the job
and everything.

You won't be disappointed.

- I hope not. See you tomorrow.
- Thanks, Rita.

Next victim.

Note to myself.

Run a make on the black chick.

You scared me.

- I thought you lived upstairs.
- I do. I'm a plumber.

I got off on the wrong floor.
They all look the same.

Are you okay?

No. Not really.

I've got this flu.

- I ought to get to bed.
- I have some great 12-hour cold tablets.

Why don't I get them for you?

No!

This is a 24-hour bug. It's very kind of you.

You didn't notice my hair.

No, I did.

What do you think?

It's a brand-new you.

Thanks. I think.

Take care of yourself. Drink plenty of fluids.

Thanks for the advice.

Ma, can I stay over
at David's house Friday night?

- I don't know, hon.
- Please. His mother will be there.

Friday night will be okay.

A promotion in this for the both of us.

I ran into her twice today.

She seems so nice, Ed.

I just can't figure it out.
The move, this place.

The job hunt.

Hi, Mike.

Here are those 12-hour cold tablets,
just in case.

I feel better. Must have
just been a six-hour bug. But thanks.

Would you like
to go out on a date with me?

If you want to.

Just dinner or...

Yeah. Sure.

Great.

How about Friday night?

Friday night sounds great.

- Great...
- Hey, Ma!

- How'd you know where I was?
- I followed your voice.

Some detective.

Mike, this is my son Joey.

- Hi, Joey.
- Hi.

Did the cavemen kill the dinosaurs?

I don't know. It's a little before my time.

Actually, Joey,

the dinosaurs were dead millions
of years before humans showed up.

In fact, if the world were 24 hours old,

the dinosaurs would
have lived in the last hour,

and the humans would have lived
less than two seconds of that 24th hour.

You blow my mind.

- Big guy, have you started your homework?
- No.

No, I didn't think so.

You run down and start your homework.
I'll be down in a few minutes.

You're good with kids. Do you have any?
You're not married, are you?

Angela, If I were married,
would I accept a date with you?

I guess not. Neither am I.
I was, but he's dead.

- I'm sorry.
- Don't be.

I'll get outta your hair.

- So, I'll see you Friday night.
- See you there.

- About 8:00?
-8:00.

- Okay. Bye.
- Bye.

Bingo.

- Pretty wild.
- It's very nice.

This is some kind of punch.
I can't pronounce the name.

What shall we toast?

I know.

Here's to elevators.
You meet the nicest people in them.

So where to?

- I could use a little snack.
- The usual?

You read my mind. Tell the boys behind us.

- Are you hungry, boys?
- I thought you'd never ask.

Good. We're going to Burger World.

- Alka-Seltzer World.
- You don't like Burger World?

Drive up to the clown

It's a Burger World town

The fries are crispy, the shakes are creamy

The Double Continental
with cheese is dreamy

Charred, rotting flesh
ain't my idea of a good meal.

Come on, Vinnie.

Shit. Butch.

It's a Burger World town

Howdy. May I take your order?

Two Double Continental cheeseburgers,

two fries and two chocolate shakes.

- Rings.
- Oh, yeah. Rings.

Could you add on
two orders of onion rings?

You bet.

That'll be $8.20, gentlemen.

Take out for the car behind us.
Keep $5 for yourself.

Thanks very much.

- And extra ketchup.
- You got it.

That's a new clown.

- Let's get the fuck outta here.
- Don't.

The clown.

I don't care if
you have to send fucking telegrams.

A clown just tried to kill me.

I want a sit-down in Miami in 36 hours.
I want mediation.

We're gonna settle this bullshit
once and for all.

So, what are you drinking?

- What've you got?
- Not a lot.

You have a choice of Caffé Lolita,
or tequila, or crème de menthe.

Do you have a club soda?

It's in the fridge. You wanna get it?

I'll be right back.

Good night, Lucky.

- I see you found everything.
- No problem.

Why not take your coat off
and stay a while?

Sounds like a fantastic idea.

I really liked that band.
Their music is kind of strange. I like it.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

This is really good club soda.

Would you rub my feet? They're killing me.

I think I'm actually pretty good at this.

I just gotta get ahold of
one of these nerves in here...

Don't stop. That feels great.

I can't remember the last time
a man touched me below the waist.

I can't believe I said that.

Mike, I'm sorry.

- I'll just use the bathroom.
- It's right there.

- You must think I'm so crude.
- Are you kidding? It's just club soda.

Joey?

Guess who's here, Tone.

Guess who's here, babycakes. Come on.
This is your life.

- Tony.
- Tony is not here.

What a fucking dump.

- What do you want?
- Where is he. I know he's here.

- No one's here.
- What do you call these?

- Glasses?
- I'll remember you said that.

Your hair looks like shit.

- Please.
- I'm here, Tony.

You're making a big mistake.

See?

This is my neighbor Mike.
This is my friend Connie.

Whose husband are you, dorkface?

I don't know.
Whose husband are you looking for?

Mine.

- I guess I got you on the wrong night.
- Get out. And stay out of my life.

I fight for what's mine. I make no apologies.

You can call me a ball-buster,
but it's just the way I am.

Keep away from Tony.

What a grouch.

You all right?

It doesn't matter.

What the hell was I thinking?
I'm such a jerk.

I thought I could start a new life.
I gave away everything we had.

I cut all our ties to the past.
Dragged Joey away from his friends.

"Be good," look where it got us.
All for nothing.

We'll never get away from them.

The funniest part is, I wasn't even thinking
of guys, and then I meet you...

If you knew what I thought about us...

That's pretty pathetic.

Let's face it.
They're never gonna leave me alone.

The ball-buster

is Mrs. Tony Russo.

You've heard of the Russo crime family?

My husband worked for Tony.

And he was iced.

Tony's been trying to screw me ever since.

God, I hate them.

I really misjudged you.

I'm sorry.

It was nice knowing you.

- I've got some things I have to say to you.
- You do?

Goddamn it.

It's not easy to turn your life around.

Especially when your past
keeps coming back to haunt you.

What makes you so smart?

I guess I know you
better than you think I do.

We all make mistakes.

The important thing is to realize it
and to do something about it.

And to let yourself off the hook,

because everybody
deserves a second chance.

They do?

Especially someone like you.

That's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me.

Open up, Romeo.

- Who's that?
- My friend.

I gotta get to work. I'll call you later.

- Mike, is everything okay?
- Everything's fine.

Wakey, wakey. Eggs and bacie.
Let's get going.

- How long we been on the Russo case?
- Fourteen months. Next question?

- When did you last play hide the salami?
- Classified. Next?

- Utilize a fun bag?
- Back off. Classified. Next question?

Fourteen months ruined
because your sausage gets lonely.

Negative. We treed the wrong possum.
Angela's innocent.

I don't know about you anymore.

You're brain's on hold.
You're thinking with your dick.

Maybe you're burned out. Fried.
In over your head.

Maybe you need a vacation.

Maybe not.

I don't know, Downey.

I just don't know.

Three words, gentlemen. Get Tony Russo.

4:30. Tuesday. Rita.

You got it.

- Angela de Marco?
- Yeah?

FBI. You wanna come downtown with us?

- What is going on?
- Rita Harcourt?

Immigration and Naturalization.
You gotta come downtown with me.

Who do you think you are,
telling us to come downtown?

What are you doing here?

You'd better sit down.

I'm Regional Director Franklin.
This is Special Agent Benitez.

You already know Special Agent Downey.

You're FBI?

We've had you
under surveillance for some time.

Surveillance? Is that what you call it?
Surveillance for what?

- For starters, trafficking in stolen goods.
- What are you talking about?

You donated a lot of furniture
to charity. Very generous.

- Unfortunately, most of it was hot.
- Give me a break.

That's three to five years.

I also have a report from the IRS.

About undeclared income
and defrauding the government.

That's an additional 10 to 15
in a federal pen.

- Frankie always took care of the taxes.
- You signed the returns.

Then there's your husband's death.
We know who killed him.

And we know who helped.

Where did you get this?

You're in deep shit.

So is your friend. She's being deported.

She'll be under a palm tree
opening coconuts by the end of the week.

You sleazy sons of bitches.

- Unless you play ball.
- You people work like the Mob.

- There's no difference.
- There's a big difference.

The Mob is run by murdering,
lying, cheating psychopaths.

We work for the President
of the United States of America.

- Go to hell.
- Let's stop playing games, Angela.

We can have you arrested and put in jail.

You'll be declared an unfit mother,
and Joey will end up in a foster home.

- Hold it, Franklin.
- Shut up, Downey.

- You can't do that.
- Just you watch us.

The meeting is all set.
Everyone is gonna be there.

I'm having a travel agent
bring over the tickets.

I'm handling the security myself.
I don't see any problems.

That's real good, Uncle Joe.

By the way, there's a Mrs. de Marco
waiting to see you.

She's here now?

- Have her come in, Uncle Joe.
- Right.

Fellas, evaporate for five minutes.

Look what the cat dragged in.

Sit down.

It's terrible about Tommy.

First it was Frankie, and now Tommy.

How's Rosie taking it?

Rosie took a month's supply of Valium
this morning. She's at Mercy Hospital.

- I'm a little surprised you're here.
- Yeah. I know.

When I saw the newspaper this morning,

all these feelings came over me.

I just feel really lost.

And I just wanted to see you.

Get outta here.

You really scared me the day of the funeral.

You don't realize the effect
you have on a woman.

You're a very powerful guy, Tony.

Don't bullshit me.

You don't get it, do you?
Well, I didn't expect you to.

I'll see you around.

- Hold it right there.
- What?

Are you being straight with me?

No, I came all the way out here
just to pull your chain.

You know something? I almost believe you.

Here's your itinerary, Anthony.

You're going out on Eastern. 8:00 a. m.

Thank you, Uncle Joe.

Where are you going?

Miami.

- Bye, Mom.
- Love you.

Tony! Tony! Tone!

Boarding flight 17,
non-stop service to Miami. Bay 32.

That's it. We got a minute.
Let's park it here.

I'll double-check the tickets.

- I'm gonna go freshen up.
- Okay. You got time.

- Have a safe trip, miss.
- Thank you.

Leave me alone.

Holy shit. Nick!

- I'm way ahead of you, boss.
- I don't believe this.

Thank God I got here in time. Oh, baby.

- What's wrong? What's wrong?
- You forgot to say goodbye to me.

- You were asleep. I kissed you goodbye.
- You should have woken me up.

I know I've been hard on you lately,
but I had this awful dream.

And I realized I've been awfully selfish.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Eastern Airlines flight 17,
non-stop to Miami, is now boarding.

- Please forgive me, baby.
- Don't be silly.

I've got a confession to make.

The other night when you didn't
come home on time, I got suspicious.

- I'm so ashamed. I went to Angela's.
- You went over to Angela's?

I couldn't help it.
I had to see if you were with her.

Just thinking about you with that slut,
I just I went crazy. I couldn't stand it.

Tony, if I'd found you banging that broad,
I would've hunted you down like an animal.

It would have been slow and painful.

You would have begged me
for mercy, baby.

I was so far gone.

Connie, you're talking crazy.
I gotta get on the plane.

I'm so ashamed for not trusting you,
is what I'm trying to say.

Especially when I saw
the schmuck Angela was with.

- What schmuck?
- Just some schmuck.

Get on your plane.

She didn't waste any time, did she?

- Get on the plane, you maniac.
- Okay.

Tone, I'm gonna be the best wife to you.

Okay, honey. See you.

I hope that didn't shake you up
too much back there.

- No. I'm okay.
- Good.

- Champagne, sir?
- Thank you.

Here's to the mystery of life.

We have a lot to learn about each other.

Front desk. How are you, honey?

Beautiful. You have a reservation
for Mr. Anthony Russo?

This is Mrs. Russo.
I'm gonna join my husband.

I want you to move us
into the honeymoon suite.

I want champagne. I want caviar.

I want flowers.
I want the room to swim in flowers...

Excuse me, honey?

He already has the honeymoon suite?

- We have a flight in 45 minutes.
- Give me the fucking ticket, dickhead.

- Nick, check us in.
- Right.

Look. A piano bar.

- Is something wrong?
- No. Nothing's wrong.

Are you sure?

A regular menace to society.

Especially when I saw
the schmuck Angela was with.

- Hi, boss.
- Yo, boss.

Stevarino, Al. I wanna talk to you.
Angela, I'll be right with you.

- Can I get you a drink, sir?
- Club soda. Thanks.

Hello, Mama. Homeboy. Target sky bound.

Remember, look, but don't touch.
You're the eyes, we're the brains.

Don't make a move without my say-so.
You got it, Downey?

Downey?

Roger, Mama. Loud and clear.

- Pal, what are you drinking?
- Thanks, but I gotta...

You gotta what? You gotta relax.

I can see you're on your own
and you're bored. So are we.

- What's your name?
- Mike. Mike Smith.

- I'm Nick Jones. This is my nephew Al.
- Hey, how's it going, pal?

If I could buy my Uncle Nick
for what he's worth

and then sell him for what he thinks
he's worth, I'd be a billionaire.

I'll give him a beating.

Meeting's in one hour, boss.

Get New York on the phone
for me, Stevarino.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Miami.

Please remain in your seats
until we reach the terminal.

Madam, please.

Honey, forget about it.

Got something for you.

Open it up.

It's beautiful.

I thought you deserved
something real special.

So do you, Tone.

What's that? For me? You little devil.

Your hands are trembling.

I'm scared shitless.

I didn't expect this of you, Angela.

- It's magnificent.
- You like it?

Like? Are you kidding? Here, put it on.

Look at that. Look how it picks up the light.

That's not all it picks up, Tony.

Grand jury time, Tony.

Don't you go away now.

Director Franklin, Jimmy "Fisheggs"
just arrived. The gondola.

Clear, Renée.

Mr. James Roe.
The party's shaping up nicely.

Come on, Tony. Get your ass over here.

- Stevarino, I'll get it.
- Okay, boss.

Come in, fellas.

- Who's your friend?
- Meet Mike Smith.

A lonely guy from Dubuque. A great guy.

A one-man party
in search of the right crowd.

- I knew you guys had to meet.
- You did the right thing, Nick.

It's fabulous to meet you, Mr. Smith.

Great to hook up
with another party animal.

I think it's Nick and Al here
who are the real animals.

What is he up to now?

- I admire your mustache.
- Thank you very much.

- Angela?
- Yeah.

Come and meet Mike Smith from Dubuque.

Hi. I'm Mike Smith from Dubuque.

- Hello, Mr. Smith.
- It's fabulous to meet you, Angela.

- Thank you.
- It's fabulous to meet all of you.

Let's take a seat, Mike.

- Come on.
- Thanks.

- Sit down, Mr. Smith.
- Okay.

It's a wild spread you got here.
I realize you're busy. I'll...

Fellas.

Frisk him, Stevarino.

- Watch him, Nick.
- You got it, Steve.

Hold it.

Make another move
and I'll blow your brains out.

Looky here, boss. Only a lighter.

Very interesting.

You know, hon.

This is none of my business.
I don't even know what's going on here.

But I think it's getting out of hand.

Stay out of this, miss.

Check out this here.

- Who the fuck are you?
- Federal Bureau of Investigation.

You're all under arrest. If you got
about 14 hours, I'll read you the charges.

I can see the headlines
in the newspaper in the morning.

"FBI hothead shoots love-nest girlfriend."

- Hey, what you doing? What the...
- Freeze.

If anyone moves, I'll blow his head off.

Go ahead.

- I'm not kidding, Tony.
- It's all over, Tony.

The place is crawling with cops.
FBI, DEA, Treasury.

Angela.

- What?
- Be careful.

Very, very careful.

- Don't.
- Okay. Okay. Okay.

Angela, you're a very exciting woman.

For some crazy reason, I think
I'd rather kill myself than hurt you.

But suicide's out of the question.

Just like you hurt my husband, Tony? Just
like you killed Frankie, you lying bastard?

Boss, is that bitch telling
the truth or is she lying?

- Chill out.
- That's right, buddies.

Tell 'em, Tony. Say it loud and clear
so we can get it on tape.

The whole place is bugged.
The chairs, the lamps, the paintings.

Any second, 50 agents
are gonna pound at that door.

Bullshit.

That's it, Tony.
You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say
can and will be used against you.

Shut the fuck up, fuzzball.

- I'll get it.
- You have the right to an attorney.

Angela, stay...
Get your dicks out of your hands, guys.

If you cannot afford an attorney
one will be appointed to you.

Wait a minute,
Mike, it's your old buddy Al. Remember?

- Connie!
- Connie!

Oh, my God! Tony, it's Connie.

Why are you here, dorkface?

I came to tell your husband
to keep his hands off of my woman.

Connie, don't listen to him. He's a cop.
And Angela is working with him.

Honeymoon suite.

Connie, she gave me a ring, see?

She gave me a ring,
but it's got a bug in it, Connie. A bug!

Can you believe that? How about that shit?

I got nothing to live for anymore, Tony.

Connie, of course you do.
That's ridiculous. Think of Tony Junior.

All your credit cards, honey. You got a...

All right, let's think.
You got your game shows, honey.

You got Wheel of Fame.

Connie, that was close.

Watch your back, Uncle Nick.

Take him out.

Gee, Mike. You didn't have to do that.

Now, Connie.
Connie, honey, I'm gonna change.

You certainly will.

FBI. Drop it, Connie.

- Hold it, Tony.
- Screw you.

Tony Russo,

you're under arrest for the murders
of Frank de Marco and Karen Lutnick.

- You'll never make it stick.
- Sure, Tony.

- Hey, Tony, what did you tell them in there?
- I'm sorry. I can't talk about it.

- How are the Feds treating you, Tony?
- Not bad. I get to watch all my soaps.

The food must be good.
You put on some weight.

It's probably the bulletproof vest.

Bullet proof vest, are you afraid
someone will knock you off, Tony?

Afraid? With these gorillas around me?

Come on, I feel safer than a virgin
at a eunuch convention.

Say, Robert. Would you mind
if I stepped in and took a leak?

- Go ahead.
- You're a gentleman.

The fries are crispy, the shakes are creamy

The Double Continental
with cheese is dreamy

It's a Burger World town

Hiya, Tone.

Connie?

Kiss it goodbye.

No!

Holy Mary, mother of God.

Oh, shit!

- Another bad dream?
- Yeah. I guess you could say that.

Time to get up anyway.

Today's your big day.
Can't keep the grand jury waiting.

Angela, you are an artist.

- Great. You like it?
- I love it.

Here. You keep the change.

Next victim.

- Hello, Gorgeous.
- Hello, gorgeous.

- It's you.
- Please don't hang up again.

Angela, look out the window.
Look across the street.

Give me a break. What do you want?

A haircut?

- Boy, you don't give up too easy, Mike.
- Not when it come to you, Angela.

Sure. I suppose I could squeeze you in.

I see your arm is healed. Lay back.

You know, Angela, I've been thinking.

There you go, working without tools again.

I've been thinking, too.

You know, I fell for you like a ton of bricks.

I bared my soul to you.
I trusted you. You lied to me.

Then, you almost had me killed.

But...

I can't stop thinking about

what you said to me
that night at my apartment.

Maybe everyone does
deserve a second chance.

Even you.

You want one?

Yeah. I want one.

I'll think about it.