Man in Outer Space (1962) - full transcript

A workman is accidentally sent into outer space, where he meets an alien that can make himself invisible. They return to Earth in the year 2447. Complications ensue.

(Rocket Factory Strakonice)

Could you say a few words
to the viewers of our TV weekly.

How did you prepare for the flight
and do you look forward to the voyage?

I've been preparing
for the flight quite...

The director wants to speak to you.
Listen, Captain,

I've heard you complained that
I didn't put padding in your couch.

Of course I did. - I'm to fag myself out
at the last minute, eh!

You'll never fag yourself out! Come on!
- I'm coming.

Our viewers will excuse us,

but all around us,
finishing work is under way

for the test flight of the huge
cargo spaceship,

a prototype from the Rocket Factory
in Strakonice,

which for the first time in Earth's
history will carry from our planet...

I won't go nuts over the captain.
See you.

Oh-la-la, I am magnific...

If only the astronauts
weren't so spoiled.

If I were the director, I'd fire him.

Damned captain.
- Joseph! Joseph!

What took you so long?

I won't stand your moonlighting
jobs any longer!

I'm almost finished, boss.

It's glued
and I'm off!

What's this supposed to mean?

We can begin, Director.

Ladies and Gentlemen, at last...

What's this supposed to mean?

It's starting!

Calling Omega 26.
Calling Omega 26.

Hello, hello! - What happened?
- Assist in emergency landing.

Hello, BX 7 C?
Assist in emergency landing.

Due to the premature launch it's out
of control of the navigation stations.

Hello, Omega 26?
Assist in emergency landing.

Of course I will complain,
I was chosen by the committee!

I've been preparing for three years!

Do you know what it is to eat
nothing but fungi and weeds?

What will I tell the management?

Who was it?
Who was it!

Who was it?
Who was it?


Story by
Screenplay by / In Cooperation with

Art Director

Special Effects

Sound Editor
Film Editor

Costume Designer
Set Designer

Make Up Artist
Costumes by

Music by
Film Symphony Orchestra Conducted by

Electronic Music by
Electronic Instrument Designed by

Assistant Director
Associate Producers

Director's Assistants

Camera Assistants
Art Director's Assistants

Film Editor's Assistants
Make Up Assistants

Production Assistant
Chief Lighting Technician

In the lead role


Produced by

Director of Photography

Directed by

Made by the Creative Group

In the meantime, upholsterer Joseph
was flying through space,

where a century seems as a mere week,

until he finally landed
on the Blue Star.

It was inhabited by beings
similar to humans.

They gave Joseph a friendly welcome

and enabled him to return back.

They provided him with fuel
and an experienced guide

who had a special mission.

To establish contact between
the Blue Star and Earth.

That's him.

Joseph started calling him Adam.

Adam was a very bizarre creature.

He lacked certain human properties.

While, on the other hand,
he had a fantastic technical brain.

For him, everything was a formula.

At first, he used a translator device,

as human language caused him trouble.

I'll jump on a horse,

my sabre will shine.

And my sweetheart...
I was wondering, Adam,

are we really flying home?

I want back to Earth
and not to some pole star.

Position of Earth calculated.

Are you sure we won't miss?

There's only one Earth
in the whole Universe.

One, two, three, four, five...
- I know you're good at this.

But you have to learn the whole language
and not just the words you like.

With your capabilities,
I could do wonders.

Listen, come to think of it,

you actually could...
The weed is wishy-washy.

You could figure out the lotto
numbers for me every week.

You'd work all day
and I'd go out in the evenings,

that would be a fabulous life.

If you'd figure out a formula
to make a heaps of bucks.

Bucks - untranslatable.

How should I explain it.
Bucks mean money...

And money means a good life.

Money are coins like this.
When you have them, you can do anything.

Ten. Is it a formula?

No, this is a five-heller piece.
And your weed isn't worth even that.

A beer would do me good.

That mayor of yours, the one with
the big antenna, he drank quite a bit.

A banquet is a banquet, eh?

Look, Adam.

Look, Adam.

My calculations are correct.
We are drawn by Earth's gravitation.

Beware, I am changing the direction.

Where am I?
Am I up or down?

Wait. Do you hear that?

Oh my, look at her.

Mother Earth.

My native globe.

I feel like that man... Columbus.

He probably couldn't shave
just like me, could he?

I wonder what
the folks are doing.

How Mary is.

Oh my.

Could you land in Strakonice?

I've got no money
for the train, you see?

My goodness, it's beautiful.
Home, geese.

What are you doing? Adam!

Where are you, Adam?
Come here. Where are you?

Don't leave me here. Who'll control
the rocket? We're almost home.

Where are you? Come back.
Where did you go? Come on, Adam!

A natural phenomenon.

I become invisible

due to Earth's magnetic field.

I can see myself.

And you too. How can that be?
You're making fun of me.

What's that in your hand?
Give it to me.

What is it?
What do you do with it? Like this?

Retuti - affects my visibility

in your magnetic field.

But it's not working.

It's not working.

Wait. Do you know what this means?

To be invisible whenever you wish.

Do you know how you could get on
in the world? It's a priceless asset!

Lmmediately clear landing area No. 6!

Lmmediately clear landing area No. 6!

An unidentified spacecraft
is approaching runway 18A.

Draw the spacecraft to ramp 6
with the spacecraft pullers.

We're falling, Adam. Slow down.

Nothing can happen, can it?
The force is so strong.

Is the carburettor O. K?

We're in some foreign country.

They left the engines on.
- They landed against all traffic rules.

They should go back
to Sunday rocket school.

Ramp 6,
use the extirpator for the crew.

Ramp 6,
use the extirpator for the crew.

Wait, don't open it.
We're someplace else.

What if it's the Big Dipper?

This isn't Earth.

Lift off! Lift off!

Quick! Take off!

What's wrong?

For heaven's sake,
engage the cosmic speed.

At least bottom gear.
- I cannot.

Something is preventing the launch.

An unknown force.
- We're in big trouble.

Give it to me, quick.

Can't you do something
to make it work on me too?

It's not working.
You're so selfish!

It's enough
if you protect your own skin, eh?

I'm in big trouble.

Why didn't I become a postman.

Stay invisible and close to me.

If things get bad, I'll...
You'll help me.


That's strange.

It's registering two people
but I can see only one.

The screen is probably malfunctioning.

Help! I'm your friend!

Whoever you are...
friendship, druzhba!

Freundschaft! Freundschaft!
I am a friend! Say something.

Dear creatures,
dear Big Dippers,

I have a diplomatic mission.

He must be injured.

Get me the space psychiatric station.
- Got it.

What happened?
- Send an ambulance shuttle.

Probably shock from rough landing.
- I'm sending it.

Meanwhile, perform disinfection and
report the incident to Engineer Peter.

He's with the Academician.
- We will.

Why didn't you turn off the engines?
There must be excessive energy pressure.

They are not responding to remote
stelarphone deactivation.

They have unknown fuel.
- What?

Unknown fuel? - Yes, sir.
- I'm on my way.

Don't go.
The ship may explode.

I must get inside.
- Peter!

Engineer Peter must be crazy.
- Why is he going inside?

Whenever he sees fuel...

I... ich...

- Shut up.

My... Earth...

I fly here.

Did your ship break down?
- You understand me?

Do you understand us?

Technology is probably less developed
on your planet, isn't it?

Yes, it's poorly developed
compared to yours.

Where am I?

I was flying to Earth but
the control devices broke down.

Our devices can never match yours.
One can see that from the material.

But you are on Earth.
- I know, but I mean Earth,

with capital E.
- Yes, Earth.

Europe, the Bohemian Basin.

Landing area 3789.

You're here.
- You won't fool me.

I know Earth.
I was born there!

So were we.
- You don't say!

That's just fabulous.

What are you doing out here?
It's the Big Dipper, isn't it?

I knew it at once.
- Sick bay. I'm calling the sick bay.

Is somebody sick?
I have bicarbonate somewhere.

Where's the ambulance?
Hurry up.

I don't want to take your time.
- Wait, wait.

Log: July 4, year 508.

A spacecraft of an unknown type
landed in the Bohemian...

Wait. What did you say? - Sorry?
- What did you say?

What year is it?
- 508.

For Christ's sake!

Before or after Christ, gentlemen?

After Sputnik.

After Sputnik...

(Sleep - Medium)
508 years after Sputnik.

(Sleep - Medium)
508 years after Sputnik.

That's the year 2465. Oh my!

Grandpa, Mary.
- How do you feel?

- Do you feel pain? - Mary.

Did you experience any difficulties?
- Adam! Adam!

Did you have any difficulties?

I've always had difficulties.
At first it were growing pains.

Then came heart difficulties,

financial, family, career difficulties.
- Career difficulties?

The heart difficulties
got me into financial difficulties.

And the financial difficulties
got me into family difficulties.

And the family difficulties
got me into career difficulties.

Because everything is connected.

And where do you feel
the career difficulties?

Here or over here?

Not there. In the factory.

Odd jobs, you know.
But I wasn't the only one.

Kulhanek was stealing foam rubber!

What are you talking about?
Where are you from?

Is it being recorded?

I've always strived

to be the best,
the most hard-working

and the most productive worker,
and lately...

How did you get there?
- Get where? To the factory?

Afriend got me the job.
But he did it gladly.

No, I mean in space.

I've put my foot into it.

I told you everything I know.
I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Say Lora.

Say Popocatepetl.


Leave the device alone,
you do not understand it.

Leave the device alone,
you do not understand it.

Don't take such a risk
next time, Peter.

It is useless.

You are wrong.
This spaceship is worth it.

It's prehistoric and grimy.

I'd say Noah travelled in it.

With snails. Look.

What is down there?

Do you see those measuring devices?

Did you find something?

Show me.

Hello, Peter! Do you hear me?


Made in Austria.

Hey, Peter.

What have you got there?

Afirelock and this.


Look at the year on it.
- Nineteen hundred...

It's six or eight, I can't read it.

Alright, but where did you get
such firelock?

Firelock? I had it with me.

Why? I bought it at a duty-free.

We must look at the map to see
where that Dutyfree was located.

So this is money
from the first century?

Yes, coins.
- And you say you lived in that time?

I told you.
- Tell me,

who was the first to fly
over the English Channel?

Probably some pilot.


When did socialism succeed
in Luxembourg?

What? In Radio Luxembourg?

You don't say, gentlemen!


I beg your pardon, I would...

I would like to ask one question too.

Am I here or there now?

To be more precise...

Is this the East or the West?
I mean as regards representation.

He is from the first century. - This is
an event of global significance.


Stations from the whole system are
interconnected for today's conference,

Stations from the whole system are
interconnected for today's conference,

as we are able to meet
a man from the first century.

I am glad to have met him.

He will enable our centre
to conduct research

concerning the nature
and the control of human aging.

This man has survived for 500 years.

And he seems to be quite sane.

Tell us something to prove this.

Dear present and absent,

before I tell you anything, allow me

to tell you something.

Since the very beginning...

since... I have told myself

that it was unconditionally
and absolutely necessary

for us to...
...and I would like to emphasize

that not all of that is...

If you understand
what I want to say.

We do not understand.
- How come?

Calm down, please.

We would like you to answer
some questions. - I have one.

What fuel did you have?
It is quite different from ours.

Really? Well, the fuel...
the fuel was...

The fuel was in the rocket.
Or wasn't it?

I had to have fuel otherwise
the ship would not do that shhh.

Listen, do you know
that it would be interesting

to know what sort
of fuel it was, wouldn't it?

Our instruments have shown
that he is an undeveloped being.

We should not have woken him.
He is nothing but a waste of time.

Connection terminated.

We do not need to listen to this.

Connection terminated.

Connection cancelled.
We're disconnecting.


They gave me fuel.
On the star where I landed.

You landed on a planet
inhabited by living creatures?

I certainly did.

In the area of Orion?

Yes, precisely.


Special message.

The man from the first century claims

he discovered a new planet
with unknown living creatures.

Hello, hello. Mogadishu calling.

We are interested in the description
of the living creatures.

This is Hanoi, this is Hanoi.

We need information about the flight.

Mars station 005.

What civilization
did you encounter?

This is Numerin,
the Centre for Mathematical Sciences.

How did you calculate the planet's orbit
and the spaceship's path.

With the aid of numbers
and thus mathematics,

higher mathematics and mainly...
- Joseph,

I have found my translator device.

Moon Laboratory, north position.

The transit speed was not normal.

Do you hear the questions?

The planet's orbit and the ship's path
are vital for us.

Do you know them
or will you need to calculate them?

Calculate them?

It's a piece of cake.

One just takes a pencil,

like this and...

You want me to calculate it.

Could you?

You want me to count the ship's
path and the planet's orbit?

Do you want to connect
to the cyber machines?

No need. I'll count it myself.

Count it.
I reckon what it...

I reckon what it...

That's Smetana. Our Smetana.

Or is it Fibich? Well, I'd...


200, 247,

plus 1,800 makes minus


And then 1,813 plus,

deduct that and 249.

If we consider 1,753

minus 248,

1,400, 853.


And one more thing.

Here you are.

This is ingenious!

The Multicybernor
would compute this for a week.

It can't be possible.

What you mean?
- It's absolutely impossible,

no means exist at present...
- I know best

what exists and what
doesn't exist, young man.

I do not understand.
He has limited intelligence,

his technical code was negative,
the instruments must have malfunctioned.

Anything else?
Any other problem?

This is Numerin.
We have many questions.

It would be best for Centre 280
to assign

the man from the first century to us.
- It is not possible at the moment.

We need to examine him for the
purpose of our own assignments.

But our centre has more
important assignments!

They'll fight for me.
We landed at the right place.

I'm a real sensation.

Hello, New Delhi.

You ought to reach an agreement. We are
awaiting further research results.

We need him to map upper galaxies.

But we navigated the ship.
- Yes and we have a priority right.

This is Khartoum.
If you ascertain any details,

send us a report.

As a mathematical institute,
we maintain our claim.

I shall bring forward my proposal
to the Scientific Council.

This local patriotism of yours...
- Very well, I am going to the council.

So are we. In an hour from now?
- Yes.

Thank you and goodbye.

We are ending the transmission.

The conference is over. Disconnect.

Does it mean that you
want me to stay with you?

- In that case,

could I get a small advance?

An advance?
- I'll need some shirts,

ties, I also need a black, blue
and a white dinner jacket.

What if I go somewhere?
- I see. You need equipment.

Find out which order room is vacant
and arrange a shuttle.

You can get anything you want there.
- Is that so?

Can I take it
as a matter of prestige?

Could you accompany our guest, Eve?

Of course.
- Thank you.

I'm going with you.
- I cannot go with you.

It is 10:05.
- The council will be in session

in an hour in the Himalayas. And...
- Where?

In the Himalayas.
It is a very peaceful place.

Oh, in the Himalayas!

And it takes you
a whole hour to get there? Ciao!

Good day, welcome.
Do come in, please.

Good day, welcome.
Do come in, please.

What does he need?
- Some clothes.

You should take our purveyor's advice,
he gained experience in space.

Do you shape them yourself
or would you prefer ready made?

I shape them myself, although
I'd prefer ready made now.

Very well.
- Something extra. As it is for me.

A suit always reflects
the person wearing it.

You've put it quite nicely.
- You didn't shape them back then?

Only on Saturdays.
- Please, sit down.

- After you.

After you.
- After you.

Excuse me, but I'd like something
that nobody else has.

Something according to my taste.
- Right away.

The rate of your taste.

38,5. Allow me.

Is it my shoe size or my fever?

Here it is. Come closer.
You can select now.

That's not bad at all.

When one has a body,
everything is a good fit.

There's something to it.
Turn around.

Look at the spots and the ruff.

It's nice.
To church on Sundays.

Not for a scientist though.

No, away with it.

And what about this one?
Is it suitable for an executive?

I don't know. I dress to taste
and not according to my position.

To taste?
Pack it all, I like hodge-podge.

I'd combine it.

Combine this with that
and put that together with this,

to make it chic.
When can you deliver them?

Right now, if you want.
- Splendid.

It's all mine!

That's wonderful!

Don't I look nice?
- It's to your taste.

All it needs now is a small accessory.

A car. Just a small one.

Why? There's plenty of them everywhere,
you can take any car you want.

But I would like my own car.

I was told I can take it
as a matter of prestige.

You see, B 34.
- It's not crucial though.

He has a strongly developed
sense of ownership.

I have a strongly developed
sense of beauty.

Show him some Skoda or Tatra shuttles.
- Thank you.

Would you prefer a rocket shuttle
or an anti-gravity shuttle?

The first or the second, or both.
- Of course.


This is a Skoda shuttle, model 36.

It's quite cute.

And this is a Tatra shuttle, model 603.

It's for two.

Pack it for me, will you?
- As you wish.


It is for two, isn't it?

Splendid. I've got clothes and a car.

And now a roost! - Awhat?
- I need a flat.

A prestige flat.
- Why all that prestige?

I'd like the best and the most
expensive flat you have.


A cooperative flat.
- I beg your pardon? - What?

Lt'll cost me something, won't it?

Cost you something? I see!
Only a little effort.

Let's go.

I'm not very good with a shovel though.

That's not what I meant.

(470 Years of Excellent Services)

(Shuttle Parking)
- I meant how much money would it cost.

It must be expensive, isn't it?

You'll have to read some history books.

Money was abolished in the 3rd century.

Why didn't anyone tell me?

Excuse me, I forgot something inside.

I'll just...

I'll take ten of these.
Twenty of these.

What's this for? I see.
Pack it in foil.

Afur coat, caracul,
caracul lining!

Joseph - coma - I am
learning Czech - full stop.

What are you doing here?
I don't have time for this now.

Time is money and there's no money
here, so I've got no time. Be off!

Give it to me and get lost.

A dictionary. What an idea!

This is the 10th stack.

Letter P, papa, no papas.
Pants - I'll take twelve.

Panknifes, twenty of those.

Pas de deux - it must be
imported, I'll take two.

Pen Club, six of those.

Plafond, pronounce plaffon, six.
Plaque, I have enough of that.

Porcupine - do I want that or not?

Portrait, but my portrait.

I'll take a thousand.

Promoter, twelve promoters.
It must be something for the motor.

I'll have enough prestige with that.

That's the 30th stack.
He must be crazy.

Ten of this and twenty of this.

And thirty of this.

G, Ga, Ge - a giraffe!

It can't go on like this.
I would...

- Yes?

Could you tell me
where's the post office?

What? - To send a telegram
to the Himalayas. - What?

At once. To the Academician...
To the Himalayas.

Don't give in. - Right.
- Fight. - Yes.

Everything is for free.
I'm all yours.

I'm staying with you. Put it there.
- Yes.

Signed: Your most loyal
man from the first century.

Let's go.

Where are we flying?

You're driving.
- I thought you're driving.


- It isn't built yet?

Not yet,
but it's very interesting work.

I used to work
as a rocket furnisher,

but this job is much more interesting.
- Oh my!

Then you're an upholsterer!

I believe I am. Our job used
to be called that way.

Right. How do you work now?
Do you use clamps?

Or glue? And what about foam rubber?
Is it still being stolen?

No, we shape it.

We do a lot more shaping nowadays.

Of course. We did a lot
more stealing back then.

Well, let us begin, shall we?
- Yes.

Attention, we're starting!

You must excuse the old 120 model,
it's very noisy.

Of course. Just no prefab
panel house, alright?

One would be afraid
to cough in one's flat.

What view would you like?
- Of the countryside.

I mean a view
of the mountains or the sea.

Both, if possible.

As you wish. One X/25,

one C/36.
- Excuse me, I was wondering

what it would do
if I put in 926 and 323.

Stop! You mustn't do that.
You'd build a cow house.

I see.
- Stop.

Your flat is ready.

- Over there.

- Yes.

This telephone booth?

You can't be serious!
- Why?

Is this some bad joke? Where would
I put all my things?

Where am I supposed to live?
- Come and have a look.

We'll make the storage room
and the stable later.

This way.

It's like in the Ritz. Hello?

Good day - full stop.

Let there be light.

This way.


Aview of the mountains.

Aview of the sea.
- It looks like Hawaii.

Nice, isn't it?
- Very Hawaiian, indeed.


Did you turn it?

Me? Not at all.
- It must be a minor defect.

That's better.

Can I live here?

You can do whatever you want here.

For instance, if you'd like to...

I almost forgot!
Do you have any hobbies or pets?

Well, I have a giraffe.

I mean if you would like a workshop.

Aworkshop? Like my business?

No. I mean...

Manual work as a means
of relaxation from mental activity.

Wait. What's that?

It's a talking thinking device. And
this way it's a thinking talking device.

Where did you get that?

You know I can't remember
where I brought it from?

Whether from Mars
or Leipzig?

I really don't know.
Here you can cook.

Chop onions.
- Why should I do that?

I love chopping onions.

It's the only possibility
when one can cry today.

I have no other troubles in this world.

I don't want any troubles,
I want automatons.

Automated automatons.
Superautomated superautomatons.

You're way behind times.
You can only find them in a museum.

Museum of the 20th Century

Museum of the 20th Century

Ancient Arms

We are entering the ancient arms room.

Here, dear children, you can see
what adults played with

in the 1 st century before reaching
an agreement on complete disarmament.

Just imagine that these bombs
destroyed whole cities.

While small children were upbraided
for breaking a window.

These weapons gave out sounds like this.

Wow, we can see bombs, Mummy.

Be good, Helen, and obey Uncle.

I will.

Wow! What's that, Uncle?

An unknown exhibit from
the first century, unregistered.

Let's continue.

I love you.

What does it mean?
- Are you crazy!

How much do you love me?
I want to hear it.

What does it mean?
- Adam!

Where did you see such nonsense!
- Over there. He keeps doing it.

Show me.

How much do you love me?
- Very much.

You don't believe me?
- I do. But I want to hear it.

I love you. And you?

Let's go.

It still exists.
- What is it?

That's just it.
What is it that it still exists?

There's no money, no wars,

everything is different except love.

What is the formula for love?
- There's no formula for love.

You're of the track with cybernetics
here! And stop staring at them!

Love can be passionate.

It can be insatiable or gentle.

Love under the stars,
irrational or rational love.

Love because of a car,
a job appraisal,

a flat or dowry.
That's ideal of course.

What is dowry?
- Let me explain.

For instance, she has a mill.

Don't ask what a mill is and come on.

What is dowry.
If a bride got this car as dowry,

they were head over heels
in love. Understand?

And with this car, you
could have a woman for life.

For one night with this one.
It's up to you to choose.

When someone gives something
to someone, is it love or dowry?

That depends.

This is a mill.
- Yeah.

Do love and dowry
have the same formula then?

All you talk about is formulas!

What is this?

Formulas. Our little formulas.

Cars once served mainly
for road accidents.

There were passenger cars
and lorries.

Passenger cars were quite expensive and
lorries were used for more than cargo.

Listen, how do you reproduce?

By fission.
- You mean like protozoa?

Or by multiplication. In a geometric
progression, if necessary.

It's a complex form... If one is
missing, the other is computed.

You don't say!
You compute one another.

You poor thing, you're deprived

of quite a lot
if they only computed you.

You don't have women at all?
- Is Eve a woman?

She's a peach!
- A peach?

She's not fruit, you can't understand.
- Is Peter a man?

- I will do an experiment.

I will calculate the formula for love.

You must understand that man is
of crucial importance for me.

Why don't you believe me, Eve?

Believe you?

To believe someone means nothing.

The examination results are decisive.

How many times do I have to repeat
that he has great technical talent.

And he is very important for me.
Can't you understand that?

Listen, I really don't know
what to do with that man.

Just imagine that he wants
everything to be automatic.

Even an automatic toothpick.
- So, give it to him.

Alright, but...
- Perhaps it was common in his time.

Really? Did you ever study history?

It's not very surprising
for a technician, is it?

You obviously don't know the authors
from the mid first century.

The share of excessive
automatization in...

In the apeization of man.

Do you know it?
- Of course I do.

We persuaded the Numerin
Centre to leave him here.

- The man from the first century.

- I brought you this.

From the Himalayas? My favourite.
- I won't get rid of the automatons.

Give him everything he wants.

Very well, although I must
insist on a new examination.

No. I really cannot do that
in your presence.

Women always distract me
too much from doing my calculations.

You must concentrate
on a single thought.

But which one?
Come here.

There are so many of them that
I don't know which thought comes first.

Sit down, please.
- Of course, I'll just...

Where are you, Adam?

Where are you, Adam?

Here you are. What are you doing?

Be sensible. Sit down,
it's time to do some calculations.

We'll begin.
Relax and remain seated.


Are you counting?

Does he only have a technical brain?

Calculate something really difficult like...

120 plus 650.

Deduct it, add it up

and multiply by a million.

I'm switching it off.

She's coming.
Let me sit down.

I've never had a case like yours.

I can believe that.

I gladly show what I can do.

Are you satisfied?

You can concentrate quite well.

Will I get a certificate?

A certificate?
- An appraisal.

I see. You mean a quertificate?

Yes. A querto... something. Correct.

I need it to get a job,
to get a promotion.

I see. Follow me.

Record. Typology 106/B,

aesthetic and characterologic
examination 320,

technical centre 420
above higher standard.

And does it...

Does it... It's a bad habit
of mine from childhood.

Does it confirm that I'm a genius?

It's above the higher standard, right?

High above the technical standard.
- Thank you. It means I may apply

for a job in the management.
Thank you.

I am grateful, madam.


Do you have dowry for Peter?

I lack good manners, eh!

I have no feelings, eh!

This is supposed
to be a certificate of a genius!

What did that woman
put in the damned appraisal!

I have no sense of humour, eh!

Let me tell you an anecdote, alright?

Do you know the one when Mr. Jones
meets Mr. Smith? - Aha, I see.

The technical coefficient is excellent.
- It is, isn't it?

But the rest...
- Well, nobody can have

everything, isn't that so?
- That's strange.

With view to this, I think...
- That's strange.

I would deserve a special standing.

Indeed, you can stand
wherever you wish.

Oh no. You don't understand.
I meant that somebody

has to be up and someone down.
That's how it was and always will be.

I don't need to tell you this
in your standing.

And with this, I deserve to be up.

For instance, who is above you?
- Peter.

The fuel research lab is upstairs. You'd
like to work with him, wouldn't you?

Oh yes.
And what will I get for that?

Get for what?

Would you do something if it didn't
provide you with certain benefits?

- You see? So why should I

do something?
- Because you like doing it.

Because it's necessary.

Don't you want to do anything?

Don't you want to live?
- I do, but I want to be well off.

I don't understand.

What in the world
happened to you people?

You don't even know what money is!

You don't even know
what assertive power means!

You know nothing about life.
What it means to enjoy something!

You don't have a sense
of a man's standing.

Do you know who a man is?

It sounds proudly. That man, what's
his name, said that. Damn it!


You know him?

We also know other things
from your century.


Planet Earth.

Mid 1 st century.
The 20th century according to you.

Fortunately, there were
already people on Earth

in the 1 st century,
who saved it for us.

Do you understand?
Particle and antiparticle.

These are basics, ABC.
- Of course.

- Look.

The aminopon is connected to the control
board. - I thought so at once.

It requires complex calculations
and special application though.

Of course.
Appication always causes trouble.

- Yes.

Look, it's turning.

I wanted to ask you who taught you

that you don't know
what an appication is?

The Academician.
- You don't say!

I thought he was smarter.
You should hear what he said about you.

What did he say?
- You don't want to know.

What did he say?
- He envies you.

That can't be.
- He envies your job up here.

Where? I don't understand.

You don't understand a lot of things,
my boy. When where you born?

In 450. Why?

In 450, eh?

You're in the best years, my friend.
The best years.

Let's drop formalities, shall we?
I'm Joseph.

I'm Peter.
- Be frank, my friend.

We scientists must be
frank to each other.

There's one more thing.
I'll show you my office.

I hope it's furnished as I wished.
I've ordered a genuine pinoleum floor.

- Yes, pinoleum.

Just a moment.

This our chance, Adam,
finish it quick.

You're my clever head.
I'm coming!

Be careful.
- Pinoleum.

Isn't it wonderful?

It's like a private museum.
- It is, isn't it?

I've furnished it well, didn't I?
- Be careful!

Genuine pinoleum.
I must admit it's nice.

That ordering centre of yours
truly respects every wish.

Here, I can really...

I can really do business.

Buenos Aires! Is the line busy?

Then put me through to Prague, quick.

A manual machine.

My portrait.

We must drink to our friendship, Peter.
Come here.

Be careful! Genuine pinoleum.

And this is the bar.
The bar of relaxation.

Why it's empty!
It seems I overpraised them.

That's what I told him.
- Told who?

The Academician. You know
nothing about life, my boy.

As an executive, you'll become one
yourself one day, my bar should be full.

Rum, whisky, soda, gin, fizz,
and cognac are supposed to be here.

I understand.
You mean CH3-CH2-OH.

Do I?
- You need it for experiments?

Are you a chemist as well?

Of course, a chemist.
Especially during appication.

When I appy, I always drink, I mean
I use alcohol, my dear Peter.

It's not a problem. I can arrange that.

How much do you need?
- A pint or two, three barrels.

You can have as much as you want.
- Really?

Of course. A scientist must not be
derogated from his research.

You've put it quite nicely, Peter.

It seems my research will be
very intensive and long.

Eve's Dowry

You're saying it's
inexhaustible rocket fuel?

That's wonderful!


Where are the calculations?
- I left them with Peter.

They'll be Eve's dowry.

Wait. You can't be serious.

Are you crazy?
Bring them at once!

Bring them, will you?
I need to check them, you see?

Eve's Dowry


- Yes?

Did you send me something?

I didn't. Why? Is anything wrong?

The thing is that your calculations
are going away by themselves.

What calculations?
I don't know what you're talking about.

Your dowry.

My dowry?
- Yes.

Calm down and wait for me.
I'll be right there.

Is it all?
- All.

Including the manufacturing process?
- This is the manufacturing process.

I mean if it's precise. Doesn't it have
more holes than it should?

You know I can tell.
- It's exactly according to the formula.

It is? Let's get down to work then.

It is based on Peter's idea,

in addition though...

It is ingenious, isn't it?
- It is.

It required a completely
different approach.

Pardon me.

Do you see that?

Peter wasn't able to solve this.
- He wasn't.

Nonetheless, the young man
is very gifted.

In a way.

We shouldn't overpraise him though,
or he stops growing.

Tell me, why doesn't he like
you so much?

Me? Peter?
You are joking.

Am I? It is a gift given by...

by my inner talent.
- Indeed.

Such an invention is truly worth it.

Worth what?
- I beg your pardon?

I'm saying the invention
is truly colossal.

And I was asking worth what?

I mean what will I get in return.
- I beg your pardon?

I mean what reward will I get
when they approve it.

Who should approve it?

You have no approval bodies?

That would be just the job for me.

I would establish a patent office.

It would be the pine, I mean the spine
of the life of the whole society.

Everything would finally
have a head and a tail.

But we don't need things like that.

I know best what you do and
don't need. Leave that to me.

And who would approve
that patent office

before you start approving there?

I beg your pardon!

We'll find someone.

What is a dowry?

What did you send me?
- I didn't send you anything.

You must be sick.
- The Academician is sick.

Not me.
He is suffering with envy.

Who told you that?

The man from the first century.

The Academician and egotitis?

Peter and egotitis?
- They say you are treating him for it.

The man from the first century
told you this, didn't he?

How did you know?

I must have one more look at him.

Not a lobster again!


Dumpling. - When will you
give the invention to Peter?

Why would I give it to him?
Did he invent the fuel?

The basic idea was his.

It won't make a dumpling!
What a silly idea!

I can't even look at the affluence!
I'd give anything for a dumpling.

Someone's coming. Who is it?

Maybe it's the postman?
But now, in autumn?

Could I call on you?
- Of course.

I have delicious lobsters and more.
- Goodbye.


Eve is coming, Adam.

The word is out. My popularity
is growing. I'm a scientist!

Didn't my eyes tell her
a thousand times

how I...
She'll help us eat them.

It's time to shave and change
into my best clothes. Come here.

Come here.

Look, I'll go for her with
mathematics, understand?

When I do this,
you'll start counting.

And when I do this,
you'll disappear.

Damn it! She's here.
She's not wasting time.

Give it to me and be off.

What a pleasant surprise, madam.

Do come in.
- What are you doing?

You know, young blood tends
to froth quite easily.

Take a seat.
Pardon me!

I beg your pardon.

Do take a seat.
- Thank you.

Have some.
I'll be right back.

I'll go and change automatically.
Everything is automatic here.

I'll be right back in my best.

These are my best clothes.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

It's a mistake.
- You'd better stop.

You indulged in striptease
in your time, didn't you?

Not me, but some people did.
- I'll repair it.

You can change now.
- Thank you.

This way.

A nice flat, isn't it?

I had it refurnished a bit.


With or without fire?

Without fire, please.

Where shall we begin?
- Tea?

Tea shall it be.

Let's have tea first.
- Yes.

Do you know why I came?
- I do.

I want to hear it though.

Tell me.

- I've heard it before.

I see...

Why did you throw the news there?
- Domestic news.


Avery significant discovery has been
made today in the field of rocket fuel.

A compound was made...
- I thought they were from yesterday.

Turn it off, please. I feel uneasy
with view to my innate modesty.

Didn't Peter cooperate
with you on the invention?

Peter? Well, do you know...

Do you know what's ahead of me now?

They want me to head an office.
A modest man like me!

I have only inventions in my head.
Just a moment.

Here I go again.
18 minus 3 is 15.

15 plus 6 is 21.
That head of mine!

Do you know what it is
to have a head like this?

See for yourself how heavy it is.

Is it a custom from your century?
- Your waist is so slender.

Isn't it that famous wasp waist?


Do you have fits of giddiness?
- I do, whenever I see you.

Just you wait.

I have to find some distraction.

What was that?
- Well...

I trifle with antimatter
in the evenings.

I use it for my teeth right now.

Did someone come in?
- No, on the contrary.

The automatons are going wild.

Do you know what I'd like you to be?
- No.

My secretary.

Inventing would be
so much easier with you.

Would I manage?
- You? With your body?

Have a drink with me.

Don't drink it, it's harmful.
- I've outlived 10 billion teetotallers.

I don't understand
what you like on it.

I know other joys.
- Do you?

I do. Try the weightless room
and you'll see for yourself.

Let's drink.

We can achieve weightlessness
right here.

Isn't this too heavy?
- It is.

Oh my!

I haven't felt so good with anybody
for 500 years.

Would you love me even
if I wasn't an executive?

Your eyes are so beautiful.

Especially the left one.

I am a jellyfish in love.
I'm all yours and whose are you?


This is how millionaires
used to spend hot days.

Thank you, that will do for me.

What women do with nowadays, eh?

Will you allow me
to fly with you, madam?

This way.

After you.

Is Eve here?
- I'm Eve.

I didn't mean you. Or did I?

Can I help you?
- Well...

So these are the other joys, eh?


You're very attractive.

What are you doing tonight?
Come and see Lohengrin with me.

Is your name Eve too?
- No, Charles.

So you are Eve, eh?
- I'm Ewald.

They're getting their snoot fool.
You'd never see it in the old bars.

What will you have?
- The same as them and make it double.

Will it be 39 or 40?
- Make it 42. - As you wish.

The more the better.
- Yes. - Thank you.

Excuse me, I can see
that you're a beginner.

Just pull, turn and fly.

May I join you? Is it vacant?
- Yes.

Thank you.

Avery nice take-off
for a first timer, don't you think?

It's that scientist
from the first century.

Is that so? I'll have one too.
- As you wish.

Even if I already had enough
for today.

I sometimes see electric mice.

Well, just for once.

In harmony with brotherly worlds,
the sun resounds with an ancient melody.

I see you are enjoying
yourself, aren't you?

Comme çi, comme ça,
I mean to say: Like this like that.

Would you like some, Ewald.
- Thank you.

I mean to say: Merci, merci.

What's the matter?

Look, over there!

Help! Help!

Help! Call Myslivecek!
- Who?

There he is.

Shoot! Aim!


Wake up.

For next time.

Do not enter with alcohol!
Accident hazard!

Nobody will make fun of me!

I need the dowry.
- Where are you?

- Where have you been?

I examined the formula for love. I like
humans. I'll give them the invention.

You're the same fool as they are!
They won't get it from me!

Humans have the same formula.
But you are different.

I will tell my kind that your formula
is not valid on Earth any longer.

What will you tell them?
What if you don't come back, eh?


Let me go!


What have you done?
- Gotcha!

If you only had listened to me...
- Give me the invention!

It doesn't belong to you.
It belongs to humans!

I won't give you anything!
Nothing at all.


Where are you?

You monster!

- I want to speak to humans.

You are not human!

Just you wait. I'll show you.

Be so kind and calm down.

You should get some sleep.
- He wants to defame me.

Destroy me.
You must get him.

He's a spy!

Damn it!

Believe me.

He wants to destroy everything,
you all, this world.

They have a weapon.
Sound with deadly power.

I experienced it.

I beg your pardon.

Why are you laughing?
You won't laugh long.

They are preparing a terrible war.

That's enough!
Get out and go straight to a sanatorium.

You... you!

You will answer for this!

To human kind, to all creatures!

To God! Goodbye.

Arrange his radical treatment.

What are you doing?
- Dumplings.

What are you doing here?
- I was repairing my retuti.

May I?

Large, hand-kneaded dough
rolls boiled in water.

This looks like a tasquart logatranox.

Frequently consumed in Czech lands.

I've seen this device before.
Aren't you from Venus by chance?

No, I'm not from this galaxy.
What were you doing before?


I see. I was whistling.
- Why?

I whistle when I enjoy something
or when I'm happy.

Does whistling make you happy?
- How did the man get here?

With the man from the first century.

I understand now!

Not dumplings again!
Why can't it make a lobster!

Thank you.

I'm glad you come to the old Prague
reservation to cure yourself.

You won't believe me
but my shuttle flew here by itself.

So did mine.

The controller must be broken.

It's nice here, isn't it?

All this was created so long ago.

What people were capable of
even back then.

That's strange.

That you and me met here.

There's something
I'd like to tell you, Eve.

Why so late?

Do you see that?

We must be hallucinating together.

Who is it?

For you.

Because you love.

It's the fuel.
- Dowry.

Who are you?
- He calls me Adam.

I came with the man
from the first century.

What will you do with me?
You didn't want to send me to Numerin!

You kept talking about my possibilities
and now you lock me up in a madhouse!

You must be healthy to take
advantage of your possibilities.

Don't worry,
I'm healthier than you.

I haven't been on sick leave
for 500 years!


He was telling the truth.
- But...

He said you wanted to destroy Earth.

That you were preparing to attack us.


Awar? Why?

Why should living creatures be enemies?

Why should they kill each other?

Destroy life?

Destroy life?

We explored remote
areas of the Universe.

We discovered its immense resources.

They are immeasurable.

The only thing
that is unbelievably scarce

and most precious,
is life.

It must be protected.

We found dead planets,
once thriving with life,

which devoured itself in animosity.

Humans, we live in one cosmos.

The life on our planet
is reaching out its hand.

We have state-of-the-art

We are even able
to control the life of cells.

Though you have something

we did not find elsewhere
in the Universe.

Beauty, happiness,

joy and pain,

love, feelings. Something,

for which we do not have a formula.

Look, he's smiling.

He's becoming human.

He loves to give speeches.

Why are you running away?
You're not cured yet.

You must undergo treatment.
- Leave me alone!

I'm not sick at all!
Go to hell!

Just leave me alone.
I can't live among you, go to hell!

Believe me, egotitis is curable.
- What good is it for me?

You'll have endless possibilities.
- But what good is it for me?

What good are your possibilities,
if everybody has them!

We'll soon fly to the Blue Star.

Not there.

People are computed there.

Why is the man with the bold,
egg-shaped head whistling?


I'm happy because I met humans.

Even though they have
a round and hairy head.

Don't you think it's
thinking too aloud?

Do you think so?

What are you doing?
- I don't want him to fly to my planet.

I sent him back.
- Back where?

Back to his century.


Beware people,
he is coming back to you now.

The End