Malibu Rescue - The Movie (2019) - full transcript


♪ Mm, na-na ♪

♪ You should be rollin' with me
You should be rollin' with me ♪

♪ Aah ♪

♪ You're my real-life fantasy
You're my real-life fantasy ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ But you're movin' so carefully
Let's start livin' dangerously ♪

♪ Talk to me, baby ♪

♪ I'm going blind ♪

[electricity buzzing]

[man] Aah!

There's nothing students appreciate more
on the last day of school

than a nice, clean campus.

[bell rings]

[cheering]

[boy] Yeah! No more school!

Hello, freedom.

-Have a good summer, Tyler!
-See you, Tyler!

Watch this.

Hey, no skating on school grounds.

-Whoa!
-[laughter]

-Officer Wagstaff, did you see that?
-What?

-You skatin' on school grounds?
-I could have gotten hurt.

Not if you wasn't skatin'
on school grounds.

[car starts]

[belching]

[neck cracks]

Oh, whoa,
this is a really nice car, Craig.

Everybody loves the Miats, brahts.
[grunts]

Yeah, the... Miats is pretty sweet.

Oh, bummer about 
that stain on your car seat, though.

What stain?

[bubbling]

What the...

Whoa! That was a lot bigger
than I thought it would be.

-Well, I'm gonna go.
-You're dead!

[engine revs]

[tires squealing]

[car accelerating]

[engine revs]

Hey!

[yells]

[groans]

What the-- [groans]

Oh, hey.

-What did I tell you about skatin'?
-I swear I wasn't.

-That's disappointing. [sighs]
-You're comin' with me.

Perfect.

[doorbell rings]

Diane, doorbell!

So thanks for watching. And don't forget
to subscribe below for more Mom Hacks!

[chuckles] Like 20 things you can do
with expired yogurt.

Ugh! Number 9 will blow your mind.

[doorbell rings]

Diane!

-I'm making a video!
-[doorbell rings]

Sasha, get the door!

Why are you ringing the doorbell?
You live here.

Afternoon, Sasha.

Hey, Bernice.

What'd he do this time?

[sighs] Come on, Mom. It's not my fault.

Oh, it's never your fault.

Sasha, I'm his mother.
I will handle this.

Oh, it's never your fault.

I'm not even angry. I'm just disappointed.

Sasha, please.

I'm not even angry. I'm just disappointed.

-You should be angry.
-Nobody asked you, Roger.

Diane, the boy is out of control.
He only thinks of himself.

-Mom, Craig made me fall off my board.
-So you vandalized a police car?

Tyler, someone could've gotten
hurt today.

-We expect better from you.
-Sasha, stop speaking for me.

We really do expect better
from you.

[sighs]

Honey, you can't keep acting out when
someone does something you don't like.

Officer Wagstaff thinks spending your
summer helping the school custodian

-will teach you a lesson.
-Oh, come on.

How will picking up trash
teach me anything?

-I agree with Tyler.
-Again, nobody... Wait, you do?

Real Estate Agent of the Year.
Little League Coach of the Year. Oh!

-Dad of the Year.
-[Sasha] I gave him that one.

What can I say? The man loves
a mountable engraved keepsake.

Unless you plan on spending the rest of
your life being a professional screwup,

you need to make some changes.

Let me tell you about 
the summer I became a man.

Roger, please. I don't need to hear
about the year your hedges grew in.

"Malibu Beach Junior Rescuer"?

"...of the Year."

This program, Tyler, taught me
courage, honor, sacrifice.

-Something you know nothing about.
-Honey, where are you going with this?

Diane, the boy thinks he can do
whatever he wants, whenever he wants.

Trust me, Junior Rescue,

it is just the thing he needs.

Wait. His punishment is hanging out
at the beach all summer?

-Mm-hm.
-I don't tell my mom how to punish you.

Don't tell your dad how to punish me.
You're right, Roger.

A summer at the beach
is exactly what I deserve.

[engine backfiring]

Vooch? You're driving
to the Junior Rescue program?

-This just keeps getting better.
-Yeah, it does!

-Why's it better?
-Because I'm spending summer in Malibu,

and being driven
by my favorite driver.

You mean that? I always thought
we had a connection,

but I didn't know if you felt the same.

-What if it was all in my head?
-Don't make it weird.

Well, hop aboard the Vooch train!

[engine backfires]

Wait, I'm goin' to Junior Rescue too!

[panting] Wait for me!

Hey, there! You goin'
to Malibu Beach Junior Rescue?

No, I'm just working out at a bus stop
'cause that's a thing I do.

-All right. You have a good day.
-Uh--

I was being sarcastic. [sighs]

She's scary.

-Hold up!
-[bus engine backfiring]

I knew I should've set two alarms.

Hey, I'm Tyler.

Gina.

Eating some eggs there?

Good protein. Want one?

Nah, I had a dozen before I left.

I got you all packed up.

Sunscreen. Water shoes.

A life ring?

If they had more of those
on the Titanic,

-that movie would've ended in a wedding.
-Mom, you have to relax. I'll be fine.

[engine backfires]

There's the bus. Wish me luck.

No, wait. Wish me a water-based emergency.

Something with sharks. See you at five!

[Vooch] Hey!

Hi! I'm Lizzie. How awesome is this?
Junior Rescue!

I can't wait to get to the beach and--

She's gonna chug that whole thing.

Oh, my gosh. I hope she doesn't choke.

But if she does, don't worry. I'm CPR
certified. I know the Heimlich maneuver.

Once, I thought this guy was choking
so I gave him the Heimlich.

But he was just laughing.
I broke his rib, he sued my parents.

-[gags]
-Are you choking?

[belches loudly]

Aah!

Yeah, she wasn't choking. [chuckles]

Oh, boy, they're headed up the hill!

I did not have
a big enough breakfast for this.

♪ Oh, no ♪

♪ See you walkin' round ♪

♪ Like it's a funeral ♪

♪ Not so serious, girl ♪

♪ Why those feet cold? ♪

You can do this. So winded.
Shouldn't be trying to talk right now.

♪ Waste time with a masterpiece ♪

-♪ Don't waste time with a masterpiece ♪
-♪ Oh ♪

♪ You should be rollin' with me
You should be rollin' with me ♪

♪ Aah ♪

♪ You're my real-life fantasy
You're my real-life fantasy ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ But you're movin' so carefully
Let's start livin' dangerously ♪

♪ Talk to me, baby ♪

♪ I'm going blind
From this sweet-sweet cravin' ♪

Oh, the Pier. We must be close.

No, he's passing it!

Why is he passing it?

♪ I keep on hopin'
We'll eat cake by the ocean ♪

-♪ Ah
-♪ Walk for me, baby ♪

♪ I'll be Diddy, you'll be Naomi ♪

♪ Whoa-oh ♪

♪ Let's lose our minds
And go crazy-crazy ♪

Yo, what is that?

Whatever it is, bro...

it's not from Malibu.

♪ Chocolate in my life ♪

♪ Confetti, I'm ready
I need it every night ♪

♪ Red velvet, vanilla ♪

♪ Ah, ya, ya, ya, ya, ha ♪

♪ I keep on hopin'
We'll eat cake by the ocean ♪

♪ Ah ♪

[Vooch] Yeah! All right, dudes.
We're at the sand! Yeah.

[Tyler] This is my punishment?

This is gonna be 
the best summer ever.

All right, you kids have fun. I'm gonna...

Ah, you don't care what I'm gonna do.

Can't wait to get in the water.

We're gonna be lifeguards.
At a real beach.

Did you know you're 100% more likely
to get attacked by an octopus

at a beach than in a pool?

That's a fact.

[chuckles]

[panting]

That's gotta be... a world record.

Uh-oh. I'm goin' down! [groans]

I'm okay.

Rode...

bike...

from Valley...

Me.... Eric....

What? That's, like, 20 miles.

Man down!

Eric, you have to keep your feet
elevated.

Helps get the blood back to your brain.

Ew! I just saw up his shorts.

[sighs]

Come on, bro. Come on. All right.

Am I dead? Is this heaven?

Better.

It's Malibu.

-[man] Hey, watch it!
-[girl] My bad! Sorry!

Oops! Don't worry, I got it!

[sighs]

Looks like you could use a hand.
I'm Tyler.

Oh, wow, thanks, Tyler. I'm so late.

[flies buzzing]

Looks like you're the one who could
use a hand.

That'd be great.

Wouldn't it?

Jeffy, you seen my great big candy bar?

-Come on. What's that all over your face?
-Don't worry. I'll get that.

Now you're gonna get ants in your mouth.

I think we should set up over there,
because I wanna be close to the water,

but not to need to move
when the tide comes in.

Set up your beach chair?
What are you talking about?

-We're kicking it at the beach all summer!
-Do you even know what Junior Rescue is?

-I do not.
-[horn blares]

What are you doin' just standin' around,
beach rats?

[grunts] Aah!

What's up? My name's Brody.

This is my bro, Spencer.

And that is Spencer's bro, Logan,
who is also my bro.

[both] 'Sup?

And these are the rest of
the Malibu Beach Junior Rescue Captains.

Over the next two weeks, it is our job

to turn you steaming pile of fish turds
into Junior Rescue.

I thought just by coming here
we're Junior Rescue.

Oh, no. This is the training.

At the end, there's this big test.

We pass that,
then we're actual Junior Rescue.

-Now, we're just fish turds.
-...joy of being captain.

-Then what am I supposed to do with this?
-I'll show you what you can do with this.

[grunts]

-[air hissing]
-[groans]

[chuckling]

Is this a joke to you?

You think this is just 
some day at the beach?

Isn't it?

Dude, I'm just messin' around.
Hey, I'm Tyler.

Hi. I'm Eric. Mitchell. Eric Mitchell.

We're from the Valley.

Oh, the Valley.

Oh, well that explains it.

Explains what?

The smell.

That's me!

Rode my bike the whole way here.

And didn't put on deodorant this morning,
'cause I was like,

"We're gettin' in the water anyway!"

Listen up!

You're on my sand now.

I'm gonna run you till you puke.

I'm gonna swim you till you puke.

I'm gonna teach you CPR until you--

-Puke?
-No!

You puke while you're giving CPR, you're
gonna seriously endanger the victim!

Those of you who complete the program
and pass the Crucible

will get to spend the summer working under
actual Malibu lifeguards.

As Senior Captain,
it's my job to make sure you don't suck.

Spencer!

Get these sea slugs
out of my sight.

Two mile run.

Follow me.

Running?

I thought this was gonna be fun.

Move it, Valley!

Before I'm 80!

Hey. Hey! I said follow me!

Get back here!

This is so hardcore!

♪ I need to know, know, know ♪

♪ Whaddaya need, need, need? ♪

♪ Wahddaya like, like, like? ♪

-♪ 'Cause I'm gonna be it tonight ♪
-[grunts]

♪ You can be cool, you can be shy ♪

♪ Say what you want, say what you like ♪

♪ 'Cause, ooh, your body talks ♪

-Ha-hem!
-♪ Your body talks ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, your body talks ♪

♪ You can pretend you don't wanna know ♪

♪ But I read the signs 
From your head to your toes ♪

Come on, it's only a half mile!

Put your back into it, Valley!

[yelping]

-Crab in the boat! Crab in the boat!
-Whoa!

How's the 'bu taste, 818?

♪ I need to know, know, know ♪

♪ Whaddaya need, need, need? ♪

♪ Whaddaya like, like, like? ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm gonna be it tonight ♪

♪ You can be cool, you can be shy ♪

-♪ Say what you want, say what you like ♪
-[crunching]

♪ 'Cause, ooh, your body talks ♪

♪ Your body talks ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, your body talks ♪

♪ You can pretend you don't wanna know ♪

Hustle, hustle!

♪ Yeah, you don't need to say a word ♪

You're up, Dylan.

♪ Ooh, ooh, your body talks ♪

Ahem.

Okay.

The lifeguard's number one responsibility
is keeping people safe in the water.

Sorry, just... one second.

Ahem.

And in conclusion....

No, wait, that's not right.

Seven, four...

three...

Okay. Does anyone see a card with a number
two on it? Got a little circle around it?

I told Garvin she wasn't captain material.

Any day now... Dylan.

Right. Um.

We're just gonna do
the standard Malibu swim tests.

So, out to the buoy and back. 
But make sure...

Somebody's excited to get into the water.

-'Cause you're on the swim team?
-How do you know that?

'Cause your shirt says "Swim Team".

Also your pants.

Oh. Right. Yeah. I live for this.

The tide's really strong out there,

-so be--
-[yelling and cheering]

I was gonna say be careful.

If anyone gets stung by a jellyfish,

I call dibs on peeing on the sting!

[sighs]

[coughing]

You okay?

I'm fine.

[coughing]

Gina, seriously, let me help you.

I don't need your help.

-Hey, how was the first day?
-Why? What'd you hear?

So fun! [laughs]

I'm in pain. Pretty much everywhere.

Are you?

Whoa, whoa! Hey, might--

We might wanna 
leave some of that sand at the beach!

I'm joking. I'm joking.

I just wanna go home.

All right, let's hit the road, kids.

-[engine backfiring]
-[coughing]

[engine backfires]

How is this year's crop?

Pretty good, sir. Malibu represent!

One thing, though.

Did you know that 
there's a group of kids here from...

the Valley?

Of course I know.

Nothing happens on this beach
without my knowledge.

Cool.

So you wanna like, get some froyo or...

-You should leave.
-Right.

[sighs]

[deflating]

"Mom, where's the remote?" [chuckles]

I used to get asked that question
500 times a day,

till I came up with this little Mom Hack.

I thought of it when I asked 
to use the bathroom at a gas station!

Try losin' this, you little monsters!

$25 for organic tortillas?

That's it, this family's switchin'
to Taco Every Other Tuesday.

-Uh, you got a second?
-How was your first day?

That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
I... don't... like it.

And also I hate it, 
so I'm just gonna quit, cool?

Out of the question.

But it's summer vacation and it's hard.

Yes, it is. Very hard.

Roger, I shouldn't even be there.
It's not fair.

You know what, Tyler?

Life isn't fair.

All right? You can't always do 
what you wanna do.

Now, listen, I know I'm not your father,
but trust me.

-This will be good for you.
-[sighs]

Where's that tortilla receipt?

Diane!

[sighing]

Heard my dad won't let you 
quit lifeguard school.

Go away, Sasha.

Fine, I guess I won't tell you
how to get out of it.

You know how I can get out of it?

Same way I got out of ballet, even though
Dad paid for a year of lessons.

You didn't get out, you got kicked out 
for biting Ruby Thompson.

[gasps]
You bit a girl just to get out of ballet!

You wanna get kicked out of an omelet?
Sometimes you gotta bite a few eggs.

Huh.

-[feedback squeals]
-Day two, shark farts.

Aah!

Today, we are going to split you up 
into your training pods.

Your pod is gonna be like
your team for the rest of this program.

-For me, about 15 more minutes--
-What's that, brah?

Nothing' bro...dy. Brody.

Look, not everybody has what it takes
to be Malibu Junior Rescue.

You gotta know your stuff.

Which is why I'm giving each pod an
experienced captain to be their leader.

I got dibs on these guys right here.
You're my Dogfish, let me hear ya!

[all barking]

Who's our captain?

Hey, whoa, Spence. I'm puttin' you 
with the Barracudas over here.

Oh! Thank God.

Dylan.

Let's see what you can do 
with Team Flounder.

Flounder? Really?

Let's move!

Move out.

[Dylan] Hey, guys!

So, I'm Dylan.
And I'm pumped to be your captain.

It's my job to... prepare you for...

Prepare you for...
What am I preparing you for?

Ah! Here it is. Success.

[chuckles]

Full disclosure, I've never really been
a captain before.

No kidding.

I'll be home by lunch.

-What'd you say?
-Nothing.

Why's everybody keep thinking
I'm saying something?

Great to meet you, Dylan. I'm Lizzie.

Don't worry, 
if anyone suffers traumatic blood loss,

I've got a belt I can make into a
tourniquet.

Lizzie. Belt.

Good to know. Why don't we get started?

Sooner we start,
sooner I'll get out of here.

-What?
-What?

[both] What?

You gotta stop saying things 
under your breath.

It's super confusing.

Let's train.

To begin CPR, pinch the nose 
and give two short breaths.

[puffs]

Followed by 30 chest compressions.

[farting sounds]

[giggling]

-[farting and squelching]
-[laughing]

[farting sounds]

Now, how did that get in there?

All right, let's break off into pairs
and practice what I showed you.

Dude, what are you doing?

Clearly not enough.

Rescue buoys are an essential piece
of lifeguard... equipment.

Really didn't need the card for that one.

Okay, Flounders, any questions?

Um... Can we not be the Flounders?

I will ask.

Nothing else?

'Kay. Grab your buoys 
and let's hit the water.

-[squeaking]
-[Eric] Well, okay.

-Almost got it.
-[Gina] Oh...

Hey!

Why are these things so slippery?

[chuckling]

Did you do this?

You caught me.

[laughs]

Are you trying to get kicked out?

Thought that was obvious.

What are you doing with that?

Jeffy! You seen my baby oil?

Not cool, Jeffy. Not cool!

Pretty solid second day, especially from
my pod! Let me hear you, Dogfish!

[all barking]

Barracuda, Hammerhead, Stingray, Sea Lion,
high-five.

Flounders.

I need to see
a little bit more out of you.

And by a little I mean a lot.

Now get off my beach.

[creaking]

What's that?

[all gasp]

[laughter]

Nice knowin' you guys.

Mr. Cross, I'm so sorry 
for all the trouble today.

No, I'm sorry, Dylan.

I had my doubts putting you
in charge of that pod.

You lack the confidence necessary
to be a true leader.

Whoa, all right? It's not her fault.

I'm the problem.
You should kick me out.

-Kick you out?
-Great idea. Lot of growin' up to do.

-Well, I better get goin'.
-Hey! Ah!

Get back here. You're not goin' anywhere.

Dylan, you really need to step up your
game if you're gonna be captain of a pod.

-Understood?
-Understood. I won't let you down.

Dylan, I didn't mean
to get you in trouble.

Well, you did.

It's not her fault. You can't be mad
at her like that. She didn't do anything.

You're Roger's son.

Stepson.

You know, back in the day,
Roger and I were pod mates.

He was even named
Junior Rescuer of the Year.

Gave up the Malibu life 
and moved to the Valley.

[sighs] We lost a good one.

He's not dead.

Oh, isn't he?

Look, I know what you're trying
to do here, Tyler.

You think if you act like an idiot, 
I'll throw you out of the program.

It's not gonna happen.

But I'm bringing my whole pod down.

Exactly.

I'll let you in on a little secret.

I don't want you, or any of the losers
in that pod, in my program.

What?

This summer, 
the bleeding hearts at City Hall

decided I needed 
to be a little bit more inclusive.

They forced me to accept candidates
from...

non-beach cities.

You don't want us 
as we're from the Valley?

That's right.

For years, the Junior Rescue 
only accepted Malibu's finest.

Malibu locals protecting Malibu beaches.

That's the way it should be.

That's messed up.

What's messed up is some bureaucrat
telling me how to run my beach.

Tyler, I didn't know what to do.

-Until your father--
-Stepfather.

...asked me to straighten you out.

Then I realized it was a gift 
from Poseidon himself.

-[cackles]
-What?

A punk like you is what I need 
to show the mayor

-I know what's best for my beach.
-That's not fair.

Welcome to Malibu.

I'm sorry you guys were punished
for something you didn't do.

I heard that in the Marines, 
if a recruit is acting like an idiot,

the unit puts an orange in
a sock and beats him with it.

I've got half a clementine 
left from lunch. Would that work?

You won't believe what Cross told me.

Tyler, save it.

-But--
-Maybe this is just a big game to you,

-but I actually want to be here.
-We all do.

So just stop.

[Gina scoffs]

Oh, hey, bro, when you finish up here,
I got a bookshelf you can put together.

[laughing]

Bookshelf! That's hilarious.

I know, right? I don't even read!

[sighs]

Why don't we take a quick break and
we'll do some endurance training?

I'll go get my notecards.

I think someone's in trouble.

-Tyler, enough.
-Seriously. What's your deal?

No, really, look!

-I'll go get help.
-Oh...

We are the help.

Yeah, we are.

Thank you.

Are you kidding? I've been waiting
for someone's life to be in danger!

I thought it'd never happen.

-Lizzie!
-Right, right.

What's wrong?

I-- I'm gonna go get help.

But... That was my idea.

[Tyler] Keep going, come on! Almost there!

-We got you!
-Get him on. Okay, paddle, we gotta go.

-[Lizzie] Come on!
-Go.

We got you, buddy, let's go. Hang on.

Come on, guys. You got him. You got him.

Starting compressions.

Live, man! Live!

Stay away from the light!

The light is not your friend!

Nobody panic, I got my CPR cards
right here.

-Come on.
-What's goin' on?

Our pod pulled this dude
out of the water.

-Come on.
-Is... that a CPR dummy?

Come back to me.

Oh, no.

[laughter]

-Sorry. This dummy never had a chance.
-[boy] Look at this!

Control your pod. Looks like
you don't know what you're doing.

Dylan, I...

I thought it was a real person. I'm sorry.

Maybe everybody's right.

Maybe I wasn't ready for this.

I don't get it. How'd a CPR dummy 
get out in the ocean?

Jeffy! Quit messin' with that dummy!
Quit it!

-I see you, Jeffy!
-Don't run away from me!

You know I can't run in sand! Jeffy,
get back here!

Hey!

Save any lives today?

Real funny, Vooch.

-What'd I say?
-We don't wanna talk about it.

Just take us home, man.

All right.

[engine backfiring]

[coughing]

Yeah, that's what I thought.

-What?
-Its broken. But relax.

I can fix it. Just give me 20 minutes.

30 minutes.

-[banging and clattering]
-How's it goin', Vooch?

Ah, 20... 30 minutes, tops.

He's been saying that for an hour.

I could call my mom to pick us up.

But I'd have to tell her the bus broke 
down. She'd never let me ride it again.

She's a worrier. [chuckles]

I'm glad I'm sitting here right now.

I'm not ready 
to tell my parents about today.

It was kind of exciting, though. 
We saved a guy today.

Okay, not a guy, but a very expensive
piece of equipment.

-I really thought someone was drowning.
-Hey, we all did. It's not your fault.

I know it's not. It's your fault.

Because of you, 
everybody thinks we're a joke.

No, they don't.

Oh, no, they do. Trust me.

I know the difference 
between when people are laughing with me,

and people are laughing at me.

And today it was the latter.

What's your deal, anyway?

I was just...

trying to get myself kicked out.

Seriously?

I've been begging my parents for years 
to let me come here.

But my mom was like, 
"Lizzie, what if you get hurt?

Lizzie, what if you drown?
Lizzie, what if..."

Actually, it was just those two things
she's worried about.

I was just trying to get my stepdad
off my back. He thinks I'm a screwup.

Why are you taking that out on us?

I'm not, I wasn't even thinking
about you guys.

[Eric] Tyler!

Ouch!

I didn't mean it like that.

You know, if you put 
half as much effort into this program

as you did trying to get out of it,
you might actually be good at it.

[Gina] I don't care 
if you're good at it or not.

I didn't sign up for Junior Rescue 
to spend the summer

rebuilding lifeguard chairs.

I wanna start next season in peak
condition.

I came here to swim.

I came here to make friends.

Also 'cause my dad says the couch
is getting a dent in it

that looks like my butt.

[laughing]

[Tyler] Guys.

I'm sorry.

It's cool. We're cool.

We're all cool.

Right?

Yeah, we're cool.

[sobs] This is so beautiful, you guys.

Moments like this are the reason 
I became a school bus driver.

Vooch, please tell me the bus is fixed.

Oh, yeah, she's been ready 
for, like, 20, 30 minutes.

[all sigh]

And that's how you use hot glue 
to upcycle used underpants

into a cute purse.

Now, I took these boxers 
out of my husband's undies drawer,

-but I made sure they were clean...
-Get yourself kicked out?

No. They won't. 
And your dad won't let me quit.

-I can drop a cinder block on your knee.
-Or I could just do the program.

If you wanna make the wussbag
move, that's on you.

[Diane] One second... Okay...

And... we're done!

Well, just...

be sure to close up the pee-pee hole 
or you'll lose all your change! [laughs]

So cute.

-[girl] Hey, watch it!
-[Dylan] My bad!

[tires screech]

Thanks.

No problem. Don't wanna
waste time picking up trash.

Gotta make up for yesterday. Only a week 
before that big lifeguardy testy thingy.

That's unexpected.

Appreciated, just unexpected.

Um, what do you say 
we start with a three-mile run?

-Three-mile run?
-[all] Tyler!

Three miles! Let's do it!

All right!

Let's do it!

Jeffy!

Jeffy!

Where are you?

♪ What I want, you've got ♪

♪ But it might be hard to handle ♪

♪ Like the flame that burns the candle ♪

-♪ The candle feeds the flame ♪
-Whoo! Come on, Tyler!

♪ Yeah, yeah, what I got ♪

♪ Full stock of thoughts and dreams
That scatter ♪

♪ And you pull them all together

-♪ Well, you ♪
-♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, you make my dreams come true ♪

♪ You, you, you ♪

-♪ Yeah, oh, yeah ♪
-♪ Ooh, you ♪

♪ On a night when bad dreams 
Become a screamer ♪

♪ When they're messin' with a dreamer ♪

♪ I can laugh it in the face ♪

♪ Twist and shout my way out 

♪ And wrap yourself around me ♪

♪ 'Cause I ain't the way you found me

♪ And I'll never be the same

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Well, 'cause you ♪

♪ You, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Mm-hm, you make my dreams come true ♪

[Dylan] I propose a toast.

I'm really proud of you guys. 
We're really coming together as a team.

We had a rocky first few days,

but I think you're ready 
for the Crucible on Friday.

-What's the Crucible?
-Are you serious?

It's the test we're training for, the
one we need to pass to be Junior Rescue?

Plus, the winning pod gets to work
Tower One for the rest of the summer.

It's the best tower on the beach.

Prime location, 
in the middle of everything.

It's even got a stereo 
and a private bathroom.

And there's this monster riptide 
right in front of it,

so people almost die there, 
like, every day.

How great is that?

How could you not know any of this?

You said you fall asleep 
with your manual on your chest!

Not reading it.
I like the weight, it's comforting.

-Get off my table, fish turd!
-Oh!

[laughter]

Somebody's gotta shut Brody up.

Let it go.

The only way to shut a guy like that up
is to beat him.

Like in the Crucible?

Yeah. That's what I meant.

Definitely didn't mean with a bat.

[Dylan] Okay, don't get crazy.

Brody's Dogfish win every year.

Not this year.

All right, this year, 
Tower One belongs to the Flounders.

[all laughing]

What are you laughing at? I'm serious.

I don't know if you noticed, 
but we're not exactly Malibu's finest.

-Let's focus on passing the Crucible.
-Yeah.

We're as good as anybody from Malibu.

Gina's on the swim team, 
Lizzie's obsessed with first aid.

Eric's... really supportive.

Just want you to know, 
I believe in you guys.

Aww!

We can win this.

We have to, even if it's just 
to shove it in Brody's face.

Who's with me?

I'm with you.

What the heck. Let's win this thing.

Let's take Tower One!

We look like huge dorks right now.

If I said yell "Flounders" on three?

-I'm out.
-Yeah, hard pass.

[all laugh]

[sighs]

I'm telling you, Mr. Cross, the Flounders 
are looking pretty good out there.

It's almost like they've united against a
common enemy, but I don't know who.

What? You think they have a shot
at winning the Crucible?

[chuckles] Oh! No way, bro.

Sir. Bro... Sir.

No, my Dogfish got the Crucible
on lock, so you can count on that.

[sighs] I got the mayor comin' 
to watch the competition this year.

I'm afraid I need 
more than your word this time.

Great day today, you guys.

Get a good night's sleep, 
and I'll see you tomorrow.

-[girl] Watch it!
-[boy] Ow, my knee!

-[Dylan] Sorry!
-[Mr. Cross] Tyler!

-Got a minute? I wanna talk to you.
-Uh... Okay.

I've been thinkin' about our little talk.
I want you to know I've reconsidered.

So, if you want to leave the program,
I'd be happy to tell your father--

Stepfather.

That you've completed it 
to our satisfaction. How does that sound?

-And I didn't even know!
-[laughing]

No, thanks. I'll stick it out.

Oh, yeah!

Right on the bus, baby.

Everybody seat belt up. 
They should all be working now.

[engine backfires]

The Crucible is made up of five
competitions.

A beach to buoy Zodiac race,

followed by an open water rescue,

a half-mile swim to shore,

a backward carry  round the first-aid 
station, ending in an ATV race.

So today, we'll practice operating
an official Malibu Rescue four-wheeler.

This baby has a 250 CC air-cooled engine,
double wishbone suspension,

and an automatic transmission.

-There's nothing it can't handle.
-See you later, suckers.

Not without the key, smart guy.

Gina, you're up first.

Guys, quick.
There's an emergency in the parking lot.

Somebody left an American Girl doll
locked in a hot car with the windows up.

[giggling]

Yo, what's your problem, man?

You're my problem, man.

You're a screwup. 
You don't have what it takes.

-I'm not a screwup.
-Then prove it.

If you can beat me to the end of the beach
on that ATV,

I'll leave you alone
the rest of the program.

Brody, we don't have time for this.

She's right.

The Crucible's tomorrow.

Just let it go, Tyler.

[neck cracking]

Tyler...

This isn't gonna end well.

-[man] Watch out!
-[woman] Stop! Stop!

Guess you win, bro!

-Hah!
-[woman] Look out!

[yells]

-Oh!
-Eek!

Officer Wagstaff?

So, uh... you havin' a nice summer?

Let's go. You wanted to get kicked out?

-You got it. You're done.
-But that's not what I want.

Should've thought of that
before you took that little joy ride.

Be lucky if the sand sculptors
don't press charges.

What about my pod?

Flounders are gonna go up in flames.

And the mayor's gonna be here to see
it happen!

Thanks, Tyler. I knew I can count on you.

What's this? Oink!

[chuckling]

Man, I thought you were actually takin'
this seriously.

I was.

[siren whoops]

[knock at door]

Lights out soon.
You have an early morning.

I know, Mom.

Hey.

Don't get mad at me.
You brought this on yourself.

I know. I screwed up.

Bet Roger's loving that I'm spending 
summer helping the school custodian.

Of course he's not.

Honey. [sighs]

I know you and Roger don't see
eye to eye.

Eye to eye? Mom, he thinks I'm a screwup.

Because you've been acting like one 
ever since we got married.

[sighs]

He really thought this
would be good for you.

Maybe it was.

A little.

Oh, honey, I know it's not easy for you.

New stepdad. New stepsister.

New baby on the way.

But just give Roger a chance, okay?
He might surprise you.

[sighs]

[sighs]

Whoa, you caught that wrapper
first snatch!

Took me two years to master that.

School's out.
Where did this trash come from?

Oh, I put it out.

Don't want you to get bored.

I can't believe this.

We actually had a shot 
at winning the Crucible.

And now we're paying 
for Tyler's screwup. Again.

-Let me hear you, Dogfish!
-[all barking]

I really wanted to see the look on 
Brody's face when we took Tower One.

I'll catch up with you guys in a minute.
Actually, like, 15 minutes, I gotta...

That's Eric business,
you don't need to know.

[door closes]

-[laughter outside]
-[Spencer] You are a genius.

[Logan] I can't believe 
you got Tyler to lose it.

[Brody] Oh, please. It was so easy.

Garvin was worried that the Valley kids
were gettin' too good.

So he's like "Bro-dog. 
You're my number one brahs.

You gotta help me get Tyler outta here.

His biggest weakness 
is that he's a total hothead."

And I was like, 
"Well, his biggest weakness

is he's got no definition
in his arms."

That's not true! Tyler has great arms!

So then he was like, 
"Bro, just push until he snaps.

Give me a reason to kick him outta here."

And I was like, "Dude, it's already done."
Except it wasn't, so I went and did it.

-Epic!
-I know, right?

Guys, guys, guys, guys! You'll never 
believe what I just heard in the bathroom!

[electricity buzzing]

Great work today, Tyler.

You have a real future 
in the custodial arts. You know....

you remind me of a young me.

Please stop talking.

[sighs]

[tires squealing]

-What are you doing here?
-You were set up!

Brody knew he was leading you
to the sculptures.

-He wanted you kicked out.
-It was Garvin's idea.

It's like Garvin wants us to fail
or something.

-He does.
-What are you talking about?

The mayor made Garvin take 
kids from the Valley into the program.

Garvin wants us to look bad so he
never has to take Valley kids again.

Wow.

That's...

That's messed up.

Why didn't you say somethin'?

I was going to!

But then we started doing so well,

and Garvin's plan wasn't gonna work
anyway.

Until I screwed it all up.

[sighs] I'm so sorry, guys.

Oh, my God.
That's why he made me your captain.

He knew I would do a bad job 
because it's my first time.

-Also because you're a hot mess.
-No, I don't think that's it.

-Maybe?
-No...

-We can't let him get away with this.
-We gotta do something.

You got booted out for crashing the
Santa Monica Sand Sculpture Competition.

Yes, Vooch. That's why. I don't know 
why you feel the need to rub it in.

Santa Monica.

-Yes.
-Santa Monica.

Yes.

Santa... Mo-nee-ca...

Yes, Vooch! We established that,
what's your point?

Garvin's in charge of Malibu Beach.
Santa Monica's outside his jurisdiction.

I think Vooch found a loophole.

Well, I am a lawyer.

Not in this country, 
but, you know, same diff.

Will that work?

I guess we're gonna find out.

[cheering and applause]

Welcome to the Crucible!

[cheering]

This is the final competition in the
Malibu Beach Junior Rescue program.

Today we find out which of you
are the best...

which of you are the best of the best...

-Right here.
-[barking]

And which of you are the worst.

Where are those Valley rats?
Mayor's gonna be here any minute.

I need him to see what a mistake
it was forcing me to take them.

I haven't seen them.

[horn honks]

I'm very proud to announce

we've got a distinguished guest
visiting us this year.

-The Mayor of Los Angeles!
-[cheering and applause]

Mr. Mayor! Welcome to Malibu.

Think you'll enjoy watching
Malibu's finest do what they do best.

It's not just Malibu. Our beautiful
beaches are the pride of all Angelenos.

[engine backfires]

-My goodness. Who is that?
-Those are our friends from the Valley.

Part of the Malibu Beach Junior
Rescue Program, thanks to you.

Oh, the mayor!

[chuckles] Cool.

Well, I suppose we should get started.

What are you doin' here?

Just meetin' the mayor, sir.
It's a pleasure to meet you.

'Scuse me.

You're not part of this program anymore.

You kicked me out for something
that happened in Santa Monica.

You got no juice there.
I'm competing with my pod.

-There's nothing you can do.
-That's ridiculous.

This is my program.
I can do whatever I want.

Do we have a problem?

I don't know. Do we?

No.

No problem whatsoever, sir.

So, shall we start the Crucible?

Let's. [chuckles]

[cheering and applause]

[announcer Welcome to the Malibu Beach 
Junior Rescue Crucible.

Captains, get your pods 
to the starting area.

Okay, guys!

We got this.

Lemme just find my cards.
I know they're in here.

One minute. 
This is your one-minute warning.

I can't find my cards. 
I must've forgotten to pack them!

-Dylan, forget the cards.
-I need the cards.

-I never coached a team to the Crucible.
-Dylan.

Dylan!

You turned us from the worst pod
into one so good,

they needed to cheat to keep us out.

You don't need cards, you never did.

You got this. 
Just tell us what we need to do.

Okay. First up is the Zodiac race.
Eric, remember to feather your paddle.

Gina, stay in time with everyone.
Work as a team.

Everybody, hands in.

One, two, three...

[all] Go, Flounders!

I told you we were gonna be friends.

-Let's kick Brody's butt.
-Let's do it!

Let's murder him!

In the race. Murder him in the race 
with how fast we are.

-All pods to the starting line.
-Oh, look, the Crucible's starting!

On your mark... get set...

[horn blares]

[cheering]

And they're off!

-Ready? Come on.
-Yes, go.

The Flounders are first into the water,
but the Dogfish are close behind.

[Dylan] Paddle, Flounders!

You guys can do it! Paddle! Paddle!

Come on, Dogfish! Pick it up!
Paddle! Paddle! Paddle!

-[feedback squeals]
-Paddle!

Pull! Pull!

-Yes! Yes! Come on! Come on!
-Guys, faster! Let's go!

Once again, come on, let's go!

Pull! Pull!

Oh, yeah.

[air horn blares]

Okay, steady, steady!

The Dogfish are first to the buoy 
and the next challenge,

the underwater rescue.

Okay, Eric, you're up. Come on.

You got it.

One member of each pod must retrieve
a sandbag from the ocean floor.

First to find it is...

the Dogfish!

Oh, and the Dogfish get the bag.

Guess that means we're in the lead.

The Dogfish are killin' it.
They're on the open water swim.

-You think he found the sandbag?
-I hope he's okay.

Come on, Eric.

He got it!

-Yes, Eric! Come on.
-I got it.

Hurry up. Let's go!

-Yes, Eric! Whoo!
-We got it!

Eric, yes, you did it!

Might be a little too late.

The Flounders are in second place.

But if they're gonna catch  the Dogfish,

they'd better get a swimmer
in the water.

Time to out-swim
these suckers, Flounder style.

Phew.

[sighs]

-You okay?
-What's wrong?

I can't do it.

Yes, you can. You're a star swimmer, 
swimming's your life.

-I'm not even on the team.
-What?

I mean, I was in junior high, but...

when I got to high school, everybody
was just bigger and better.

Uh... I don't know.

I was just like, "What if I'm the worst?"
and... I just choked.

What are they waiting for? 
Come on. Come on!

What if I get in the water and I screw up?

-You can't be the team screwup.
-Why not?

Because that's my job.

Okay.

-How far behind am I?
-45 seconds.

Meet me on the beach.

-[Tyler] Go!
-[Lizzie] Go, go, go!

[Tyler] Come on. You heard her, let's go!

The Flounders are back in the race.

Whoo! Go, Flounders!

She's fast, right?

Come on, Dogfish! Move faster,
what are you doing?

This is amazing! What an incredible
display of speed and determination!

I can't believe it! 
The Flounders are back in the lead!

See you at the rescue station.

Come on, Dogfish, move it!

[gasping]

-Yes.
-[Eric] Gina.

You did it! You beat all of them!

Tell me... something...

-I don't know.
-First aid challenge is mine.

Move your butts, people! 
We're moving her on three.

-One, two, three!
-Okay.

You better not drop me!

-You're good, you're good 
-Go!

All right, come on!!

Now each pod must transport one member
quickly and safely

-to the first aid station.
-Go, go, go!

Dogfish are falling behind.

Gosh, I hope you don't lose Tower One.

Wanna borrow my notecards?

[yells]

[laughs]

I don't understand.

First Tyler wants to quit the program.

Then he wants to stay, 
then he gets kicked out,

only to leave us a note 
saying he's going back.

I actually think 
he's getting more irresponsible.

He's got a lot of explaining to do.

Sasha, please. 
Though I would like some answers.

The finish line is all that stands
in the way of the Flounders and victory!

Come on, hurry up!

Gentle! Come on! [grunts]

Okay...

We're winning!

You got this, Tyler. It's all you!

As long as he doesn't 
crash into any sand sculptures.

-Eric.
-Because it would slow him down!

-That's all I'm sayin'!
-Tyler! The key!

-Come on!
-Come on!

Go, Tyler!

And the Flounders are off!

Come on! Let's win Tower One! 
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

-Stop!
-Lady, what is wrong with you?

It's Jeffy! He was playing around 
in one of your boats,

and I just turned away for, like,
two seconds, but just look!

-I'm in a boat!
-Please, you have to do something!

-Hi!
-Jeffy.

[revs engine]

Teams Sea Lion and Barracuda
aren't giving up.

-What are you doing?
-Tyler, we have this.

Jeffy needs help.

[laughing]

But Brody will win.

If we don't finish the race, 
we won't be Junior Rescue.

Forget Brody. If we don't save Jeffy,
we don't deserve to be Junior Rescue.

Let's go.

[chuckling]

[gasps] Oh, no.

Mom, I broke it! Please! Help!

He's headed right for the jetty!

-I'm going after him.
-Eric, Gina, go with Tyler.

Try to nudge the boat back to shore.

Grab a first-aid kit
and meet me at the beach.

The Dogfish head for the finish.
Where are the Flounders?

The Dogfish will win.

We're almost to him.

I'm gonna get alongside, 
try to bump him back to shore.

Jeffy!

Jeffy, I need you to kill the engine.

Help me!

I don't think he's listening.

Gina, here, take the wheel.
Get me up next to him.

Almost there, keep it up.

Aah!

You okay, buddy?

[engine grinding]

[Tyler] Oh, no.

They're gonna crash.

Hang on, Jeffy!

I lost him.

I can find him.

[Tyler] Gina, help him.

Nothing stands between Team Dogfish
and victory.

Where's Tyler?
I thought he was in the lead?

Guys, look!

Come on, buddy.

Let's go, Gina!

Starting compressions. 
One, two, three, four...

[breathes]

Nothing!

One, two, three, four, five.

[breathes]

Nothing.

One, two, three, four, five.

[breathes]

Nothing.

-[Tyler] Yes, Jeffy.
-Yes!

-He's breathing!
-He's breathing!

-We did it!
-[Tyler] Nice job, Lizzie.

-It's okay.
-[Mom] My sweet baby boy, my angel.

Jeffy! Oh!

Thank you!

Oh, thank you. My perfect angel.

[sobbing] Oh, I love you so much.

Jeffy, my beautiful boy.

And he's a butt-face again.

That kid's a menace.

I'm so glad I told my mom 
the Crucible was tomorrow.

If she saw that dangerous thing
we just did,

she'd lock me in my room 
for the summer.

[Diane] Tyler!

Honey!

Oh! That was...

Well, that was...

Incredible.

Exactly.

Tyler. You sacrificed winning 
to help that kid.

You know what that means?

-That you were wrong about me?
-[chuckles] No.

That I was right about this program.
It's exactly what you needed. [laughs]

Thanks, Rog, that means a lot.

[cheering]

[Brody] Yes! Yes, come on!

Come on, come on!

And there you have it! For the tenth
year in a row,

the Dogfish have won the Crucible!

[cheering and applause]

Dogfish do it again, baby!

The Crucible's over.

We didn't even finish it.
So much for making Junior Rescue.

The Dogfish won!

[barking]

-Are you barking?
-You're darn right I am.

Watch out.

-[barking]
-Yes!

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Yeah! [laughs] Right on, Brody, right on.

I'm very proud to announce that
once again, Brody and his pod

will be defending the Malibu beaches
from Tower One this summer.

-Number one, baby!
-Yeah!

Oh, well, well, well.

If it isn't the Flounders.

Mr. Mayor, 
I think it's safe to say by now

that your little experiment this summer 
was a complete and total failure.

-They didn't even finish.
-Mr. Cross, there was a good reason.

Yeah. The reason is because they stink.

[giggling]

Brody.

Uh-oh.

Congratulations.

-[boy] Oh, yeah!
-[laughter]

No, congratulations to you.

For being a loser.

-Oh-ho-ho!
-Oh! [laughs]

-You showed a lot of restraint there.
-I put a crab in his shorts.

Ow! Ow!

Something's pinching me.

Ow! Get it off! Get it off!
Right here, it's moving around.

Ow. Ow! Okay. Okay, okay, we got it.

I think we got it. Oh!

[groans]

Got it.

[girl] Let's go.

Hello, Garvin.

Roger. So good to see you.

Hey, I'm sorry I couldn't straighten out
your trouble-making stepson.

Son.

He's my son, Garvin.

He's not a troublemaker.

He's a hero.

He and his friends 
didn't finish your little race

because they were 
too busy saving a life.

Is that true?

It sure is. They saved Jeffy.

Jeffy? Angela?

Hello, Clark. I have had a day.

You know them?

Jeffy's...

our son.

Jeffy, get your finger out of your nose.

Sweet! We saved the mayor's son!

Crap.

Malibu's lucky to have heroes like you.

Garvin. What tower are you giving 
to these fine young people?

No tower. They didn't finish the Crucible.

They're not Malibu Beach Junior Rescue,
those are the rules.

They rescued a junior at Malibu Beach.

Pretty much checks all my boxes.

[crowd] Yeah! Yeah!

If they don't deserve a tower,
I don't know who does.

[cheering and applause]

Okay. They can have Tower 19, 
by the dumpster.

[flies buzzing]

Ha-hem.

[woman] Have a heart. Come on.

Tower Two. They can have Tower Two.

[cheering]

[Lizzie] Tower Two!

-But that's my tower.
-Beat it.

Okay.

So proud of you.

I got my eye on you.

One slipup...

you're gone.

You won't make it through
the summer.

-[laughing]
-Guys, we did it!

-Tower Two!
-We did it!

-Nice!
-Whoo!

[Dylan] Under the rules!

This is so cool.

So beautiful.

I can't believe it's ours.

Not bad for a bunch of fish turds
from the Valley.

This summer's gonna be awesome.

Guys, guys, guys!

Don't freak out too loud, I'm supposed 
to tell you tomorrow, but I couldn't wait.

Guess what's in this bag!

Our uniforms?

It's your uniforms! [giggles]

Nice!

You guys thinking what I'm thinking?