Mail Order Bride (2003) - full transcript
When Toni discovers several of his men have been scammed by a Russian mail-order bride who?s escaped back to Russia, he decides to send his troublesome nephew, Anthony Santini to bring back the girl and the money. Only, Anthony Santini can?t seem to get the mob thing right.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
[gentle music]
[tires screeching]
[car crashing]
[woman chuckles]
[slot machine whirrs]
[slot machine dings]
[gun fires]
[glass shatters]
[woman screams]
- Ever since I've
been a young kid,
I've been chasing my dream,
to be the head of
the Santini family.
Seven!
- This kid, my nephew,
he was a pain in my ass.
- [Anthony] My father, God
rest his soul, never got there.
- My poor brother.
- [Anthony] My mother, God rest
her soul, never helped 'em.
- I think he took
after his mother.
- [Anthony] My best buddy,
Tommy, asthma in all,
through he could be a
professional dodgeball player.
- And his friends, [speaking
in foreign language].
- [Anthony] My family finally
let me into the inner circle,
they could see my potential.
- You know, when you two
are standin' like that,
close together, you
look like number 10.
- We had him run some pickups
for us, simple pickups.
He screwed that up too.
- Empty your damn pockets, kid!
[upbeat music]
- Instead of jumping
in the river,
he hands over the whole
operation to the Feds.
- [Anthony] I'm not stupid,
I knew I was supposed to run.
I just didn't know where.
- Freeze!
- Hey, what the fuck is this?
- FBI.
- This kid has the
smarts of a pencil.
- [Mobster] All
right, I'm goin'.
- [Anthony] Now, I'm ready
to take over the family,
all I need is a break,
just one little break.
- Help, that's my spot.
[upbeat music]
♪ Baby
♪ Baby, oh.
♪ I'm your baby
♪ And baby you're mine
♪ Come on now baby
♪ It's not a sigh
♪ Keep my heart beatin', baby
♪ Through the night
♪ Come on, take me higher
♪ Whoo, do me right
♪ I'm gonna like the way
you make me feel tonight ♪
♪ Ooh, sex pop, sex pop
♪ You're on my mind
♪ You can give me everything
♪ Take me out and come along
♪ Sex pop, sex pop
♪ You're on my list
♪ Baby, you can turn me on
♪ Turn me on, baby
- My man.
♪ Feel it now, baby
♪ On top of me now
[woman laughs]
- [Man In House] Don't
forget the cannoli.
- Yeah, yeah.
[horn honking]
- Tommy, let go!
- See ya later, pop.
[curious playful music]
[car horn honking]
- Hey, what's what?
Hey, Eddie, how ya doin'?
Hey, how ya doin'?
Hey!
Hey, how you doin'?
- Hey, how ya doin'?
- Hey, how ya doin'?
- How you doing?
- How you doing?
- How ya doin'?
- Hey, how you doin'?
- Whoa, you've been workin' out.
- How ya doin'?
- How ya doin'?
- How ya doin'?
- How ya doin'?
- Hey, how ya doin', Anthony?
- How ya doin'?
- Yeah.
- Hey, how ya doin'?
- How ya doin'?
Hey, hey, you look good.
- Hey, aah.
Hey, anybody know what
number came out last night?
- Yeah, yeah. Four, nine, one.
- What'd you say?
- Hey, Whiner, how ya feelin'?
- How am I feelin'?
My tooth hurts, the Rangers
lost, my back is killin' me.
- Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that.
Uh, what do you got for me?
- What do you got for my feet?
I got bunions bigger
than Mount Rushmore.
- No, no, no, no, no, no,
pickups, pickup, pickups?
[hand slaps]
[guys laughing]
- Hey, stop picking on me!
- What are ya doin'
with the fat kid?
- Hey, Manny, Don Ho called,
he wants his shirt
back! [laughs]
- Didn't your uncle say
to stay away from him?
You know, he's a [speaking
in foreign language].
- I know.
- Ah, here we go.
Usual suspects.
Frankie the Face,
Dominic the Dog,
Stevie the Skunk,
and Buddha the Brow.
- Buddha the Brow?
That guy drives me crazy!
[upbeat tranquil music]
[singing in foreign language]
- I hate coming here,
it smells like curry.
- Hey, Hey, gimme that.
- I'm calling my-
- Yeah, yeah,
I need two cows heads and the
turban, all right? [laughs]
This guy.
Hey, Pisson. [chuckles]
- It's Pison.
- Hey.
- Come on, man. Come on.
- Hey, forget about it. [laughs]
Forget about it.
Anthony and Tommy, oh boy,
I've haven't seen you
guys since that time
at the Coppo with
Sally. [laughs]
- What is the fuck
are you talkin' about?
- Hey, forget about
it. [chuckles]
- Mikey the Fish
got stuck in Queens,
we're doin' the pickup.
- Oh, how wonderful.
Then soon all this
will be yours.
- Stop being stupid.
- What? How am I stupid?
Like a clown?
Like, am I stupid
like a clown? [laughs]
- Come on, Buddha, you
got to take or what?
Come on.
- Oh, so, you come
to me on the day
of daughter's wedding and-
- Stop fuckin'
around! I'll smack ya.
- What? Are you talking to me?
- Yeah, I'm talkin' to you.
- You talking to me?
- Yeah, I'm talkin' to you!
- I never went down, Ray.
Look at me, Ray,
I never went down.
- Buddha, just gimme the take.
- You broke my heart, Fritos.
I know it was you.
- Aah.
And it's Fredo.
[Tommy grunts]
[door creaks]
- Hey, boss, where you been?
I've been lookin'
all over for you.
- I told you, I had to go to
the doctor this afternoon.
[typewriter clicking]
[curious music]
- Yeah, what'd he say?
- He said stress
generates acid reflux.
And to counteract that,
I have to ingest 500
milligrams of some shit.
- [Whiner] What does that mean?
- It means, when
I go fuckin' nuts,
and the [indistinct], acts
up, I gotta take these pills
so I don't get sick.
- Did he say what
causes all the stress?
- No.
But I got a pretty
good fuckin' idea.
This kid, my nephew,
he's makin' me crazy.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I
gave my brother my word,
God rest his soul,
but enough is enough.
This fuckin' shim is killin' me!
He's gonna put me right
next to his father!
You know what he did yesterday?
He put diesel fuel on
my fuckin' Cadillac.
I don't know what to
do with him anymore!
- Forget about the kid,
Tony, to try to relax.
- Oh, you want me
to relax? [chuckles]
Get outta my fuckin'
chair, so I can relax.
[playful music]
- You were supposed
to be here at two!
You have no consideration
for my time!
- Come on, Gina.
- Oh no, don't you, come on, me!
You gotta grow up!
Look at how you dress, look
at that jogging suit you wear.
You don't even jog,
ya lazy bastard.
Why don't you wear
that suit I bought you?
- It's kinda itchy.
- And what about that beat
up Cadillac out there?
This is the last time I'm
gonna push this pice of shit!
- Hey, we're almost there!
- I swear to God, my
father's gonna kill you!
And those cretins
you hang out with!
- What about them?
- What about them?
Are you nuts?
They all have the
same middle name, the!
God, I want more than this.
When is your family
gonna give you some
real responsibility so you
can make some real money?
- I don't know!
- Yeah, well, when
you do know, call me!
Until then, were through!
- You spoiled brat
guinea princess!
What's wrong with my sweatsuit?
- Hey, I like your
sweatsuit. [chuckles]
- Shut up!
You know, she's always tryin'
to make me something I'm not.
- That's how they are around
here, it's all about image.
Fuckin' "Cosmopolitan".
- You bum!
I didn't grow my daughter
to be with no bum!
[speaking in foreign language]
You want yer clothes?
Get out!
- Holy shit!
- First class!
- Get in!
- Get outta here! Bum!
[tires screeching]
[gentle bright music]
[typewriter clicking]
[men speaking in
foreign language]
[man speaking in Russian]
[men speaking in Russian]
[typewriter clicking]
- I got eight calls.
Eh, fuckin' Russians,
what do they want?
- Having a problem with one
of these mail order brides.
- What happened?
- It seems like
over the last year,
one of these broads married
five different dopes.
Took them for 10 grand each,
and then [imitates air
whooshing] flew to coop,
went right back to Russia.
- So?
They imported those broads,
that's their problem.
- No, no, Tony, [chuckles]
it's our problem.
One of the dopes...
Jackie the Viking.
Jackie's adding to the
headache, he's got a big mouth.
- Whatever happened to good
ol' fashion fucking romance!
That's what they get.
Trying to buy a
wife. What the fuck?
- So what do you wanna do?
- Let Jackie know
we're on the job.
- And what do we
tell the Russians?
- Oh, what I wanna do is let
them vodka-guzzling shims
take care of their own shit.
They might get insulted
if we don't do anything.
I mean, 50 grand, it's
not even our money.
I'm not gonna get
sick over this.
We'll do whatever they want.
- I'm sick of this
bullshit, Tommy!
Dealing with these idiots,
doing this petty shit!
I'm doing the same thing
since I'm 12 years old.
- You deserve more
responsibilities.
I know a horse that's
going off at 20 to 1.
- So?
- So, what was the
take from Buddha?
- About five grand.
- So I say, we take
that five grand
and dump it all on this horse.
- For what?
- Think about it, instead of
walking in there with five Gs,
you show up with 100 grand.
- Oh, Tommy, I don't know, I'm-
- Listen to yourself!
I'm sick of this petty bullshit,
I deserve more
responsibilities, ugh.
You're all talk.
The fix is in.
You show your uncle
Tony you can make money
instead of just delivering it,
then he'll show
you some respect.
- Back in Russia, I
was the number one
Russian roulette
champion, '95, '96.
[phone ringing]
[gun snaps]
- [spits] Hello.
- [Whiner] Hold on
or the godfather.
- It's the godfather.
[playful anxious music]
- Mr. Godfather, how are you?
- I'm good.
Your English sounds like
it's getting better.
- [chuckles] I trying.
- Alright, let's go right
to the point, Pavel.
You got a problem that
needs our attention.
- I agree.
- Mail out of brides can't
steal from their husbands,
especially if their
husbands work for me.
That makes you look bad,
that makes me look bad.
- I agree. What we gonna do?
- What do you wanna do?
- Well, I don't know.
What do you want to do?
- Well, the first thing we
have to do is find the broad.
- Broad?
- Yeah.
A broad.
- A, abroad?
- Yeah. A broad.
- Abroad?
- A broad!
- Oh, yeah. Abroad.
Hold on.
This crazy bastard wants
to go abroad and find her.
What do I do?
- [spits] Remember,
[spits] respect.
- Uh-huh.
I agree, we must go abroad
and find this bitch.
- What did you say?
- Like you say, we must
go abroad and find her.
- Abroad?
- Abroad, to Russia. Yeah.
- To Russia?
Hold on.
Motherfuckin' incoherent
Russian cocksucker!
- Anthony, remember,
stress kills.
- Okay then, we go to Russia.
- Okay then, we go to Russia.
Who you wanna send?
One of your best men, I'm sure.
- Pavel, I'm gonna
do one better,
I'm gonna send my
own flesh and blood.
My nephew, Anthony.
- Wow, that is very impressive.
You guys must be mad
to send a relative?
- Nobody with the Santini
family and gets away with it.
- Well, I see that,
they wanna try.
- You?
- Don't worry, girls.
- Well, we have the son of
the number one guy in Moscow,
to make your nephews trip
more pleasant and safe,
we will send him.
His name is Ivan.
Send your nephew over,
and they can meet.
- Okay.
- Da.
[man laughing]
[guns fires]
[girls shriek]
[rubble thudding]
[playful curious music]
- What a break.
We don't lose anybody good,
and we get rid of
my nephew, Anthony.
Even he can't make
Russia any worse
than it already is. [laughing]
[Whiner laughing]
[determined music]
- Go!
- Come on, come on!
Yes! Yes!
- Go! We're winning!
We're winning!
- Money for nothin' and
shit for free! [laughs]
- He's slowing down,
Tommy, he's slowing down!
Oh my God. No, no!
[Tommy wheezing]
No!
Oh!
- Hey, how ya doin'?
- How ya doin'?
- Anthony, how ya doin'?
- How ya doin'?
- How ya doin', Ant?
- How ya doin'?
- We just got the biggest drop
yet, from Buddha the Brow.
- Yes, but what
about the scharole?
- Hey, Uncle Tony.
- Hey, Anthony. [chuckles]
We, we were, we were
just talking about ya.
- How's my best nephew doing?
- I could be better. [chuckles]
- Have I got a surprise for you.
- I have a surprise for you too.
- I'm gonna tell you mine first.
- Well, after you hear mine,
you might not wanna
tell me yours.
- Hey, Hey, before you guys
start surprising each other,
gimme the take from
Buddha to Brow.
Come on, give me the take.
You know, you're the last one.
- That's my surprise, um...
Me and Tommy took the
money we got from Buddha,
and we lost it all,
five grand. [chuckles]
- Mm-hmm.
[playful foreboding music]
Come here.
I forgive you.
- You do?
- Yeah.
I mean, we all make mistakes.
Even I made one once.
[both chuckle]
But you showed me a different
side of you, Anthony.
You showed me you have
balls and you're willin'
to take a chance.
- I did?
- Yeah, you did,
and I respect that.
- You do?
- That's why I have a very
important job for you.
Remember the Russians
we were dealing with?
- Yeah, about those
mail order brides.
- It turns out that that bride
robbed a few of the guys,
and one of those
guys came from us.
- Bastard!
- Yeah.
Now, it makes us look like
a, like a bunch of pussies
if we don't do something
about it, right?
- Right!
- Okay, and we can't let
those commie bastards think
that we're a bunch
of pussies, Right?
- Right!
How do I fit in?
- Here's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna send you to Russia
to represent the family.
- Oh my God.
- I want you to find this
broad and bring back the money.
[playful foreboding music]
You know what I always say?
- [Both] Don't trust broads.
- Make me proud, Anthony.
- You got it, Uncle Tony.
[gentle bright music]
- Here she is.
Bitch!
- Wow, she is a knockout.
- Yeah, I know.
She's pretty fuckin' hot.
God, but don't let that fool ya,
she's just a con
artist with tits.
- Hey, I know my job.
Find the broad,
bring back the money.
- I don't care about
money, I want her.
You bring her back to
me, you can keep my part
of the money and I'll
throw in 50 large.
- It's the respect, baby!
[upbeat music]
[crowd cheering]
- We got a deal?
- Deal.
- Okay. You fuckin'.
- I can't believe your
uncle wasn't pissed
about yesterday's take.
- Me either.
- Nah, and he gives
you the sweet-ass job
of goin' to Russia.
- He said I have balls
bigger than his head.
- Hey, I told ya.
You should listen
to me more often,
I know what I'm talkin', huh?
- You're right. When
you're right, you're right.
- I'm telling, man, you're
gonna have a sweet-ass time
going over there, drinking
vodka, skiing, getting laid.
You know, I heard the
broads over there so poor,
they give you a hand
job for a pair of socks.
- Hey, no way, man, this is
my shot, I can't blow this.
I'm going there
strictly on business.
- All right.
Well, if you're
gonna go to Russia,
we should stop by Tootie's
and get you some new rags.
- Hey, that's a good
idea. Ya think he's open?
- [Tommy] Tootie, you open?
Tootie, Toot, come on.
[banging on car]
- What do you think,
shit for brains?
- You got any new swag?
- It's not swag.
It's quality clothin'
at discounted prices.
- Yeah, I see you got
some new shirt in.
- Oh yeah, that's
special, one hour only.
Whoa, whoa! Read the sign.
- What sign?
- The sign.
The fuckin' sign.
Where the fuck is that sign?
I musta left it at home.
Hey, hey, keep your
hands of the merchandise.
Nobody touches Tootie's
stuff except Tootie.
So what can I do
for you two bums?
- We need some new threads.
- And what's the occasion?
Birthday, funeral,
baptism, circumcision?
- No, no, my man's goin' to
Russia on a special mission
for his uncle, Tony.
- Who, him?
I don't believe it.
They don't even trust him to
start his own uncle's car.
- Oh yeah, well
better believe it,
this guy's gonna
be a boss someday,
you're gonna be
kissin' his ring.
- Yeah, in a coupla
minutes you're gonna
be kissin' these rings, capisce?
- Capisce.
- Capisce.
- Now stop breakin'
my balls here,
you're either gonna
buy something,
or I'm gonna back in and
listen to the ball game.
- Awesome, we need
the latest style,
so he looks good
representin' us.
- Style?
Who the fuck you kiddin'? Style?
[feelgood music]
- What's up?
How ya doing?
[playful upbeat music]
[Ivan laughing]
[Ivan speaking in Russian]
- I bet you are
Godfather Tony's nephew?
- Yeah, uh, Anthony Santini.
How ya doin'?
- I do fine.
- All right.
I'm lookin' for Ivan.
- Ivan.
- Ivan.
- Right there.
- Who is the better dancer?
How's the better dancer?
One, one, two, three.
One, one, one, two
three. [laughing]
- Are you Ivan?
How you doing?
- [laughing] I'm good!
- My name is Anthony Santini.
- So what? [giggles]
- So, we're suppose to
go to Russia together.
- Are you the Italian?
- Yeah. How you doing'?
[girls shriek]
- Do you dance. [giggles]
[playful upbeat music continues]
- So, what do you think?
- I think we'll be
fine. [chuckles]
[gentle music]
[typewriter clicking]
[man speaking Russian]
[typewriter clicking]
[man speaking Russian]
[typewriter clicking]
- Why did I send Ivan
to the terrible place?
That shithole America,
to be visit stupid Pavel?
- Because he fucked up big time.
Oh, he nearly put the
whole family in the clink.
- It was either
America or Siberia.
Do you miss him? [laughs]
- Of course not.
I just wanted to remember.
[gentle music continues]
[people chattering]
- Oh!
- Fucking Russia airline.
Fucking Russian airline
run out of water.
- Wow, this is Russia, huh?
Hey, where the hell's the snow?
- Don't worry, you'll
see plenty of it.
Where is vodka?
That is the question.
Taxi!
[Ivan speaking in Russian]
Take it easy.
- Sorry about that.
- Where to?
- To the Norski Street.
To The Basco.
- Oh, you know
who hangs out there?
- Of course I do.
My father.
- Ah, you're father!
- [Ivan] The number one guy.
- Hey, what's
goin' on out there?
- [Ivan] Mail order
brides going to US.
- Really? Stop the car, man.
- No. Drive.
We need vodka.
- Vodka?
Come on, man, we're
here on a mission.
Where here to find Nina.
- For the son of number
one man in Russia,
here's my [indistinct].
[soft music]
[Ivan exhales]
[singing in Russian]
[moves to bright upbeat music]
[singing in Russian]
[people chattering in Russian]
[mysterious music]
- Where are we?
- Number one sauna in Moscow.
It is where we do our business.
- You don't do it
in social clubs?
- Social clubs?
Come on, man, it is century 21,
If you do business,
you do it right.
There he is.
Bon appetit, [speaking Russian]
[man speaking Russian]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
- Anthony Santini, how ya doin'?
[Ivan and father
speaking in Russian]
- Welcome.
- Thank you, thank you.
[Ivan and father
speaking Russian]
- I'm glad to be here.
- Yeah.
- I love this guy, he's great.
- He's a wonderful father.
- You're a lucky guy.
- Um!
- But he has trouble
showing his emotions.
["Dance of the
Sugar Plum Fairy"]
Anthony, wait here, I'm
gonna find us some veniki.
- Hey, how ya doin'?
Anthony Santini, USA.
[man speaking in Russian]
[leaves whoosh]
[man yelling in Russian]
- Anthony!
[water splashing]
Oh my God, Anthony,
what happened?
[Anthony spits]
- I think I found some veniki.
- Anthony, why don't you
sit upfront with the driver
and take a nice
view of my Moscow.
- This guy any good?
- Number one driver
in whole Russia.
[Anthony chuckles]
[leaves whoosh]
[man yelling in Russian]
- I think I'll sit in the back.
[Ivan speaking in Russian]
- What'd ya got?
- This is like a catalog,
it tells where all
the Russian brides can be found.
Look at this jerks.
- Who are they?
- The losers who are
looking for brides.
Look, Glen Harold.
"Single, honest, a workaholic.
Financially independent.
Living in New Jersey.
Love sports, animals,
especially cats."
- What a dick.
- They all love cats. Bastards!
Look, here are the clubs
where we can find Nina.
[gentle bright music]
- [croupier] Ladies and
gentlemen, no more bets.
[roulette ball whirring]
♪ When we're walking
hand in hand ♪
♪ She wears a dress
- Remember, we're
here on business.
♪ Smoking cigarettes
♪ She can't chain
that sexy thing ♪
- I'll be right back.
♪ She's the queen of
local discotheque ♪
♪ My baby likes to cha cha cha
- What's your desire?
♪ My baby's sweeter
than a coke ♪
♪ And sexier than mango
- Look, Sana. Look at this guy.
[nose blowing]
Oh.
I have to see if he's for real.
- And what about these two?
- Keep them busy.
[determined rock music]
- It's okay.
She will be just one second.
[hand slaps]
- Do you have a light, handsome?
- Are you talkin' to me?
- I don't see no one else
handsome around, do you?
- Yeah.
- How about that light?
[Anthony chuckles]
You must be an American?
- Yeah, how could you tell?
- Look at the way
you're dressed.
- All right.
- Oh, and what brings you
here, business or pleasure?
- No official business.
- How about a little pleasure?
[woman chuckles]
[upbeat rock music]
[all laughing]
So what is your name?
- Anthony Santini, USA.
How you doin'? [chuckles]
What do your friends call you?
- My friends call me Butterfly.
- [chuckling] Butterfly.
Nice name, very traditional.
- So what do you do back home,
Mr. Anthony Santini, USA?
- Work like a lotta numbers,
you know, financial.
- Accounting?
- Accounting, yes.
- Aah-ha.
Yeah.
- Excuse me.
- And how do you
like Russian women?
- I, I don't know, I really
haven't met them yet.
- Now, well, there is the
first time for everything.
[woman speaking Russian]
- Okay, da.
[Woman speaking in Russian]
- Da!
[woman chuckles]
I had a wonderful
time with you tonight,
but I have to get going.
- You think I could,
uh, see you again?
- Uh.
Of course.
[soft lounge music]
- Butterfly.
- What is this?
- Some girl just gave
me her phone number.
- There you go.
- Her friends call her
Butterfly. [chuckles]
- Listen, you have
to be careful,
you're an American, you got
one of those bull's eyes
on your head.
Now, those girls,
they all bastards.
- I don't know, man,
she seemed different.
- Listen to me, if I'm
gonna let you be taken in
by the girl, it's my ass.
Understand?
- Understood.
[gentle bright music]
[phone ringing]
- [Vito] Tony, it's me.
- Call me on the other phone.
[phone ringing]
- It's me, Vito.
- I told you, the other phone,
asshole, not this phone.
- Wait, wait, wait,
wait, it's Vito.
[phone ringing]
[gentle curious music]
Mr. Godfather.
- I can't talk now,
I'm busy.
- Don't hang up.
[phone ringing]
- I told you-
- Hey, Uncle Tony,
it's your nephew, Anthony.
- Anthony?
How the fuck are you doin'?
- Good. Good.
- [chuckles] Jesus,
you sound great.
I know you're gonna
find that broad.
I can just feel it, kid.
Are they giving you hard time?
- Not bad, not bad at all.
- Anthony, look, look.
Just keep digging
and you'll find her.
And one more thing, kid.
Take ya time.
- All right, Uncle Tony.
I'll talk to you later.
Buh-bye.
[gentle music]
- We lay 50 to 1, he
don't find the broad.
And 100 to 1, if he finds the
broad, he don't get the money.
- Oh yeah? What happens
if he makes at home?
- Even money.
[soft curious music]
- Where you goin'?
- I gotta go see my father.
I'll be back
tonight. Don't leave.
- What the hell am
I supposed to do?
- I don't know. Sit, you
know, drink, take a bath.
Read about my country.
Relax, I'll be back tonight.
[Anthony sighs]
[phone buttons beep]
- Hello?
- Yeah, uh, hi, hi.
I'm looking for a, a Butterfly?
[upbeat music]
[singing in Russian]
- It's this table.
So where in USA do you
live, Anthony Santini?
- New Jersey.
- Oh?
You have girlfriend?
- No, no, no.
I haven't found
the right one yet.
- What are you looking for?
- I figured I'd just
know when I found it.
- How you say? Cheers?
- No, I say salute.
No, not like this.
Like this.
- Oh! Cheers.
- Whatever.
[upbeat rock music]
- Come on, we dance.
- No, no, no.
- Oh yeah, you dance.
- All right, I haven't
done this in a while.
[singing in Russian]
[people chattering]
[Butterfly chuckles]
- This is it.
[Anthony chuckles]
[gentle music]
So I had a [giggles] really
great time with you tonight.
- So did I. So did I.
- Okay.
Um, would you want
to go upstairs?
- Ooh, I would, uh...
I would like to, but I
got this thing tomorrow,
and, like, a business thing.
- Oh, [speaking in Russian].
- I mean, don't get me wrong,
I would love to go
upstairs, but. [chuckles]
- Yeah.
- I, uh,
gotta [giggles] go.
- Okay.
Can I give you this?
- What is it?
- It's a reminder, so
when you look at this,
you think of me.
- Wow! That is beautiful.
Thank you.
Thank you very much, I
mean, wow. [chuckles]
That was really nice of you.
- Huh, thank you.
- I'll, uh, I'll
talk to you, soon?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- I'll see ya later.
- Okay.
Bye!
- Buh-bye.
- Hey, what's up, bro?
You learning about my country?
- It's beautiful.
- Let's see my Russia.
[upbeat techno music]
Alcohol!
[man cackling]
Here we go, to Bill
Gates and Coca-Cola.
Keep your eyes open, I'm
gonna go look for Nina.
♪ Nina, Nina, Nina
Nina, Nina, Nina ♪
♪ Look for Nina, look for Nina
♪ Look for Nina, Nina,
Nina, Nina, Nina ♪
♪ Nina, Nina
♪ Look for Nina, look for Nina
♪ Look, look, look,
look, look for Nina ♪
♪ Look for Nina, look for Nina
♪ Nina, Nina, Nina, Nina
♪ Look for Nina, look for Nina
♪ Look for Nina, look for
Nina, Nina, Nina, Nina ♪
- I can't find Nina.
- What?
- I said, I can't find Nina.
- Forget about Nina,
let's go party.
- And close.
Open.
And close.
Breath.
[people snoring]
And close.
Open.
- Where we goin'?
- We're going to get some guns.
- Good idea.
[Ivan speaking Russian]
- [Anthony] Where
do we get them?
- From the number one military
collector in all Russia.
[doves cooing]
[Ivan yelling in Russian]
I don't think he's here.
[Ivan yelling in Russian]
[Exalted music]
[guns firing]
- I through you said
you knew this guy?
- I do.
He's my uncle.
[uncle speaking in
foreign language]
- Well what the
fuck is he saying?
- He thinks the
Nazi's are coming!
[guns firing]
[Ivan yelling in Russian]
- Ivan!
- It's okay.
[both speaking in Russian]
- Anthony Santini,
USA, American.
- A spy!
- Oh!
- He's a spy!
I know he is a spy!
[Ivan speaking Russian]
He's okay.
- Are you sure?
[both speaking Russian]
[all chuckle]
- Why does anyone
come to Uncle Peter?
Guns, huh? [laughs]
You came to the right place.
Just a moment.
Right here.
This is best, my pride and joy.
- Wow!
[Ivan speaking Russian]
- This is top of the line.
Only for [indistinct] the best!
And never been used!
Never been!
[Anthony chuckles]
- Okay, okay, we'll take them.
- Hey, Tommy, you
hear from Anthony?
- Nah, but I'm sure
he's doing fine.
- Are you sure?
I hear that place is like
the fuckin' wild, wild west.
Instead of whiskey,
they drink vodka,
and everybody's packin'.
- Yeah, I heard
he's runnin' around
with a couple of [indistinct].
- Well, that guy will be fine,
I taught him
everything he knows.
- Is that where
you carry your gun?
- Yeah. Where do
you carry yours?
- Oh, right here.
- Come on, my man,
you in Russia,
nobody carries guns in the back.
You should carry it
where you can reach it.
- Hey, I grew up in
the Italian Mafia,
everybody I know carries
their gun back here.
- All right, my
man, it's your call,
but don't forget, you in Russia,
and you carry Russian gun.
- Don't tell me where
to carry my gun.
[gun fires]
[Anthony screaming]
- What's up, [speaking Russian].
I told you to be careful
with those Russian guns.
- Hey, this place don't
look too clean, man.
- Don't worry, this is
number one undercover clinic
in Moscow, all the
gangsters come here.
- This doctor any good?
- Are you kidding me?
Any good? Very good.
He's number one
doctor in all Russia.
["Hit the Road Jack']
[dogs barking]
- Who's that? The janitor?
- No, he's the doctor.
- What? Whoa, no!
- Anthony, you don't worry,
he's number one
doctor in all Russia.
- [sniffs] Why does he
smell like number two?
- Because he was also number
one veterinarian in all Russia.
- Veterinarian?
- Uh-huh.
Worms. No problem.
- Worms? I don't have worms.
- Wrong chart.
You got shot in your ass.
No problem.
I am number one
doctor in all Russia.
[doctor strains]
I want you to lie
perfectly still,
we don't want to cut off
anything you might need.
- Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait!
Aren't you gonna use
like a local anesthesia?
- Ah!
- What's this?
- Anestasia, from
the local store.
- It's vodka!
- Hmm, duh!
- What the hell am I
supposed to do with that?
- You don't do
nothing, it's for me.
[upbeat playful music]
- It's fine, fine.
- [belches] Aah!
Now you.
Now say, aah!
[all screaming]
- [chuckling] Hey, hey,
I gotta tell Uncle Tony
about that guy, he's
absolutely good.
Hey listen, hey,
hey, I'm a big boy,
I can walk myself, man.
Hey, hey, hey, man.
[low piano tone]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[people chattering in Russian]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[upbeat rap music]
[rapping in Russian]
[tires screech]
- It's the son of
number one man.
He's back.
Let's get him.
[Ivan screaming in Russian]
Anthony, be still.
[tires screeching]
[police siren wailing]
[Ivan and driver
speaking Russian]
[suspenseful music]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[car horns honking]
[tires screeching]
[officer speaking Russian]
- Hey, man, you guys
through chasin' us?
- Shut up!
[car horn honking]
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
[man groans]
[Ivan laughing]
[man speaking Russian]
[suspenseful music continues]
[police sirens wailing]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[police officer
speaking Russian]
[tires screeching]
[driver speaking Russian]
- Motherfucker,
fuck your mother.
[warning light dinging]
[tires screeching]
[cars crashing]
[train horn honking]
[tires screeching]
[officer grunts]
[officer yelling]
[explosion thunders]
[tires screeching]
- Good job.
- I'm in, I'm in.
- You in our out?
- I'm out.
- All right, Ernie's out.
You're out.
- Two 4s.
- Two 4s showin' on the table.
Take that, you
no-good greaseball
motherfucker! [giggles]
- [Mobster] Yeah, I
give up, scumbags.
- I wish Anthony was here.
- Why?
- Why, why, why?
Because with him here,
I can win a few hands.
- It's a good point, huh?
- Gucci.
[gentle bright music]
Armani. Versace.
Santini.
Santini.
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[doorman speaking Russian]
- Good for you.
[determined music]
[people chattering]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
I don't know how
many more places
in Moscow we can
look for this Nina.
- I wanna go visit Butterfly.
- What?
- I wanna go see Butterfly.
- Forget is, stupid
ass American.
Do you really think
in Russian girl
can fall in love with you?
- Why not?
- Because she falls the
love with your money.
- No, no, no, no, she's not
like that, she's different.
- How do you know?
- Because I know, I
never felt like this
about anybody before.
- I forbid you, you
cannot take care
of yourself alone in Moscow.
- Oh yeah?
I went to see her, the night
you went to the office,
I went to see her.
- You fucking kidding me?
That's it, no more.
- You can't tell me what to do.
- Look at this crazy bastard.
He falls in love
with the hooker,
and he blames it out on me.
- Ivan, take that back!
- Look, I'm responsible for you!
- You don't think I can
take care of myself?
[bottle shatters]
[people screaming]
[suspenseful music]
[moves to upbeat comical music]
[people screaming]
[fist thuds]
[glass shattering]
[people screaming]
[woman screaming]
- Anthony! Anthony!
[phone ringing]
[man speaking Russian]
[Ivan farts]
- Pavel, I lost
the son of a bitch.
- You what?
- I told him not to
leave, but he took off,
I can not find him.
- Don't worry.
He's going to be head
of the Santini family,
he can take care of himself.
- Eh.
Check this out, she's
fallen for some whore.
Mission kaput.
- [Pavel] Wonderful!
- What?
- I, I mean, keep
looking, you'll find him.
[Pavel laughs]
- [Ivan] Welcome home.
- Now you look European.
[soft music]
♪ I'm looking in your eyes
♪ I see myself in you
♪ No, I never felt
like this before ♪
♪ I listen to my heart
♪ I listen to my soul
♪ There is nothing in
this world like you ♪
♪ Stay here, in my heart
♪ Stay here, in my heart
♪ If you stay here with me
♪ What a life that would be
- [Anthony] What's in there?
- The devil.
[Butterfly speaking Russian]
[soft music continues]
♪ And every time we kiss
♪ I take it to the heart
- Nostrovia. [chuckles]
- Oh, ah, nostrovia.
- Whoo!
♪ You came to save me
- Oh. [Anthony thuds]
♪ I couldn't leave without you
- Time to go. [hands slap]
Oh, wait. One foot.
One foot. Okay.
Stay there.
- Do I look pretty?
- You look so pretty.
[both chuckle]
- Chokin', chokin', chokin'.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Gentle.
Gentle.
[both giggling]
Wait, don't sit.
- I can't believe
this is happening.
- What?
- This whole thing.
I mean, comin' to Moscow, and...
I never felt like this
about anybody in my life.
When I'm not with you, I
think about you all the time.
I am so, so, [chuckles]
in love with you.
- Aah.
I'll be right back.
♪ I'm looking in your eyes
- I went to slip into
something more...
Comfortable.
♪ No, I never felt
like this before ♪
♪ I listen to my heart
♪ I listen to my soul
♪ There is nothing in
this world like you ♪
[soft music continues]
[men speaking Russian]
[ominous music]
- [Tony] She a devious bitch.
- [Jackie] You can't trust her.
- [Both] Don't trust broads.
- She's just a con
artist with tits.
[anxious music]
- Oh my God.
- Hi, honey.
Can I get so something?
- Yeah, how about $50,000?
- Anthony?
Where did you get that
gun, Peter the Great?
- No, Uncle Pete.
You know, I can't
believe you lied to me!
- What are you talking about?
- This is what I'm
talking about, Nina!
The business I'm on,
I was send here to find
the mail order bride
who robbed her husband!
- Okay. Okay, let me explain.
- Explain what?
That you thought
I was some patsy
you could take
for some fat cash?
- Okay, at first, I admit,
at first, that was my plan.
But then, I got
to know you, okay?
And you were so different
from anyone else.
I never met anybody like you.
And you're so
innocent, and genuine,
and sincere, and so
funny. [chuckles]
You didn't care about the
clothes I was wearing,
or the shoes, or the watch.
You fell in love with me.
And I fell in love with you.
- Bullshit!
- You don't believe?
- No, I don't believe.
I want the money you stole.
- I don't have it.
- What do you mean
you don't have it?
- I mean, I don't
have it. I spent it.
- Don't fuck with me, Nina.
I've been here for two weeks,
if you spent 50 grand, you'd
be living in a kremlin.
- Come here.
I show you what I spent it on.
[solemn music]
This is Natasha.
My sister.
Our parents died 10 years ago.
So I basically raised
her since she was a baby.
And she needed a heart operation
or she was going to die.
[Nina sighs]
And I knew I couldn't
make the money here,
and couldn't steal
it from here either,
so I went to the US
and do what I had to do
to get the money.
She means everything
in the world to me.
[girls speaking Russian]
- I really do love you.
[both chuckle]
- My whole life, I've
been screwing up.
- [chuckles] I understand.
- And the one time I get a
chance to redeem myself...
I fell in love.
- Is that so bad?
- Everybody back home
is gonna think I'm
such a loser if I don't
come home with that money.
- Who cares about them?
What if I told you I know
where to make $50,000
and even more?
- I thought you said you
couldn't steal from here?
- I couldn't steal
from here, but, um,
that doesn't mean you couldn't.
- Go ahead.
- My friend, Ingrid, is a
teller at the Bank of Moscow,
and she said every month
an American comes in
to pick up a cash payment.
Since Russian companies
can't wire money under
their own names
directly to the US,
they hire these Americans
to set up US
corporations for them.
Once a month, one of
these Americans comes here
to pick up their
salaries in cash.
It's always a different time.
The guy presenting letter,
which I have a copy of,
and the bank director
is instructed
to hand over the briefcase.
Take one briefcase, walk
out, be calm and be pleasant.
He's due at two o'clock, you
have to be in and out by 1:55.
[suspenseful music]
[mysterious music]
Okay, you got it.
- It's 2 Million. Look.
- What are you
doing? That's crazy!
Okay, you have to
give this to me.
- What?
- Give it to me.
- Oh, I don't know, I
don't know, I don't know.
- They're looking for an
American with a briefcase, okay?
You do not blend in here, I do.
[alarm bell ringing]
Okay, we do not have time to
argue, just give it to me.
- Are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.
You meet me later.
- Where do you want
me to meet you?
- Ninth column at
the Bolshoi Theatre.
At midnight!
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Speak to me.
It worked!
You have it?
Good.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Let them take care of him.
[curious music]
[singing in Russian]
[phone ringing]
- Okay, boss.
[playful music music]
♪ Hey
[playful anxious music]
- Hey!
- He's skiin'.
- Who?
- Anthony.
- [Whiner] Anthony don't ski.
- You go there, you ski.
- Why?
- It snows all the time,
winter, summer,
spring, fall, snow.
[Playful anxious music]
[singing in Russian]
[car engine roars]
[man with hoodie
speaking Russian]
[woman shouts in Russian]
[man speaking Russian]
[man shouting in Russian]
[playful curious music]
[romantic music]
[woman giggles]
[phone rings]
- Hello?
- Ivan, it's Anthony!
- Oh my God, Anthony.
I've been worried about you.
Listen, I'm sorry
about what I said.
- Listen, there's no time,
I'm in so much trouble.
- What happened?
- [Anthony] I pulled
off a scam with Nina.
- Nina?
You, you found Nina?
- Yeah, but Nina wasn't Nina,
Nina was butterfly, and she
spent the money on a heart,
and she made me rob a bank,
and now I'm being chased
all over Moscow by the KGB!
- Pavel, he will kill you.
Tell me where you are and
I'm gonna come and get you.
- I don't know where I am!
Look, I'm supposed to
meet her at midnight!
- Midnight. Where?
- At the ninth column
of the Bolshoi Theater!
- Oh, no the nine column.
I have to get you out
of here right away.
[police siren wailing]
Anthony?
Anthony?
[ominous orchestral music]
- 1, 2, 3, ,4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
1, 2, 3, ,4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
Oh my God!
[dramatic music]
There's only eight!
Where the hell is
the ninth column?
[bell chimes]
Fuck!
[tires screech]
Ivan, I can't find
the ninth column,
where the hell is
the ninth column?
- There is no nine column!
- What?
- It is an old Russian joke,
to tell people to meet us here,
they go nuts looking for it!
It makes them look stupid!
[hand slaps]
Come on!
- I can't believe
she lied to me.
- I told you not to trust her.
Come on, we have no time, we
have to get to the airport!
[woman speaking Russian]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[woman speaking Russian]
- Next flight out of
Moscow, heading for Iraq,
in 10 minutes!
- I can't go to Iraq,
I'm an American,
they'll fucking kill me!
What else does she have?
[woman speaking Russian]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[woman speaking Russian]
- The only flight
that is available
in a military flight to Serbia.
- I can't get on
a military plane!
I am so dead!
I'm gonna end up in Siberia.
I know I shouldn't have-
- Calm down, my man, I've,
I think I have a plan.
[patriotic music]
- Ai!
- Anthony.
You forgot something.
[Anthony speaking
in foreign language]
- Forget about it.
[soldier shouting in Russian]
- Ushen!
- Yeah!
- Kazlov!
- Yeah!
- Marezov!
- Yeah!
- Troshin!
- Yeah!
- Chimardana!
- Yeah!
- Churika!
- Yeah!
- Nadikav!
Nadikav!
- Yeah!
[patriotic music continues]
[soldier speaking Russian]
[exalted music]
[singing in Russian]
[plane whooshing]
[explosions thundering]
[guns firing]
[guns firing]
[explosions thundering]
[guns firing]
[grenade thundering]
[guns firing]
[grenade thundering]
[guns firing]
[grenade thundering]
- Hey, look, it wasn't my
fault, nobody's perfect.
What noise?
Oh no, I'm outside, I
bought a cell phone, yeah.
What?
Oh no, no that cleared up.
The doctor gave
me some ointment,
he said it's gonna be fine.
Yeah. [inhales]
Listen, I gotta take
this, all right?
I'll talk to you tonight.
Yeah.
Talk to me.
- Hey, Tommy, it's Anthony.
- Anthony, are you all right?
- Nah, you're not gonna
believe what happened to me.
- God, I've been worried sick
about you, where you been?
- I had to escape from
Russia on a military flight,
now I'm stuck in a
New Jersey turnpike,
dressed like a bum.
- Did you find the girl?
- Yeah, I found
her, and I lost her.
And I lost $2 million.
- She screwed you, man. Shit!
What are you gonna
tell your uncle?
- I guess the truth.
- [Tommy] Yeah, well you
know what he's gonna say.
- I know what he's gonna say.
- [Both] Don't trust broads.
- I'm on Exit 13 and a turnpike.
Bye.
- [inhales] Whiner, you still
taking action on Anthony?
Yeah, listen, gimme
40 times he makes it.
Yeah.
- I'll be right out.
- Hey, Anthony,
when'd you get back?
- What's up, Tootie?
- Wow, nice coat.
Where'd you get the coat?
- You want it?
- Yeah.
- I get 10%.
- Aah, thanks, kid.
Hey, Big Mike,
what are you doin'?
You wanna buy a suit?
- What do you got?
This ain't gonna fit me.
- Wanna buy a coat?
- Hey, that ain't for you.
- Loose some
weight, ya fat fuck.
- This is great news.
Yeah. Thank you. [chuckles]
- What? What's so good?
What?
- Get your desk off my feet
and get outta my chair.
- Why?
- You heard me.
- [Whiner] Yeah, but
I didn't understand.
- [Anthony] Uncle Tony.
- Anthony! You made it.
[both chuckling]
You still, uh,
shopping at Tootsie's?
- No, no, I got this in Kosovo.
- Mm-hmm.
- I got this in Serbia.
- Mm-hmm.
- This little number
I got in Croatia.
And, um, I didn't get the money.
- Excuse me?
- I blew I, okay, Uncle Tony.
I didn't get the
money. I'm sorry.
But, you gotta
believe me, this time,
- Anthony.
- it wasn't my fault.
- Anthony, you've been
sayin' that ever since you
nearly put the whole
family in the clink.
What wasn't your fault?
That you didn't find the dough?
That those bohos
from Brighton Beach
pulled a fast one and
used you to make a bundle?
- Used me?
- The broad set you
up, just like they-
- No, no, no, Uncle
Tony, she couldn't,
I mean, she was different,
she was in love with me-
- She what?
- Jackie!
- She told you she loved
you and you believe it.
You bought that bullshit
like everybody else.
- Wait a minute, Jackie.
- No, wait a minute.
You send a boy to
do a man's job.
- Now watch your tongue, Jackie.
That's my nephew.
- [chuckles] Yeah, and
he's just like his old man.
- You're way outta line now.
His father is my brother.
- With all due
respect, he was a bozo,
just like his son
is a fucking bozo
who couldn't even
find the broad.
- With all due respect, Whiner!
- Yeah.
- Kick his fuckin' ass.
- Me? Why me?
- I don't wanna dirty my hands.
- Ah, Jesus, Tony,
it's been a long time!
- It's like riding
a fucking bicycle!
Kick his fuckin' ass!
- You wanna piece of me?
- I'm gonna put a hurtin'
on you like you've
never felt in your life.
- Go get him.
- Bring it on [indistinct].
- Come on, make my day.
Come on! Come on!
- Come on, you
little guinea shit.
- Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on!
- Get 'em Whiner, don't
dance, don't dance, hit 'em.
[Whiner and Jackie arguing]
[comical music]
[Whiner screaming]
- Come on! come on!
I'll shove this down your.
[Whiner screaming]
- Whoa.
- Go! Go!
- Oh, you all right?
What's goin' on?
- You wanna back me up?
- Yeah, absolutely,
where we going? Come on!
- To Brighton Beach to
to kick some Russian ass.
[Tommy stammering]
[Tommy panting]
[tires screeching]
- Hey, Buckle Eye, you
got a cigarette, huh?
- Smoking causes birth defects.
- [chuckles] I'm
not pregnant, am I?
- Ya had enough?
- No, I haven't had enough!
I want my money!
And I want my fuckin' manhood!
And I want that broad!
- Well, you get your money back.
And, uh, you can have
your fuckin' manhood.
Two outta three ain't bad.
[gentle bright music]
- Hey, look who it
is. Anthony Santini.
How ya doin'?
- You set me up!
- Me?
No, no, no, no, no.
It was girl.
Look, here is your
money, all of it.
1 million rubles.
I mean, dollars.
- 1 million?
- Yeah.
And half of it, yours.
- Mine?
- Yeah, yours
No!
Before I give it to you,
you must ask
permission from Nina.
- Well how the hell
am I gonna do that?
- Ask her.
[drumroll]
[Nina speaking Russian]
- Hey!
[upbeat music]
Hey!
Hey!
- Just follow me.
- I did that once, and
look where it got me!
- Ah!
- Could you just stop
and talk to me?
Hey, just stop!
- I have a reason, trust me.
- Trust you?
Gimme one good reason
why I shouldn't kill you?
- Because. Because I love you.
- Are you kidding me?
You don't know the
first thing about love.
- Yeah, then why did I
come back here for you?
- I don't know, why did
you come back for me?
- Because I didn't want
to be away from you!
- Bullshit!
- I can't explain
now. Get in the car!
- Why should I get
in the car with you?
- Because I'm telling you to.
[police sirens wailing]
[upbeat music]
- You know, I really
though you were different,
I trusted you and you set me up!
- Sh, look.
[people screaming]
- [Agent] Hold it right
there, don't move!
- See?
I wasn't trying to set you up,
I was setting them up.
Because I love you.
[gentle music]
- You did this for me?
- For us.
And I got the money.
1 million American dollars.
[man speaking in Russian]
- What about ya sister?
- She came with me.
Number one doctor in
all of US fixed her up.
Silkwad!
Louie the Leprechaun!
Manny the Mute!
- Thank you.
- Yeah!
Hanny the Hitcher.
- You know, I can't
believe this shit.
- What?
- I can't believe
this kid pulled it off.
- Aah, come on.
Personally, I always believed
the kid can do it, always.
- You did?
- Yes, I did, I did, yes.
- Do you know how
much money he cost us?
- Who cares, what's
money. Money.
I gave 'em a boost, I send
'em on a long vacation
to a nice warm climate.
- Number one guy's very happy.
Profits are up 100% since I
started on earning things,
thanks to my liaison.
- I love this job. [chuckles]
- Yeah. [chuckles]
I think our families
are gonna be here
for a very long time.
[bright music]
- To my friend,
Anthony Santini, USA!
[people cheering]
[bright upbeat music]
- Hello, Anthony.
- Father Joel.
- Anthony, I hear you've
been using foul language
in the neighborhood.
- Oh, not me, father, I
don't use bad language.
It's, uh, probably Whiner.
- There!
- Frank, what do you want?
[player chuckling]
- Who is number one?
- You are! [hiccup's]
- I got a nice red one,
I got a coupla blues.
I just got them off
a truck from Barneys.
- Ha hey, what I tell ya?
Instant respect, baby, huh?
Look at this.
- You're so soft.
- How ya doin', guys, all right?
- Hey, everyone think
I'm a Mickey Mouse, huh?
- [chuckles] I like
this gangster shit.
- What I tell you?
What do you think?
[doctor squawking]
- What is he? Crazy!
He kills three of our guys.
Number one guy.
Sneaks him out of Russia.
And he is back.
- Let's get him.
[bright music continues]
[singing in Russian]
- You've gotta look
at the bright side.
- Why?
- We got rid of
the crazy bastard.
[both laughing]
- Oh God, yes!
- How many times do
I have to tell ya
to get out of my fucking chair!
[soft music]
♪ I'm looking in your eyes
♪ I see myself in you
♪ No, I never felt
like this before ♪
♪ I listen to my heart
♪ I listen to my soul
♪ There is nothing in
this world like you ♪
♪ Stay here, in my heart
♪ Stay here, in my heart
♪ If you stay here with me
♪ What a life that would be
♪ And every time we kiss
♪ I take it to the heart
♪ I swear we'll never be apart
♪ No
♪ You came to save me
♪ I couldn't leave without you
♪ If you stay here with me
♪ What a life that would be
♪ Stay here, in my heart
♪ Stay here, in my heart
♪ If you stay here with me
♪ What a life that would be
♪ I'll do whatever it takes
♪ To give this love
♪ Stay here, in my heart
♪ Stay here, in my heart
[both laughing]
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
[gentle music]
[tires screeching]
[car crashing]
[woman chuckles]
[slot machine whirrs]
[slot machine dings]
[gun fires]
[glass shatters]
[woman screams]
- Ever since I've
been a young kid,
I've been chasing my dream,
to be the head of
the Santini family.
Seven!
- This kid, my nephew,
he was a pain in my ass.
- [Anthony] My father, God
rest his soul, never got there.
- My poor brother.
- [Anthony] My mother, God rest
her soul, never helped 'em.
- I think he took
after his mother.
- [Anthony] My best buddy,
Tommy, asthma in all,
through he could be a
professional dodgeball player.
- And his friends, [speaking
in foreign language].
- [Anthony] My family finally
let me into the inner circle,
they could see my potential.
- You know, when you two
are standin' like that,
close together, you
look like number 10.
- We had him run some pickups
for us, simple pickups.
He screwed that up too.
- Empty your damn pockets, kid!
[upbeat music]
- Instead of jumping
in the river,
he hands over the whole
operation to the Feds.
- [Anthony] I'm not stupid,
I knew I was supposed to run.
I just didn't know where.
- Freeze!
- Hey, what the fuck is this?
- FBI.
- This kid has the
smarts of a pencil.
- [Mobster] All
right, I'm goin'.
- [Anthony] Now, I'm ready
to take over the family,
all I need is a break,
just one little break.
- Help, that's my spot.
[upbeat music]
♪ Baby
♪ Baby, oh.
♪ I'm your baby
♪ And baby you're mine
♪ Come on now baby
♪ It's not a sigh
♪ Keep my heart beatin', baby
♪ Through the night
♪ Come on, take me higher
♪ Whoo, do me right
♪ I'm gonna like the way
you make me feel tonight ♪
♪ Ooh, sex pop, sex pop
♪ You're on my mind
♪ You can give me everything
♪ Take me out and come along
♪ Sex pop, sex pop
♪ You're on my list
♪ Baby, you can turn me on
♪ Turn me on, baby
- My man.
♪ Feel it now, baby
♪ On top of me now
[woman laughs]
- [Man In House] Don't
forget the cannoli.
- Yeah, yeah.
[horn honking]
- Tommy, let go!
- See ya later, pop.
[curious playful music]
[car horn honking]
- Hey, what's what?
Hey, Eddie, how ya doin'?
Hey, how ya doin'?
Hey!
Hey, how you doin'?
- Hey, how ya doin'?
- Hey, how ya doin'?
- How you doing?
- How you doing?
- How ya doin'?
- Hey, how you doin'?
- Whoa, you've been workin' out.
- How ya doin'?
- How ya doin'?
- How ya doin'?
- How ya doin'?
- Hey, how ya doin', Anthony?
- How ya doin'?
- Yeah.
- Hey, how ya doin'?
- How ya doin'?
Hey, hey, you look good.
- Hey, aah.
Hey, anybody know what
number came out last night?
- Yeah, yeah. Four, nine, one.
- What'd you say?
- Hey, Whiner, how ya feelin'?
- How am I feelin'?
My tooth hurts, the Rangers
lost, my back is killin' me.
- Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that.
Uh, what do you got for me?
- What do you got for my feet?
I got bunions bigger
than Mount Rushmore.
- No, no, no, no, no, no,
pickups, pickup, pickups?
[hand slaps]
[guys laughing]
- Hey, stop picking on me!
- What are ya doin'
with the fat kid?
- Hey, Manny, Don Ho called,
he wants his shirt
back! [laughs]
- Didn't your uncle say
to stay away from him?
You know, he's a [speaking
in foreign language].
- I know.
- Ah, here we go.
Usual suspects.
Frankie the Face,
Dominic the Dog,
Stevie the Skunk,
and Buddha the Brow.
- Buddha the Brow?
That guy drives me crazy!
[upbeat tranquil music]
[singing in foreign language]
- I hate coming here,
it smells like curry.
- Hey, Hey, gimme that.
- I'm calling my-
- Yeah, yeah,
I need two cows heads and the
turban, all right? [laughs]
This guy.
Hey, Pisson. [chuckles]
- It's Pison.
- Hey.
- Come on, man. Come on.
- Hey, forget about it. [laughs]
Forget about it.
Anthony and Tommy, oh boy,
I've haven't seen you
guys since that time
at the Coppo with
Sally. [laughs]
- What is the fuck
are you talkin' about?
- Hey, forget about
it. [chuckles]
- Mikey the Fish
got stuck in Queens,
we're doin' the pickup.
- Oh, how wonderful.
Then soon all this
will be yours.
- Stop being stupid.
- What? How am I stupid?
Like a clown?
Like, am I stupid
like a clown? [laughs]
- Come on, Buddha, you
got to take or what?
Come on.
- Oh, so, you come
to me on the day
of daughter's wedding and-
- Stop fuckin'
around! I'll smack ya.
- What? Are you talking to me?
- Yeah, I'm talkin' to you.
- You talking to me?
- Yeah, I'm talkin' to you!
- I never went down, Ray.
Look at me, Ray,
I never went down.
- Buddha, just gimme the take.
- You broke my heart, Fritos.
I know it was you.
- Aah.
And it's Fredo.
[Tommy grunts]
[door creaks]
- Hey, boss, where you been?
I've been lookin'
all over for you.
- I told you, I had to go to
the doctor this afternoon.
[typewriter clicking]
[curious music]
- Yeah, what'd he say?
- He said stress
generates acid reflux.
And to counteract that,
I have to ingest 500
milligrams of some shit.
- [Whiner] What does that mean?
- It means, when
I go fuckin' nuts,
and the [indistinct], acts
up, I gotta take these pills
so I don't get sick.
- Did he say what
causes all the stress?
- No.
But I got a pretty
good fuckin' idea.
This kid, my nephew,
he's makin' me crazy.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I
gave my brother my word,
God rest his soul,
but enough is enough.
This fuckin' shim is killin' me!
He's gonna put me right
next to his father!
You know what he did yesterday?
He put diesel fuel on
my fuckin' Cadillac.
I don't know what to
do with him anymore!
- Forget about the kid,
Tony, to try to relax.
- Oh, you want me
to relax? [chuckles]
Get outta my fuckin'
chair, so I can relax.
[playful music]
- You were supposed
to be here at two!
You have no consideration
for my time!
- Come on, Gina.
- Oh no, don't you, come on, me!
You gotta grow up!
Look at how you dress, look
at that jogging suit you wear.
You don't even jog,
ya lazy bastard.
Why don't you wear
that suit I bought you?
- It's kinda itchy.
- And what about that beat
up Cadillac out there?
This is the last time I'm
gonna push this pice of shit!
- Hey, we're almost there!
- I swear to God, my
father's gonna kill you!
And those cretins
you hang out with!
- What about them?
- What about them?
Are you nuts?
They all have the
same middle name, the!
God, I want more than this.
When is your family
gonna give you some
real responsibility so you
can make some real money?
- I don't know!
- Yeah, well, when
you do know, call me!
Until then, were through!
- You spoiled brat
guinea princess!
What's wrong with my sweatsuit?
- Hey, I like your
sweatsuit. [chuckles]
- Shut up!
You know, she's always tryin'
to make me something I'm not.
- That's how they are around
here, it's all about image.
Fuckin' "Cosmopolitan".
- You bum!
I didn't grow my daughter
to be with no bum!
[speaking in foreign language]
You want yer clothes?
Get out!
- Holy shit!
- First class!
- Get in!
- Get outta here! Bum!
[tires screeching]
[gentle bright music]
[typewriter clicking]
[men speaking in
foreign language]
[man speaking in Russian]
[men speaking in Russian]
[typewriter clicking]
- I got eight calls.
Eh, fuckin' Russians,
what do they want?
- Having a problem with one
of these mail order brides.
- What happened?
- It seems like
over the last year,
one of these broads married
five different dopes.
Took them for 10 grand each,
and then [imitates air
whooshing] flew to coop,
went right back to Russia.
- So?
They imported those broads,
that's their problem.
- No, no, Tony, [chuckles]
it's our problem.
One of the dopes...
Jackie the Viking.
Jackie's adding to the
headache, he's got a big mouth.
- Whatever happened to good
ol' fashion fucking romance!
That's what they get.
Trying to buy a
wife. What the fuck?
- So what do you wanna do?
- Let Jackie know
we're on the job.
- And what do we
tell the Russians?
- Oh, what I wanna do is let
them vodka-guzzling shims
take care of their own shit.
They might get insulted
if we don't do anything.
I mean, 50 grand, it's
not even our money.
I'm not gonna get
sick over this.
We'll do whatever they want.
- I'm sick of this
bullshit, Tommy!
Dealing with these idiots,
doing this petty shit!
I'm doing the same thing
since I'm 12 years old.
- You deserve more
responsibilities.
I know a horse that's
going off at 20 to 1.
- So?
- So, what was the
take from Buddha?
- About five grand.
- So I say, we take
that five grand
and dump it all on this horse.
- For what?
- Think about it, instead of
walking in there with five Gs,
you show up with 100 grand.
- Oh, Tommy, I don't know, I'm-
- Listen to yourself!
I'm sick of this petty bullshit,
I deserve more
responsibilities, ugh.
You're all talk.
The fix is in.
You show your uncle
Tony you can make money
instead of just delivering it,
then he'll show
you some respect.
- Back in Russia, I
was the number one
Russian roulette
champion, '95, '96.
[phone ringing]
[gun snaps]
- [spits] Hello.
- [Whiner] Hold on
or the godfather.
- It's the godfather.
[playful anxious music]
- Mr. Godfather, how are you?
- I'm good.
Your English sounds like
it's getting better.
- [chuckles] I trying.
- Alright, let's go right
to the point, Pavel.
You got a problem that
needs our attention.
- I agree.
- Mail out of brides can't
steal from their husbands,
especially if their
husbands work for me.
That makes you look bad,
that makes me look bad.
- I agree. What we gonna do?
- What do you wanna do?
- Well, I don't know.
What do you want to do?
- Well, the first thing we
have to do is find the broad.
- Broad?
- Yeah.
A broad.
- A, abroad?
- Yeah. A broad.
- Abroad?
- A broad!
- Oh, yeah. Abroad.
Hold on.
This crazy bastard wants
to go abroad and find her.
What do I do?
- [spits] Remember,
[spits] respect.
- Uh-huh.
I agree, we must go abroad
and find this bitch.
- What did you say?
- Like you say, we must
go abroad and find her.
- Abroad?
- Abroad, to Russia. Yeah.
- To Russia?
Hold on.
Motherfuckin' incoherent
Russian cocksucker!
- Anthony, remember,
stress kills.
- Okay then, we go to Russia.
- Okay then, we go to Russia.
Who you wanna send?
One of your best men, I'm sure.
- Pavel, I'm gonna
do one better,
I'm gonna send my
own flesh and blood.
My nephew, Anthony.
- Wow, that is very impressive.
You guys must be mad
to send a relative?
- Nobody with the Santini
family and gets away with it.
- Well, I see that,
they wanna try.
- You?
- Don't worry, girls.
- Well, we have the son of
the number one guy in Moscow,
to make your nephews trip
more pleasant and safe,
we will send him.
His name is Ivan.
Send your nephew over,
and they can meet.
- Okay.
- Da.
[man laughing]
[guns fires]
[girls shriek]
[rubble thudding]
[playful curious music]
- What a break.
We don't lose anybody good,
and we get rid of
my nephew, Anthony.
Even he can't make
Russia any worse
than it already is. [laughing]
[Whiner laughing]
[determined music]
- Go!
- Come on, come on!
Yes! Yes!
- Go! We're winning!
We're winning!
- Money for nothin' and
shit for free! [laughs]
- He's slowing down,
Tommy, he's slowing down!
Oh my God. No, no!
[Tommy wheezing]
No!
Oh!
- Hey, how ya doin'?
- How ya doin'?
- Anthony, how ya doin'?
- How ya doin'?
- How ya doin', Ant?
- How ya doin'?
- We just got the biggest drop
yet, from Buddha the Brow.
- Yes, but what
about the scharole?
- Hey, Uncle Tony.
- Hey, Anthony. [chuckles]
We, we were, we were
just talking about ya.
- How's my best nephew doing?
- I could be better. [chuckles]
- Have I got a surprise for you.
- I have a surprise for you too.
- I'm gonna tell you mine first.
- Well, after you hear mine,
you might not wanna
tell me yours.
- Hey, Hey, before you guys
start surprising each other,
gimme the take from
Buddha to Brow.
Come on, give me the take.
You know, you're the last one.
- That's my surprise, um...
Me and Tommy took the
money we got from Buddha,
and we lost it all,
five grand. [chuckles]
- Mm-hmm.
[playful foreboding music]
Come here.
I forgive you.
- You do?
- Yeah.
I mean, we all make mistakes.
Even I made one once.
[both chuckle]
But you showed me a different
side of you, Anthony.
You showed me you have
balls and you're willin'
to take a chance.
- I did?
- Yeah, you did,
and I respect that.
- You do?
- That's why I have a very
important job for you.
Remember the Russians
we were dealing with?
- Yeah, about those
mail order brides.
- It turns out that that bride
robbed a few of the guys,
and one of those
guys came from us.
- Bastard!
- Yeah.
Now, it makes us look like
a, like a bunch of pussies
if we don't do something
about it, right?
- Right!
- Okay, and we can't let
those commie bastards think
that we're a bunch
of pussies, Right?
- Right!
How do I fit in?
- Here's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna send you to Russia
to represent the family.
- Oh my God.
- I want you to find this
broad and bring back the money.
[playful foreboding music]
You know what I always say?
- [Both] Don't trust broads.
- Make me proud, Anthony.
- You got it, Uncle Tony.
[gentle bright music]
- Here she is.
Bitch!
- Wow, she is a knockout.
- Yeah, I know.
She's pretty fuckin' hot.
God, but don't let that fool ya,
she's just a con
artist with tits.
- Hey, I know my job.
Find the broad,
bring back the money.
- I don't care about
money, I want her.
You bring her back to
me, you can keep my part
of the money and I'll
throw in 50 large.
- It's the respect, baby!
[upbeat music]
[crowd cheering]
- We got a deal?
- Deal.
- Okay. You fuckin'.
- I can't believe your
uncle wasn't pissed
about yesterday's take.
- Me either.
- Nah, and he gives
you the sweet-ass job
of goin' to Russia.
- He said I have balls
bigger than his head.
- Hey, I told ya.
You should listen
to me more often,
I know what I'm talkin', huh?
- You're right. When
you're right, you're right.
- I'm telling, man, you're
gonna have a sweet-ass time
going over there, drinking
vodka, skiing, getting laid.
You know, I heard the
broads over there so poor,
they give you a hand
job for a pair of socks.
- Hey, no way, man, this is
my shot, I can't blow this.
I'm going there
strictly on business.
- All right.
Well, if you're
gonna go to Russia,
we should stop by Tootie's
and get you some new rags.
- Hey, that's a good
idea. Ya think he's open?
- [Tommy] Tootie, you open?
Tootie, Toot, come on.
[banging on car]
- What do you think,
shit for brains?
- You got any new swag?
- It's not swag.
It's quality clothin'
at discounted prices.
- Yeah, I see you got
some new shirt in.
- Oh yeah, that's
special, one hour only.
Whoa, whoa! Read the sign.
- What sign?
- The sign.
The fuckin' sign.
Where the fuck is that sign?
I musta left it at home.
Hey, hey, keep your
hands of the merchandise.
Nobody touches Tootie's
stuff except Tootie.
So what can I do
for you two bums?
- We need some new threads.
- And what's the occasion?
Birthday, funeral,
baptism, circumcision?
- No, no, my man's goin' to
Russia on a special mission
for his uncle, Tony.
- Who, him?
I don't believe it.
They don't even trust him to
start his own uncle's car.
- Oh yeah, well
better believe it,
this guy's gonna
be a boss someday,
you're gonna be
kissin' his ring.
- Yeah, in a coupla
minutes you're gonna
be kissin' these rings, capisce?
- Capisce.
- Capisce.
- Now stop breakin'
my balls here,
you're either gonna
buy something,
or I'm gonna back in and
listen to the ball game.
- Awesome, we need
the latest style,
so he looks good
representin' us.
- Style?
Who the fuck you kiddin'? Style?
[feelgood music]
- What's up?
How ya doing?
[playful upbeat music]
[Ivan laughing]
[Ivan speaking in Russian]
- I bet you are
Godfather Tony's nephew?
- Yeah, uh, Anthony Santini.
How ya doin'?
- I do fine.
- All right.
I'm lookin' for Ivan.
- Ivan.
- Ivan.
- Right there.
- Who is the better dancer?
How's the better dancer?
One, one, two, three.
One, one, one, two
three. [laughing]
- Are you Ivan?
How you doing?
- [laughing] I'm good!
- My name is Anthony Santini.
- So what? [giggles]
- So, we're suppose to
go to Russia together.
- Are you the Italian?
- Yeah. How you doing'?
[girls shriek]
- Do you dance. [giggles]
[playful upbeat music continues]
- So, what do you think?
- I think we'll be
fine. [chuckles]
[gentle music]
[typewriter clicking]
[man speaking Russian]
[typewriter clicking]
[man speaking Russian]
[typewriter clicking]
- Why did I send Ivan
to the terrible place?
That shithole America,
to be visit stupid Pavel?
- Because he fucked up big time.
Oh, he nearly put the
whole family in the clink.
- It was either
America or Siberia.
Do you miss him? [laughs]
- Of course not.
I just wanted to remember.
[gentle music continues]
[people chattering]
- Oh!
- Fucking Russia airline.
Fucking Russian airline
run out of water.
- Wow, this is Russia, huh?
Hey, where the hell's the snow?
- Don't worry, you'll
see plenty of it.
Where is vodka?
That is the question.
Taxi!
[Ivan speaking in Russian]
Take it easy.
- Sorry about that.
- Where to?
- To the Norski Street.
To The Basco.
- Oh, you know
who hangs out there?
- Of course I do.
My father.
- Ah, you're father!
- [Ivan] The number one guy.
- Hey, what's
goin' on out there?
- [Ivan] Mail order
brides going to US.
- Really? Stop the car, man.
- No. Drive.
We need vodka.
- Vodka?
Come on, man, we're
here on a mission.
Where here to find Nina.
- For the son of number
one man in Russia,
here's my [indistinct].
[soft music]
[Ivan exhales]
[singing in Russian]
[moves to bright upbeat music]
[singing in Russian]
[people chattering in Russian]
[mysterious music]
- Where are we?
- Number one sauna in Moscow.
It is where we do our business.
- You don't do it
in social clubs?
- Social clubs?
Come on, man, it is century 21,
If you do business,
you do it right.
There he is.
Bon appetit, [speaking Russian]
[man speaking Russian]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
- Anthony Santini, how ya doin'?
[Ivan and father
speaking in Russian]
- Welcome.
- Thank you, thank you.
[Ivan and father
speaking Russian]
- I'm glad to be here.
- Yeah.
- I love this guy, he's great.
- He's a wonderful father.
- You're a lucky guy.
- Um!
- But he has trouble
showing his emotions.
["Dance of the
Sugar Plum Fairy"]
Anthony, wait here, I'm
gonna find us some veniki.
- Hey, how ya doin'?
Anthony Santini, USA.
[man speaking in Russian]
[leaves whoosh]
[man yelling in Russian]
- Anthony!
[water splashing]
Oh my God, Anthony,
what happened?
[Anthony spits]
- I think I found some veniki.
- Anthony, why don't you
sit upfront with the driver
and take a nice
view of my Moscow.
- This guy any good?
- Number one driver
in whole Russia.
[Anthony chuckles]
[leaves whoosh]
[man yelling in Russian]
- I think I'll sit in the back.
[Ivan speaking in Russian]
- What'd ya got?
- This is like a catalog,
it tells where all
the Russian brides can be found.
Look at this jerks.
- Who are they?
- The losers who are
looking for brides.
Look, Glen Harold.
"Single, honest, a workaholic.
Financially independent.
Living in New Jersey.
Love sports, animals,
especially cats."
- What a dick.
- They all love cats. Bastards!
Look, here are the clubs
where we can find Nina.
[gentle bright music]
- [croupier] Ladies and
gentlemen, no more bets.
[roulette ball whirring]
♪ When we're walking
hand in hand ♪
♪ She wears a dress
- Remember, we're
here on business.
♪ Smoking cigarettes
♪ She can't chain
that sexy thing ♪
- I'll be right back.
♪ She's the queen of
local discotheque ♪
♪ My baby likes to cha cha cha
- What's your desire?
♪ My baby's sweeter
than a coke ♪
♪ And sexier than mango
- Look, Sana. Look at this guy.
[nose blowing]
Oh.
I have to see if he's for real.
- And what about these two?
- Keep them busy.
[determined rock music]
- It's okay.
She will be just one second.
[hand slaps]
- Do you have a light, handsome?
- Are you talkin' to me?
- I don't see no one else
handsome around, do you?
- Yeah.
- How about that light?
[Anthony chuckles]
You must be an American?
- Yeah, how could you tell?
- Look at the way
you're dressed.
- All right.
- Oh, and what brings you
here, business or pleasure?
- No official business.
- How about a little pleasure?
[woman chuckles]
[upbeat rock music]
[all laughing]
So what is your name?
- Anthony Santini, USA.
How you doin'? [chuckles]
What do your friends call you?
- My friends call me Butterfly.
- [chuckling] Butterfly.
Nice name, very traditional.
- So what do you do back home,
Mr. Anthony Santini, USA?
- Work like a lotta numbers,
you know, financial.
- Accounting?
- Accounting, yes.
- Aah-ha.
Yeah.
- Excuse me.
- And how do you
like Russian women?
- I, I don't know, I really
haven't met them yet.
- Now, well, there is the
first time for everything.
[woman speaking Russian]
- Okay, da.
[Woman speaking in Russian]
- Da!
[woman chuckles]
I had a wonderful
time with you tonight,
but I have to get going.
- You think I could,
uh, see you again?
- Uh.
Of course.
[soft lounge music]
- Butterfly.
- What is this?
- Some girl just gave
me her phone number.
- There you go.
- Her friends call her
Butterfly. [chuckles]
- Listen, you have
to be careful,
you're an American, you got
one of those bull's eyes
on your head.
Now, those girls,
they all bastards.
- I don't know, man,
she seemed different.
- Listen to me, if I'm
gonna let you be taken in
by the girl, it's my ass.
Understand?
- Understood.
[gentle bright music]
[phone ringing]
- [Vito] Tony, it's me.
- Call me on the other phone.
[phone ringing]
- It's me, Vito.
- I told you, the other phone,
asshole, not this phone.
- Wait, wait, wait,
wait, it's Vito.
[phone ringing]
[gentle curious music]
Mr. Godfather.
- I can't talk now,
I'm busy.
- Don't hang up.
[phone ringing]
- I told you-
- Hey, Uncle Tony,
it's your nephew, Anthony.
- Anthony?
How the fuck are you doin'?
- Good. Good.
- [chuckles] Jesus,
you sound great.
I know you're gonna
find that broad.
I can just feel it, kid.
Are they giving you hard time?
- Not bad, not bad at all.
- Anthony, look, look.
Just keep digging
and you'll find her.
And one more thing, kid.
Take ya time.
- All right, Uncle Tony.
I'll talk to you later.
Buh-bye.
[gentle music]
- We lay 50 to 1, he
don't find the broad.
And 100 to 1, if he finds the
broad, he don't get the money.
- Oh yeah? What happens
if he makes at home?
- Even money.
[soft curious music]
- Where you goin'?
- I gotta go see my father.
I'll be back
tonight. Don't leave.
- What the hell am
I supposed to do?
- I don't know. Sit, you
know, drink, take a bath.
Read about my country.
Relax, I'll be back tonight.
[Anthony sighs]
[phone buttons beep]
- Hello?
- Yeah, uh, hi, hi.
I'm looking for a, a Butterfly?
[upbeat music]
[singing in Russian]
- It's this table.
So where in USA do you
live, Anthony Santini?
- New Jersey.
- Oh?
You have girlfriend?
- No, no, no.
I haven't found
the right one yet.
- What are you looking for?
- I figured I'd just
know when I found it.
- How you say? Cheers?
- No, I say salute.
No, not like this.
Like this.
- Oh! Cheers.
- Whatever.
[upbeat rock music]
- Come on, we dance.
- No, no, no.
- Oh yeah, you dance.
- All right, I haven't
done this in a while.
[singing in Russian]
[people chattering]
[Butterfly chuckles]
- This is it.
[Anthony chuckles]
[gentle music]
So I had a [giggles] really
great time with you tonight.
- So did I. So did I.
- Okay.
Um, would you want
to go upstairs?
- Ooh, I would, uh...
I would like to, but I
got this thing tomorrow,
and, like, a business thing.
- Oh, [speaking in Russian].
- I mean, don't get me wrong,
I would love to go
upstairs, but. [chuckles]
- Yeah.
- I, uh,
gotta [giggles] go.
- Okay.
Can I give you this?
- What is it?
- It's a reminder, so
when you look at this,
you think of me.
- Wow! That is beautiful.
Thank you.
Thank you very much, I
mean, wow. [chuckles]
That was really nice of you.
- Huh, thank you.
- I'll, uh, I'll
talk to you, soon?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- I'll see ya later.
- Okay.
Bye!
- Buh-bye.
- Hey, what's up, bro?
You learning about my country?
- It's beautiful.
- Let's see my Russia.
[upbeat techno music]
Alcohol!
[man cackling]
Here we go, to Bill
Gates and Coca-Cola.
Keep your eyes open, I'm
gonna go look for Nina.
♪ Nina, Nina, Nina
Nina, Nina, Nina ♪
♪ Look for Nina, look for Nina
♪ Look for Nina, Nina,
Nina, Nina, Nina ♪
♪ Nina, Nina
♪ Look for Nina, look for Nina
♪ Look, look, look,
look, look for Nina ♪
♪ Look for Nina, look for Nina
♪ Nina, Nina, Nina, Nina
♪ Look for Nina, look for Nina
♪ Look for Nina, look for
Nina, Nina, Nina, Nina ♪
- I can't find Nina.
- What?
- I said, I can't find Nina.
- Forget about Nina,
let's go party.
- And close.
Open.
And close.
Breath.
[people snoring]
And close.
Open.
- Where we goin'?
- We're going to get some guns.
- Good idea.
[Ivan speaking Russian]
- [Anthony] Where
do we get them?
- From the number one military
collector in all Russia.
[doves cooing]
[Ivan yelling in Russian]
I don't think he's here.
[Ivan yelling in Russian]
[Exalted music]
[guns firing]
- I through you said
you knew this guy?
- I do.
He's my uncle.
[uncle speaking in
foreign language]
- Well what the
fuck is he saying?
- He thinks the
Nazi's are coming!
[guns firing]
[Ivan yelling in Russian]
- Ivan!
- It's okay.
[both speaking in Russian]
- Anthony Santini,
USA, American.
- A spy!
- Oh!
- He's a spy!
I know he is a spy!
[Ivan speaking Russian]
He's okay.
- Are you sure?
[both speaking Russian]
[all chuckle]
- Why does anyone
come to Uncle Peter?
Guns, huh? [laughs]
You came to the right place.
Just a moment.
Right here.
This is best, my pride and joy.
- Wow!
[Ivan speaking Russian]
- This is top of the line.
Only for [indistinct] the best!
And never been used!
Never been!
[Anthony chuckles]
- Okay, okay, we'll take them.
- Hey, Tommy, you
hear from Anthony?
- Nah, but I'm sure
he's doing fine.
- Are you sure?
I hear that place is like
the fuckin' wild, wild west.
Instead of whiskey,
they drink vodka,
and everybody's packin'.
- Yeah, I heard
he's runnin' around
with a couple of [indistinct].
- Well, that guy will be fine,
I taught him
everything he knows.
- Is that where
you carry your gun?
- Yeah. Where do
you carry yours?
- Oh, right here.
- Come on, my man,
you in Russia,
nobody carries guns in the back.
You should carry it
where you can reach it.
- Hey, I grew up in
the Italian Mafia,
everybody I know carries
their gun back here.
- All right, my
man, it's your call,
but don't forget, you in Russia,
and you carry Russian gun.
- Don't tell me where
to carry my gun.
[gun fires]
[Anthony screaming]
- What's up, [speaking Russian].
I told you to be careful
with those Russian guns.
- Hey, this place don't
look too clean, man.
- Don't worry, this is
number one undercover clinic
in Moscow, all the
gangsters come here.
- This doctor any good?
- Are you kidding me?
Any good? Very good.
He's number one
doctor in all Russia.
["Hit the Road Jack']
[dogs barking]
- Who's that? The janitor?
- No, he's the doctor.
- What? Whoa, no!
- Anthony, you don't worry,
he's number one
doctor in all Russia.
- [sniffs] Why does he
smell like number two?
- Because he was also number
one veterinarian in all Russia.
- Veterinarian?
- Uh-huh.
Worms. No problem.
- Worms? I don't have worms.
- Wrong chart.
You got shot in your ass.
No problem.
I am number one
doctor in all Russia.
[doctor strains]
I want you to lie
perfectly still,
we don't want to cut off
anything you might need.
- Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait!
Aren't you gonna use
like a local anesthesia?
- Ah!
- What's this?
- Anestasia, from
the local store.
- It's vodka!
- Hmm, duh!
- What the hell am I
supposed to do with that?
- You don't do
nothing, it's for me.
[upbeat playful music]
- It's fine, fine.
- [belches] Aah!
Now you.
Now say, aah!
[all screaming]
- [chuckling] Hey, hey,
I gotta tell Uncle Tony
about that guy, he's
absolutely good.
Hey listen, hey,
hey, I'm a big boy,
I can walk myself, man.
Hey, hey, hey, man.
[low piano tone]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[people chattering in Russian]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[upbeat rap music]
[rapping in Russian]
[tires screech]
- It's the son of
number one man.
He's back.
Let's get him.
[Ivan screaming in Russian]
Anthony, be still.
[tires screeching]
[police siren wailing]
[Ivan and driver
speaking Russian]
[suspenseful music]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[car horns honking]
[tires screeching]
[officer speaking Russian]
- Hey, man, you guys
through chasin' us?
- Shut up!
[car horn honking]
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
[man groans]
[Ivan laughing]
[man speaking Russian]
[suspenseful music continues]
[police sirens wailing]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[police officer
speaking Russian]
[tires screeching]
[driver speaking Russian]
- Motherfucker,
fuck your mother.
[warning light dinging]
[tires screeching]
[cars crashing]
[train horn honking]
[tires screeching]
[officer grunts]
[officer yelling]
[explosion thunders]
[tires screeching]
- Good job.
- I'm in, I'm in.
- You in our out?
- I'm out.
- All right, Ernie's out.
You're out.
- Two 4s.
- Two 4s showin' on the table.
Take that, you
no-good greaseball
motherfucker! [giggles]
- [Mobster] Yeah, I
give up, scumbags.
- I wish Anthony was here.
- Why?
- Why, why, why?
Because with him here,
I can win a few hands.
- It's a good point, huh?
- Gucci.
[gentle bright music]
Armani. Versace.
Santini.
Santini.
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[doorman speaking Russian]
- Good for you.
[determined music]
[people chattering]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
I don't know how
many more places
in Moscow we can
look for this Nina.
- I wanna go visit Butterfly.
- What?
- I wanna go see Butterfly.
- Forget is, stupid
ass American.
Do you really think
in Russian girl
can fall in love with you?
- Why not?
- Because she falls the
love with your money.
- No, no, no, no, she's not
like that, she's different.
- How do you know?
- Because I know, I
never felt like this
about anybody before.
- I forbid you, you
cannot take care
of yourself alone in Moscow.
- Oh yeah?
I went to see her, the night
you went to the office,
I went to see her.
- You fucking kidding me?
That's it, no more.
- You can't tell me what to do.
- Look at this crazy bastard.
He falls in love
with the hooker,
and he blames it out on me.
- Ivan, take that back!
- Look, I'm responsible for you!
- You don't think I can
take care of myself?
[bottle shatters]
[people screaming]
[suspenseful music]
[moves to upbeat comical music]
[people screaming]
[fist thuds]
[glass shattering]
[people screaming]
[woman screaming]
- Anthony! Anthony!
[phone ringing]
[man speaking Russian]
[Ivan farts]
- Pavel, I lost
the son of a bitch.
- You what?
- I told him not to
leave, but he took off,
I can not find him.
- Don't worry.
He's going to be head
of the Santini family,
he can take care of himself.
- Eh.
Check this out, she's
fallen for some whore.
Mission kaput.
- [Pavel] Wonderful!
- What?
- I, I mean, keep
looking, you'll find him.
[Pavel laughs]
- [Ivan] Welcome home.
- Now you look European.
[soft music]
♪ I'm looking in your eyes
♪ I see myself in you
♪ No, I never felt
like this before ♪
♪ I listen to my heart
♪ I listen to my soul
♪ There is nothing in
this world like you ♪
♪ Stay here, in my heart
♪ Stay here, in my heart
♪ If you stay here with me
♪ What a life that would be
- [Anthony] What's in there?
- The devil.
[Butterfly speaking Russian]
[soft music continues]
♪ And every time we kiss
♪ I take it to the heart
- Nostrovia. [chuckles]
- Oh, ah, nostrovia.
- Whoo!
♪ You came to save me
- Oh. [Anthony thuds]
♪ I couldn't leave without you
- Time to go. [hands slap]
Oh, wait. One foot.
One foot. Okay.
Stay there.
- Do I look pretty?
- You look so pretty.
[both chuckle]
- Chokin', chokin', chokin'.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Gentle.
Gentle.
[both giggling]
Wait, don't sit.
- I can't believe
this is happening.
- What?
- This whole thing.
I mean, comin' to Moscow, and...
I never felt like this
about anybody in my life.
When I'm not with you, I
think about you all the time.
I am so, so, [chuckles]
in love with you.
- Aah.
I'll be right back.
♪ I'm looking in your eyes
- I went to slip into
something more...
Comfortable.
♪ No, I never felt
like this before ♪
♪ I listen to my heart
♪ I listen to my soul
♪ There is nothing in
this world like you ♪
[soft music continues]
[men speaking Russian]
[ominous music]
- [Tony] She a devious bitch.
- [Jackie] You can't trust her.
- [Both] Don't trust broads.
- She's just a con
artist with tits.
[anxious music]
- Oh my God.
- Hi, honey.
Can I get so something?
- Yeah, how about $50,000?
- Anthony?
Where did you get that
gun, Peter the Great?
- No, Uncle Pete.
You know, I can't
believe you lied to me!
- What are you talking about?
- This is what I'm
talking about, Nina!
The business I'm on,
I was send here to find
the mail order bride
who robbed her husband!
- Okay. Okay, let me explain.
- Explain what?
That you thought
I was some patsy
you could take
for some fat cash?
- Okay, at first, I admit,
at first, that was my plan.
But then, I got
to know you, okay?
And you were so different
from anyone else.
I never met anybody like you.
And you're so
innocent, and genuine,
and sincere, and so
funny. [chuckles]
You didn't care about the
clothes I was wearing,
or the shoes, or the watch.
You fell in love with me.
And I fell in love with you.
- Bullshit!
- You don't believe?
- No, I don't believe.
I want the money you stole.
- I don't have it.
- What do you mean
you don't have it?
- I mean, I don't
have it. I spent it.
- Don't fuck with me, Nina.
I've been here for two weeks,
if you spent 50 grand, you'd
be living in a kremlin.
- Come here.
I show you what I spent it on.
[solemn music]
This is Natasha.
My sister.
Our parents died 10 years ago.
So I basically raised
her since she was a baby.
And she needed a heart operation
or she was going to die.
[Nina sighs]
And I knew I couldn't
make the money here,
and couldn't steal
it from here either,
so I went to the US
and do what I had to do
to get the money.
She means everything
in the world to me.
[girls speaking Russian]
- I really do love you.
[both chuckle]
- My whole life, I've
been screwing up.
- [chuckles] I understand.
- And the one time I get a
chance to redeem myself...
I fell in love.
- Is that so bad?
- Everybody back home
is gonna think I'm
such a loser if I don't
come home with that money.
- Who cares about them?
What if I told you I know
where to make $50,000
and even more?
- I thought you said you
couldn't steal from here?
- I couldn't steal
from here, but, um,
that doesn't mean you couldn't.
- Go ahead.
- My friend, Ingrid, is a
teller at the Bank of Moscow,
and she said every month
an American comes in
to pick up a cash payment.
Since Russian companies
can't wire money under
their own names
directly to the US,
they hire these Americans
to set up US
corporations for them.
Once a month, one of
these Americans comes here
to pick up their
salaries in cash.
It's always a different time.
The guy presenting letter,
which I have a copy of,
and the bank director
is instructed
to hand over the briefcase.
Take one briefcase, walk
out, be calm and be pleasant.
He's due at two o'clock, you
have to be in and out by 1:55.
[suspenseful music]
[mysterious music]
Okay, you got it.
- It's 2 Million. Look.
- What are you
doing? That's crazy!
Okay, you have to
give this to me.
- What?
- Give it to me.
- Oh, I don't know, I
don't know, I don't know.
- They're looking for an
American with a briefcase, okay?
You do not blend in here, I do.
[alarm bell ringing]
Okay, we do not have time to
argue, just give it to me.
- Are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.
You meet me later.
- Where do you want
me to meet you?
- Ninth column at
the Bolshoi Theatre.
At midnight!
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Speak to me.
It worked!
You have it?
Good.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Let them take care of him.
[curious music]
[singing in Russian]
[phone ringing]
- Okay, boss.
[playful music music]
♪ Hey
[playful anxious music]
- Hey!
- He's skiin'.
- Who?
- Anthony.
- [Whiner] Anthony don't ski.
- You go there, you ski.
- Why?
- It snows all the time,
winter, summer,
spring, fall, snow.
[Playful anxious music]
[singing in Russian]
[car engine roars]
[man with hoodie
speaking Russian]
[woman shouts in Russian]
[man speaking Russian]
[man shouting in Russian]
[playful curious music]
[romantic music]
[woman giggles]
[phone rings]
- Hello?
- Ivan, it's Anthony!
- Oh my God, Anthony.
I've been worried about you.
Listen, I'm sorry
about what I said.
- Listen, there's no time,
I'm in so much trouble.
- What happened?
- [Anthony] I pulled
off a scam with Nina.
- Nina?
You, you found Nina?
- Yeah, but Nina wasn't Nina,
Nina was butterfly, and she
spent the money on a heart,
and she made me rob a bank,
and now I'm being chased
all over Moscow by the KGB!
- Pavel, he will kill you.
Tell me where you are and
I'm gonna come and get you.
- I don't know where I am!
Look, I'm supposed to
meet her at midnight!
- Midnight. Where?
- At the ninth column
of the Bolshoi Theater!
- Oh, no the nine column.
I have to get you out
of here right away.
[police siren wailing]
Anthony?
Anthony?
[ominous orchestral music]
- 1, 2, 3, ,4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
1, 2, 3, ,4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
Oh my God!
[dramatic music]
There's only eight!
Where the hell is
the ninth column?
[bell chimes]
Fuck!
[tires screech]
Ivan, I can't find
the ninth column,
where the hell is
the ninth column?
- There is no nine column!
- What?
- It is an old Russian joke,
to tell people to meet us here,
they go nuts looking for it!
It makes them look stupid!
[hand slaps]
Come on!
- I can't believe
she lied to me.
- I told you not to trust her.
Come on, we have no time, we
have to get to the airport!
[woman speaking Russian]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[woman speaking Russian]
- Next flight out of
Moscow, heading for Iraq,
in 10 minutes!
- I can't go to Iraq,
I'm an American,
they'll fucking kill me!
What else does she have?
[woman speaking Russian]
[Ivan speaking Russian]
[woman speaking Russian]
- The only flight
that is available
in a military flight to Serbia.
- I can't get on
a military plane!
I am so dead!
I'm gonna end up in Siberia.
I know I shouldn't have-
- Calm down, my man, I've,
I think I have a plan.
[patriotic music]
- Ai!
- Anthony.
You forgot something.
[Anthony speaking
in foreign language]
- Forget about it.
[soldier shouting in Russian]
- Ushen!
- Yeah!
- Kazlov!
- Yeah!
- Marezov!
- Yeah!
- Troshin!
- Yeah!
- Chimardana!
- Yeah!
- Churika!
- Yeah!
- Nadikav!
Nadikav!
- Yeah!
[patriotic music continues]
[soldier speaking Russian]
[exalted music]
[singing in Russian]
[plane whooshing]
[explosions thundering]
[guns firing]
[guns firing]
[explosions thundering]
[guns firing]
[grenade thundering]
[guns firing]
[grenade thundering]
[guns firing]
[grenade thundering]
- Hey, look, it wasn't my
fault, nobody's perfect.
What noise?
Oh no, I'm outside, I
bought a cell phone, yeah.
What?
Oh no, no that cleared up.
The doctor gave
me some ointment,
he said it's gonna be fine.
Yeah. [inhales]
Listen, I gotta take
this, all right?
I'll talk to you tonight.
Yeah.
Talk to me.
- Hey, Tommy, it's Anthony.
- Anthony, are you all right?
- Nah, you're not gonna
believe what happened to me.
- God, I've been worried sick
about you, where you been?
- I had to escape from
Russia on a military flight,
now I'm stuck in a
New Jersey turnpike,
dressed like a bum.
- Did you find the girl?
- Yeah, I found
her, and I lost her.
And I lost $2 million.
- She screwed you, man. Shit!
What are you gonna
tell your uncle?
- I guess the truth.
- [Tommy] Yeah, well you
know what he's gonna say.
- I know what he's gonna say.
- [Both] Don't trust broads.
- I'm on Exit 13 and a turnpike.
Bye.
- [inhales] Whiner, you still
taking action on Anthony?
Yeah, listen, gimme
40 times he makes it.
Yeah.
- I'll be right out.
- Hey, Anthony,
when'd you get back?
- What's up, Tootie?
- Wow, nice coat.
Where'd you get the coat?
- You want it?
- Yeah.
- I get 10%.
- Aah, thanks, kid.
Hey, Big Mike,
what are you doin'?
You wanna buy a suit?
- What do you got?
This ain't gonna fit me.
- Wanna buy a coat?
- Hey, that ain't for you.
- Loose some
weight, ya fat fuck.
- This is great news.
Yeah. Thank you. [chuckles]
- What? What's so good?
What?
- Get your desk off my feet
and get outta my chair.
- Why?
- You heard me.
- [Whiner] Yeah, but
I didn't understand.
- [Anthony] Uncle Tony.
- Anthony! You made it.
[both chuckling]
You still, uh,
shopping at Tootsie's?
- No, no, I got this in Kosovo.
- Mm-hmm.
- I got this in Serbia.
- Mm-hmm.
- This little number
I got in Croatia.
And, um, I didn't get the money.
- Excuse me?
- I blew I, okay, Uncle Tony.
I didn't get the
money. I'm sorry.
But, you gotta
believe me, this time,
- Anthony.
- it wasn't my fault.
- Anthony, you've been
sayin' that ever since you
nearly put the whole
family in the clink.
What wasn't your fault?
That you didn't find the dough?
That those bohos
from Brighton Beach
pulled a fast one and
used you to make a bundle?
- Used me?
- The broad set you
up, just like they-
- No, no, no, Uncle
Tony, she couldn't,
I mean, she was different,
she was in love with me-
- She what?
- Jackie!
- She told you she loved
you and you believe it.
You bought that bullshit
like everybody else.
- Wait a minute, Jackie.
- No, wait a minute.
You send a boy to
do a man's job.
- Now watch your tongue, Jackie.
That's my nephew.
- [chuckles] Yeah, and
he's just like his old man.
- You're way outta line now.
His father is my brother.
- With all due
respect, he was a bozo,
just like his son
is a fucking bozo
who couldn't even
find the broad.
- With all due respect, Whiner!
- Yeah.
- Kick his fuckin' ass.
- Me? Why me?
- I don't wanna dirty my hands.
- Ah, Jesus, Tony,
it's been a long time!
- It's like riding
a fucking bicycle!
Kick his fuckin' ass!
- You wanna piece of me?
- I'm gonna put a hurtin'
on you like you've
never felt in your life.
- Go get him.
- Bring it on [indistinct].
- Come on, make my day.
Come on! Come on!
- Come on, you
little guinea shit.
- Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on!
- Get 'em Whiner, don't
dance, don't dance, hit 'em.
[Whiner and Jackie arguing]
[comical music]
[Whiner screaming]
- Come on! come on!
I'll shove this down your.
[Whiner screaming]
- Whoa.
- Go! Go!
- Oh, you all right?
What's goin' on?
- You wanna back me up?
- Yeah, absolutely,
where we going? Come on!
- To Brighton Beach to
to kick some Russian ass.
[Tommy stammering]
[Tommy panting]
[tires screeching]
- Hey, Buckle Eye, you
got a cigarette, huh?
- Smoking causes birth defects.
- [chuckles] I'm
not pregnant, am I?
- Ya had enough?
- No, I haven't had enough!
I want my money!
And I want my fuckin' manhood!
And I want that broad!
- Well, you get your money back.
And, uh, you can have
your fuckin' manhood.
Two outta three ain't bad.
[gentle bright music]
- Hey, look who it
is. Anthony Santini.
How ya doin'?
- You set me up!
- Me?
No, no, no, no, no.
It was girl.
Look, here is your
money, all of it.
1 million rubles.
I mean, dollars.
- 1 million?
- Yeah.
And half of it, yours.
- Mine?
- Yeah, yours
No!
Before I give it to you,
you must ask
permission from Nina.
- Well how the hell
am I gonna do that?
- Ask her.
[drumroll]
[Nina speaking Russian]
- Hey!
[upbeat music]
Hey!
Hey!
- Just follow me.
- I did that once, and
look where it got me!
- Ah!
- Could you just stop
and talk to me?
Hey, just stop!
- I have a reason, trust me.
- Trust you?
Gimme one good reason
why I shouldn't kill you?
- Because. Because I love you.
- Are you kidding me?
You don't know the
first thing about love.
- Yeah, then why did I
come back here for you?
- I don't know, why did
you come back for me?
- Because I didn't want
to be away from you!
- Bullshit!
- I can't explain
now. Get in the car!
- Why should I get
in the car with you?
- Because I'm telling you to.
[police sirens wailing]
[upbeat music]
- You know, I really
though you were different,
I trusted you and you set me up!
- Sh, look.
[people screaming]
- [Agent] Hold it right
there, don't move!
- See?
I wasn't trying to set you up,
I was setting them up.
Because I love you.
[gentle music]
- You did this for me?
- For us.
And I got the money.
1 million American dollars.
[man speaking in Russian]
- What about ya sister?
- She came with me.
Number one doctor in
all of US fixed her up.
Silkwad!
Louie the Leprechaun!
Manny the Mute!
- Thank you.
- Yeah!
Hanny the Hitcher.
- You know, I can't
believe this shit.
- What?
- I can't believe
this kid pulled it off.
- Aah, come on.
Personally, I always believed
the kid can do it, always.
- You did?
- Yes, I did, I did, yes.
- Do you know how
much money he cost us?
- Who cares, what's
money. Money.
I gave 'em a boost, I send
'em on a long vacation
to a nice warm climate.
- Number one guy's very happy.
Profits are up 100% since I
started on earning things,
thanks to my liaison.
- I love this job. [chuckles]
- Yeah. [chuckles]
I think our families
are gonna be here
for a very long time.
[bright music]
- To my friend,
Anthony Santini, USA!
[people cheering]
[bright upbeat music]
- Hello, Anthony.
- Father Joel.
- Anthony, I hear you've
been using foul language
in the neighborhood.
- Oh, not me, father, I
don't use bad language.
It's, uh, probably Whiner.
- There!
- Frank, what do you want?
[player chuckling]
- Who is number one?
- You are! [hiccup's]
- I got a nice red one,
I got a coupla blues.
I just got them off
a truck from Barneys.
- Ha hey, what I tell ya?
Instant respect, baby, huh?
Look at this.
- You're so soft.
- How ya doin', guys, all right?
- Hey, everyone think
I'm a Mickey Mouse, huh?
- [chuckles] I like
this gangster shit.
- What I tell you?
What do you think?
[doctor squawking]
- What is he? Crazy!
He kills three of our guys.
Number one guy.
Sneaks him out of Russia.
And he is back.
- Let's get him.
[bright music continues]
[singing in Russian]
- You've gotta look
at the bright side.
- Why?
- We got rid of
the crazy bastard.
[both laughing]
- Oh God, yes!
- How many times do
I have to tell ya
to get out of my fucking chair!
[soft music]
♪ I'm looking in your eyes
♪ I see myself in you
♪ No, I never felt
like this before ♪
♪ I listen to my heart
♪ I listen to my soul
♪ There is nothing in
this world like you ♪
♪ Stay here, in my heart
♪ Stay here, in my heart
♪ If you stay here with me
♪ What a life that would be
♪ And every time we kiss
♪ I take it to the heart
♪ I swear we'll never be apart
♪ No
♪ You came to save me
♪ I couldn't leave without you
♪ If you stay here with me
♪ What a life that would be
♪ Stay here, in my heart
♪ Stay here, in my heart
♪ If you stay here with me
♪ What a life that would be
♪ I'll do whatever it takes
♪ To give this love
♪ Stay here, in my heart
♪ Stay here, in my heart
[both laughing]