Mammoth (2006) - full transcript

Woman over P.A.:
The Pleistocene Museum was founded here

in 1879
by Armand Kavorkian.

Man over P.A.:
You have asked about the smilodon,

given its common name because of the
large canines protruding out of its mouth.

Commonly known throughout North America during the Ice Age...

ISN'T THIS COOL,
SWEETIE?

...the smilodon was a beast
to be reckoned with.

It could deliver
a biting reach...

- DUDE, KEEP A LOOK OUT.
- ALL RIGHT, HURRY UP, MAN.

KEEP YOUR PANTIES ON.

WHAT'S THE HOLDUP?



YOU'VE GOTTA SEE THIS.

WHOA.

DUDE.

I TOLD YOU.

Boy:
THIS THING IS HUGE.

Boy #2:
YOU'RE TELLING ME.

"SCIENCE" MAGAZINE SAID THESE THINGS ALL GOT WIPED OUT

BY A PATHAGON.

THIS SECTION'S OFF-LIMITS,
YOU KNOW.

FOR THE RECORD,
IT'S NOT "PATHAGON." IT'S "PATHOGEN."

GERMS,
THEY CAN KILL YOU--

OR EVEN AN ENTIRE
SPECIES FOR THAT MATTER.

DO YOU READ
THAT MAGAZINE TOO?

OH, YEAH YEAH.
I HAVE A LIFETIME SUBSCRIPTION.



- IS IT YOURS?
- I LIKE TO PRETEND HE IS.

COOL.

COME ON,
WE'RE GONNA GET IN TROUBLE.

- GOTTA GO.
- SEE YA, MISTER.

ALL RIGHT,
WE'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER.

(sighs)

(high-pitched whine)

(high-pitched thrumming)

WELL, YOU'RE FULL OF SURPRISES,
AREN'T YOU?

(dramatic music
playing)

OKAY, THERE WE GO.

(knocks on door)

(door opens)

Man: CHESS OR CHECKERS, DOC?
I VOTE CHESS.

Man #2:
NOT TONIGHT, GORDON.

I'VE GOT SOME
HOMEWORK HERE.

- DON'T YOU EVER SLEEP?
- WELL, I TRY TO AVOID IT IF I CAN.

SO MUCH HISTORY,
SO LITTLE...

TIME.

(gasps)

- (chimes)
- OH, NO.

- (yells)
- WHAT'S THE HURRY, DOC?

ARE YOU LATE
FOR A FUNERAL?

JACK'S BIRTHDAY!

Man:
PROJECTIONIST'S LOG

06-06-07:

IN AN ATTEMPT TO VANQUISH
HER DISAPPOINTMENT

OVER HER FATHER'S
EMPTY-HEADEDNESS,

WE HAVE DECIDED TO ADVANCE
THE MAIDEN VOYAGE

OF THE STARSHIP THEATER.

GIVE ME ALL
SHE'S GOT, CAPTAIN.

RIGHT. AYE, MATEY.

SQUIRRELLY,
GET ME RUM

- FROM BELOW.
- YES, SIR.

(Western music
playing)

HE KNEW I NEEDED HIM
TO GET MY LICENSE.

IT'S TWO HOURS,
13 MINUTES

AND TWO MISSED PHONE CALLS.
THIS IS A NEW RECORD.

NOT IF YOU COUNT THE TIME THAT HE FORGOT TO PICK YOU UP

AFTER BALLET CAMP
LAST SUMMER.

- FORGOT THAT.
- MMM.

I'M SORRY ABOUT
THIS, HONEY.

I WOULD HELP YOU
IF I COULD.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT
MY FATHER'S DEFECTIVE.

GIVE ME CREDIT.
I GOT THE BALL ROLLING.

MOM WOULDN'T LET
THIS HAPPEN.

NO, SHE WAS YOUR
DAD'S BETTER HALF,

AND HE'S FEELING LIKE HALF A MAN WITHOUT HER.

Cowboy:
You killed my father.

- Now you must die!
- HE'LL GET OVER IT.

AI, CAVAC-- I--
HANG ONTO THAT.

- I'LL SAVE THE DAY.
- (phone beeping)

HMM.

(hums)

(switch clicks)

(muttering)

UH-HUH.

EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD.

UH-HUH.

DID I PAY THE BILL?

NOT TOO LATE.
A COUPLE HOURS.

GET OVER THERE
BY 3:00, 3--

GOD, MAYBE THEY
CLOSE AT 3:00.

KEYS, WHERE DID
I PUT MY KEYS?

(engine sputtering)

Man: WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO HOME?

I MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING
THAT'LL CHEER YOU UP.

NOT ANOTHER
"TWILIGHT ZONE" MARATHON.

I'M THINKING "THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL."

- Jack: HEY, GRANDPA.
- YEAH?

Jack: LOOK.

Man:
H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS.

THIS IS SO STRANGE.

(booms)

(car alarms blaring)

UMM.

GOD, WHO AM I KIDDING?

YES YES
YES YES YES YES.

OH, VERY GOOD.

- (beeping)
- WHAT?

(mumbles)

(fire crackling)

(roaring)

(groans)

(Gordon screaming)

(trumpets)

(fire popping)

(siren wails)

THIS IS A LAWSUIT
WAITING TO HAPPEN.

IT'S GOT ALL
THE PEOPLE EXCITED.

Man: HEY, BUD.
HOW'D YOUR DATE GO?

Man #2: MAN,
SHE MADE SPICY TUNA LAST NIGHT.

TUNA?
SHE'S MAKING YOU TUNA?

YEAH. HEY, NOT SO MUCH
CREAM IN MY COFFEE.

HOW'S IT GOING?

- Man: WHERE'S THE SHERIFF?
- Man #2: THE SHERIFF'S OFF SOMEWHERE.

- Man: WHAT?
- HE SAID WE CAN'T LET NOBODY BACK HERE.

Man: HE TOLD YOU TO GO WATCH IT?

WELL, BUD,
WHY AIN'T YOU WATCHING IT THEN?

WHOA WHOA
WHOA WHOA.

I CAN'T HAVE YOU CONTAMINATING A CRIME SCENE, DOC.

CRIME SCENE?

I'M CONDUCTING A FORMAL INVESTIGATION
INTO WHAT HAPPENED HERE.

STANDARD PROCEDURE,
FRANK.

WELL, SHERIFF,

A METEOR HIT
THE BUILDING.

WELL, JUDGING BY THE AMOUNT OF ASH ON THE GROUND,

IT MUST HAVE INCINERATED
MY MAMMOTH ON IMPACT.

YOU MEAN LIKE WHEN YOU DROP AN ICE CUBE INTO A CUP OF COFFEE

AND IT GOES KABLOOEY?

YEAH. YEAH, SURE.

HEY LOOK,
I REALLY-- I PROBABLY SHOULD DO SOME TESTS FIRST

- TO CONFIRM MY THEORY.
- AFTER THE INVESTIGATION.

- OH.
- SOMEBODY STOLE IT.

- A 17-TON MAMMOTH IN A BLOCK OF ICE?
- YEAH.

PEOPLE PULL HOAXES ALL THE TIME WITH CROP CIRCLES.

YEAH, LIKE THAT GUY IN OREGON WITH THEM BIGFOOT PRINTS.

- RAY WALLACE.
- THAT'S THE ONE.

OKAY, WHAT ARE
YOU SMOKING?

AND YOU, YOU MAKE
NO SENSE WHATSOEVER.

I MEAN,
IT IS LIKE THE BLIND LEADING THE STUPID HERE.

DEPUTIES...

PLEASE ESCORT THE GOOD DOCTOR TO HIS VEHICLE.

WHOA WHOA,
HOLD ON.

HOLD ON, OKAY?

THIS IS MY MUSEUM.

AND THIS IS MY TOWN.

I'LL EXPECT
YOUR STATEMENT

- TOMORROW MORNING, FIRST THING.
- OKAY.

WELL, EXPECT
TO SEE ME THEN!

OKAY, TAKE CARE.

- THANK YOU, DOC.
- Frank: I'LL BE BACK.

(engine running)

THAT'S FISHY.

OKAY OKAY,
BACK ON TRACK.

JACK WILL UNDERSTAND.

I MEAN, THERE'S
A GOOD EXCUSE AFTER ALL.

ANY OF YOU KNOW WHERE WE CAN FIND SHERIFF MARION MORRISON?

DEPENDS.

WHO'S ASKING?

I'M SPECIAL AGENT POWERS.

THIS IS MY PARTNER,
SPECIAL AGENT WHITAKER.

WE'RE HERE TO ASSESS
THE SITUATION.

AND JUST WHAT
IS YOUR JURISDICTION?

EARTH.

- (chatting)
- Bud: YOU THINK SHE--

SHH, I'M TRYING
TO READ THEIR LIPS.

(electronic humming)

IT'S SOMETHING ABOUT HOW SEXY-LOOKING THAT DEPUTY IS.

- (chuckling)
- WANTING TO GIVE HIM A FULL INSPECTION.

GOOD GOOD,
WHICH ONE IS SHE TALKING TO? ME?

NOT HER-- HIM.

NOT FUNNY.

THIS IS WORSE
THAN I THOUGHT.

Both:
SHE'S HOT.

YOU TWO GOT SOMETHING GOING ON I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?

Both:
NO, SIR.

(Morrison whispers)
TELL THEM NOTHING.

- YES, SIR.
- SHERIFF.

WE'RE GONNA NEED A RECORD OF
EVERYTHING LEADING UP TO THE EVENT.

NOTHING MOVES.
IS THAT CLEAR?

CLEAR AS MUD.

- IS THERE A PROBLEM, SHERIFF?
- OKAY.

ARE THERE ANY
OTHER WITNESSES?

ONE.

- THE DEAD SECURITY GUARD.
- Morrison: NO.

(swallows)

FRANK ABERNATHY.

I KNOW I'M LATE,

BUT THIS METEOR

PRETTY MUCH INCINERATED THE LAST FIVE YEARS OF MY LIFE.

BUT HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
(chuckles)

ENOUGH ABOUT ME. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

DON'T BE SUCH A FRANK, FRANK.
JUST TELL HER THE TRUTH.

MY CAR!
THE CAR BROKE DOWN,

AND THEN MY PHONE WOULDN'T WORK.
POOR GORDON.

(mimics explosion)

HE CAME IN AND HE SAID,
"DO YOU WANNA PLAY CHESS?"

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE,
FRANK ABERNATHY? YOU SOUND LIKE A DIMWIT.

YOU SOUND LIKE A BIRDBRAIN.
BIRDBRAIN!

16th BIRTHDAY.
DRIVER'S LICENSE.

FRANK ABERNATHY,
YOU'RE BAD.

YOU MESSED UP.
IT WAS A BIG DAY AND YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.

IT WAS A BIG DAY.

VIOLA.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Jack:
IT'S YOUR CAR.

Simon:
NOT ANYMORE.

KLAATU BELONGS TO YOU.

(chuckles)

WELL, BIRTHDAY GIRL,
WHAT'S THE VERDICT?

- I CAN'T TAKE YOUR CAR.
- YES, YOU CAN.

THANK YOU.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

(tires screech)

HONEY,
I AM SO SORRY. I--

LOOK.
I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS THAT--

LOOK, IT'S A REALLY
GOOD EXCUSE.

OKAY, SO HOW BIG IS THAT ON THE JACK TEMPER SCALE?

- 11.
- SO WHAT SHOULD I DO?

STOP BEING A WEENIE.

DON'T SAY "WEENIE."

(girl laughing)

Woman's voice:
DO YOU WANNA TRY MOMMY'S NECKLACE, BABY?

HERE. YEAH.

IT LOOKS GOOD ON YOU.

Young Jack:
PLEASE CAN I HAVE IT?

Woman: ONE DAY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, DADDY?

GOOD IDEA.

- JACK!
- (gasps)

AHH!
(groaning)

GET IN HERE!

WERE YOU SPYING
ON ME AGAIN?

I CAME TO SEE
IF YOU WERE MOBILE YET.

(chuckles)

(keys jingling)

COOL.

(laughs)

CHECK IT OUT.

E-VASION?

IT COULD BE FUN,
BUT I DON'T KNOW, SQUIRRELS.

I GOT THE WHEELS,
BUT NO LICENSE.

I'LL HAPPILY
BE YOUR CHAUFFEUR.

COME ON,
IT'S A POD PARTY.

YOU HANG WITH ME.
WE'LL PISS OFF YOUR DAD.

IT'S A FRIDAY NIGHT IN BLACKWATER.
WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO?

BESIDES,
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.

AND YOU DO OWE ME
FOR THE HANDS.

YOU'RE GONNA GET ME
IN SO MUCH TROUBLE.

(chuckles)

CONSIDER IT A GIFT...

FROM THE SQUIRRELS.

(yells)

OKAY. HERE WE GO.

PERFECT.

JACK, CAN I COME IN?

OKAY. LOOK.

JACK, I KNOW
TODAY WAS--

IT WAS A BIG DAY,
A VERY IMPORTANT DAY.

(yelps)
MY DAD'S JAG!

LOOK, I'M SORRY.
I THOUGHT IT'D BE COOL.

NEVER SAY I NEVER WANNA SHOW A LADY A GOOD TIME.

YOU CAN DO
BETTER THAN THAT.

- IF IT AIN'T BROKE, THEN DON'T FIX IT.
- BROKEN!

- YOU'RE STILL HERE, AREN'T YOU?
- PLEASE.

WELL, WHY DON'T--

WHY DON'T I COME
IN THERE?

JACK?

(engine starts)

(tires screech)

DAD!

I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

YOU GAVE HER YOUR CAR
WITHOUT TALKING TO ME?!

(Simon shouting)
TALK TO YOU?

FRANK, WHEN IS THERE
EVER TIME TO TALK TO YOU?

NOBODY CAN
TALK TO YOU,

BECAUSE YOU'RE
NEVER HERE!

YOU'RE STICKING YOUR HEAD UP SOME ELEPHANT'S ASS!

HEY, WHAT I DO
AT THE MUSEUM,

THE SCIENCE, MY WORK--
IT IS IMPORTANT!

AND YOUR DAUGHTER
ISN'T IMPORTANT?

OH, YOU...

I'M GONNA GO
FIND MY KID.

I'LL GO WITH YOU.

ALONE.

(static)

(alien speaks
gibberish)

SO, DID YOU--

DID YOU REWIRE THE PHONE IN ONE
OF YOUR LITTLE PROJECTS AGAIN?

TIME TO JOIN
THE LIVING, FRANK.

LOOK, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THIS LITTLE OBSESSION OF YOURS

WITH, YOU KNOW,
FLYING SAUCERS

AND-- WHAT IS IT?
--LITTLE GREEN MEN,

IT HAS BEEN NOTHING
BUT AN EMBARRASSMENT

- TO ME MY ENTIRE LIFE.
- EMBARRASSMENT?

NOW THAT QUALIFIES
AS A GENUINE EMOTION.

I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU
FEELING SOMETHING.

DAMN IT,
WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WITH MY KEYS?

PROBABLY OUT
IN THE CAR.

DON'T AVOID THE ISSUE.

DAD, DAD, DAD.
YOU JUST...

DON'T GET IT,
DO YOU?

JACK'S MY DAUGHTER.

MM-HMM.

I WANTED TO BE THE ONE
TO GIVE HER HER CAR.

- A HYBRID.
- A HYBRID?

WELL, NOW THAT'S
FORWARD THINKING.

NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS GET THE REST
OF YOU GOING IN THE SAME DIRECTION.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
FORGET IT.

I CAN'T TALK TO YOU.

Powers and Whitaker:
MR. ABERNATHY?

Both: YES?

FRANK ABERNATHY.

WELL, THAT WOULD BE ME.

AND FOR THE RECORD-- IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL,
BUT IT'S "DOCTOR."

SORRY ABOUT THAT, DOC.
WE'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU

ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THIS AFTERNOON AT THE MUSEUM.

YOU MAY HAVE WITNESSED
SOMETHING... UNUSUAL.

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

SHOULD WE BE
CONTACTING A LAWYER?

- DID YOU DO SOMETHING ILLEGAL?
- NOT TODAY.

THIS WON'T TAKE UP
MUCH OF YOUR TIME.

WOULD EITHER OF YOU HAVE A WORKING PHONE I COULD USE?

- SORRY.
- SATELLITE MALFUNCTION HAPPENS EVERY NOW AND THEN.

- WHAT HAPPENED AT THE MUSEUM, FRANK?
- NOT NOW, DAD.

LOOK. I WOULD BE HAPPY
TO TALK WITH YOU,

IF WE COULD PLEASE DO IT WHILE WE DRIVE.
I HAVE A RUNAWAY CHILD.

DR. ABERNATHY,
WE WORK UNDER ORDERS

DIRECTLY FROM
THE WHITE HOUSE.

WE DON'T HANDLE
DOMESTIC ISSUES.

- NEITHER DOES THE WHITE HOUSE.
- DO EITHER OF YOU HAVE KIDS?

LET ME ENLIGHTEN YOU.

IF YOU HAVE A BOY,
YOU ONLY HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ONE...

WEINER.

YOU HAVE A GIRL,

YOU WORRY--
NO, YOU DO--

YOU WORRY ABOUT EVERY WEINER IN THE HOT DOG CART.

- OKAY, WOULD YOU TRUST A KID NAMED SQUIGGLY?
- SQUIRRELLY.

- HE'S A NICE KID.
- THANK YOU, MY POINT IS-- DAD, DROP IT, OKAY?

I WOULD BE HAPPY TO FINISH THIS CONVERSATION

IN THE CAR, OR YOU CAN COME BACK TOMORROW.
IT'S YOUR CHOICE.

YEAH, LET'S GO.

- GOOD.
- UH UH UH. FRANK-FRAY,

ONT-PAY RUST-FRAY

OVERMENT-FRAY...

UH...

AUF WIEDERSEHEN, UM...

- WHAT?
- Powers: HE SAID, "FRANK,

DON'T TRUST
THESE GOVERNMENT STOOGES,"

IN PIG LATIN.

- DOES HE SUFFER FROM DEMENTIA?
- I WISH.

Simon: TRY NOT TO GET HER PREGNANT ON THE FIRST DATE, SON.

(chuckles) OKAY,
SEE YOU LATER, DAD.

THANKS FOR COMING BY.

Bud: HEY D,
THIS DEAD GUY LOOKS JUST LIKE GORDON.

WELL, MAYBE THEY'RE
RELATED, BUD.

NO NO, NOT LIKE THAT.

HE LOOKS LIKE HE HAD HIS INSIDES
SUCKED OUT HIS NOSE OR SOMETHING.

THIS LOOKS LIKE
TAVEN'S COOKING.

SHERIFF SAID WE'D SEE SOMETHING PECULIAR OUT HERE TONIGHT.

- WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
- SHUT UP.

HEY, BUD,
CHECK IT OUT.

THIS IS PRETTY
ELABORATE FOR A HOAX.

YOU THINK WE OUGHT
TO KEEP THESE SHOTGUNS?

DEFINITELY.

Bud: HOW LONG YOU THINK THIS THING'LL GO FOR?

Dino: HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW, BUD?

- I DON'T KNOW. HEY, D?
- WHAT?

DO YOU THINK THERE'S
ANY SPIDERS OUT HERE?

(Dino laughs) YOU'RE AFRAID OF SPIDERS!

SO?

- (mockingly) SO?
- SHUT UP.

Dino: I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T AFRAID OF ANYTHING.

I'M NOT AFRAID
OF ANYTHING.

(mockingly) I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING BUT SPIDERS.

- (rumbling)
- YOU HEAR THAT?

(splashes)

NO, BUT I SMELL IT.

OH, HOLD ON!

OH HELL!
OH MY GOD!

- OH HO HO.
- (laughing)

OH, THESE ARE
NEW SHOES.

WELL, YOU'RE RIDING
IN THE BACK, BUD.

NO WAY. YOU RIDE BACK THERE.
I'M DRIVING.

I'M NOT RIDING
IN THE BACK.

THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE DRIVING WITH SPUNK ALL OVER SHOES.

- THIS CRAP AIN'T SPUNK.
- SAME DIFFERENCE.

- HEY, IS THAT A SPIDER ON YOUR HEAD?
- NO.

- (laughs)
- (mammoth trumpeting)

- WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
- (stomping)

(gasps)

- HEAR THAT?
- HELL, I FELT THAT.

MOTHER OF GOD!

(trumpeting)

(both screaming)

- Man: WHOO-HOO!
- (techno music playing)

HEY.

YEAH, LOOK AT
THIS MADNESS.

Jack: IT'S CRAZY,
THAT'S FOR SURE.

Squirrelly:
THIS IS SO COOL.

LOOK AT THESE GUYS.
WHAT'S UP, GUYS?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JACK.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JACK.

IT'S COOL, RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT,
BIRTHDAY GIRL.

READY TO BLAST OFF
INTO OUR OWN PARTY?

FIVE, FOUR, THREE,

TWO, ONE.

FOLLOW ME.

I'D FOLLOW YOU
ANYWHERE.

CAN YOU TELL US
IF THE MAMMOTH DIED

- BEFORE OR AFTER IT WAS FROZEN?
- (beeping)

THE SECOND ONE. IT WAS,
YOU KNOW, FROZEN ALIVE

AND SUBSEQUENTLY DIED AS A RESULT.
OH, RIGHT RIGHT!

RIGHT, RIGHT THERE.
RIGHT, YEAH.

GOD, THERE WERE JUST
SO MANY MORE THINGS

THAT WE COULD HAVE
LEARNED FROM HIM.

WHAT TYPE OF BEHAVIOR DO THEY TYPICALLY EXHIBIT IN THE WILD?

WE BELIEVE THEY ACTED VERY SIMILAR TO MODERN-DAY ELEPHANTS.

DO THEY ATTACK?

OH, SURE,
BUT MOSTLY OUT OF DEFENSE.

IS THERE ANYTHING
ELSE WE NEED TO KNOW?

WELL, THEY WERE
HERBIVORES.

- HERBIVORES. THE "H" IS SILENT.
- HERBIVORES.

Frank: WHAT IS
GOING ON HERE?

YOU DON'T JUST SHOW UP ON MY DOORSTEP
TO CATCH UP ON YOUR MAMMOTH 101.

- HE'S THE EXPERT.
- RULE NUMBER ONE.

IF WE WANT HIM TO HELP US,
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO LET HIM KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

RULE NUMBER TWO:
REPEAT RULE NUMBER ONE.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO FILL IN THE GAP HERE AT ANY TIME.

THE METEOR CROSSED OVER
FORT PETRIE AIR FORCE BASE

JUST PRIOR TO STRIKING
YOUR MUSEUM, DR. ABERNATHY.

- BUT THAT'S IN MISSISSIPPI.
- EXACTLY.

IT WAS FIRST TRACKED COMING IN FROM THE NORTHEAST,

BUT IT HIT THE MUSEUM
COMING IN FROM THE SOUTH.

YOU'RE NOT SUGGESTING

THAT THE METEOR HAD NAVIGATIONAL CAPABILITIES,
ARE YOU?

A U.F.O.?

MY DAD IS GONNA HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH THIS ONE.

THAT'S JUST WEIRD.

SOMEBODY'S
HIDING SOMETHING.

NO TV EITHER.
JUST LIKE THE PHONE.

SOMEBODY'S BEEN PLAYING
WITH THE POWER GRID.

HEY. HEY!

CHECK THAT ASS.

Man:
GOOD EYES, DUDE.

- GO GET US SOMETHING.
- YEAH, GO.

JERK.

JESUS!
(grunts)

WHAT IS YOUR DEAL?

- PISS OFF, JACKASS.
- WHAT?

- NO NO NO NO.
- Squirrelly: JACK!

JACK, COME ON.

THOSE GUYS WERE JERKS.

WANT ME
TO TAKE YOU HOME?

THAT'S THE LAST PLACE
I WANNA GO RIGHT NOW.

COME ON.

THE NIGHT'S
STILL YOUNG.

LOOK, I'M KIND OF FINANCIALLY CHALLENGED RIGHT NOW,

BUT I'M SURE I COULD SCORE US A COUPLE OF BURGERS AT LEE'S.

YOU'RE REALLY SWEET.

YOU KNOW THAT?

- SWEET?
- YEAH.

WHAT?
YOU ARE.

(chuckles)
THANK YOU, BUT...

I WAS GOING FOR
THE MORE IRRESISTIBLE THING.

Man: YO!

CHILL.
EVERYTHING'S COOL, GUYS.

Man:
EVERYTHING'S NOT COOL.

(groaning)

Man #3:
HIT HIM AGAIN!

(mammoth groaning,
stomping)

WHA-- WHAT'S THAT?

(trumpeting)

WATCH OUT!

EITHER OF YOU SEE
"NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD"?

- NO, I DON'T LIKE THOSE MOVIES.
- YEAH, NEITHER DO I,

BUT IT LOOKED
A LOT LIKE THIS.

STOP!

JACK?
WHAT HAPPENED, SWEETHEART?

HERE YOU GO.
HERE YOU GO. RIGHT HERE.

HERE...
WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT A MINUTE,
DID YOU TAKE SOMETHING?

HUH? WHAT THE HELL
DID YOU DO TO MY DAUGHTER?

I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU GAVE HER THE WEED,
I WILL NEUTER YOU!

MR. ABERNATHY,

- YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT WE'VE SEEN.
- DAD.

- (stomping approaching)
- YEAH BABY, WHAT IS IT? I'M RIGHT HERE.

TALK TO ME. HMM?

(whispers)
BEHIND YOU.

(mammoth trumpets)

OH MY GOD.
OH, GOD.

(breathing heavily)

OH, YOU ARE ONE BIG
HAIRY MAGNIFICENT BASTARD.

OH, GOD!

OKAY, LET'S BACK UP.
LET'S MOVE IT BACK.

NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS.
LET'S JUST REMAIN CALM.

OKAY, THAT'S--
THERE YOU GO.

MY GOD, LOOK AT YOU.
LOOK AT YOU.

NO NO NO NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!

THIS COULD BE THE SCIENTIFIC PHENOMENON OF THE MILLENNIUM!

(growls)

(trumpeting)

GET THEM OUT OF HERE!

OH, GOD!
OH, GOD!

(mammoth inhaling)

JACK, COME ON!
COME ON! HURRY!

Squirrelly: YOUR DAD IS STOPPING.
YOUR DAD IS STOPPING!

MR. ABERNATHY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
RUN!

Frank: GO, GO!
KEEP GOING!

Squirrelly: JACK, JACK!
COME ON, HURRY!

DAD!

- (screams)
- NO!

GET DOWN, SQUIRRELLY.
GET DOWN!

HEY!

HEY, BUDDY!
WOO!

RIGHT HERE! HEY!

(trumpets)

OH!
OH, GOD!

(whispering)
SQUIRRELLY?

DAD?

WHERE ARE YOU?

(whispers)
DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD.

WHOA.

OH OKAY,
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD DO?

GO BACK TO THE CAR.

- BUT THAT'S CRAZY.
- THAT'S CRAZY.

I DON'T KNOW,
I THINK THAT'S A REAL SOLID OPTION.

- AT LEAST FOR ME IT'S VERY BIG, IT'S--
- OKAY.

- IT'S THIS WAY?
- Powers: FRANK!

OKAY OKAY,
LET'S GO!

COME ON!

COME ON,
COME ON. HURRY!

I WAS HIGH WHEN
I WROTE THIS SONG...

(woman moaning)

AND I WANT YOU
TO SING ALONG

NO ONE CAN EVER KNOW

HOW OUR LOVE
WILL GROW AND GROW.

(moaning)

(both moaning)

(mammoth stomps)

HUH?

STOP BEING
SO SKITTISH.

DON'T TELL ME
YOU DIDN'T FEEL THAT.

THAT NEVER STOPPED
ME BEFORE.

COME ON,

BEFORE WE HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE HOME.

(both moaning)

(stomping)

Man: GOOD LORD, WOMAN.
SHH, OFF ME.

I KNOW YOU KNOCKING,
I KNOW YOU KNOCKING.

(trumpeting)

OKAY, YOU GUYS, GET IN THE CAR.
FRANK, GET THE BODY.

- WHAT?
- Powers: HURRY UP. HURRY UP!

WILL YOU HELP ME
WITH THIS PLEASE?

I GOT IT.
LET ME DO THIS FOR YOU.

- LET ME DO THIS FOR YOU.
- FRANK!

COME ON.
OKAY, ONE, TWO, THREE!

(both groan)

GOD, IS HE HEAVY.

WE'LL STUFF HIM AT THE MORGUE.
YOU HAVE A MORGUE, RIGHT?

OH YEAH, THERE'S TWO.
MY FATHER'S VERY GOOD FRIENDS WITH A MORTICIAN.

- PUSH DOWN ON HIS FEET.
- NO, THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT HIS FEET.

GET OUT OF THE WAY.

WHAT ABOUT THE HEAD?

LEAVE IT.

- ARE YOU SURE?
- YOU DRIVE.

OKAY. OKAY.
REALLY?

LET'S GO.

METEORS DON'T
ALTER COURSE.

IT CAME FROM
OUTER SPACE?

SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING
BUT THE LIGHTS?

SOMEBODY CALLED HOME!

ALL RIGHTY,
TIME TO PAY THE BILLS.

(clears throat)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

LET ME SEE HERE.
"BONITA TERRACE, 6864."

MOTHER EF-ER.
JESUS, WHY DON'T THEY JUST

- PUT THE NUMBERS WHERE YOU CAN SEE THEM?
- (stomping)

(growling)

(thudding)

HMM.

SOMEONE GRABBED
MY ANTENNA.

(mammoth trumpets
in distance)

MONKEYS?

MONKEYS
FROM OUTER SPACE.

IS THIS AN INVASION?

OH MY GOD.
IT'S AN INVASION.

OVERPROTECTIVE?

MY FATHER WAS TOO.

THEN I'M NOT
PROTECTIVE ENOUGH.

I'M SORRY
ABOUT YOUR PARTNER.

HE SEEMED LIKE
A VERY NICE GUY.

YOU SAW IT, RIGHT?

THE REGENERATION?

- YEAH.
- I STUDIED THE FOSSIL RECORDS--

SPECIFICALLY THAT THING OUT THERE--
FOR THE BETTER PART OF FIVE YEARS.

X-RAYS, CAT SCANS,
RADIO-CARBON DATING--

I CAN PRETTY MUCH TELL YOU WHAT ITS LAST MEAL WAS.

BUT NONE,
AT LEAST TO MY KNOWLEDGE,

EXHIBITED BEHAVIOR
OF THAT KIND.

- YEAH.
- IT WAS FEEDING.

FEEDING,
SUSTENANCE.

- THEN WE CAN KILL IT.
- OKAY, WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

I'M GONNA GET MY DAD AND GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE.

DR. ABERNATHY, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND
THE SITUATION WE HAVE HERE.

IT SEEMS PRETTY EASY FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND.
BIG MONSTER ON LOOSE,

- LEAVE TOWN AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.
- THAT IS NOT AN OPTION.

THAT'S HOW MUCH
TIME WE HAVE LEFT

UNTIL THE AUTO-PROTOCOL'S
INITIATED.

WHEN THAT CLOCK
HITS ZERO,

IF WE HAVEN'T
FOUND A WAY

TO CONTAIN OR DESTROY
THAT CREATURE,

THEN THIS TOWN IS GONNA BE BLASTED OUT OF EXISTENCE.

LADY, YOU'RE SCARING ME.

Powers:
YOU SHOULD BE SCARED.

WHY?

BECAUSE THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION
VIEWS THESE TYPES OF THREATS AS--

WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THEY DON'T SIT WELL WITH THE VOTERS.

YOU'RE KIDDING ME,
RIGHT?

DO I LOOK LIKE
I'M KIDDING?

NO.

I'M THE LAST LINE
OF DEFENSE, FRANK.

AND I NEED YOUR HELP.

I'M NO HERO.

HEROES AREN'T MADE, FRANK.
THEY'RE CORNERED.

OKAY.

OKAY.

IF WE'RE GONNA
KILL THIS THING.

WE'RE GONNA
NEED SOME HELP.

SON'S KEYS
IN THE CAR.

WHAT DO YOU SAY
TO THAT, HUH?

LET'S GO TO TOWN.

Powers:
EVENING, GENTLEMEN.

SPACE PATROL.

WANNA TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH THAT METEORITE?

- ROUTINE INVESTIGATION, MA'AM.
- (grunts)

Powers: HEY,
BE CAREFUL WITH THAT!

- Frank: READY?
- Powers: HEY, DON'T!

IT'S MY PARTNER.

OKAY.
WHAT DID I MISS?

(whispering)
NOT A WORD.

- MAYBE WE SHOULD TELL THEM.
- FLOYD.

JEEZ, MARION, WE'RE IN
OVER OUR HEADS ON THIS.

Powers: IF YOU TWO KNOW SOMETHING,

YOU'D BETTER SPILL IT NOW.

FOLLOW US.

I SAID WE SHOULD HAVE
DONE THIS BEFORE.

- I DID.
- Morrison: WHO CARES?

- WHAT IS THIS PLACE?
- Floyd: DEEP FREEZE.

POPSICLE, ANYONE?

SUIT YOURSELF.
WHAT YOU TASTE IS WHAT YOU SMELL.

BEATS FORMALDEHYDE.

(whispers) THAT'S A LITTLE SCIENCE HUMOR.

- OH, BOY.
- IT'S A HAND.

A DEAD HAND.

"DEAD" IS RELATIVE.

POPCORN SETTING.
IT TAKES ABOUT A MINUTE.

NOW THAT IS FASCINATING,

YET CREEPY
AT THE SAME TIME.

I THINK IT'S TRYING
TO TELL US SOMETHING.

- (tapping continues)
- WHAT IS IT SAYING?

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE THAT OUT FOR 30 YEARS.

(stammering)

I'M GONNA WANNA
EXAMINE THE HAND.

- IT CAN BE PRETTY NASTY.
- THANKS.

HOW DID YOU GET THIS?

- A DONATION.
- (gasps)

(dings)

HEY, GET--
YOU LITTLE...!

(muttering) GIVE ME-- COME HERE.

HEY!

HEY!

- (gasps)
- Frank: OH, GOD.

OH!

THAT'S HANDY.
I USE A PHONE BOOK.

(whirring, beeping)

IT SEEMS TO ME LIKE HISTORY IS REPEATING ITSELF.

(beeps)

WHATEVER'S INSIDE THIS HAND,
IT'S THE SAME THING INSIDE THE MAMMOTH.

Floyd: EVERYTHING INDICATES FREEZING WON'T KILL IT.

IT JUST GOES INTO SUSPENDED ANIMATION.

Powers: YOU TWO SHOULD HAVE REPORTED THIS YEARS AGO.

THE GOVERNMENT COULD HAVE STEPPED IN AND FOUND A SOLUTION.

Morrison:
SURE, WE TELL THEM.

THEY COME IN AND USE A LITTLE TERM CALLED "EMINENT DOMAIN."

THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,

OUR TOWN IS AREA 52 AND WE'RE LEFT WITHOUT A POT TO PISS IN.

SORRY, MISS.

HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE ZOMBIE SOUL-SUCKING EFFECT?

MAYBE IT NEEDS THE ORGANIC ENERGY FROM ITS PREY

TO SIMPLY MAINTAIN
ITS EXISTENCE.

MAYBE IT'S
A RESCUE MISSION.

A RESCUE MISSION.

HONEY...

YOU'RE A GENIUS!

I PULLED THIS OUT OF THE MAMMOTH THIS MORNING.

LET ME CHECK THAT OUT.

IT'S SOME KIND OF TRANSMITTER OR G.P.S. DEVICE.

IT'S PROBABLY HOW THE SPHERE FOUND THE MUSEUM.

DO YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT THAT'S INTERGALACTIC ONSTAR?

Powers:
YEAH WELL, BASICALLY.

Jack:
WE'RE BEING SEEDED.

THIS IS ALL WAY TOO "WAR OF THE WORLDS" FOR ME.

I HOPE YOU'RE TALKING
THE 1953 ORIGINAL.

I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING MORE ALONG THE LINES OF THE REMAKE.

ONE CAN ARGUE
"THE BODY SNATCHERS,"

BUT IT'S REALLY EVEN CLOSER TO
"THE BLOB"-- THE ORIGINAL THAT IS.

THIS IS GREAT.
MY DAUGHTER'S TURNING INTO MY FATHER.

THAT AIN'T
SO BAD, FRANK.

SHE COULD WIND UP
MORE LIKE YOU.

- (beeps)
- OKAY.

SO SAY WE CAN USE
THE TRANSMITTER

TO LURE
THE CREATURE TO US.

HOW DO WE FREEZE A CREATURE THAT STANDS 13' HIGH

AND WEIGHS
17, 18 TONS?

MAYBE.

MAYBE!

(cackling)

CARBON DIOXIDE!

IT PUTS OUT A FIRE BECAUSE AS THE GAS IS RELEASED,

IT EXPANDS, COOLING
THE SURROUNDING AREA.

NOW, THIS COOLING
WILL OFTEN CAUSE ICE

TO FORM AROUND THE HORN FROM WHERE THE GAS IS EXPELLED

FROM THE EXTINGUISHER.

- ICE. MAN, THAT'S GOOD.
- YES!

SO WHERE DO WE FIND
A GIANT FIRE EXTINGUISHER?

OH NO NO NO.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE CARBON DIOXIDE.

OTHER CHEMICALS HAVE THE SAME
EFFECT WHEN RELEASED INTO THE AIR,

- LIKE ANHYDROUS AMMONIA.
- OH, NO NO NO NO, FLOYD.

THAT WOULD BE TOO TOXIC.
NO, WE NEED SOMETHING

MORE ALONG
THE LINES OF NO2.

- LIQUID NITROGEN.
- YES!

THE ONLY PLACE AROUND HERE YOU
COULD FIND SOMETHING LIKE THAT

WOULD BE OUT AT THE OLD FACTORY.
THEY'VE GOT CHEMICALS.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT EXACTLY.
- YEAH, MY OLD MAN USED TO WORK OUT THERE.

GOD, HE KNEW THAT PLACE LIKE THE BACK OF HIS HAND.

SORRY, FLOYD.
NO OFFENSE.

- NONE TAKEN.
- WHAT THE HELL ARE WE WAITING FOR?

I MEAN, WE'VE GOT THIS THING'S KRYPTONITE.
LET'S GO.

- YES!
- TIME TO PAY HOMAGE TO OUR ANCESTORS.

- THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
- NOT HAPPENING.

IF MY DAD
SAYS IT'LL WORK,

- IT'LL WORK.
- CONTAINMENT IS NO LONGER AN OPTION.

Frank: WELL,
IT IS THE BEST OPTION WE HAVE

AFTER WITNESSING
THE HAND GOBLIN!

COLD--
IT'S ITS ACHILLES' HEEL.

NOW THAT WE KNOW THAT
THE ENTITY IS ALIEN,

IT INITIATES
A DIFFERENT PROTOCOL.

Jack:
LADY...

YOU ARE SCARING ME.

WE CAN'T RISK
THE ENTITY GETTING OUT.

SO WE CONTAIN IT! GO!

LISTEN TO ME.

I AM BEGGING YOU!

WHATEVER IS INSIDE
THAT MAMMOTH,

IT NEEDS TO BE RESEARCHED.
IT HAS UNSPEAKABLE SCIENTIFIC VALUE.

WE WON'T ALLOW THAT.

Frank: OKAY,
LET'S JUST CUT THE "WE" CRAP.

OKAY, THERE IS NO "WE"
IN THIS SITUATION.

IT'S NOT FOR US
TO DECIDE.

- DOES SHE MEAN "US" OR "WE"?
- I THINK "THEM."

CAN I BE FRANK
WITH YOU?

YOU ARE FRANK.

- I KNOW.
- (hand tapping)

EXCUSE ME.

I TOLD YOU I WASN'T KIDDING ABOUT THE PHONE BOOK.

DAD, WHERE ARE
YOU GOING?

I NEED A DRINK.

- DR. ABERNATHY!
- Frank: I DON'T HEAR YOU.

FRANK!

- GOD, WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL HER TO SHUT UP?
- FRANK.

FRANK.

(bell dings)

- HI, FRANK.
- HEY, LUCE.

MILKSHAKES ALL AROUND.
NONE FOR HER RIGHT THERE.

Luce:
UH-HUH.

(cell beeping)

TIME WAITS
FOR NO MAN, FRANK.

WELL, IT CAN
WAIT FOR ME.

YOU'RE PUTTING
EVERYONE AT RISK.

(chuckles)

I'M PUTTING
THEM AT RISK.

LET'S GET SOMETHING
STRAIGHT, SISTER,

AND I WANT EVERYONE
HERE TO BE VERY CLEAR

ON THE DYNAMICS
OF OUR EXACT SITUATION.

SCENARIO ONE--

I HELP YOU...

KILL THE MAMMOTH.

WE SUCCEED,

- THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T BLOW US UP.
- CORRECT.

SCENARIO TWO--
I HELP YOU.

WE FAIL,

AND IN--
WELL, WHAT IS IT?

IT'S A LITTLE LESS
THAN 5 HOURS AND 52 MINUTES

EVERYONE IN THIS
GOOD TOWN IS DEAD.

- I DON'T LIKE SCENARIO TWO.
- ME NEITHER.

Frank:
THERE'S MORE.

SCENARIO THREE--

WE GO GET MY DAD,

AND WE CELEBRATE
MY DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY.

AND WE SPEND THE LAST SIX HOURS OF OUR EXISTENCE

DOING SOMETHING
THAT MATTERS.

- AMEN TO THAT.
- Frank: THANK YOU.

THAT WOULDN'T BE
A GOOD DECISION.

AT LEAST IT WOULD
BE MY DECISION.

(sighs)

LOOK, IF I AGREE
TO DO THIS,

TO KILL THE MAMMOTH,

I WANT MY FAMILY EVACUATED OUT OF HERE IMMEDIATELY.

- THANK YOU, LUCE.
- I CAN'T OFFER YOU THAT.

WELL, THEN YOU CAN GO
TO H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS.

OKAY, LAST CHANCE OR I APPROACH THIS ON MY OWN,

A SCENARIO THAT DEFINITELY LOWERS THE ODDS.

- HOW MUCH? ARE WE TALKING 10 %, 15 %?
- FRANK!

I NEED TO SPEAK
WITH MY DAUGHTER.

SWEETIE?

COME OVER HERE.
SIT DOWN.

LOOK, THERE'S SOME STUFF THAT I'VE BEEN WANTING TO--

NO, THIS IS STUFF THAT I NEED TO SAY TO YOU.

I GUESS...

THIS IS WHY
YOU WERE LATE TODAY.

OH, YEAH.

I'M SORRY I ACTED
THE WAY I DID.

NO, FORGET IT. I MEAN,
YOU HAD EVERY RIGHT.

I HAVEN'T BEEN
THERE FOR YOU. I...

I'VE BEEN HIDING.

LOOK, I KNOW WORDS

DON'T SEEM TO MEAN TOO MUCH RIGHT NOW,
BUT I JUST--

I NEED YOU TO KNOW
THAT I'M PROUD OF YOU.

AND I KNOW IF YOUR MOM WERE STILL HERE,

SHE WOULD BE PROUD
OF YOU TOO.

EVER SINCE
YOUR MOM DIED,

I'VE BEEN OVERPROTECTIVE OF YOU.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING:
AFTER TODAY,

THE ONE THING I KNOW
IS YOU'RE TOUGH...

JUST LIKE SHE WAS.

MAYBE EVEN TOUGHER.

WHICH IS WHY...

I WANTED YOU
TO HAVE THIS

ON YOUR BIRTHDAY.

IT'S MOM'S.

YEAH, I GAVE IT TO HER
WHEN WE FIRST MET.

I THINK IT'S TIME
YOU WEAR IT.

NOW... HEY.

IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.

TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT
ME TO DO HERE.

"RIDE THE TEMPEST.

TAME THE WAVES,
KILL THE SHARKS."

- WHAT?
- IT'S A QUOTE, DAD.

THE VIETNAMESE
JOAN OF ARC.

OH.

OH, RIGHT,
OF COURSE IT IS.

I'M GLAD I SENT YOU
TO THAT PRIVATE SCHOOL.

OKAY, EVERYBODY!

IF YOU DON'T
WANNA HELP,

I SUGGEST YOU
HOLD UP HERE.

THEY SAY YOU HAVEN'T
REALLY LIVED

UNLESS YOU'VE LOOKED
DEATH IN THE FACE.

I GUESS I'M GONNA
LIVE FOREVER THEN.

ALL RIGHT,
LET'S GET YOU OUT OF THERE.

Frank: DAD?

- DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- WHOA.

THE MONKEY'S A GUY.

UM, RIGHT.

WE HAVE AN ALIEN-POSSESSED
MAMMOTH ON THE LOOSE,

AND IF WE DON'T STOP IT,
THE GOVERNMENT IS GONNA KILL ALL OF US.

(laughing)

THAT'S CUTE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE SERIOUS?

I'M SERIOUS.

I DON'T KNOW
QUITE WHAT TO DO.

WHAT WOULD PATRICK MacNEE DO HERE?

HE'D LET
EMMA PEEL DRIVE.

HERE YOU GO.

Frank: THIS EMMA PEEL,
PATRICK MacNEE THING--

I JUST--
I DON'T GET IT.

Powers: OBVIOUSLY YOU NEVER WATCHED "THE AVENGERS."

Jack:
WHERE DID THEY GO?

Simon: DON'T WORRY.
I KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING.

TELL ME ABOUT
THIS MAMMOTH.

(trumpets)

SEE FOR YOURSELF.

HANG ON!

- WHAT?
- WE'RE ON EMPTY.

Squirrelly: WHAT?

Morrison over radio: Frank,
I think we've got a problem.

Where's Jack?

Frank: WAIT WAIT. SOMETHING'S WRONG.
WE GOTTA GO BACK.

- WHAT?
- WE GOTTA GO BACK!

OKAY.

YOU TWO JUST STAY HERE,
ALL RIGHT?

TAKE THIS.
KEEP AN EYE OUT.

I'M SCARED, SQUIRREL.

I'M REALLY SCARED.

EVEN EMMA HAS A BAD DAY
EVERY NOW AND THEN.

HELL WITH IT.

BUCK NEEDS
A NEW KIDNEY.

EXCUSE ME!

(giggles)

WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

WE'VE GOT A MAMMOTH
ON THE LOOSE.

WE'VE GOTTA
SAVE THE WORLD.

YOU STUD.

(Squirrelly chuckles)
THANKS, SIMON.

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE DOING?

PUT THAT GAS BACK!

LADY, I PUT MORE THAN ENOUGH MONEY IN THERE

TO REPAIR THAT WINDOW
AND TO FILL UP TWO CARS

THIS SIZE WITH GASOLINE.

(mammoth growling)

(stomping)

- (trumpets)
- (tusk squelches)

(screaming)
NO!

GET IN THE CAR!
GET IN THE CAR!

GET IN THE CAR! GO!

I'M SO SORRY, HONEY.
SO SORRY.

I THINK I LOVED HIM.

I NEVER TOLD HIM.

HE KNEW, BABY.
HE KNEW.

WE'RE NOT
GIVING UP, OKAY?

IT'S WHAT SQUIRRELLY
WOULD HAVE WANTED, RIGHT?

OKAY?

(tires screech)

IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

SQUIRRELLY...

OH.

(sighs)

"RIDE THE TEMPEST."

HE'LL BE WATCHING US.

LOOK, UMM...

NOT 100 % SURE
THIS IS GONNA WORK,

BUT HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT PICKING UP SOME NITROGEN

OVER AT THE OLD
FERTILIZER PLANT

AND MEETING US
AT THE FACTORY?

- ARE YOU CRAZY?
- MAYBE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?
ARE YOU WITH ME?

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. HEAD DOWN,
STAY OUT OF SIGHT, OKAY?

- YEAH.
- SIMON'S ON HIS WAY.

WELL, HE'D BETTER BE,

BECAUSE IF THIS THING WON'T GO DOWN IN A BLAZE OF GLORY,

WE'RE GONNA NEED A HELL OF A LOT OF JUICE

- TO SEND IT BACK TO THE ICE AGE.
- (grunts)

(gunshot)

GENTLEMEN...
MA'AM,

THE GREAT STATE OF LOUISIANA NEEDS YOUR HELP.

TAKE IT BACK...
AND UP!

THESE WON'T STOP
THE MAMMOTH,

BUT THEY'LL DEFINITELY
GIVE HIM A PUSH

IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

DEMOTED FROM SHERIFF TO RODEO CLOWN IN A FEW SHORT HOURS.

I WOULDN'T WORRY
ABOUT WORD GETTING OUT.

- ARE YOU ALWAYS THIS CHEERFUL?
- IT'S ONE OF MY GOOD DAYS.

VERY GOOD.

HMM?

(stomping approaches)

(screaming)

- Man: IT'S COMING!
- Man #2: WHAT IS THAT?

HELP ME OUT OF HERE!
GET ME OUT OF HERE!

LET'S GET GOING!
MOVE IT, MOVE IT!

(screams)

- GOTTA GET OUT!
- (trumpeting)

(man #3 screams)

(screams)

IT'S COMING YOUR WAY!

FRY THE BASTARD.

(trumpeting)

Morrison:
SON OF A BITCH.

DEAR GOD.

GOD IS
FOR SUNDAY, FRANK.

TODAY WE PRAY
TO NIKE.

RUN!

(Morrison screams)

KEEP RUNNING!
DON'T STOP!

(stomping)

(trumpeting)

WOULD YOU MIND?
YOU'VE GOT THE GUN AND EVERYTHING.

- (groans)
- YEAH. GOOD JOB.

OKAY, WATCH YOUR STEP.

YEAH.

OH, WAIT.

THERE THEY ARE RIGHT THERE.
THOSE VALVES.

RIGHT THERE. THEY CONTROL
THE STEAM AND AIRFLOW.

YOU KNOW, FOR ADDING
CATALYZERS TO THE STEEL

TO QUANTIFY
TENSILE STRENGTH.

DAD...
BASIC ENGLISH.

OH RIGHT, YEAH.

WELL, ESSENTIALLY WHATEVER GOES IN THE SYSTEM

WILL COME OUT
OF THE CHAMBER

UNLESS WE CHOOSE
TO SEAL IT OFF.

YOU MEAN NITROGEN.

YEAH, WELL,
THAT'S ALL WE HAVE UNTIL SIMON COMES BACK.

- OH, HE'LL COME BACK.
- HE'LL COME BACK?

YES. VERY NEGATIVE.

ALL RIGHT, WELL,
ALL WE HAVE LEFT TO DO IS INVITE HIM IN.

- (trumpeting)
- COME ON, THIS WAY!

COME ON,
THIS WAY! RUN!

WAIT ONE SECOND.
MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT!

- WE'D BETTER DO IT FAST.
- Man: NO, IT'S COMING! WHAT IS THAT?

WHERE'S YOUR DAUGHTER?

(trumpeting)

HEY, OVER HERE,

YOU BASTARD!

COME ON!

FOLLOW ME!
COME ON!

HEY!

Powers: JACK!

GET OUT
OF THERE, JACK!

(banging)

SIMON HAD BETTER SHOW.

(truck honking)

(banging continues)

(trumpeting)

(honks)

(honks)

I KNEW IT!
COME ON.

THE BIG GUY'S IN THE TRAP,
BUT HE WANTS OUT.

WE DON'T HAVE
A LOT OF TIME.

AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU CAME UP WITH PLAN B?

- OKAY, MISS, I WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS...
- OKAY.

...AND CONNECT IT
RIGHT THERE.

THAT'S IT. WHEN I CALL
FOR THE MAMMOTH JUICE,

ALL RIGHT,
I'LL SIGNAL.

I'M ALL SET!

HOW ARE YOU DOING
DOWN THERE?

MOVE IT! OKAY, LET'S GO.
WE'RE GOOD TO GO.

FLIP THE SWITCH!

Simon:
DAMN IT.

THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH THE VALVE!

(grunts)

OKAY, SIMON,
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

(Simon screaming)

- STAY BACK! DON'T GET ANY CLOSER.
- Jack: WHAT'S GOING ON?

THERE'S A PROBLEM
WITH THE RELEASE VALVES.

THE SEAL IS BROKEN.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO TURN IT MANUALLY.

THIS PLACE IS GONNA BE 100 BELOW IN LESS THAN A MINUTE.

- NOW GET JACK AND GO!
- WE WON'T LEAVE YOU, GRANDPA!

- JACK, LET'S GO.
- Simon: GO!

- JACK!
- Jack: NO, WE CAN'T LEAVE HIM!

- GET HER OUT OF HERE NOW!
- Jack: DAD, MAKE HIM STOP!

- LET'S GO NOW! IT'S OVER.
- Jack: WE'RE NOT LEAVING HIM BEHIND!

THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO FOR SIMON.
LET'S MOVE IT.

NO! NO!

- HURRY UP!
- SHUT UP! DAD!

HOCKEY STICKS.

(trumpeting)

(yells)

(beeping)

Jack:
SO HE'S COMPLETELY FINE?

Woman: HE'S ALIVE AND IN PERFECT HIBERNATION.

ALL VITAL SIGNS
ARE GOOD.

Jack: "EMPIRE STRIKES BACK" ALWAYS
WAS ONE OF HIS FAVORITE MOVIES.

SO WHEN WILL WE BE ABLE TO GET HIM OUT OF THERE?

WELL, THE TECHNOLOGY
IS NOT THAT FAR OFF.

I'D SAY ABOUT THE TIME
JACK'S HIS AGE.

OKAY, WELL,
YOU KNOW,

I HAVE SOME FRIENDS THAT ARE WORKING IN THE CRYOGENICS FIELD.

YOU KNOW,
I'LL MAKE SOME CALLS.

I'LL GIVE
YOU GUYS SOME TIME.

THANK YOU.

DON'T WORRY, JACK.

HE'LL BE BACK.

Powers: AS LONG
AS HE STAYS FROZEN,

THE ENTITY CAN
NEVER ESCAPE.

THEN WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE SURE OF THAT,
WON'T WE?

Powers: WHAT ABOUT THE ABERNATHYS?

Man: GIVE THEM THE ELEPHANT.

Woman: THE PLEISTOCENE MUSEUM WAS FOUNDED IN 1879

HERE IN BLACKWATER, LOUISIANA,
BY ARMAND KAVORKIAN.

THERE'S A POLAR BEAR
FROM BACK THEN.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

HERE WE HAVE THE PLEISTOCENE MUSEUM'S PRIDE AND JOY.

IS THIS THE SAME MAMMOTH
THAT CAME TO LIFE?

Woman: WELL,
YOU SHOULDN'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING

YOU READ IN "THE WEEKLY
WORLD SPECTACULAR."

BUT YES,
IT'S THE SAME MAMMOTH.

ALTHOUGH THEY LIVED
IN THE ICE AGE,

THE MAMMOTHS ARE THE RELATIVES
TO OUR MODERN-DAY ELEPHANTS.

THIS MAMMOTH WAS
AN ADOLESCENT WHEN IT DIED.

YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE ITS FUR ISN'T QUITE THAT LONG YET.

DO YOU ALL HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THE MAMMOTH?

Director:
CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT!

WHO THE HELL TOOK THE PHASER OFF OF STUN?

(dramatic music playing)