Ma and Pa Kettle at the Fair (1952) - full transcript

Ma and Pa are trying to raise enough money at the county fair to send their daughter Rosie to college. Ma competes in baking and Pa enters a trotter in a horse race, while Rosie takes up with handsome young Marvin Johnson.

[ Egg Cracking]

I may have to take it in
a bit about the hips.

But when I get it done, there won't be a
prettier dressed girl at the graduation.

This ruf?e looks
about right. There, now.

Don't ya think you should've fitted it on Rosie?
She's doin' the graduatin'.

Well, she don't know I'm makin' it.
Stand back a bit.

Now walk over to me. Aw, land
sakes, Pa, walk like a girl!

Oh, Ma, that's askin' too much. You're
doin' it for your daughter, ain't ya?

Now walk like Rosie.

Oh, if she walked like that,
I'd disown her.

Oh, Ma, I never watched
how girls walk nowadays.



Well, they walk nowadays like they did in your days.
You've seen me walk, ain't ya?

Well, then walk like me.

If I wasn't afraid of my bread in
the oven fallin', I'd lambast ya!

Oh, Ma,
I didn't mean nothin'.

Flag's down in the mail box.
Wonder what it is.

The best way I know offindin'
out is to walk out and see.

Rosie can bring it when she
comes back from school.

Rosie didn't go to school.
She went uptown.

The kids can bring it before they go to school.
They've gone to school.

And Tom and his wife and baby live in another town.
Maybe the garbage man--

He's been here, and so's the
phone, gas and electric man.

And incidentally, they
left their final bills.

I gue-eess I'd better go
and get the mail.

I gue-eess
you'd better.



And don't slam the door!
I don't want my bread to fall!

[ Door Opens ]

Howdy.

Must be Pa's sister
from Portland.

Pa?
HOW!

Helpin' Ma, that's how. Our catalog
come from mail order place?

We buyum Indian blanket wholesale,
sell 'em at fair retail.

Here's your catalog.
What'd you getum, Pa?

I got a package of porcelain
cement to fix up the bathtub.

And here's an envelope from the
college Rosie wants to go to.

See ya later, Pa. Oh, Geoduck,
l-l-l've been wonderin'.

How is it that you and Crowbar
don't make blankets yourself?

We can't make handmade blankets if
we ain't got machine to make 'em on.

You got a point there.

Well, as usual, I see Ma's wearing
the pants in your family.

Uh, for Rosie's graduation.
Ma's makin' it, on me.

It looks lovely.
How is Ma?

Right fit. She's in the house
now bakin' some bread.

- Workin' on a new recipe for the contest.
- She'll certainly need one.

You and Ma are gonna be pretty stiff
competition at the county fair again.

If you remember rightly, it was f
who won last year. $0 you did.

Good day, Birdie.
Mother Hicks.

Good day.
Good day.

Mmm. Birdie Hicks better look to her
laurels this year. [Door Opens]

Here's the--

When you went out the front door,
didn't I tell you not to slam it?

Well, yes, but you didn't say
anything about the back door.

Pa Kettle, I--
Here's the mail, Ma.

Oh, it's for Rosie,
from Sheridan College.

She's sure got her heart set on goin' to college.
Well, I think that's fine.

All our kids
is goin' to college.

Might I ask what we're gonna
use for money?

We won't have no money worries when you win
the bread and jam contest at the fair.

Why, with Billy Reed sellin' the prizejam
all over these parts like he promised,

we'll have the money
for Rosie in no time.

Don't slam that--

Pa Kettle, why don't ya--

[ Rosie]
Ma, was there any mail?

I'm bringin' it.
Quick, Pa, that's Rosie.

Get that dress off before she sees it.
I'll hold her up.

Oh, hello, Rosie. Look what just come for ya.
it's from the college.

Oh, it must be the catalog.
It is.

It's a waste of time to read it.
Well, why, honey?

I thought you was longin' to go off to college.
Oh, not anymore.

I've had enough schooling.

Besides, it'd be too much
expense for you and Pa.

Hey, Ma! Have you got an empty
tin I can put somethin' in?

There's some on the shelf, Pa!
Look up there!

Well, Rosie, if you're not goin' to
school anymore, what do you want to do?

I'm going to get ajOb.

Graduate from high school one
week and go to work the next.

Ain't ya ever gonna take a vacation?
Oh, Ma.

How many times do I have
to tell you about ?ain't??

Now, listen. I am not
going to take a vacation.

You are not going
to take a vacation.

We are not going to take a vacation.
Understand Ma?

Oh, sure, honey. Ain't nobody gonna
take a vacation, 'cept your pa.

I Pa 1
Ma.

How 'bout usin'
the checkered tin?

Any one that's empty!

I looked for work today but couldn't find anything.
I'm going to Turnersville to look.

Turnersville? That's 2O miles from here.
Why go so far?

Because there isn't a job in Cape Flattery,
not when you're Pa Kettle's daughter.

- Why, Rosie.
- Well, it'; true, Ma.

No one'll hire me for fear Pa will want
to come borrowing around the store.

I could have gotten a couple of
jobs, but they wouldn't pay me.

Not until I worked off all Pa owed them.
Why is he such a failure?

Uh--
Well, now, Rosie,

I wouldn't say
your pa's such a failure.

[ Rosie] Well, he certainly
isn't a success.

Well... maybe we can call him
a successful failure.

It ain't been easy for Pa.
He's had 15 mouths to feed.

Most men work night and day, barely makin'
ends meet with only three in the family.

Your pa don't work at all, he's got 15 and
our ends meet. He's a remarkable man.

- You kno w some t/nhg: Ma?
- W h a t ?

I thinkyou're right.
[Chuckles]

How's my remarkable pa?

Well, what's this, Ma?
My graduation present?

Pa, Rosie's been figurin' a bit
different about goin' to college.

Well, I don't know if her figurin'
and mine will add up to the same,

but I've been thinkin' that
instead of dependin' entirely...

on winning thejam contest
and Billy Reed selling it,

I got a plan to get her
college money someplace else.

Oh, Pa, have you really figured out some way?
I sure have, Rosie.

Well, I'm going right in and
start reading that catalog.

All right, Pa. Let's have your figurin'.
How you gonna get some money?

I figured I'd borrow the money on this house.
You borrowed all you can get.

Well, then I'll borrow
the money on the old house.

Don't you remember, Pa?

You borrowed money on the old house to make
payments on money you borrowed on this house.

Oh. Then I'll borrow
on my insurance.

You borrowed all you can on your insurance to
pay the money you borrowed on the old house...

to make the payments on the money
you borrowed on this house. See?

Sure got myself into a vicious circle, didn't I?
We'll find a way, Ma.

While you're findin' ways, find one that'll get
Billy Reed to fill that list of groceries.

I don't figure
he'll do it, Ma.

Billy's been kinda hintin'
he'd like to get paid.

?Kinda hintin?? He said not to come in
the store again unless I had money.

Well, take him some eggs.
He'll swap for eggs.

If we could just find another
plow horse like old Nellie,

there might be some farmin' goin' on
around here and a little money comin' in.

Yeah, it's too bad
Nellie died.

Sure would like to find another
horse to take her place.

'Tain't easy pullin' that
plow across the field.

You're not as young
as you used to be, Ma.

[Chuckles]

Good morning, Pa.
Good morning.

Howdy, Zeb.

Howdy.

Howdy.
Morning, Pa.

Hcawdy.
[ Car Skidding]

[ Car Crashing]
[ Man Grunts]

[Grunting Continues]

I'm sorry, old man, but it
really wasn't my fault.

We'll call the officer and let him decide.
I'll tell him this man's story.

You and your wife can give him your version.
Hmm? My wife?

Oh, oh, yes, well-- CouldnT
we settle this out of court?

It might prove embarrassing--
Well,you know what I mean.

I'll settle for anything reasonable.
I'm a fair man.

- Would $500 be all right?
- Five hundred? okay rm; fixkman.

Two, three,
four, five.

[Bell Rings]

Howdy, Billy.
Hello, Pa.

Here's a list of stuff Ma wants.
What's my bill to date? Okay.

24... 95.

Make it an even 25.

Can I use
your phone, Billy?

Yeah. And I can use a little of your
money to settle that bill of yours.

I'm arrangin' for money to send Rosie
to college; I'll have some for you too,

quicker than an auto horn
can let out a peep.

[Phone Ringing]

Operator, get me Ben
Simpson, the attorney.

Ben, do you handle
accident cases?

Good. Come down in front of Billy Reed's store.
There'll be a case for you.

[Phone Ringing]

Operator, get me the Cape
Flattery Community Hospital.

Yeah, right away.

Hello, Hospital?

Send an ambulance down in front of
Billy Reed's store. Auto accident.

When did it happen?
Any minute now.

[ Horn Honking]

[Horn Honking]

[ Horn Honking]
[ Tires Skidding]

[ Car Crashing]

[ Tires Skidding,
Car Crashing]

[ Tires Skidding,
Car Crashing]

[ Horn Honking]

[indistinct Talking]

Hey, what happened?
I don't know.

[ Siren Blaring] Well, good
thing I ordered an ambulance.

There, boy.

Clem, Peter]. is as pretty a piece of
horse ?esh that I've seen in many a year.

You'll sure give Birdie a good run
for the harness racing prize.

Birdie's got a fine horse in Dixie,
but with my boy here running,

she'll stand as much chance
of winning as old Emma.

That's something we keep under our
hats, on account of the betting odds.

Let 'em make Dixie the favorite, and
we can win some money. [Chuckling]

Ed, look.
It's Pa Kettle.

Seems mighty
interested in Emma.

Well, if you ain't lucky. lfanybodyii give
you 2O bucks for poor old Emma, it's Pa.

[Chuck/mg]
Hello, Pa.

Howdy, Clem. Howdy, Ed.
Howdy, Pa.

What can I do for ya? Oh, not a thing, Ed.
just passing by.

Heard about Nellie, Pa. Sure sorry.
Nellie was a good horse.

Yeah. You'll be needin'
another horse now.

I haven't given it much thought. Well, I sorta
half-decided to sell that horse outside.

Did you see it?
I can'! say as I did.

It's right in front. Oh, you mean that
old tired bag of bones out there?

He's too old to be standin'.
He's ready for a rockin' chair.

He's a she.
You don't say.

That horse is a right fine buy, Pa.
That's my old horse, Emma.

No. Is that Emma?
Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Well, she sure has aged. She's
got four perfect shoes.

Only three. The one on the left
hind foot has a nail missin'.

Thought you didn't take
a look at the horse.

Well-- Well, I didn't.

You can't help but notice a thing like that
when it's right in front of your eyes.

Saddest lookin' critter
lever did see.

Mighty poor piece of horse ?esh.
The price is $50.

With a mild winter, it might
last till spring. Fifty dollars.

I bet that horse is dead right
now; just too tired to lay down.

Fifty dollars, and at
that price it's a steal.

I'll split the difference and give you 20.
How's that splitting?

Well,you want 50,
but you'll take 25.

I offered ten
but I'll pay 15.

And splitting the difference
between 15 and 25 is 20.

Okay, Pa, you bought yourself Miss Emma.
I'll take the $20 now.

Oh, I-l don't have the cash.
I'm a little short.

Try comin' around sometime
when you're a little long.

I could've haggled with
someone who had money.

Clem, you've tried Ma's
jam, haven't you? Yeah.

Like it? Yes, but I
can't eat $20 worth.

No, that's not what I mean. Food prizes at the
fair gonna be bigger than ever this year:

$150 for thejam,
$150 for the bread prize.

For $20, I'll sellyou
half-interest in Ma. Huh?

Ma would be glad to give
up 50% for a horse.

She'd dearly love a horse to
haul her to church on Sunday.

And she's a cinch to win
the $150 for herjam.

And for the $20 you invest,
you'll get back $75,

and that's better
than 6%.

Okay, Pa.

The horse is yours
for 50% of Ma.

Take the buckboard with you. I'll send
my boy Marvin over to pick it up Sunday.

Thanks, Clem. So long, Ed.
So long, Pa.

I told you Pa'd buy her,
didn't I?

My conscience would hurt me if I didn't
know Pa and Ma'll treat her good.

Hey, Pa.
You missed it.

A bunch of cars run into each other
right smack-dab in front of my store.

Anybody say how it happened? No, all
the drivers have a different story.

They say a jaywalker caused it. If they found
out who done it, they could get a pretty penny.

Well, now,
I have my doubts about that.

Whose horse and rig 070' you borrow?
Rig?; berm wen'.

- The horse I made a deal on.
- New, Pa.

You know, I've been nice about my bill.
Oh, tut-tut-tut, Billy.

I didn't put out no money.

Besides, Ma sent over some eggs
to swap you and I clean forgot.

I don't mind if I do, Billy. What are they?
Okay, Pa. Have a candy.

Any, uh... lime?

I'll get one for ya.
[Rattling]

[Whinnying Wildly]
Whoa!

Whoa.
She's fidgety.

You'd better keep a tight line on her, Pa.
I'll get the lime forya.

- [ Rattling 1
{Ne/ghing]

I Pa 1
Whoa! Whoa!

What's ailin' him?
Got no idea.

I'd better get them eggs for ya. lfl drive home
with 'em, Emma's liable to make me break 'em.

I didn't know Emma had that much life left in her.
Maybel should've warned Pa.

Emma was bit by a rattler. lust a little
rattlin' noise is enough to set her off.

If I could give you a dozen
chickens instead of a dozen eggs,

and the chickens
laid an egg every day,

that'd be 365 eggs a year
for each chicken,

or nearly
4,000 eggs a year.

I could pay up your bill
in no time.

I forgot my eggs.
Here you are, Billy.

Okay, Pa.
[ Tweeting]

[Clears Throat] Looks like I'm
startin' to get out of debt.

[Bell Chiming]

Hey, Pa!
[Chattering]

Did you ever see such
a disgraceful sight?

Looks like they're having fun.
Mother.

It's a pleasure to see children come
to church with smiles on their faces.

It wouldn't hurt for grown-ups
to smile a bit too.

Well, I could never smile at the
antics of those Kettle ruffians.

The reason is you've never had any children
of your own. You should get married.

I never intend to marry. That's another
reason you'll never have any children.

[ Bell Continues Chiming]

First one of you starts cuttin' up in church is
goin' to get the hairbrush and you know where.

You must be Mrs. Kettle. I'm
Marvinjohnson, Clem's boy.

- Well, haven't you growed?
- Ma!

Not growed. Grown. Hmm. What
have I got to groan about. Pa!

Pa! Pa,
this is Clem's boy.

Oh, howdy. I suppose you come after the buckboard.
I took it up to the house.

Oh, Dad says there's no hurry about returning it.
Well, thanks, son.

Tell your dad not to worry.
I always return things I borrow.

Providin' folks come after 'em.
Won't you sit with us?

Oh, well, I'd like to,
Mrs. Kettle, but--

Rosie, get the children
started inside.

About church, Mrs. Kettle, I'd be very
happy to join you. May I take you inside?

Oh, well,
that's nice of you now.

[Weakly]
Brothers and sisters,

I fully intended to preach
my sermon today...

just as-- [Coughs]
just as I have...

for the past 25 years
in this church.

But for once,

I must fail you.

I must rely upon
some good brother...

to volunteer to replace me...
for today.

[Snapping]
[Gasps]

Thank you, Brother Kettle.

Thank you.

I don't know how to preach a sermon.
I can't quote from scriptures.

Although I know all the words, I
wouldn't know how to put them together.

But I can speak
from my heart.

I can say how thankful I am...

that I have Ma and my kids.

I'm thankful for the food we get
and the clothes we wear.

A lot of folks are always
askin' God for something...

instead of being thankful
for what they've got.

I figure if He wants you
to have it,

it'll come because
you deserve it.

He gave us the mountains,
the trees,

the water
and the fertile land.

He gave men the ability
to make things...

and grow things.

He put gold and silver,
coal and oil under the ground.

All man has to do
is dig 'em up.

Why, I figure...

that He kinda wants you
to help yourself a little;

He don't wanna do it all.

If I found out
right now...

there was oil under my land,
would I be lazy?

No, sir. Right away,
I'd get Geoduck and Crowbar...

to start digging
an oil well.

The whole world could be
a better place to live in...

if everybody
would do like I do.

Each morning,
when I wake up, I say,

?I thank you, God, for letting
me live to see another day.?

And at night,
when I go to bed, I say,

?Dear God, please let me live
to see another tomorrow...

?sol can prove to You
that I can be a better man...

than I have been today.?

Amen.

Thank you.

We will now sing
hymn number 78.

S.? I Ofgim]

? Sowing in the morning ?

? Sowing seeds of kindness ?

? Sowing in the noontide
and the dewy eve ?

? Waiting for the harvest ?

;And the time of reaping ?

;We shall come rejoicing ?

? Bringing in the sheaves ?

? Bringing in the sheaves ?

? Bringing in the sheaves ?

;We shall come rejoicing ?

? Bringing in the sheaves ?

? Bringing in the sheaves ?

? Bringing in the sheaves ?

;We shall come rejoicing ?

? Bringing in the sheaves ??

S.? I Ofgim]

[Clinking]

[Clinking Continues]

G,' [Continues]

Good morning. Good
morning, Marvin.

I suppose you're entering the contest.
I sure am.

I'm gonna be in the bread and jam contest.
Dad's entering his horse Peter].

Entering a horse
in ajam contest?

Marvin means
the harness meet.

Harness meat? My goodness, what
are they gonna cook up next?

We'd better be gettin' on with the enterin'.
Thejam contests tomorrow.

Oh, well,
I'll wait out here, Pa.

You gonna make an entry? I
don't know about an entry,

but I'm gonna make an entrance if you get out
of the doorway. See you at thejam contest.

Too bad your horse
is too old.

I'd love to see her
race my horse, Dixie.

If Dixie can run as fast as your tongue
can wag, you'll sure win the race.

Well, Rosie Kettle
and Marvinjohnson.

Marvin, didn't you used to go
with Ben Simpson's daughter?

I did.
but I don't anymore.

My mom says you used to go with Dad,
till she took him away from you.

Will I see you at the fair?
If you look hard enough.

Don't worry.
I will.

[Chattering]

Here we are. You enter me in the bread
makin' and I'll go enter thejam contest.

There you are, Mrjohnson. Peter]. is
officially entered in the race. Thanks.

And I expect him
to be the winner.

Hello. Well, good morning. Would
you like to make an entry?

Yes, sir.
Name?

Kettle. Ma Kettle. Entry?

Crabapple-plum.
Nice name.

Age?
Do I have to tell?

The entry calls for it.
Age? Fifty-two.

Oh, come now, you'rejoshing. It
couldn't be over 21. Oh, now.

Well, there. I guess that
takes care of everything.

If I win, I'll bring you
some of my entry in a jar.

Oh, that would be delightful.
Thank you.

,','[Carnival] [Man ] Here
you are, here you are!

[People Chattering]

Two tickets, please.

[Children Laughing]

Make it 13 more.

Step right up. Take a ride
in the Tunnel of Love.

Just ten cents for a ride.

Step right up, folks.

Take a ride in
the Tunnel of Love.

Sure was dark in there. Could
hardly find you to kiss you.

Say, Ma, since when did you start usin' lip rouge?
I ain't never used lip rouge.

Since when did you start raisin' a moustache?
Why, I shaved clean this morning.

Howdy.

Come on, Pa, let's go
over to thejam contest.

Oh, Pa, I'm so nervous.

The judges have been smackin' their
lips over thatjam for an hour.

Wouldn't ya know Birdie Hicks'd
be right up there in front.

Twenty-seven.

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
your attention, please.

The winner of the 112m contest is...
Ma Kettle,

for her crabapple plum.
Ma'.!

- Come right up, Ma.
- [Applause]

Let me have your entry blank so that
I can attach the prize-winning seal.

Then you can collect
your money.

Pardon me.

Uh, we regret to announce that
Ma Kettle has been disqualified.

Dis- Disquali- Wh-What do
you mean, ?disqualified?

This form is for the harness
race, Ma, not thejam contest.

You've got a horse entered,
not jam. Sorry, Ma.

The prize goes to Miss Birdie
Hicks for her lemon-strawberry.

[Applause]

I'm so mad
I could hit somebody.

Never mind. I'll round up
the kids and we'll go home.

I'll meet you
at the entrance.

Indian electric blankets.
Wholesale at retail price.

Howdy, boys.
H I, Pa.

Seen the kids?
No, Pa.

How's business? Nobody
buy an electric blanket.

I'll put
a plug in for you.

Getum genuine Indian electric blanket.
Wholesale at retail price.

What's the voltage?
Voltage?

How many watts?
What's watts?

Watts are what's in the blanket. What's more,
the more watts, the warmer the blanket.

Who you,
Abbott and Costello?

[Both Men Laughing]

Step right up and getum genuine
Indian electric blanket.

Plug in and keep
yourwigwam.

Did you say electric blanket? My,
you Indians are really modern.

Genuine Indian blanket!

How is it if they're genuine Indian blankets,
this label says ?Made in Cleveland??

Didn't you ever hear
of the Cleveland Indians?

- Do they make good blankets?
- They had a lot on the ball.

I never heard of that tribe.
What's their chief's name?

Greenberg.
Hank Greenberg.

Greenberg?
What's his Indian name?

Indian name:
Who's On First?

Hmm. This label says,
?Made in Washington, D.C.?

Don't tell me this was made
by the Cleveland Indians. No.

Washington Redskins.
And who is their leader?

- Slingin' Sammy.
- Slinging Sammy what?

Baugh!
? Bah? to you too.

Get your genuine Indian
electric blanket.

We finally got away
from 'em.

Gimme two vanilla ice cream
sodas, please. [Laughing]

Make it 13 more!

Make it two! You kids come home
before you spoil your dinner.

Leave Rosie and Marvin alone.
Oh, Ma.

One ice cream soda won't spoil our dinner.
Well, all right.

One ice cream soda...
and 13 straws.

[Children]
Oh, Ma!

All right, knock him cuckoo and get a cuckoo clock.
Five balls for a quarter.

How 'bout it, neighbor? Oh,
I owe this to the church,

but a clock
would cheer Ma up a bit.

You just toss 'em in and win yourself
a nice cuckoo clock. There you are.

There's the quarter.
Thank you very much.

Toss 'em right in there now. That's the idea.
Lay it right on.

Now, you've got the-- Whoops. A little bit
to the left that time. It's ball one.

Now, just-- Well, look at that.
That's very close.

That'; the idea. Now, you got it.
Settle down now.

All right. This looks like this
is the ball that's gonna do it.

[Man] Hey! [Groans]

Maybe he's hurt, Ma.
Well, better go see.

You just won a beautiful cuckoo clock, Ma'am.
[Children Gasping]

Put that ball down. Aw,
Ma, lemme throw a strike.

The man's all right, Ma.

Don't worry, Ma.

It ain'tjust losin' the prize
money that worries me.

Now that myjam ain't officially the
prizejam, Billy Reed won't be sellin' it.

Guess he'll be peddlin'
Birdie's jam instead.

We'll have to find some other way
ofsendin' Rosie off to college.

Don't worry about me.
I can get a job.

How could I be so dumb as to enter
that horse instead of myjam?

Oh, it's all my fault. lfl hadn't bought
the horse, it wouldn't have happened.

I ain't no good.
Oh, yes, you are.

No, I ain't. We've been
married some 24 years,

and what have we got
to show for it?

Hey, you kids, turn off that
television and go to bed.

[ Ma]
It's gonna be all right, Pa.

I still got the bread contest. Maybe
that'll get Rosie started off to college.

Sure, Ma. Well, now I gotta
go do some bread bakin'.

That's your ma for ya.

Always gotta keep busy.

I got it, Rosie!

Your worries are all over. I'll
collect my unemployment insurance.

Pa, you haven't
been employed for years.

Well, that's what I mean. I should have a
big chunk of unemployment insurance coming.

But, Pa,you-- you have to work before
you can get unemployment insurance.

Work. That's just like
them politicians;

always puttin' a lot of red tape
before a man can get something.

Good night, Pa.

I could have sworn I had ?our on
that list Pa took to Billy Reed's.

Ah. Oh, he put it
in the wrong tin.

[ Doorbell Rings ]
Pa, answer the door!

I'm gettin' it, Ma.

Compliments of Birdie Hicks. Well,
that's real nice of Birdie. Thanks.

What is it, Pa? Basket
from Birdie Hicks.

Well, what's in it?

Liniment. Vitamin pills. Tonic.

Bandage.
And a note.

?Dearest Ma, just a few things that'll
help get your horse to the track.

I'd have sent crutches too, but
they wouldn't fit in the basket.?

She would've, huh?

Operator. Operator!
Gimme Birdie Hicks!

I know her number's in the book, but
I ain't got time to look it up.

And tell all the nosy people on this party line to listen.
What I say ain't no secret!

[ Phone Ringing]

Hello?

Oh. Ma Kettle.
And how are you this evening?

Oh, I'm just fine,
thank you.

I got your basket, and I'm
sure glad you sent it,

'cause after Emmy wins the race, I'm gonna use
the liniment, vitamin pills and tonic on you!

And tie the bandages around your nose to
keep it out of other people's business!

- Well!
- If you or your horse gets in my horse's way,

I'm gonna run you down, and you'll
have to use those crutches,

you sneakin', snoopin',
back-bitin'-- [Birdie Hangs Up]

Hello? Hello? I wonder what I
said that made her hang up.

It ain't good forya to get riled up like that, Ma.
Oh, I can't help it, Pa.

That's one woman that keeps this Kettle boilin'!
Did ya hear that?

?Keeps this Kettle boilinl? What's the matter?
Ain't you got a sense of humor?

Not at a time like this.
Emma's no racer.

We couldn't race Emma against
Dixie or any other racehorse.

I'm tired ofhearin' you say you can't
do this and you can't do that.

I'll bet they told George Washington he
couldn't build that big bridge in New York,

but he built it,
didn't he?

I'll bet they told Mr. Mead he couldn't make
that big lake, but he made it, didn't he?

All right, we're gonna make Emmy a racehorse.
And we'll start right now!

Get that stuff
outta here!

I got to go to
my bread makin'.

She'll be comin' down the
homestretch any minute now, Ma.

You think the extra lap
will be too much?

No, Ma.
No harm in tryin'.

[ Dog Barking]

Get those four legs off the
ground and keep runnin'!

[Both Panting]
Ohh!

You still run faster
than Emma.

Now, Emma, will you
please pay attention?

Run around the track once more
to make sure Emma gets the idea.

Pa, please,
no more.

We run
four miles now.

Emma do
nothin' but walk.

She no racehorse. She's
gonna be in that race...

if I have to tie wheels on her
and push her around the track.

[Dog Barking] [ Geoduck] H0 w!

[Together] How! Who's that?

Him, he big medicine
man our tribe.

I send for him.
Maybe help Emma.

Very powerful man.

How. Any way you want to,
just so you make her run.

Mmm. Take heap
powerful medicine.

No.

Ah.

This big medicine. Make
weak strong, coward brave.

Make slow fast.

The main thing is to make
Ma win and Birdie lose.

You now
heap powerful racehorse.

[Rattling]
[Whinnying]

Whoa, Emmy!

[Whinnying Continues]

Huh.

She ran away with Ma.
Now what'll we do?

This heap
big medicine.

You want wife back,
you getum.

You want lose wife,
you loseum.

Me know.
Me four-time loser.

She still look for me.
Ugh.

Holy smoke!
Clear that road!

[Screams]

Whoa!

Whoa, Dixie.

- Whoa! Get that thing out of the way!
- Back up, Dixie, back up!

[Whinnying]
Whoa, Emma!

- Whoa!
- Ma Kettle!

Whoa! Whoa, Emma!

Whoa!

Whoa, Emma!

Whoa!

Please behave yourself,
Emma!

Hah! Hold it! Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa, Emma!

Ma, please come back safe.
Please come back safe.

She be back, Pa.

She might have thrown me
a towel!

[ Dog Barking]
Whoa'.!

Whoa!

You're safe! And you
brought Emma back!

I did not!
Emma brought me back.

She sure can run
when she wants to.

Trouble is, we never know
when she'll want to.

If you gonna race Emma, you gotta
have something to ride in.

Gotta have horse race cart. I know
the very thing: Billy Reed's sulky.

You can't blame him
for being sulky.

If it was me you owed money
to, I'd be downright mad.

Now, unhitch her and put
her up in the barn.

[ Billy] How do you like it, Pa?

It's smart. Right smart.
[Grunting]

Pull easy when Emma's
sore feet feel good.

You're not actually going through
with this race. I sure am, Billy.

How much for the sulky?

You owed me 25 dollars; Ma's
list brought it up to 30.

And the sulky's worth 20.
That'll be 5O dollars.

I'll need some cash
for odds and ends.

Suppose you give me 25,
and that'll make my bill 75.

I've only got I O dollars. Well,
give me the I O, you'll owe me I 5.

I'll oweyou l5?
You owe me 5O dollars!

Now, Billy, let's not
change the subject.

All I can give you
is five dollars.

Well, give me the five, and you'll
owe me twenty. Now, look, Pa--

Fair's fair, Billy. How much
did I ask for? 25 dollars.

How much you gonna give me?
Five.

Well, that makes
2O you owe me.

Take that 2O off the 5O I owe
you, and I'll owe you 3O dollars.

Just make out a receipt, though.
Hmm.

Now, look, Pa, you're not
going to outsmart me.

The sulky's gotta be
a cash deal.

I'll give you 5O percent of
everything Ma makes at the fair.

Ma's already lost
thejam contest.

But this afternoon's the bread contest.
You've tasted Ma's bread.

Yeah. Okay, Pa, the sulky's
yours for half interest in Ma,

but only because I don't want to miss
seeing you driving this sulky...

with Emma trying to pull it.
[Laughing]

You ought to put Emma in the driver's
seat and you do the pulling!

[Laughing]

Billy, what's that got to do with the
five dollars you was gonna give me?

Oh, that's right.
Excuse me, Pa.

Thanks, Billy.
Take it away, boys.

More salt, Rosie. We would
get a horse with sore feet.

Emma ain't used to
runnin' on hard ground.

Emma isn't used to running, period.
[ Pa ] Ma!

[ Dog Barking]
Whoa'.!

It's your pa.
You stay here.

And don't let
the water boil over.

It's ajim-dandy,
ain't it, Ma?

How'd it ride comin' from Billy Reed's?
Pretty good.

I'll tell you better
after we get Emma in it.

Take it away, boys, and
take good care of it.

Didjeb Harris, Fred
Hunter andjim Sully...

send them things over for Emma?
Yep.

But they want 'em back by Saturday.
How's Emma feeling?

Just like a woman.

Sure loves
to soak her feet.

[Grunting]

Whew.

Don't bother
pussyfootin', Pa.

I'm jinxed; all clay I been turning
out bricks instead of bread.

T n} and ?it that' n
out of the oven.

Heavy, huh?
ltsure is, Ma.

Oh, leave it be!

I tell ya, Pa,
I'm hexed!

I guess this won't be a Kettle year at the fair.
They can't count us out yet.

We still got the harness race
and the medicine man's charm.

Em mys gonna need a lot of
charm; she ain't run but once.

She'll run. Geoduck and Crowbar's
gonna have her in shipshape.

This ain't a boat race,
it's a horse race.

[ Doorbell Rings ]
Who could that be?

Pa, get these loaves
outta here.

Make me sick
to look at 'em.

You'd think they was made out
of cement instead of ?our.

Geoduck! Crowbar!
Come on in!

I got somethi n'
for ya.

Oh, Marvin, well, it's good to see ya.
Hello, Ma.

I came by to see if Rosie could go to
the fair again. Won't that be nice.

Sit down
and I'll call her.

Um, Rosie, Marvin's here
to take you to the fair!

Come on down!

Would you mind hauling this bread away for Ma?
No. Ma fine lady.

Load it onto the wagon with the hay
that you're taking to the track...

and then
dump it someplace.

That is,
if you don't want it.

Get this bread
out of here.

Don't want Marvin to see it. It'll
disgrace Rosie. [Crunching]

Just like my mama used to make.
[Crunching]

Well, hurry up
and get it outta here.

What am I going to do?

Ma's determined to race Emma
just to spite Birdie Hicks.

We'll be the laughingstock of the town.
Don't be so sure, Rosie.

What do you mean? Birdie Hicks is
liable to be the laughingstock.

Her horse Dixie doesn't stand a chance.
Did I hear you right?

Yes, ma'am. Birdie doesn't know it yet,
but her horse is gonna lose bya mile.

You think Emma's that good? Oh, not Emma.
Peter}, my dad's new horse.

Bought him in Missouri. Won
every prize there last year.

Well, that ought to bring
Birdie down a peg or two.

I wasn't supposed to say anything;
Dad wanted to keep it a secret.

No wonder. He's probably ashamed of
the way he took advantage of Pa.

My dad didn't take
advantage of your pa.

He sold him
a broken-down horse.

He didn't know your ma was
gonna enter her in a race.

Besides, Emma was a pretty fair trotter in her day.
How long ago was that?

12 years ago.
12years?

Well, if that isn't swindling,
I don't-- Now, Rosie.

I'll be satisfied if
Birdie Hicks gets beat.

It was nice of Marvin to tell us about Peter].
That's the trouble.

You and Pa are always
satisfied with everything.

That's why we never
have anything.

That wasn't a nice way
to talk to your mother.

It wasn't a nice way to talk
to Marvin either. I'm sorry.

All right.
kiss and make up.

Not him! Me!

We best be
gettin' on.

Come to the track; we're
gonna give Emma a workout.

Get your things. Come on.
I ain't goin'.

Well, not even to try
the bread contest, Ma?

Not with the luck
I been havin'.

What can you lose?
Don't cost nothing.

They giveyou
the ?our and all.

And here, I'll give you
the Indian good luck charm.

I'll need more'n a good luck
charm; I'm just plain hexed!

You can't
give up now, Ma.

Oh, all right. But I know Birdie
Hicks has got a spell on me.

We'll see you at the fair.
Oh, uh, Ma! Ma.

You'll remember not to say anything about Peter].
My mouth's a closed book.

[Whispering] Now, Lucy, remember,
not a word to anybody,

but I know it'd be all
right to tell you.

Birdie is so high and mighty
about that horse of hers,

it'll serve her right when Peter].
comes in first.

Remember, not a word.
My lips are sealed.

Sarah.
What?

Peter?
Shh!

My lips are sealed.

Hello. How's it corn I n', Ma?

Should be done. Well,
let's have a look at it.

Hey, that's a beauty.

Yeah.
just try liftin' it.

Light as a feather.

It sure is.
Smells wonderful.

Yeah? That's quite an entry, Ma.

Looks like a prize loaf.
Well, I'll be--

Two minutes
and 11 seconds.

Not bad, Miss Hicks. Faster than
yesterday, but Dixie can do much better.

You tryin' to set a record?
just wanted to do my best.

Let's see
if we can find Pa.

Hello. Hello, Miss Hicks.
Have you seen my father?

He's around here someplace, if he didn't
get lost coming around the far turn.

[Horse Galloping,
Whinnying]

[ Rosie ]
Oh, here's Pa.

Darn it, Emma,
make up your mind.

One minute you Charleston, the next
minute you try to do a square dance.

Get over there, Emma.
Get over.

Howdy, fol ks.
Howdy, Birdie.

I thought you'd be at
the bread baking contest.

I won thejam contest, and
I'm going to win the race,

sol can afford to let somebody
else win the bread contest;

some unfortunate who could
use the prize money.

Well, the Kettles
can use the bread money.

And far as the race is concerned,
me and Emma'll be there.

We'd be glad to have you
in the race, Pa.

Well, thank you,
Birdie.

At every fair
there should be a clown.

Guess you're right,
Birdie.

And Ma says every fair
has a freak.

[Giggling] I'm glad you
talked back to her,

even though we haven't got a
chance of winning the race.

Well, Rosie, ifa lot
of us gave up hoping,

we wouldn't get much
out of life.

So I'm still hoping
to win the race.

But this county fair's
for folks to have fun,

and if I'm the cause of their having
fun, it'll be fun for me too.

I don't thinkyou'd have so much trouble
with Emma if you'd rein her to a trot.

If she breaks from a trot to a
gallop, you'll be disqualified.

The way Emma's acting, I'll be disqualified
for not leaving the starting gate.

Emma no good racehorse
without medicine man's charm.

I gave it to Ma for luck
in the bread contest.

We'll have to wait till Ma gets here.
What you got, son?

Some of Billy Reed's
new candy. Try some.

The orange is the best.
Got any lime?

I'll see.
[Candies Rattling]

- Whoa'.
- [ Emma Whinnying]

[Squawking]

[Crunching]

[ Belches]

[ Belches]

[Whinnying]

All cooled out, boys?

Yeah, Pa.
It was a good workout.

Emma, we may be old,
but we're still good models.

All we need is polishing to make us look better.
We do poiishin', Pa.

Rub her down
special-like.

Give her a good coat and she'll
look like a different horse.

[ Horse Whinnying]

Hey, Pa.
Uh, howdy, Billy.

You been trying out the sulky. How'd you do?
Surprised myself.

Did all right.
Good.

Next thing,you'll be betting on Emma.
Maybe.

I just bet 200 myself.
On Emma?

No!

Listen, Pa, I want to give
you a tip on a sure thing.

[ Horse Whinnying]

Don't let this go
any further,

but Peter].
was a Missouri champ.

No! Lay everything you
got on Peterjfs nose.

How about laying a few
dollars on his tail?

In case he comes in backwards.
[ Ma ] Pa!

Look!
I won the bread prize!

$150!
Ain't that grand?

That sure is wonderful
for the stockholders.

Man, oh, man!
50%!

20, 40, 60, 70, 75.
[Laughing]

Thanks, Ma! Ain't
you gonna stop him?

He made off with
half my money!

That's 'cause he's got 50% of the stock.
What stock?

Yours. Ma Kettle's.

W-Well, I had to give Billy
somethin' for the sulky.

Ya mean--

I'm gonna have to lock ya up if you
don't stop doin' foolish things.

Seems I'm always scoldin' ya.
I know.

Ma, you do all the barkin', but it's
me that's always in the doghouse.

It could be worse.
We still got 75 dollars.

That's more'n we've seen
for a long time.

Howdy, Ma, Pa. [M2]
Well, hello, Clem.

Didja hear the news?
He ain't interested, Ma.

Of course he is. I won the bread contest!
That's great, Ma.

How much did you get? $150!
But I only got 75 left.

75 dollars,
all counted out.

You must've been
expecting me.

Guess I'll go see how the boys
are doing with Emma.

Pa! Come here.

Another stockholder? I had to give
him 5O percent for the horse.

5O to Billy for the sulky,
5O to Clem for the horse.

You give me all away! Yep.

Sold
for a horse and buggy.

Howdy.

Geoduck, Crowbar,
what are you doing?

Emma get new coat.

Well! You said make her
look like different horse.

That's too different. Now
you got to wash her off.

Pg]

Land sakes,
what's happened?

The boys wanted to add some
color to the race. Color? Huh!

Now, Ma, don't you worry.

Go get
a good night's sleep.

We'll stay and get Emma
all washed up.

Emma was all washed up when we got her.
[Chuckling]

I'll stay here tonight and make
sure nobody fools with her.

[ Snoring]

Ohh! Ohh!
[ Meaning]

It's usually your nose that's
in other people's business.

Oh, dear. Ohh.

Nice day for the race, Clem.
Yeah.

Gonna be good and warm in the winner's circle.
Good luck with Peter].

Thank you. Good luck with Tassy.
Thanks.

Peter?

[Peter]. Moaning] What's the matter, boy?
What's the matter?

Get up!

Come on, boy. Get up, Peter].
Come on, boy.

Tassy, what are you lying down for?
[Tassy Moaning]

Come on, honey,
the race is today!

[Moaning Continues]
Clem! Clem!

Get up. What's the matter?
Something's the matter with Tassy!

Look at Peter]. He looks 3O
pounds heavier this morning.

Must be something
in the air.

Looks like
something in his stomach.

What about the race? I don't know;
Peter jfs in a pretty bad way.

Oh, boy, come on.
Come on, boy.

[Peter]. Moaning]

With Peter]. out, Birdies
got the race in her pocket.

I'm switching my bet to Dixie.
So am I.

I'm tipping off a couple
of friends to do the same.

Just a little clippin' and
curryin' and look at her.

The horse
looks all right.

Let's take a look at you.
Here, put this on.

Nice of that fella
to loan you this outfit.

Wonder why his horse ain't runnin'?
A horse is like a human, Ma.

Mightve ate somethin'
that didn't agree with it.

Back up a bit. Let me look
at you in the distance.

Well, I'll declare.

You look as good as you did the
day we was married, 3O years ago.

That reminds me!

I never did pay the preacher for
the ceremony. Yes, you did!

You borrowed the two dollars from me.
Remember? [Rosie] Mal Pa!

[Pa] Hi there, Rosie!
Hello, Ma, Pa.

I brought you
something to eat.

It's late for breakfast, but I had to feed
my darling brothers and sisters first.

How are the children behaving?
They'll be all right.

I took their bean shooters
and slingshots away.

I explained if they hit the horse with
anything, they'd break trot and lose.

Uh-uh, Pa. Those cakes
have nuts in 'em.

Nuts don't agree
with you.

You're racing today. Can't take chances.
Mmm. Can't take chances.

Better not eat doughnuts.
Too heavy on your stomach.

You're racing.
Can't take chances.

No.
Can't take chances.

An egg?
No.

A roll?
Mm-mmm.

Raisin muffin?
Nope.

Can I lick the bottom
of the basket?

You better get Emmy hitched to the sulky.
Got your good luck charm?

In my pocket. Remember,
keep the horse in a trot.

I won't forget. I'm hoping
Emma will remember.

Good luck, Pa. Winning means
Rosie goes to college.

Even if you don't win,
Pa, I'll know you tried.

I hope Emma
hasn't had breakfast.

Racing today.
Can't take chances.

We'd better get back to the kids.
Yep.

Pa and the kids can't
be left alone too long.

Where you two been? Pa needs
you to help hitch up Emma.

Betum two dollar on Emma.
Makeum much money.

Nobody bet on Pa. Whole
town betum big on Dixie.

On Dixie? How come? You said Peter].
was a champion.

Now big champ sick.

Dad's horse sick? We'd
better go find Dad.

So Birdies horse
is the favorite.

I'd bet against her for spite,
if I was a bettin' woman.

And if I had some money.
Here, Ma.

75 dollars. Where'd
you get 75 dollars?

I find it in, uh--
in-- in stable.

This is just borrowin'; but ifbettin'
means sendin' Rosie to college,

I guess it wouldn't be
such a big sin. Thanks.

Go help Pa
hitch up the sulky.

Where you find 75 dollar
in stable?

In Clem Johnson
pants pocket.

Oh. I thought maybe
you steal it.

That's racing luck, son.

Emma may still have
one good race left in her.

I hope so,
for your folks' sake.

Run along now. They'll be on the track soon.
We'll see you later.

Bye, Mnjohnson.
Bye.

[indistinct Talking]
Oh. Hello, Clem.

Howdy, Ma. Sorry about your horse.
How is he?

Well, the vet's
makin' a check now.

Um, uh, Clem.

If you was bettin' now
and needed to win,

who would ya bet on?
Why, on Dixie.

In fact, I figured on
betting 75 dollars right now,

but 75 dollars disappeared out
of my pocket. 75 dollars?

Yeah. Funny. Crowbar found
75 dollars in the stable.

Wanted me to find the owner.
Why, thanks.

Aren't you gonna bet, Ma? No,
I changed my mind, Clem.

If I bet on Pa,
I might lose the money.

If I bet on Dixie, I'd
feel I'd wronged Pa. Ah.

Sol guess I'll just keep
hoping he'll win the purse.

Clem.
Huh?

The vet says all our horses
have been fed something.

I called the sheriff. He's already
figured the whole thing out.

Somebody didn't want
those horses to win.

I could've figured that. The
question is, who is that somebody?

?? [ Call To The Post]

g," [ Call Repeats]

[Man] I've got my money on Dixie.
Number two.

Ma, look,
there's Pa!

Looks as good as the rest of'em.
Good luck, Pa!

[Together]
Good luck, Pa!

[Snorting]

Hey! You fellas are
going the wrong way.

Pa! Where ya goin'?

Tum around!

Why didn't you
leave him alone?

He'd have stood a
better chance that way.

We could have called him
?Wrong Way? Kettle.

Birdie, I thought all the
horses had to be on the track.

They do. Then how come they
let a nag like you in here?

End of the chute, men. Bring 'em
up easy and keep an even line.

All set, Ma? Race oughta
start any minute.

I hope so. I'm a nervous wreck.
So am I.

I put a bundle on Dixie. So did everybody else.
Hey, they're ready to go!

[ Cm wd Talking
Excitedly]

Get up there! Get along, Emma.
Get on!

Emma, get over with
the rest of the horses.

Come on, Pa!
Be careful not to fall out!

[ Pa 1 Watch the pole horse. Go!

Come on, Dixie!
Come on, now!

Emma want to go barn.
Get hay.

Come on, Emma. In case it slipped
your mind, we're in a race!

Faster, Pa, faster!

Use medicine man charm!

[Cheering]
Come on, Dixie!

Next time, get yourself a thoroughbred!
[ Laughing]

I got one, Birdie! Emmy ain't,
but her driver sure is!

Go on, Pa!

Come on, Emma.
We're a little behind.

Oh, if only something
would happen to make Pa win.

Don't give up. Anything
can happen in a race.

Come on, Emma!

- [ Rattling]
- [Whinnying]

Pass 'em, Pa!
Pass 'em, Pa!

[Cheering Continues]

Howdy.
Come on, Emma.

We're gonna win, Pa!
Come on!

Oh, no, Ma! I'll be ruined!
It's your own fault!

Hold on tight, Pa!

Howdy.

Look at Pa! I see him.
Come on, Dixie!

Ma, the whole Cape will be
bankrupt if Dixie don't pay off.

The whole town'll be broke if Pa wins?
That's right.

Which one of you's
got a slingshot?

Rosie wouldn't let us
bring any!

Come on, Emma!

Come on, Pa! Stay in there!
Come on!

Come on, Emma!
Go on, Emma!

- Come on, Pa!
- [Cheering Continues]

Emma gonna win!

We're winning, Emma!
We're winning!

Hate to do this
to ya, Pa.

- [Whinnying]
- She break!

Dixie's gonna win!

[Laughing]

Well, Emma, we tried.

Rosie.

I know what winning
meant to you,

but I told you
anything could happen.

Why does everything have to
happen to the Kettles?

Whoa.

Too bad, Pa.
Yep.

Poor Pa_ [ Billy] Ma.

I want to thank you.

What you did was just about the
finest thing I've ever seen.

I only did it to protect
my own interest.

If the town was broke,
who'd Pa borrow from?

[ Horse Whinnying] [
Clem ] There he is.

Howdy, Clem. Sheriff,
do your duty.

You're under arrest. Anything
you say'll be held against you.

Under arrest?
That's right.

I didn't do anything. lfl did, I'm not guilty.
You don't know about cement?

Why, of course I do.

Pa! Cement is bits
or chips of marble--

What's goin' on here? You're
probably in on this too, Ma Kettle.

In on what?

Feeding this bread to Peter]. and
the other horses to make them sick.

I didn't feed 'em.
But I made this bread.

One of the stable boys
saw Pa's Indian friends...

dump the bread, mixed with hay,
by the horse barn yesterday.

I guess it's my fault; I gave
Geoduck and Crowbar the bread.

I told him to; the bread didn't come out right.
f '// say it dfdn 1:'.

You figured with all the other
horses sick, Emma could win.

- You didn't figure on Dixie not eating any.
- We wouldn't do that.

Me and Ma wanted to win fair and square.
of course you did.

You stayed in the stable all night
to get at the rest of the horses.

Only Ma found out
I was here.

And you found out
f was here.

I'm sorry, Pa and Ma; with all
this evidence against you,

I'll have to put you in custody.
Well, thanks, Sheriff.

For a minute I thought he was
gonna put us injail. Come on.

What's the kids gonna think ofus being injail?
Don't worry about that.

Our kids
believe in us.

Remember the old saying: ?Stone
walls do not a prison make,

nor iron bars a cage.?

Well, if they don't, somebodys
sure foolin' you and me.

Brought you something
to eat, Ma and Pa.

Maybe it'll cheer you up. Hmm. Can't
eat, but I sure need cheerio' up.

When are we gonna find out what's gonna happen?
The folks are meeting now.

You two are well liked
in this town,

but tampering with racehorses
is a mighty serious offense.

Course, that ain't
cheerio' you up.

No, it ain't. That Birdie Hicks
sure can get people riled up.

Like the time she biamedjeb
Harris for poisoning her dog.

She got folks so steamed up, they
wanted to stringjeb up by the neck.

Of course, your case is different.
I hope so.

Yeah, hurtin' a horse is a bigger
crime than poisonin' a dog.

[Chuckles]
That ain't cheerio' you up.

No, but if you tell us they're gonna
hang us, that would give us a lift.

If you could just get out of town until
folks cool off, you'd be all right.

I guess we would. Folks
is kinda hotheaded now.

I been a-thinkin'; if you
was to find a cell key...

that I just happened
to drop,

you could get away while I was
in the back havin' a smoke.

I guess I'll go take that smoke now.
[Clears Throat]

Oh, Sam'.
Yeah?

Sam!

You dropped
your key.

Thanks, Pa.

[ Laughing] What do you know?
Key fits this lock too!

What do you know?

Well, I guess I'll go have that smoke now.
[Clears Throat]

Seems sure forgetful,
ain't he?

Sam! Sam!

Yeah, Pa? You forgot
to lock the door.

We could've gotten away, and
you'd never have knowed it.

Okay, Pa, okay.

Wanna be careful; you could lose
a prisoner that way. [Chuckles]

Yeah.

I wish we could find some way
of escapin' out of here.

Just shows ya, Pa.

When you're in trouble,

nobody gives ya a helpin' hand.
Psst/

Ma. Pa.

We come to help you
make getaway quick.

We got plenty of bread.
We don't need that.

Those durn Indians.

We could've bitten that bread
and broke a tooth!

No one's gonna help us; we
might as well face the music.

Ma, Pa, you gotta
get away quick.

Birdie Hicks and the rest
headed for thejaii.

All right, Ma and Pa,
the sheriff wants ya.

You think we can see the
kids before it happens?

I don't think so; folks out there
seemed in a hurry to get it over with.

You want me to blindfold you, Ma?
No.

Gonna look 'em
straight in the eye.

If they hang me,

it'll be the last time they'll
see my face around this town.

Here's your tow rope; County
don't buy me a new car soon,

I'm gonna have to go back ridin' horses.
[Door Opens]

Now look here, Sheriff, if there's
gonna be a hangin', hang me!

I baked that bread, but I didn't
do it to hurt the horses!

Hang me!
Let Ma go!

My cement
got into the bread,

and I'm to blame for putting the
bread near the horses! Now, Ma, Pa!

You keep out of this!
Ma, listen--

You too, Birdie Hicks! Wait a minute, Ma!
just simmer down!

We're not here to hang you, we're
here to thank you. To thank me?

Billy Reed told us the
wonderful thing you did.

You saved the town from a financial upset.
Did Ma do that?

She did; I saw Ma make a slingshot and
deliberately shoot a pebble at Emma,

making Emma break pace and
letting Dixie win the race.

Ma, did you help Dixie to win?
I had to, Pa.

When Billy told me the whole
town'd go broke, I just had to.

You'd have nobody to borrow from.
That's all right, Ma.

Ma, I'm sorry
for all I did.

Dixie won, but the victory
really belongs to you.

For losing, you made yourselves
dearer to the hearts...

of all
your townspeople.

Sol--Well,I,I--

I never knew you to be at a loss
for words before. I know it, Ma.

Here's the money
that Dixie won.

Now, you take it. That'll get
Rosie started in college.

That's mighty nice
of you, Birdie.

Pa and me thank you.

We'll just borrow it,
Birdie, till I go to work.

Ma, I sent a sample of your 112m to
Mr. Potter of the A andA Stores.

lfifs all right with you, his stores
will carry a complete line...

of Ma Kettle's jams and jellies!
[Laughing]

Ain't it funny? I enter a jam
contest and get in a horse race!

We get into a horse race
and we get into ajam!

And now that it's all
over, everything jells!