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Madagascar (2005) - full transcript

At New York's Central Park Zoo, a lion, a zebra, a giraffe, and a hippo are best friends and stars of the show. But when one of the animals goes missing from their cage, the other three break free to look for him, only to find themselves reunited ... on a ship en route to Africa. When their vessel is hijacked, however, the friends, who have all been raised in captivity, learn first-hand what life can be like in the wild.


Surprise!
Alex. Do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming.
When a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone.
Come on, Marty. Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday.
Hey, man, thanks.
Hey, I got something stuck in my teeth.
It's driving me crazy. Can you help me out here? Please?
You came to the right place, my friend.
Dr. Marty, D.D.S., is in the house.
Please hop on top of my sterilized examination table, if you may.
- I don't see anything. - It's on the left.
Oh, sorry.
Okay, just don't talk with your mouth full.
Right here. What the heck is this doing in there?
Happy birthday!
Aw, hey, thanks, man.
You put it in behind the tooth. You all right.
These aren't even on the shelf yet. Here. Check it out. Check it out.
- Look at that. Ooh! Look at that. - Look at that. It's snowing.
Ten years old, huh? A decade.
Double digits. The big 1-0.
You don't like it?
- No, no, it's great. - You hate it.
I should've gotten you the Alex alarm clock. That's the big seller.
No, no, no. The present's great, really.
It's just that another year's come and gone
and I'm still doing the same old thing.
"Stand over here. Trot over there. Eat some grass. Walk back over here."
- I see your problem. - Maybe I should go to law school.
You just need to break out of that boring routine.
- How? - Throw out the old act.
Get out there. Who knows what you're gonna do.
Make it up as you go along.
Ad lib. Improvise. On the fly. Boom, boom, boom.
- Really? - You know, make it fresh.
Fresh, huh? Okay. I could do fresh.
Works for me.
Here come the people, Marty. I love the people.
It's fun people fun time!
Let's go, Gloria! Up and at 'em. We're open!
What day is it?
It's Friday. Field trip day.
Yes, it's field trip day. Let's get up and go...
...in ten more minutes.
Come on!
Melman, Melman, Melman! Melman, Melman, Melman!
Wake up! Rise and shine! It's another fabulous morning in the Big Apple.
Let's go.
- Not for me. I'm calling in sick. - What?
I found another brown spot on my shoulder. Right here. See?
Right there. You see?
Melman, you know it's all in your head. Hm?
Let's go! Come on!
Phil! Wake up, you filthy monkey.
Oh, I'm going to be fresh.
Straight out the ground. Tasty fresh! Freshalicious.
Ziploc fresh.
Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages,
the Central Park Zoo proudly presents:
Show them the cat. Who's the cat?
The king of New York City.
Alex the lion.
It's showtime.
Roar!
Gather around, people. Big show about to start.
Check out the zebra taking care of biz. That's right.
Just smile and wave, boys.
Smile and wave.
Kowalski, progress report.
We're only 500 feet from the main sewer line.
- And the bad news? - We've broken our last shovel.
Right.
Rico, you're on litter patrol. We need shovels.
And find more Popsicle sticks. We don't want to risk another cave-in.
And me, skipper?
I want you to look cute and cuddly, private.
Today we're going to blow this dump.
Come here. Come here. Come on, penguin.
Yeah! You don't see that on Animal Planet.
Ha-ha.
Well, show's over, folks. Thanks for coming.
I hope you thought it was fresh.
I'll be here all week.
In fact, I'll be here for my whole life.
Three hundred and sixty-five days a year,
including Christmas, Hanukkah, Halloween, Kwanzaa.
Please don't forget to never spay or neuter your pets.
And tip your cabbie, because he's broke.
You, quadruped. Sprechen sie Englisch?
I sprechen.
- What continent is this? - Manhattan.
Hoover Dam! We're still in New York.
Abort. Dive! Dive! Dive.
Hey. You in the tux. Wait a minute.
What are you guys doing?
We're digging to Antarctica.
Ant-who-tica?
Can you keep a secret, my monochromatic friend?
Do you ever see any penguins running free around New York City?
Of course not. We don't belong here. It's just not natural.
This is all some kind of whacked-out conspiracy.
We're going to the wide-open spaces of Antarctica.
To the wild.
The wild? You could actually go there?
That sounds great.
Hey, hold up. Where is this place? Tell me where it is.
You didn't see anything.
Right?
Yes, sir.
I'm sorry. No, sir.
For his final appearance of the day,
the king of New York City.
Alex the lion.
Roar!
Thank you. Thank you very much.
You guys are great. You're a great crowd. Give yourselves a hand.
Thank you. Oh. Thank you.
Oh! Well. Thank you.
Oh, that's too kind. Too kind.
Underpants!
Everybody get home safe. Hey! Check out my Web site.
Twenty-four hour Alex Cam. Watch me sleep.
This is the life.
That's the spot.
Oh! I'm in heaven.
- Ooh, it's Marty's birthday. - Just rip it open.
- What is it? - Come on. Open it up. What you got?
A thermometer.
Thanks. I love it, Melman. I love it.
Yeah, I wanted to give you something personal.
You know, that was my first rectal thermometer.
- Mother... - I'll miss that bad boy.
Get the cake. Melman, come on.
Happy birthday to you
You live in a zoo
You look like a monkey
And you smell like one too
I say.
Aw, well, now, you guys are just embarrassing me.
And yourselves.
What are you talking about? We worked on that all week.
Let's go. Let's make a wish, babycakes.
- Come on. What'd you wish for? - Nope. Can't tell you that.
Come on. Tell.
No siree. I'm telling you, it's bad luck.
You want some bad luck, I'll blab it out.
But if you want to be safe, I'll keep my mouth shut.
Would you just tell us? I mean, really. What could happen?
Okay.
I wished I could go to the wild!
The wild?!
I told you it was bad luck.
The wild? Are you nuts?
That is the worst idea I've ever heard.
It's unsanitary.
The penguins are going. So why can't I?
The penguins are psychotic.
Come on. Just imagine going back to nature.
Back to your roots. Clean air, wide-open spaces!
Well, I hear they have wide-open spaces in Connecticut.
Connecticut?
Yeah. What you gotta do is you go over to Grand Central.
And then you gotta take the Metro-North train... north?
So one could take the train? Just hypothetically.
Marty come on. What would Connecticut have to offer us?
- Lyme disease. - Thank you, Melman.
No, no really, really. I just want...
There's certainly none of this in the wild.
This is a highly refined type of food thing
that you do not find in the wild.
You ever thought there might be more to life than steak, Alex?
He didn't mean that, baby. No, no, no.
Doesn't it bother you guys that you don't know anything
about life outside this zoo?
- Nuh-uh. Nope. - Mm-mm.
Well, I mean, come on. That's just one subject.
You got a little schmutz right there on your...
Thanks, guys. Thanks for the party. It was great.
Really.
What's eating him?
Maybe you should talk to him Alex.
You know, go over there and give him a little pep talk.
Hey, I already gave him a snow globe. I can't top that.
- Alex. - I can see where this is going.
It is getting late. I guess I'm going to...
Come on. He's your best friend.
All right, all right. Okay.
- Night, Marty. - Night, Glo.
What a day.
I mean, just really...
Really I mean I tell you,
it just doesn't get any better than this, you know?
Ooh! It just did. Even the star's out.
Not going to find a star like that in the wild.
Helicopter.
Marty. Buddy. Listen.
Everybody has days
when they think the grass might be greener somewhere else.
Alex.
Look at me.
I'm ten years old. My life is half over.
And I don't even know if I'm black with white stripes...
...or white with black stripes.
Marty.
I'm thinking of a song.
Alex. Please. Not now.
Oh, yes. It's a wonderful song. I think you're familiar with it.
Oh, no. Oh, no, you don't. No, no, no.
I'm not listening.
Start spreadin' the news
I don't know you.
I'm leaving today
- We are a great big part of it - He's funny. Who is that?
Come on. You know you know the words.
Two little words.
New York.
New York
Shut up, shut up, shut up! Hey, I'm sleeping here!
We're not all nocturnal, you know!
I'll knock your "turnal" right off, pal.
Yeah, you and what army, stripes?
You mess with him, you mess with me, Howard.
- You're a bigmouth lion. - See? Mr. Grumpy Stripes.
We make a great team, the two of us.
We sure do. No doubt about it.
So, what are you going to do?
Just go running off to the wild by yourself?
- No. - Good.
You and me. Let's go.
- What? - The wild.
Come on. You and me together.
It's a straight shot down Fifth Avenue to Grand Central.
We'll grab a train, we'll head north.
We can be back by morning. No one will ever know.
You're joking. Right?
Yeah. I'm joking. Of course I'm joking. Give me a break.
Like we're going to get a train.
Don't do that. You really had me worried there.
Oh, well. I guess I'll hit the sack.
Yeah, me too. I'll need to rest my voice for tomorrow.
It's Seniors' Day, you know. Have to roar extra loud.
Give them a little jolt. You know what I'm talking about?
Good night, Ally Al.
They forgot to turn off the ambience again.
Don't worry. It's cool.
You know, I got it.
Much better.
Come on, now, baby.
My little filet.
My little filet mignon with a little fat around the edges.
I like that. I like a little fat on my steak.
My sweet, juicy steak. You are a rare delicacy.
Alex. Alex. Alex!
What? What?
You suck your thumb?
What is it, Melman?
OK, OK.
You know how I have that bladder infection
and I have to get up every two hours?
I got up to pee and I looked over at Marty's pen,
which, you know, I usually don't do.
I don't know why, but I did. And listen...
What? What's going on?
It's Marty. He's gone.
Gone! What do you mean, "gone"?
How long has he been working on this?
Marty!
Marty!
He wouldn't fit down there.
Marty? Marty! Marty!
This doesn't make any sense. Where would he go?
- Connecticut! - He wouldn't.
Oh, no! What are we going to do?
We gotta... we gotta...
I mean, we got to call somebody!
Hello? Get me Missing Animals. And hurry.
We've got a lost zebra probably on the way to Connecticut by now,
and we're gonna need...
- Hello? Hello? - Wait a second.
- We can't call the people. - What the...?
They'll be really mad.
It'll get Marty transferred for good.
You don't bite the hand that feeds you.
Mm-hm, I know that's right.
- We got to go after him. - Go after him?
He's not thinking straight.
We gotta stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life.
He's probably out there lost and cold, confused.
Poor little guy.
Melman Come on.
You know, maybe one of us should wait here in case he comes back.
Oh no. Not now. This is an intervention Melman.
We all got to go.
What's the fastest way to Grand Central?
- You should take Lexington. - Melman!
- Okay. "We." We should take Lexington. - What about Park?
No, Park goes two ways. You can't time the lights.
I heard Tom Wolfe is speaking at Lincoln Center.
Well, of course we're going to throw poo at him.
I knew we should've taken Park.
Are you sure this is the fastest way to Grand Central Station?
I don't know! That's what Melman said.
Hey. Hey, you, guys.
That room has some nifty little sinks you can wash up in, and look!
Free mints!
This isn't a field trip Melman.
This is an urgent mission to save Marty from throwing his life away.
Now, where's the train?
Here it comes.
What did Marty say to you? I asked you to talk to him.
I did! I did! I don't understand. He said, "Let's go."
And I said, "What? Are you crazy?" He says, "I'm ten years old."
And he has black-and-white stripes, and so then we sang and...
What you got to do is go straight back down West 42nd.
It's on your left after Vanderbilt.
OK.
If you hit the Chrysler Building, you've gone too far.
Thanks a lot, officer.
Hey! Wait for the light.
Freak.
- Did you say "zebra"? - That's right. A zebra.
Right in front of me.
- Can I shoot it? - Negative.
Then I'm going to need some backup.
- Aw! Knicks lost again. - What are you going to do.
Did that say "Grand Central Station" or "my aunt's constipation"?
This is it.
Grand Central Station.
It's grand and it's central.
Move aside. We have an emergency here.
This is an emergency situation.
Hey, hey. Just chill out. It's not that big of an emergency.
Upstairs, downstairs.
How do you like that?
Lady! What is wrong with you?
Ow! Get a grip on yourselves, people.
You're a bad kitty.
Dagnabbit! I missed the express.
Looks like I'll have to take the Stamford local.
I've got him! I've got him!
He's got him!
He's got him! He's got him! He's got...
I got something for you!
I'm okay. I'm okay.
Whoa! What are you guys doing here?
- I am so glad we found you. - We were so worried about you.
Don't worry, I'm fine, I'm fine. Look at me. I'm fine.
You're fine? Oh, he's fine. Oh, great.
You hear that? Marty's fine. That's good to know.
Because I was just wondering...
How could you do this to us Marty? I thought we were your friends!
What's the big deal? I was coming back in the morning.
Don't you ever do this again. Do you hear me?
- Do you hear him? - Guys, we're running out of time.
Oh, Melman, you broke their clock?
...do this again! Don't you ever, ever do this again!
Come here.
We've been ratted out, boys.
Hold your fire!
Cute and cuddly, boys. Cute and cuddly.
If you have any poo, fling it now.
It's the Man.
Good evening, officers.
No. No. No. You don't talk now. Okay?
You're not so good with the "putting words together
and their coming out good" thing. You keep it "shh."
Hey! How you doing? Yeah. You know what? Everything's cool.
We just had a little situation here. Little internal situation.
Actually my friend just went a little crazy.
Happens to everybody.
The city gets to us all. Just went a little cuckoo in the head.
Hey! Don't be calling me cuckoo in the head.
Just shush! I will handle this.
Oh! I got him!
Go, go, go! Right here, please.
Would you give a guy a break?
We're just gonna take my little friend here home and...
forget this ever happened. All right?
No harm, no foul, right?
Oh. No, no, no.
Hey, it's cool. It's me, Alex the lion. From the zoo.
What's the matter with them?
I feel really, really weird.
I love you guys.
I love you so much.
Last night's dramatic incident in Grand Central
is an example of what animal rights whackos have been shouting for years:
Animals clearly don't belong in captivity.
Now they are to be sent back to their natural habitat,
where they will live their lives in the freedom they so clearly desire.
- Hey. Little help? - He's awake! He's awake!
Do something!
Oh, man.
Oh, my head.
What the...?
Wait. Where? What?
I'm in a box! Oh, no. No, no! Not the box.
Oh, no, they can't transfer me. Not me!
Oh, I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
Darkness creeping in.
I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
Walls closing in around me.
So alone. So alone.
- Alex! Alex, are you there? - Marty?
- Yeah! Talk to me, buddy. - Oh, Marty! You're here!
- What's going on? Are you okay? - This doesn't look good Marty.
- Alex, Marty, is that you? - Gloria!
- You're here too! - I am loving the sound of your voice.
- What is going on? - We're all in crates.
Oh, no!
- Sleeping just knocks me out. - Melman!
Is that Melman?
- Are you okay? - Yeah. No, I'm fine.
I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI.
- Melman you're not getting an MRI. - CAT scan?
No! No CAT scan. It's a transfer. It's a zoo transfer.
Zoo transfer?! Oh, no. No, no, I can't be transferred.
I have an appointment with Dr. Goldberg at 5:00.
There are prescriptions that have to be filled.
No other zoo could afford my medical care.
And I am not going HMO.
Take it easy, Melman. It's going to be okay.
- We are going to be okizay. - No, we're not going to be okizay.
Now, because of you, we're ruined!
Because of me? I fail to see how this is my fault.
- You're kidding, right, Marty? - You. You ticked off the people.
You bit the hand, Marty. You bit the hand.
I don't know who I am, I don't know who I am.
I gotta go find myself in the wild!
- Hey hey! - Oh please.
I did not ask you to come after me, did I?
- He does have a point. - What?
I did say we should stay at the zoo, but you guys...
Melman, just shut it.
You're the one that suggested this whole idea to happen in the first place.
- Alex. Leave Melman out of this. - Thank you, Gloria.
Besides, Alex, it's not my fault that we were transferred.
Melman, shut it. Does anybody feel nauseous?
- I feel nauseous. - Melman, you always feel nauseous.
Progress report.
It's an older code, Skipper. I can't make it out.
You, higher mammal.
Can you read?
No. Phil can read, though. Phil.
Ship to Kenya.
Wildlife preserve.
Africa!
Africa? That ain't going to fly. Rico.
I was the star in the greatest city on Earth.
- Guys, listen. - A king. Loved by my people.
- Let's just be civil. - And you've ruined everything!
- "Loved"? - Guys, guys.
If the people loved you,
it's only because they didn't know the real you!
Don't make me come up there. I'd get to woopin'on both of you all!
I thought I knew the real you!
Your black-and-white stripes, they cancel each other out.
You're nothing!
Stop it, stop it, stop it!
You're not helping the situation.
Status.
It's no good Skipper. I don't know the codes.
Don't give me excuses. Give me results! Navigation.
All right. Let me think.
And shut him up!
- I did it! - Let's get this tin can turned around.
Guys?
Oh, no.
Gloria!
Melman!
Marty!
Alex!
Marty?!
Alex!
Marty!
No, wait. Come back, Marty!
Don't go.
Marty?
Melman?
Gloria?
Marty?!
Melman?!
Gloria?!
Marty!
Melman! Gloria!
Hey, anyone! Hello!
Marty, Melman, Gloria.
Gloria, Melman, Marty. Marty, Gelman, Gloria. Marty, Melman.
Morty, Morty, Gelman. Regis. Kelly.
Matt, Katie, Al.
Get me out of this thing. Somebody. Hello?
Get me out of this thing right now!
Hello? Somebody?
Melman!
Alex? Is that you?
Melman, I got you. Hang on! Hang on. I got you.
Melman! I got you, buddy.
Wait a sec, Melman. Wait right there.
- What are you doing? - I'm getting you out of the box.
- Relax. - Alex?
Giraffe, corner pocket!
- Wait! Wait! Come on. - Here goes nothing!
- Wait, wait, wait, wait. - Hold still!
- Wait, Alex. - Hold still.
- No, come on. - Here I come!
Look! Look! Look! Look!
It's Gloria. It's Gloria!
Oh, hey, it is Gloria.
Oh, my...
Gloria!
Gloria!
Alrighty, boys, fun's over.
Gloria!
Alex!
- Marty?! - Marty!
Yeah! All right! That's right!
Left! Left! Left. No, no, your left! Your left! Your left!
Right here's good.
You know, I don't really have anything on me right now.
I'll have to get you later.
To you too.
Marty!
Marty!
Alex!
Marty!
Alex!
Marty!
Al!
Marty!
Alex?
Marty!
Oh, sugar, honey, ice tea.
- Marty! - Hey!
- Hold up! Hold up! - I'm going to kill you!
Come here! Don't run away from me!
Calm down! Calm down!
If you keep running, I'm going to just kill you more!
Oh, look at us.
We're all here together. Safe and sound.
Yeah, here we are.
Where exactly is "here"?
San Diego.
San Diego?
White sandy beaches,
cleverly simulated natural environment, wide-open enclosures.
I'm telling you, this could be the San Diego Zoo.
Complete with fake rocks.
Wow, that looks real.
San Diego? What could be worse than San Diego?
I don't know. This place is crackalacking!
Oh, I could hang here. I could hang here.
- I'm gonna kill you, Marty! - Take it easy! Take it easy!
- And then strangle you! - Calm down.
Then bury you, dig you up and clone you, and kill all your clones..
- 20-second timeout. - And then, I'll never talk to you again.
Look. We're just going to find the people,
get checked in and have this mess straightened out.
Oh, great. This is just great. San Diego.
Now I'll have to compete with Shamu and his smug little grin.
I can't top that. Can't top it.
I'm ruined! I'm done. I'm out of the business.
It's your fault, Marty! You've ruined me.
Come on, Alex. Do you honestly think
I intended all of this to happen?
You want me to say that I'm sorry? Is that what you want?
Okay, I'm...
He just shushed me.
Marty, look, you've got to be just a little bit more und...
- Don't you shush me. - Do you hear that?
Don't you hear that?
I hear it now.
Where there's music, there's people.
- We go right to the head honcho. - A sidewalk would be nice.
Yeah, what a dump.
They should call it the San Di-Lame-O zoo!
First they tell you hey! We got this great open plan thing.
Let the animals run wild!
Next thing you know it...
flowers in your hair, and everybody's hugging everybody.
This place kind of grows on you. This way, guys! Come on!
What the...?
Oh, no!
Okay, let's make a good impression on the people.
Smiles, everyone. Let's get it together.
- Is that the best you can do Melman? - Oh, I'm not smiling. It's gas.
Okay well great. Let's make gas look good.
- Wow! - It's not people. It's animals.
California animals. Dude.
This is like a Puffy party.
All girls all over the world
Original King Julien! What a girl's man!
I love all them girls I love to move them body!
When you move your body,
you know, move it nice and sweet and sassy.
What kind of zoo is this?
I just saw 26 blatant health code violations.
I'm loving San Diego. This place is off the chizain.
Twenty-seven.
We should've brought chips and dip.
Wait.
Where's Alex? What happened to him?
He was right behind us. Wasn't he right behind us?
I don't know where he's at, but he's missing one heck of a party.
The fossa!
The fossa!
The fossa are attacking! Run for your lives!
- Fossa hungry. - Fossa eat.
I hate spiderwebs.
Yeah, thanks a lot, guys.
Thanks for waiting up. Really appreciate it.
Hey, hi. We just got in from New York, and we're looking for a supervisor.
Because we've been sitting on that beach back there for hours,
and nobody's even bothered to show up.
I don't know how things are...
Yeah, I don't know how things are normally run around here,
but obviously there's been some sort of major screw up, which is cool.
So if you could just point us towards the administrative offices, we'll just uhh...
Well, howdy-do.
Spider! Spider! Spider on my back!
Maurice, did you see that?
He scared the fossa away.
Come on, Gloria. Get it.
Get it! Get it! Get it!
- That's it! Smack it! - Get it, get it!
Whip it! Whip it good! Where'd it go?
King Julien, what are they? What are they?!
They are aliens. Savage aliens from the savage future.
They've come to kill us. And take our women.
And our precious metals.
Get up, Mort. Do not be near the king's feet, okay?
We're hiding. Be quiet, everyone. Including me.
Who's making that noise?
Oh, it's me again.
There it is! Get it! Come on, Gloria!
- Enough! Enough with the stick. - I think she got it.
Is it still on me? I hate spiders.
It's okay. It's gone.
They are savages.
Tonight we die.
The feet. I told you... I told you to... I told every...
Didn't I tell him about the feet?
He did tell you about the feet.
- Wait. I have a plan. - Really?
I have devised a cunning test
to see whether these are savage killers.
Hi there.
You let me handle it. Alex handles it. Marty does nothing.
Hi there.
Oh, jeez. Sorry.
- Oh, Alex, what'd you do? - No, no, no. Stop. Stop.
It's okay. It's okay.
I'm just a silly... Just a silly lion. Oh, jeez!
- Aw, Alex! - Oh, you poor little baby.
Did that big mean lion scare you?
He did? He's a big, bad old puddy tat, isn't he?
Come on. Mama'll hold you. Awww, look at you.
They are so cute from a reasonable distance.
Aren't you the sweetest little thing. I just want to dunk him in my coffee.
They're just a bunch of pansies.
I don't know.
There's still something about that one with the crazy hairdo
that I find suspicious.
Nonsense, Maurice.
Come on, everybody. Let's go and meet the pansies!
Presenting your royal highness, our illustrious King Julien XIII,
self-proclaimed lord of the lemurs, etc etc. Hooray, everybody.
He's got style.
What is he, like, king of the guinea pigs?
I think it's a squirrel.
Welcome, giant pansies.
Please feel free to bask in my glow.
- Definitely a squirrel. - Yep. Squirrel.
We thank you with enormous gratitude for chasing away the fossa.
- The "whossa"? - The fossa.
They're always annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties,
- and ripping our limbs off. - Yes, sounds good. Look, we're just...
We're just trying to find out where the people are, so...
Oh. Wow. What big teeth you have. Man!
Shame on you, Maurice.
Can you not see that you have insulted the freak?
You must tell me, who the heck are you?
I'm Alex. The Alex. And this is Gloria, Marty and Melman.
And just where are you giants from?
We're from New York and...
All hail the New York giants!
New York giants!
What are we doing, some sort of inbreeding program?
I say we just got to ask these bozos where the people are.
Excuse me. We bozos have the people, of course.
Hey, the bozos have the people.
Oh, well, great. Good. Phew.
They're up there.
Don't you love the people? Not a very lively bunch, though.
Wow.
So do you have any live people?
No. Only dead ones.
I mean, if we had a lot of live people here,
it wouldn't be called the wild, would it?
The wild?
Whoa. Hold up there a second, fuzzbucket.
You mean, like,
like the "live in a mud hut, wipe yourself with a leaf" type wild?
- Who wipes? - Oy vey.
- Oy vey! - Oy vey, everybody!
Oy vey!
Could you excuse me for a moment?
Get me out of here! We got to get out of here!
Alex!
- Help! - What are you doing?!
I'm swimming back to New York.
I know my chances are slim, but I have to try!
- You can't swim! - I said my chances are slim!
Nature! It's all over me! Get it off! I can't see! I can't see!
I can see!
OK look. There's obviously just been a little mistake.
I'm sure the people didn't dump us here on purpose.
As soon as they realize what happened,
they'll come looking for us, right?
Yeah, right.
I don't know the words. But we're born free.
You know something? I bet they're already on their way.
Well, boys, it's going to be ice-cold sushi for breakfast.
Rico.
Well, since I'm doomed to die on this forsaken island,
I, Melman Mankiewicz,
being of sound mind and unsound body,
have divided my estate equally among the three of you.
Sorry, Alex.
Hey! A latrine. Nice work, Melman. Outdoor plumbing.
No, it's not a latrine.
It's a grave. You sent Melman to his grave. Are you happy?
Aw, come on.
This isn't the end. This is a whole new beginning.
This could be the best thing that's ever happened to us!
No. No. No. No.
No. No. No. No. No. No.
This is not the best thing that's ever happened to us.
Yeah. You abused the power of the birthday wish
and brought this bad luck on all of us.
Why'd you tell us your wish? You're not supposed to do that.
Wait a minute. I didn't want to tell you. Remember?
- You guys made me tell you. - Oh, okay.
Besides, this isn't bad luck. This is good luck.
Look around. There's no fences, no schedules.
This place is beautiful. Baby, we were born...
Okay. Okay. I've had enough of this.
This is your side of the island, and this is our side of the island.
That is the bad side,
where you can prance and skip around like a magical pixie horse.
And do whatever the hack you wanna do all day long. And this..
This is the good side of the island,
for those who love New York and care about going home.
- Come on. - No, no. Back! Back!
You know what? This isn't good.
Okay! You all have your side, and I'll have mine.
And if you need me, I'll be over here,
on the fun side of the island, having a good old time.
This is the fun side,
this is the fun side where we're gonna have a great time
surviving until we go home.
- A yabbadabbado old time! - I love this side.
This side's the best.
That side stinks! You're on the Jersey side of this cesspool!
- Wilma! - Well. Now what do we do?
Don't worry Melman. I have a plan to get us rescued.
Can't wait to see the look on Marty's face when he sees this.
Just look at him. He's helpless without us.
Shut up, Spalding.
I've been standing here for hours, man.
How long do I have to pose like this?
She is finito.
I defy any rescue boat within a million miles to miss this baby.
When the moment is right, we will ignite the beacon of liberty
and be rescued from this awful nightmare!
What do you think? Pretty cool, huh?
How's the liberty fire going, Melman?
Great. Idiot.
I heard that.
Why can't we just borrow some of Marty's fire?
That's wild fire. We're not using wild fire on Lady Liberty.
- Now, rub, Melman. - I've been doing...
I can't. I can't. I can't do it. I ju... I can't do it!
Fire.
Fire.
Fire! Fire!
Oh, my.
Fire!
Not yet! No, no! No!
Fire!
Melman, hold still!
Jump! Alex, jump!
Don't worry, cats always land on their...
Face? Man, what kind of cat are you?
You maniac!
You burned it up!
Darn you!
Darn you all to heck!
Can we go to the fun side now?
Everybody, calm down. Come on. Into your chairs.
Yes. Everybody, please. Calm down. Let go of his tail.
Separate those two, would you, please?
You over here, and you over there.
Everyone... Shhh.
Calm down, people, okay?
Now, presenting your royal highness, the illustrious blah, blah, blah.
You know, et cetera, et cetera. Hooray. Let's go.
Now, everybody,
we all have great curiosity about our guests, the New York giants.
- Yes, Willie? - I like them.
I like them. I like them. I liked them first.
Before I even met them I liked them.
- Yes. Yes. Yes! - I liked them right away.
You hate them compared to how much I like them.
Oh, shut up. You're so annoying!
Now, for as long as we can remember,
we have been attacked and eaten by the dreaded fossa.
The fossa! The fossa are attacking!
It's a cookbook! It's a cookbook!
Please. Maurice.
Shhh. Quiet!
Come on, y'all. They ain't attacking us this very instant!
So my genius plan is this:
We will make the New York giants
our friends and keep them close.
Then, with Mr. Alex protecting us,
we will be safe and never have to worry
about the dreaded fossa ever again.
I thought of that. I thought of that.
- Yes. Me. I did. - Hold on, everybody. Hold on.
I'm just thinking now.
I mean, does anyone wonder why the fossa
were so scared of Mr. Alex?
I mean, maybe we should be scared too.
What if Mr. Alex is even worse than the fossa?
I'm telling you that dude just gives me the heebiedabajeebies.
Maurice, you did not raise your hand.
Therefore, your heinous comment will be stricken from the record.
Does anyone else have the heebie-jeebies?
No? Good. So shut up.
When the New York giants wake up,
we will make sure that they wake up in paradise.
Now, who would like a cookie?
Yo, Al. Melman and Gloria are over there having a good time.
There's room on the fun side for one more.
No, thanks.
Look, I've been thinking.
Maybe if you gave this place a chance,
I don't know, you might even enjoy yourself.
Marty, I'm tired. I'm hungry.
I just want to go home.
Could you just give it a chance? Think about it.
It really isn't the fun side without you.
I know. And then...
- It's him. - Who is it?
It's the pizza man. Who the heck do you think it is?
Yes? Can I help you?
Can I come to the fun side?
Beg your pardon?
You know, I've been kind of a jerk Marty.
But I've been thinking about what you said, and I'm sorry.
Welcome to Casa del Wild. Take a load off.
Hey, hey, wipe your feet.
- Alex! - Mi casa is su casa.
Very impressive.
Hey, have a drink. It's on the house.
This is seawater.
Oh, you don't swallow it. It's just temporary till the plumbing's done.
Hey, y'all look hungry.
How would you like some of nature's goodness?
You have food?
The Fun Side Special, coming up.
Seaweed on a stick.
Seaweed?
On a stick. Don't love it till you try it.
That's unbelievable.
- So good. - Well, thanks.
It does kind of hit the spot, doesn't it?
Well, maybe it could use a little lemon.
No, it's great. It's really great. Doesn't get any better than this.
Oh, but it does.
Check this out.
Wow. Would you look at that.
It's like billions and billions of helicopters.
It's a shooting star. Make a wish. Quick!
Ooh! How about a thick, juicy steak?
You know what, Alex?
I promise you I'm going to find you a steak tomorrow if it kills me.
Thanks, Marty.
It is getting late. I guess I'm going to...
I think I'm going to hit the sack too.
Sweet dreams, everyone.
Alex.
What are you doing?
27, 28, 29, 30. Hmm 30. Thirty black and only 29 white.
Looks like you're black with white stripes after all.
Dilemma solved. Good night.
You see, Maurice, Mr. Alex was grooming his friend.
He is clearly a tender, loving thing.
How can you have the heebie-jeebies for Mr. Alex?
Look at him. He's so cute and plushy.
I don't think he was grooming him Julien.
Look more like he was tasting him to me.
Suit yourself, no matter. I don't care.
Soon we will put my excellent plan to action.
All we have to do is wait
until they are deep in their sleep.
How long is this going to take?!
Well, this sucks!
Wake up, Mr. Alex.
Wake up, Mr. Alex.
Rise and shining.
Wakey-waking, Mr. Alex!
Wake up! Alex!
You suck your thumb?
- Where are we? - What the heck is going on?
- Where's the beach? - Take it easy.
What is this?
- Who built a forest? - Don't be alarmed, giant freaks.
While you were asleep,
we simply took you to our little corner of heaven.
Welcome to Madagascar.
- Mada-who-ah? - What?
No, not whooha. Ascar.
Marty. It's...
It's just like my mural back at the zoo.
Oh, no, fella, that is the real deal right there.
Look at that, that's not a bad view.
I mean, that's the thing that you were...
always looking at, but it's actually there.
I mean that's like the real version of...
Hey! How about once around the park?
Let's get our blood pumping,
get those lungs breathing at all this fresh air, who's with me?
Ah, no. I really I don't think I can. You're it!
Hey! Want to play around?
Got you there!
Come here!
You're it.
Hey, stop that! Hey, you're crazy!
Okay, Marty, I'm it.
I'm it. I'm it. You win.
Come on, Alex, get in the groove.
I haven't eaten in two days.
My blood sugar's real low. I just don't have the energy.
I don't think that's your problem.
First of all, that's not how you run in the wild.
Let's go man. Put the rubber to the road!
You just have to let out that inner lion.
- Now, who's the cat? - Marty, I really don't...
You are, that's who. Come on! Here we go!
That's it. Now let's build up some steam!
- You're the cat. - Who's the cat?
- You're the cat. - Who's the cat?
- You're the cat. - Who's the cat?
- You're the cat. - Who's the cat?
- You're the cat. - Who's the cat?
Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat?
Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat?
Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat?
Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat?
I'm the cat!
Surprise!
You're it. You're it!
Can't juke the cat. Cat's too quick.
I feel like a mile-high pastrami on rye on the fly from the deli in the sky!
- Let's go wild! - Now you're talking!
Man! I feel... different.
Noogie, noogie, noogie. Noogie, noogie, noogie!
- Kind of charged up or something. - Marty! Marty! Marty!
- Like you said, baby, it's... - Crackalacking.
- Ain't that right, Melman? - Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
I'm in heaven.
You see, Maurice,
Alex is now our friend and the fossas are nowhere to be seen.
It could be said that my plan is working
in a very good working kind of way.
Alex. You got to try some of this.
I feel good. I feel like a king again.
King?
You should see his act.
Come on, Alex, why don't you show him some of your act.
Oh. No, I really don't think I could... Okay.
Ladies and gentlemen. Primates of all ages.
The wild proudly presents:
The king.
Alex the lion!
E flat, fellas.
Yeah! The king is in the house!
See, if he is the king, then where is his crown?
I've got a crown.
Got a very nice one. And it's here on my head.
Look at it. Have I got it on?
Do the roar, man. Do the roar.
Wow. I've never heard that one before.
Yeah! Go wild, man! Come on!
Break out the wave!
Excuse me.
You're biting my butt.
- No, I'm not. - Yes, you are.
- Alex, what did you do? - You just bit me on the butt!
No. I didn't. Did I?
- You kind of did. - He just bit me on the butt!
What the heck is wrong with you?
Why'd you bite me?
- Man, it's because you are his dinner. - What?!
- Excuse me? - That's dumb.
Come, come, Maurice.
What is a simple bite on the buttocks among friends?
Here, give me a nibble.
The party is over, Julien. Your brilliant plan has failed.
What are you talking about?
Your friend here is what we call
a deluxe-model hunting and eating machine.
And he eats steak...
which is you.
- Get out of here. - Okey-dokey, Maurice, I admit it.
The plan failed.
All is lost! We're all doomed.
The fossas will come back and gobble us with their mouths because...
we are all steak.
I'm steak! Me, me, me!
Mr. Alex cannot stay here.
He belongs with his own kind on the fossa side of the island.
By the power vested in me,
by the law of the jungle, blah, blah, blah, blah...
Be gone!
What? Come on, do I look like a steak to you?
Yeah!
See, I told you I don't look like a... Wait. What you say?
Oh, yeah!
- He's going savage. - Run for your lives.
Marty, run!
A bull's eye. Excellent shot, Maurice.
Thank you.
Marty?
I'm so sorry, Marty.
What is wrong with me?
Ow.
Oh, no.
What have I done?
It's true. I'm a monster.
I got to get out of here.
What have I done? This is a nightmare.
And it's all my fault.
Now, because of me, we've lost Alex.
Well, what are we going to do?
We're gonna find a way to help him. That's what we're gonna do.
Oh, just okay.
- Come on, we are New Yorkers, right? - Yeah.
- We're tough. We're gritty. - Yeah.
- We're adaptable! - Yeah!
And we are not going to lay down like a bunch of Melmans.
No, we're not.
Oh. Gloria.
That was not me, okay? That was the boat.
- The boat! - The boat?
The boat's come back for us!
Come on, guys, we got to flag it down.
There it is!
- Hey, over here! - Over here!
Over here! Yo!
Melman, give me a lift. Come on. Hurry up! Lift me up!
Help! Help! Help!
- Over here! Come on. Come on. - Oh, my neck. My neck. You guys.
- Melman! Steady. This way! - Over here! Over here!
You have no idea how much this hurts.
Hey, boat! We're over here!
Look! It's turning! It's coming back!
- It's coming back! - Yes, this way!
Come on! Come on, baby!
Yes! You guys.
You guys flag down that boat. I'll go get Alex.
Whoa! Hold on there.
You cannot go back there by yourself.
Aw, come on. I know Alex.
When he hears we're rescued, he'll snap right out of it!
The people are coming. They can help us.
Melman's right. The people will know what to do.
Now come on, we gotta flag down that boat.
Now, this is more like it.
You?! Oh, ma... Where are the people?
We killed them and ate their livers.
Gotcha, didn't I?
Just kiddin' doll, the people are fine.
They're on a slow lifeboat to China.
Hey, I know you two.
Where's that psychotic lion and our monochromatic friend?
Marty? He's righ... Where did he go? He was right behind us.
He went back for Alex. He's gonna get himself killed.
Well, boys, our monochromatic friend's in danger.
Looks like we have a job to do.
Captain's log: Embarking into hostile environment.
Kowalski. We'll need to win the hearts and the minds of the natives.
Rico. We'll need special tactical equipment.
We're gonna face extreme peril.
Private probably won't survive.
Alex! Come out, Alex!
The boat's here! We can go home!
Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex!
Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex!
Alex! Alex! Alex!
Alex! Alex! Alex!
Alex!
Alex!
Marty?
Snap out of it, Alex. The boat came back.
We can get out of here.
We can go back to civilization,
and everything will be, just like it used to be!
Stay back.
Please.
I'm a monster.
Alex, you're no monster. You're my friend.
We're a team. You and me, remember?
I don't want to hurt you.
Alex.
I ain't leaving without you.
Alex? I'm thinking of a song.
It's a wonderful song. I'm sure you're familiar with it.
Start spreadin' the news
I'm leaving today
We are a great big part of it
Come on, you know the words. Two little words.
Please don't make me sing this by myself.
You really don't want to hear me sing this by myself.
Uh, Alex? Could you come out here for a minute?
Hey, Alex, a little help.
Help me!
Alex! Help!
Help me! Anybody, help me! Somebody!
Help!
- Melman? - That's right, baby.
Run!
- What's the plan? - This is the plan.
- Fossa hungry. - Fossa eat.
This is the plan?
Fossa halt.
Fossa ooh.
Fossa aaahh.
Fossa ooh.
Fossa aaahh.
Come and get it.
Fossa.
- Take that. - Fossa ow!
There's too many of them, Skipper.
It's been a real pleasure serving with you boys.
Alex?
That's my kill.
Mine.
Alex hungry.
Alex eat.
It's showtime.
Thanks for not giving up on me Marty.
Man, you almost gave me a heart attack.
You can't just come up here and sneak up on me.
Just because you're a lion... Let go off me. Let go off me.
We're getting out of here. Guys, just go with me on this.
Like I said, it's showtime.
Mine.
My kill.
They're all mine.
It's the king of the beasts! Oh, no!
- Please don't eat me Mr. Lion. - He's big and scary!
Fear me! Savagery beyond comprehension.
- I am far too young to die! - You're a monster! A monster, I say!
- And, you! - Me?
Oh, you want some of this? Ooh! You better run for your lives.
- Somebody call a cop! - He's psychotic!
This is my territory. Understand?
I never, ever want to see you on my turf again.
Boo.
Yeah! You the cat!
Got my boy back!
I did it!
Give me some love!
The plan worked! The plan worked! I'm very clever!
I'm the one, baby! Come on. Time to robot.
I am very clever king.
I am super genius.
I am robot king of the monkey things.
- Compute, compute. - So, what's for lunch?
- Close those eyes. - Why do I have to close my eyes?
- Do it. - Yeah. They're closed.
- Tighter. - Yes, sir.
- No peeking. - All right. They're closed.
Rico.
Hai.
Open that hatch.
Fire in the hole. Now chew.
Chew like you mean it. Savor it.
- And? - Well?
Pretty good, right?
There's always Plan B.
This is better than steak.
I love it. I love it!
The kitty loves the fishy.
Well, I propose a toast.
Now, he may be a pain in the butt at times...
And trust me, I know.
But this cat proved to me without a doubt
that his heart is bigger than his stomach.
- To Alex. - To Alex.
Enough! Stop it!
Well. What do you guys think? Should we head back to New York?
I don't know Marty. I mean, this is your dream.
You sure you want to leave?
I don't care where we are.
As long as we're together, it doesn't matter to me.
Well, in that case...
Yo. Rico. I'll take 300 orders...
- To go. - Hai.
Yes, yes.
But before you leave, I have an announcement to make.
So shut up, everyone, please. Thank you.
After much deep and profound brain things inside my head,
I have decided to thank you
for bringing peace to our home.
And to make you feel good,
I'm going to give you this lovely parting gift.
No, I couldn't. Really, I can't take your crown.
That's okay, I've got a bigger crown.
It's got a gecko on it.
Look at him shake. Go, Stevie, go!
- Bye, little fuzzbuckets! - Thanks for everything!
- So long! - OK. Bye-bye, now.
- Arrivederci. - Bye-bye.
- Toodle-oo! - See you later, crocodile.
Maurice, my arm is tired. Wave it for me.
Faster, you naughty little monkey.
You know, by the time we get back to New York,
it's gonna be the middle of the winter.
So I was just thinking, why rush?
Maybe we could make a few.. side stops along the way.
- Maybe Paris. - You just read my mind.
- I was thinking Spain. - Run with the bulls.
- What about Fiji? - Canada. Can we?
Cheap meds.
You know. I wouldn't even mind coming back here for a visit sometime.
- Yeah. I could do that. - You could say that again.
Skipper?
Don't you think we should tell them that the boat's out of gas?
Nah.
Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.