Mad Mission Part 2: Aces Go Places (1983) - full transcript
Black Gloves (Joe Dimmick), a European Assassin, is seeking to avenge his brother White Gloves' death against reformed criminal King Kong (Samuel Hui) and Detective Albert "Baldy" Au (Karl Maka). While evading Black Gloves, the duo are framed for robberies by Hong Kong Mafia members, who have their own plans against King Kong and Baldy. The duo is forced to deal with the Mafia's motor bike gangsters and Black Glove's weaponry-laden robot.
Wrong number!
I'll kill you.
Come on!
Come on!
The un.O.
Had its 17000th meeting tonight
on global security, the
meeting was a deadlock.
Latest news: Macau launched
her first rocket today
finally...
Bye bye.
Right, you don't have to believe in god,
but you must believe in my intelligence.
With this, I've made my friend
Nixon such a world famous superstar
that's the jerk, waste him now!
That makes him more famous.
Don't you ever mention Watergate
in front of me again!
Don't you tell anybody
that I'm the killers' agent now!
Well, you got someone that thinks
dirty and fights dirty?
Oh boy, he's more than dirty, he's filthy!
Who?
The bad guys call him Harry
and the good guys call him filthy Harry.
Filthy Harry!
Have we met somewhere before?
Yeah, in hell!
Harry, the godfather in Italy
offers you a contract,
he wants you to go to h.K. To
make a deal with this punk here
and by the way,
get rid of these 2 creeps, will you?
Why?
Because the godfather doesn't like them.
I didn't ask you. Get lost!
Yeah, listen to him. Get lost!
Get rid of him, I don't like him.
Neithor do I.
Well okay?
What's okay?
Did you get him?
No, he ran too fast.
Help, help!
Over there!
That's it.
Look behind you, some goodies!
You're so sneaky!
So malicious!
Is that all? Only four of you?
Come on... hurry up...!
Excuse us! You have guts,
we'll never do it again!
What are you doing?
Nothing, I'm short-sighted,
wanna see you clearly.
Where are the bad guys?
I'm lucky to have met you, where are they?
I've sent them running!
Come closer and see for yourself!
My name's king Kong, and yours?
I'm juju.
Come closer and keep on looking.
Oh no, I've got to go now.
So soon!
My brother says, when a guy meets a gal,
and they're alone, strange things happen,
I wouldn't dare!
But I would!
Gosh, I've got to get
some money from the bank.
What if I run into the baddies again?
Don't worry, I'll go with you.
Hang on while I get changed.
Let's go!
You're just terrific!
Please!
This way!
I have something for you.
This is ordered by you.
Well,
do you like it?
Sure!
Please wrap it up.
How do you want it?
Large bills please.
What's the matter?
I'm a bit scarred.
Don't be. I'll take care of the bad guys.
You're really terrific!
Oh really?
Miss!
Why don't you give her the money?
Hurry up, we're going to a movie.
I'll take care of them for you.
Hurry up or else my partner might get mad.
There's no more.
Bye-bye!
Have you got the money?
All of it. Let's go!
Okay!
What? There's a robbery?
Yes, and you did it.
The one in the white suit,
he's got a gun with him.
Don't move!
Spare me. I've got a wife and mother.
Where?
In India.
Give me the gun and I'll give you this.
Whatever you say.
Bye-bye!
Bye, Sonny, thanks!
Over there!
The man in front is the robber!
Who. .?
He's right in front of us... get him!
The one in the white suit!
Can I use your bike?
Stop, don't run!
Excuse me!
You never look after our little girl!
Don't let him get away!
Bye-bye!
Don't move!
What's going on?
Stop!
Sorry!
Don't move!
Herel
Don't do that, sir!
I didn't see anything.
Thanks for your co-operation!
He's the one. Get him! Don't run!
Stop him!
Don't run!
I'm ss 0 rry!
You go ahead, don't mind me...
Break in through the door!
- Who's he?
- Don't know!
Break the door down!
Don't move!
Bye-bye!
What's the matter, pal?
What's?
You've ruined it all.
I tried to kill myself
but your truck got in the way,
wee what you did to my suit
and I'm not even dead!
Move the truck away, I'm going to try again
sorry! Sorry!
Albert!
You sonofabitch, why are you so late?
Quiet please, you're in the church.
I'm sorry! Sorry...!
You're wearing mighty mouse's costume.
Why so late?
I'm in trouble, I was set up!
Mr. Albert au, miss Nancy ho,
that love between husband
and wife is sacred.
Marrage is great responsibility.
It should be mutual and lasting.
What a load of bullshit?
You bet!
Albert, pay attention!
Okay, you can carry on!
Mr. Albert au,
will you take miss Nancy ho as you wife?
Will you or won't you?
Hold on, what did you say?
I asked you whether
you're going to help me.
Well, will you or won't you?
Of course not!
What did you say?
It's got nothing to do with me.
Sir, that guy up there robbed the bank.
I'm in trouble, I've got to go now.
Really?
Sorry - yes!
We've chased you here,
bye, I'm off!
Get him, don't let him get away!
Darling, please!
Let's talk about how to
help king Kong out...
Baldy, come over here!
To our room? Coming...!
No way.
If you wanna marry me,
make sure that between you and me,
king Kong would have to get lost!
He's not just a pal, he's
like a brother to me!
Which is more important:
Your wife or brother?
It's different, a brother is part of you.
What about a wife?
She's like chicken congee.
What?
You never heard that before?
It goes like this:
Wifey is like chicken congee,
much nicey before eating
too much eating
becomes plain congee.
What plain congee?
Tasteless and boring!
Who taught you this?
King Kong of course!
That's a bit much. And
disrupting our wedding too!
I'll shoot him
on sight.
Yes, I'll do that when I see him.
Where are you going?
To take a shower!
"Ebony & ivory,
live together in perfect Harmony..."
What's the matter?
You're done! Nancy said
she'll shoot you on sight.
Why?
I told her the chicken congee story.
You really got me into trouble this time!
Why are you yelling?
I'm singing, "jingle bells...!"
Sing "ebony and lvory!"
"Ebony & ivory,
live together in perfect Harmony..."
What are you doing?
I'm talking my shower.
With your clothes on?
Yeah, I wanna clean them too.
What's that in your hands?
One of the holes is stnck.
Go out. You make me feel embarrassed.
She's gone out,
get dressed and go.
What song did I sing?
"Jungle bells!"
No, should be "ebony and lvory!"
Yeah, "ebony and lvory!"
What are you doing?
Combing my hair, of course!
I lost so much hair recently, let's go!
Who went in?
Me of course.
What are you doing in there?
Taking a shower.
You can't do that!
Why not? You can do it, so why can't I?
Don't take off you clothes!
You kidding? How can I take
a shower with my clothes on?
Oh my god! King Kong,
close your eyes!
What are you doing now?
Taking off my clothes!
Oh no, king Kong will see everything!
Were you peeped by king Kong?
How do you know?
I told him to hide inside.
Let him take a look, draling!
How can you do that? I'm your wife!
True, you're for my eyes only.
Were you undressed?
Of course, I took of 2 buttons!
One, two, oh no!
King Kong, you sonofabitch, come out!
What have you got to say for yourself?
Don't get mad, I didn't see anything!
I closed my eyes!
She took off 3 buttons,
so you saw everything!
Not so many, only 2!
How do you know?
I saw it with my own eyes.
I think that's the end of our friendship.
I mean 2 sleeve buttons only!
Even worse.
The most attractive part of my wife's body
is her pair of hands,
and you saw it all! A duel!
What are you going to use?
Me? A gun of course!
Come on, I'll fire if you dare move.
I hate men in skirts anyway!
So you're bound to win?
Of course!
Baldy, it's not fair.
I can't help it!
It's not fair for me to marry you,
it't not fair to leave king Kong helpness!
What's he to you
that you're helping him?
What did I say wrong?
How dare you say such a thing?
He told me to.
It's my fault!
It's my fault that. Baldy
has become so cheeky.
I stopped your wonderful wedding,
I should bear all the responsibilities
it's my fault that you're fighting.
I'm leaving!
If you have time,
do drop by the prision to say hello.
Wait a minute, I'm going with you.
A friend in need is a friend indeen.
If I don't help you, who will?
Let's go!
Stop, come back!
How can you make it without my help?
To find out who set king Kong up,
we have to find squealie.
That informer?
How do you know he'd be here?
He comes here every night.
So many cars here, how do we start?
Don't worry, wher I shout, he'll come out.
Squealie!
What's going on?
Don't run away!
Stay where you are!
Okay...!
What are you looking at?
Okay, I'll give you all
the information you need.
What information?
3 clue,
1 genuine, 1 false, 1 complimentary.
Go ahead!
Some jerk
was set up by a girl, that's genuine.
What a great way to be set up!
What else have you got?
The second one is false.
You're supposed to marry baide,
but everything's mossed up.
Now everybody is saying that
nobody is marrying you.
Shut up, you didn't even
turn up at my wedding.
And no wedding present other!
That's why the third on is complimentary.
What's complimentary?
Gossip! After all, that's my business.
Go on, I love gossip.
Who is it about?
You of course!
Actually, baldy is real playboy.
He fooled around a lot in the states.
Once he even went with a black girl!
You sonofabitch, that's a lie!
I have evidence, look at this photo.
Baldy!
You wanna sneak off. I
come here, explain yourself.
I'm busy!
Are you coming?
Yes, right away, I'll explain.
Here I am.. I
who masterminded the robbery?
Who are you?
I'm the dumb jerk!
Since you're so frank, I'll tell you.
It's a fast growing, local gang,
headed by a brother and a sister
known as bull and juju.
Where do they live?
That doesn't work!
Of course, yours never do.
So what shall we do?
We have to beat about the
bush, the surround them.
I'll be ready at the door.
While you break in through the window.
When everybody's attentionis on you.
I'll break in through the door.
This way, we'll get them all!
Smart guy!
In 3 minutes time,
we'll start.
This is for real!
Over there!
1st floor! 2nd floor!
3rd floor! 4th floor! 5th floor!
Right!
Coming!
Don't mover!
Are you Bonnie and Clyde!
60 years age, we were!
Then what are you doing on the 5th floor?
This is the 6th floor!
How come?
10 seconds too late, I'll lake a chance!
Don't move!
Drop your guns!
Where's your boss?
Tell him to come out right away!
Where have you been?
The rope wasn't long enough,
ended on the 6th floor!
Gosh, can't you be more...
Who is she?
The one who set me up for the bank job!
King Kong, I'm sorry,
my brother forced me to.
I knew it!
Don't take this, it's poisonous!
Keep your hands off!
Have you two had enough fun?
If so, please sit down and let's talk!
Ho asked us to sit down,
that's a good start!
I have nothing against you,
why did you set me up?
Don't get me worng,
I just wanna be riends with you.
And work with you on a deal!
What deal?
It's simple!
I'm going to buy some diamnonds
from an American group.
And I'd like you two to
negotiate with them.
That's legal enough, why do you need us?
Because there's a small problem.
What sort of problem
the money we're going
to use is counterfeit!
That means we'll be doomed?
That's the problem!
No problem, whom do we deal with?
Black gloves!
That's a problem!
Why?
The problem is they don't know me!
Who are you?
I'm the internationally
acclaimed sleuth baldy!
I'll give you 3 minutes
to disarm yourselves,
and be arrested, or else...!
Or else what...?
Or else nothing?
Sit down!
Don't push him too far!
Go away!
Don't touch her, or else...
Or else what?
Or else nothing!
Sit down!
Will you take up this job?
Not!
Yes
yes
no way!
No why...!
How can that be...?
We're back again!
Have you made up your mind?
Yes
Let me do it!
Herel
get in, they're approaching!
You drive.
Why should I get into your car?
Look!
They're over there, hurry!
Stop! Don't stay right there.
I have an interesting question for you.
Why is your brother Chinese
and you eurasian?
Same father, different mothers?
Or same mother, different fathers?
Answer me!
Don't spoil the atmosphere!
From your eyes,
I can tell you're a baddie.
Let me take a look.
Don't touch her!
One eye is good and the other isn't.
What pertume do you use?
Smells good though.
She didn't use any, that's
me you're smelling.
I like your lipsticks, taste good?
Let me taste it.
She won't let me.
Go away, get the car going!
You're the driver, not me.
How's that...?
Server you right!
The loot is kept in my uncle's place.
He owns this jewellery shop.
Welcome! Can I help you?
Police! I'd like to see your boss.
He's upstairs. What's the matter?
It's like this...
You know why she likes me?
May be that's for show.
She probably fancies me.
Mr. wong, this is the
well known sleuth baldy
show him your ID!
Come on, show it to him!
That's international, and this is local.
Just to reassure you, this is my gun.
Would you please come up with me?
Wait here, I'll go get the boss.
Okay!
You wait for me here.
My uncle has a weak heart,
he's afraid of the cops.
Me too. It's all because of him!
Come on in!
You better be quick!
I will.
Let's go!
Go away!
Take care!
Did you see her making eyes at me!
You better be careful,
she can set you up again.
I don't mind being set up
if she's like this to me!
My uncle said he'd like to
give it to you in person.
Me first. I look more trustworthy!
Go on in!
Look!
Help!
Let's run!
What's the matter?
Keep calm!
What are you looking at?
We're the cops, you think we did it!
Of course!
Stop looking at me or I'll get you!
Will you stop that? I'm
really going to get youl!
I'm not joking. Let's go!
You know you have no right
to even look at me?
You look at me again?
I'll take you downtown!
If you do that again. I'll get you!
Herel
look!
Baldy, you're trapped.
She did the robbery!
Don't run!
- Help!
- Let's go!
Stand still!
Stop, don't let him run away!
Are you right?
I'm out of breath already!
Okay, I'll give you a lift!
Get in!
Keep it up! Careful you don't fail!
Over here!
Hurry, no time for passing now!
I was catching my breath!
We've nowhere to go!
There. I
saw it? No!
Over there!
Doesn't work.
You'll be seen, climb the wall!
Climb the wall!
How now. .?
What are you doing?
Stand on the wooden plank
and I'll jump down
from the ladder
and spring you over the wall!
That's right
you sonofabitch, you kidding me.
You stand on the plank and I'll jump!
Okay, let's do that!
Don't you try to fool me.
I'm not dumb. I'll fall and hurt myself!
You think I'm a circus clown?
Are you okay?
Okay, go ahead!
What shall I do?
Use your brains!
I haven't got any!
Use your feet then!
I really have to this time.
Yes sir!
7997! Yes sir!
376! Yes sir!
Excuse me please!
Help! Get him!
Help! Get him! Don't run!
Don't run! Stand still!
Don't move or I'll fire!
Over there... hurry up, here!
Don't go away! Get him!
What's the matter, sieuth?
I'm done. Someone wants to kill me!
How dare he do this in the station?
He's even got a gun!
We should call the police then. Dial 999l
what shall we do now?
What's the matter?
The robber went inside.
Go got him! Who're you waiting for?
The door's locked!
Don't move. .!
Kneel down, sir!
Stand up, sir!
Godamnit! She told me to get down,
why did you pull me up?
You did the robbery with
king Kong, you're doomed!
We're innocent!
You've committeed a crime, you're done!
Don't be so hard on me.
But we can bend the laws sometimes.
After all, you're my pal.
King Kong is a pal too,
don't be so hard on him either.
Bullshit!
We can't make everybody a pal.
Otherwise, what would the
royal police have to do?
Disarm yourself!
What?
Surrender all that belongs
to the royal police.
Actually I was tipped off that a deal
is going on
between bull and the American group.
Go get king Kong.
Convince him to be the
undercover for the police.
So that we'll get them all.
And we'll forget about his crimes.
Did you call?
Bb... l
yes sir!
Baldy's damn stupid.
I let him go to get a person.
Who?
Bb?
It's king Kong!
What happened?
I was stuck in a traffic jam!
You're really late!
Sit down and have a drink!
Pal, you're in trouble, look.
Thanks
hard luck, it happens to the best of us
yes. I
I'm here. No need to be afraid
who are you?
I'm fb. I
FBI?
You know, 'the man from
uncle', 'the aventgers'...
I've been waiting for them, they're done!
In 3 minutes, you'll
hear bi boo, bi boo...!
What's that?
A police siren!
I'm going to get them all today!
That means I don't have
to worry about anything.
They should be worried, not you!
You told me to Rob the
bank, then the jewellers.
Now you're done, we've
been waiting for you!
My plan has been set in motion.
In 3 minutes time, you'll
hear bi boo, bi boo!
What's that?
A police siren!
You scared? Hands up and
stand against the wall!
Hard luck for you!
Kiddo, it's a lesson for you.
Don't ever underestimate your enemy.
Where's the f.B.L.7?
My friend? He's over there!
Don't move!
I'm f.B.L... I kill the baddies!
Why are you arresting me?
But not to fear,
I'll get away in 3 minutes.
Don't forget, we are old friends!
Sir, you wanna arrest him?
Just take him in. Let's go!
Listen.
You've nowhere to go, why
don't you work with us?
Love to. But I've already
quit the business.
Actually I didn't want to get you,
but they've sent a real though guy.
Who?
Black gloves!
I don't mind,
but I've to check with my partner.
Go ahead!
He's not here!
That's him coming in, isn't it?
Go and rescue him!
I'm off.
Your boss wants to see you.
Why are you taking my car?
Baldy, get in!
Wonderful... l
You son of a bitch,
how did you get your driver's licence?
I bought it.
I'll put it into reverse,
you step on the gas.
What is that?
Shift stick, come on, let me do it.
Wonderful. Here we go.
Watch out!
Let go.
It's still moving forward.
Don't get excited, we're
going the wrong way.
Great, that was close.
Sit tight, don't move.
King Kong, what shall we do.
Don't worry, I've got 2 ways:
Then tell it.
We can jump off or just
close our eyes and pray.
Bullshit.
Police. Stop.
Stop.
I've got to call the police, it's urgent!
Thanks!
You're in trouble, my friend.
But don't worry!
Who are you?
F b. I
interpol, gestapo, the man from uncle
great. My partner was taken away,
to the warehouse!
I want to get rid of those creeps too
they will be
surrounded
they're doomed!
Then I don't have to be afraid!
They should be afraid, not you. Go!
Must be my lucky day!
Yes
- to run into an f.B.I.!
- That's right!
- We've got help!
- Just at the right time!
Are you really an f.B.L.?
Tora! Tora! Tora!
My brother white gloves
was killed by you.
He was the terror of Europe.
And you little jerk killed him.
What are you going to do then?
Last Chinese new year,
you took some diamonds from us.
Worth 27million Hong Kong dollars.
Give me back the diamonds!
They're not with me. I gave them to blady!
Where's baldy now?
He's right here!
Hands up, you're surrounded
by the police, , marines,
paratroopers, Gurkhas, boy scouts,
and the civil aids service unit of aberdeen
you're done!
You've got hope!
Baldy, you're terrific.
You got the police just in time!
He's even better than the
police, he's an f.B.I.!
FBI!
FBI?
You bet, he's an f.B.I.!
Interpol!
The avengers!
These bastards...
I've been waiting for them!
In 3 minutes...
The police will arrive!
Not really. You'll hear bi boo...
Don't run!
You won't be able to get away this time!
I get rid of all the baddies in the world.
Why do you arrest me?
Don't run!
He is armed!
I know!
But you're still running after him?
I'm a cop, I've to do
this at least for show!
What? Ain't I right?
Doctor, how are they?
They're my old friends.
We're the 3 stooges.
Then take them back too
That's strange.
It was pouring when I was on the phone
and it's sunny now.
Just do what I told you.
Go.
Baldy's chief? Help is here.
Chief.
You fixed them?
Sir, you know them?
No. Who are you?
Old fox, you're so heartless.
We're your pais.
He's right.
Only if you act as the police's undercover.
Or else you two will be sent to the asylum.
You threatening us?
Now way.
Don't worry, they can't prove we're crazy.
Sure.
That's easy.
Superintendent, you take care of that.
To prove you're both crazy,
I just have to ask a simple question.
Mister, are you insane?
You must be kidding.
Only an insane person asks
such silly questions.
Right.
Very good.
Let me ask
our model patient Mr. f.B.I.!
It's my turn now.
Mister, are you insane?
You must be kidding.
Only an insane person asks
such silly questions.
Right.
See, they're a perfect pair.
Okay, I'll arrange for them
to be roommates.
My room is air-conditioned, with a TV too.
You won't be bored.
An insane person nerver admits he's insane.
Mister, do you admit you're crazy?
Me? Yes, I do.
I'm very much insane, very very much so.
I'm cross-wired and cross-eyed.
Cross my heart and hope to die.
You're a very serious case.
Hopeless case. Get rid of him!
Yes, get rid of him.
Don't
okay, chief, we'll do it.
It's really ridiculous to
be set up by that gal twice
okay, I'll go and get rid of her.
Don't do that. I'll use
my charm to go after her
make her go crazy aboutme,
and then break up with her,
it's the worst thing possible
to happen to anybody!
How do you know?
I've been through it many times!
In that case,
get on with it!
"Friend... why don't we be friends!"
"Why don't we be friends,"
"nothing we fear we can't"
"I'm dressed like a fent,
my collar up again”
"walking like a beer can.”
"Why don't be friends,"
"say nice things I can”
"you're so pretty and
then, my eyes go again.”
"If only I can touch your hand!"
"Try if I can, can't help giving you a 10!"
"Put a diamond on your hand. What a gem."
"Oh ol oh my... she needs
a magnifying lens."
"To help her see it if she can.”
"Why don't we be friends."
"And we'll play in a band.”
"Her voice is so sweet, to
heaven I will be sent.”
"And see how great it is when we dance.”
"Why don't we be friends?"
"Nothing we fear we can't,”
"in the rain we can stand,"
"and indeed we will be friends!"
"Try if I can, can't help giving you a 10!"
"And if you really want to drive, we can”
"I'll try to help you"
"round the bends,"
"or else to heaven we'll be sent!"
"Why don't we be friends?"
"Nothing we fear we can't,”
"in the rain we can stand,"
"and indeed we will be friends!"
"In the rain we can stand,"
"and indeed we will be friends!"
Ok, now she's crazy about me.
What about yours?
She's crazy about me too!
Where is she now?
Gone back to the station.
Tonight I'll get my revenge.
If you wanna see somebody
suffering from love,
the pain, the tears; Tonight is the night!
If you wanna see somebody being deserted,
the disappointment,
the sorrow; Tonight's the night.
If you wanna see
somebody heartbroken.
Tonight is the night!
I hope you won't be set up again.
Don't worry, just find me a girl tonight
to be my fiancee. I just
want to make her mad.
She'll feel sorry then.
Where shall I meet you?
At the heartbreak cafél
If you play this well, I'll
take you to Hollywood.
Great!
You know, I love you very very much!
Come on...!
Hurry up!
I'll pay you half first,
the rest when it's over.
Wonderful!
Miss ho, I'm going to do you a favour.
Baldy is with some girl
now, she's even prettier!
You smut, where's he?
He's having a good time
at the heartbreak café!
Let's go!
Wait a minute, your make-up
is not heavy enouht.
I have to tell you something
though I don't want to.
But I've made up my mind
to tell it to you tonight.
Hold on, I've to tell you something too.
What a coincidence! You fist.
I'm engaged to someone else.
You don't mean me?
Of course not, he's
sitting right behind you.
Him?
What a sight!
Short and fat, he's no comparison to me!
But he's got...
What?
Weight! Fattie, come over here!
Hi, juju!
Be a gentieman, shake
hands with him, come on!
You bet I will. Here's might for you!
Juju!
Why did you do that?
Waiter, check please!
Yes sir, are you also
paying for that table?
What has it got to do with me?
Don't forget to split the
bill for this table too!
But she hasn't eaten anything!
Doesn't make any difference,
you still hate to charge her.
Don't get mad!
Mad? Big deal,
I'm used to that!
Losing a girl?
Get it right. You're losing me!
I asked for the check,
that means I don't want you.
So you get it straight!
You're getting too worked up!
Not a bit, I'm perfectly alright.
Alright? Then what are
you doing to the money?
I didn't do anything.
$89.6 please, thank you!
Take all of that.
We'll settle our accounts afterwards.
Must be kidding!
He's not my fiancee,
he's only my driver.
Driver!
Driver?
Fattie, it's all over. You can go now.
F attie!
For, you.
I don't deserve this!
Take it and keep your mouth shut.
No problem, kiddo!
Thank you so much!
Actually!
I just wanna test your love for me.
Do you really love me?
Sure! You think I like fattie?
Alright, why don't you fire him?
Ok, I'll do that tomorrow.
I'm sorry for being so narrow minded.
You're a real gentleman. If I were you.
And you came with a girl to put me to test,
I wouldn't be able to tolcrate it.
What would you do then?
I would have broken up with you.
I just couldn't tolerate it.
Don't worry, I would never do this to you.
Here come the action!
What a coincidence! Take a seat please.
Go!
She's in for it. Poor thing!
Let me do the introductions,
this is king Kong's...
What are you doing? This is...!
I'm not hungry. I'll eat
when this is all over.
This is... l
what are you doing?
I know, you want some action?
This is... l
sir!
It's no fun!
That's enough for me!
Hang on!
Why did you hit me?
Sorry, the plan has changed!
You have to
say she's your fiancee,
or else we won't be buddies no more.
Please sit on this side!
She didn't say anything, did she?
Carry on...!
Just to help you out, ok, she's my fiancee.
Say yes!
Yes, I'm his fiancee!
Sure!
I can't believe she's your fiancee!
I sware she's my one and only fiancee.
Never been anyone else!
Sure!
What about Nancy ho, the policewoman?
She? Forget it!
Nancy ho?
Where's baldy?
He's inside!
That's why she's not really my fiancee.
She's only one of them.
I've never been serious with her.
Besides, I have her
permission to fool around.
She says a real man has to fool around.
Right, he should fool around!
Fool around...!
Getting some action...!
Action? That's want I like, a lot of it.
Love is many splendid thing!
You really love her so much?
Very much!
"I love her with all my heart...!"
"All my heart...!"
Doctor, how's he?
I can't imagine
why he used his nose to have bortsen!
It's all over his lungs now.
Is it serious?
Of course, his heart beat is very weak.
If he doesn't show any improvement
within 24 hours,
I'm afraid Mr. Albert au
will be the first man
in histry to have drowned in soup.
Does his wife know
he's in a critical condition?
No, Nancy ho thinks he's
been fooling around.
Say that again
Nancy ho is furious about this.
That's strange!
What?
When you say Nancy ho,
his heart beat quickens!
Let me try again.
Nancy ho!
Nancy ho... she's coming!
I never want to
have bortsch again!
Are you alright?
I'm perfectly alright. I can swim!
How can Albert au be drowned in soup!
We're late!
How many of you?
We've got a place!
That guy's also bald, looks great though!
Believe me, I would never lie to you!
Ok. I
why is he here?
You told me she won't be here.
Stop quarrelling, it's Valentine's day!
Valentine's day?
Would you like to order?
Valentine's dinner for two please.
Hold on, I don't want that!
Since my lover's mean to me,
I want a Don Juan dinner!
That means you want a separate dinner?
Yes, separate... very separate!
You care for some soup?
Bortsch's out of me!
I'll have that, double with pepper!
Why?
The easier for you to drown in!
If I die, no one will marry you!
You kidding? Lotsa guys are crazy about me!
I was the prettiest girl in school.
And now I'm the prettiest policewoman.
If I don't marry you,
you'll be the prettiest spinster.
What?
Stop quarrelling in public!
It's not my fault.
He thinks he's smart though.
Who would marry him if I didn't?
You don't realize how charming I am!
The girls are crazy about me.
You must be out of your mind!
You don't believe me? I'll prove it to you.
Okay!
Try that girl!
No problem. Don't underestimate me!
Hi, miss!
I'm cid, you're in danger,
but I'll help you out.
Come and dance with me. Hold my hard!
368, come over here!
Yes, madam!
What's the matter, madam?
What did baldy say to you?
He said he's cid and wanna dance with me.
I'm thinking of ways to get him.
Nonsense
so that's how you pick up girls!
You think it's easy just
picking somebody up!
No problem, let me show youl!
I'll get one far better than you.
It's gonna be difficult!
Anyone wanna dance with me?
Oh my god, look at her!
Let's go!
Who are you?
Tell him.
I don't know him.
I'm her husband. Mind you.
I'm not in a good mood!
We didn't get married, I'm not his wife.
Got it, baldy?
She denies it. You better shut up!
I don't want to talk to you. Go!
You wanna fight? How many are you?
None of your business. Sit down!
The're are all with me.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
So few!
That whole table is with me!
King Kong
don't count on me. Gentlemen don't fight!
But it's not fair for me to
fight against you guys.
Go get some more help!
Forget it... let's go!
Aren't you going to dance with me?
Don't touch her,
or else I'll beat you up.
Darling!
Albert!
Boss, she hit you!
Darling, let me
no, let me have some fun too!
Take care!
So behave yourselves, don't...
Are you alright?
He kicked me but I didn't fight back!
What kind of a man are you
if you don't fight now?
Go and beat them up!
Go ahead, great!
Go away, I don't hit women
I just changed my mind!
How dare you do this to my husband?
Get up!
Thanks!
Darling, it's her again!
How dare you beat my Albert up?
Albert
I don't mean to
I'll handle it! Ok!
Let's go and have a bite, okay?
Sure
let's go!
They'll make deal today. Don't worry
we, royal Hong Kong police force
will be your backup
Where's juju?
You'll see her when the deal is done.
What's that?
I'll tell you when it's over.
What are your chances like?
50:50!
That's right. There'll be 2 possibilities:
One, we won't be able to
come back if we fail;
or we don't wanna come back if we make it.
Wrong, you're bound to
come back even if you make it.
Put them on!
These are 2 specially made time bombs.
I'll defuse them when you
bring the diamonds back.
Don't worry. I know how to do it!
I'm the only person on earth
who knows how to.
There are 25 wires, and
the bomb will explode
if any of them is broken.
I'll give you 4 hours, is that enough?
3 hours is more than enough.
Okay, 3 hours then!
Get in!
Sir, they just got in
follow them!
Your pal is very concerned about you!
Look at the motorcycle, it's keeping close.
We don't know him
don't you? He's cid ah wing.
Turn left!
They're gone into sesame street!
Get lost, the ambulance will take over.
Another one, you've got some more help!
Of course.
All the lads are supporting us spiritually
with me here, you don't have to be afraid!
Quit messing around!
Turn right!
We'll change cars now!
Sir, he got into the container
keep calm and keep a close eye on him!
Then why don't you go get them
yes, sir!
Let's go!
He change cars. He's
flying across the river!
You fly after him!
I've got to resscue him, my baldy!
I seem to have fainted. Did you?
Of course I did not.
Where am I?
Let's get out first.
Don't bother. Your friends have all gone.
How did you get away from them?
Shut up.
The deal will be carried out here.
You have 2.5 hrs to go.
I'll have the champagne ready.
Don't go!
Over here.
How did you get here?
By the staircase.
Follow me.
You've walked right into it.
Don't try to run away.
We were just looking for you.
We've got a time bomb on us
which will explode in an hour's time.
By that time, all the money will be gone.
Is the money genuine or counterfeit?
You want us to tell the truth or not?
The truth of course!
Then it's counterfeit money!
Bg ll!
Hurry, go and rescue your buddy.
Looks great, what's that?
It's a magic box!
Okay.
Don't block my sight.
He failed.
You mean that plane.
I mean your magic box.
Shit, watch this.
What's that?
A mini, long-distance,
cross-country, super speed rocket.
What's that?
I don't even know myself.
Press the button, here we go...
You wanna kill yourself?
I nearly lost my life.
You should face danger fearlessly.
You told me to face danger fearlessly.
Sometimes it depends on circumstances.
Keep calm.
Only a heap of junk left.
Don't underestimate this.
Great heroes
have risen from junk heaps.
Just like you and me.
I didn't.
That's why you're not a hero.
The stars of the show
are in a bomb shelter of the box.
Is that a windmill?
A radar control.
The Hong Kong bunters, here comes samurai.
Samirai, don't be afraid
king Kong.
Peter Pan.
- Horsey, froggie.
- It's fun.
Man with the golden gun.
Give him a hand, fattle.
Wake up, yoho!
Hold it for me.
Where are you going?
Beat him while he's down.
Get on with the attack.
Bomber ant, give him a hand.
Dear friends, I salute you!
Time's up, if you don't go now.
They'll be saying goodbye forever of us!
There's no time!
It's my turn now!
Go get that guy to deluse the bomb first.
Help! I'm here
where?
There!
Come down!
Please defuse the bomb for us.
No, black gloves tied me up there!
I can't move!
Let's go and find Nancy ho
she'll get an explosives expert to do it.
Okay...!
A rocket.
Jump off.
Let me do it, get in.
Hurry up.
Coming...
Get on it.
Don't worry, I'm great on bicycles.
Over there. I
I thought you knew how to ride a bike.
Gosh, he's coming again.
Have we arrived?
Yes, we have.
Pull up.
Your driver's licence.
Sorry sir!
Now go and find another car. Shit!
Great, how many more rockets are there?
One.
That will kill him.
Look.
They're still alive, what now?
You go ahead first.
Hurry up... stand back.
It's a fake.
Where's baldy?
How does it look?
I can't take it apart.
Have a seat!
Go away, the bomb will explode
any minute. Go away!
The explosive expert is coming.
It's too late.
You sit down for a while!
Go away!
They're bound to know how to dismantle it.
So don't worry!
Me worried? I'm a hero,
I do not fear death!
I'll make my comeback in time.
What about me?
You'll be an old lady then.
We're just not made for each other.
Go away...!
We'll meet again in another life.
Wait for me!
I won't go away!
After all, I'm yours now,
forever and ever!
I don't care whether
it's an atomic bomb that's on you
whatever happens, we won't be separated!
I wanna say something which I never thought
was possible for me to say.
I'll say it now.
Come on then.
Honey, I love you!
Albert!
Don't cry!
It's a sign of a weak person.
It won't help anyway!
I don't want to die so soon!
Honey, ll've been very loyal to you.
I didn't fool around. I've
only thought about it!
It's alright. In future,
don't even think about it!
Madam, the explosives expert is here.
Bring him in.
Yes madam
Where's baldy?
He's inside the sand bags.
Is the bomb defused?
The explosives expert just arrived.
Don't be afraid, I'm the
expplosives expert FBI.
I don't care whether it's
a rime bomb, a sex bomb
an atomic bomb, hydrogen
bomb or a stink bomb;
I know how to take them apart.
You can't go in!
Don't do that! He's a mad nutcase!
He's a nutcase!
Where's the bomb?
I did it. I've dismantled the bomb!
Watch out!
- Are you o.K.?
- Sure!
I'm fb. I
interpol, gestapo and the avengers
comrade, we kill the baddies,
we've got so many things to do.
Are you ready?
All set!
Let's go! Bi boo, bi boo...!
I'll kill you.
Come on!
Come on!
The un.O.
Had its 17000th meeting tonight
on global security, the
meeting was a deadlock.
Latest news: Macau launched
her first rocket today
finally...
Bye bye.
Right, you don't have to believe in god,
but you must believe in my intelligence.
With this, I've made my friend
Nixon such a world famous superstar
that's the jerk, waste him now!
That makes him more famous.
Don't you ever mention Watergate
in front of me again!
Don't you tell anybody
that I'm the killers' agent now!
Well, you got someone that thinks
dirty and fights dirty?
Oh boy, he's more than dirty, he's filthy!
Who?
The bad guys call him Harry
and the good guys call him filthy Harry.
Filthy Harry!
Have we met somewhere before?
Yeah, in hell!
Harry, the godfather in Italy
offers you a contract,
he wants you to go to h.K. To
make a deal with this punk here
and by the way,
get rid of these 2 creeps, will you?
Why?
Because the godfather doesn't like them.
I didn't ask you. Get lost!
Yeah, listen to him. Get lost!
Get rid of him, I don't like him.
Neithor do I.
Well okay?
What's okay?
Did you get him?
No, he ran too fast.
Help, help!
Over there!
That's it.
Look behind you, some goodies!
You're so sneaky!
So malicious!
Is that all? Only four of you?
Come on... hurry up...!
Excuse us! You have guts,
we'll never do it again!
What are you doing?
Nothing, I'm short-sighted,
wanna see you clearly.
Where are the bad guys?
I'm lucky to have met you, where are they?
I've sent them running!
Come closer and see for yourself!
My name's king Kong, and yours?
I'm juju.
Come closer and keep on looking.
Oh no, I've got to go now.
So soon!
My brother says, when a guy meets a gal,
and they're alone, strange things happen,
I wouldn't dare!
But I would!
Gosh, I've got to get
some money from the bank.
What if I run into the baddies again?
Don't worry, I'll go with you.
Hang on while I get changed.
Let's go!
You're just terrific!
Please!
This way!
I have something for you.
This is ordered by you.
Well,
do you like it?
Sure!
Please wrap it up.
How do you want it?
Large bills please.
What's the matter?
I'm a bit scarred.
Don't be. I'll take care of the bad guys.
You're really terrific!
Oh really?
Miss!
Why don't you give her the money?
Hurry up, we're going to a movie.
I'll take care of them for you.
Hurry up or else my partner might get mad.
There's no more.
Bye-bye!
Have you got the money?
All of it. Let's go!
Okay!
What? There's a robbery?
Yes, and you did it.
The one in the white suit,
he's got a gun with him.
Don't move!
Spare me. I've got a wife and mother.
Where?
In India.
Give me the gun and I'll give you this.
Whatever you say.
Bye-bye!
Bye, Sonny, thanks!
Over there!
The man in front is the robber!
Who. .?
He's right in front of us... get him!
The one in the white suit!
Can I use your bike?
Stop, don't run!
Excuse me!
You never look after our little girl!
Don't let him get away!
Bye-bye!
Don't move!
What's going on?
Stop!
Sorry!
Don't move!
Herel
Don't do that, sir!
I didn't see anything.
Thanks for your co-operation!
He's the one. Get him! Don't run!
Stop him!
Don't run!
I'm ss 0 rry!
You go ahead, don't mind me...
Break in through the door!
- Who's he?
- Don't know!
Break the door down!
Don't move!
Bye-bye!
What's the matter, pal?
What's?
You've ruined it all.
I tried to kill myself
but your truck got in the way,
wee what you did to my suit
and I'm not even dead!
Move the truck away, I'm going to try again
sorry! Sorry!
Albert!
You sonofabitch, why are you so late?
Quiet please, you're in the church.
I'm sorry! Sorry...!
You're wearing mighty mouse's costume.
Why so late?
I'm in trouble, I was set up!
Mr. Albert au, miss Nancy ho,
that love between husband
and wife is sacred.
Marrage is great responsibility.
It should be mutual and lasting.
What a load of bullshit?
You bet!
Albert, pay attention!
Okay, you can carry on!
Mr. Albert au,
will you take miss Nancy ho as you wife?
Will you or won't you?
Hold on, what did you say?
I asked you whether
you're going to help me.
Well, will you or won't you?
Of course not!
What did you say?
It's got nothing to do with me.
Sir, that guy up there robbed the bank.
I'm in trouble, I've got to go now.
Really?
Sorry - yes!
We've chased you here,
bye, I'm off!
Get him, don't let him get away!
Darling, please!
Let's talk about how to
help king Kong out...
Baldy, come over here!
To our room? Coming...!
No way.
If you wanna marry me,
make sure that between you and me,
king Kong would have to get lost!
He's not just a pal, he's
like a brother to me!
Which is more important:
Your wife or brother?
It's different, a brother is part of you.
What about a wife?
She's like chicken congee.
What?
You never heard that before?
It goes like this:
Wifey is like chicken congee,
much nicey before eating
too much eating
becomes plain congee.
What plain congee?
Tasteless and boring!
Who taught you this?
King Kong of course!
That's a bit much. And
disrupting our wedding too!
I'll shoot him
on sight.
Yes, I'll do that when I see him.
Where are you going?
To take a shower!
"Ebony & ivory,
live together in perfect Harmony..."
What's the matter?
You're done! Nancy said
she'll shoot you on sight.
Why?
I told her the chicken congee story.
You really got me into trouble this time!
Why are you yelling?
I'm singing, "jingle bells...!"
Sing "ebony and lvory!"
"Ebony & ivory,
live together in perfect Harmony..."
What are you doing?
I'm talking my shower.
With your clothes on?
Yeah, I wanna clean them too.
What's that in your hands?
One of the holes is stnck.
Go out. You make me feel embarrassed.
She's gone out,
get dressed and go.
What song did I sing?
"Jungle bells!"
No, should be "ebony and lvory!"
Yeah, "ebony and lvory!"
What are you doing?
Combing my hair, of course!
I lost so much hair recently, let's go!
Who went in?
Me of course.
What are you doing in there?
Taking a shower.
You can't do that!
Why not? You can do it, so why can't I?
Don't take off you clothes!
You kidding? How can I take
a shower with my clothes on?
Oh my god! King Kong,
close your eyes!
What are you doing now?
Taking off my clothes!
Oh no, king Kong will see everything!
Were you peeped by king Kong?
How do you know?
I told him to hide inside.
Let him take a look, draling!
How can you do that? I'm your wife!
True, you're for my eyes only.
Were you undressed?
Of course, I took of 2 buttons!
One, two, oh no!
King Kong, you sonofabitch, come out!
What have you got to say for yourself?
Don't get mad, I didn't see anything!
I closed my eyes!
She took off 3 buttons,
so you saw everything!
Not so many, only 2!
How do you know?
I saw it with my own eyes.
I think that's the end of our friendship.
I mean 2 sleeve buttons only!
Even worse.
The most attractive part of my wife's body
is her pair of hands,
and you saw it all! A duel!
What are you going to use?
Me? A gun of course!
Come on, I'll fire if you dare move.
I hate men in skirts anyway!
So you're bound to win?
Of course!
Baldy, it's not fair.
I can't help it!
It's not fair for me to marry you,
it't not fair to leave king Kong helpness!
What's he to you
that you're helping him?
What did I say wrong?
How dare you say such a thing?
He told me to.
It's my fault!
It's my fault that. Baldy
has become so cheeky.
I stopped your wonderful wedding,
I should bear all the responsibilities
it's my fault that you're fighting.
I'm leaving!
If you have time,
do drop by the prision to say hello.
Wait a minute, I'm going with you.
A friend in need is a friend indeen.
If I don't help you, who will?
Let's go!
Stop, come back!
How can you make it without my help?
To find out who set king Kong up,
we have to find squealie.
That informer?
How do you know he'd be here?
He comes here every night.
So many cars here, how do we start?
Don't worry, wher I shout, he'll come out.
Squealie!
What's going on?
Don't run away!
Stay where you are!
Okay...!
What are you looking at?
Okay, I'll give you all
the information you need.
What information?
3 clue,
1 genuine, 1 false, 1 complimentary.
Go ahead!
Some jerk
was set up by a girl, that's genuine.
What a great way to be set up!
What else have you got?
The second one is false.
You're supposed to marry baide,
but everything's mossed up.
Now everybody is saying that
nobody is marrying you.
Shut up, you didn't even
turn up at my wedding.
And no wedding present other!
That's why the third on is complimentary.
What's complimentary?
Gossip! After all, that's my business.
Go on, I love gossip.
Who is it about?
You of course!
Actually, baldy is real playboy.
He fooled around a lot in the states.
Once he even went with a black girl!
You sonofabitch, that's a lie!
I have evidence, look at this photo.
Baldy!
You wanna sneak off. I
come here, explain yourself.
I'm busy!
Are you coming?
Yes, right away, I'll explain.
Here I am.. I
who masterminded the robbery?
Who are you?
I'm the dumb jerk!
Since you're so frank, I'll tell you.
It's a fast growing, local gang,
headed by a brother and a sister
known as bull and juju.
Where do they live?
That doesn't work!
Of course, yours never do.
So what shall we do?
We have to beat about the
bush, the surround them.
I'll be ready at the door.
While you break in through the window.
When everybody's attentionis on you.
I'll break in through the door.
This way, we'll get them all!
Smart guy!
In 3 minutes time,
we'll start.
This is for real!
Over there!
1st floor! 2nd floor!
3rd floor! 4th floor! 5th floor!
Right!
Coming!
Don't mover!
Are you Bonnie and Clyde!
60 years age, we were!
Then what are you doing on the 5th floor?
This is the 6th floor!
How come?
10 seconds too late, I'll lake a chance!
Don't move!
Drop your guns!
Where's your boss?
Tell him to come out right away!
Where have you been?
The rope wasn't long enough,
ended on the 6th floor!
Gosh, can't you be more...
Who is she?
The one who set me up for the bank job!
King Kong, I'm sorry,
my brother forced me to.
I knew it!
Don't take this, it's poisonous!
Keep your hands off!
Have you two had enough fun?
If so, please sit down and let's talk!
Ho asked us to sit down,
that's a good start!
I have nothing against you,
why did you set me up?
Don't get me worng,
I just wanna be riends with you.
And work with you on a deal!
What deal?
It's simple!
I'm going to buy some diamnonds
from an American group.
And I'd like you two to
negotiate with them.
That's legal enough, why do you need us?
Because there's a small problem.
What sort of problem
the money we're going
to use is counterfeit!
That means we'll be doomed?
That's the problem!
No problem, whom do we deal with?
Black gloves!
That's a problem!
Why?
The problem is they don't know me!
Who are you?
I'm the internationally
acclaimed sleuth baldy!
I'll give you 3 minutes
to disarm yourselves,
and be arrested, or else...!
Or else what...?
Or else nothing?
Sit down!
Don't push him too far!
Go away!
Don't touch her, or else...
Or else what?
Or else nothing!
Sit down!
Will you take up this job?
Not!
Yes
yes
no way!
No why...!
How can that be...?
We're back again!
Have you made up your mind?
Yes
Let me do it!
Herel
get in, they're approaching!
You drive.
Why should I get into your car?
Look!
They're over there, hurry!
Stop! Don't stay right there.
I have an interesting question for you.
Why is your brother Chinese
and you eurasian?
Same father, different mothers?
Or same mother, different fathers?
Answer me!
Don't spoil the atmosphere!
From your eyes,
I can tell you're a baddie.
Let me take a look.
Don't touch her!
One eye is good and the other isn't.
What pertume do you use?
Smells good though.
She didn't use any, that's
me you're smelling.
I like your lipsticks, taste good?
Let me taste it.
She won't let me.
Go away, get the car going!
You're the driver, not me.
How's that...?
Server you right!
The loot is kept in my uncle's place.
He owns this jewellery shop.
Welcome! Can I help you?
Police! I'd like to see your boss.
He's upstairs. What's the matter?
It's like this...
You know why she likes me?
May be that's for show.
She probably fancies me.
Mr. wong, this is the
well known sleuth baldy
show him your ID!
Come on, show it to him!
That's international, and this is local.
Just to reassure you, this is my gun.
Would you please come up with me?
Wait here, I'll go get the boss.
Okay!
You wait for me here.
My uncle has a weak heart,
he's afraid of the cops.
Me too. It's all because of him!
Come on in!
You better be quick!
I will.
Let's go!
Go away!
Take care!
Did you see her making eyes at me!
You better be careful,
she can set you up again.
I don't mind being set up
if she's like this to me!
My uncle said he'd like to
give it to you in person.
Me first. I look more trustworthy!
Go on in!
Look!
Help!
Let's run!
What's the matter?
Keep calm!
What are you looking at?
We're the cops, you think we did it!
Of course!
Stop looking at me or I'll get you!
Will you stop that? I'm
really going to get youl!
I'm not joking. Let's go!
You know you have no right
to even look at me?
You look at me again?
I'll take you downtown!
If you do that again. I'll get you!
Herel
look!
Baldy, you're trapped.
She did the robbery!
Don't run!
- Help!
- Let's go!
Stand still!
Stop, don't let him run away!
Are you right?
I'm out of breath already!
Okay, I'll give you a lift!
Get in!
Keep it up! Careful you don't fail!
Over here!
Hurry, no time for passing now!
I was catching my breath!
We've nowhere to go!
There. I
saw it? No!
Over there!
Doesn't work.
You'll be seen, climb the wall!
Climb the wall!
How now. .?
What are you doing?
Stand on the wooden plank
and I'll jump down
from the ladder
and spring you over the wall!
That's right
you sonofabitch, you kidding me.
You stand on the plank and I'll jump!
Okay, let's do that!
Don't you try to fool me.
I'm not dumb. I'll fall and hurt myself!
You think I'm a circus clown?
Are you okay?
Okay, go ahead!
What shall I do?
Use your brains!
I haven't got any!
Use your feet then!
I really have to this time.
Yes sir!
7997! Yes sir!
376! Yes sir!
Excuse me please!
Help! Get him!
Help! Get him! Don't run!
Don't run! Stand still!
Don't move or I'll fire!
Over there... hurry up, here!
Don't go away! Get him!
What's the matter, sieuth?
I'm done. Someone wants to kill me!
How dare he do this in the station?
He's even got a gun!
We should call the police then. Dial 999l
what shall we do now?
What's the matter?
The robber went inside.
Go got him! Who're you waiting for?
The door's locked!
Don't move. .!
Kneel down, sir!
Stand up, sir!
Godamnit! She told me to get down,
why did you pull me up?
You did the robbery with
king Kong, you're doomed!
We're innocent!
You've committeed a crime, you're done!
Don't be so hard on me.
But we can bend the laws sometimes.
After all, you're my pal.
King Kong is a pal too,
don't be so hard on him either.
Bullshit!
We can't make everybody a pal.
Otherwise, what would the
royal police have to do?
Disarm yourself!
What?
Surrender all that belongs
to the royal police.
Actually I was tipped off that a deal
is going on
between bull and the American group.
Go get king Kong.
Convince him to be the
undercover for the police.
So that we'll get them all.
And we'll forget about his crimes.
Did you call?
Bb... l
yes sir!
Baldy's damn stupid.
I let him go to get a person.
Who?
Bb?
It's king Kong!
What happened?
I was stuck in a traffic jam!
You're really late!
Sit down and have a drink!
Pal, you're in trouble, look.
Thanks
hard luck, it happens to the best of us
yes. I
I'm here. No need to be afraid
who are you?
I'm fb. I
FBI?
You know, 'the man from
uncle', 'the aventgers'...
I've been waiting for them, they're done!
In 3 minutes, you'll
hear bi boo, bi boo...!
What's that?
A police siren!
I'm going to get them all today!
That means I don't have
to worry about anything.
They should be worried, not you!
You told me to Rob the
bank, then the jewellers.
Now you're done, we've
been waiting for you!
My plan has been set in motion.
In 3 minutes time, you'll
hear bi boo, bi boo!
What's that?
A police siren!
You scared? Hands up and
stand against the wall!
Hard luck for you!
Kiddo, it's a lesson for you.
Don't ever underestimate your enemy.
Where's the f.B.L.7?
My friend? He's over there!
Don't move!
I'm f.B.L... I kill the baddies!
Why are you arresting me?
But not to fear,
I'll get away in 3 minutes.
Don't forget, we are old friends!
Sir, you wanna arrest him?
Just take him in. Let's go!
Listen.
You've nowhere to go, why
don't you work with us?
Love to. But I've already
quit the business.
Actually I didn't want to get you,
but they've sent a real though guy.
Who?
Black gloves!
I don't mind,
but I've to check with my partner.
Go ahead!
He's not here!
That's him coming in, isn't it?
Go and rescue him!
I'm off.
Your boss wants to see you.
Why are you taking my car?
Baldy, get in!
Wonderful... l
You son of a bitch,
how did you get your driver's licence?
I bought it.
I'll put it into reverse,
you step on the gas.
What is that?
Shift stick, come on, let me do it.
Wonderful. Here we go.
Watch out!
Let go.
It's still moving forward.
Don't get excited, we're
going the wrong way.
Great, that was close.
Sit tight, don't move.
King Kong, what shall we do.
Don't worry, I've got 2 ways:
Then tell it.
We can jump off or just
close our eyes and pray.
Bullshit.
Police. Stop.
Stop.
I've got to call the police, it's urgent!
Thanks!
You're in trouble, my friend.
But don't worry!
Who are you?
F b. I
interpol, gestapo, the man from uncle
great. My partner was taken away,
to the warehouse!
I want to get rid of those creeps too
they will be
surrounded
they're doomed!
Then I don't have to be afraid!
They should be afraid, not you. Go!
Must be my lucky day!
Yes
- to run into an f.B.I.!
- That's right!
- We've got help!
- Just at the right time!
Are you really an f.B.L.?
Tora! Tora! Tora!
My brother white gloves
was killed by you.
He was the terror of Europe.
And you little jerk killed him.
What are you going to do then?
Last Chinese new year,
you took some diamonds from us.
Worth 27million Hong Kong dollars.
Give me back the diamonds!
They're not with me. I gave them to blady!
Where's baldy now?
He's right here!
Hands up, you're surrounded
by the police, , marines,
paratroopers, Gurkhas, boy scouts,
and the civil aids service unit of aberdeen
you're done!
You've got hope!
Baldy, you're terrific.
You got the police just in time!
He's even better than the
police, he's an f.B.I.!
FBI!
FBI?
You bet, he's an f.B.I.!
Interpol!
The avengers!
These bastards...
I've been waiting for them!
In 3 minutes...
The police will arrive!
Not really. You'll hear bi boo...
Don't run!
You won't be able to get away this time!
I get rid of all the baddies in the world.
Why do you arrest me?
Don't run!
He is armed!
I know!
But you're still running after him?
I'm a cop, I've to do
this at least for show!
What? Ain't I right?
Doctor, how are they?
They're my old friends.
We're the 3 stooges.
Then take them back too
That's strange.
It was pouring when I was on the phone
and it's sunny now.
Just do what I told you.
Go.
Baldy's chief? Help is here.
Chief.
You fixed them?
Sir, you know them?
No. Who are you?
Old fox, you're so heartless.
We're your pais.
He's right.
Only if you act as the police's undercover.
Or else you two will be sent to the asylum.
You threatening us?
Now way.
Don't worry, they can't prove we're crazy.
Sure.
That's easy.
Superintendent, you take care of that.
To prove you're both crazy,
I just have to ask a simple question.
Mister, are you insane?
You must be kidding.
Only an insane person asks
such silly questions.
Right.
Very good.
Let me ask
our model patient Mr. f.B.I.!
It's my turn now.
Mister, are you insane?
You must be kidding.
Only an insane person asks
such silly questions.
Right.
See, they're a perfect pair.
Okay, I'll arrange for them
to be roommates.
My room is air-conditioned, with a TV too.
You won't be bored.
An insane person nerver admits he's insane.
Mister, do you admit you're crazy?
Me? Yes, I do.
I'm very much insane, very very much so.
I'm cross-wired and cross-eyed.
Cross my heart and hope to die.
You're a very serious case.
Hopeless case. Get rid of him!
Yes, get rid of him.
Don't
okay, chief, we'll do it.
It's really ridiculous to
be set up by that gal twice
okay, I'll go and get rid of her.
Don't do that. I'll use
my charm to go after her
make her go crazy aboutme,
and then break up with her,
it's the worst thing possible
to happen to anybody!
How do you know?
I've been through it many times!
In that case,
get on with it!
"Friend... why don't we be friends!"
"Why don't we be friends,"
"nothing we fear we can't"
"I'm dressed like a fent,
my collar up again”
"walking like a beer can.”
"Why don't be friends,"
"say nice things I can”
"you're so pretty and
then, my eyes go again.”
"If only I can touch your hand!"
"Try if I can, can't help giving you a 10!"
"Put a diamond on your hand. What a gem."
"Oh ol oh my... she needs
a magnifying lens."
"To help her see it if she can.”
"Why don't we be friends."
"And we'll play in a band.”
"Her voice is so sweet, to
heaven I will be sent.”
"And see how great it is when we dance.”
"Why don't we be friends?"
"Nothing we fear we can't,”
"in the rain we can stand,"
"and indeed we will be friends!"
"Try if I can, can't help giving you a 10!"
"And if you really want to drive, we can”
"I'll try to help you"
"round the bends,"
"or else to heaven we'll be sent!"
"Why don't we be friends?"
"Nothing we fear we can't,”
"in the rain we can stand,"
"and indeed we will be friends!"
"In the rain we can stand,"
"and indeed we will be friends!"
Ok, now she's crazy about me.
What about yours?
She's crazy about me too!
Where is she now?
Gone back to the station.
Tonight I'll get my revenge.
If you wanna see somebody
suffering from love,
the pain, the tears; Tonight is the night!
If you wanna see somebody being deserted,
the disappointment,
the sorrow; Tonight's the night.
If you wanna see
somebody heartbroken.
Tonight is the night!
I hope you won't be set up again.
Don't worry, just find me a girl tonight
to be my fiancee. I just
want to make her mad.
She'll feel sorry then.
Where shall I meet you?
At the heartbreak cafél
If you play this well, I'll
take you to Hollywood.
Great!
You know, I love you very very much!
Come on...!
Hurry up!
I'll pay you half first,
the rest when it's over.
Wonderful!
Miss ho, I'm going to do you a favour.
Baldy is with some girl
now, she's even prettier!
You smut, where's he?
He's having a good time
at the heartbreak café!
Let's go!
Wait a minute, your make-up
is not heavy enouht.
I have to tell you something
though I don't want to.
But I've made up my mind
to tell it to you tonight.
Hold on, I've to tell you something too.
What a coincidence! You fist.
I'm engaged to someone else.
You don't mean me?
Of course not, he's
sitting right behind you.
Him?
What a sight!
Short and fat, he's no comparison to me!
But he's got...
What?
Weight! Fattie, come over here!
Hi, juju!
Be a gentieman, shake
hands with him, come on!
You bet I will. Here's might for you!
Juju!
Why did you do that?
Waiter, check please!
Yes sir, are you also
paying for that table?
What has it got to do with me?
Don't forget to split the
bill for this table too!
But she hasn't eaten anything!
Doesn't make any difference,
you still hate to charge her.
Don't get mad!
Mad? Big deal,
I'm used to that!
Losing a girl?
Get it right. You're losing me!
I asked for the check,
that means I don't want you.
So you get it straight!
You're getting too worked up!
Not a bit, I'm perfectly alright.
Alright? Then what are
you doing to the money?
I didn't do anything.
$89.6 please, thank you!
Take all of that.
We'll settle our accounts afterwards.
Must be kidding!
He's not my fiancee,
he's only my driver.
Driver!
Driver?
Fattie, it's all over. You can go now.
F attie!
For, you.
I don't deserve this!
Take it and keep your mouth shut.
No problem, kiddo!
Thank you so much!
Actually!
I just wanna test your love for me.
Do you really love me?
Sure! You think I like fattie?
Alright, why don't you fire him?
Ok, I'll do that tomorrow.
I'm sorry for being so narrow minded.
You're a real gentleman. If I were you.
And you came with a girl to put me to test,
I wouldn't be able to tolcrate it.
What would you do then?
I would have broken up with you.
I just couldn't tolerate it.
Don't worry, I would never do this to you.
Here come the action!
What a coincidence! Take a seat please.
Go!
She's in for it. Poor thing!
Let me do the introductions,
this is king Kong's...
What are you doing? This is...!
I'm not hungry. I'll eat
when this is all over.
This is... l
what are you doing?
I know, you want some action?
This is... l
sir!
It's no fun!
That's enough for me!
Hang on!
Why did you hit me?
Sorry, the plan has changed!
You have to
say she's your fiancee,
or else we won't be buddies no more.
Please sit on this side!
She didn't say anything, did she?
Carry on...!
Just to help you out, ok, she's my fiancee.
Say yes!
Yes, I'm his fiancee!
Sure!
I can't believe she's your fiancee!
I sware she's my one and only fiancee.
Never been anyone else!
Sure!
What about Nancy ho, the policewoman?
She? Forget it!
Nancy ho?
Where's baldy?
He's inside!
That's why she's not really my fiancee.
She's only one of them.
I've never been serious with her.
Besides, I have her
permission to fool around.
She says a real man has to fool around.
Right, he should fool around!
Fool around...!
Getting some action...!
Action? That's want I like, a lot of it.
Love is many splendid thing!
You really love her so much?
Very much!
"I love her with all my heart...!"
"All my heart...!"
Doctor, how's he?
I can't imagine
why he used his nose to have bortsen!
It's all over his lungs now.
Is it serious?
Of course, his heart beat is very weak.
If he doesn't show any improvement
within 24 hours,
I'm afraid Mr. Albert au
will be the first man
in histry to have drowned in soup.
Does his wife know
he's in a critical condition?
No, Nancy ho thinks he's
been fooling around.
Say that again
Nancy ho is furious about this.
That's strange!
What?
When you say Nancy ho,
his heart beat quickens!
Let me try again.
Nancy ho!
Nancy ho... she's coming!
I never want to
have bortsch again!
Are you alright?
I'm perfectly alright. I can swim!
How can Albert au be drowned in soup!
We're late!
How many of you?
We've got a place!
That guy's also bald, looks great though!
Believe me, I would never lie to you!
Ok. I
why is he here?
You told me she won't be here.
Stop quarrelling, it's Valentine's day!
Valentine's day?
Would you like to order?
Valentine's dinner for two please.
Hold on, I don't want that!
Since my lover's mean to me,
I want a Don Juan dinner!
That means you want a separate dinner?
Yes, separate... very separate!
You care for some soup?
Bortsch's out of me!
I'll have that, double with pepper!
Why?
The easier for you to drown in!
If I die, no one will marry you!
You kidding? Lotsa guys are crazy about me!
I was the prettiest girl in school.
And now I'm the prettiest policewoman.
If I don't marry you,
you'll be the prettiest spinster.
What?
Stop quarrelling in public!
It's not my fault.
He thinks he's smart though.
Who would marry him if I didn't?
You don't realize how charming I am!
The girls are crazy about me.
You must be out of your mind!
You don't believe me? I'll prove it to you.
Okay!
Try that girl!
No problem. Don't underestimate me!
Hi, miss!
I'm cid, you're in danger,
but I'll help you out.
Come and dance with me. Hold my hard!
368, come over here!
Yes, madam!
What's the matter, madam?
What did baldy say to you?
He said he's cid and wanna dance with me.
I'm thinking of ways to get him.
Nonsense
so that's how you pick up girls!
You think it's easy just
picking somebody up!
No problem, let me show youl!
I'll get one far better than you.
It's gonna be difficult!
Anyone wanna dance with me?
Oh my god, look at her!
Let's go!
Who are you?
Tell him.
I don't know him.
I'm her husband. Mind you.
I'm not in a good mood!
We didn't get married, I'm not his wife.
Got it, baldy?
She denies it. You better shut up!
I don't want to talk to you. Go!
You wanna fight? How many are you?
None of your business. Sit down!
The're are all with me.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
So few!
That whole table is with me!
King Kong
don't count on me. Gentlemen don't fight!
But it's not fair for me to
fight against you guys.
Go get some more help!
Forget it... let's go!
Aren't you going to dance with me?
Don't touch her,
or else I'll beat you up.
Darling!
Albert!
Boss, she hit you!
Darling, let me
no, let me have some fun too!
Take care!
So behave yourselves, don't...
Are you alright?
He kicked me but I didn't fight back!
What kind of a man are you
if you don't fight now?
Go and beat them up!
Go ahead, great!
Go away, I don't hit women
I just changed my mind!
How dare you do this to my husband?
Get up!
Thanks!
Darling, it's her again!
How dare you beat my Albert up?
Albert
I don't mean to
I'll handle it! Ok!
Let's go and have a bite, okay?
Sure
let's go!
They'll make deal today. Don't worry
we, royal Hong Kong police force
will be your backup
Where's juju?
You'll see her when the deal is done.
What's that?
I'll tell you when it's over.
What are your chances like?
50:50!
That's right. There'll be 2 possibilities:
One, we won't be able to
come back if we fail;
or we don't wanna come back if we make it.
Wrong, you're bound to
come back even if you make it.
Put them on!
These are 2 specially made time bombs.
I'll defuse them when you
bring the diamonds back.
Don't worry. I know how to do it!
I'm the only person on earth
who knows how to.
There are 25 wires, and
the bomb will explode
if any of them is broken.
I'll give you 4 hours, is that enough?
3 hours is more than enough.
Okay, 3 hours then!
Get in!
Sir, they just got in
follow them!
Your pal is very concerned about you!
Look at the motorcycle, it's keeping close.
We don't know him
don't you? He's cid ah wing.
Turn left!
They're gone into sesame street!
Get lost, the ambulance will take over.
Another one, you've got some more help!
Of course.
All the lads are supporting us spiritually
with me here, you don't have to be afraid!
Quit messing around!
Turn right!
We'll change cars now!
Sir, he got into the container
keep calm and keep a close eye on him!
Then why don't you go get them
yes, sir!
Let's go!
He change cars. He's
flying across the river!
You fly after him!
I've got to resscue him, my baldy!
I seem to have fainted. Did you?
Of course I did not.
Where am I?
Let's get out first.
Don't bother. Your friends have all gone.
How did you get away from them?
Shut up.
The deal will be carried out here.
You have 2.5 hrs to go.
I'll have the champagne ready.
Don't go!
Over here.
How did you get here?
By the staircase.
Follow me.
You've walked right into it.
Don't try to run away.
We were just looking for you.
We've got a time bomb on us
which will explode in an hour's time.
By that time, all the money will be gone.
Is the money genuine or counterfeit?
You want us to tell the truth or not?
The truth of course!
Then it's counterfeit money!
Bg ll!
Hurry, go and rescue your buddy.
Looks great, what's that?
It's a magic box!
Okay.
Don't block my sight.
He failed.
You mean that plane.
I mean your magic box.
Shit, watch this.
What's that?
A mini, long-distance,
cross-country, super speed rocket.
What's that?
I don't even know myself.
Press the button, here we go...
You wanna kill yourself?
I nearly lost my life.
You should face danger fearlessly.
You told me to face danger fearlessly.
Sometimes it depends on circumstances.
Keep calm.
Only a heap of junk left.
Don't underestimate this.
Great heroes
have risen from junk heaps.
Just like you and me.
I didn't.
That's why you're not a hero.
The stars of the show
are in a bomb shelter of the box.
Is that a windmill?
A radar control.
The Hong Kong bunters, here comes samurai.
Samirai, don't be afraid
king Kong.
Peter Pan.
- Horsey, froggie.
- It's fun.
Man with the golden gun.
Give him a hand, fattle.
Wake up, yoho!
Hold it for me.
Where are you going?
Beat him while he's down.
Get on with the attack.
Bomber ant, give him a hand.
Dear friends, I salute you!
Time's up, if you don't go now.
They'll be saying goodbye forever of us!
There's no time!
It's my turn now!
Go get that guy to deluse the bomb first.
Help! I'm here
where?
There!
Come down!
Please defuse the bomb for us.
No, black gloves tied me up there!
I can't move!
Let's go and find Nancy ho
she'll get an explosives expert to do it.
Okay...!
A rocket.
Jump off.
Let me do it, get in.
Hurry up.
Coming...
Get on it.
Don't worry, I'm great on bicycles.
Over there. I
I thought you knew how to ride a bike.
Gosh, he's coming again.
Have we arrived?
Yes, we have.
Pull up.
Your driver's licence.
Sorry sir!
Now go and find another car. Shit!
Great, how many more rockets are there?
One.
That will kill him.
Look.
They're still alive, what now?
You go ahead first.
Hurry up... stand back.
It's a fake.
Where's baldy?
How does it look?
I can't take it apart.
Have a seat!
Go away, the bomb will explode
any minute. Go away!
The explosive expert is coming.
It's too late.
You sit down for a while!
Go away!
They're bound to know how to dismantle it.
So don't worry!
Me worried? I'm a hero,
I do not fear death!
I'll make my comeback in time.
What about me?
You'll be an old lady then.
We're just not made for each other.
Go away...!
We'll meet again in another life.
Wait for me!
I won't go away!
After all, I'm yours now,
forever and ever!
I don't care whether
it's an atomic bomb that's on you
whatever happens, we won't be separated!
I wanna say something which I never thought
was possible for me to say.
I'll say it now.
Come on then.
Honey, I love you!
Albert!
Don't cry!
It's a sign of a weak person.
It won't help anyway!
I don't want to die so soon!
Honey, ll've been very loyal to you.
I didn't fool around. I've
only thought about it!
It's alright. In future,
don't even think about it!
Madam, the explosives expert is here.
Bring him in.
Yes madam
Where's baldy?
He's inside the sand bags.
Is the bomb defused?
The explosives expert just arrived.
Don't be afraid, I'm the
expplosives expert FBI.
I don't care whether it's
a rime bomb, a sex bomb
an atomic bomb, hydrogen
bomb or a stink bomb;
I know how to take them apart.
You can't go in!
Don't do that! He's a mad nutcase!
He's a nutcase!
Where's the bomb?
I did it. I've dismantled the bomb!
Watch out!
- Are you o.K.?
- Sure!
I'm fb. I
interpol, gestapo and the avengers
comrade, we kill the baddies,
we've got so many things to do.
Are you ready?
All set!
Let's go! Bi boo, bi boo...!