Man's Best Friend (1993) - full transcript

A genetically mutated dog is stolen from the lab of mad scientist Dr. Jarret by news reporter/animal rights advocate Lori Tanner, who conceals it from the police in her home. The dog, Max, endowed with intelligence and other special abilities, is at first lovable, but also proves to be a ferocious, unstoppable killer.

Come on.

This is ridiculous.

What is the deal with these people?

Come on, come on.


Who are you holding for?

Listen, I've been trying
to get ahold of Lori Tanner

for the last ten minutes.

I'm sorry,

she's not picking up in
her office right now.

Yeah, well, tell her
she just lost her story.

Hold on.

Maybe she's somewhere
else in the building.

Let me try and locate her.

Wrinkle-free, dirt-repellent polyester.

Is this working for you so far?


Is trying to make a comeback

from the disco decade.

Edit bay one.

Yeah, hold on a second.

Is finding new life

among top clothing designers.


Hi, this is Judy Sanders over at Emax.

Oh, God, Judy!

Thanks for calling me back.

You know, it's not my fault

that we're stuck
with this lightweight...

Shh, it's important.

I didn't expect to hear from you again.

Look, I can sneak you
into the lab tomorrow night

if you've still got that 500 you promised.

Yeah, yeah.

I just have to make sure you can

get me in to see the animals.

I got to know exactly
what's being done to them.

No problem.

Why don't you meet me at
8:30 at the north gate?

And don't be late.

I can't afford to get in trouble.

I'll be there.

Yes, yes!
- What?

Good morning, Mr. Perez.

Buenas dias, Senor Perez.

Buenas dias, Senor Perez.

How are you, Mrs. Perez?

Senor Perez?

How are you, Miss Perez?

Senorita Perez?

shut up!

Hello, sir.

Hola, senor.

Hola, senor.

Hello, madame.

Hola, senora.


Ladies and gentlemen.

I am pleased to meet you.

Thank you.



Por favor.



Annie, this is exactly the type of story

I've been looking for.

What do you know about animal rights?

You have a parrot that can't stand you.

It's topical, it's hard-hitting.

I think I can do something
significant with it.

You know, do an expose.

Who knows what goes on in that place?

We're already running late
on the polyester segment.

Polyester segment.

Please, give me a break.

It's drip-dry suits.

Oh that's real hard-core.

Excuse me, but that's what
we get paid to do around here.


How many times have we had this discussion

about what we'd do if we got a
chance to cover a real story?

No, I'm not going to
let you do this to me again.

You've got to shoot
this one for me, Annie.

You're the best.

Why can't we be like
everybody else, huh?

It doesn't make sense to
shoot the whole story on spec.

We should just sell
everybody on the idea first.

No, because they'll just gonna go

and put somebody else on it.

The only way we're ever gonna get to do

anything real here is if
we just shoot the story

and blow their socks off with it.

I'm doing this with or without you.

Come on, bring it up.

Uh, what is the deal?

It's nine o'clock.

What's her name, Judy, said
she'd meet us here at 8:30.

Maybe we should just get out of here.

There's no answer, damn it.

What are you doing?

I'm sneaking in.




Lori, wait for me.

Did your wife fix me up

with her sister yet or what?

Um, on second thought,

I don't think that's such a good idea.

I found out she won't be turning 18

for another eight months.

Hey, that's perfect, man.

If I was you,
I'd rewrite that personal ad.

Oh, come on, man.

I haven't gotten a date
from that personal ad.

Hey, listen, I was taking

a creative writing course one
time in community college.

I'll help you with it on my off night.

We'll get together,
we'll rewrite the thing.

Those things don't work.

I got one
more inside we got to get

before you take off.
- All right, let's do it.

So, yeah,
we'll just get together,

I think like, Wednesday night.

What's that smell?

Oh, my God, oh, my God.

Shoot it, shoot it.
- Okay.


I don't eat doughnuts all day.

I eat doughnuts in the evening.

I eat candy bars in the morning.

Hey, listen, listen, Dunkin,

you should try driving with
this shit in your trunk, man.

You ever get a whiff of this shit?

It stinks.

I'll buy
you some air freshener.

How do you like that?

This must be the place.

Got everything?

Have I ever forgotten
anything before?

Let's do it.

Oh, my God.

Look at this, look at this.

Annie, tape the rabbit.
- Got it, got it, got it.

Hey, pan down the row.

Look, they took her ear off.

Move in on this one, this one.

Look at the size of this wound.

Now pull back and get
the name of this monkey.

Okay, stay out of the shot.

These people are sick, look.

Look at her head.

And the tattoo on her face, too.

This is unbelievable.

Bring your camera up here.

Hold on, I'm coming.

Look at this place.

Look at this place.

We've got to get this whole
shot of the whole place.

I want people to really see
what's going on in here.

What kind of person could do all this?

55, dude.

Yeah, yeah.

Did he
take everything, Manning?

Yes, sir, Dr. Jarret.

Meet me around back.

I got some specimens

I want you to help me take up to the lab.


I'm not so sure about this.

Oh, no, look at this.

Do we have enough light to tape in here?

Yeah, it's good.

I can't believe
they're experimenting

on endangered species like these.

This is really strange.

I'm not even
sure if this is legal.

Annie, Annie, look at the bear.

Come on, come
on, what are you waiting for?

Be there in a second, doctor.

Get the other cage.

Get these doors here open.

This is a major piece.

We have got a real story.

This is going to work.


What's in here?

Did you see what was in here?

Let's just get out of here.

Here we have a rare, extinct


Let me get
that for you, doctor.

Take these
and put them in the lab.

Thank you.

What are they doing to you, huh?

I don't think you should be doing that.

I want to check him out.

He's not going to do anything.

Hey, what are they doing
to you around here, huh?

Poor little guy.

Hey, don't you look at me.

I didn't put you in there.

You were probably a lawyer
in another life, I bet.

What is this
thing they have on him?

What is this?

What are these wires?

Your rooms are ready.

Wake-up call's at six.

You can check in, but you can't check out.

Do you have us both in frame?

Yeah, why?

I want to do the intro to the story.

Are you crazy?

We can do that later.

No, it's perfect now, now.

Do I look okay?

You look beautiful,

hurry up.
- Dog slobber!


Is this dog really a noble sacrifice

donating his life for
the betterment of mankind

or is he simply an innocent victim

of the billion-dollar
vivisection industry?

In this, shit!

Shit, shit, doggie!

Max, Max!

Get back here.

- Where did he go?

Come on.

Hey, hey, hold it right there!

Hey, hold it!

Hold it right there, stop!



I'm trying, go, go!



What the hell are you doing here?


What's going on?

What are you doing out?



Halt, Max.

Good boy, good boy.

Max, you're scaring me.

I'm not angry with you.

I'm just tired.

Max, final command.








God damn it!

Where's the car?

Over there.

Come on, come on!

What are you waiting for?

Let's go!

Oh no.

Just get in, just get in the car.

You don't know

what you're doing!
Get in, get in!

Forget the dog!


Max, no!

Oh, man, oh, man, sucker!



Max, Max!

You said
they had a video camera.

Any idea why?

About six months ago there was a group

of animal rights fanatics
protesting outside the lab.

I called the police.

A couple of 'em tried to break in.

Maybe that's the connection.

Emilio, why don't you
see if we booked anyone?

Nah, nah, nah, nah.

The police did nothing.

Exactly what kind of
work do you do here?

I do genetic research
often using animal models.

You talking about vivisection?

Yes, I am.

Vivi what?

Vivisection those cruel experiments

they do on animals to
test out new products.

My girlfriend talks about it all the time.

She wants to make sure
things like the shampoo I use

are on a cruelty-free products list.

Well, your girlfriend is rather ignorant

like most of these animal rights people.

You try and tell her that.

Look, the kind of research I do here

is about saving lives, human lives.

That's what's important, isn't it?

I don't make eyeliner here

and I don't pour acid into monkeys' eyes

or stitch them closed, either.

Yeah, we get the picture, doc.

We'll be in touch.


I want Max back.

We're not talking about
a street mutt here.

We are talking about a
million-dollar research animal.

Well, for that kind of money

he should be able to
find his own way home.

Well, I'm sure
not sending him back there.

You saw that dumpster.

Yeah, but what are you

going to do with him in the meantime?

I don't know.

Guess I'll take him home.

Find another place for him.

Your boyfriend is gonna freak out

when he finds out where you got him.

Oh, yeah, right, Perry?

Perry won't even notice him.
- Yeah right.

Give me your purse!

- Okay.
- Give it to me!

You, too, bitch!

Give me the watch!
- Okay, okay.

Let her go.
- What else you got, huh?

Come on, what else you got?

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Oh, God.

Don't, don't do that!

You got any jewelry?

You want to watch me, mutt?


Oh, shit!

Hey, get this mutt away from me!

Get him, get him!

Yeah, yeah!

Right there.


Are you OK?

Son of a bitch.

Look at that.

Oh, God.

Max, how?

What did you do, Max?



My God, is this dog incredible or what?

Oh, boy.

Someone's hungry, aren't they?


This stuff smells so disgusting.

Wait till he goes to the bathroom.

I want to see something.

Would you sit?

Good boy!


Oh, that's a good boy.

Good boy.

I'm a natural at this.

He's a good boy, come here.

You just need to have a little scratch.

OK, get a really good, cute

Oh, look at that.

Oh, this is great.

This is a great shot.

Oh, my God.

Get a close-up of this.

Look at the size

of these scars.
- Right.

Wait a minute.

Let's see here, wait.

Somebody's been butchering
you, haven't they?

This is like in a concentration camp.

You poor dog.

Max, Max, come here, Max.

Max, sit, sit.

Max, sit.

You're so good.

You're so good, aren't you?

Hey, don't worry.

No one's going to hurt you again.

You protected me.

Now I'm going to protect you.


Damn truck.

Oh, thank you, Max.

You're sweet.

Turn around.

Baldy, baldy, baldy!

Aw, screw you.

Screw you!


Hey, Lori!

Come on out, I want to show
you those new menus I got.


Lori, what the hell's going on in there?

You okay?

Max, calm down!

I'll be with you in a second, honey!

You stay.

What the hell's going on?

What's that dog?


Annie and I were attacked
in the parking lot

at the market tonight.


Are you all right?

I'm okay.

Just some asshole with a
knife grabbed my purse.

Oh, God.

Did you call the cops?

I didn't have to.

This dog was in the parking lot.

He chased the guy off, and
then he went and got my purse

and brought it back for me.


He saved my life.

It was incredible.

You should've seen it.

He's a great guard dog.

- No, no, no.
- Great guard dog.

We are not keeping this dog.

That's like a 600 pound dog, Lori.

If he's that well-trained,

he's got to belong to somebody, right?

They're gonna want him back.


I, I feel a lot safer with him here

after what happened to me tonight.

Lori, you're always
doing this to me, you know?

You're always bringing something home.

You brought home that parrot,

that foul-mouthed, messy parrot.

Screw you.
And this ugly painting and...


It's just, the point is,
you don't ask me about it.

You know, I just come home,

and there's the stuff, right?

If you wanted a dog, you know

you should have just told me about it.

We'd go down, and we'd
pick out a nice dog,

the both of us like, right?

Don't you think that would
be a better way to do it?

Yeah, it could be, I guess.

Okay, good.

But he's already here.

No, Lori, no.

I, look, Why?

Forget it!

I don't even know what kind of home...

- No dog!
- I don't even know

if he has a home.
- No dog!

Why don't you
just try it with me!

If it doesn't work out,
we'll give him away.

If he stays, he stays in the backyard.

I don't want him running
around the house loose.

It's cold out there.

Whatever you say, honey.

Thanks for being understanding.

The toughest part of owning a restaurant

is picking out the stupid menu.

What do you think of this?


Oh, God!

What are you looking at?

That's disgusting.

How can you read that
before you go to bed?

You're gonna get nightmares.

- Perry, I'm trying...
- I don't want you to get

nightmares, sweetheart.
- I'm working here.

I want you to sleep real well.

I do, I want you to get
a good night's sleep.

You know what I mean?
- Yes.

Feels good, hmm?

Honey, I can't...


The dog's fine, really.

He's going to bark the first night.

That's just natural.


I can't, I can't get into this

with him making all that noise.

I have to go check on him.

I'm sorry.

- Okay.
- All right?


Better go check on him.

He could be hurt or something.

Who's going to hurt that dog?


Don't be too long, all right?

Oh, you

What are you making so
much noise for, huh?

You miss me?

You lonely out there, huh?

Huh, boy?


Come here, Max, Max.

Max, come here.

No, you can't go in.

No, you can't go in there.

No, you can't.

You can't go in.

- Lori!

All right, that's enough.



Oh, Max, go to hell, Max.

Get outside, out.

Oh, give me a break.

You're bad.


Okay, you can stay, okay?

But you have to be really quiet

because we don't want mean
old Perry finding out.


Hey, Lori, are you coming up or what?



Are you asleep?

- So, what took you so long?
- I'm sorry.

What was the matter with him?

He's lonely.

Yeah, I know how he feels.

I'm sorry.


So, what did you do to shut him up?

You know, I have a way with men.


You're such a liar.

Screw you, mutt!

Oh boy.

Is that that dog outside the door?

You let that dog in the house, Lori.

I did.

He, he was crying out there.
- How could you do that?

I agreed to let you keep him, didn't I?

The least you could do is.

You got to meet me
halfway on this one, Lori.

Okay, okay.

No, Max, no, Max!

No, Max, no, Max, no, Max!

Get him out!

Got to go, Max.

Come on, Max, come on, Max.

We're going now.
- Lori!

Get him out, Lori!

Out, get him, Lori!

Get him out!
- See what you did?

He's upset now.

Get him out, please.

Over, 23 and seven, 10-34.

Based on the descriptions you gave us

we have several suspects.

All of them have prior arrests

for illegal animal rights
activities and so forth.

So, what we want you to do

is take a look at a couple
of these pictures here.

Good, thank you.

Hey, doc, have a seat.

I think we got something for you here.

Can I
have a glass of water?

These are our prime suspects.

Oh, thank you.

I'm not sleeping too good.



Take your time.

No, nothing.

What are we going to do now?

We're dusting for prints.

I'm waiting to hear from the lab.

Uh, no good, came up empty.

You know, we're on
borrowed time, fellas.

All right, doc, doc, look.

You're a little strung out.

You're tired.

Why don't you go home?

We'll round up a few suspects.

This bullshit is not gonna do anything.

What we gotta do is go out
there and rescue my dog.

We're doing the best we can.

I'll tell you something.

I've given a dangerous
and experimental animal

a neuropathic drug to keep
him stable, to keep him calm.

When that drug wears
off, he is going to snap!

Hey, don't do that kind of shit in here!

We're sitting on a time bomb

and you're talking about going
out and dusting for prints!

Don't tell us how to do our job.

You don't get it, do you?

Max is fragmenting.

He's coming apart.

If I don't get him tonight

he's going to go through
a psychotic episode.

You're the only fucking
psycho around here.

Hey, where you going?

We're not done.

We're not talking about
man's best friend here.

Sorry, pooch.

Oh, my God!


I'm sorry, okay?

Okay, I'm sorry!



Come here, boy, breakfast!

Hey, Mr. Ed.

Now, today's word is fart face.

Can you say fart face?

Fart face, fart face.

Very good.


Hey, Lori.

Rudy, how you doing?

I'm doing fine, but I'm starving.

What are you making?

Fruit and yogurt, want some?

No, thanks, I'm allergic.

Well, go ahead,
look in the fridge.

There's carrot sticks and
apples, some celery juice

Cool, pizza!

Some pizza.

It's been in there a week.

Yeah, just like at home.

Who's that?

Wow, when did you get the dog?


Oh, man.

This guy's even bigger than my collie.

What's his name?


Hey, Max, want to come in?

Come on in.

Hey, don't let him get my pizza.

Come here, come here.

He's not allowed in the house.

Can I bring him over to
my house to meet Heidi?

Does that sound like fun?

He's so cute.

All right, hand me his leash.

All right, there you go.

Keep your eye on him.

I will, I will.

Be careful.

Bring him back in one piece.

You don't trust me?


Rudy, close the gate when
you bring him back, okay?


Oh, hi, doggie.

You want to help me fix this thing?

You could go over

and get that brake line if you wanted to.

Whoa, good boy, Max.

Hey, Heidi, say hello to Max.

Ah, you like her, huh?

Mm, Mm, mm, Max.



You're going to wake up my dad!


Shut up, Max, quiet!

Rudy, what the hell's going on out here?

You know I've been working all night.

Oh, It's nothing, dad.

Max just wanted to play with Heidi.

Doesn't want
to play with him, okay?

Now get him out of here
so I can get some rest.


Come on, Heidi.

Come on, Max, let's go see Chet.


All right, good noose.

Worthy of the SPCA.
- Stop, stop, stop!

Stop, Max stop!

Don't mess with the pros, hairball.

Hey, chill, fleabag, or
I'll stun gun your butt.

We got him.


What do you think you're doing?

I wasn't gonna light it.

Go ahead, kill yourself.

At your age and weight

you're a perfect candidate
for a heart attack.

I'm trying to quit, aren't I?



I'm gonna put you on
a real fitness program.

Christ, you're worse than my wife.

In six months, you
won't recognize yourself.

Yeah, 'cause I'll be dead.

What's this crap?

Missing persons.

Gets a call from a guy named Bill Sanders.

His wife Judy doesn't
come home last night.

Guess where she works?


You're shitting me.

Pulled a
photo off the computer.

Take a look.

Maybe we'd better have another

visit with the good doctor.

Judy Sanders only worked
for me for about three months.

I didn't really know her very well.

Her husband says she
left for work that morning.

Well, she never arrived.

That's all I know.

What about my dog?

Any leads?

Keep your shirt on, doc.

We're on top of it.

We already fed the
description into the computer.

All units have been alerted,
including animal control.

I have to show you something.

Friday, bring up the promo material.

One moment, please.

Voice activation.

You know, when you think of guard dogs

you usually think of German shepherd.

They're loyal, smart, lethal,

but not good enough.

And now, with the
development of the Emax-3000

they're totally obsolete.

You see, Max, as I call him,
is not your typical dog.

He's a genetic crossbreed.

A mutt.

I don't mean a mutt, sir.

Look around you.

Each of these animals is endowed

with a specific desirable trait

that is dedicated to their survival.

If you took the DNA from each

and genetically spliced it

into the DNA of a breed of a dog

you would have a magnificent creature.

You've actually been able to do this?

Enhance sight, hearing,

strength, speed, stamina

the ability to climb
with jaguar-like agility

even a chameleon-like capability

to camouflage itself if threatened.

Each of these traits
have been bred into Max.

His intelligence is so advanced

that he can operate as a stand-alone unit

without a human handler.

He can comprehend almost
350 spoken commands.

Is that in English or in Spanish?

You take your pick, detective.

What I am trying to tell you

is that in the right hands,

Max can save thousands of lives.

In the wrong hands, he
can be a deadly weapon.

Boy, did my brother
cut one this morning.

Grossed me right out of the kitchen.

Sounds like it was
nuclear winter in there.


Look, there's Mrs.
Barclay's stupid cat Boo.

I hate that dumb cat.

He always tries to scratch me.

Me, too.

Get him, Max!

Sic 'im, come on!

Come on go, Max!

Go, go, Max, go get him!

Yeah, come on, Max!

Get him!
- Yeah, yeah!

Kick his ass, come on!

- Yeah, get him!
- Come on, come on!

Come on!


You sicked him on that cat, not me.

Oh, no, no, no, you did.

We better get out of here.

Mrs. Barclay is gonna kill us!

Forget about it!

We just got to get out of
here before he gets us, too!

Oh, man!
- I told you not to!

Shut up!

That was your fault!

Hey Chet, shut up, shut up!

It's the brake lines.

You're kidding.

Yeah, like, 200 bucks.

You got the checkbook?


You got it on you?


Hey, listen why don't we finish

what we started last night, huh?

Because I'm already late for work.

Come here.

Curtains are open.

So what, nobody's watching.

It's 8:37.

It's a beautiful day here
in the Tri-State area.

Long too!

Well, come around, idiot.

Come around!

You stupid mutt!

Put a lid on that dog, huh?


Hey, stop!


You stupid mutt!

No, no, no, Max.

Come on.

You have to, Max, you have to stay, Max.

Go on, you have to stay.

Good boy.

I'll be back in a little while.

I just have to go to work.

It's okay.

I have a deadline to meet.


Don't do this to me, Max.

You stay.

Do what dogs do guard the house, you know?

- Come on, we got to go.
- Dad

I don't want to be late.

Come on.

Come on, Heidi, you
have to stay at home, come on.

You don't want
to miss the game, do you?

Okay, I'm coming.

You locked
the front door, did you?

You think I'd forget?

All right.

Let's go.

♪ And they called it puppy love ♪

♪ Oh I'll guess they'll never know ♪

♪ How a young heart ♪

♪ Really feels ♪

♪ And why I love her so ♪

♪ And they called it ♪

♪ Puppy love ♪

♪ Just because we're 17 ♪

♪ Tell them all it's ♪

♪ Well at least them ♪

♪ It isn't fair ♪
- Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!

♪ To take away my only dream ♪
Come here, boo!

Let's get to work.

See how this tape turned out.

I need a cappuccino.

You want one?

Can we just get into this, please?

So, how was Max last night?

He was a pain in the ass

but he's got such a personality.

How did Perry handle it?

Oh, he loves Max.

Yeah right.

You didn't tell him where
you got that dog, did you?

He'll see it on the news.

I think something's gnawed

through your brake line somehow.

I had my brake lines
changed just this morning.

See for yourself, huh?

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, God, he's trying to kill me.

Who's trying to kill you?

My girlfriend's dog.

Yeah, right.

I like that.

Yo, Frank, over here.

What do we got, Dan?

One of the box boys found
a body behind the dumpster.

It's pretty bad.

Fits the description of the mugger

that's been terrorizing the mall.

Jesus Christ!

Get ahold of Jarret.

I want him to look at this.

You won't be mugging anybody no more, pal.

The lacerations, the
power, the efficiency,

yes, it was Max.

Put this bastard out of business.

Put him out of business?

He killed him, for Christ's sake.

That's what he was designed to do, sir.

What is the matter, detective?

You upset that Max did your job for you?

Want to see me do my job?

Yeah, do your job.

I'll do my job, all right.

Emilio, get on the blower

and tell every black and white in San Remo

that if they find this, this canine

to blow its friggin' head off!

I wouldn't do that if
I were you, detective.

I don't think this city could survive

a multimillion dollar lawsuit

'cause you went off half-cocked.


Somebody died here.

This was a predator who
preyed on innocent people.

People have to cower in their homes

because you two are standing
around bullshitting.

Eat shit.

Max doesn't deserve a bullet.

He deserves a medal.

Friday, what is the
maximum amount of time left

before Max becomes
completely destabilized?

One moment, please.

Five hours, 29 minutes and 14 seconds.

And the minimum?

The minimum time has already expired.

Hi there, buddy.

Hey, big fella.

Easy now, boy, easy, easy.

Take it easy now.

Don't be stupid.

You must be new in the neighborhood.

I think it's time we met.

Try something, you son of a bitch.

Dr. Jarret?

I found something.

Hey, Glen, you got any
blank tape I can steal?


I gotta have
those in by next Monday.

I'm sorry.

- Hurry.
- I'm trying.



We're in big trouble.


I just saw Dr. Jarret out front.

Oh, hi, Lori.

This is Deborah at the front desk.

Yeah, I've got a Dr.
Jarret here to see you.


I'm sorry, sir, Miss Tanner's
not available right now.

Hey, look, it's urgent
that I talk to her.

Sir, please step outside.

Where are you going?

I just, I got to do something with Max.

What are you gonna do with him?

I don't know!

Hide him.

Put him in a kennel somewhere.

Lori, that's probably the first place

he'll go looking for him.

You just have to give
him away to somebody.


I don't know.

Check the paper.

There's got to be somebody
looking for a great guard dog.

Sir, please leave
the building peacefully

or I'm going to have to call security.


- Don't make me do this.
- Now, wait a second.

Come on, listen.

Don't do that.

Please, sir, leave the building.

She is not available to
talk to you right now.

Call her back and just tell her...


- Excuse me, sir.
- Wait a minute.

You're going to have to step outside.

Get the hell out of here.

Come on, let's go,

let's go.
- Okay, okay.


Hey, Lori!

Hello, fart face, hello!

Hello fart face.

Hello fart face.


Oh, Max!

I got something for you, Max.


Hey, buddy, how you doing?

Look what I got for you, huh?

Look at that.

Some nice steak tartare
from the restaurant

and it's all for you, buddy, okay?

Good boy.

Go ahead, eat up, boy.

That's it.

I made that special for you, all right?

Go on, Max, eat up, buddy.

It's good, yum yum yum.

Eat the food, Max.


fleabag, muttonhead!



Hi, Max.

Come on, boy, come on, boy.

We got to go for a ride.

That's a good boy, come on.

Come on, good boy, come on.

Oh good boy.

Okay, stop stuffing
your face for one minute.

I got news.

I think Dr. Jarret's psychotic
superdog killed Judy Sanders

the girl who disappeared from Emax.

Check this out.

He got his Ph.D. from Berkeley at 20.

By the time he was 28

he was patenting this
new synthetic hormone.

Made him a multimillionaire overnight.

All right, he's got a wonderful resume.

What else?

Here's where the story gets interesting.

About six years ago, Jarret gets busted

experimenting on endangered species.

His investors pulled out

and he's rejected by the
scientific community.

He has a nervous breakdown.

About a year later he
gets out of the hospital,

takes Emax private

and starts breeding these
friggin' guard dogs.

He's got everything he has
riding on their success.

He'd do anything to protect that animal.

I say we get a warrant, go to Emax.

I bet we find the body.

Hey Ray.

- Hi.
- Hey, how are you doing?

Want to set up all day long.

- Nothing as soon as it ends.
- Very much.

See the scars?

- Yeah.
- Got to get them.

Go all the way up and down.


Do you have us both in frame?

Yeah, why?

I want to do the intro to the story.

Are you crazy?

We can do that later.

No, it's perfect, now, now.

Do I look okay?

You look beautiful, just hurry.

Dog slobber.



Come here, boy.

Come on, I'm not going to hurt you.

Well how are we going to become friends

if you're going to act like that?

I've got a nice piece of rawhide for ya.

You know you want that.

Come get it, come get it.

You're a big dog.

Handsome, too, aren't ya?

I bet you get all the girls, huh?

Hey, you want some more?

Boy, I sure would like to have him around.

So, where would Max live, exactly?

Well, not here, that's
for sure.


No, I got a big ranch
with about 15 acres

out in Chatta Hills.

My dog Wayne used to love it out there.

That sounds great.

There's plenty of room to run around in

rabbits to chase, creeks to swim in.

Dog's got a good life if he's with me.

I need to know I can have
him back if things change.

This isn't easy.

Oh, he'll be all right.

Just give him a couple
of days up at the ranch,

he won't even remember you.

I'm sorry, Max.

I have to do this.

Otherwise, they're going to
take you back to the lab.

Remember I promised I
would take care of you?


Besides, Ray's going to look after you.

Isn't that right, Ray?

That sure is right.

We're gonna have a great time together.

Aren't we, Max?

Okay, Max, you be good.

Stay with Ray now, okay?

I'll be back for you.

You'll be fine, boy.

Easy, boy, easy.


That's enough of that.

Now settle down, boy.

She dumped you, just like they all do.

I said settle down, you
worthless piece of dog shit.

I asked you nice, didn't I?



Look, I don't know if you're
gonna believe this or not

but I think your dog
tried to kill me today.

What are you talking about?

Well, he gnawed through my brake lines

and I almost crashed
going down the highway.

That's crazy, Perry.

Oh, I know it's crazy,

but I swear to God it's true, Lori.

And then when I finally
got home, he attacked me.

The dog's got to go.

He's gone, okay?


I just gave him away.

Lor, Lori

What's the matter, boy?

Don't you like my ranch?

Living at the end of that chain

is gonna make you the meanest
junkyard dog in the city.

Shut up!

You going to shut up or not?

Okay, you asked for it.

Now you're gonna get it.

Come on, boy, come on, Max.

Come on, Max.

Now you're going to be a hot dog.

I'm going to teach you a lesson.

I'm going to burn your ass bad.

Get off me!

Look, I'm telling you,

Dr. Jarret just ran
out a little while ago.

I mean, he told us to pack everything up.

I'm sure when Dr. Jarret gets back,

he'll explain everything.

Do you know a woman named Judy Sanders,

one of the ladies who used to work here?

Not really.

I mean, I said hello to her

a couple times in the hallway.


We think Judy is dead,

and Dr. Jarret is responsible.


Tell us where he went.

Yeah, I think we got it, Doug.

All right, that's good.

You know, I'd like to take

about a five minute break.

This guy's here
for the rest of the job.

Yeah that should do it.

- Shoot the rat.
- I got it, I got it.

Pan down the row.

Remember me?

Where's my dog?

Hey, man, it wasn't my idea.

You gotta talk to Lori.

Where's Lori?


Oh, my God.


Where did you come from?

I got him for you.

Do you like him?



I can't believe you did this.

Yeah, I know.

Me, neither, really.

But I was feeling kind of bad you know,

'cause I know how much you miss Max.

And also I figured now was my chance

to get a dog in here that I liked, too

before you brought home,

before you brought home another monster.

He's cute.

Mm-hmm, what is he?

I don't know.

The lady at the pet shop she swore to me

that he wasn't gonna get
much bigger than this.

So he's a little dog.

That's what he is.

Looks like he should be a Barney or?

No, Spike.

I've been calling him Spike.

He likes it.

- Spike?
- Yeah.

He acts like a Spike, watch this.

This is his favorite thing,
- Spike?

this plug.

Go get it, Spike, go get it.

Honey, that's not, that's not,

that's dangerous.


- Hmm.

It's very sweet of you.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I love you, Lori.

I know.

Thanks for getting rid
of Max for me, honey.

I really didn't like him
very much.

I got to go to work, honey.

I'm, I am late.

Spike, no, no.

Don't play with that.

- Lori?
- Rudy.


Meet Spike.

Where's Max?

Oh, Max's owner decided to take him back.

You're lucky.

What do you mean?

Uh, nothing.

I'm going to make a milk shake, okay?

Voila, stir.

Um, look, just take it easy, okay, Max?

Just take it easy.

Max, look, everything's okay, buddy.

Take it easy now.

Look, you went after me first, Max,

and I went after you so we can just

call it even then, okay?

And we can be friends.

Oh no!

Oh, damn.


Oh, God, Max.

Max, no, no!

Oh, Rudy, Rudy.

Open up, let us in!



There he is!

Stay down!

Let's go, let's get this mutt!

Right over there.

Come on, come on.

Let's go, Emilio!

Get in there, you wimp.

All units, all units.

We have a 1091-A.

Vicious dog, pursuit in progress.

- Oh, yeah.
- Come on.

We got to get in on this.

We ought to be.

Any available
units, please respond.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, let's go, floor it!

He's turning right on Albuquerque.

Adam 361.

Split off.

We'll try to box him in.

You got it, we're in pursuit.

He's turning on Montecito!

Don't lose him!

Rank amateurs.

Uh, roger that.

Close in on him, now!

We got him, we got him.

Ram him, run him over!

He's ours now.

Move over, rover, so
the pros can take over.

You ready for some action?

Cocked and loaded,

armed and dangerous, baby.

All right, let's bag this puppy.

I've got a weird feeling about this.

Come on, man.

Here, puppy.

Good doggy.

Here, puppy.

- Go, go, go!
- I'm going, I'm going,

I'm going, okay!

What was that?

I've never seen this before.

What's going on?

Stay back, folks.

You folks stay back.

- Move please.
- Stay clear

of the area, please.

Okay, ma'am, to the side.

Just stay back there, please.

I heard there was

some kind of wild animal
that got in there.

Okay, people, let's go home.

Show's over.

They tell me he's going to be okay.

We'd like to ask you
some questions inside.

Maybe, but what was that?

I'll be in here, Emilio.

Where do you think you're going?

There's nothing you can do

for your boyfriend now.

I have to go to the
hospital to be with Perry.

Hey, the way I look at it,

you only got two choices.

One you walk out that
door, and we arrest you.

Two you stay here and help us catch

this friggin' psycho mutt.

'Cause I got a hunch he's
coming back here to you.

I'll do whatever I can to help.

I'm sorry.

All right, all right, all right.

Sit tight.

We'll take care of everything.

All units.

Ergo, 10-5 in progress,
proceed with caution.

E-5 over.

It's, uh all clear out here, Frankie.

Okay, Emilio. Let me
know if you see anything.


We'll call you if we need you.


It's going to be OK, Spike.

Everything's going to be all right.

Unit 214, traffic accident

at the corner of 8th Street and 14th.

Possible injuries.

Code three, call me when you get to scene.


Get in!

Let me out!

I just need you long enough

to get Max to follow us to Emax.

Then you can go to hell.

Stop the car!

- Stop it!
- Stop it!

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Why didn't you leave me alone?

What about those animals at your lab?

What about what you're doing to them?

They mean nothing.

The project is what's important.

Don't you understand that?

- No. I can't.
- Gimme that.

You know what, you
broke the bond with Max.

And if I don't sedate him,

he's going to turn on you

just like he did on me.

Max, Max!

Release, Max, release!



Spike come here.

Don't, get out.

He'll kill you.




Get away from my dog.

Get away from him!




Lori, Lori, come here!

You got to come see this, come on!

Okay, come on, Spike.

Let's say hi to Rudy.

Come on.

You won't believe this, come on.



Oh, no, look at them!

Aren't they cute?

Oh, come here.

Hey, you want one?

You want one?

Oh, look, Spike's jealous.

♪ And they called it puppy love ♪

♪ Oh I guess they'll never know ♪

♪ How a young heart really feels ♪

♪ And why I love her so ♪

♪ And they called it puppy love ♪

♪ Just because we're, we're seventeen ♪

♪ Tell them all it ♪

♪ At least tell them it isn't fair ♪

♪ To take away my only dream ♪