Mad Monster Party? (1967) - full transcript

When Dr Frankenstein decides to retire from the monster-making business, he calls an international roster of monsters to a creepy convention to elect his successor. Everyone is there including Dracula, The Werewolf, The Creature, Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde and many more. But Frankenstein's title is not all that is at stake. The famous doctor has also discovered the secret of total destruction that must not fall into the wrong hands!

[ Shrieking ]

AHH, A LIFETIME
OF EXPERIMENTATION...

CAPPED IN ONE SMALL VIAL.

NOW TO THE FINAL STEP--

THE INFUSION OF ENERGY.

AH, THE POWER OF THE UNIVERSE--
MINE !

IT MUST WORK.

A TEST--
I MUST TEST IT !

[ Squawking ]

HA-HA-HA.
"QUOTH THE RAVEN,

'NEVERMORE.'"



AH, I'VE DONE IT--

CREATED THE MEANS
TO DESTROY MATTER.

THEY MUST ALL KNOW,

KNOW THAT I,
BARON VON FRANKENSTEIN,

MASTER OF THE SECRET
OF CREATION,

HAVE NOW MASTERED THE SECRET
OF DESTRUCTION.

THE INVITATIONS
MUST BE SENT AT ONCE.

[ Squeaking ]

HA, OH WHAT A FINE PARTY
WE'LL HAVE
WHEN THEY ALL ARRIVE,

EH, MY BOY ?

[ Groaning ]

* THE FULL MOON *

* BRINGS OUT
THE MONSTER IN YOU *

* A STRANGE TUNE *



* SEEMS TO BE PLAYING
FOR YOU *

* COULD YOU BE
SOMEONE'S INVENTION *

* SO UNREAL
AS YOU FEEL TONIGHT *

* DID YOU SELL YOUR SOUL
TO THE DEVIL *

* AT THAT MONSTER PARTY
LAST NIGHT *

* MAD, MAD, MAD *

* MONSTER PARTY *

* DID YOU SELL YOUR SOUL
TO MEPHISTOPHELES *

* TELL ME, BABY, TELL ME *
[ Ringing ]

* TELL ME, PLEASE *

* YOU MADE A DATE
WITH THE DEVIL, NOT ME *

* IF YOU KNOW MY FATE, HONEY
LEVEL WITH ME *

* THE COLD NIGHT *

* BRINGS OUT THE CREATURE
IN YOU *

* A STRANGE LIGHT *

* SEEMS TO BE FALLING ON YOU *

* I KNOW IT'S NOT
YOUR INTENTION *

* TO FRIGHTEN ME SO TONIGHT *

* WON'T YOU TELL ME, BABY
WHAT HAPPENED *

* AT THAT MONSTER PARTY
LAST NIGHT *

* MAD, MAD, MAD *

* MONSTER PARTY *

* LAST NIGHT **

[ Man ]
FLANKEN !

FELIX !

TAKE IT OUT OF MY PAY,
MR. KRONKITE.

PAY ?
WHAT PAY ?

YOU HAVE TWO MORE MONTHS
TO WORK FOR ME FOR NOTHING
BEFORE YOU'RE EVEN AS IT IS.

NOW, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THE PHARMACY DEPARTMENT
IN THE FIRST PLACE ?

NEED I REMIND YOU
THAT THIS IS A DRUGSTORE ?

THERE ARE PEOPLE WAITING
AT THE LUNCH COUNTER.

SOMEONE IS BROWSING
THROUGH THE PAPERBACK BOOKS.

WE'VE GOT A WHOLE RACK
FULL OF THOSE VEEBLEFETZERS
TO UNLOAD,

AND YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME
IN THE PHARMACY DEPARTMENT !

WHAT AM I NOT
PAYING YOU FOR, FELIX ?

I'M SORRY, MR. KRONKITE.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO DO FIRST ?

FIRST ?
WAIT ON THE PEOPLE !
[ Whistle Blows ]

MAILMAN !

THESE ARE FOR YOU,
MR. KRONKITE.

AND HERE'S ONE FOR YOU, FELIX.
HAS A REAL FANCY STAMP ON IT.

OH, LET'S SEE NOW.
"INVITED TO--"

[ Mumbling ]

OH, BOY !

"CONVENTION--
BIG GATHERING OF NOTABLES."

GOLLY ! WOW !

FELIX, STOP YOUR MUMBLING
AND TELL US WHAT THE LETTER
IS ALL ABOUT.

I'M INVITED TO AN ISLAND
IN THE CARIBBEAN,

TO TAKE PART
IN A SCIENTIFIC FIRST,
A NEW DISCOVERY.

YOU ?
A MENTAL LAST
TO A SCIENTIFIC FIRST ?

I'VE SEEN POSTCARDS
OF THEM CARIBBEAN ISLANDS.

LOTS OF SUN,
WHITE BEACHES, PALM TREES,

SWIMMING POOLS IN THEM
BIG FANCY HOTELS,
REALLY ?

GOLF COURSES, TENNIS COURTS,
PRETTY GIRLS, NIGHT CLUBS.
REALLY ?

MR. KRONKITE, THE CONVENTION
IS ON THE 13th.

CAN I HAVE THIS WEEK OFF
TO GET THERE AND BACK ?

AHA ! I WAS WONDERING
WHEN YOU'D ASK THAT.

YOU'RE NOT DUE
FOR A VACATION YET.

BUT I HAVEN'T HAD ONE
IN THREE YEARS.
PLEASE, MR. KRONKITE.

IF YOU LEAVE, WHO'LL MAKE
THE COFFEE, WASH THE DISHES,
MIND THE STORE ?

PLEASE, MR. KRONKITE.
PRETTY PLEASE ?

HUH ? A-- A--

[ Sneezes ]

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN I GET EXCITED.

ENOUGH ! ENOUGH !
GO, GO !

TAKE A WEEK, A MONTH,
A YEAR !

BUT IT'S NOT YOUR VACATION,
IT'S MINE.

THANKS, MR. KRONKITE.
I SURE APPRECIATE--

I'M SORRY, MR. KRONKITE.
I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

GO, GO, GO !
GET OUT BEFORE
YOU WRECK THE WHOLE STORE !

DO YOU THINK FELIX
WILL GET THERE BY THE 13th ?

BIRD-WATCHING AGAIN ?
FANG, DO YOU FORGET ?

THE LAST TIME
YOU HAD A ROVING EYE,

I KEPT IT IN A JAR
FOR A WEEK !

AH-HA-HA-HA !
HA-HA-HA !

[ Groaning ]

DON'T GIVE ME ANY
OF YOUR BACK MUMBLE,

YOU, YOU, YOU... MONSTER !

* OH, YOU'RE DIFFERENT *

* I KNEW IT WOULDN'T BE
THE SAME, THAT YOU'D PLAY
A DIFFERENT GAME *

* 'CAUSE YOU'RE DIFFERENT
HA-HA-HA, YOU'RE DIFFERENT *

* I DON'T KNOW WHETHER
TO COMPLAIN
BUT YOU'RE DRIVING ME INSANE *

* 'CAUSE YOU'RE DIFFERENT
YOU'RE DIFFERENT *

* NOW LET'S AGREE YOU'RE NOT
INCREDIBLY HANDSOME
OR EVEN CHARMING *

* BUT YOU CAN BE SO
DISARMING *

* I THINK
IT'S SIMPLY ALARMING *

* YOU'RE DIFFERENT
AS UNPREDICTABLE AS RAIN *

* YOU'RE AN EASTER CANDY CANE *

* YES, YOU'RE DIFFERENT
HA-HA-HA, DIFFERENT *

* LIKE A SNOWY DAY IN JUNE *

* LIKE A NEW
BRAZILIAN TUNE *

* YEAH, YOU'RE DIFFERENT
YECH *

* YOU'RE DIFFERENT AND YOU KNOW
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU *

* HA-HA-HA-HA *

* NOW LET'S AGREE YOU'RE NOT
INCREDIBLY HANDSOME
OR EVEN CHARMING *

* BUT YOU CAN BE
SO DISARMING *

* THAT I FIND IT
SIMPLY ALARMING *

* YOU'RE DIFFERENT
AS UNPREDICTABLE AS RAIN *

* YOU'RE AN EASTER CANDY CANE *

* YES, YOU'RE DIFFERENT
HA-HA-HA *

* DIFFERENT
LIKE A SNOWY DAY IN JUNE *

* LIKE A NEW
BRAZILIAN TUNE *

* YEAH, YEAH
YOU'RE DIFFERENT *

* YOU'RE DIFFERENT *

* AND YOU KNOW THAT'S
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU **

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA !

[ Knocking On Door ]
COME IN.

GOOD MORNING, DOCTOR.
I'VE BROUGHT YOU
YOUR MAIL.

THANK YOU, MY DEAR.

YOU KNOW, SEEING YOU
EVERY DAY GIVES ME
A GREAT DEAL OF PLEASURE.

IF I MUST SAY SO MYSELF,
YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE.

WHY, DR. FRANKENSTEIN.
[ Clears Throat ]

WE'VE RECEIVED REPLIES
FROM ALMOST ALL YOU INVITED:

DRACULA, WEREWOLF,
DR. JEKYLL,

THE HUNCHBACK,
CREATURE.

BUT WE HAVEN'T RECEIVED
A REPLY FROM...

FROM... IT.

WELL, I SHOULD HOPE
THAT WE DON'T.

YOU SEE,
IT WASN'T INVITED.
OH ?

IT WAS A CRUSHING BORE
AT OUR LAST CONVENTION.

IT KEPT WALKING AROUND
CRUSHING BOARS, WILD BOARS,
IN ITS HANDS.

VERY FRANKLY, FRANCESCA,
IT DISGUSTS EVEN ME.

I SEE.

DOCTOR, WE ALSO RECEIVED
A VERY STRANGE LETTER...

FROM SOMEONE WHO SAYS
HE'S ARRIVING ON THE 13th.

A FELIX... FLANKEN.

HE'S COMING ?
OH, THAT IS GOOD NEWS !
WHAT ELSE DOES HE WRITE ?

"LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING
ALL THOSE FUN PEOPLE
AT YOUR RESORT."

RESORT ?
FUN PEOPLE ?

HE DOESN'T MEAN DRACULA
AND THE WEREWOLF, SURELY !

YES, YES, GO ON, GO ON.

"CAN HARDLY WAIT TO DIP
INTO THE POOL IN THE FRONT
OF YOUR RESORT...

AND LIE ON
YOUR BEAUTIFUL BEACH."

DOCTOR, DOES HE KNOW
ABOUT THE CROCODILES
IN THE LAGOON...

AND THE QUICKSAND
ON THE BEACH ?

WHO, OR WHAT,
IS THIS FLANKEN ?

OH, DON'T BE ALARMED,
MY DEAR.

FELIX FLANKEN IS A MERE HUMAN,

AND HE'S UNAWARE OF THE NATURE
OF OUR LITTLE GATHERING.

BUT HE ALSO HAPPENS
TO BE MY NEPHEW.

YOUR NEPHEW ?
I THOUGHT YOU HAD NO...
LIVING RELATIVES.

FELIX IS THE CHILD
OF MY YOUNGEST SISTER.

SHE TURNED OUT TO BE
THE WHITE SHEEP OF THE FAMILY.

OH, TOO BAD.
SHE HAD A GREAT FLARE
FOR WITCHCRAFT.

BUT THEN SHE MET
THIS TRAVELING MEDICINE MAN,

CHUCK FLANKEN,
IN TRANSYLVANIA,

AND SHE ELOPED WITH HIM
AND WENT TO THE UNITED STATES
TO LIVE.

THEY'RE BOTH GONE NOW,
BUT THEIR SON, FELIX,

IS MY ONLY RELATIVE
AND HEIR.

BUT WHY ARE YOU INVITING HIM
TO THIS CONVENTION ?

BECAUSE, MY DEAR,
I'M-- I'M RETIRING.

YES. OH, DON'T LOOK
SO UNBELIEVING.

I'VE GROWN A LITTLE TIRED
OF THIS HORROR BUSINESS,

DOING BAD FOR OTHERS
AND VERY RARELY GETTING
ANY BAD IN RETURN.

BUT NOW THAT I'VE MASTERED
MY GREATEST DISCOVERY,

I'D LIKE TO RETIRE
WHILE I'M ON TOP.

I SHALL TURN OVER
ALL MY SECRETS TO FELIX,
INCLUDING MY LAST GREAT ONE,

AND THEN PRESENT HIM
TO THE CONVENTION
AS MY SUCCESSOR.

[ Clock Chiming ]
AAAH !

[ Chimes ]
AAAH !

[ Chimes ]
AAAH !

1:00. OUR OTHER FRIENDS
SHOULD BE TRAVELING ON THEIR WAY
TO THE ISLAND ABOUT NOW.

I'LL STILL HAVE TO SEE
TO THEIR ACCOMMODATIONS.
YOU TIDY UP IN HERE.

OH, I DO HOPE YOU LIKE
FELIX FLANKEN WHEN YOU MEET HIM.

I WANT YOU TWO
TO BE FRIENDS.

FELIX FLANKEN--
LIKE HIM ?

I'LL LOVE HIM
TO PIECES !

DID WE PICK UP
ANY PASSENGERS ON THIS STOP,
CAPTAIN ?

NOT YET.
OUR ONLY PASSENGER IS STILL
THAT FUNNY GUY FROM LONDON.

WHAT'S HIS NAME ?
DR. JEKYLL.

DR. JEKYLL ?
THAT'S ODD. HE TOLD ME
HIS NAME WAS MR. HYDE.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE ?
HE PAID HIS FARE.
GET THIS LOADED ABOARD THE SHIP.

HOW, CAPTAIN ?
THE CREW JUMPED SHIP.

WHAT ? NO CREW ?

I DID SHANGHAI A FEW LADS
LAST NIGHT,

BUT THEY'RE STILL IN
THE HOLD SLEEPING IT OFF.

EH, WHAT ?
LOOK AT THIS.

WHAT THE TIDE BROUGHT IN.
[ Mumbles, Grunts ]

WHAT'S THAT, MATE ?
YOU WANT TO SIGN ABOARD FOR
PASSAGE TO THE ISLE OF EVIL ?

[ Mumbles, Grunts ]

WELL, WE JUST MAY HAVE ROOM
FOR ANOTHER HAND ON BOARD,

BUT WE'RE NOT GOING
TO THE ISLE OF EVIL.

GET THIS LOADED
ABOARD THE SHIP.

[ Grunts ]

BLIMEY, HE'S AS STRONG
AS 50 MEN.

AND AS UGLY
AS ANY I'VE EVER SEEN.

HOW DO YOU DO,
GENTLEMEN ?

COULD YOU TELL ME THE FARE
TO THE ISLE OF EVIL ?

ANOTHER ONE ?
WE DON'T USUALLY STOP
AT THE ISLE OF--

THAT WILL BE
A HUNDRED BUCKS.

AND WITH YOUR FANCY CAPE
AND TUXEDO AND ALL,

I'D THINK
YOU COULD AFFORD IT.

CONSIDERING THE DILAPIDATED
CONDITION OF MY WALLET--

I MEAN, YOUR SHIP,

I THINK I HAD BETTER FLY.

ME EYES ARE PLAYING
TRICKS ON ME.

DID YOU SEE WHAT
I THINK I SAW, CAPTAIN ?

IF I SAW WHAT YOU THINK
YOU SAW,

I'D SAY WE WERE BOTH
GOING BATTY.

PARDON ME, GENTLEMEN,
BUT DOES THIS PICKLED HERRING
STOP AT THE ISLE OF EVIL ?

BLIMEY, IT'S
ANOTHER ONE OF THEM.

WE'LL STOP, DON'T WORRY.

WE-WE'LL DO WHAT YOU WANT.
NO CHARGE FOR YOU.
BE MY GUEST.

BUT PLEASE...
NONE OF YOUR SURPRISES.

GOLLY. WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH THOSE TWO ?

HAVEN'T THEY EVER SEEN
A TOURIST BEFORE ?

[ Howling ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Ship's Whistle Blows ]

THE CAPTAIN SAID I COULD HAVE
ANY CABIN I WANTED.

NOW, LET ME SEE.
A SOUTHERN EXPOSURE
WOULD BE NICE.

[ Gasps ]
OH, EXCUSE ME, SIR.

SIR ? UH, MA'AM ?

[ Panting ]

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY,
BUT I CAN'T SEE A THING
WITHOUT MY GLASSES.

[ Panting ]
LET ME HELP YOU
WITH YOUR FUR PIECE.

[ Whimpering ]

MADAM, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
I HOPE I DIDN'T OFFEND YOU.

DON'T GO !
I CAN'T STAND
A WOMAN CRYING.

I'LL HAVE TO GET
AN EXTRA PAIR OF GLASSES
OUT OF MY LUGGAGE.

OHH ! I'M SORRY,
BUT I LOST MY GLASSES
AND CAN'T SEE A THING.

[ Chuckles ]
I'VE HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.

[ Whistle Blows ]

GO BELOW, MATE
AND INVITE OUR PASSENGERS
TO DINE WITH ME.

ARE YOU SURE
YOU WANNA DO THAT ?

GO ON !

HOW DO YOU DO ?

AAH, SORRY,
WRONG CABIN.

WHY DID I EVER DECIDE
TO GO TO SEA ?

[ Gasps ]

FEET, IF YOU'VE EVER MOVED,

MOVE LIKE YOU'VE
NEVER MOVED BEFORE.

JEKYLL'S MY NAME.
DR. JEKYLL.

FELIX FLANKEN.
I'M A PHARMACIST.

[ Sneezes ]

[ Coughing ]

[ Sneezes, Coughs ]

[ Hiccupping ]

I'M-I'M ALSO ALLERGIC.

I HAVE A LITTLE ELIXIR
THAT KEEPS ME FEELING
IN WONDERFUL METTLE.

UM, TO YOUR GOOD HEALTH.

[ Gagging ]

DR. JEKYLL,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ?

[ Growls ]

MY-MY GOODNESS,
YOU LOOK AWFUL.

ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE NOT SEASICK ?
DR. JEKYLL, I THINK--

HYDE, HYDE, HYDE.
[ Growls ]

HIDE ? YOU WANT ME TO HIDE ?

WELL, IF YOU WANNA PLAY GAMES,
YOU MUST BE FEELING BETTER.

BUT YOU CERTAINLY
DON'T LOOK IT.

OKAY, I'LL HIDE
AND YOU SEE
IF YOU CAN FIND ME.

[ Bell Ringing ]

12:00 MIDNIGHT ?

IF DR. JEKYLL DOESN'T FIND
ME SOON, I THINK I'LL GO
TO MY CABIN AND TO BED.

[ Mumbling ]

[ Water Splashes ]

[ Water Splashes ]

NOW, FRIENDS, YOU'LL DISCOVER
WHO WAS THE ORIGINAL BATMAN.

HMM, MY, BUT
IT'S GETTING CHILLY.

[ Howling ]

YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN
IMPORTANT ASSIGNMENTS
TO CARRY OUT.

AND I EXPECT EACH ONE OF YOU
TO DO HIS JOB.

I WANT EACH OF YOU...

TO STAY CALM AND COLLECTED
NO MATTER WHAT
EMERGENCY ARISES.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE
ANYONE LOSING HIS HEAD.

I TAKE IT YOURS
WASN'T HOOKED ON.

ALL RIGHT, YETCH,
PICK IT UP.

PICK IT UP !

DON'T KNOW IF
YOU'RE COMING OR GOING,
DO YOU, YETCH ?

I'M SO EXCITED, DOCTOR.

I HAVEN'T SEEN ALL
OF OUR OLD FRIENDS IN YEARS.

I GOT SO NERVOUS AND EXCITED
AND NERVOUS AND--

LET'S TRY NOT
TO GO TO PIECES, YETCH.

DOCTOR, A GROUP
OF THE CONVENTION PARTY
HAS JUST ARRIVED.

GOOD.
THANK YOU, FRANCESCA.

EVERYONE TO HIS POST.

WE MUST MAKE CERTAIN
THAT IT DOES NOT GET
ONTO THE ISLAND.

TO YOUR CHECKPOINTS !

AH, FRANCESCA,

YOU BEAUTIFUL, ADORABLE,

LOVEABLE CREATURE.

HOW MUCH I'VE WANTED
TO TOUCH YOU.

TAKE YOUR HANDS
AWAY FROM ME.

YOU... CREEP !

SHE NOTICED ME !

FOR THE FIRST TIME,
SHE NOTICED ME.

SHE TOLD ME TO CREEP,

SO I'LL CREEP.

I HEAR HER VOICE,
SO SOFT, SO SWEET.

WHEN I'M AWAKE
OR WHEN I SLEEP,

IT MAKES ME BURN
WITH PASSION'S HEAT...

TO HEAR HER SAY...
"YOU CREEP."

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU ZOMBIES ?

DON'T JUST STAND THERE
LIKE UNION GRAVE DIGGERS.

DR. FRANKENSTEIN WANTS YOU
TO PATROL THE ISLAND !

STOP BEHAVING
LIKE A BUNCH OF GHOSTS !

GET INTO YOUR PLANES !

CONTACT !

OH, ONE OF THESE DAYS
I'LL HAVE TO TALK
TO DR. FRANKENSTEIN...

ABOUT GETTING NEW AIRPLANES.

CONTACT AGAIN.

YEOW-W-W-W !

QUICKLY, INTO THE AIR,
ZOMBIE BIRD MAN !

I WISH DR. FRANKENSTEIN
HADN'T GROUNDED ME.

SOMEDAY I HOPE
HE'LL LET ME FLY AGAIN.

OH, WELL,
WE CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING.

I SHOULD BE HAPPY
THAT I STILL HAVE MY SICKNESS.

** [ Organ ]

DO YOU REALLY THINK
THAT IT WOULD DARE
COME HERE UNINVITED ?

I DON'T KNOW.
IT IS CAPABLE
OF ANYTHING.

OH, YOU GORGEOUS...

TANTALIZING CREATION !

[ Laughs ]

READY, BABY ?

WELL, HOW DO I LOOK ?
[ Mumbling ]

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT CHIC,
YOU POOR INVENTION
OF A MAN, YOU ?

HERE COME THE LOVEBIRDS.

SPEAK KINDLY TO THEM,
FRANCESCA.

REMEMBER THAT WE ARE ALL
ONE HAPPY FAMILY HERE.

OH, MY DEAR,
YOU LOOK JUST...
GHASTLY.

OH, DOCTOR !
OH, BROTHER !

YOU ARRIVED JUST IN TIME.
OUR GUESTS WILL BE HERE
AT ANY MOMENT.

MY DEAR BARON,
HOW NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

MY DEAR COUNT,
SO GLAD YOU COULD COME.

HOW IS OUR MONSTER
AND HIS CHARMING COMPANION ?

MADAME, I MUST SAY
YOU LOOK THE PICTURE
OF DECADENCE.

DON'T KISS !
YOU ALWAYS LEAVE MARKS !

MY APOLOGIES.

AND OF COURSE, FRANCESCA.

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE ALWAYS
BEEN MY TYPE--

O-NEGATIVE, ISN'T IT ?

[ Door Closes ]

[ Howling, Barking ]

[ Sniffing, Howling ]

AH, WEREWOLF.
DELIGHTED YOU'RE HERE, WERE !

WOLFIE, YOU OLD DOG !
[ Laughs ]

THIS CONVENTION IS GOING
TO BE A HOWLING SUCCESS.

[ Howling ]
SEE, I TOLD YOU !

OUCH !
YOU NEED A MANICURE !

LOOK, HERE COMES
THE INVISIBLE MAN !

HOW CAN YOU TELL ?
HA-HA-HA.

INVISIBLE MAN,
HOW DO YOU DO ?

YOU ARE LOOKING WELL,
I THINK.
[ Chuckling ]

I AM WELL, COUNT.
AND YOU ?

AHA, INVISIBLE MAN !
H-H-HOW DO YOU DO ?

I WONDER HOW HE GOT
HIS INVITATION.

HE HAS AN UNLISTED TOMB !
HA-HA-HA !

DIDN'T I SEE HIM
AT THE TRANSYLVANIA GARDENS
IN THE MAIN EVENT ?

THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME
AIN'T A BOXER.

[ Bride ]
AFRAID IT'LL RUIN HIS LOOKS,
HUH ? HA-HA-HA !

DR. JEKYLL.
GOOD SHOW,
DR. FRANKENSTEIN.

AND WHERE IS MR. HYDE ?

[ Gagging ]

GOOD SHOW,
DR. FRANKENSTEIN.

WHATEVER HE'S DRINKING,
I'LL HAVE IT WITH GINGER.
[ Crunching ]

FANG, DON'T YOU HAVE
ANY COUTH ?

HA-HA-HA.

IT'S ME...
YOUR DON JUAN.

I "DON JUAN"
TO LOOK AT YOU.

I LOVE YOUR EYES,
I LOVE YOUR CHIN,

I LOVE THE SHAPE
THEY PUT YOU IN.

AND WHEN I GET TO FEEL
YOUR TOUCH,

I ACHE FOR YOU
SO VERY MUCH.

THIS CHOPPED LIVER
SMELLS FISHY.

IT'S NOT THE CHOPPED LIVER,
COUNT.

IT'S THE PICKLED SALMON.

YECH !
[ Sniffing ]

[ Chuckling ]

* OH SOLA MIA *

* OH SOLA YOU-A *

* I'M-A THE WORLD'S
BEST-A CHEF *

* YOU BET-A YOU MOOLA **

CHEF MACHIAVELLI,
HOW ARE YOU, MAESTRO ?

HEY, YETCH, WHAT-A
YOU DO-A IN MY KITCHEN ?

YOU-A NO GOOD SNAKE
IN-A THE GRASS.
YOU-A DIRTY SWINE !

YOU-A UGLY RAT !
THANK YOU
FOR THOSE KIND WORDS.

I HOPE I CAN LIVE UP
TO THEM.

THIS-A YETCH--
HE'S A LITTLE BIT OF A NUT.

KEEP-A YOUR HANDS OUT-A
MY SALAD BEFORE I THROW-A YOU
OUT-A MY KITCHEN.

WHAT-A YOU DOING
IN-A HERE ANYWAY, EH ?

DR. FRANKENSTEIN ASKED ME
TO CHECK...

ON HOW THE PREPARATIONS
FOR THE FEAST
WERE PROGRESSING,

AND WHAT THE MENU
WOULD BE.

* FIRST-A WE HAVE-A
THE SALAD-A *

* HERE HAVE A TASTE-A *

MMM, DELICIOUS.
WHAT KIND IS IT ?

IT'S-A MY OWN CHEF'S SALAD-A.

THE MAFIA MACHIAVELLI SPECIAL.

I MAKE-A IT WITH POISON IVY,

TOADSTOOLS AND POISON BERRIES.

OH, IT'S-A GOOD, NO ?

I GOT-A THREE
KINDS-A DRESSINGS
THAT-A GO WITH IT.

ARSENIC, CYANIDE,

AND-A THIS ONE YOU'D GET
A BIG BANG OUT-A, YETCH.

WHAT IS IT ?

NITRO GLYCERINE !

[ Laughing ]
I MAKE-A JOKE, YOU KNOW ?

* THEN WE HAVE THE ANTIPASTO *

BLACK WIDOWS PICKLED
IN THEIR OWN POISON,

SMOKED LIZARDS AND SNAKES
AND MARINATED MICE.

TRY-A SOME.

IT LOOKS SO GOOD.
MMM, YUM-YUM.

HOW DO YOU DO IT ?
IT'S-A NOTHING.

* JUST A PINCH-A THIS
A PINCH-A THAT *

* A PINCH OF THIS
A PINCH OF THAT *

OUCH ! STOP ALREADY
WITH THE PINCHING.

SORRY ABOUT THAT, YETCH.

AND THAT'S THE SOUP.

OCTOPUS SOUP ALA MAFIA.

OCTOPUS SOUP.
YOU MEAN REAL OCTOPUS SOUP ?

WHAT, YOU THINK
I'M-A KIDDING ?
[ Whistles ]

HELP ! HELP !
LET ME DOWN !

SEE ?
THAT'S REAL OCTOPUS SOUP.
[ Whistles ]

MMM, THAT SOUP
IS VERY STRONG.

HURRY UP-A AND GET-A
YOU FINGERS BACK IN-A THE POT.

AND FOR THE MAIN-A COURSE,

I MAKE-A BOARS HEAD,
ROAST-A VULTURE,

AND A MINCE HYENA CASSEROLE.

HERE, YOU GOTTA TRY
THE HYENA CASSEROLE.

IT'S-A TERRIFIC, NO ?

NO, THERE IS
SOMETHING MISSING.
WHAT ?

SOMETHING MISSING ?

THE CASSEROLE
OF-A ME, MAFIA MACHIAVELLI,

THE GREATEST CHEF EVER--
SOMETHING MISSING ?

MAFIA, CALM YOURSELF.
CHEF, PLEASE SIMMER DOWN.

I BUST-A YOU HEAD.
I BROKE-A YOU NOSE.

I SQUEEZE OUT YOUR EYES.

GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN !

I THINK I BETTER TELL
DR. FRANKENSTEIN
THAT DINNER IS READY.

[ Chattering, Laughing ]

AS YOUR LEADER,
I HAVE CALLED YOU FROM
THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH...

TO WITNESS MY GREATEST
AND LATEST DISCOVERY.

I HAVE THE SECRET
TO THE FORMULA...

WHICH CAN COMPLETELY
DESTROY ALL MATTER.

A FEW DROPS
FROM THIS VIAL...

CAN DEMATERIALIZE ANYTHING,

ANYBODY, ANY PLACE !

I'D GIVE MY EYE TEETH...

TO POSSESS THAT SECRET.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, WOLFIE ?

[ Panting ]

[ Thinking ]
I CAN MAKE
THE DOCTOR'S SECRETS MINE...

BEFORE HE BESTOWS THEM
ON THAT... FELIX FLANKEN.

AND I CAN USE DRACULA
TO HELP ME.

BABY, FRANCESCA IS UP
TO SOMETHING WITH THAT DRACULA.

THEY BOTH BEAR WATCHING.

BESIDES, IT'S HER OWN FAULT
FOR THINKING SO LOUD.

I ALSO WISH TO TELL YOU
THAT I AM RESIGNING
AS YOUR LEADER.

[ Everyone Grumbling ]

YES, AND TOMORROW NIGHT...

I SHALL NAME MY SUCCESSOR...

AND TURN OVER ALL MY SECRETS,
INCLUDING MY LATEST, TO HIM.

WHO IS MORE EVIL,
TREACHEROUS OR SNEAKY THAN ME ?

I AM HIS LOGICAL SUCCESSOR.

NOW IF THERE WAS ONLY SOMETHING
I COULD DO TO BE SURE OF THAT.

WHO COULD BE CLOSER
TO DR. FRANKENSTEIN
THAN ME AND FANG ?

WHY, HE CREATED US !

FRANCESCA !
I'LL SEE TO IT THAT
SHE'S NOT HIS SUCCESSOR.

THE NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG.
ENJOY YOURSELVES.

HAVE A FRIGHTFUL TIME,
AND I SHALL SEE YOU ALL
TOMORROW.

WELL, I LEAVE YOU NOW
IN THE CAPABLE HANDS...

OF LITTLE TIBIA
AND THE FIBULAS.

* IT'S THE MUMMY *

* IT'S THE MUMMY *

THEY'RE PLAYING YOUR SONG,
HONEY. LET'S DANCE.

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA.

* IT'S THE MUMMY *

* IT'S THE MUMMY *

* IT'S THE MUMMY *

* IT'S THE MUMMY *

* TURNS TILL HE'S
WOUND UP TIGHT *

* TURNS TILL HE'S LOOSE
THAT'S RIGHT *

* MAD MUMMY DANCE
HE'S IN A TRANCE *

* ALL WRAPPED UP IN HIMSELF
TONIGHT *

* IT'S THE MUMMY *

* IT'S THE MUMMY *

* IT'S THE MUMMY *

* IT'S THE MUMMY *

* TURNS TILL HE'S
WOUND UP TIGHT *

* TURNS TILL HE'S LOOSE
THAT'S RIGHT *

* MAD MUMMY DANCE
HE'S IN A TRANCE *

* ALL WRAPPED UP
IN HIMSELF TONIGHT **

COUNT, PSST.
I MUST TALK TO YOU ALONE...

OUT ON THE BALCONY.

EXCUSE ME, WOLFIE,
BUT I THINK ROMANCE
IS CALLING.

[ Chuckling ]

AH, YES, MY DEAR.

NOW THAT WE ARE ALONE,
WHAT WILL IT BE ?

A QUICK NIP ON THE EAR ?
A PLAYFUL BITE ON THE NECK ?

COUNT, I'M AFRAID
YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING.
NOT NEARLY ENOUGH.

NOT WHAT I LIKE TO DRINK
BEST OF ALL.

COME, LET ME KISS YOU.

WOMEN HAVE DIED FOR ONE
OF MY KISSES.
I'M TERRIFIC !

STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS.
YOU'RE AS BAD
AS THAT ZOMBIE, YETCH.

BESIDES, I'M NOT INTERESTED
IN THAT SORT OF THING.

I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT DR. FRANKENSTEIN'S
SECRETS.

AH, YES ?
I KNOW WHO WILL BE
THE DOCTOR'S SUCCESSOR.

AND WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME
ALL ABOUT THIS ?

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT
THE ONE.
I'M CRUSHED !

NEITHER AM I.

DON'T TELL ME IT'S
THAT FLEA-BITTEN WEREWOLF.
NO.

NOT OLD GAUZE FACE,
THE MUMMY ?
NO.

HMPH, IT'S THAT OVERGROWN GOON,
THE MONSTER.

NO, IT'S NO ONE
YOU KNOW.
THEN WHO ?

[ Chuckles ]
FIRST WE MAKE A DEAL.

IF YOU WILL... GET RID
OF THIS WOULD-BE SUCCESSOR,

THEN AS HIS RIGHTFUL HEIR,

I WILL BE GIVEN
THE DOCTOR'S SECRETS AND
I SHALL SHARE THEM WITH YOU.

WHY OF COURSE.
A HALF A LOAF IS BETTER
THAN TWO IN THE BUSHES.

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

THEN I SHALL GET RID OF YOU
AND HAVE ALL THE SECRETS
TO MYSELF.

THEN IT'S A BARGAIN ?
A BARGAIN.

**

* IT'S OUR TIME
TO SHINE, YEAH *

* OUR TURN IN LINE *

* EVERYBODY GETS ONE CHANCE
IN LIFE *

[ Chorus ]
* ONE CHANCE IN LIFE *

* TO MAKE THEIR DREAMS
COME TRUE *

* I CAN DO IT WITH YOU *

* IT'S OUR TIME
YES, OUR TIME TO SHINE *

* OUR TIME TO SHINE *

* IT'S OUR TIME
TO SHINE, YES *

* A BIT OF WINE *

* WE HAVE DRUNK YOU
LONG ENOUGH, MY FRIEND *
* ENOUGH MY FRIEND *

* AND NOW IT'S TIME
TO PROVE *

* WE CAN MAKE
THE RIGHT MOVE *

* IT'S OUR TIME *

* YES, OUR TIME TO SHINE *
* OUR TIME TO SHINE *

* YOU AND ME
WHAT A PAIR WE'LL MAKE *

* TODAY THE WORLD IS
OURS TO TAKE *

* NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW *

* WE'RE GONNA WIN AND HOW
BECAUSE *

* IT'S OUR TIME TO SHINE
YES *

* OUR TURN IN LINE *

* SPIN THE WHEEL
OUR NUMBER MUST COME UP *

* IT MUST COME UP *

* WE'RE COVERED EVERY WAY
LISTEN, WORLD, WHEN WE SAY *

* IT'S OUR TIME *

* IT'S OUR TIME TO SHINE *
TAKE IT !

[ Tapping ]

* BECAUSE IT'S OUR TIME
TO SHINE, YES *

* OUR TURN IN LINE *

* SPIN THAT WHEEL
OUR NUMBER MUST COME UP *

* IT MUST COME UP *

* WE'RE COVERED EVERY WAY *

* LISTEN, WORLD
WHEN WE SAY *

* OH, IT'S OUR TIME *

* IT'S OUR TIME *

* IT'S OUR TIME TO SHINE **

NOW, TELL ME,
WHO IS THIS SUCCESSOR ?

THE DOCTOR'S NEPHEW,
FELIX FLANKEN.

THIS FLINKEN, FLUNKY,
WHATEVER HE CALLS HIMSELF,

WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER
IS HE ?

A GHOUL ? A DEMON ?
A SPOOK OR--
A HUMAN.

THEY'RE THE WORST KIND !
HE MUST BE DONE AWAY WITH.

[ Francesca ]
THE MONSTER'S MATE !

SHE MUST'VE BEEN HIDING BEHIND
THE DRAPES WHILE WE WERE OUT
ON THE BALCONY.

THEN SHE HEARD EVERYTHING !

EASY NOW, DARLINGS.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ?
I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING.

DO NOT BE AFRAID.
ONE QUICK BITE,
AND IT SHALL ALL BE--

AAAH !
JUST WATCH WHERE YOU GRAB.
REMEMBER, I'M A COUNT.

AHA ! DON'T CUT OUT NOW
JUST WHEN THE TABLES
HAVE TURNED.

WHO SAID THE TABLES
HAVE TURNED ?

[ Screeching ]

STOP ACTING SO IMPETUOUSLY.

YOU'RE WRINKLING MY CAPE.

THIS IS A RENTED TUXEDO !

WELL, THERE IS ONLY ONE THING
TO DO WHEN YOU'RE IN
SUCH A PREDICAMENT. HELP !

HELP !

[ Crashing Sounds ]

WELL, WELL...
AS A MONSTER YOU'RE NOTHING !

BUT AS A FRUIT SALAD--

YOU LOOK A LITTLE
UNCOMFORTABLE OUT OF WATER.

HOPE THIS MAKES
YOU FEEL MORE AT HOME.

[ Yetch ]
YECH ! NO WONDER
YOU'RE INVISIBLE !

YOU'RE UGLY AND REVOLTING
AND DISGUSTING AND--

WHEN I GET HOLD OF
THAT TWO-LEGGED HERRING,

I'LL MAKE HIM
INTO CHOPPED HERRING !

WHAT A FRIGHT.

BEST MONSTER RALLY
I EVER ATTENDED.

OH, LOST YOUR HEAD ?

HERE, WAIT TILL YOU SEE
WHAT YOU'RE MISSING.

AAAH !
YOU SCARED ME.

YOU DOG, YOU !
COME BACK WITH MY BONE !

[ Hiccups ]
PUNCH, ANYONE ?

[ Snoring ]

[ Gurgling ]

I SAY, IT'S RAINING.

[ Snoring ]

IT'S THE CREATURE'S DOING.
I'LL FIX THAT.

[ Gagging ]

[ Snoring ]

[ Howling ]

WHAT ? WHERE ?
WHAT WAS THAT ?

[ Howling ]

HMM, A FULL MOON.
[ Laughs ]

THE POOR DOG,
HE CAN'T HELP IT.

[ Howling ]

[ Howling ]

I'LL NEVER SLEEP TONIGHT.

THAT OUGHT TO DO THE TRICK.

[ Muffled Howling ]

[ Snoring ]

[ Mumbling ]

[ Snoring ]

[ Mutters ]

[ Muttering ]

[ Ship's Whistle Blows ]

GOOD-BYE !
GOOD-BYE, CAPTAIN.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.

I WONDER WHY THE CAPTAIN
WOULDN'T DOCK HIS SHIP.

HE SEEMED NERVOUS
AND ACTED FUNNY
MOST OF THE TRIP.

AND THOSE SAILORS--
BOY, ARE THEY LAZY.

IMAGINE NOT WANTING
TO ROW TO THE ISLAND.

[ Sneezes ]

EVERYONE MUST HAVE HAD HIMSELF
QUITE A TIME LAST NIGHT.

- THERE WAS NOTHING BUT
A HUGE PILE OF LEFTOVERS.
- I WONDER WHO IT WAS.

THIS WILL BE THE BEST CONVENTION
WE'VE EVER HAD.

WITHOUT IT TO SPOIL THE FUN,
WITH MY NEPHEW PRESENT,

THIS WILL TRULY BE
A MOMENTOUS EVENT.

AH, THERE'S MY NEPHEW
IN THAT ROW BOAT.

FELIX ! FELIX, MY BOY !

WAVE, FRANCESCA, WAVE !
MAKE HIM FEEL WELCOME.

UNCLE BORIS !

WELL, HERE I AM.

FELIX !
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

LET ME HELP YOU
GROUND THE BOAT.

PLEASE, UNCLE,
LET ME DO IT MYSELF.

GIVE ME YOUR HAND,
FELIX.

I DON'T KNOW HOW I TRIPPED,
BUT-- OOPS !

I THINK YOU TWO SHOULD GREET
EACH OTHER ON DRY LAND.

[ Laughs ]
THANK YOU, FRANCESCA.

FELIX, FRANCESCA,
MY SECRETARY.

HELLO, AND THANKS
FOR THE HELP IN THE WATER.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
I JUST SLIPPED AND--

LET'S GET INTO SOME
DRY CLOTHES, FELIX.

THEN WE'LL HAVE A CHANCE
TO CHAT AND GET ACQUAINTED.

MY MOTOR LAUNCH IS IN
THE COVE UNDER THOSE ROCKS.

IT'LL TAKE US RIGHT
INTO MY CASTLE.

FELIX, YETCH WILL TAKE YOUR BAGS
AND SEE YOU TO YOUR ROOM.

CHANGE INTO SOME DRY CLOTHES...

AND THEN FRANCESCA WILL
SHOW YOU AROUND THE ISLAND.

WE'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME
TO TALK LATER.

THAT'S FINE WITH ME,
UNCLE BORIS.

I'M ANXIOUS TO LEARN
OF THIS SCIENTIFIC FIRST
YOU WROTE ABOUT.

DID ANYONE SEE YOU
COME HERE ?
NOT AT ALL.

AND WE DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT THE MONSTER
OR HIS MATE FOR A WHILE.

SHE'S STILL RECUPERATING
FROM LAST NIGHT'S
CELEBRATION.

MAY I SAY THAT YOUR
LEFT HOOK IS SENSATIONAL ?

POW, POW.
FORGET LAST NIGHT.

FLANKEN IS HERE.

AND I DON'T THINK
WE'LL HAVE TOO MUCH TROUBLE...

ELIMINATING HIM
AS THE DOCTOR'S SUCCESSOR.

I'M TAKING HIM
ON A PICNIC TOUR
THIS AFTERNOON.

NOW, THIS IS THE WAY
WE'LL BE GOING.

THERE ARE THREE GOOD PLACES
FOR AN AMBUSH.

THE FIRST ONE IS ABOUT--

IT'S NICE OF YOU
TO SHOW ME AROUND LIKE THIS,
FRANCESCA.

THE GROUNDS ARE LOVELY.
SUCH UNUSUAL FLORA AND FAUNA.

YES, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
YOU LIKE IT AND IT LIKES YOU.

[ Howling ]

[ Growling ]

HEY, BOY ! HEY !
HO, THERE, BOY !

OH, NICE FELLA.

ALL RIGHT, GO FETCH, BOY !

[ Howling ]
THERE'S A GOOD BOY.

THAT'S NOT A "GOOD BOY."
THAT WAS A WEREWOLF !
WEREN'T YOU FRIGHTENED ?

FRIGHTENED ? NO !
I'VE GOT A WAY WITH PETS.

[ Francesca ]
YES.

OH, DEAR,
THIS POOR SICK FELLOW
SEEMS TO BE IN TROUBLE.

HIS BANDAGES
ARE FALLING OFF.
MAYBE I CAN HELP.

I WAS TOP MAN IN FIRST AID
IN MY BOY SCOUT TROOP.

THERE YOU ARE.

REMIND ME NEVER TO SPRAIN
MY ANKLE WHEN YOU'RE AROUND.

CALL ME IF YOU WANT
THE DRESSING CHANGED.

[ Buzzing ]
INSECTS !

IT'S A GOOD THING
I CAME PREPARED
WITH MY INSECT REPELLANT.

YECH !

WHY DON'T WE STOP RIGHT HERE
AND HAVE OUR PICNIC
UNDER THIS TREE ?

THAT'S FINE WITH ME.
WHAT KIND OF SANDWICH
WOULD YOU LIKE ?

HAVE YOU GOT A WATERCRESS
ON WHEAT ?

OR BETTER STILL,
A PARSLEY ON PUMPERNICKEL
IS VERY HEALTHY.

RIGHT, UH, WHY DON'T YOU
LOOK IN THE BASKET
AND SEE WHAT YOU LIKE ?

WHAT'S THIS ?

CHEESE !
OH, BUT WITH MAYO.
I DON'T LIKE MAYO.

BUT WHAT'S THIS ?
CHEESE WITHOUT MAYO !

OH, BUT IT'S
ON WHEAT TOAST.

WHAT'S THIS ? NO.

OR THIS--
OH, MAYBE THIS.

NOW, ORDINARILY,
I LIKE CHEESE ON WHEAT
LIKE THIS,

BUT I LIKE IT WRAPPED
IN WAXED PAPER.

I MUST HAVE MY FOOD
ABSOLUTELY SANITARY.

I'M NOT REALLY HUNGRY.
WHY DON'T WE JUST LIE HERE ?

[ Crashing ]

[ Slurring ]
PERMIT ME
TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.

I AM COUNT DRACULA.

RIGHT THIS WAY, FELIX.

YOU CERTAINLY HAVE
AN INTERESTING CASTLE,
UNCLE BORIS.

WHAT'S THIS ? AND THOSE ?

OH, A YOUTHFUL FOLLY.

WILBUR AND ORVILLE SPENT
A HOLIDAY HERE WITH ME.

WILBUR AND ORVILLE WRIGHT ?

WILBUR AND ORVILLE
VON FRANKENSTEIN.

YOUR UNCLES, FELIX.

OH, I DIDN'T KNOW.

WELL, DO YOU FLY THEM,
UNCLE ?
OH, NOT FOR YEARS NOW.

AH, BUT WE DID HAVE GAY TIMES
FRIGHTENING THE CRUISE SHIPS
PASSING THE ISLAND.

[ Chuckles ]
BUT COME THIS WAY.

THIS IS THE LABORATORY WHERE
I'VE SPENT MOST OF MY LIFE...

AND MADE
MOST OF MY DISCOVERIES.

THOSE EXPERIMENTS BROUGHT ME
A GREAT DEAL OF JOY.

BEING A MAN OF SCIENCE,
YOU UNDERSTAND.
OH, OF COURSE.

WELL, YOU SEE, UNCLE,
I'M A PHARMACIST.

AH, THEN YOU MUST HAVE
CONDUCTED EXPERIMENTS
OF YOUR OWN.

OH, YES.

MY FUDGE
QUADRUPLE-MULTIFLAVORED-DECKER
A LA MODE WAS A WILD EXPERIMENT.

MR. KRONKITE TURNED GREEN
AFTER HE ATE IT.

YES, OF COURSE.
[ Clears Throat ]
WELL. HMM.

WELL, AFTER I RETIRE,
YOU'LL HAVE ALL THE TIME
TO EXPERIMENT THAT YOU WANT.

AFTER YOU RETIRE ?
YES, MY BOY.

I'M TURNING OVER TO YOU
MY SECRETS AND DISCOVERIES--
THE ENTIRE BUSINESS !

OH, BUT UNCLE,
I ALREADY HAVE A JOB,

AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.

OH, DON'T WORRY, FELIX.

MY YOUNGER SISTER WAS
YOUR MOTHER.

FRANKENSTEIN BLOOD FLOWS
THROUGH YOUR VEINS.
YOU'LL DO JUST FINE.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW, UNCLE.
JUST WHAT IS YOUR BUSINESS ?

I AM THE HEAD OF THE WORLDWIDE
ORGANIZATION OF MONSTERS.

M-M-M-MONSTERS ?

[ Chuckling Nervously ]
I THOUGHT YOU SAID "MONSTERS."

YES, MONSTERS. YOU KNOW,
[ Chittering ]

WITCHES, WARLOCKS, DEMONS,
GHOULS, ZOMBIES,

CREATURES, VAMPIRES.

MONSTERS.

UNCLE, I MAY HAVE
THE BLOOD FOR THE JOB,

BUT I SURE DON'T HAVE
THE STOMACH FOR IT.

I KNOW, MY BOY,
BUT CONSIDER THIS.

**

* YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD *

* STAY ONE STEP AHEAD *

* TUNE IN
TO WHAT'S HAPPENING, BOY
AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD *

* WHEN THEY TELL YOU
READ PAGE ONE *

* READ THREE MORE
AND YOU'LL FIND *

* THAT THE VERY NEXT DAY
WHEN YOU ARE DONE
THE GROUP IS WAY BEHIND *

* YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD *

* STAY ONE STEP AHEAD *

* TUNE IN
TO WHAT'S HAPPENING, BOY
AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD *

* WHY NOT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF *

* STAY AWAY FROM THE PACK *

* WHEN YOU'RE READY TO FLY
THEY'LL START TO CRY
AND WISH THEY HAD THE KNACK *

* YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD *

* STAY ONE STEP AHEAD *

* TUNE IN
TO WHAT'S HAPPENING, BOY
AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD *

* YOU GOTTA GET UP
FROM THAT BED *

* AND START A LITTLE AHEAD *

* OR SOME OTHER BRIGHT GUY
WILL STEAL THE PIE *

* COME ON, BOY
USE YOUR HEAD *

* YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD *

* STAY ONE STEP AHEAD *

* TUNE IN
TO WHAT'S HAPPENING, BOY
AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD *

* KEEP YOUR HEAD
OUT OF THE SAND *

* PICK THE APPLE THAT'S RIPE *

* OR THE VERY NEXT DAY
IT'S GOING TO FALL *

* IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HAND *

* YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD *

* STAY ONE STEP AHEAD *

* TUNE IN
TO WHAT'S HAPPENING, BOY,
AND STAY ONE STEP AHEAD *

* YOU GOTTA STAY
ONE STEP AHEAD *

* STAY ONE STEP AHEAD *

* TUNE IN
TO WHAT'S HAPPENING, BOY
AND STAY ONE STEP *

* AHEAD **

AH, YES.
I WAS YOUNG ONCE MYSELF.
[ Chuckles ]

I KNOW THERE ARE
MORE GLAMOROUS OCCUPATIONS
IN THE WORLD.

BUT REMEMBER,
THIS IS A FAMILY BUSINESS.

THERE'S A TRADITION
TO UPHOLD.

YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT AT FIRST,
BUT AFTER YOU'VE WORKED AT IT
A WHILE,

I'M SURE YOU'LL GROW
TO LOVE IT AS I HAVE.

REALLY, UNCLE ?
I DON'T WANT TO SEEM
UNGRATEFUL,

BUT I WOULD LIKE
TO THINK IT OVER.

OF COURSE.
I UNDERSTAND.

I JUST WANT YOU TO REMEMBER
THAT, AS HEAD OF THE MONSTERS,
YOU HAVE TREMENDOUS POWER,

AND WITH MY SECRETS,

YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DO THINGS
YOU NEVER DREAMED POSSIBLE.

I'LL REMEMBER.

IS THERE ANY PLACE
ON THE ISLAND
WHERE I CAN FISH ?

I DO MY BEST THINKING
WHEN I'M FISHING.

SURELY !
THE MOAT AROUND THE CASTLE
HAS PLENTY OF FISH.

THINK OVER WHAT I'VE
OFFERED YOU, MY BOY.
THINK IT OVER CAREFULLY.

I'M SURE YOU'LL REACH
THE RIGHT DECISION.

ME-- HEAD OF ALL
THE MONSTERS IN THE WORLD ?

[ Sneezes Violently ]

[ Coughing ]

THREE CHANCES-- THREE !

YOU HAD THREE CHANCES TO GET
FLANKEN, AND YOU BLEW 'EM ALL.

- THE GREAT COUNT DRACULA.
- I'LL GET HIM !

AND BEFORE THIS DAY IS OVER.
DON'T WORRY.

I AM WORRIED.
IF YOU CAN'T CARRY OUT
YOUR END OF THE BARGAIN,

WHY SHOULD I KEEP MINE ?

- I'M SURE
THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS--
- [ Grumbling ] FORGET THAT.

I TOLD YOU I WOULD GET HIM !
AND WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE...

THAT YOU WILL GET
THE DOCTOR'S SECRETS ?

[ Knocking ]
[ Dracula ]
COME IN !

FRANCESCA !
WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE ?

- WE HAD AN APPOINTMENT.
- A DOUBLE-CROSS !

WHAT DID YOU EXPECT--
THE RED CROSS ?
AH-HA-HA !

WHY SHOULD WE SHARE
THE SECRETS WITH YOU ?

IF YOU'RE NOT AROUND,
THE MONSTER WILL GET THEM,

AND WE'LL MAKE MUCH BETTER
PARTNERS FOR DRACULA.

BETTER PARTNERS ?
NOT AROUND ?
WE CAN'T LET HER GO, BABIES.

SHE'LL GO STRAIGHT
TO DR. FRANKENSTEIN !

YOU CAN'T OUTSMART ME.
YOU'LL NEVER GET--

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN ?
SHE ESCAPED !

WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO DO NOW ?

WE MUST STOP HER
BEFORE SHE TELLS THE BARON,

OR HE'LL TURN US
INTO ERECTOR SETS !

THOUGHT THEY COULD
GET RID OF ME, DID THEY ?

THEY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT
THE SECRET PASSAGE.

I'LL SHOW THEM.
I'LL SHOW THE BARON TOO.

THEY ALL BETRAYED ME,
BUT NOW I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE.

[ Squeaking ]

HUH ! UP, MY PETS.

I NEED ONE OF YOU TO FLY
ON A VERY SPECIAL MISSION
FOR ME.

FLY, MY LOVELY.

GO SWIFTLY,
AND TAKE MY MESSAGE.

THEY'LL ALL SOON SEE
THAT I'M NOT
TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY.

GOSH. FELIX FLANKEN,
CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD
OF MONSTERS, INCORPORATED.

I CAN'T DO IT.
I JUST CAN'T DO IT.

I COULD NEVER FACE
THAT BOARD OF DIRECTORS.

I'LL HAVE TO TELL UNCLE BORIS--

WELL, I'LL TELL HIM
THAT MY ALLERGIES PREVENT ME
FROM UNDERTAKING--

[ Gasping ] I MEAN,
ACCEPTING-- THE POSITION.

OH, BUT HE WON'T LIKE IT.

MAYBE I CAN TALK HIM
OUT OF RETIRING.

HONEY, I THINK
YOU'RE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE,
RUNNING OUT LIKE THIS.

WELL, UNTIL YOU GET
A BETTER IDEA.

RIGHT NOW I THINK
I'LL TAKE A COFFIN BREAK.

IF WE STAY TOGETHER,
WE CAN STILL STOP FRANCESCA.

THAT'S IT !
WHY DON'T WE GO DOWN
THE TRAPDOOR ?

MAYBE SHE'S STILL
AT THE OTHER END.

THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA,

IF I KNEW WHAT WAS AT
THE OTHER END OF THAT TRAPDOOR.

YOU'LL FIND OUT IN A MINUTE.

FANG, SEE TO IT THAT
THE COUNT ENJOYS HIS TRIP.

AH-HA-HA-HA-HA !

NOW, JUST A SECOND, I--
REMEMBER... I'M A COU--

IF I COULD ONLY FIND
THE DOCTOR'S FORMULA
FOR DESTROYING MATTER,

I CAN RULE ALL THE OTHERS.

[ Thudding ]

- WHAT--
- WE MEET AGAIN, FRANCESCA.

I THOUGHT IT RATHER RUDE OF YOU
TO LEAVE US
WITHOUT SAYING GOOD-BYE.

- DON'T ANY OF YOU COME NEAR ME.
- STOP BEHAVING LIKE
THE STATUE OF LIBERTY !

PUT THAT TORCH DOWN.
YES, WE CAN STILL
MAKE A DEAL.

MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU ?

NOT AS LONG AS I'VE GOT
WOLFSBANE FOR YOU, VAMPIRE,

AND A TORCH FOR YOU, MONSTER.

OR IS IT A TORCH FOR A VAMPIRE
AND WOLFSBANE FOR A MONSTER ?
OR WOLFSBANE FOR A WEREWOLF...

AND A TORCH FOR A VAMPIRE ?

NO, IT'S A STAKE THROUGH
THE HEART FOR A VAMPIRE AND
A SILVER BULLET FOR A MONSTER--

I'LL TAKE THE TORCH.
YOU GET THE WOLFSBANE.

[ Howls In Pain ]
I TOLD YOU
YOU'D NEVER GET ME.

BUT ALL OF YOU WILL SOON
BE GETTING YOURS.

[ Splashing ]

CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT,
YOU BUTTERFINGERS ?
YOU LET HER GET AWAY !

[ Metallic Clank ]
[ Moaning ]

THAT SMARTS !

I WOULDN'T WORRY TOO MUCH
ABOUT HER.

THE CROCODILES IN THE LAGOON
SHOULD FINISH OUR JOB.

AH-HA-HA, HA-HA-HA !

[ Screeching ]

YOU-- FELIX.
F-F-FRANCESCA !

FLANKEN HAS JUST RESCUED
FRANCESCA FROM THE MOAT !

THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE GONNA DO
THE BALLET FROM "SWAMP LAKE."

AH-HA-HA-HA-HA,
HA-AH !

I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE
FINISHED PACKING MY COFFIN.

DON'T PANIC AGAIN, BABIES.

LET'S CALL ALL THE MONSTERS
TOGETHER...

AND HAVE THEM HELP US
GET FRANCESCA...

AND THIS, UH-- THIS FLANKEN !

[ Sobbing ]
EVERYTHING WAS FINE
UNTIL YOU CAME TO THIS ISLAND.

NOW YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING,
AND I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU,
I HATE YOU !

[ Sobbing ]
FRANCESCA, I'M SORRY.
I DIDN'T KNOW.

F-F-FRANCESCA. FRANCESCA.

OH, IT'S SHOCK.
YOU'RE HYSTERICAL !
CALM DOWN.

[ Continues Sobbing ]
I HATE TO DO THIS.

OOH !
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.

- OH, FELIX.
- YOU'RE NOT MAD ?

[ Passionately ]
OH, FELIX.

I THINK YOU'RE
STILL HYSTERICAL !

OH, FELIX, YOU'RE WONDERFUL.

I'VE BEEN SUCH A FOOL.

** [ Romantic Music Swells ]

FRANCESCA, DOES YOUR HEAD
FEEL LIGHTER THAN AIR ?
YES.

DOES YOUR THROAT FEEL
PARCHED,

AND DO YOU SORT OF
TINGLE ALL OVER ?
OH, YES. YES, FELIX.

THEN YOU MUST HAVE...

ALLERGIES TOO.

HERE, TRY SOME OF MY PILLS.
OH, FELIX, DARLING.

**

* THERE NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE FOR YOU *

* NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE *

* ALL THE OTHER GIRLS
YOU MAY HAVE MET *

* NEVER GAVE YOU LOVE
YOU'RE GONNA GET *

* THERE NEVER WAS A TORCH
THAT BURNED SO BLUE *

* NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE *

* FOR YOU *

* THERE NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE FOR YOU *

* NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE *

* ALL THE LOVE
YOU MAY HAVE READ ABOUT *

* HONEY, YOU CAN JUST
FORGET ABOUT *

* THERE NEVER WAS
A SCREEN ROMANCE FOR TWO *

* NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE *

* FOR YOU *

* TELL ME A THOUSAND TIMES
EACH DAY *

* YOU'VE NEVER BEEN LOVED
THIS WAY *

* SWEAR TO ME
YOU'LL NEVER ROAM, DEAR *

* PROMISE ME
YOU'LL STAY AT HOME, DEAR *

* THERE NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE FOR YOU *

* NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE *

* LITTLE CUPIDS
WITH THEIR BOWS AND SUCH *

* NEVER SHOT AN ARROW
THAT MEANT MUCH *

* TO ANY LITTLE LOVE
FOR ANY TWO *

* NEVER WAS A LOVE
LIKE MINE *

* FOR YOU *

* NEVER WAS A LOVE *

* LIKE MINE *

* FOR YOU *

* BABY, FOR YOU *

* YEAH **

[ Smooching ]

FELIX, DARLING, WE'VE GOT TO GET
OFF THIS ISLAND IN A HURRY.
WHY ? WHAT'S THE MATTER ?

DRACULA AND THE MONSTER ARE OUT
TO GET YOU AND ME BECAUSE YOUR
UNCLE WANTS YOU TO SUCCEED HIM.

WELL,
I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT,

AND I JUST CAN'T DO IT,

WHETHER MY UNCLE LIKES IT
OR NOT.

I'LL JUST TELL THEM THAT.

THEY WON'T LISTEN TO YOU
OR YOUR UNCLE NOW.

THEY'VE ALREADY GONE TOO FAR.

BESIDES, SOMETHING MUCH MORE
HORRIBLE AND DEADLY WILL BE
THREATENING THIS ISLAND SOON.

WHAT ?
NEVER MIND.
WE'VE GOT TO LEAVE HERE NOW.

WITHOUT EVEN SAYING GOOD-BYE
TO ANYONE ?

FELIX, I'VE A BOAT HIDDEN
AT THE OTHER END OF THE ISLAND
TO HELP US ESCAPE.

YOU MUST COME NOW.
OH, WHAT HAVE I DONE ?

AND SO I SAY,
BROTHER MONSTERS,

UNLESS WE CAN STOP
FELIX FLANKEN...

FROM SUCCEEDING THE BARON,

THEN OUR ORGANIZATION
IS DOOMED !

YES, YETCH.
POINT OF INFORMATION.

WHY DON'T WE JUST GO
TO BARON VON FRANKENSTEIN...

AND TELL HIM HOW WE FEEL ?

OUT OF ORDER !

NOW, ARE WE GOING TO LET
THIS OUTSIDER--

THIS HUMAN--
PUSH US AROUND ?

OR ARE WE GOING TO LOOK OUT
FOR OUR OWN GOOD...

AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT ?

I SAY WE GO GET
FLANKEN AND FRANCESCA !

ALL IN FAVOR OF THAT MOTION,
SAY "GROWL,"

"UGH," "YEAH" OR WHATEVER.
[ Howling, Growling ]

ALL OPPOSED, SAY--
[ Blows Raspberry ]

[ Blows Raspberry ]

THE MOTION IS PASSED
UNANIMOUSLY.

WAIT A MINUTE, COUNT !
POINT OF ORDER !

POINT OF INFORMATION !
POINT OF IMPORTANCE !

SPEAK UP AND STOP POINTING.

I CANNOT ALLOW US TO DO THIS
TO BARON VON FRANKENSTEIN.

WE MUST REMAIN LOYAL TO HIM.

HE WAS ALWAYS AROUND
WHEN WE NEEDED HIM.

NOW, WHEN HE NEEDS US--

HE WAS AROUND
WHEN YOU NEEDED HIM ?

WHEN YOU NEEDED A GIRLFRIEND,
AND HE JUST MADE ONE,
DID HE GIVE IT TO YOU ?

WELL, NO, BUT--
AND WHAT ABOUT FRANCESCA ?

HE COULD HAVE GIVEN HER TO YOU,
BUT DID HE ?
[ Mutters ]

NO, HE KEPT HER FOR HIMSELF--

HIMSELF, YETCH--

WHEN WE ALL KNEW
SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOURS.

YOU DESERVED HER, YETCH,

BUT SHE IS HIS--
HIS, NOT YOURS.

I-- I WANT TO TAKE MY
[ Blows Raspberry ]
BACK.

ALL RIGHT, BABIES,
IT'S "UMANINUMOUS."

"UNIE-MOUSE."
"UNIE-NOONIE." "UMIE-NANNY."

IT'S A HUNDRED PERCENT.
LET'S GO.

THEY WENT INTO THE JUNGLE.
FOLLOW ME.
[ Roaring, Growling ]

[ Gasping ]

LET'S STOP FOR A MINUTE.
I HAVE TO CATCH MY BREATH.

I'M PRETTY TIRED MYSELF,
BUT I DON'T THINK ANYONE
IS FOLLOWING US YET.

THEY'LL BE CATCHING UP
WITH US SOON ENOUGH.

OH, IF MR. KRONKITE
COULD SEE ME NOW,
I WONDER WHAT HE'D SAY.

[ Sneezing ]

[ Coughing ]

[ Hiccupping ]

[ Screams ]
FELIX ! HELP ME !

MAYBE IT LIKES PILLS.
[ Screeching ]

NOW TO GET YOU LOOSE.

HURRY,
IT'S GETTING TIGHTER !

OH, I'M FREE.

FELIX,
YOU SAVED MY LIFE AGAIN.

OH, DON'T THANK ME.
THANK MY PILLS.

DON'T THANK MY PILLS.
THANK ME.

WE BETTER START MOVING AGAIN.
TIME IS RUNNING AGAINST US.

[ Gasping ]
HOW MUCH FURTHER...

DO WE HAVE TO GO BEFORE WE
GET OUT OF THIS JUNGLE ?

MAYBE ANOTHER HOUR OR SO.
[ Howling ]

IT'S THE WEREWOLF.
THEY'VE PICKED UP OUR TRAIL.
WE CAN'T REST HERE ANY LONGER.

[ Panting ]

I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER STEP.
I MUST REST.

I WASN'T MADE
FOR THIS KIND OF ACTIVITY.

[ Panting ]

GO ON WITHOUT ME, FELIX.
JUST LEAVE ME SOMETHING TO READ.

THERE'S A BOAT
WITH PROVISIONS IN IT HIDDEN
NEAR THE EDGE OF THE BEACH.

I'M NOT LEAVING YOU.

I'LL CARRY YOU
OUT OF THE JUNGLE.

[ Grunting ]
SAY, YOU'RE HEAVIER
THAN I THOUGHT.

I WANTED YOU TO KNOW
I'M NO EASY PICKUP.

MAYBE I COULD MAKE A SLING
OUT OF SOME VINES.

THAT WAY I'LL BE ABLE
TO MOVE YOU.
GROOVY, BUT HURRY, WILL YA ?

DON'T GO AWAY NOW.

[ Howling, Snarling ]

PUT HER DOWN,
YOU DIRTY DOG !
[ Snarls ]

SAY, BITING'S NOT FAIR.
PUT UP YOUR FISTS,
AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN.

ATTACK ! KILL ! MAIM !

DECAPITATE !

GET AWAY, FELIX !
RUN TO THE BOAT !

SAVE YOURSELF !
[ Howling ]

COWARD ! RUNNING AWAY JUST AS
I WAS ABOUT TO THRASH YOU
WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE !

HOW DO YOU DO ?

HIYA, FELLAS.

** [ Whistles ]
NICE DAY, ISN'T IT ?

YOU ARE NOW OUR PRISONER.

[ Sneezes Violently ]

BLESS YOU.
THANK YOU.
IT'S AN ALLERGY.

[ Coughing, Hiccupping ]

- YOU HAVE IT !
- HAVE WHAT ?

THE BARON'S SECRET FORMULA
THAT CAN DESTROY MATTER !

I DO ?
OH, I DO ! I DO !

DO NOT POINT THAT VIAL
AT ME !

OH, SO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS
VILE, VILE VIAL, HUH ?

WELL, GOOD.

THEN YOU KNOW WHAT WILL
HAPPEN IF I DROP IT.

TAKE ME TO FRANCESCA.
MOVE !

OR I'LL LET YOU HAVE IT !

AHA ! FROZEN WITH FEAR,
ARE YOU ?

YOU DIDN'T REALIZE
THAT RAPIER-KEEN,
SILKEN-SMOOTH FELIX FLANKEN...

COULD BE SO ROUGH AND TOUGH
AND HARD AND STRONG...

AND MANLY AND VIRILE
AND--

AND WEAK... TIMID...

AND PETRIFIED AND--
[ Chuckles ]

HI-HO, THERE !
MAY I GET YOU A BANANA ?

[ Roaring ]

OH, MONSTERS, BEASTS--

FRANCESCA-- FRANCESCA !
MUST SAVE FRANCESCA !

[ Roaring ]

[ Growls Gently ]

[ Roars ]

[ Continues Roaring ]

YOU WERE A FOOL
TO HAVE IGNORED ME...

AND TO HAVE GONE
WITH THAT FLANKEN !

NOW, AT LONG LAST,
YOU ARE MINE, FRANCESCA !

YETCH, YOU WRETCH,
DON'T TOUCH ME !

TOUCH YOU ?
[ Chuckles ]

AT LONG LAST,
I AM GOING TO KISS YOU !

OY VEY !
THAT FRANCESCA'S SOMETHING !

SHE CAN FLY ME TO THE MOON
WITH HER KISSES !

[ Panting ]
MUST... GET TO FRANCESCA.

MUST... SAVE HER !

[ Roaring ]
HELP !
[ Screams ]

[ Continues Screaming ]

OHH ! OH ! OH !

[ Roaring ]
[ Screaming ]

TOO LATE ! TOO LATE.

I'VE FAILED.
WHAT CAN I DO ?

THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.

I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER.

I'LL KILL MYSELF !

NO, FELIX, WAIT, WAIT !
DON'T KILL YOURSELF.
WHO'S GONNA KILL MYSELF ?

I ONLY SAID THAT
BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK
ANYONE COULD HEAR ME.

BUT WHAT WILL WE DO, UNCLE ?
I'LL SAVE FRANCESCA.

YOU GO BACK AND WAIT
FOR HER IN THE BOAT.
I HAVE A PLAN.

BUT--
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO.
TRUST ME. GO !

CAN I ASK YOU ONE THING ?
YES, NEPHEW ?

YOU KNOW A SHORTCUT ?

I'M TIRED OF HACKING
AND CHOPPING.

[ Growling ]

YECH !
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ?

PRAY HE DOESN'T START
BEATING HIS CHEST.

YOU-- WHY DON'T YOU
DO SOMETHING ?

YOU'RE GOING
TO DO SOMETHING ?

WHAT ? WHAT ?
WHAT-WHAT-WHAT ?

[ Groans, Sobs ]

YOU'RE CRYING ?
THAT'S NOT ENOUGH.

OH, THANK BADNESS.
FELIX IS ESCAPING.

ONE THING IS FOR SURE:

IF I EVER GET
OUT OF THIS MESS ALIVE,

I'LL NEVER HACK AND CHOP
IN A JUNGLE AGAIN !

[ Engine Roaring ]

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, YOU.
PUT HER DOWN !

IT'S ME YOU WANT.

COME ON, FRANCESCA !
COME ON !

WHERE ARE YOU ?
FRANCESCA !

YOU CALLED ?

QUICK, FELIX.
START THE ENGINE.

WE'VE GOT TO GET
AWAY FROM HERE.
B-BUT MY UNCLE--

WHAT OF HIM ?
IT'S TOO LATE.
NO ONE CAN HELP HIM NOW.

QUICKLY, DARLING,
MY BELOVED, MY SWEET,

BUG OUT !

YES, ALL RIGHT.

AND NOW YOU,
YOU OVERGROWN CHIMPANZEE.

YOU'VE CAUSED ME ANGUISH
FOR THE VERY LAST TIME.

AND ALL OF YOU, WITH YOUR
JEALOUSIES AND YOUR HATES.

YOU WANTED MY VIAL.
YOU'D KILL MY NEPHEW FOR IT.

WELL, NOW YOU SHALL SEE
THAT BARON VON FRANKENSTEIN...

IS NOT ONE TO CROSS.

TRUE, YOU WON'T SEE IT
FOR TOO LONG A TIME.

BUT FOR ONE SECOND--
[ Chuckles ]
OH, BOY !

I KNOW IT'S WRONG,
BUT I HAVE THIS TREMENDOUS URGE
TO SING "AULD LANG SYNE."

DID YOU CLOSE THE WINDOWS
IN YOUR ROOM ?

WELL, IT'S ALL OVER,
MY DARLING.
WE'RE GOING HOME NOW.

MY PLACE ISN'T MUCH--
TWO SMALL ROOMS,

A FURNISHED MEDICINE CABINET.

BUT WE'LL BE MARRIED.

AND SOON THERE'LL BE THE SOUND
OF TINY FLANKENS RUNNING AROUND.

OH, FELIX !
[ Sobs ]

WH-WH-WHAT IS IT ?

WHAT HAVE I SAID ?
WE'LL GET A BIGGER PLACE.

I'LL GIVE UP SNEEZING.
WHAT IS IT ?

OH, FELIX,
I CAN NEVER MARRY YOU.

YOU CAN'T ?
YOU DON'T LOVE ME ?

YES, I DO.
I DO LOVE YOU, AND THAT'S
WHY I WON'T MARRY YOU.

WELL, FRANCESCA,
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

I CAN'T KEEP ON DATING YOU
IN JUNGLES.

NO, FELIX. THERE'S
SOMETHING I MUST TELL YOU.

HAVEN'T YOU WONDERED
WHY I WAS ON THAT ISLAND ?

YOU SEE, I'M NOT
A HUMAN BEING LIKE YOU ARE.

I WAS CREATED BY FRANKENSTEIN
AFTER THE MONSTER AND HIS MATE.

I WAS HIS MASTERPIECE.

BUT WHERE OTHER WOMEN HAVE
A HEART, I HAVE A SPRING
THAT WILL UNWIND.

WHERE OTHER WOMEN HAVE LUNGS,

I'VE GOT A PUMP THAT RUNS
ON BATTERIES WHICH WILL RUN OUT.

WHERE OTHER WOMEN HAVE
ELBOWS AND KNEES,

I HAVE METALLIC JOINTS
THAT WILL ONE DAY
GROW RUSTY AND STIFFEN.

I'M JUST A MACHINE WITH
HUNDREDS OF PARTS THAT WILL
EVENTUALLY WEAR OUT.

WELL, FRANCESCA--
[ Sneezes Violently ]

WELL, FRANCESCA,
NONE OF US ARE PERFECT--
[ Clicking ]

ARE PERFECT-- [ Clicking ]
ARE PERFECT-- [ Clicking ]
ARE PERFECT-- [ Clicking ]

[ Continues ]