Marital Problems (2017) - full transcript
In the midst of facing eviction, Ian Roberts' final days at home become invaded by Clarke, an unscrupulous gardener who reconciles the events of his failed married life in attempt to bring closure to Ian's past engagement that failed to go the distance.
Fuck.
All right, all right, I'm coming.
Ian Roberts?
Who the hell are you?
I'm McManus, the Repair Man.
Repair man?
I don't need a-
Look, you've obviously got the wrong house.
It's too early in the
morning for this shit.
Your landlord's Devon Meyers, right?
Mayers, yes, Devon Mayers.
What about him?
Well, he sent me here to do
maintenance on the property.
Maintenance?
No, no, maintenance.
If I needed maintenance don't you think
I'd be calling Devon myself?
Or at least I would have been notified.
Well, maybe you need
to check your letter box.
What business is that of yours, buddy?
All I know is you haven't been paying rent
and you're getting evicted.
So, are you gonna let me in
or am I gonna have to call Devon?
Look, I don't fuckin' appreciate hearing
all this from a handyman, okay.
I'm gonna get Devon on the phone myself
and I'm gonna give him a piece of my own.
Fucking handyman.
Fucking hell!
Bloody hell.
Haven't paid the phone bill, either, huh?
It wasn't supposed to be like this, okay?
I lost my job at the dealership
and on top of that someone's stolen all
of my gardening tools.
So uh, you can't pay
your rent or your bills
and you're worried about gardening tools?
At least the lawn mower didn't get stolen.
No, no, no.
The lawn mower did get stolen.
That was a gift from... someone.
Well, who's cutting your grass?
I haven't kept on track with the lawn.
The loon probably still
mows it out of spite
for all I know.
Where?
Want a lighter?
Yeah.
Thanks.
Who gave you this?
It was a gift, anniversary
present, actually.
But um, yeah we're not together anymore.
Ah, I suppose I should
let you in, shouldn't I?
All right, I'll grab my gear.
I'll go sort out the mail.
Um, what the fuck's this?
What?
That, beer.
It's a little some for later.
I wouldn't be the one to judge.
You've got a bottle.
Afterwards I want you gone, okay?
This isn't a fancy resort.
You do what you have to do
and then you can fuck off.
We'll see.
Hey.
Ugh.
Aye!
I wouldn't forget this one, Ian.
I know you've seen better days
and to be honest, you look like shit.
No I don't.
But I wouldn't want to put
another one on top of this one.
For future reference.
If you know what I'm saying.
Huh, huh?
This is junk.
It's one of those gardening adverts.
With a price.
My garden's fine.
Who the hell are you?
I've been mowing your lawn for you, Ian.
And what this sheet of paper is,
is me billing you, all right?
But, I never hired you to mow my lawn.
Don't come here expecting
a fee for doing something
without my permission.
Look, I don't want this to get ugly.
So why don't you go
inside, fetch me some cash,
and in the meantime I'll be out taking
some Z's in the trailer.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
What do you think you're doing, huh?
God damn it, get off me. No, no, no!
- Ow.
- God damn it.
Prick!
Hey, hey, chill the fuck out.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Don't play games with me.
This is my weeding spade.
What have you done with my mower, huh?
If you're not gonna help me I'm
sure the police will assist.
Call the fucking cops.
You don't know who I am.
Oh, I think I do.
Reggie King Lawn Service.
It's printed on the flier.
Check fuckin' mate.
That's all bullshit.
What?
It's a fake flier.
I mow more than one lawn, you know.
I try my best to avoid any lawsuits.
Now, hand over the spade, Ian.
Hey, no.
Oh!
Those are my lucky poker shades, you prick.
How do you know my name?
Have you been going through all of my mail?
Tell me who you are or I'm sure the police
will give me an idea, huh.
Let him go, Ian.
His name's Clarke.
McManus, what the fuck are you?
McManus?
Hey-Hey-Hey, haven't seen you in ages, man.
How ya going, buddy?
Hey!
Long time, no see.
Yeah man, yeah, it's good to see you.
Look at this, what's this?
You can't be fucking serious.
What?
You two know each other?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh.
- What?
- Oh no, no, no, I get it.
You two are in this together, aren't you?
Huh, couple of scammers scoping
my personal information
looking to make a quick buck.
Yeah, I'm onto you.
Relax mate, we used to work together.
He was an apprentice of mine.
Yeah, damn sight good one, too.
Don't take another step closer
or I will stab you, huh?
- Do what he says.
- I mean it!
Ow.
Drop the spade.
All right!
God, ow, ow, ow.
You carrying on like the
crazy bastard Clarke is.
You'll break my arm.
Where is Clarke?
Come on, inside.
Come on, man.
What are you doing?
This is my house!
Come on!
Come on, man. Come on.
Man.
Settle down, all right?
Ow.
Aw, Ian you dope.
You mess with McManus,
that's what you'll get.
I was his apprentice.
I had to put up with
his bullshit for years.
I couldn't even have a wank in the end,
my hands were that blistered.
It was fucked.
This can't be happening.
You two need to leave.
Oh, come on.
We're your friends, huh?
Take it from a guy who
lives in your garden shed.
My garden shed?
You're the reason I keep
finding used condoms in there.
Blistered hands, buddy.
Ugh.
Oh Clarkey boy.
How are ya, mate?
- Hey!
- Beer?
Good man, yeah-yeah-yeah.
It's me own home brew.
Far out.
I haven't seen you since,
when you and your old lady tied the knot.
Oh yeah.
How is Janey, by the way?
Oh, she's not too happy
with me at the moment.
- You want one?
- No.
She bloody, she kicked me out.
- What?
- Yeah, yeah.
I fucked up a lot of things for us, so.
Now I'm just cash working my
way out of debt, you know.
By mowing mine and the neighbor's lawns
without our permission.
Not to mention using my garden shed
as your own personal refuge.
Hey, I'm just borrowing the place
until I get on my feet.
Where you should be is jail.
You fucking disgrace of a human being.
Hey, fuck you. Why don't you take a look
in the mirror you fucking
jobless, piss head.
I want you out of my house, now.
No.
McManus asked me to stay for a few beers
so that's what I'll be doing.
McManus, this is my fucking house.
McManus is here to do a job.
Neither of you have the
right to be doing this.
Now, get out!
McManus, what are you
doing working for this clown?
Clearly he doesn't appreciate
the effort we go to,
to keep his lawns and house
in such great condition.
No, no, no mate.
You got it wrong.
I don't work for this bozo.
I work for the landlord.
He's getting evicted.
Oh man, you're in the same position as me.
No, no I'm not.
Hey, don't worry, don't worry.
Look, there's plenty of
room out in the garden shed.
Might wanna wear a T-shirt, though.
That hessian sack gets real itchy.
Oh, come on.
Sit down, you're breaking my
heart hearing all of this.
Might as well vent it
out over a few cold ones.
Come on.
Yeah, well, if they were cold.
I guess I won't ask how life's treatin' ya.
It wasn't always like this, was it?
There was a time I had everything.
You ever look back and
realize that you're at
the peak of your life and
then somewhere, somehow
things just went downhill and they took
a turn for the worse?
That was me.
I had everything going for me.
- Come on.
- I had a good job.
And then there was Emily,
my high school sweetheart.
Aw.
We were gonna get married
after the graduation.
Ha, you dodged a fucking
bullet and a half there, mate.
I'm 24.
Hey! You're 26.
24, 26, suck a dick.
Whatever, all right.
Look, the point is I was married
for 18 months, it was horrible.
It was like planting my face
onto a fucking cheese grater.
It's a good analogy.
I pushed through, so to speak.
I don't know how anyone could
put up being married to you.
You're so unstable and, ugh.
Hey, hey, hey, all right.
I may be unstable financially,
but not emotionally.
I think that's the difference
between me and you, Ian.
You fall so deep when it goes all wrong.
Actually, you remind me of my Janey.
She needed someone like me
and not like you.
Jane was Emily's middle name.
What the fuck happened with that, huh?
The bitch took it all from you, didn't she?
And that's why you're in this rut.
Time's up.
You two should get back to work.
Hey, I've made the same
mistakes that led me here.
Same as you, except I went one step further
and I got married.
I lived the life that
you didn't get to live.
I could have had that.
Why didn't you?
Does it matter? I don't feel like I need
to explain myself to you.
Ah Ian, Clarke's just trying
to tell you his story, all right?
McManus, for the last time,
quit drinking and do your job.
Then when both of you are done,
you can get outta my house.
Sound good?
Is this how you treat all your guests?
You're not exactly the best host.
Is this what happened to what's her name?
She ran away once you told her to fuck off?
Hey, I never treated her bad.
Get up, get up.
Get up!
You're crazy.
Get up, get up.
I was good to her.
I gave her everything and I still would.
You don't know what you're talking about.
I'm talking about you, Ian.
Yeah?
If it's not her, then where'd all
this anger come from, huh?
Why are you doing this to me?
Clearly you failed to
make your marriage happen
but why do you have to remind me
that I failed to make mine happen as well?
I'm just trying to help.
If my story can prove anything,
it's that life isn't that bad.
Look at me, huh?
I'm living in a garden shed.
Your garden shed.
I'm sending out invoices hoping someone
will appreciate the incentive.
Everything is back where I left her.
Why don't you fucking go back to her?
Tell her you're sorry.
Live happily ever after
and all that bullshit.
Because it's not that simple, Ian,
not after what I did.
Well it should be simple enough
for her to forgive you.
What are you trying to prove?
That this somehow connects to the fact
that I've got no job, that I'm broke,
and on the verge of being homeless?
I look at you and I think
it's all just circumstantial.
- But for me it wasn't!
- What are you trying to say?
Why did she leave you, Clarke?
Because I haven't got the slightest clue
why Emily left me.
You asked how I got into this rut.
I drove myself into it and I can't move on
because everyday I wonder
why and what did I do.
I had so much planned for us.
It'll be all right, mate.
Hey, hey look.
Maybe you just didn't fuck her right.
That's it, fuck you man!
Fuck you!
Come on, Clarke.
Let, let go of me.
Fuck you, man!
Fuck you.
Come on, let me go.
- Come on.
- Fuck, don't come back here.
Stay there, all right.
Right, I need to get your squiggle here.
Thank you.
Look, for what it's worth I feel really bad
for what you're going through, all right.
And I know Clarke's got a funny way
of showing it, but he does care about you.
You should listen to what he has to say.
So you'll just take your things and go now?
Please.
Thank you.
McManus.
What?
Clarke's story.
Yeah?
Will it prove anything?
You'll see.
Where'd this guy even come from?
Day's coming to an end.
So why not end it on the perfect note.
McManus, what the fuck?
Breaking and entering.
Well, you didn't answer the door.
I knocked twice.
That's my front door.
Well, not for very much longer.
Look, I'm not waiting
around outside all day.
I've got a fucking job to do and a case
of beer waiting for me.
You've done nothing but drink.
Hopefully today you get this shit started
so you can get out of my hair.
At least he's doing his job.
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you.
The landlord's found someone to move in
so you're gonna have to
get all your shit together
and move it out, otherwise I'm
putting it out on the street.
Sorry, mate.
Fine.
Knock, knock.
Clarke.
I was beginning to think
that was you I was hearing.
Then again, I can't imagine
you committing to anything.
Especially on a Saturday morning.
Yeah, you heard right.
I was working but I thought, hey,
why not let the lawn mower
do the rest of the work.
The mower.
My mower?
Yeah.
Oh shit!
What the fuck.
That was one fine gift she gave you.
I never told you that
was a gift from her, did I?
McManus may have mentioned something.
Oh, it doesn't matter anyway.
I never liked the bloody thing.
I only kept it for her.
Well, whatever it was, it's gone now.
And good riddance.
I hope the neighbors don't call the police.
I hope the neighbors don't call the police.
Fuck you, man.
Relax, they can't prove anything, huh?
It's like 8:00 in the morning.
It's not like you've got a job to go to.
That's never stopped you.
Look, I can't go back to work now.
And you're always waking
up half pissed anyway.
What the fuck difference does it make?
Look, maybe I just don't wanna have
a drink with you, Clarke.
Oh, why not?
Let's celebrate.
Turning over a new leaf.
Celebrating what? It's not
like things are gonna get
any better from here on out.
Oh, you can't say that, Ian, huh?
Life's full of surprises.
Look at how we met.
Look at how it all came together.
What does?
Life, and all the
bullshit that comes with it.
No matter how bad you have it, Ian,
there's always someone
who's got it worse than you.
And I found that with you.
Huh?
Why do you take pleasure in reminding me
how shit my life is?
Because when I saw you yesterday I thought,
this guy's gonna make me
feel like a million bucks.
And what, now you're aiming for a billion?
No, I just wanna give
you some of my millions.
It's a good start, I guess.
I like you, Ian.
You're like an angel to my devil.
That's not an understatement at all.
Everybody dances with the
devil from time to time, Ian.
What Janey didn't know was the devil
was staring right back at her.
Oh, bloody hell.
Why are you telling me this?
'Cause, we were the two
devils that fell apart.
I wanna know how the two angels fell apart.
I wanna know how the resentment ties in.
Look, clearly you resented Janey
but I didn't have that for Emily.
Really?
Ian, she walked out on you.
There must have been some resentment.
Tell me what happened.
Give me an understanding of
why she did what she did.
I really don't know, Clarke.
There must have been something.
Did you force yourself onto her?
Did you fuck one of her pets?
I never did anything like that.
Come on, relationships aren't always
what they're cracked up to be.
Aw, in relationships, Ian,
you just do those things that
just drive each other mad, right?
Yeah.
Those little things.
Was there something like that?
I guess she hated how closed minded I was.
See, there we go.
And you're a bitch.
I'm not anybody's bitch.
Not like Janey was to you.
Yeah, that was Janey's problem.
She never backed down.
She was a bitch.
Was that how Emily was to you?
No, no Emily was lovely.
She only told me what
to do because she cared.
Whipped.
Smoking, Clarke.
It was the smoking as well.
She hated it.
She couldn't stand it.
I tried to hide it from her, but well,
McManus' lighter reminded me.
Reminded you of what?
The very last time.
Did she see the ring?
No, not at first, anyway.
I kicked it under the seat
while I unlocked the door.
And what, you were
planning to ask her that day?
No, no, no.
All right, you're gonna laugh
but I've got this stupid little plan.
There's this lookout point with a view
of the entire town.
I'd take Emily up there,
we'd lie on the windshield of my car
and we'd just talk 'til late.
Man, it was the perfect place.
It was our place.
Oh, how romantic.
I'm all broken up.
But when I did ask her
she said she couldn't.
She believed her father wouldn't approve.
I guess he thought that a guy
who cleans trucks for a
living wouldn't be able
to provide a stable
future for his daughter.
Yeah, it wouldn't seem so.
But Emily knew I always
had good intentions.
That's why I pushed for the promotion.
I had to change her father's opinion of me.
And did it?
No, no it didn't.
It killed her.
When she told her father about the proposal
and then he kicked her out of home.
We went on to share a
small one bedroom apartment
but things weren't the same.
She started to change.
Hey, do wanna talk about anything?
Only you, my love.
How was your day?
From the type of activity
you were describing,
I'd say these two would probably be.
This particular model does.
Whoa, Whoa.
Sir, sir.
I'm afraid you can't.
They've had issues-
Leather interior, don't even
have to get out of the truck.
Controls are inside.
You just push the button, bam.
Six year price there.
These are the only ones made for this.
Driving. Activity
Completely unscratched.
Right ahead.
Ian.
Mate.
You uh, don't have any
plans tonight, do you?
Well, I was gonna go see
a movie with the missus.
Hm, that's great.
Look, I have a ton of paper work
that needs to be done by the morning
and I, I, me, mate me.
I have left it on your desk.
But Mr. Schmidt, I've
already made plans.
Please.
Mate.
Ian.
Sir.
Mate, who gave you this job?
You, You did.
And when I gave you this job, come on mate,
what did you say?
You were like.
- That you.
- I could handle.
- Handle.
- The extra workload
Extra workload, yes!
We've discussed this, Ian.
All right, awesome, good boy.
Nah, ah.
- I'll do double-
- Nah, shh.
Come on mate, just need you to do the work.
I'm counting on you.
Don't disappoint me, all right?
I won't.
You're a good lad.
All right. Watching you.
No, no, you don't have time for water.
I just want you to start working.
- This needs to get done.
- Right, right on, sir.
By morning.
- Absolutely.
- All right? I'm watching you.
Yeah.
Sweet.
You have an eye everywhere, I remember.
We're buddies, we're bros, right?
Best bros.
You're my bestie.
- All right.
- Yeah. Besties for life.
Don't work too hard, okay?
Course not.
I'm watching you. Watching.
All right.
Boys. Here we go.
The Strippers.
All right!
Kept a picture of her to remind myself
to push through.
All I could think was moving
into a bigger, better place.
We'd get married and
live happily ever after.
Why did you word it like that?
Because after all of that bullshit,
I don't get what I wanted in the end.
Cutbacks were made at the dealership.
Schmidt was spending too much
money at the strip joints.
I vowed to stay on, but I
knew that would mean working
almost every day.
Nothing wrong with working everyday.
Yeah, not when you can't
see the one you love.
Devon Mayers.
Hi, can I help you?
Ian Roberts, we spoke over the phone.
Ian, the young man from the dealership?
Yeah, that's it.
Look, sorry to keep you waiting I just got
a little lost on the way, you know.
I'm actually off to see a client
but I can show you the inside
while I've got you here.
Yeah, great, lead the way.
Cool, come on in.
Fantastic.
It's a real beauty.
Yeah.
As you can see it's furnished.
We've got the master bedroom, bathroom,
laundry, kitchen, of
course the living room.
It's not quite the Taj Mahal
but as prices in the northern
suburbs go, it certainly fits
the price quite well.
No, it's nice, Emily will love it.
Oh, your partner will be moving with you?
Fiance, actually.
Oh, you'll need to maintain the garden.
Ah, that won't be a problem.
The missus will get me onto that.
You know, she's always wanted to move into
a place with a garden.
It'll be nice to get out of that small,
tiny little apartment.
Sorry, if you don't mind me asking.
Go ahead.
How old are you and your fiance?
You just, you look very young
for someone planning to be married.
I recently turned 21 and she's 18.
She just graduated from
high school, actually.
And she is looking to
further in her studies?
Eh, she's one of those creative types.
So, I'm guessing so.
Well um, sorry I'll show
you the rest of the place.
Yeah.
Sweetie, I'm home.
The rain looks like it's gonna
come down hard out there.
There is good news, though.
I found a new place and I met
with a property manager, looks great.
Plenty of space and there's even a garden.
Can finally put that
lawn mower to good use.
What'd ya reckon?
Emily?
Emily?
Emily?
Ian?
Speaking.
It's Devon Mayers.
Listen, I've reviewed your application
and you were successful.
You and your fiance can move
in whenever you're ready.
What a cold hearted bitch.
Do you still have the ring?
No, I threw it away.
And the note?
Still trying to figure it out.
Aw man, fuck that.
Women, you'll never work that out.
They're strange creatures.
And they blame us men of our ignorance.
Man, I may be crazy but at
least I can fucking rationalize.
You know?
Then why did she leave all of a sudden?
Who knows.
Maybe she wanted to play the field.
Sew her wild oats.
I don't know.
Been married once, it's just
sickening thinking about it.
Hey, tell me this.
Let's say if Emily rocked up now,
just out of some strange occurrence.
What would you say?
I'd ask her why.
Then I'd finally have closure.
She wasn't ready, Ian.
What else is left?
That's the thing, I
just don't know anymore.
The more I think about it the more
it's gonna keep grabbing ahold of me.
Oh, for fuck's sake, Ian.
Just move on.
Look, I've tried, I can't.
It's hard, man.
Hard, hard?
Your dick should be the
only thing that's hard.
You two should be out
there playing the field
rather than feeling sorry for one another.
You have no idea how
depressing it is seeing
a man being stripped of his dignity due
to someone who's not worthy of his love.
Yeah, but that's the thing.
I still love her.
Oh, Ian you'll find closure by coming
to terms with the fact
that it wasn't meant to be.
That's how I dealt with Janey.
Look at you boys.
Talking like a bunch of girls.
You don't need to hide.
It's stayed pretty clear out there.
Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
I was too busy stuck in one
of Ian's deep and meaningfuls.
Look, are you almost done?
Uh, it's going all right.
So I see you've helped
yourself to my beers.
Yeah, well I've told both of you
to finish your jobs 1,000 times, haven't I?
Hey.
We don't tell you how to do
your job, if you had one.
So don't tell us how to do ours, all right?
Besides, it's the weekend, huh?
Yeah, loosen up.
Loosen up, would ya?
Yeah, come on.
This old man's been working hard.
- Bloody hard.
- He deserves a bloody beer.
I deserve more than one beer.
Hey, don't get your fucking
G banger in a knot, all right?
Look, I was in the middle
of Ian's tragic love story.
Oh yeah, I'm sure it was real tragic.
You'll be right, mate.
You just need to harden the fuck up.
Look, forget about her,
forget about this place.
My story will be all you'll ever need
to put you back on the road to recovery.
You guys are on in five minutes.
We'll be ready.
All right guys, come on.
Everyone get your shit together.
This is our big moment to play in front
of the big heavy weights.
This is just a shit gig
in a corner pub hotel.
I'm only in it for the
fucking hot sluts out there.
Woo-ha!
Clarke there's more to being in a band
than getting your end wet.
Yeah, come on.
It's about the music, man.
No.
Fuck the music.
I mean there is over 60
drunk college sluts out there
and I'm gonna fuck 'em all!
Clarke what have I had to say about you
having too much to drink before our shows?
God damn it, we're trying to earn a label.
Fine.
You've got a fucking attitude
problem, you know that?
I think you've lost touch
with the band life, Ash.
Just do your part on guitar.
Don't say anything.
Whatever, fuck-tard.
Clarke, Clarke, Clarke, Clarke!
Woo!
Woo!
Yeah!
Yes!
Yeah!
I've been Clarke, everybody.
Clarke!
Fuck all of ya.
You suck!
Fuck off.
You see me up there, man?
I was some fucking rockstar.
I'll tell ya that, huh?
I saw you up there.
You know, if you're
anything like a rockstar
then I'm an astronaut.
At least my career will takeoff.
What the fuck is that suppose to mean?
Why is it that there's no
hussies around here, huh?
I tried to reel one in
but none of them are taking
my fucking meat hook.
You wonder why?
I mean, all the ladies
at this establishment
must think you're a prat.
What?
What the fuck does that mean?
Well, a bastard.
Fuck you.
Real smooth, dickhead.
Fucking dickhead.
Who are you calling a
fucking dickhead, huh, huh?
Fuck you.
Who the fuck writes in a bar alone, anyway?
I was writing your band review, you idiot.
At least it was a good scotch.
Fuck you, I'm Hypocrite Lesbian!
Fuck.
Hey, ready to go?
You made us a laughing stock.
It's over, you've embarrassed
us for way too long.
There was a girl.
There's always a girl.
That's all you do is chase
the pussy and not the dream.
Yeah, but like this time was different.
This time it ends, Clarke.
You're no longer with Hypocrite Lesbian.
Hey it's cool, look, I understand
if you guys don't want me inside.
I'll just chill out here outside-
That's where you belong,
garbage among garbage.
Oh, and for the record,
no girl would ever settle
for a guy like you.
We want real men with ambition.
Ugh.
Here's your fucking guitar.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What the fuck are you doing?
Shh, you're filthy, let me help.
Are you gonna kill me?
Are you the girl from the bar?
There were many girls in the bar.
What makes you think
I'm that particular one?
You were the only girl in the bar.
That's right, I was the only one left
after you got kicked out.
What the fuck were you
doing before I noticed you?
Were you drawing me?
I was sketching.
In a bar?
Where else? It's what I
need for what I'm doing.
I'm an artist.
Yeah, but in a bar you get fucked up
and you do crazy shit,
then you forget about it
so you're spared of the humiliation.
I tend to disagree.
I don't need to get drunk to be amused.
I find amusement in those who hope
to be spared of their humiliation.
They don't realize I'm
documenting their every move.
Let me show you.
Is this meant to symbolize me?
No, not exactly.
I mean, the butterfly maybe.
So you find me beautiful?
Speak for yourself.
The butterfly symbolizes its stature
over something as little as a caterpillar
but eventually the caterpillar will rise up
to it's full potential.
It's about doing what you love,
no matter what anyone thinks.
How the fuck does that symbolize me?
It doesn't.
The caterpillar symbolizes
freedom to endure its path.
And then it'll fulfill it's destiny and
the butterfly may stand high and mighty
but in the end is it the butterfly
that finds true happiness,
or the caterpillar?
The butterfly.
Very funny.
People never change.
You men are all the same.
Oh, come on.
Hold on.
Give me a chance.
Love birds.
Two people who have found happiness,
sitting on a branch about to break.
Was that your intention?
I never quite found what I
was looking for in that one.
What the fuck are you looking for, then?
I haven't quite spawned
into that butterfly just yet.
You're Clarke, right?
Your band mates were having
a bitch about you inside
so I gathered as much.
I'm Janey, if that makes
things less awkward.
Janey.
Yeah, it's a nickname my
friends prefer to call me it, so.
Hey, would you like to go for a walk down
on the beach with me and watch the sunrise?
Sure, why the fuck not.
Here, let me help you.
Easy now.
Fair enough.
Where's my guitar?
Did you take it?
So are you a local girl?
Yup, what about you?
Are you from around here?
I'm from a bit of everywhere, really.
All over the place.
I see, running from your past.
Yeah, running from some things.
I mean, we all got our own hassles.
What about you?
I'm not running.
I have big plans to stick around.
Yeah.
Hey uh.
why did you approach...
Me... in the bar?
I don't know.
I guess you looked like fun.
And the way you looked at me.
I couldn't stop thinking about it.
I've never had anybody look
at me like that before.
You seem so perfect.
Just what I've been looking for.
I need you to do something for me.
It's kind of crazy, dumb but I think
a guy like you can handle it.
Sure, what is it?
No fucking way!
Yeah.
She asked you to marry her?
Yeah, yeah, keep it down, all right.
All right, I'm not gonna listen
to this bullshit anymore.
I'm off to go get some more beer.
Nice to see the door back
on it's hinges McManus!
Suck a dick, Ian!
You could do with some of that.
Yeah, you could do with not
marrying complete strangers.
Hey, you know with all
the casual hookups going
on these days you could say
I was starting a new trend.
Yeah, but with someone you don't know?
Yeah look-
I don't know, I don't understand it.
Beggars can't be choosers, huh?
Hm.
So was it love at first sight, or what?
No, fuck no!
I don't fucking know.
It seems messed up already if you ask me.
Yeah, I did think it was a bit crazy
but I thought, hey, maybe
she's just some catholic slag
doing it for the good Lord.
Why'd you go through with it?
I don't know, man, look at me.
I'm not the most delicate
flower in the sun.
Yeah, I thought it was
crazy but I just roll
with the punches and she
was the one girl willing
to go the distance.
Hm.
So how long did it take?
What?
To get married?
Oh, yeah, it was that weekend.
Fuck off!
- Yeah.
- What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
McManus was there, he can back me up.
What, the day she asked you
or the day you got married?
The day we got married.
Whew.
Yeah, I remember, I can
vaguely remember the ceremony.
I was pretty pissed.
Gives the day the music
died a whole new meaning.
Fuck up, Ian.
Fucking fruit cake.
Oh, McManus, you dumb bastard!
Sorry, guys.
You may have avoided bashing your head
if you were wearing a seatbelt.
By the way, thanks for dressing up.
Hey, someone had to dress up.
I mean it's my fucking special day.
Well, did the driver have to dress
as some fancy chauffeur? I mean,
this car is a piece of shit
and it's breaking down on us.
First of all, at least he
took pride in his appearance.
Which you didn't.
And second of all, he's our witness, right?
Speaking of witnesses.
Have you told your parents yet?
Sure, when the time is right.
Look, all that matters is that you're here.
Hey, hey, be cool all right.
I put a deposit down for this tux.
I'm sure they have it dry
cleaned after every wear.
Well, not always.
Well, in your case I'd hope so.
Ah.
Why are you always drinking?
I'm gonna be honest with you,
every other day it's
been meaningless, right.
But today it's a celebration!
Celebrating what?
The rest of our lives, baby, huh?
Well it looks like somebody celebrated
a little too early.
What, I'm all right.
He's all right, here.
McManus, grab a glass.
Oh yeah.
Oh you beauty.
Here we go.
Woo!
Yeah.
Come on, don't be a stinge.
Cheers.
Cheers!
To the rest of our lives.
To our lives.
And this carried on for 18 months?
Yeah, six months if
you wanna get technical.
It takes about 12 months
to finalize a divorce.
Man, that was the worst
six months of my life.
Just one fucking fight after another.
What did you do?
What did I do?
It takes two to tango, sir.
So I gathered she never
cared for you, not once?
Exactly.
Janey couldn't give a fuck about me.
And I had to sit in her studio apartment
without a doorway to look through
while she went out and
made a career for herself.
Someone's gotta bring it home.
Yeah, it was all to prove a point.
It wasn't until that day, that I realized.
Hi-ya!
What's up, prick?
That's what's fucking up! I'm Clarke.
Oh fuck.
I killed Mikey.
Who the fuck's Mikey?
Michelangelo, her pet turtle.
She called it Mikey for short.
Wait, wait, so let me get this straight.
Janey had a pet turtle named Michelangelo?
Yeah, yeah that's what I just said, Ian.
Who you killed with a pair of nun-chucks?
Yes!
What the fuck?
Don't you see the irony in that?
No, she was an artist.
She named the turtle after Michelangelo
the fucking artist.
What are you getting at?
Ah!
Oh, fuck, fuck!
I knew the only way out of this
was to find a scapegoat.
And I had an idea on how to get one.
I appreciate you staying open this late.
I need the most playful,
energetic one you have.
Ah, yeah, yeah.
This one will do.
Yeah.
Are you sure, I can show
you more docile ones we have.
No, no, I'll take him.
Oi, Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
Cool it, cool it.
Monster, shut up, just shut up. Cool it!
You're fucking kidding me?
As if you left her alone with him.
Yeah well, she was lonely.
Yeah, and old.
Oh, Christ as if you'd
do something like that?
Oh, come on.
The dog was at least her age.
Bloody hell, they were a
good match for each other.
I fucking hate dogs.
Yeah?
Fucking hate dogs.
Oh, what the fuck?
What's going on here?
You left the door open again.
Again?
Something broke into Mrs. Jones' place
and attacked her and Mikey's gone too.
Voila!
Ugh, what ever it was musta
broke in here as well.
And you just slept through it all?
No, that explains it.
What the fuck else am I supposed to do?
I'm here alone all day.
Just don't, Clarke.
I don't need this from you right now.
Look, I understand why you're upset.
I'm just trying to help.
Where were you tonight, Janey?
I was working late.
I don't know why it matters.
Have you told your parents about us?
Why do you care?
Because we've been doing
this for like two months.
I don't even know why it matters, Clarke.
Its cause I'm you're fucking husband.
- That's why it fucking matters.
- I don't wanna talk about it.
I'm going to bed.
I looked in your sketch pad.
Why, Janey?
Why did you do all this, Janey?
I mean.
Clearly this marriage wasn't
an act of love, was it?
No, it was to prove that I could
do all of this despite being
married to someone like you.
I had to find a place
to lay low for awhile.
Just in case she'd send someone after me.
I needed to find a way
to pay for the damage.
Emily!
Over the next few bloody months
it was nothing but work.
Work, work, and more fucking work.
I got those fliers in
every fucking mailbox.
Fucking douche bag.
Sooner or later it became clear
that everything you went
through was because of her.
The bitch who left without an explanation.
Well.
I think that just about
sums it all up, buddy.
Heh?
That's quite a story, Clarke.
But you didn't help me find
what I was looking for.
I didn't find closure through it all.
I did say you reminded me a lot of Janey.
To be honest, I didn't know her too well.
But like you, she was
searching for something.
Something she couldn't quite grasp.
Then I came along.
I became her muse.
It really pissed me off,
why she did what she did,
but in the end I finally see why.
Well?
Well what?
Why did she?
We all do crazy things, Ian.
It's what makes us human.
At first it seems logical.
Emily leaving you.
Me marrying a complete
stranger, for instance.
But for her it was one
thing and one thing only.
And that was love.
The kind of love I couldn't give her.
The kind of love that stood
by her from the beginning.
She reflected it all through her drawing.
Yeah?
Um, sure.
I'll see you soon.
Fuck!
Fuck.
That was Devon, he's on his way here.
What do you want me to do? Should I go?
McManus will be here soon.
Do whatever you like.
It doesn't make a difference
either way, does it?
I'll be in here if you need me.
Oh okay, no problem.
McManus, the door's open.
Aw, for fuck's sake, McManus.
Fucking retard.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
God damn it, what the.
Janey?
Clarke?
What are you doing here?
What am I doing here,
what are you doing here?
How did you know I was here?
I didn't, I'm here with
the property manager.
He's just gone back to his car
and then he's gonna show me around.
- No.
- But since you're here.
- Don't come in.
- I need you to sign these.
What's this?
Divorce papers.
What? I'm not signing this shit!
You're so fucking immature.
You're the one who's fucking immature.
You're the one who wanted to get married
and then haul me around like
a fucking dog on a leash.
You should've known what
we were from the start.
Yeah, well you fucking played me!
You fucking played me!
Please, you were
everything I was looking for.
You were repugnant, everything I needed.
No, my intentions were
genuine the whole time.
- Fuck you!
- Genuine?
I remember when I told you I felt
like chicken tonight and you came home
with none other than a bottle
of Chicken Tonight sauce.
It just shows how obnoxious you really are.
What the fuck does that
have to do with anything, huh?
How you spose to blame me putting up
with all your fuckin'
artsy-fartsy bullshit!
I fucking hate you.
You ruined everything I
hoped and planned for.
Fuck you, I fucking hate you.
Fuck everything.
Emily?
Ian, this is Jane from my story.
This isn't.
No.
That's Emily.
Jane was Emily's middle...
Name.
Oh fuck.
My Jane was your Em-
Oh,
Man, this is amazing.
I've been cutting your grass
in more ways than one.
I'm gonna fucking kill you, Clarke!
- No, Ah!
- Fucking, You piece of shit!
Ow, Ow.
No, Ian, Ian, no stop it!
Emily, sweetie, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to. You know
I would never mean to.
Just don't touch me!
I'm sorry.
It's okay, it's okay, just why?
I only did it because I loved you.
Then why him instead of me?
I had to find a way to show my father.
Hey.
Hey, honey.
How was school?
Good.
You taste nice, very minty.
Mm.
Have you been smoking again?
No, no, you know I finished
my last pack yesterday.
Ah, I see. Then what
were you trying to hide?
I'm not hiding anything.
You're a terrible liar, sweetie.
I'm not lying.
Then show me.
There's nothing to show you.
Okay, all right.
Okay, it's a surprise.
And it's gonna wait 'til
after your graduation.
- Fine.
- Yup.
Hey, there's something I wanna show you.
Oh yeah?
I drew this today.
What do you think?
Yeah, it's great.
You're not even looking.
Emily, it's just a drawing.
Oh, I guess you're right.
Wait, no!
Shit.
But you promised you wouldn't anymore.
Yeah look, I did
and I intend to keep it that way.
Then what were you trying to hide?
I.
All right.
What the hell.
Emily Jane McCormack, I love you.
And I would give up 1,000 years
if it means I could spend it with you.
So will you?
Save it until graduation.
Yeah.
Sure thing.
Ow! What was that for?
Lying to me.
I love you.
You're not ready. That's
what it is, isn't it?
You're not ready and
that's why you said no.
Ian, you know there's nothing
that I want more in this
world than to marry you.
Emily, come inside.
Just a second.
Just wait until I'm finished.
I can't say or do anything more until then.
Not while I'm under his roof.
Okay?
Yeah.
Okay
Well, I gotta go.
I'll call you later tonight then, yeah?
I love you.
It wasn't long until he found out.
It led me to hate him
after he pushed me away
because I chose to be with you.
You gonna help?
No, don't drop them now.
Oh, it's a maze in here.
Oh, there we are.
What?
Oh.
Ah, great.
Yes?
Yeah, all right.
I'll be right down.
That was Schmidt.
I need to head down again.
Clean up some massive mess.
Probably something left from
his big night out, you know.
First things first.
Look.
If I keep pushing, this promotion
will hopefully come through soon.
And then things will start happening.
Your father is gonna
come around, I promise.
I'll see you when you get back.
Don't go anywhere.
I'd hate to have to send
out a search party for ya.
And where am I gonna go?
Oof, I don't know.
Maybe into the arms of
some other lucky man.
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm yours, forever.
Now get going already.
Right, yes, good idea, sorry.
Love you!
I'd given up a lot
and I'd come too far to turn back.
A sudden epiphany had hit me.
Whether it was out of stupidity or not.
A decision had to be made.
I began drawing aimlessly to the point
of spilling out all my emotions.
I had tried to call my father several times
while you were at work but got no answer.
And then that day you came home
and told me you got that promotion.
Hey.
You wanna talk about anything?
Only you, my love.
How was your day?
You began working so much.
That dealership had you
wrapped around by the finger.
You began making that your first priority.
Hey where are you?
No, that's fine.
You do what you need to do.
Love you.
Bye.
I had realized
this had all been a mistake.
And I wasn't willing to go back.
I had to start anew and
pursue my own ambitions.
The ones you paid little attention to.
Uh, Miss McCormack.
I'm sorry, I was caught
up with another client.
That's all right.
Please, call me Janey.
Janey.
Well, um sorry.
Come on through.
You lead the way.
I had sat around for days
thinking what I had done.
Thinking about you.
Thinking about what my
father would have thought.
I didn't want him to see me as a failure.
I had a desire to be an artist.
I was prepared to show
everyone what I could do.
I sat and I observed this monstrosity
of a human being.
I knew he'd be perfect.
And I would carry on knowing
that I had made the right choice.
It may have been foolish
to have married Clarke
but I live by no regrets.
It got me to where I am now
and it led me back to you.
And now that you see, you were never there
when I needed you.
I had to do this all on my own.
All you cared about was
pleasing the dealership.
I was working, Emily!
For you, you're all I ever wanted.
All I ever wanted was you
and I worked damn hard for the things
I wanted for both of us.
What you wanted!
Did you ever think about what I wanted?
What I needed!
I loved you, Ian but it
just wasn't gonna work
and the last thing that I wanted
was for my father to have been right.
Everything all right in there?
And now I've shown you, this is my passion
and all that was left was
to have Clarke reflect
through my work and then he would see
that you were the right man from the start.
And Clarke may have ruined that,
but there's still time to set things right.
Devon.
It's all right.
The police are on their way.
You've got a lot of explaining to do.
Devon, listen to me.
You're drunk.
I can smell the alcohol on your breath.
Okay, save it until the police arrive.
Devon, you don't understand.
Let me explain and there'll be no need
to involve the police.
You motherfucker!
No, no, no!
Fucking get off me, you piece of shit!
I'm gonna fucking kill
you for what you did.
How fucking dare you!
And introducing Miss Emily McCormack.
I'm yours forever.
Shut up.
Shut up, Clarke!
You fucking ruined everything.
You dirt bag!
Ha, ha, oh please.
You got closure, Ian.
It's what you've always wanted.
I didn't want it like this.
Why, it's perfect.
My Janey was your Emily.
Your Emily was my Janey.
What better way to sum it up to a T?
Not like this.
How could she do this to me?
You and that fucking spade of yours.
Look, if anything, I think
this has done you some good.
Good?
How's it done me any good?
I just found out my ex fiance left me
to marry you, of all people.
And was it the right decision?
No, absolutely not.
I had everything going for me.
I could've given her so much.
And what did she decide to do?
Run off with some low life
with no real ambition.
And where did that get her?
Exactly where she wanted to be.
I tried so hard.
I didn't mean to neglect her.
I just wanted everything to work out
the way I'd planned.
Not everything goes to plan, Ian.
That's life.
You don't understand, though.
I loved her.
She was my whole world.
I can't imagine being
in a world without her.
Ugh.
You can live in a world without her, Ian.
Come live in mine.
I know it's fucked up and crazy
but at least I'm not wallowing
in a hole of sadness and self pity.
No, you're just psychotic.
Yeah, maybe so.
But at least I never let my
emotions get the better of me.
You got what you wanted, Ian.
What else is left?
Nothing.
All I'm left with is the pain.
The pain she left you with.
And everything that comes along with it.
It got you to realize, didn't it, huh?
Now all you gotta do is
let those scars fade.
I think all this had
to happen for a reason.
What?
You think I was meant to
be alone and miserable?
No, no, not at all.
I think the right girl
is out there for you,
it just wasn't Janey.
Oh, oh, and somehow Janey,
and her name is Emily!
You think she was right for you?
No, she wasn't right for either of us.
That's the point I'm trying to make.
Oh, there's a point.
Yeah, there is.
I got to see a different side of Emily.
I saw the side that you didn't get to see.
I knew what she was capable of.
Do you know what I did?
I just roll with it.
Because that's the kind of guy I am.
Not everyone's like you, Clarke.
Some of us have feelings.
And some of us have a
gut instinct telling us
when to back away.
And what, I had nothing to gain from this.
It led me to you, didn't it?
Because that's just exactly what I needed.
Bravo.
Well in your case, I think you did.
What are you getting at?
Look, would you have ever known the truth
about Emily if it wasn't for me?
Huh, would you?
Sure, the landlord might
have brought her over
and you might have found out that way.
But would you have ever
really have known the truth?
Hm?
See.
You needed me from the start.
Our lives intertwined because of her.
All it took was a few beers,
a few laughs, and few tears.
And I think above all, you
got one good thing out of it.
And what's that?
A friend.
Gibbons, you're being released.
Everything checks out.
That girl must have really loved you
to go through all that
bullshit to prove a point
to her father.
Bitch has some serious
daddy issues if you ask me.
And Ian.
You're the butterfly.
He's right, you know.
Who said that?
McManus, what are you doing here?
Woo!
Ah! Hey, hey, hey!
I can't believe what I'm hearing.
Well, you know what they say.
Shit happens when you party naked.
So how long you in for?
Oh, probably overnight.
- Yeah?
- You?
Oh, 'til I'm sober, unfortunately.
So Clarke finally got you to realize, huh?
And now it all makes sense.
I had a hunch from the start.
How?
How'd you have a hunch?
'Cause Clarke did the same
thing to me with my wife.
Life's got a funny way of repeating itself.
Yeah, oh.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, uh.
What the fuck is this?
Oh fuck.
So this is what it's come down to?
I didn't want you to find out like this.
Who is he?
Clarke?
Look, I'm sorry, man.
Look.
You stupid fuck!
Are they my gloves?
Yes, I mean, I mean no, no they're not.
Look, I don't know.
After everything I've fucking done for you,
you go and do this?
I'm your apprentice.
Come on man, I gotta do what you do.
Well, I hope she's paying you for this.
'Cause you're fired!
Don't you!
Come on bro, don't fire me.
Look, beers later?
Fuck off!
Are you still inside her?
Oh my god!
It took a long time to forgive him.
I spent many nights just wishing
I'd never walked through that door.
Don't be a stinge.
Yeah, cheers boys!
Then I realized if I hadn't,
my life woulda just kept on the way it was.
I'm not saying what Clarke
did was right, obviously,
but if he hadn't have done what he'd done
then I would have never realized
what my marriage really was.
And like you, I hang
onto this as a reminder.
Hopefully, I'll be able to let go one day.
I've done terrible things to myself.
I gave up on everything, my job.
She'd been the only reason
I kept pushing so hard.
After she left I, I guess
just stopped seeing the point.
But I do look back and I think to myself,
if I'd realized what Clarke
had been saying earlier,
that she was unworthy of my love,
would I have been better off?
Clarke's a strange one.
But he is good at making you
realize what's best for you.
Yeah, I'm beginning to see that.
He's unpredictable, that's for sure.
You never know what he's gonna do or say
but if there's one thing
I've learned from him,
is that you can never be too impulsive.
Oh god, you're gonna
turn out just like him.
Exactly.
Get some rest.
Things are gonna get better soon.
I'll see ya when it does.
Roberts, it's time to go.
Forget about her and this place.
This one's for you, McManus.
Thought you could get rid
of me that easily, could ya?
Clarke?
Scared the hell outta me, man.
Yup, I'm the big, bad boogie man.
Here to steal your girlfriend.
Too soon?
You got a minute?
All the time in the world, buddy.
How ya been, anyway?
Good.
You're kidding me,
McManus really said that?
Yeah.
Oh, that's insane.
He's a fucking nutter, that one.
Sit here.
So, what's news, buddy?
I guess I just wanted to thank you.
You really opened my eyes.
Ah, don't mention it.
So, what's next, fresh start?
Oh well first and foremost gotta go
and find myself a new house, a new job.
You know.
We can't all be like you, Clarkey.
Yeah, I'm doing all right, I guess.
Working for the council.
You're shitting me?
Yeah.
Congrats.
Good money?
Ah, it will be once they receive my fliers.
You're unbelievable, man.
Ah.
Oh, no fucking way.
No, fucking way.
Yeah way.
I thought you threw it away.
I may have been too drunk to recall.
So why do you still have it?
I don't know, I kept in the hopes
that maybe one day she'd come back
but she's engaged to someone else now.
Figured as much.
What do you mean?
Uh.
I guess the reason why
I did all that stuff was
was that I figured she
was seeing someone else
on the side, you know?
Yeah.
Each of her drawings had some
kind of symbolic reference.
And it wasn't that day 'til I realized...
It's funny, isn't it?
That she was-
What?
There.
Young love.
If only they had our luck.
Our luck is one in a million, buddy.
For argument's sake though, you know.
They would have severe marital problems.
Hm.
I think this just about
sums up everything, big guy.
There we go.
Good times.
You know, I know a place where
you can pawn off that ring.
No, I reckon I might keep it, actually.
Who knows, maybe someday the
perfect girl will come along.
What?
What?
- The perfect girl?
- Yeah.
Oh man, you're living
in a fantasy world, Ian.
The perfect girl doesn't exist.
All right, what about
just the right girl, then.
You know what?
I think that's one step closer.
So, you gonna get that?
No, I'm on break.
What are you doing?
Celebrating, my love.
Oh, the last champagne celebration
I recall didn't go so well.
Well, it doesn't matter.
That's all right.
What matters is we're here
and a date's been set.
Little early for my liking but
if you're happy, I'm happy.
I am, and especially with the place.
Even after everything that went down?
Yeah, I feel like it speaks to me.
Like it has the right aura for my work.
It's funny, the day they
dragged Ian out of here
he kept yelling out Emily as
if he was referring to you.
When he came to view the place,
he mentioned moving in
with his fiance Emily.
Turns out it wasn't meant to be
and he moved in alone, but he said it would
have been the perfect place for her.
I can imagine.
Why would you say that?
Jane?
Hm?
Oh, nothing forget it.
Well, if champagne
doesn't tickle your fancy,
how about we grab a bite to eat?
Sure, that sounds nice.
Thinking of Ian.
Did you notice, he actually did
a really good job on that lawn.
It looks fantastic.
Hm.
I feel like Chinese.
All right, all right, I'm coming.
Ian Roberts?
Who the hell are you?
I'm McManus, the Repair Man.
Repair man?
I don't need a-
Look, you've obviously got the wrong house.
It's too early in the
morning for this shit.
Your landlord's Devon Meyers, right?
Mayers, yes, Devon Mayers.
What about him?
Well, he sent me here to do
maintenance on the property.
Maintenance?
No, no, maintenance.
If I needed maintenance don't you think
I'd be calling Devon myself?
Or at least I would have been notified.
Well, maybe you need
to check your letter box.
What business is that of yours, buddy?
All I know is you haven't been paying rent
and you're getting evicted.
So, are you gonna let me in
or am I gonna have to call Devon?
Look, I don't fuckin' appreciate hearing
all this from a handyman, okay.
I'm gonna get Devon on the phone myself
and I'm gonna give him a piece of my own.
Fucking handyman.
Fucking hell!
Bloody hell.
Haven't paid the phone bill, either, huh?
It wasn't supposed to be like this, okay?
I lost my job at the dealership
and on top of that someone's stolen all
of my gardening tools.
So uh, you can't pay
your rent or your bills
and you're worried about gardening tools?
At least the lawn mower didn't get stolen.
No, no, no.
The lawn mower did get stolen.
That was a gift from... someone.
Well, who's cutting your grass?
I haven't kept on track with the lawn.
The loon probably still
mows it out of spite
for all I know.
Where?
Want a lighter?
Yeah.
Thanks.
Who gave you this?
It was a gift, anniversary
present, actually.
But um, yeah we're not together anymore.
Ah, I suppose I should
let you in, shouldn't I?
All right, I'll grab my gear.
I'll go sort out the mail.
Um, what the fuck's this?
What?
That, beer.
It's a little some for later.
I wouldn't be the one to judge.
You've got a bottle.
Afterwards I want you gone, okay?
This isn't a fancy resort.
You do what you have to do
and then you can fuck off.
We'll see.
Hey.
Ugh.
Aye!
I wouldn't forget this one, Ian.
I know you've seen better days
and to be honest, you look like shit.
No I don't.
But I wouldn't want to put
another one on top of this one.
For future reference.
If you know what I'm saying.
Huh, huh?
This is junk.
It's one of those gardening adverts.
With a price.
My garden's fine.
Who the hell are you?
I've been mowing your lawn for you, Ian.
And what this sheet of paper is,
is me billing you, all right?
But, I never hired you to mow my lawn.
Don't come here expecting
a fee for doing something
without my permission.
Look, I don't want this to get ugly.
So why don't you go
inside, fetch me some cash,
and in the meantime I'll be out taking
some Z's in the trailer.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
What do you think you're doing, huh?
God damn it, get off me. No, no, no!
- Ow.
- God damn it.
Prick!
Hey, hey, chill the fuck out.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Don't play games with me.
This is my weeding spade.
What have you done with my mower, huh?
If you're not gonna help me I'm
sure the police will assist.
Call the fucking cops.
You don't know who I am.
Oh, I think I do.
Reggie King Lawn Service.
It's printed on the flier.
Check fuckin' mate.
That's all bullshit.
What?
It's a fake flier.
I mow more than one lawn, you know.
I try my best to avoid any lawsuits.
Now, hand over the spade, Ian.
Hey, no.
Oh!
Those are my lucky poker shades, you prick.
How do you know my name?
Have you been going through all of my mail?
Tell me who you are or I'm sure the police
will give me an idea, huh.
Let him go, Ian.
His name's Clarke.
McManus, what the fuck are you?
McManus?
Hey-Hey-Hey, haven't seen you in ages, man.
How ya going, buddy?
Hey!
Long time, no see.
Yeah man, yeah, it's good to see you.
Look at this, what's this?
You can't be fucking serious.
What?
You two know each other?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh.
- What?
- Oh no, no, no, I get it.
You two are in this together, aren't you?
Huh, couple of scammers scoping
my personal information
looking to make a quick buck.
Yeah, I'm onto you.
Relax mate, we used to work together.
He was an apprentice of mine.
Yeah, damn sight good one, too.
Don't take another step closer
or I will stab you, huh?
- Do what he says.
- I mean it!
Ow.
Drop the spade.
All right!
God, ow, ow, ow.
You carrying on like the
crazy bastard Clarke is.
You'll break my arm.
Where is Clarke?
Come on, inside.
Come on, man.
What are you doing?
This is my house!
Come on!
Come on, man. Come on.
Man.
Settle down, all right?
Ow.
Aw, Ian you dope.
You mess with McManus,
that's what you'll get.
I was his apprentice.
I had to put up with
his bullshit for years.
I couldn't even have a wank in the end,
my hands were that blistered.
It was fucked.
This can't be happening.
You two need to leave.
Oh, come on.
We're your friends, huh?
Take it from a guy who
lives in your garden shed.
My garden shed?
You're the reason I keep
finding used condoms in there.
Blistered hands, buddy.
Ugh.
Oh Clarkey boy.
How are ya, mate?
- Hey!
- Beer?
Good man, yeah-yeah-yeah.
It's me own home brew.
Far out.
I haven't seen you since,
when you and your old lady tied the knot.
Oh yeah.
How is Janey, by the way?
Oh, she's not too happy
with me at the moment.
- You want one?
- No.
She bloody, she kicked me out.
- What?
- Yeah, yeah.
I fucked up a lot of things for us, so.
Now I'm just cash working my
way out of debt, you know.
By mowing mine and the neighbor's lawns
without our permission.
Not to mention using my garden shed
as your own personal refuge.
Hey, I'm just borrowing the place
until I get on my feet.
Where you should be is jail.
You fucking disgrace of a human being.
Hey, fuck you. Why don't you take a look
in the mirror you fucking
jobless, piss head.
I want you out of my house, now.
No.
McManus asked me to stay for a few beers
so that's what I'll be doing.
McManus, this is my fucking house.
McManus is here to do a job.
Neither of you have the
right to be doing this.
Now, get out!
McManus, what are you
doing working for this clown?
Clearly he doesn't appreciate
the effort we go to,
to keep his lawns and house
in such great condition.
No, no, no mate.
You got it wrong.
I don't work for this bozo.
I work for the landlord.
He's getting evicted.
Oh man, you're in the same position as me.
No, no I'm not.
Hey, don't worry, don't worry.
Look, there's plenty of
room out in the garden shed.
Might wanna wear a T-shirt, though.
That hessian sack gets real itchy.
Oh, come on.
Sit down, you're breaking my
heart hearing all of this.
Might as well vent it
out over a few cold ones.
Come on.
Yeah, well, if they were cold.
I guess I won't ask how life's treatin' ya.
It wasn't always like this, was it?
There was a time I had everything.
You ever look back and
realize that you're at
the peak of your life and
then somewhere, somehow
things just went downhill and they took
a turn for the worse?
That was me.
I had everything going for me.
- Come on.
- I had a good job.
And then there was Emily,
my high school sweetheart.
Aw.
We were gonna get married
after the graduation.
Ha, you dodged a fucking
bullet and a half there, mate.
I'm 24.
Hey! You're 26.
24, 26, suck a dick.
Whatever, all right.
Look, the point is I was married
for 18 months, it was horrible.
It was like planting my face
onto a fucking cheese grater.
It's a good analogy.
I pushed through, so to speak.
I don't know how anyone could
put up being married to you.
You're so unstable and, ugh.
Hey, hey, hey, all right.
I may be unstable financially,
but not emotionally.
I think that's the difference
between me and you, Ian.
You fall so deep when it goes all wrong.
Actually, you remind me of my Janey.
She needed someone like me
and not like you.
Jane was Emily's middle name.
What the fuck happened with that, huh?
The bitch took it all from you, didn't she?
And that's why you're in this rut.
Time's up.
You two should get back to work.
Hey, I've made the same
mistakes that led me here.
Same as you, except I went one step further
and I got married.
I lived the life that
you didn't get to live.
I could have had that.
Why didn't you?
Does it matter? I don't feel like I need
to explain myself to you.
Ah Ian, Clarke's just trying
to tell you his story, all right?
McManus, for the last time,
quit drinking and do your job.
Then when both of you are done,
you can get outta my house.
Sound good?
Is this how you treat all your guests?
You're not exactly the best host.
Is this what happened to what's her name?
She ran away once you told her to fuck off?
Hey, I never treated her bad.
Get up, get up.
Get up!
You're crazy.
Get up, get up.
I was good to her.
I gave her everything and I still would.
You don't know what you're talking about.
I'm talking about you, Ian.
Yeah?
If it's not her, then where'd all
this anger come from, huh?
Why are you doing this to me?
Clearly you failed to
make your marriage happen
but why do you have to remind me
that I failed to make mine happen as well?
I'm just trying to help.
If my story can prove anything,
it's that life isn't that bad.
Look at me, huh?
I'm living in a garden shed.
Your garden shed.
I'm sending out invoices hoping someone
will appreciate the incentive.
Everything is back where I left her.
Why don't you fucking go back to her?
Tell her you're sorry.
Live happily ever after
and all that bullshit.
Because it's not that simple, Ian,
not after what I did.
Well it should be simple enough
for her to forgive you.
What are you trying to prove?
That this somehow connects to the fact
that I've got no job, that I'm broke,
and on the verge of being homeless?
I look at you and I think
it's all just circumstantial.
- But for me it wasn't!
- What are you trying to say?
Why did she leave you, Clarke?
Because I haven't got the slightest clue
why Emily left me.
You asked how I got into this rut.
I drove myself into it and I can't move on
because everyday I wonder
why and what did I do.
I had so much planned for us.
It'll be all right, mate.
Hey, hey look.
Maybe you just didn't fuck her right.
That's it, fuck you man!
Fuck you!
Come on, Clarke.
Let, let go of me.
Fuck you, man!
Fuck you.
Come on, let me go.
- Come on.
- Fuck, don't come back here.
Stay there, all right.
Right, I need to get your squiggle here.
Thank you.
Look, for what it's worth I feel really bad
for what you're going through, all right.
And I know Clarke's got a funny way
of showing it, but he does care about you.
You should listen to what he has to say.
So you'll just take your things and go now?
Please.
Thank you.
McManus.
What?
Clarke's story.
Yeah?
Will it prove anything?
You'll see.
Where'd this guy even come from?
Day's coming to an end.
So why not end it on the perfect note.
McManus, what the fuck?
Breaking and entering.
Well, you didn't answer the door.
I knocked twice.
That's my front door.
Well, not for very much longer.
Look, I'm not waiting
around outside all day.
I've got a fucking job to do and a case
of beer waiting for me.
You've done nothing but drink.
Hopefully today you get this shit started
so you can get out of my hair.
At least he's doing his job.
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you.
The landlord's found someone to move in
so you're gonna have to
get all your shit together
and move it out, otherwise I'm
putting it out on the street.
Sorry, mate.
Fine.
Knock, knock.
Clarke.
I was beginning to think
that was you I was hearing.
Then again, I can't imagine
you committing to anything.
Especially on a Saturday morning.
Yeah, you heard right.
I was working but I thought, hey,
why not let the lawn mower
do the rest of the work.
The mower.
My mower?
Yeah.
Oh shit!
What the fuck.
That was one fine gift she gave you.
I never told you that
was a gift from her, did I?
McManus may have mentioned something.
Oh, it doesn't matter anyway.
I never liked the bloody thing.
I only kept it for her.
Well, whatever it was, it's gone now.
And good riddance.
I hope the neighbors don't call the police.
I hope the neighbors don't call the police.
Fuck you, man.
Relax, they can't prove anything, huh?
It's like 8:00 in the morning.
It's not like you've got a job to go to.
That's never stopped you.
Look, I can't go back to work now.
And you're always waking
up half pissed anyway.
What the fuck difference does it make?
Look, maybe I just don't wanna have
a drink with you, Clarke.
Oh, why not?
Let's celebrate.
Turning over a new leaf.
Celebrating what? It's not
like things are gonna get
any better from here on out.
Oh, you can't say that, Ian, huh?
Life's full of surprises.
Look at how we met.
Look at how it all came together.
What does?
Life, and all the
bullshit that comes with it.
No matter how bad you have it, Ian,
there's always someone
who's got it worse than you.
And I found that with you.
Huh?
Why do you take pleasure in reminding me
how shit my life is?
Because when I saw you yesterday I thought,
this guy's gonna make me
feel like a million bucks.
And what, now you're aiming for a billion?
No, I just wanna give
you some of my millions.
It's a good start, I guess.
I like you, Ian.
You're like an angel to my devil.
That's not an understatement at all.
Everybody dances with the
devil from time to time, Ian.
What Janey didn't know was the devil
was staring right back at her.
Oh, bloody hell.
Why are you telling me this?
'Cause, we were the two
devils that fell apart.
I wanna know how the two angels fell apart.
I wanna know how the resentment ties in.
Look, clearly you resented Janey
but I didn't have that for Emily.
Really?
Ian, she walked out on you.
There must have been some resentment.
Tell me what happened.
Give me an understanding of
why she did what she did.
I really don't know, Clarke.
There must have been something.
Did you force yourself onto her?
Did you fuck one of her pets?
I never did anything like that.
Come on, relationships aren't always
what they're cracked up to be.
Aw, in relationships, Ian,
you just do those things that
just drive each other mad, right?
Yeah.
Those little things.
Was there something like that?
I guess she hated how closed minded I was.
See, there we go.
And you're a bitch.
I'm not anybody's bitch.
Not like Janey was to you.
Yeah, that was Janey's problem.
She never backed down.
She was a bitch.
Was that how Emily was to you?
No, no Emily was lovely.
She only told me what
to do because she cared.
Whipped.
Smoking, Clarke.
It was the smoking as well.
She hated it.
She couldn't stand it.
I tried to hide it from her, but well,
McManus' lighter reminded me.
Reminded you of what?
The very last time.
Did she see the ring?
No, not at first, anyway.
I kicked it under the seat
while I unlocked the door.
And what, you were
planning to ask her that day?
No, no, no.
All right, you're gonna laugh
but I've got this stupid little plan.
There's this lookout point with a view
of the entire town.
I'd take Emily up there,
we'd lie on the windshield of my car
and we'd just talk 'til late.
Man, it was the perfect place.
It was our place.
Oh, how romantic.
I'm all broken up.
But when I did ask her
she said she couldn't.
She believed her father wouldn't approve.
I guess he thought that a guy
who cleans trucks for a
living wouldn't be able
to provide a stable
future for his daughter.
Yeah, it wouldn't seem so.
But Emily knew I always
had good intentions.
That's why I pushed for the promotion.
I had to change her father's opinion of me.
And did it?
No, no it didn't.
It killed her.
When she told her father about the proposal
and then he kicked her out of home.
We went on to share a
small one bedroom apartment
but things weren't the same.
She started to change.
Hey, do wanna talk about anything?
Only you, my love.
How was your day?
From the type of activity
you were describing,
I'd say these two would probably be.
This particular model does.
Whoa, Whoa.
Sir, sir.
I'm afraid you can't.
They've had issues-
Leather interior, don't even
have to get out of the truck.
Controls are inside.
You just push the button, bam.
Six year price there.
These are the only ones made for this.
Driving. Activity
Completely unscratched.
Right ahead.
Ian.
Mate.
You uh, don't have any
plans tonight, do you?
Well, I was gonna go see
a movie with the missus.
Hm, that's great.
Look, I have a ton of paper work
that needs to be done by the morning
and I, I, me, mate me.
I have left it on your desk.
But Mr. Schmidt, I've
already made plans.
Please.
Mate.
Ian.
Sir.
Mate, who gave you this job?
You, You did.
And when I gave you this job, come on mate,
what did you say?
You were like.
- That you.
- I could handle.
- Handle.
- The extra workload
Extra workload, yes!
We've discussed this, Ian.
All right, awesome, good boy.
Nah, ah.
- I'll do double-
- Nah, shh.
Come on mate, just need you to do the work.
I'm counting on you.
Don't disappoint me, all right?
I won't.
You're a good lad.
All right. Watching you.
No, no, you don't have time for water.
I just want you to start working.
- This needs to get done.
- Right, right on, sir.
By morning.
- Absolutely.
- All right? I'm watching you.
Yeah.
Sweet.
You have an eye everywhere, I remember.
We're buddies, we're bros, right?
Best bros.
You're my bestie.
- All right.
- Yeah. Besties for life.
Don't work too hard, okay?
Course not.
I'm watching you. Watching.
All right.
Boys. Here we go.
The Strippers.
All right!
Kept a picture of her to remind myself
to push through.
All I could think was moving
into a bigger, better place.
We'd get married and
live happily ever after.
Why did you word it like that?
Because after all of that bullshit,
I don't get what I wanted in the end.
Cutbacks were made at the dealership.
Schmidt was spending too much
money at the strip joints.
I vowed to stay on, but I
knew that would mean working
almost every day.
Nothing wrong with working everyday.
Yeah, not when you can't
see the one you love.
Devon Mayers.
Hi, can I help you?
Ian Roberts, we spoke over the phone.
Ian, the young man from the dealership?
Yeah, that's it.
Look, sorry to keep you waiting I just got
a little lost on the way, you know.
I'm actually off to see a client
but I can show you the inside
while I've got you here.
Yeah, great, lead the way.
Cool, come on in.
Fantastic.
It's a real beauty.
Yeah.
As you can see it's furnished.
We've got the master bedroom, bathroom,
laundry, kitchen, of
course the living room.
It's not quite the Taj Mahal
but as prices in the northern
suburbs go, it certainly fits
the price quite well.
No, it's nice, Emily will love it.
Oh, your partner will be moving with you?
Fiance, actually.
Oh, you'll need to maintain the garden.
Ah, that won't be a problem.
The missus will get me onto that.
You know, she's always wanted to move into
a place with a garden.
It'll be nice to get out of that small,
tiny little apartment.
Sorry, if you don't mind me asking.
Go ahead.
How old are you and your fiance?
You just, you look very young
for someone planning to be married.
I recently turned 21 and she's 18.
She just graduated from
high school, actually.
And she is looking to
further in her studies?
Eh, she's one of those creative types.
So, I'm guessing so.
Well um, sorry I'll show
you the rest of the place.
Yeah.
Sweetie, I'm home.
The rain looks like it's gonna
come down hard out there.
There is good news, though.
I found a new place and I met
with a property manager, looks great.
Plenty of space and there's even a garden.
Can finally put that
lawn mower to good use.
What'd ya reckon?
Emily?
Emily?
Emily?
Ian?
Speaking.
It's Devon Mayers.
Listen, I've reviewed your application
and you were successful.
You and your fiance can move
in whenever you're ready.
What a cold hearted bitch.
Do you still have the ring?
No, I threw it away.
And the note?
Still trying to figure it out.
Aw man, fuck that.
Women, you'll never work that out.
They're strange creatures.
And they blame us men of our ignorance.
Man, I may be crazy but at
least I can fucking rationalize.
You know?
Then why did she leave all of a sudden?
Who knows.
Maybe she wanted to play the field.
Sew her wild oats.
I don't know.
Been married once, it's just
sickening thinking about it.
Hey, tell me this.
Let's say if Emily rocked up now,
just out of some strange occurrence.
What would you say?
I'd ask her why.
Then I'd finally have closure.
She wasn't ready, Ian.
What else is left?
That's the thing, I
just don't know anymore.
The more I think about it the more
it's gonna keep grabbing ahold of me.
Oh, for fuck's sake, Ian.
Just move on.
Look, I've tried, I can't.
It's hard, man.
Hard, hard?
Your dick should be the
only thing that's hard.
You two should be out
there playing the field
rather than feeling sorry for one another.
You have no idea how
depressing it is seeing
a man being stripped of his dignity due
to someone who's not worthy of his love.
Yeah, but that's the thing.
I still love her.
Oh, Ian you'll find closure by coming
to terms with the fact
that it wasn't meant to be.
That's how I dealt with Janey.
Look at you boys.
Talking like a bunch of girls.
You don't need to hide.
It's stayed pretty clear out there.
Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
I was too busy stuck in one
of Ian's deep and meaningfuls.
Look, are you almost done?
Uh, it's going all right.
So I see you've helped
yourself to my beers.
Yeah, well I've told both of you
to finish your jobs 1,000 times, haven't I?
Hey.
We don't tell you how to do
your job, if you had one.
So don't tell us how to do ours, all right?
Besides, it's the weekend, huh?
Yeah, loosen up.
Loosen up, would ya?
Yeah, come on.
This old man's been working hard.
- Bloody hard.
- He deserves a bloody beer.
I deserve more than one beer.
Hey, don't get your fucking
G banger in a knot, all right?
Look, I was in the middle
of Ian's tragic love story.
Oh yeah, I'm sure it was real tragic.
You'll be right, mate.
You just need to harden the fuck up.
Look, forget about her,
forget about this place.
My story will be all you'll ever need
to put you back on the road to recovery.
You guys are on in five minutes.
We'll be ready.
All right guys, come on.
Everyone get your shit together.
This is our big moment to play in front
of the big heavy weights.
This is just a shit gig
in a corner pub hotel.
I'm only in it for the
fucking hot sluts out there.
Woo-ha!
Clarke there's more to being in a band
than getting your end wet.
Yeah, come on.
It's about the music, man.
No.
Fuck the music.
I mean there is over 60
drunk college sluts out there
and I'm gonna fuck 'em all!
Clarke what have I had to say about you
having too much to drink before our shows?
God damn it, we're trying to earn a label.
Fine.
You've got a fucking attitude
problem, you know that?
I think you've lost touch
with the band life, Ash.
Just do your part on guitar.
Don't say anything.
Whatever, fuck-tard.
Clarke, Clarke, Clarke, Clarke!
Woo!
Woo!
Yeah!
Yes!
Yeah!
I've been Clarke, everybody.
Clarke!
Fuck all of ya.
You suck!
Fuck off.
You see me up there, man?
I was some fucking rockstar.
I'll tell ya that, huh?
I saw you up there.
You know, if you're
anything like a rockstar
then I'm an astronaut.
At least my career will takeoff.
What the fuck is that suppose to mean?
Why is it that there's no
hussies around here, huh?
I tried to reel one in
but none of them are taking
my fucking meat hook.
You wonder why?
I mean, all the ladies
at this establishment
must think you're a prat.
What?
What the fuck does that mean?
Well, a bastard.
Fuck you.
Real smooth, dickhead.
Fucking dickhead.
Who are you calling a
fucking dickhead, huh, huh?
Fuck you.
Who the fuck writes in a bar alone, anyway?
I was writing your band review, you idiot.
At least it was a good scotch.
Fuck you, I'm Hypocrite Lesbian!
Fuck.
Hey, ready to go?
You made us a laughing stock.
It's over, you've embarrassed
us for way too long.
There was a girl.
There's always a girl.
That's all you do is chase
the pussy and not the dream.
Yeah, but like this time was different.
This time it ends, Clarke.
You're no longer with Hypocrite Lesbian.
Hey it's cool, look, I understand
if you guys don't want me inside.
I'll just chill out here outside-
That's where you belong,
garbage among garbage.
Oh, and for the record,
no girl would ever settle
for a guy like you.
We want real men with ambition.
Ugh.
Here's your fucking guitar.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What the fuck are you doing?
Shh, you're filthy, let me help.
Are you gonna kill me?
Are you the girl from the bar?
There were many girls in the bar.
What makes you think
I'm that particular one?
You were the only girl in the bar.
That's right, I was the only one left
after you got kicked out.
What the fuck were you
doing before I noticed you?
Were you drawing me?
I was sketching.
In a bar?
Where else? It's what I
need for what I'm doing.
I'm an artist.
Yeah, but in a bar you get fucked up
and you do crazy shit,
then you forget about it
so you're spared of the humiliation.
I tend to disagree.
I don't need to get drunk to be amused.
I find amusement in those who hope
to be spared of their humiliation.
They don't realize I'm
documenting their every move.
Let me show you.
Is this meant to symbolize me?
No, not exactly.
I mean, the butterfly maybe.
So you find me beautiful?
Speak for yourself.
The butterfly symbolizes its stature
over something as little as a caterpillar
but eventually the caterpillar will rise up
to it's full potential.
It's about doing what you love,
no matter what anyone thinks.
How the fuck does that symbolize me?
It doesn't.
The caterpillar symbolizes
freedom to endure its path.
And then it'll fulfill it's destiny and
the butterfly may stand high and mighty
but in the end is it the butterfly
that finds true happiness,
or the caterpillar?
The butterfly.
Very funny.
People never change.
You men are all the same.
Oh, come on.
Hold on.
Give me a chance.
Love birds.
Two people who have found happiness,
sitting on a branch about to break.
Was that your intention?
I never quite found what I
was looking for in that one.
What the fuck are you looking for, then?
I haven't quite spawned
into that butterfly just yet.
You're Clarke, right?
Your band mates were having
a bitch about you inside
so I gathered as much.
I'm Janey, if that makes
things less awkward.
Janey.
Yeah, it's a nickname my
friends prefer to call me it, so.
Hey, would you like to go for a walk down
on the beach with me and watch the sunrise?
Sure, why the fuck not.
Here, let me help you.
Easy now.
Fair enough.
Where's my guitar?
Did you take it?
So are you a local girl?
Yup, what about you?
Are you from around here?
I'm from a bit of everywhere, really.
All over the place.
I see, running from your past.
Yeah, running from some things.
I mean, we all got our own hassles.
What about you?
I'm not running.
I have big plans to stick around.
Yeah.
Hey uh.
why did you approach...
Me... in the bar?
I don't know.
I guess you looked like fun.
And the way you looked at me.
I couldn't stop thinking about it.
I've never had anybody look
at me like that before.
You seem so perfect.
Just what I've been looking for.
I need you to do something for me.
It's kind of crazy, dumb but I think
a guy like you can handle it.
Sure, what is it?
No fucking way!
Yeah.
She asked you to marry her?
Yeah, yeah, keep it down, all right.
All right, I'm not gonna listen
to this bullshit anymore.
I'm off to go get some more beer.
Nice to see the door back
on it's hinges McManus!
Suck a dick, Ian!
You could do with some of that.
Yeah, you could do with not
marrying complete strangers.
Hey, you know with all
the casual hookups going
on these days you could say
I was starting a new trend.
Yeah, but with someone you don't know?
Yeah look-
I don't know, I don't understand it.
Beggars can't be choosers, huh?
Hm.
So was it love at first sight, or what?
No, fuck no!
I don't fucking know.
It seems messed up already if you ask me.
Yeah, I did think it was a bit crazy
but I thought, hey, maybe
she's just some catholic slag
doing it for the good Lord.
Why'd you go through with it?
I don't know, man, look at me.
I'm not the most delicate
flower in the sun.
Yeah, I thought it was
crazy but I just roll
with the punches and she
was the one girl willing
to go the distance.
Hm.
So how long did it take?
What?
To get married?
Oh, yeah, it was that weekend.
Fuck off!
- Yeah.
- What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
McManus was there, he can back me up.
What, the day she asked you
or the day you got married?
The day we got married.
Whew.
Yeah, I remember, I can
vaguely remember the ceremony.
I was pretty pissed.
Gives the day the music
died a whole new meaning.
Fuck up, Ian.
Fucking fruit cake.
Oh, McManus, you dumb bastard!
Sorry, guys.
You may have avoided bashing your head
if you were wearing a seatbelt.
By the way, thanks for dressing up.
Hey, someone had to dress up.
I mean it's my fucking special day.
Well, did the driver have to dress
as some fancy chauffeur? I mean,
this car is a piece of shit
and it's breaking down on us.
First of all, at least he
took pride in his appearance.
Which you didn't.
And second of all, he's our witness, right?
Speaking of witnesses.
Have you told your parents yet?
Sure, when the time is right.
Look, all that matters is that you're here.
Hey, hey, be cool all right.
I put a deposit down for this tux.
I'm sure they have it dry
cleaned after every wear.
Well, not always.
Well, in your case I'd hope so.
Ah.
Why are you always drinking?
I'm gonna be honest with you,
every other day it's
been meaningless, right.
But today it's a celebration!
Celebrating what?
The rest of our lives, baby, huh?
Well it looks like somebody celebrated
a little too early.
What, I'm all right.
He's all right, here.
McManus, grab a glass.
Oh yeah.
Oh you beauty.
Here we go.
Woo!
Yeah.
Come on, don't be a stinge.
Cheers.
Cheers!
To the rest of our lives.
To our lives.
And this carried on for 18 months?
Yeah, six months if
you wanna get technical.
It takes about 12 months
to finalize a divorce.
Man, that was the worst
six months of my life.
Just one fucking fight after another.
What did you do?
What did I do?
It takes two to tango, sir.
So I gathered she never
cared for you, not once?
Exactly.
Janey couldn't give a fuck about me.
And I had to sit in her studio apartment
without a doorway to look through
while she went out and
made a career for herself.
Someone's gotta bring it home.
Yeah, it was all to prove a point.
It wasn't until that day, that I realized.
Hi-ya!
What's up, prick?
That's what's fucking up! I'm Clarke.
Oh fuck.
I killed Mikey.
Who the fuck's Mikey?
Michelangelo, her pet turtle.
She called it Mikey for short.
Wait, wait, so let me get this straight.
Janey had a pet turtle named Michelangelo?
Yeah, yeah that's what I just said, Ian.
Who you killed with a pair of nun-chucks?
Yes!
What the fuck?
Don't you see the irony in that?
No, she was an artist.
She named the turtle after Michelangelo
the fucking artist.
What are you getting at?
Ah!
Oh, fuck, fuck!
I knew the only way out of this
was to find a scapegoat.
And I had an idea on how to get one.
I appreciate you staying open this late.
I need the most playful,
energetic one you have.
Ah, yeah, yeah.
This one will do.
Yeah.
Are you sure, I can show
you more docile ones we have.
No, no, I'll take him.
Oi, Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
Cool it, cool it.
Monster, shut up, just shut up. Cool it!
You're fucking kidding me?
As if you left her alone with him.
Yeah well, she was lonely.
Yeah, and old.
Oh, Christ as if you'd
do something like that?
Oh, come on.
The dog was at least her age.
Bloody hell, they were a
good match for each other.
I fucking hate dogs.
Yeah?
Fucking hate dogs.
Oh, what the fuck?
What's going on here?
You left the door open again.
Again?
Something broke into Mrs. Jones' place
and attacked her and Mikey's gone too.
Voila!
Ugh, what ever it was musta
broke in here as well.
And you just slept through it all?
No, that explains it.
What the fuck else am I supposed to do?
I'm here alone all day.
Just don't, Clarke.
I don't need this from you right now.
Look, I understand why you're upset.
I'm just trying to help.
Where were you tonight, Janey?
I was working late.
I don't know why it matters.
Have you told your parents about us?
Why do you care?
Because we've been doing
this for like two months.
I don't even know why it matters, Clarke.
Its cause I'm you're fucking husband.
- That's why it fucking matters.
- I don't wanna talk about it.
I'm going to bed.
I looked in your sketch pad.
Why, Janey?
Why did you do all this, Janey?
I mean.
Clearly this marriage wasn't
an act of love, was it?
No, it was to prove that I could
do all of this despite being
married to someone like you.
I had to find a place
to lay low for awhile.
Just in case she'd send someone after me.
I needed to find a way
to pay for the damage.
Emily!
Over the next few bloody months
it was nothing but work.
Work, work, and more fucking work.
I got those fliers in
every fucking mailbox.
Fucking douche bag.
Sooner or later it became clear
that everything you went
through was because of her.
The bitch who left without an explanation.
Well.
I think that just about
sums it all up, buddy.
Heh?
That's quite a story, Clarke.
But you didn't help me find
what I was looking for.
I didn't find closure through it all.
I did say you reminded me a lot of Janey.
To be honest, I didn't know her too well.
But like you, she was
searching for something.
Something she couldn't quite grasp.
Then I came along.
I became her muse.
It really pissed me off,
why she did what she did,
but in the end I finally see why.
Well?
Well what?
Why did she?
We all do crazy things, Ian.
It's what makes us human.
At first it seems logical.
Emily leaving you.
Me marrying a complete
stranger, for instance.
But for her it was one
thing and one thing only.
And that was love.
The kind of love I couldn't give her.
The kind of love that stood
by her from the beginning.
She reflected it all through her drawing.
Yeah?
Um, sure.
I'll see you soon.
Fuck!
Fuck.
That was Devon, he's on his way here.
What do you want me to do? Should I go?
McManus will be here soon.
Do whatever you like.
It doesn't make a difference
either way, does it?
I'll be in here if you need me.
Oh okay, no problem.
McManus, the door's open.
Aw, for fuck's sake, McManus.
Fucking retard.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
God damn it, what the.
Janey?
Clarke?
What are you doing here?
What am I doing here,
what are you doing here?
How did you know I was here?
I didn't, I'm here with
the property manager.
He's just gone back to his car
and then he's gonna show me around.
- No.
- But since you're here.
- Don't come in.
- I need you to sign these.
What's this?
Divorce papers.
What? I'm not signing this shit!
You're so fucking immature.
You're the one who's fucking immature.
You're the one who wanted to get married
and then haul me around like
a fucking dog on a leash.
You should've known what
we were from the start.
Yeah, well you fucking played me!
You fucking played me!
Please, you were
everything I was looking for.
You were repugnant, everything I needed.
No, my intentions were
genuine the whole time.
- Fuck you!
- Genuine?
I remember when I told you I felt
like chicken tonight and you came home
with none other than a bottle
of Chicken Tonight sauce.
It just shows how obnoxious you really are.
What the fuck does that
have to do with anything, huh?
How you spose to blame me putting up
with all your fuckin'
artsy-fartsy bullshit!
I fucking hate you.
You ruined everything I
hoped and planned for.
Fuck you, I fucking hate you.
Fuck everything.
Emily?
Ian, this is Jane from my story.
This isn't.
No.
That's Emily.
Jane was Emily's middle...
Name.
Oh fuck.
My Jane was your Em-
Oh,
Man, this is amazing.
I've been cutting your grass
in more ways than one.
I'm gonna fucking kill you, Clarke!
- No, Ah!
- Fucking, You piece of shit!
Ow, Ow.
No, Ian, Ian, no stop it!
Emily, sweetie, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to. You know
I would never mean to.
Just don't touch me!
I'm sorry.
It's okay, it's okay, just why?
I only did it because I loved you.
Then why him instead of me?
I had to find a way to show my father.
Hey.
Hey, honey.
How was school?
Good.
You taste nice, very minty.
Mm.
Have you been smoking again?
No, no, you know I finished
my last pack yesterday.
Ah, I see. Then what
were you trying to hide?
I'm not hiding anything.
You're a terrible liar, sweetie.
I'm not lying.
Then show me.
There's nothing to show you.
Okay, all right.
Okay, it's a surprise.
And it's gonna wait 'til
after your graduation.
- Fine.
- Yup.
Hey, there's something I wanna show you.
Oh yeah?
I drew this today.
What do you think?
Yeah, it's great.
You're not even looking.
Emily, it's just a drawing.
Oh, I guess you're right.
Wait, no!
Shit.
But you promised you wouldn't anymore.
Yeah look, I did
and I intend to keep it that way.
Then what were you trying to hide?
I.
All right.
What the hell.
Emily Jane McCormack, I love you.
And I would give up 1,000 years
if it means I could spend it with you.
So will you?
Save it until graduation.
Yeah.
Sure thing.
Ow! What was that for?
Lying to me.
I love you.
You're not ready. That's
what it is, isn't it?
You're not ready and
that's why you said no.
Ian, you know there's nothing
that I want more in this
world than to marry you.
Emily, come inside.
Just a second.
Just wait until I'm finished.
I can't say or do anything more until then.
Not while I'm under his roof.
Okay?
Yeah.
Okay
Well, I gotta go.
I'll call you later tonight then, yeah?
I love you.
It wasn't long until he found out.
It led me to hate him
after he pushed me away
because I chose to be with you.
You gonna help?
No, don't drop them now.
Oh, it's a maze in here.
Oh, there we are.
What?
Oh.
Ah, great.
Yes?
Yeah, all right.
I'll be right down.
That was Schmidt.
I need to head down again.
Clean up some massive mess.
Probably something left from
his big night out, you know.
First things first.
Look.
If I keep pushing, this promotion
will hopefully come through soon.
And then things will start happening.
Your father is gonna
come around, I promise.
I'll see you when you get back.
Don't go anywhere.
I'd hate to have to send
out a search party for ya.
And where am I gonna go?
Oof, I don't know.
Maybe into the arms of
some other lucky man.
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm yours, forever.
Now get going already.
Right, yes, good idea, sorry.
Love you!
I'd given up a lot
and I'd come too far to turn back.
A sudden epiphany had hit me.
Whether it was out of stupidity or not.
A decision had to be made.
I began drawing aimlessly to the point
of spilling out all my emotions.
I had tried to call my father several times
while you were at work but got no answer.
And then that day you came home
and told me you got that promotion.
Hey.
You wanna talk about anything?
Only you, my love.
How was your day?
You began working so much.
That dealership had you
wrapped around by the finger.
You began making that your first priority.
Hey where are you?
No, that's fine.
You do what you need to do.
Love you.
Bye.
I had realized
this had all been a mistake.
And I wasn't willing to go back.
I had to start anew and
pursue my own ambitions.
The ones you paid little attention to.
Uh, Miss McCormack.
I'm sorry, I was caught
up with another client.
That's all right.
Please, call me Janey.
Janey.
Well, um sorry.
Come on through.
You lead the way.
I had sat around for days
thinking what I had done.
Thinking about you.
Thinking about what my
father would have thought.
I didn't want him to see me as a failure.
I had a desire to be an artist.
I was prepared to show
everyone what I could do.
I sat and I observed this monstrosity
of a human being.
I knew he'd be perfect.
And I would carry on knowing
that I had made the right choice.
It may have been foolish
to have married Clarke
but I live by no regrets.
It got me to where I am now
and it led me back to you.
And now that you see, you were never there
when I needed you.
I had to do this all on my own.
All you cared about was
pleasing the dealership.
I was working, Emily!
For you, you're all I ever wanted.
All I ever wanted was you
and I worked damn hard for the things
I wanted for both of us.
What you wanted!
Did you ever think about what I wanted?
What I needed!
I loved you, Ian but it
just wasn't gonna work
and the last thing that I wanted
was for my father to have been right.
Everything all right in there?
And now I've shown you, this is my passion
and all that was left was
to have Clarke reflect
through my work and then he would see
that you were the right man from the start.
And Clarke may have ruined that,
but there's still time to set things right.
Devon.
It's all right.
The police are on their way.
You've got a lot of explaining to do.
Devon, listen to me.
You're drunk.
I can smell the alcohol on your breath.
Okay, save it until the police arrive.
Devon, you don't understand.
Let me explain and there'll be no need
to involve the police.
You motherfucker!
No, no, no!
Fucking get off me, you piece of shit!
I'm gonna fucking kill
you for what you did.
How fucking dare you!
And introducing Miss Emily McCormack.
I'm yours forever.
Shut up.
Shut up, Clarke!
You fucking ruined everything.
You dirt bag!
Ha, ha, oh please.
You got closure, Ian.
It's what you've always wanted.
I didn't want it like this.
Why, it's perfect.
My Janey was your Emily.
Your Emily was my Janey.
What better way to sum it up to a T?
Not like this.
How could she do this to me?
You and that fucking spade of yours.
Look, if anything, I think
this has done you some good.
Good?
How's it done me any good?
I just found out my ex fiance left me
to marry you, of all people.
And was it the right decision?
No, absolutely not.
I had everything going for me.
I could've given her so much.
And what did she decide to do?
Run off with some low life
with no real ambition.
And where did that get her?
Exactly where she wanted to be.
I tried so hard.
I didn't mean to neglect her.
I just wanted everything to work out
the way I'd planned.
Not everything goes to plan, Ian.
That's life.
You don't understand, though.
I loved her.
She was my whole world.
I can't imagine being
in a world without her.
Ugh.
You can live in a world without her, Ian.
Come live in mine.
I know it's fucked up and crazy
but at least I'm not wallowing
in a hole of sadness and self pity.
No, you're just psychotic.
Yeah, maybe so.
But at least I never let my
emotions get the better of me.
You got what you wanted, Ian.
What else is left?
Nothing.
All I'm left with is the pain.
The pain she left you with.
And everything that comes along with it.
It got you to realize, didn't it, huh?
Now all you gotta do is
let those scars fade.
I think all this had
to happen for a reason.
What?
You think I was meant to
be alone and miserable?
No, no, not at all.
I think the right girl
is out there for you,
it just wasn't Janey.
Oh, oh, and somehow Janey,
and her name is Emily!
You think she was right for you?
No, she wasn't right for either of us.
That's the point I'm trying to make.
Oh, there's a point.
Yeah, there is.
I got to see a different side of Emily.
I saw the side that you didn't get to see.
I knew what she was capable of.
Do you know what I did?
I just roll with it.
Because that's the kind of guy I am.
Not everyone's like you, Clarke.
Some of us have feelings.
And some of us have a
gut instinct telling us
when to back away.
And what, I had nothing to gain from this.
It led me to you, didn't it?
Because that's just exactly what I needed.
Bravo.
Well in your case, I think you did.
What are you getting at?
Look, would you have ever known the truth
about Emily if it wasn't for me?
Huh, would you?
Sure, the landlord might
have brought her over
and you might have found out that way.
But would you have ever
really have known the truth?
Hm?
See.
You needed me from the start.
Our lives intertwined because of her.
All it took was a few beers,
a few laughs, and few tears.
And I think above all, you
got one good thing out of it.
And what's that?
A friend.
Gibbons, you're being released.
Everything checks out.
That girl must have really loved you
to go through all that
bullshit to prove a point
to her father.
Bitch has some serious
daddy issues if you ask me.
And Ian.
You're the butterfly.
He's right, you know.
Who said that?
McManus, what are you doing here?
Woo!
Ah! Hey, hey, hey!
I can't believe what I'm hearing.
Well, you know what they say.
Shit happens when you party naked.
So how long you in for?
Oh, probably overnight.
- Yeah?
- You?
Oh, 'til I'm sober, unfortunately.
So Clarke finally got you to realize, huh?
And now it all makes sense.
I had a hunch from the start.
How?
How'd you have a hunch?
'Cause Clarke did the same
thing to me with my wife.
Life's got a funny way of repeating itself.
Yeah, oh.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, uh.
What the fuck is this?
Oh fuck.
So this is what it's come down to?
I didn't want you to find out like this.
Who is he?
Clarke?
Look, I'm sorry, man.
Look.
You stupid fuck!
Are they my gloves?
Yes, I mean, I mean no, no they're not.
Look, I don't know.
After everything I've fucking done for you,
you go and do this?
I'm your apprentice.
Come on man, I gotta do what you do.
Well, I hope she's paying you for this.
'Cause you're fired!
Don't you!
Come on bro, don't fire me.
Look, beers later?
Fuck off!
Are you still inside her?
Oh my god!
It took a long time to forgive him.
I spent many nights just wishing
I'd never walked through that door.
Don't be a stinge.
Yeah, cheers boys!
Then I realized if I hadn't,
my life woulda just kept on the way it was.
I'm not saying what Clarke
did was right, obviously,
but if he hadn't have done what he'd done
then I would have never realized
what my marriage really was.
And like you, I hang
onto this as a reminder.
Hopefully, I'll be able to let go one day.
I've done terrible things to myself.
I gave up on everything, my job.
She'd been the only reason
I kept pushing so hard.
After she left I, I guess
just stopped seeing the point.
But I do look back and I think to myself,
if I'd realized what Clarke
had been saying earlier,
that she was unworthy of my love,
would I have been better off?
Clarke's a strange one.
But he is good at making you
realize what's best for you.
Yeah, I'm beginning to see that.
He's unpredictable, that's for sure.
You never know what he's gonna do or say
but if there's one thing
I've learned from him,
is that you can never be too impulsive.
Oh god, you're gonna
turn out just like him.
Exactly.
Get some rest.
Things are gonna get better soon.
I'll see ya when it does.
Roberts, it's time to go.
Forget about her and this place.
This one's for you, McManus.
Thought you could get rid
of me that easily, could ya?
Clarke?
Scared the hell outta me, man.
Yup, I'm the big, bad boogie man.
Here to steal your girlfriend.
Too soon?
You got a minute?
All the time in the world, buddy.
How ya been, anyway?
Good.
You're kidding me,
McManus really said that?
Yeah.
Oh, that's insane.
He's a fucking nutter, that one.
Sit here.
So, what's news, buddy?
I guess I just wanted to thank you.
You really opened my eyes.
Ah, don't mention it.
So, what's next, fresh start?
Oh well first and foremost gotta go
and find myself a new house, a new job.
You know.
We can't all be like you, Clarkey.
Yeah, I'm doing all right, I guess.
Working for the council.
You're shitting me?
Yeah.
Congrats.
Good money?
Ah, it will be once they receive my fliers.
You're unbelievable, man.
Ah.
Oh, no fucking way.
No, fucking way.
Yeah way.
I thought you threw it away.
I may have been too drunk to recall.
So why do you still have it?
I don't know, I kept in the hopes
that maybe one day she'd come back
but she's engaged to someone else now.
Figured as much.
What do you mean?
Uh.
I guess the reason why
I did all that stuff was
was that I figured she
was seeing someone else
on the side, you know?
Yeah.
Each of her drawings had some
kind of symbolic reference.
And it wasn't that day 'til I realized...
It's funny, isn't it?
That she was-
What?
There.
Young love.
If only they had our luck.
Our luck is one in a million, buddy.
For argument's sake though, you know.
They would have severe marital problems.
Hm.
I think this just about
sums up everything, big guy.
There we go.
Good times.
You know, I know a place where
you can pawn off that ring.
No, I reckon I might keep it, actually.
Who knows, maybe someday the
perfect girl will come along.
What?
What?
- The perfect girl?
- Yeah.
Oh man, you're living
in a fantasy world, Ian.
The perfect girl doesn't exist.
All right, what about
just the right girl, then.
You know what?
I think that's one step closer.
So, you gonna get that?
No, I'm on break.
What are you doing?
Celebrating, my love.
Oh, the last champagne celebration
I recall didn't go so well.
Well, it doesn't matter.
That's all right.
What matters is we're here
and a date's been set.
Little early for my liking but
if you're happy, I'm happy.
I am, and especially with the place.
Even after everything that went down?
Yeah, I feel like it speaks to me.
Like it has the right aura for my work.
It's funny, the day they
dragged Ian out of here
he kept yelling out Emily as
if he was referring to you.
When he came to view the place,
he mentioned moving in
with his fiance Emily.
Turns out it wasn't meant to be
and he moved in alone, but he said it would
have been the perfect place for her.
I can imagine.
Why would you say that?
Jane?
Hm?
Oh, nothing forget it.
Well, if champagne
doesn't tickle your fancy,
how about we grab a bite to eat?
Sure, that sounds nice.
Thinking of Ian.
Did you notice, he actually did
a really good job on that lawn.
It looks fantastic.
Hm.
I feel like Chinese.