MILF (2018) - full transcript
Three best friends in their forties start a relationship with younger men while on vacation.
NETFLIX PRESENTS
Yes, dear. Are you settled in?
No, stop saying your stomach is in knots.
See you in three weeks.
I'll call you every day.
Yes,
vacation with your dad will go fine.
-I'll give them a kiss.
-Kiss-kiss, Nina!
Kiss-kiss, dear.
I love you, peanut.
You can't use earbuds while driving.
You've been holding onto your seat
since Paris.
I'm super scared. Tell her!
It doesn't bother me.
Yeah, my driving is fine.
Relax, we're on vacation.
Not really. That'll be later.
We have lots to do in the house.
The buyers will come back
for the follow-up visit.
I want to settle this fast.
Relax, we'll get it done.
I have some news.
I've changed plans a little.
Meaning?
I'm joining Pascal in Ibiza in a few days.
Last-minute decision.
Awesome.
Old bad habits from high school?
No, not at all.
I'm not ditching you.
Just leaving a little sooner. Stop.
I couldn't say no.
He's never asked me to go with him.
He's about to leave her.
Oh, yeah? Haven't I heard that before?
-Pathetic.
-Stop.
I know what you think. Now it's different.
"Mr. Asshole"? What...
What is this?
You messed with my phone when we stopped?
No, why?
That guy's crazy!
That asshole
is tailgating and pressuring me!
Think I'm scared of you
and your headlights?
-Let him pass, it's dangerous!
-They're cute.
Pass, you moron,
you won't be disappointed.
Take the wheel.
-Take the wheel, Sonia!
-No!
No, Elise, stop! No!
No! Stop! No!
Stop! Stop it!
My God! You're crazy!
Shit!
Oh, no...
Let's pull over.
PLEASE FOLLOW US
What are the odds of getting stopped
by the cops on a road like this?
I'm screwed without a license.
Take the test again in six months.
How could you offer
to blow the policemen?
We could've ended up in custody.
They seemed to have a sense of humor.
Where's the light switch?
How long has it been since you were here?
Three years.
It still smells like him, right?
Okay, let's put on some music.
Elise, you'll take Leo's room,
and, Sonia, you take Melie's.
I can sleep in your room. I don't mind.
-No, it's fine.
-You sure?
Yeah...
What is that?
It looks like a pelican.
It's huge!
How did it get here?
Hello, little pelican!
All right, so, room one.
Sonia, you'll take care of it with Elise.
Can you put your phone down and help?
-Hang on.
-Always the same.
"Love you, Pascal."
How do we do this?
No idea, I'm scared.
-That's better, no?
-Yeah.
I get it, this isn't much fun,
but we have to organize ourselves.
Can you help?
-Yes, I'm still typing.
-Yes? Come on.
Come here...
Easy. Okay...
Mating takes place mostly in the spring,
after hibernation.
Males are fertile from April to August.
MY STOMACH'S NOT IN KNOTS ANYMORE.
LUV U MOM
I LOVE YOU TOO, MY DARLING.
SLEEP TIGHT.
I've installed AdoptAGuy for you,
just in case.
Use it when you're ready.
It's not bad.
How long have we been here?
I can't take it.
We could take a break tomorrow.
I agree. We need to get some air.
You agree, Cécile?
It's important
to take care of yourself too.
I'd love to go sailing!
You still have it?
Sailing, great idea. Isn't it, Cécile?
Is that good?
Yeah. Sailing is good.
Great idea. Wonderful.
I love the... wind.
Sonia!
Follow me, okay?
Do what Axel does.
Axel, you said the sailing was good?
-Yeah.
-There. Nice and taut. Pull...
What's with those dumb bitches?
Don't they know how to drive?
Cécile!
You seem to be having fun!
Not bad for some secondhand booty!
Tell me about it!
Sailing looks super fun!
It's not at all
for old fogies like I thought.
Idiot!
Fuck, they're not noticing us at all.
-Kevin! Come here!
-Yes.
What did I do? But...
What are you doing, dude?
He's drowning!
Give me your hand.
What happened? I don't get it.
-Is he hurt?
-He'll be fine, thanks.
I intervened in time.
He capsized because of you.
It's dangerous riding so close.
Well, I didn't think we did. We're sorry!
-You okay, sweetie?
-Don't worry, we're on it.
If you want,
we could teach you how to drive.
That's okay. We'll be more careful.
It'd be safer
if we give you some lessons.
We can teach you the right reflexes
and the right positions.
Okay, great.
I could teach you how to shave.
I'm sure you can teach me a lot.
Yeah... well, see you.
See you.
Later, David Hasselhoff!
Who's David Hasselhoff?
I'm too scared to call your other phone,
call me back!
Let me know about the hotel
and all the rest.
I miss you.
All good?
His wife, kids, how are they?
Look out, girls.
That's a professional camel toe.
-A what?
-Tight pants up the vajayjay.
You call it "camel toe"?
-I call it ninja foot.
-Show some compassion.
We don't have to use
your stupid trendy Parisian codes.
No, Cécile!
I gotta admit, it's huge.
-Shit, it's Marie-Christine!
-You know her?
The baker's wife. I like her,
but I don't want to see her right now.
Shit! Do you ever talk fashion?
Stop! She'll want to talk
about Laurent. Hide me.
Do something! Hurry!
-Not that! No!
-That look! It's amazing.
-No, stop! Is she gone?
-No.
Not yet. Careful, she's near.
Cécile? Is that you?
-Marie-Christine.
-What are you doing?
These are my friends.
-Sonia, Elise.
-Nice to meet you.
Sweetie, you came back!
I'm so happy to see you!
How are you?
I hope it isn't too hard without Laurent.
-I'm going to sell, actually.
-I know, I heard.
-And the kids?
-Good, they're away at camp.
Hey, let's go swimming! Come on!
How's the bakery doing, good?
Good, working a lot as usual.
Yeah, not bad!
Cécile, tell me you know him.
-He's from here?
-He'd be perfect for you!
I doubt it, no one's interested in me.
A widow at my age, unemployed,
with two teenagers... Honestly...
Well, that's Thomas.
I rented the house to him.
-Marie-Christine!
-Thomas!
Always working out, huh?
These are my friends.
-Cécile...
-Hello.
-Sonia and...
-Elise, I'm Elise.
-Hi.
-Hello.
I won't hug you, I'm sweaty.
Jogging at this hour is not a great idea.
It can be dangerous at our age.
I'm an expert on heart attacks.
Sorry. Pretend I didn't say anything.
Still coming over tonight?
Of course!
Then I'm taking you all dancing
at Drakkar!
-We'll see.
-Off you go!
Bye.
I hope Marie-Christine will wear
a sparkly camel toe.
-She'd better bring Thomas.
-Yes.
I feel bad about leaving Cécile alone.
No, don't worry. She must be asleep.
-You think?
-Yes.
Go ahead, idiot.
Leica, come on!
Everyone's cutting us in line?
Membership card.
Excuse me?
Who invited you?
Your mom.
She coming to pick you up soon?
You can ask her yourself
at the Scrabble club.
Wait at the side, please.
What a little bitch!
Good evening.
Who does she think she is?
Is she crazy or what?
Hey, enough.
-Stop it.
-You talking to me?
Can I go in now?
No, you can't.
But you can go home, yeah.
-Who do you think you are?
-Raph, leave her alone.
I'll handle it.
I'll give you five seconds to go.
You turn me on with your power trip.
Five...
four... three...
two... one.
Hey, you okay? Go on.
Was that Krav Maga?
No point telling her
that we get in everywhere in Paris.
Having trouble in the South?
You want to get in?
We can help,
but you have to be nice to us.
The queens of speed.
I didn't recognize you.
You look shorter without your Zodiacs.
-She's laughing at you, man.
-Yeah.
-Louise, let them in.
-You know them?
Yeah, I do. Be nice to them.
They're old friends.
I'll say.
Great to see you.
-Julien, come on!
-Wanna join me later?
I don't know. We'll see.
-What do you mean?
-Julien!
You know, life.
Thanks again.
I don't think she'd have let us in.
It's okay, relax. It wasn't very hard.
-What are you having?
-Nothing, we're good.
This place is expensive!
We drank before coming.
We even stashed a bottle outside.
No, it's on us.
Which cocktails are good here?
It's fine. Forget that. Rico!
Five vodka Red Bulls, please.
Thanks.
See, we're nice.
More important, you're hot.
Five Red Bulls. Forty-five euros.
It's okay. Keep the change.
Royal at the bar!
Weird, no?
-That aftertaste?
-Yes.
That's GHB.
They're still following you around?
Hey, that's enough.
It's dead here. I'm going back to work.
-Come to see me later?
-I have no choice.
I gotta get through the door to get out.
Is she your girlfriend?
No.
We hooked up at a party, but...
She's been imagining things since.
Forget it.
Yeah!
Should we bounce?
How about an after-party?
After-party? What for?
It could be cool!
No, thanks, but it's late.
The night's just getting started.
And the darkness suits you.
As opposed to daylight?
-You have an answer for everything?
-Yeah.
Really?
We can stay together longer.
We could go to the beach,
my place, wherever.
I don't think so. I'm going home.
-Paul, leave them alone.
-Sure?
-Yeah. Bye.
-Bye. Stop it.
He sure is confident. He swooped right in!
He's crazy. I should file a complaint.
-How old do you think he is?
-Twelve and a half?
Idiot! No, he's at least 23.
Even at 23, he's a child.
The little punk's a good kisser.
She did what we asked. It's...
What's wrong with her?
-Cécile.
-How many did she do?
-I told you we shouldn't leave her alone!
-How many...
What?
This isn't funny! Why are you laughing?
She's so stupid.
-Should we put her back to bed?
-No!
-We're not putting her back to bed!
-Come on, let's go.
We can grab her like this!
Hey, guys!
Can you help move the catamaran out?
Shut it.
Seriously?
-Shit, check it.
-Look. Just on the right. You see?
-Let me see.
-No.
You bastard.
What's he doing there?
She's scared of the ball.
No, you're wrong.
I'm not an eternal bachelor. I'm a dad.
-Yeah?
-I've got a six-year-old boy.
His name is Sacha.
You might run into him.
I've been separated
for almost three years now.
Classic.
All couples split up
when the child turns two or three.
Is that you being optimistic?
No, just realistic.
Too bad you weren't at Drakkar yesterday.
Clubs aren't my thing.
No, me... I prefer watching
a cozy TV series in bed, you know?
What about you?
How come
you haven't rebuilt your life yet?
"What about you? How come
you haven't rebuilt your life yet?"
-No, please!
-What?
Not this stupid expression:
"rebuild your life."
If you're not a traditional couple,
you don't have a life?
-Yeah.
-Yep.
Yes, good point.
This house is beautiful.
-If your buyers back out, let me know.
-Okay.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
Well, I should get going.
Me too, I've got loads to do.
My son's cooking class is about to end.
Is your son really on vacation?
If you had kids, you'd know
it's convenient to keep them busy.
Where's the bathroom?
Upstairs, second door on the left.
-Okay.
-I'll wait for you.
He's actually a jerk!
Asshole.
-Hi!
-Hi!
We didn't know where the gate was.
So...
-Hi, Sonia!
-Hi!
-Hi.
-You know each other?
Yeah. We met them last night.
Did we give them the address?
-I don't know.
-Hi.
Mrs. Camus.
-Markus?
-Yeah, it's me.
You've grown so much. I mean, changed!
What are you doing here?
I came for dinner with my friends.
I thought you'd sold the house.
No, actually, that's why I came back.
I didn't know you were friends.
They're helping me with the sale.
Okay.
It's great to see you again, ma'am.
Thank you. Don't just stand here. I...
And stop calling me "ma'am." Come in.
-Thank you.
-Thanks.
You remember inviting us to dinner?
This isn't awkward, right?
No. I mean, I...
Hi, Mr. Tissot.
Do we know each other?
We met at the sailing club.
We take care of your son. Sacha, right?
Right.
You're the instructors or something?
Yeah.
By the way,
this is for you.
They're lemons.
Thank you.
-Nice.
-Welcome.
Not too hungover today?
We were really wasted last night.
You two were having trouble
walking toward the end.
We had a hard time getting to work.
-You look beautiful today.
-Thanks.
I brought this...
To go with the lemons.
-That's cool!
-Tequila, really?
Yeah, it's for getting hammered!
Yeah, well...
Tequila is convenient
when you're flat broke, right?
Excuse me?
It's okay. I know what it's like.
I had summer jobs too.
All I wanted was to get wasted...
...and bang girls.
I guess we haven't had the same youth.
Aren't you guys cute?
Trying to be big men.
Who is this asshole?
Your boyfriend?
Would you like something to drink?
All right, this time, I'm off.
Yeah.
Oh, and...
before I forget...
You should keep
the club's equipment cleaner.
See... it's not quite up to par.
Your boss told me not to hesitate
to give him feedback...
I'd hate to have to tell on you.
-Yeah, right. Suck it, buddy.
-Excuse me?
Thomas, aren't you running late?
For your son.
Who does he think he is?
Are you okay?
I just don't respond well
to condescension.
See you.
I can't believe Thomas' reaction.
I'm shocked.
Why did you invite them?
Did you know Markus
used to babysit Leo and Melie?
This is ridiculous.
-Relax, it's no big deal.
-No, it's no big deal, but...
Besides, I don't remember inviting them,
I swear.
-Awesome.
-No, it's true.
Is this okay?
No.
-Yeah, it's fine.
-Which one of you is the psycho?
What's going on?
Do you frame them after?
Come, let's go outside.
Did you know SpongeBob
was gay with Patrick the starfish?
-Okay.
-Go!
-Slice?
-There! What's going on?
-Go! Hey, go.
-Again.
Wait.
Yes!
-What are you guys studying?
-I'm a second-year law student.
-So, you're taking the DEUG?
-The DEUG?
Well, the equivalent. Because...
"DEUG" doesn't exist anymore, right?
-Yeah, right.
-Sorry.
Okay!
What do you do, Markus?
You work at the sailing club too?
Yes. Yeah, I do.
I'm manager of the sailing club.
I supervise operations
and watch them work. That's it.
I'm more or less studying for my BEng...
-What?
-"I'm studying for my BEng."
He's 80 or what?
No, I'm more or less
studying engineering, if you prefer.
I haven't certified my second year.
Next year, either I have to repeat...
Why are you looking at me?
-What's with you, guys?
-I'm listening.
My second option is, I have coder friends
who are building a start-up.
Maybe I'll work there.
I'm on the fence about working with them.
I don't know yet.
Come on, stop!
Why don't you tell her you wanna leave
Paris so you don't run into your ex?
Fuck, shut up!
I haven't given a damn about her
for a thousand years!
And I didn't ask you to unpack my shit
in public.
He's right. And be careful.
We could destroy your career
by telling them about your hazing
in medical school, you bastard!
-What accent is that?
-I don't know.
-That's racist.
-No.
You studied medicine?
-Yep.
-What specialty?
His specialty is money.
It's... Money, love, caramel of all sorts.
-Creole!
-Yes!
-You're sort of the accent specialist.
-That's right!
No, Sonia, I...
I'm taking a gap year.
I'll get small jobs until I know for sure.
This guy passed his first year
of medical school on the first try,
and since he was tired,
he decided to take a sabbatical.
That's a shame.
No, why?
It gives me more time to spend with you.
For example...
You have gorgeous eyes.
And he bites his lips to boot.
So, you like older women?
No, I don't have a specific type.
And you're not old.
Besides, at the club now...
There are some young girls.
Stop it, idiot.
Bullshit, they're not even 12. Stop it.
So? As long as there's turf, I'm game.
Cécile, I was kidding.
Everyone gets that I was kidding, right?
No, I don't think so.
Okay, I'll say it again.
I'll say it in English: "I was kidding."
I could say it in Finnish,
but I'm not sure you speak Finnish.
What's that?
He's proud, and he's gonna blow smoke.
Sweetie, it's Mom.
I was thinking about you
and your camp monitors.
I was wondering if they were nice,
if everything was okay.
Sweetheart,
if there's anything,
you need to tell me about it.
You mustn't hesitate.
You need to tell me things.
Don't be afraid.
Be vigilant.
Give Leo a kiss for me. Love you, sweetie.
Where do I put this?
I don't know. There.
That's great. Over there.
It's weird being here.
I'd also love to see...
To see Leo and Melie again.
They're good?
Great. I just left them a message.
I don't even know if I'd recognize them.
Because...
-They must have grown.
-Well, yeah, like you!
-Yeah.
-They have grown.
Should I bring something?
No.
-Thanks.
-Nothing. Okay.
Thank you.
The first time I saw you,
you blew me away.
Yeah? You've got your work cut out
with me.
I'm not easy.
I love a challenge.
-Sonia, it's our jam!
-Awesome!
-You don't know it?
-No.
Come on!
Hey, come on!
Come on, Julien! Come on!
This is insane.
It's elegant, it's refined...
Did you work as a sommelier or what?
I have so many memories here, it's weird.
I loved coming over
to watch your kids.
They liked you a lot.
Laurent thought you were a bit young,
but I trusted you completely.
Even though I'm super anxious
with my kids.
I remember you often put your hair up
with a pencil.
Really?
I thought that was wild.
-Is something wrong?
-No.
I've always wanted to tear that wall down
to get access to the garden.
So, why didn't you do it? Was it...
I don't know. Laurent was never on board.
Well, then, to this wall.
-And to this virtual opening.
-Cheers!
See?
He is the artist
I'm taking care of these days.
I do all his promos, is press...
Oh, yeah. I actually know who this is!
And...
You manage lots of singers?
Yeah, quite a few.
With very different styles.
I suppose they all have a meaning?
Yeah.
Is Léa your ex-girlfriend?
No, it's my mom's name.
Oh, yeah?
Are you jealous?
No.
MR. ASSHOLE
Sorry, I'll be right back.
Girls!
Chupa.
Chupa me.
Chupa, chupa me!
Chupa!
Those butt calls are always awful.
It happened with me and my dad.
What an asshole!
Did you call him?
He's still not picking up?
What the hell does this shit mean?
"Chupa, chupa me!"
Hang on, is that your boyfriend?
Because...
"chupa, chupa me",
in Spanish, it means:
"Suck me off."
-Suck me off?
-Suck me off.
Suck me off?
You sure that's what it means?
100%, I mean...
Chupa, chupa me!
If I may, Julien aced Spanish class
from the eighth grade till much later.
-He even did Erasmus, so...
-It isn't the time.
What he's doing to you is despicable!
I'd snap if I were you!
Cécile, what's happening to you?
I hate this kind of situation,
it makes me sick!
We're going out!
-Right now?
-Yes. We're going for ice cream!
Everything's closed now.
She's crazy...
She won't do it.
You're the best!
Who wants what?
I don't want any!
Raspberry!
Yes!
Raspberry!
Raspberry!
Here, Cécile.
From here on,
-you eat with your fingers.
-Yeah.
No, thanks.
No? You?
Wait, me too. Want to share?
It's so good!
Raspberry...
Hang on, this one too.
You okay? I'm not too heavy?
Where to now?
Aren't there any windows on this car?
No, they're stuck.
I'm too hot too, even with the roof open.
It's hot!
Let's go for a swim!
I don't have my bathing suit!
Come on, a midnight swim!
Come on!
Come on, don't be wusses!
Come on!
Yeah, let's go skinny dipping!
Dude, can you stop for two seconds?
I need to get out, I don't feel good.
Are you sick?
Sorry, I need some air right now.
-You okay, man?
-I'll walk home.
-Your face is weird.
-Do you need me?
Did you drink too much?
Are you sick?
What's that?
Did you piss yourself?
It's nothing. Leave me alone.
Fuck, did you cream your pants?
When?
You guys are a pain in the ass!
Fuck... It's never happened to me before!
I just want to disappear!
That's so embarrassing, check it!
FROM PAUL
YOU'RE THE HOTTEST OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS
-Wash your face!
-I love it...
Let's put everything in the trunk.
YOU'RE A HOT GIRLFRIEND TOO
Come on, let's go. You're so slow!
-Midnight swim!
-Do we have to obey you?
-Yes. You do.
-She's the boss.
Yeah, I'm the boss.
-Here, boss.
-Hurry up!
-What did you put in our drinks?
-Nothing.
-Hurry up!
-Enough!
Let go of me!
Hands off! Unbelievable...
Always touching me.
Come on. Come!
Cécile, what happened?
You look like a child.
You don't fuck for three years,
but you bother to do that?
I'm free, I'm experimenting!
Come on, let's go!
I hope it's not permanent.
It might be less glamorous
when you're 75!
The water's nice.
I'll show you!
I hadn't been skinny dipping for ages.
-It was so good!
-The keys?
It can't be. You guys are so stupid!
I'm cold!
Shit, I'm sorry! What do we do?
Screw you and your crappy old car!
-It's Laurent's car.
-Screw him too. Just have sex already!
Come on! What are you talking about?
You think the same.
She can't play the victim
and wax her pussy, enough of that!
Did you hear that?
What?
Listen.
What is it?
-Nothing, it must be an animal.
-Oh, no.
Let's get in through the roof.
How do you open the window?
It's stuck.
Are you sure?
Yes, that thing is impossible to remove.
Great, there's a vest.
I'll take the floor mat.
There is no one. Just an animal.
Really?
Yeah.
Maybe it was Mr. Asshole
trying to scare us.
And he wanted Sonia
to get "Chupa, chupa me!"
When the dawn comes,
we'll see more clearly.
"When the dawn comes,
we'll see more clearly."
That's a powerful sentence.
-Fuck you!
-Oh, please.
Sonia, what is that?
Maybe I can get those cops
to come help us. You never know.
Did you sleep under the stars?
Yeah.
-You still jogging?
-Yeah.
I try to stay in shape.
If it helps you relax.
Ask him to help us.
Ask him!
Yes, ask him! You're an asshole!
-Hi!
-Hi.
Can you help us?
Please...
The trunk is really stuck.
I'm sorry I upset you yesterday.
It wasn't my goal.
I bet.
I'm sorry, really.
I know it's silly, but...
I often lose my cool with...
With little punks.
There you go!
"Little punks"?
You're still doing it. No respect?
Do you measure intelligence
by age or social class?
The little punks
have ten times better manners than you do.
Thanks for the trunk.
-No, but it's not...
-No!
Okay, the last two.
Go and see Matthieu.
Is it going good?
-Yes.
-Drinking enough water?
Stay with Koran.
Here, Paul?
Can you look after Enzo?
-You all right, kiddo?
-Yes.
You can wear this.
FROM PAUL
MIDNIGHT SWIM FOR ME TOO...
... BUT AT NOON
YOUR TURN NOW
GIRLS FALL IN LOVE WITH WHAT THEY HEAR,
GUYS WITH WHAT THEY SEE.
What are you doing?
-I'm struggling!
-Is this for Paul?
Not that way, I'll help you.
If you do it that way,
he'll know it's not a selfie.
No, stick your hand out,
like you're taking the picture.
Watch out for the ass folds.
There, this is a good one.
No! Let's do one with the mirror!
It's a trick.
We always look hotter in a mirror.
Like this.
-Okay. Do you take these often?
-Yes.
-Like that?
-Too much fabric.
Show your ass.
It looks like a porno.
No, this looks like a porno!
He can't see you in the mirror.
Right...
-No, are you kidding me?
-What?
I lost my bracelet.
Laurent's bracelet.
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure.
We looked everywhere.
I must have lost it yesterday evening.
-Because of all your bullshit.
-Cécile, you're going too far.
You're the one who wanted ice cream
and a midnight swim!
Don't you pick up!
"Chupa me" wasn't enough for you?
This is all because of that asshole!
And those kids you brought over.
-Bullshit!
-No...
Yes! We should be cleaning
this fucking house to sell it!
And why did you guys come?
For reassurance
in your powers of seduction?
Now I have lost Laurent's bracelet!
You're upset, calm down.
We'll keep cleaning.
No. I've had time to think.
You're going home. Please.
I'll stay here and mourn this house.
All right, then.
I'll finish the room and pack my bag.
-I'm coming.
-Wait!
I apologize for what I said earlier.
I didn't mean a word of it.
Thank you for being here with me.
I'm sorry.
FROM PAUL
GORGEOUS
ELISE
4 HOURS NO ANSWER
I WAS STARTING TO THINK
YOU LIKE BIG BUTTS :)
In that case, I'm going for a shower!
You're so sensual.
Man, aren't you tired?
What time did you get home?
It was wild, man.
I was so freaked out about
her having an old lady's pussy.
Especially since she has a kid,
but not at all.
Dude, come on!
Seriously? It's 8:00 a.m.
and you're already talking about that?
She's really fit for her age.
No difference from a 20-year-old chick.
Seriously, Julien,
you really got to fuck Sonia.
Shut up.
Get moving, the club opens in ten minutes.
Shit, what a pig!
Beat it, guys. I can't sleep.
I see that some of us are taking it easy!
We're out of food,
go buy some Nutella!
Yeah, right. Want a blow job too?
-See you later, baby!
-Beat it!
Sleep tight!
So we don't care about returning
to the crime scene?
Mimi, I'm counting on you!
Watch out.
Look who's here!
Beautiful!
-Hi, Marie-Christine.
-Hi.
How are you?
Good.
It's so lovely to see you!
How's it going?
I love these little hearts!
-Thank you.
-Gorgeous.
-I'm never wearing this again.
-Hello.
I'm sorry, but I'm out of ice cream.
Some vandals broke into my freezer.
It's all melted.
I'm still waiting for the delivery.
-How are you, Markus?
-Hey, Michel.
No raspberry sorbet?
No. I've got pies, if you'd like.
Do you know anyone called Laurent?
Because I found a bracelet with "Laurent"
engraved on it in my freezer.
That's crazy.
That asshole must be called Laurent.
It'll help me pay for what I lost.
It's not such a big deal, Mimi!
It happens in this business,
especially in the summer.
Right, I'm off.
Enjoy yourselves, everyone!
-Arrivederci!
-Ciao!
-She's sweet.
-Yeah.
You okay?
Yeah.
Elise, are you serious?
What?
Right on! The man respects the planet.
-Not like some others.
-Stop it.
-Don't you smoke?
-No. I mean, not really.
Look at that cute doggy!
Oh, yeah.
That dog, in dog years,
-is older than your boyfriend.
-Idiot!
You finished your beer?
People will call us cougars.
-No way.
-You're not cougars.
You're more like... MILFs.
What is that?
MILF or "Mother I would Like to Fuck."
See, it's a compliment.
Cougars are on the prowl,
but a MILF isn't looking for anything.
Indeed, that makes a huge difference.
Well, I doubt I'll ever be a mother.
I like MILFs.
You're such a moron.
-No, Sonia. We'll pay.
-No, it's my pleasure.
Next time is on us.
We got tickets. Here.
That's nice, thanks!
You smell really good.
Cool, thanks.
It's a girls' race.
Try it, it'll be a laugh.
I don't feel like it.
That's no fun.
No point if you don't do it.
Look who's coming.
What up, grannies?
Anyone bold enough to race me?
Is she confident because she's young
or because she's blonde?
I want to murder her.
Or maybe you're too scared?
Yes, I'm so scared!
You're not that scary.
Cool, we'll have some fun then.
Yes, we'll have some fun.
What a little bitch!
You know what? We're doing the race.
-What, are you serious?
-Very serious.
-Everyone good?
-Yeah!
Are you ready?
Yeah!
Why the megaphone? He's one meter away!
Ready? Here they come!
Believe me,
the thoroughbreds better watch out!
Yeah!
Look, there's Marie-Christine.
-Hey, camel-toe!
-Stop it.
Here come the wild beasts
and their tamers!
We're gonna make it.
Okay? You're the best.
You've seen too many movies.
Three, two, one...
Come on!
Come on!
Go! Come on!
Go!
Come on!
Go, Cécile!
Come on!
Let's go!
She's going to knock her off!
Come on, we're gonna win!
Hey, that's my friend!
Come on, Cécile!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yes, Cécile, yes!
-Cécile!
-Yeah!
-Cécile!
-Yeah!
Weren't we parked here?
Where are Elise and Paul?
They left ten minutes ago.
In fact, she would appreciate
if we took our time getting home.
Is this a joke?
I'm so pissed.
I wanted to invite you
to my parents' place,
but they rented it out.
In any case,
you've gotten me into cocktails again.
I haven't had one this good
in a super long time.
-Yes.
-Let's go soon.
I'm exhausted.
No wonder, after that race.
I'll head out with you. I don't live far.
Here.
A present for the winner.
Thank you.
Many thanks, my lady!
-Sonia, you coming?
-Yes.
Okay, goodbye, then.
-I'm leaving tomorrow.
-What?
Yes, I'm going to Spain.
Well...
Thanks for the lift.
Congratulations again. I was impressed.
Thank you.
Well, bye.
-Stay safe going home, okay?
-Bye!
Right, bye.
"Many thanks, my lady"?
I had the same car as a kid!
A Lotus...
You work even when you're on vacation?
How old are you, anyway?
How about you shut your mouth?
Ever played "Yes, Master"?
-What?
-"Yes, Master."
-What's that?
-Ask me anything,
I'll reply: "Yes, Master" and I obey.
You up for it?
Why not? It sounds intriguing.
Have we started?
Yes, Master!
Okay.
Go on.
Start with a little striptease.
Not bad.
Getting aggressive?
Oh, the suspense!
Yes, Master!
That's the smallest dick
I've seen in my life!
Liar.
Your next orders?
Anything I want, you sure?
Are you really sure?
Yes, Master.
Can you do the helicopter blade?
Yeah...
I love this game!
He can snap his fingers
and you come running. It's absurd!
Please don't judge me too harshly.
You'll be okay with the house?
We made a lot of progress.
Yeah, they're definitely upstairs.
Not going to bed?
I'll stay here, thanks.
Good night.
Good night, sweetie.
Are you crazy? What are you doing here?
-I wasn't sure which was your room.
-You're mad!
I couldn't let you go
without seeing you again.
You think you're Romeo?
This is cute,
but I need to finish packing.
Can I help?
No, you're sweet, I'm fine.
Want me to leave you alone?
No, it's...
FROM: PASCAL JICLON
SORRY DEAR. I HAD TO GET BACK TO PARIS,
THE KIDS KEPT ASKING FOR ME...
I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I CAN,
IT'S COMPLICATED RIGHT NOW
ENJOY YOUR VACATION. LOVE...
Yes, I fed the pelican. Of course, I did.
He may have stolen my room,
but I'm not mad at him.
Don't be jealous.
You didn't know the cockslap, did you?
You're gonna make me come so hard.
You know that, bitch?
Aren't I supposed to give the orders?
Yes, ma'am!
"Yes, Master" is okay...
"Yes, ma'am" isn't happening.
Wait...
No, sorry,
I don't know what's wrong with me.
It's okay.
Maybe you've had too much to drink?
No, not even.
You've watched a lot of porn, haven't you?
Yes. How did you know?
Have you never slept with an older woman?
No, not really.
But it's not because of that.
I shouldn't have...
What?
I really wanted to impress you tonight,
so...
Like a moron,
I jerked off before coming here.
Just in case.
-You idiot.
-Fuck.
Do you want me to leave?
Not at all.
Come here.
Let's cuddle like this.
You don't mind?
No, this feels great.
-My love.
-Mommy...
-Are you okay, baby?
-I'm calling you in secret.
Yes, sweetie.
I can't sleep.
-They want to expel Leo from camp.
-Leo?
What do you mean?
He slept in a 25-year-old monitor's bed.
And since he's 16,
they're saying it's not normal.
You're not mad?
That's totally normal. It's great.
Twenty-five years old is great.
It's good. I think it's great.
Mommy?
What's wrong?
Angry? No.
I'm not angry at all.
-No, he's very handsome. Gorgeous.
-What?
-Very much so.
-What are you saying?
Lots of kisses.
-What are you looking at?
-Lots of kisses.
Mommy?
Lots of kisses.
-That's it.
-Someone's coming, bye.
I'm waiting for your next orders.
Already?
You'll never be able to make love
with any other man now.
It was fun, right?
Yeah.
What?
Nothing. Be quiet, you'll wake them.
Yeah, it was fun.
You didn't like it? Was it just okay?
I mean, I lasted long. No?
It's not just about that.
Are you pouting?
-No.
-Yes, you're pouting!
-No.
-Yes, you are! Like this.
Listen, it was perfect.
It's just that...
You can be a little more gentle...
Yeah.
We don't have to change positions
every four minutes.
Here, I'll show you.
Hello?
Julien speaking.
Shit, I got the wrong phone.
Hello, sir.
She's taking a shower right now.
No, it's not a joke. Hello?
Hello?
Sorry,
I answered your phone
thinking it was mine,
-and so they hung up on me.
-Who was it?
I screwed up, right?
Are you mad at me?
Shit, Paul! You're a dick!
We said no spinning!
Dammit!
That got the MILF going last night.
"Oh, yes, Paul! Fill me, fill me!
Do it! You're so hard! Don't stop!
Deeper! You feel so good, keep going!"
What a fucking liar.
I know, right.
I swear, it was wild.
She's really super hot.
I made her come seven times.
Don't worry, your turn will come.
Haven't you ever heard of women faking it?
Believe me, she wasn't faking.
What about you, Ju?
He almost left
through the window today.
I know, this asshole told me everything.
What, and you don't tell me?
So, did you finally bang her or what?
Mind your own ass.
Can't you be more respectful?
Here we go, the guy's in love.
You're such a pussy!
It was a nice change
from the little virgins!
Fuck, Kevin! We said no spinning!
Seriously! That's twice I've told you!
Girls, my house isn't a love motel.
I thought you were here to help.
Don't exaggerate.
Besides, we're almost done.
It's not the end of the world
if we have some fun, is it?
You think it's fun, but in reality
you're more depressed than I am.
I don't know,
this makes me terribly uncomfortable.
Have you seen how old they are?
Isn't that a problem for you?
Not at all!
Please, no. Not you too, Cécile!
Enough with the prejudice.
People have been accepting
men with younger women for ages.
But women should be ashamed? No.
Maybe a little further?
There'll be fewer people.
We're closer to the sailing club.
The boys might join us
on their lunch break.
Was it good?
They're athletic at that age.
I'm not sure that YouPorn and company
are benefiting the youth.
What about you?
I was really stunned by Pascal's e-mail.
I can't believe he never called you back,
that guy's a pig!
You shouldn't get back with him.
Yeah. Otherwise, we will have to give you
a little spanking!
Yeah, totally.
Can you scooch over a bit?
Please.
-Something wrong?
-No, I'm fine.
I can tell you're not fine,
I'm not stupid.
What's the matter?
You wanted the floating mattress, that it?
Yeah, it was my dream.
No, I mean...
Don't feel obliged to keep me company.
Okay, yeah.
So, you're not okay at all.
Tell me what's wrong.
I don't know, everything.
What's everything?
All of this.
Don't you think it's little odd?
I look like I could be your mother, so...
-It's embarrassing.
-Really.
Your son is 16 and I'm 21.
It's the same.
No!
No, it's not the same.
Anyway, my mother looks way different.
She's much chubbier, you know?
She's like this, with skinny arms,
spots all over her body and face,
an upturned nose and a weird voice.
You never ran into her at the village?
No, never.
And she's got really big breasts, but...
You didn't breastfeed your kids, right?
And you're forgetting one thing.
Even though it's important...
I'm not your son.
And there's nothing going on
between us, is there?
No.
So, actually, there's no problem.
No problem at all.
You have something there.
You're a risk-taker.
You're an incredible woman.
Is that ironic?
Not at all. I'm so into you.
I've been with older women before,
but they were less...
Are you digging your own grave here?
No.
They were a lot less fun.
That's it actually.
Your skin feels funny. I love it.
Wanna go back for a swim?
No, you go ahead.
I'm cold.
Okay.
Having a swim, girls?
Hi, Mrs. Laporte.
Mr. Layrac.
Fancy running into you here.
Are you having a family holiday?
We just saw you with your son.
Yes!
Come on! We're not gonna swim without you!
Hello.
Hello.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Big families are such fun!
Come on, Mother, let's go.
Have a nice walk!
Who were those people?
A client.
Although, I might never see him again now.
Did you see his face?
I'm so sick of this job, you know?
Then why be a tax lawyer?
I don't know. I don't know anymore.
At the time, I was obsessed
with being financially independent.
I made some wrong choices.
Change jobs. Quit!
It's too late now.
Why? You're not 80.
Everything is possible.
It's not that easy.
Okay.
If you had a choice, what would you pick?
A family rights lawyer, for sure.
But that's impossible.
I'd have to go back to school,
build a new clientele,
-with my daughter in the middle--
-That's fine. Listen.
You keep your job as a freelancer.
You have time to study.
Since you're gorgeous...
and smart,
it'll be easy finding clients.
Not to mention
I'd find you even more arousing!
Calm down.
You little punk.
MR. ASSHOLE
MISSED CALLS (22)
Nina!
Mom!
My love!
Is it normal that her ex changes plans
every week?
-It's always like that.
-I see.
When do they stop being ecstatic
about their mom?
A year or two, tops.
She should make the best of it.
This means war!
-I'll make you pay!
-No!
No, sorry, I'm sorry!
Help!
Stop!
No, never!
Who is Paul?
He's a friend. He's nice.
He takes care of the sailing club.
You'll meet him tomorrow.
Can I go sailing?
Yes, we'll see.
Enough goofing around.
Go to bed now.
-No!
-Come on!
Not up for discussion.
Come on. Good night!
Good night!
Sweet dreams.
With witches!
Your daughter is so much fun!
She's very attentive. A real sailor.
So cute.
I'd have loved to have
instructors like them
-when I was a kid.
-Oh, yeah?
I prefer having them as a big girl.
You see what he's doing?
That's class right there!
Very sexy!
-I have to talk to him.
-About his bike?
Idiot.
I don't want to use him.
He makes me feel good.
He is sweet, nice.
-Now he's actually saying he loves me.
-Great!
-I have to tell him it won't go further.
-I get it.
You're not being abused, but loved.
Stop it.
No man can make you feel good.
A man?
I see a man on that bike!
He's a kid.
This isn't how I want to rebuild my life.
Age doesn't measure maturity.
Well, it does, a bit.
No. I'm going to talk to him.
-Here, right now?
-It's for the best.
I don't want to hurt him.
-I wanted to talk to you...
-Talk to me, I love that.
What are you doing?
Trying to make you squirt.
What?
Squirting: the most powerful
female ejaculation.
Great.
Come here, I'll show you what I like.
What did you do?
I told you I was coming.
You didn't climax?
I did, that's not the issue.
You didn't pull out.
Pull out?
No. Why?
That's fine, I showed you my HIV test.
Are you not on the pill?
Shit!
Shit, I'm sorry!
Since you were okay with no condom,
I thought you were on the pill.
And you pushed down on my bum.
-Shit, I'm sorry.
-No, it's okay.
It's my fault.
I'll take the morning-after pill.
I mean...
If you get pregnant
and you want to keep it...
-Just know I'll be there for you.
-Yeah, right.
No, I'm serious.
I'd love to have a child with you.
Also from a...
pragmatic perspective,
it's not the worst idea.
Say we're together
for at least five years,
it might be more complicated for you.
You're looking far into the future.
Maybe you're used to guys
who don't want to get invested.
Me... I am ready.
Come on, pass it, man!
Tackle!
Wait.
Goddamn, wait, I'm gonna tackle.
-Stop!
-Opening...
The house is all settled, right?
Or is there more to do?
Can we talk about your Pierrot necklace?
It's a gift from Markus.
No. Stop!
Stop it!
We need to vacuum a little
because the buyers are coming tomorrow.
I'm going shopping. See you later.
Cécile, I'll come with you.
I need to buy a couple of things too.
What a pussy!
-That Markus is very obliging.
-Very.
Okay...
Is that so?
So, you want to play with Paulo?
Where do you prefer to be tickled?
Paul, stop!
I've got those socks too, did you know?
Paul, let's play!
Yes, Dad?
I'm all right, you?
Yeah, awesome.
Fuck!
No, sorry.
Could you front me the money?
I'll pay you back
as soon as I get home.
Thanks, Dad.
Okay.
Tell her I love her
and I'll call her tomorrow.
Ciao!
Did you say hi to your mom for us?
Arriba!
These gym shoes are pretty nice, no?
These gym shoes?
-What's that?
-Well, these.
In the 21st century,
these are called trainers or sneakers.
Or kicks, even.
I have never heard of kicks.
I mean, that's expected.
It must've been weird in your day,
life in black and white, no colors.
What do you think of this monocle?
Yeah, not bad,
but I think these would suit you better.
Beautiful!
Like the woman in The Graduate.
You know that movie?
But it's not from your generation.
So, at my age, I can't be a cinephile?
Is that it?
-It works great with the hat!
-Really?
-It's awesome!
-You look great, darling.
Hello, Markus.
Hi, Marie-Christine.
Great to run into you.
It'll spare me the trip to your house.
I managed to get it back
without him noticing.
I'm speechless.
I'm off. Gege needs me at the bakery.
So, you know!
-Give him a kiss for me.
-I will!
-I'll grab you another one.
-I like this one.
-You won't get away!
-She's hiding!
No!
Sonia, go! Get her!
Go, Nina! You're the best!
It's funny seeing you as a mom.
Is it?
Does it freak you out?
No... What a weird question.
I don't know, just saying.
She likes you, you know.
Where do you live in Paris?
In the 20th.
-I like that area.
-Yeah.
I'm not far, I'm on République.
Alone or with roommates?
No, roommates is not an option.
When does your summer job end here?
End of August.
I really don't want to leave in two days!
You could come over in Paris.
There's room for you.
There's even an office to work in.
And my bed is very comfortable.
Cool, I'll probably drop by.
Want to do something tonight?
I think I'll stay in tonight.
I think I'll stay on my own.
Just wanna chill, you know?
You need to spend time
with your kid, right?
Mom, come play with us!
What do you mean,
"Mom, come play with us"?
Hey, Nina! Come here!
Why don't you call me? Nobody calls me!
Something wrong?
No, I'm fine. I'm a bit nauseous.
Don't do that with me, please.
What's the matter?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm so into that little punk.
You're awake already?
Don't move. You're resting today.
Since we're all done and you're
signing the agreement on Monday,
we decided to have a party.
What?
We're going shopping.
Nina wants to stay and feed the pelican.
-A party? Are you sure?
-Yes! See you later!
Is your DJ friend coming for sure?
Don't worry. He's a stand-up guy.
Paul invited a few people from Drakkar,
-is that okay?
-No problem.
He's calling nonstop
now that I'm not answering.
Who is this? Don't know, don't care.
Sorry, we've just finished!
-Hey!
-Want me to take that?
Good thing she doesn't have a gun,
I'd already be dead.
-Who?
-Who are you talking about?
Fuck, come on.
It sucks that we never had the right
to that kind of bisexuality!
You want me to French you?
-You should go talk to her.
-She's right, man.
Maybe then she'd stop texting me
to ask what you're up to all the time.
No way, I've got other things to do.
Besides, she doesn't need me.
Young girls don't bother him
as much as young guys.
Paul isn't coming?
He's giving
a private jet ski lesson now...
He'll join us later.
Okay.
Should we go?
Put this on the terrace.
In the shade.
Here... This as well.
-Is that all?
-Yes.
Be careful,
Nina's asleep in the living room.
Yeah.
Take this.
Actually, that's quite heavy.
Are you testing my strength
or can you take these off? Thanks.
I don't know how many we'll be
or what they've planned.
Hope it's enough.
We've got time, you know.
You can relax a bit.
Because you're stressed out...
I have a solution.
I'll take you away
and we'll escape on a boat.
Careful, I have my sailing license.
Shut up!
-Stop that, are you crazy?
-Fuck off!
Get down from there!
Go to hell!
This is stupid!
That girl needs help.
-We're not scared of you.
-You think I'm scared?
Idiot! You're gonna clean it up!
Get off the car! You're being ridiculous!
Louise, what is this?
Louise, stop it! This is ridiculous!
Shut up, you fucking old cougar,
or I'll end you!
You think you can just steal my man!
I didn't steal anything.
You're imagining things!
I'm imagining things? Me?
Stop your bullshit!
-What is she doing?
-That's pee.
-Shit!
-My car!
I can't believe she's peeing standing up.
Louise is such a stupid twat.
Why? Like you weren't like that at 20?
Your mother was!
-That's true!
-No!
-Yes!
-I was never like that,
I was really sweet.
-You were a little.
-I wasn't...
What did you say? Do it again!
You never what? Do it again!
Come on.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Go, go, Julien!
Come on!
Cécile is enjoying this party,
-did you see?
-Yes.
I have to admit I'm a little overwhelmed.
-In any case, farewell to Mr. Asshole.
-Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
-What are they playing?
-I don't know. Spin the bottle.
I'm putting Nina to bed.
Time for bed, my love.
-But, Mom... Please.
-Yes. Come on.
Hey.
I'm glad you left your boyfriend.
You okay?
I tried to talk to you every day,
but I couldn't do it.
I did leave Pascal, but...
it's nothing to do with us.
I adore you.
But you know our age difference
is enormous.
Why should we give a damn about that?
For some people, it can work.
I know how I operate
and I won't be able to deal with it.
But that's absurd.
Probably.
But that's who I am!
I'm a complicated person.
No, no pity!
I was making sure Nina was asleep.
-Were you looking for me?
-No, I was...
I was going to the bathroom.
Too many people downstairs.
Are you okay?
You don't seem well.
No, I'm okay.
Okay.
Before we drink far too much...
I wanted to tell you that...
I really appreciated
the moments we had together.
Is this goodbye then?
No! Don't be silly.
That's unique!
I'm not asking for anything.
We can stay in the moment.
You know that's not true.
I don't want to hurt you,
but I can tell you're already sad.
No, I'm not sad.
Listen, I dig you.
I dig you, but...
I don't want it to be more serious.
-Being a couple isn't for me.
-I get it.
You've seen what kind of a guy I am.
And you have your daughter.
Yeah, I do have my daughter.
It's a shame. I had the feeling
that everything was possible.
But clearly I was wrong.
Everything is possible.
But...
I'm too much of a jerk.
And you...
you're the most badass woman
I've ever met.
Can I hold you in my arms?
Don't tell me she's sleeping
with that kid. He could be her son.
You know, a woman's life expectancy
is 12 years longer than a man's.
If they don't want to die alone,
they should all have a guy
12 years younger than them.
Enjoy your evening.
Love!
Hey!
So, what do we say to Mommy?
Julien?
I was looking everywhere for you.
What are you doing here?
Careful!
Julien.
Get down.
You've had way too much to drink.
Leave me alone, I'm looking at the stars.
Yes. We can do that together, down here.
Or else...
I'll climb on the guardrail like you.
It's high!
Everything's moving!
Are you okay?
-Come!
-Are you hurt?
Come, let's sit.
Do you really have fear of heights?
I don't.
Yes!
Come on, Markus!
This is the right time to create
this fucking opening. Move!
Yeah!
Yeah!
You do it!
It's better, right?
It's much better.
Harder!
Why didn't you wait for me
to break the wall? Not cool.
Won't it piss off the buyers?
I'm not sure I'm going to sell anymore.
Yeah!
Thank you.
Which room did you sleep in, Markus?
Isn't that your pelican?
Oh, yeah.
He's beautiful.
Bye, cute pelican!
Yeah, what room did you sleep in, Markus?
Subtitle translation by Claudia Patricia
Yes, dear. Are you settled in?
No, stop saying your stomach is in knots.
See you in three weeks.
I'll call you every day.
Yes,
vacation with your dad will go fine.
-I'll give them a kiss.
-Kiss-kiss, Nina!
Kiss-kiss, dear.
I love you, peanut.
You can't use earbuds while driving.
You've been holding onto your seat
since Paris.
I'm super scared. Tell her!
It doesn't bother me.
Yeah, my driving is fine.
Relax, we're on vacation.
Not really. That'll be later.
We have lots to do in the house.
The buyers will come back
for the follow-up visit.
I want to settle this fast.
Relax, we'll get it done.
I have some news.
I've changed plans a little.
Meaning?
I'm joining Pascal in Ibiza in a few days.
Last-minute decision.
Awesome.
Old bad habits from high school?
No, not at all.
I'm not ditching you.
Just leaving a little sooner. Stop.
I couldn't say no.
He's never asked me to go with him.
He's about to leave her.
Oh, yeah? Haven't I heard that before?
-Pathetic.
-Stop.
I know what you think. Now it's different.
"Mr. Asshole"? What...
What is this?
You messed with my phone when we stopped?
No, why?
That guy's crazy!
That asshole
is tailgating and pressuring me!
Think I'm scared of you
and your headlights?
-Let him pass, it's dangerous!
-They're cute.
Pass, you moron,
you won't be disappointed.
Take the wheel.
-Take the wheel, Sonia!
-No!
No, Elise, stop! No!
No! Stop! No!
Stop! Stop it!
My God! You're crazy!
Shit!
Oh, no...
Let's pull over.
PLEASE FOLLOW US
What are the odds of getting stopped
by the cops on a road like this?
I'm screwed without a license.
Take the test again in six months.
How could you offer
to blow the policemen?
We could've ended up in custody.
They seemed to have a sense of humor.
Where's the light switch?
How long has it been since you were here?
Three years.
It still smells like him, right?
Okay, let's put on some music.
Elise, you'll take Leo's room,
and, Sonia, you take Melie's.
I can sleep in your room. I don't mind.
-No, it's fine.
-You sure?
Yeah...
What is that?
It looks like a pelican.
It's huge!
How did it get here?
Hello, little pelican!
All right, so, room one.
Sonia, you'll take care of it with Elise.
Can you put your phone down and help?
-Hang on.
-Always the same.
"Love you, Pascal."
How do we do this?
No idea, I'm scared.
-That's better, no?
-Yeah.
I get it, this isn't much fun,
but we have to organize ourselves.
Can you help?
-Yes, I'm still typing.
-Yes? Come on.
Come here...
Easy. Okay...
Mating takes place mostly in the spring,
after hibernation.
Males are fertile from April to August.
MY STOMACH'S NOT IN KNOTS ANYMORE.
LUV U MOM
I LOVE YOU TOO, MY DARLING.
SLEEP TIGHT.
I've installed AdoptAGuy for you,
just in case.
Use it when you're ready.
It's not bad.
How long have we been here?
I can't take it.
We could take a break tomorrow.
I agree. We need to get some air.
You agree, Cécile?
It's important
to take care of yourself too.
I'd love to go sailing!
You still have it?
Sailing, great idea. Isn't it, Cécile?
Is that good?
Yeah. Sailing is good.
Great idea. Wonderful.
I love the... wind.
Sonia!
Follow me, okay?
Do what Axel does.
Axel, you said the sailing was good?
-Yeah.
-There. Nice and taut. Pull...
What's with those dumb bitches?
Don't they know how to drive?
Cécile!
You seem to be having fun!
Not bad for some secondhand booty!
Tell me about it!
Sailing looks super fun!
It's not at all
for old fogies like I thought.
Idiot!
Fuck, they're not noticing us at all.
-Kevin! Come here!
-Yes.
What did I do? But...
What are you doing, dude?
He's drowning!
Give me your hand.
What happened? I don't get it.
-Is he hurt?
-He'll be fine, thanks.
I intervened in time.
He capsized because of you.
It's dangerous riding so close.
Well, I didn't think we did. We're sorry!
-You okay, sweetie?
-Don't worry, we're on it.
If you want,
we could teach you how to drive.
That's okay. We'll be more careful.
It'd be safer
if we give you some lessons.
We can teach you the right reflexes
and the right positions.
Okay, great.
I could teach you how to shave.
I'm sure you can teach me a lot.
Yeah... well, see you.
See you.
Later, David Hasselhoff!
Who's David Hasselhoff?
I'm too scared to call your other phone,
call me back!
Let me know about the hotel
and all the rest.
I miss you.
All good?
His wife, kids, how are they?
Look out, girls.
That's a professional camel toe.
-A what?
-Tight pants up the vajayjay.
You call it "camel toe"?
-I call it ninja foot.
-Show some compassion.
We don't have to use
your stupid trendy Parisian codes.
No, Cécile!
I gotta admit, it's huge.
-Shit, it's Marie-Christine!
-You know her?
The baker's wife. I like her,
but I don't want to see her right now.
Shit! Do you ever talk fashion?
Stop! She'll want to talk
about Laurent. Hide me.
Do something! Hurry!
-Not that! No!
-That look! It's amazing.
-No, stop! Is she gone?
-No.
Not yet. Careful, she's near.
Cécile? Is that you?
-Marie-Christine.
-What are you doing?
These are my friends.
-Sonia, Elise.
-Nice to meet you.
Sweetie, you came back!
I'm so happy to see you!
How are you?
I hope it isn't too hard without Laurent.
-I'm going to sell, actually.
-I know, I heard.
-And the kids?
-Good, they're away at camp.
Hey, let's go swimming! Come on!
How's the bakery doing, good?
Good, working a lot as usual.
Yeah, not bad!
Cécile, tell me you know him.
-He's from here?
-He'd be perfect for you!
I doubt it, no one's interested in me.
A widow at my age, unemployed,
with two teenagers... Honestly...
Well, that's Thomas.
I rented the house to him.
-Marie-Christine!
-Thomas!
Always working out, huh?
These are my friends.
-Cécile...
-Hello.
-Sonia and...
-Elise, I'm Elise.
-Hi.
-Hello.
I won't hug you, I'm sweaty.
Jogging at this hour is not a great idea.
It can be dangerous at our age.
I'm an expert on heart attacks.
Sorry. Pretend I didn't say anything.
Still coming over tonight?
Of course!
Then I'm taking you all dancing
at Drakkar!
-We'll see.
-Off you go!
Bye.
I hope Marie-Christine will wear
a sparkly camel toe.
-She'd better bring Thomas.
-Yes.
I feel bad about leaving Cécile alone.
No, don't worry. She must be asleep.
-You think?
-Yes.
Go ahead, idiot.
Leica, come on!
Everyone's cutting us in line?
Membership card.
Excuse me?
Who invited you?
Your mom.
She coming to pick you up soon?
You can ask her yourself
at the Scrabble club.
Wait at the side, please.
What a little bitch!
Good evening.
Who does she think she is?
Is she crazy or what?
Hey, enough.
-Stop it.
-You talking to me?
Can I go in now?
No, you can't.
But you can go home, yeah.
-Who do you think you are?
-Raph, leave her alone.
I'll handle it.
I'll give you five seconds to go.
You turn me on with your power trip.
Five...
four... three...
two... one.
Hey, you okay? Go on.
Was that Krav Maga?
No point telling her
that we get in everywhere in Paris.
Having trouble in the South?
You want to get in?
We can help,
but you have to be nice to us.
The queens of speed.
I didn't recognize you.
You look shorter without your Zodiacs.
-She's laughing at you, man.
-Yeah.
-Louise, let them in.
-You know them?
Yeah, I do. Be nice to them.
They're old friends.
I'll say.
Great to see you.
-Julien, come on!
-Wanna join me later?
I don't know. We'll see.
-What do you mean?
-Julien!
You know, life.
Thanks again.
I don't think she'd have let us in.
It's okay, relax. It wasn't very hard.
-What are you having?
-Nothing, we're good.
This place is expensive!
We drank before coming.
We even stashed a bottle outside.
No, it's on us.
Which cocktails are good here?
It's fine. Forget that. Rico!
Five vodka Red Bulls, please.
Thanks.
See, we're nice.
More important, you're hot.
Five Red Bulls. Forty-five euros.
It's okay. Keep the change.
Royal at the bar!
Weird, no?
-That aftertaste?
-Yes.
That's GHB.
They're still following you around?
Hey, that's enough.
It's dead here. I'm going back to work.
-Come to see me later?
-I have no choice.
I gotta get through the door to get out.
Is she your girlfriend?
No.
We hooked up at a party, but...
She's been imagining things since.
Forget it.
Yeah!
Should we bounce?
How about an after-party?
After-party? What for?
It could be cool!
No, thanks, but it's late.
The night's just getting started.
And the darkness suits you.
As opposed to daylight?
-You have an answer for everything?
-Yeah.
Really?
We can stay together longer.
We could go to the beach,
my place, wherever.
I don't think so. I'm going home.
-Paul, leave them alone.
-Sure?
-Yeah. Bye.
-Bye. Stop it.
He sure is confident. He swooped right in!
He's crazy. I should file a complaint.
-How old do you think he is?
-Twelve and a half?
Idiot! No, he's at least 23.
Even at 23, he's a child.
The little punk's a good kisser.
She did what we asked. It's...
What's wrong with her?
-Cécile.
-How many did she do?
-I told you we shouldn't leave her alone!
-How many...
What?
This isn't funny! Why are you laughing?
She's so stupid.
-Should we put her back to bed?
-No!
-We're not putting her back to bed!
-Come on, let's go.
We can grab her like this!
Hey, guys!
Can you help move the catamaran out?
Shut it.
Seriously?
-Shit, check it.
-Look. Just on the right. You see?
-Let me see.
-No.
You bastard.
What's he doing there?
She's scared of the ball.
No, you're wrong.
I'm not an eternal bachelor. I'm a dad.
-Yeah?
-I've got a six-year-old boy.
His name is Sacha.
You might run into him.
I've been separated
for almost three years now.
Classic.
All couples split up
when the child turns two or three.
Is that you being optimistic?
No, just realistic.
Too bad you weren't at Drakkar yesterday.
Clubs aren't my thing.
No, me... I prefer watching
a cozy TV series in bed, you know?
What about you?
How come
you haven't rebuilt your life yet?
"What about you? How come
you haven't rebuilt your life yet?"
-No, please!
-What?
Not this stupid expression:
"rebuild your life."
If you're not a traditional couple,
you don't have a life?
-Yeah.
-Yep.
Yes, good point.
This house is beautiful.
-If your buyers back out, let me know.
-Okay.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
Well, I should get going.
Me too, I've got loads to do.
My son's cooking class is about to end.
Is your son really on vacation?
If you had kids, you'd know
it's convenient to keep them busy.
Where's the bathroom?
Upstairs, second door on the left.
-Okay.
-I'll wait for you.
He's actually a jerk!
Asshole.
-Hi!
-Hi!
We didn't know where the gate was.
So...
-Hi, Sonia!
-Hi!
-Hi.
-You know each other?
Yeah. We met them last night.
Did we give them the address?
-I don't know.
-Hi.
Mrs. Camus.
-Markus?
-Yeah, it's me.
You've grown so much. I mean, changed!
What are you doing here?
I came for dinner with my friends.
I thought you'd sold the house.
No, actually, that's why I came back.
I didn't know you were friends.
They're helping me with the sale.
Okay.
It's great to see you again, ma'am.
Thank you. Don't just stand here. I...
And stop calling me "ma'am." Come in.
-Thank you.
-Thanks.
You remember inviting us to dinner?
This isn't awkward, right?
No. I mean, I...
Hi, Mr. Tissot.
Do we know each other?
We met at the sailing club.
We take care of your son. Sacha, right?
Right.
You're the instructors or something?
Yeah.
By the way,
this is for you.
They're lemons.
Thank you.
-Nice.
-Welcome.
Not too hungover today?
We were really wasted last night.
You two were having trouble
walking toward the end.
We had a hard time getting to work.
-You look beautiful today.
-Thanks.
I brought this...
To go with the lemons.
-That's cool!
-Tequila, really?
Yeah, it's for getting hammered!
Yeah, well...
Tequila is convenient
when you're flat broke, right?
Excuse me?
It's okay. I know what it's like.
I had summer jobs too.
All I wanted was to get wasted...
...and bang girls.
I guess we haven't had the same youth.
Aren't you guys cute?
Trying to be big men.
Who is this asshole?
Your boyfriend?
Would you like something to drink?
All right, this time, I'm off.
Yeah.
Oh, and...
before I forget...
You should keep
the club's equipment cleaner.
See... it's not quite up to par.
Your boss told me not to hesitate
to give him feedback...
I'd hate to have to tell on you.
-Yeah, right. Suck it, buddy.
-Excuse me?
Thomas, aren't you running late?
For your son.
Who does he think he is?
Are you okay?
I just don't respond well
to condescension.
See you.
I can't believe Thomas' reaction.
I'm shocked.
Why did you invite them?
Did you know Markus
used to babysit Leo and Melie?
This is ridiculous.
-Relax, it's no big deal.
-No, it's no big deal, but...
Besides, I don't remember inviting them,
I swear.
-Awesome.
-No, it's true.
Is this okay?
No.
-Yeah, it's fine.
-Which one of you is the psycho?
What's going on?
Do you frame them after?
Come, let's go outside.
Did you know SpongeBob
was gay with Patrick the starfish?
-Okay.
-Go!
-Slice?
-There! What's going on?
-Go! Hey, go.
-Again.
Wait.
Yes!
-What are you guys studying?
-I'm a second-year law student.
-So, you're taking the DEUG?
-The DEUG?
Well, the equivalent. Because...
"DEUG" doesn't exist anymore, right?
-Yeah, right.
-Sorry.
Okay!
What do you do, Markus?
You work at the sailing club too?
Yes. Yeah, I do.
I'm manager of the sailing club.
I supervise operations
and watch them work. That's it.
I'm more or less studying for my BEng...
-What?
-"I'm studying for my BEng."
He's 80 or what?
No, I'm more or less
studying engineering, if you prefer.
I haven't certified my second year.
Next year, either I have to repeat...
Why are you looking at me?
-What's with you, guys?
-I'm listening.
My second option is, I have coder friends
who are building a start-up.
Maybe I'll work there.
I'm on the fence about working with them.
I don't know yet.
Come on, stop!
Why don't you tell her you wanna leave
Paris so you don't run into your ex?
Fuck, shut up!
I haven't given a damn about her
for a thousand years!
And I didn't ask you to unpack my shit
in public.
He's right. And be careful.
We could destroy your career
by telling them about your hazing
in medical school, you bastard!
-What accent is that?
-I don't know.
-That's racist.
-No.
You studied medicine?
-Yep.
-What specialty?
His specialty is money.
It's... Money, love, caramel of all sorts.
-Creole!
-Yes!
-You're sort of the accent specialist.
-That's right!
No, Sonia, I...
I'm taking a gap year.
I'll get small jobs until I know for sure.
This guy passed his first year
of medical school on the first try,
and since he was tired,
he decided to take a sabbatical.
That's a shame.
No, why?
It gives me more time to spend with you.
For example...
You have gorgeous eyes.
And he bites his lips to boot.
So, you like older women?
No, I don't have a specific type.
And you're not old.
Besides, at the club now...
There are some young girls.
Stop it, idiot.
Bullshit, they're not even 12. Stop it.
So? As long as there's turf, I'm game.
Cécile, I was kidding.
Everyone gets that I was kidding, right?
No, I don't think so.
Okay, I'll say it again.
I'll say it in English: "I was kidding."
I could say it in Finnish,
but I'm not sure you speak Finnish.
What's that?
He's proud, and he's gonna blow smoke.
Sweetie, it's Mom.
I was thinking about you
and your camp monitors.
I was wondering if they were nice,
if everything was okay.
Sweetheart,
if there's anything,
you need to tell me about it.
You mustn't hesitate.
You need to tell me things.
Don't be afraid.
Be vigilant.
Give Leo a kiss for me. Love you, sweetie.
Where do I put this?
I don't know. There.
That's great. Over there.
It's weird being here.
I'd also love to see...
To see Leo and Melie again.
They're good?
Great. I just left them a message.
I don't even know if I'd recognize them.
Because...
-They must have grown.
-Well, yeah, like you!
-Yeah.
-They have grown.
Should I bring something?
No.
-Thanks.
-Nothing. Okay.
Thank you.
The first time I saw you,
you blew me away.
Yeah? You've got your work cut out
with me.
I'm not easy.
I love a challenge.
-Sonia, it's our jam!
-Awesome!
-You don't know it?
-No.
Come on!
Hey, come on!
Come on, Julien! Come on!
This is insane.
It's elegant, it's refined...
Did you work as a sommelier or what?
I have so many memories here, it's weird.
I loved coming over
to watch your kids.
They liked you a lot.
Laurent thought you were a bit young,
but I trusted you completely.
Even though I'm super anxious
with my kids.
I remember you often put your hair up
with a pencil.
Really?
I thought that was wild.
-Is something wrong?
-No.
I've always wanted to tear that wall down
to get access to the garden.
So, why didn't you do it? Was it...
I don't know. Laurent was never on board.
Well, then, to this wall.
-And to this virtual opening.
-Cheers!
See?
He is the artist
I'm taking care of these days.
I do all his promos, is press...
Oh, yeah. I actually know who this is!
And...
You manage lots of singers?
Yeah, quite a few.
With very different styles.
I suppose they all have a meaning?
Yeah.
Is Léa your ex-girlfriend?
No, it's my mom's name.
Oh, yeah?
Are you jealous?
No.
MR. ASSHOLE
Sorry, I'll be right back.
Girls!
Chupa.
Chupa me.
Chupa, chupa me!
Chupa!
Those butt calls are always awful.
It happened with me and my dad.
What an asshole!
Did you call him?
He's still not picking up?
What the hell does this shit mean?
"Chupa, chupa me!"
Hang on, is that your boyfriend?
Because...
"chupa, chupa me",
in Spanish, it means:
"Suck me off."
-Suck me off?
-Suck me off.
Suck me off?
You sure that's what it means?
100%, I mean...
Chupa, chupa me!
If I may, Julien aced Spanish class
from the eighth grade till much later.
-He even did Erasmus, so...
-It isn't the time.
What he's doing to you is despicable!
I'd snap if I were you!
Cécile, what's happening to you?
I hate this kind of situation,
it makes me sick!
We're going out!
-Right now?
-Yes. We're going for ice cream!
Everything's closed now.
She's crazy...
She won't do it.
You're the best!
Who wants what?
I don't want any!
Raspberry!
Yes!
Raspberry!
Raspberry!
Here, Cécile.
From here on,
-you eat with your fingers.
-Yeah.
No, thanks.
No? You?
Wait, me too. Want to share?
It's so good!
Raspberry...
Hang on, this one too.
You okay? I'm not too heavy?
Where to now?
Aren't there any windows on this car?
No, they're stuck.
I'm too hot too, even with the roof open.
It's hot!
Let's go for a swim!
I don't have my bathing suit!
Come on, a midnight swim!
Come on!
Come on, don't be wusses!
Come on!
Yeah, let's go skinny dipping!
Dude, can you stop for two seconds?
I need to get out, I don't feel good.
Are you sick?
Sorry, I need some air right now.
-You okay, man?
-I'll walk home.
-Your face is weird.
-Do you need me?
Did you drink too much?
Are you sick?
What's that?
Did you piss yourself?
It's nothing. Leave me alone.
Fuck, did you cream your pants?
When?
You guys are a pain in the ass!
Fuck... It's never happened to me before!
I just want to disappear!
That's so embarrassing, check it!
FROM PAUL
YOU'RE THE HOTTEST OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS
-Wash your face!
-I love it...
Let's put everything in the trunk.
YOU'RE A HOT GIRLFRIEND TOO
Come on, let's go. You're so slow!
-Midnight swim!
-Do we have to obey you?
-Yes. You do.
-She's the boss.
Yeah, I'm the boss.
-Here, boss.
-Hurry up!
-What did you put in our drinks?
-Nothing.
-Hurry up!
-Enough!
Let go of me!
Hands off! Unbelievable...
Always touching me.
Come on. Come!
Cécile, what happened?
You look like a child.
You don't fuck for three years,
but you bother to do that?
I'm free, I'm experimenting!
Come on, let's go!
I hope it's not permanent.
It might be less glamorous
when you're 75!
The water's nice.
I'll show you!
I hadn't been skinny dipping for ages.
-It was so good!
-The keys?
It can't be. You guys are so stupid!
I'm cold!
Shit, I'm sorry! What do we do?
Screw you and your crappy old car!
-It's Laurent's car.
-Screw him too. Just have sex already!
Come on! What are you talking about?
You think the same.
She can't play the victim
and wax her pussy, enough of that!
Did you hear that?
What?
Listen.
What is it?
-Nothing, it must be an animal.
-Oh, no.
Let's get in through the roof.
How do you open the window?
It's stuck.
Are you sure?
Yes, that thing is impossible to remove.
Great, there's a vest.
I'll take the floor mat.
There is no one. Just an animal.
Really?
Yeah.
Maybe it was Mr. Asshole
trying to scare us.
And he wanted Sonia
to get "Chupa, chupa me!"
When the dawn comes,
we'll see more clearly.
"When the dawn comes,
we'll see more clearly."
That's a powerful sentence.
-Fuck you!
-Oh, please.
Sonia, what is that?
Maybe I can get those cops
to come help us. You never know.
Did you sleep under the stars?
Yeah.
-You still jogging?
-Yeah.
I try to stay in shape.
If it helps you relax.
Ask him to help us.
Ask him!
Yes, ask him! You're an asshole!
-Hi!
-Hi.
Can you help us?
Please...
The trunk is really stuck.
I'm sorry I upset you yesterday.
It wasn't my goal.
I bet.
I'm sorry, really.
I know it's silly, but...
I often lose my cool with...
With little punks.
There you go!
"Little punks"?
You're still doing it. No respect?
Do you measure intelligence
by age or social class?
The little punks
have ten times better manners than you do.
Thanks for the trunk.
-No, but it's not...
-No!
Okay, the last two.
Go and see Matthieu.
Is it going good?
-Yes.
-Drinking enough water?
Stay with Koran.
Here, Paul?
Can you look after Enzo?
-You all right, kiddo?
-Yes.
You can wear this.
FROM PAUL
MIDNIGHT SWIM FOR ME TOO...
... BUT AT NOON
YOUR TURN NOW
GIRLS FALL IN LOVE WITH WHAT THEY HEAR,
GUYS WITH WHAT THEY SEE.
What are you doing?
-I'm struggling!
-Is this for Paul?
Not that way, I'll help you.
If you do it that way,
he'll know it's not a selfie.
No, stick your hand out,
like you're taking the picture.
Watch out for the ass folds.
There, this is a good one.
No! Let's do one with the mirror!
It's a trick.
We always look hotter in a mirror.
Like this.
-Okay. Do you take these often?
-Yes.
-Like that?
-Too much fabric.
Show your ass.
It looks like a porno.
No, this looks like a porno!
He can't see you in the mirror.
Right...
-No, are you kidding me?
-What?
I lost my bracelet.
Laurent's bracelet.
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure.
We looked everywhere.
I must have lost it yesterday evening.
-Because of all your bullshit.
-Cécile, you're going too far.
You're the one who wanted ice cream
and a midnight swim!
Don't you pick up!
"Chupa me" wasn't enough for you?
This is all because of that asshole!
And those kids you brought over.
-Bullshit!
-No...
Yes! We should be cleaning
this fucking house to sell it!
And why did you guys come?
For reassurance
in your powers of seduction?
Now I have lost Laurent's bracelet!
You're upset, calm down.
We'll keep cleaning.
No. I've had time to think.
You're going home. Please.
I'll stay here and mourn this house.
All right, then.
I'll finish the room and pack my bag.
-I'm coming.
-Wait!
I apologize for what I said earlier.
I didn't mean a word of it.
Thank you for being here with me.
I'm sorry.
FROM PAUL
GORGEOUS
ELISE
4 HOURS NO ANSWER
I WAS STARTING TO THINK
YOU LIKE BIG BUTTS :)
In that case, I'm going for a shower!
You're so sensual.
Man, aren't you tired?
What time did you get home?
It was wild, man.
I was so freaked out about
her having an old lady's pussy.
Especially since she has a kid,
but not at all.
Dude, come on!
Seriously? It's 8:00 a.m.
and you're already talking about that?
She's really fit for her age.
No difference from a 20-year-old chick.
Seriously, Julien,
you really got to fuck Sonia.
Shut up.
Get moving, the club opens in ten minutes.
Shit, what a pig!
Beat it, guys. I can't sleep.
I see that some of us are taking it easy!
We're out of food,
go buy some Nutella!
Yeah, right. Want a blow job too?
-See you later, baby!
-Beat it!
Sleep tight!
So we don't care about returning
to the crime scene?
Mimi, I'm counting on you!
Watch out.
Look who's here!
Beautiful!
-Hi, Marie-Christine.
-Hi.
How are you?
Good.
It's so lovely to see you!
How's it going?
I love these little hearts!
-Thank you.
-Gorgeous.
-I'm never wearing this again.
-Hello.
I'm sorry, but I'm out of ice cream.
Some vandals broke into my freezer.
It's all melted.
I'm still waiting for the delivery.
-How are you, Markus?
-Hey, Michel.
No raspberry sorbet?
No. I've got pies, if you'd like.
Do you know anyone called Laurent?
Because I found a bracelet with "Laurent"
engraved on it in my freezer.
That's crazy.
That asshole must be called Laurent.
It'll help me pay for what I lost.
It's not such a big deal, Mimi!
It happens in this business,
especially in the summer.
Right, I'm off.
Enjoy yourselves, everyone!
-Arrivederci!
-Ciao!
-She's sweet.
-Yeah.
You okay?
Yeah.
Elise, are you serious?
What?
Right on! The man respects the planet.
-Not like some others.
-Stop it.
-Don't you smoke?
-No. I mean, not really.
Look at that cute doggy!
Oh, yeah.
That dog, in dog years,
-is older than your boyfriend.
-Idiot!
You finished your beer?
People will call us cougars.
-No way.
-You're not cougars.
You're more like... MILFs.
What is that?
MILF or "Mother I would Like to Fuck."
See, it's a compliment.
Cougars are on the prowl,
but a MILF isn't looking for anything.
Indeed, that makes a huge difference.
Well, I doubt I'll ever be a mother.
I like MILFs.
You're such a moron.
-No, Sonia. We'll pay.
-No, it's my pleasure.
Next time is on us.
We got tickets. Here.
That's nice, thanks!
You smell really good.
Cool, thanks.
It's a girls' race.
Try it, it'll be a laugh.
I don't feel like it.
That's no fun.
No point if you don't do it.
Look who's coming.
What up, grannies?
Anyone bold enough to race me?
Is she confident because she's young
or because she's blonde?
I want to murder her.
Or maybe you're too scared?
Yes, I'm so scared!
You're not that scary.
Cool, we'll have some fun then.
Yes, we'll have some fun.
What a little bitch!
You know what? We're doing the race.
-What, are you serious?
-Very serious.
-Everyone good?
-Yeah!
Are you ready?
Yeah!
Why the megaphone? He's one meter away!
Ready? Here they come!
Believe me,
the thoroughbreds better watch out!
Yeah!
Look, there's Marie-Christine.
-Hey, camel-toe!
-Stop it.
Here come the wild beasts
and their tamers!
We're gonna make it.
Okay? You're the best.
You've seen too many movies.
Three, two, one...
Come on!
Come on!
Go! Come on!
Go!
Come on!
Go, Cécile!
Come on!
Let's go!
She's going to knock her off!
Come on, we're gonna win!
Hey, that's my friend!
Come on, Cécile!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yes, Cécile, yes!
-Cécile!
-Yeah!
-Cécile!
-Yeah!
Weren't we parked here?
Where are Elise and Paul?
They left ten minutes ago.
In fact, she would appreciate
if we took our time getting home.
Is this a joke?
I'm so pissed.
I wanted to invite you
to my parents' place,
but they rented it out.
In any case,
you've gotten me into cocktails again.
I haven't had one this good
in a super long time.
-Yes.
-Let's go soon.
I'm exhausted.
No wonder, after that race.
I'll head out with you. I don't live far.
Here.
A present for the winner.
Thank you.
Many thanks, my lady!
-Sonia, you coming?
-Yes.
Okay, goodbye, then.
-I'm leaving tomorrow.
-What?
Yes, I'm going to Spain.
Well...
Thanks for the lift.
Congratulations again. I was impressed.
Thank you.
Well, bye.
-Stay safe going home, okay?
-Bye!
Right, bye.
"Many thanks, my lady"?
I had the same car as a kid!
A Lotus...
You work even when you're on vacation?
How old are you, anyway?
How about you shut your mouth?
Ever played "Yes, Master"?
-What?
-"Yes, Master."
-What's that?
-Ask me anything,
I'll reply: "Yes, Master" and I obey.
You up for it?
Why not? It sounds intriguing.
Have we started?
Yes, Master!
Okay.
Go on.
Start with a little striptease.
Not bad.
Getting aggressive?
Oh, the suspense!
Yes, Master!
That's the smallest dick
I've seen in my life!
Liar.
Your next orders?
Anything I want, you sure?
Are you really sure?
Yes, Master.
Can you do the helicopter blade?
Yeah...
I love this game!
He can snap his fingers
and you come running. It's absurd!
Please don't judge me too harshly.
You'll be okay with the house?
We made a lot of progress.
Yeah, they're definitely upstairs.
Not going to bed?
I'll stay here, thanks.
Good night.
Good night, sweetie.
Are you crazy? What are you doing here?
-I wasn't sure which was your room.
-You're mad!
I couldn't let you go
without seeing you again.
You think you're Romeo?
This is cute,
but I need to finish packing.
Can I help?
No, you're sweet, I'm fine.
Want me to leave you alone?
No, it's...
FROM: PASCAL JICLON
SORRY DEAR. I HAD TO GET BACK TO PARIS,
THE KIDS KEPT ASKING FOR ME...
I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I CAN,
IT'S COMPLICATED RIGHT NOW
ENJOY YOUR VACATION. LOVE...
Yes, I fed the pelican. Of course, I did.
He may have stolen my room,
but I'm not mad at him.
Don't be jealous.
You didn't know the cockslap, did you?
You're gonna make me come so hard.
You know that, bitch?
Aren't I supposed to give the orders?
Yes, ma'am!
"Yes, Master" is okay...
"Yes, ma'am" isn't happening.
Wait...
No, sorry,
I don't know what's wrong with me.
It's okay.
Maybe you've had too much to drink?
No, not even.
You've watched a lot of porn, haven't you?
Yes. How did you know?
Have you never slept with an older woman?
No, not really.
But it's not because of that.
I shouldn't have...
What?
I really wanted to impress you tonight,
so...
Like a moron,
I jerked off before coming here.
Just in case.
-You idiot.
-Fuck.
Do you want me to leave?
Not at all.
Come here.
Let's cuddle like this.
You don't mind?
No, this feels great.
-My love.
-Mommy...
-Are you okay, baby?
-I'm calling you in secret.
Yes, sweetie.
I can't sleep.
-They want to expel Leo from camp.
-Leo?
What do you mean?
He slept in a 25-year-old monitor's bed.
And since he's 16,
they're saying it's not normal.
You're not mad?
That's totally normal. It's great.
Twenty-five years old is great.
It's good. I think it's great.
Mommy?
What's wrong?
Angry? No.
I'm not angry at all.
-No, he's very handsome. Gorgeous.
-What?
-Very much so.
-What are you saying?
Lots of kisses.
-What are you looking at?
-Lots of kisses.
Mommy?
Lots of kisses.
-That's it.
-Someone's coming, bye.
I'm waiting for your next orders.
Already?
You'll never be able to make love
with any other man now.
It was fun, right?
Yeah.
What?
Nothing. Be quiet, you'll wake them.
Yeah, it was fun.
You didn't like it? Was it just okay?
I mean, I lasted long. No?
It's not just about that.
Are you pouting?
-No.
-Yes, you're pouting!
-No.
-Yes, you are! Like this.
Listen, it was perfect.
It's just that...
You can be a little more gentle...
Yeah.
We don't have to change positions
every four minutes.
Here, I'll show you.
Hello?
Julien speaking.
Shit, I got the wrong phone.
Hello, sir.
She's taking a shower right now.
No, it's not a joke. Hello?
Hello?
Sorry,
I answered your phone
thinking it was mine,
-and so they hung up on me.
-Who was it?
I screwed up, right?
Are you mad at me?
Shit, Paul! You're a dick!
We said no spinning!
Dammit!
That got the MILF going last night.
"Oh, yes, Paul! Fill me, fill me!
Do it! You're so hard! Don't stop!
Deeper! You feel so good, keep going!"
What a fucking liar.
I know, right.
I swear, it was wild.
She's really super hot.
I made her come seven times.
Don't worry, your turn will come.
Haven't you ever heard of women faking it?
Believe me, she wasn't faking.
What about you, Ju?
He almost left
through the window today.
I know, this asshole told me everything.
What, and you don't tell me?
So, did you finally bang her or what?
Mind your own ass.
Can't you be more respectful?
Here we go, the guy's in love.
You're such a pussy!
It was a nice change
from the little virgins!
Fuck, Kevin! We said no spinning!
Seriously! That's twice I've told you!
Girls, my house isn't a love motel.
I thought you were here to help.
Don't exaggerate.
Besides, we're almost done.
It's not the end of the world
if we have some fun, is it?
You think it's fun, but in reality
you're more depressed than I am.
I don't know,
this makes me terribly uncomfortable.
Have you seen how old they are?
Isn't that a problem for you?
Not at all!
Please, no. Not you too, Cécile!
Enough with the prejudice.
People have been accepting
men with younger women for ages.
But women should be ashamed? No.
Maybe a little further?
There'll be fewer people.
We're closer to the sailing club.
The boys might join us
on their lunch break.
Was it good?
They're athletic at that age.
I'm not sure that YouPorn and company
are benefiting the youth.
What about you?
I was really stunned by Pascal's e-mail.
I can't believe he never called you back,
that guy's a pig!
You shouldn't get back with him.
Yeah. Otherwise, we will have to give you
a little spanking!
Yeah, totally.
Can you scooch over a bit?
Please.
-Something wrong?
-No, I'm fine.
I can tell you're not fine,
I'm not stupid.
What's the matter?
You wanted the floating mattress, that it?
Yeah, it was my dream.
No, I mean...
Don't feel obliged to keep me company.
Okay, yeah.
So, you're not okay at all.
Tell me what's wrong.
I don't know, everything.
What's everything?
All of this.
Don't you think it's little odd?
I look like I could be your mother, so...
-It's embarrassing.
-Really.
Your son is 16 and I'm 21.
It's the same.
No!
No, it's not the same.
Anyway, my mother looks way different.
She's much chubbier, you know?
She's like this, with skinny arms,
spots all over her body and face,
an upturned nose and a weird voice.
You never ran into her at the village?
No, never.
And she's got really big breasts, but...
You didn't breastfeed your kids, right?
And you're forgetting one thing.
Even though it's important...
I'm not your son.
And there's nothing going on
between us, is there?
No.
So, actually, there's no problem.
No problem at all.
You have something there.
You're a risk-taker.
You're an incredible woman.
Is that ironic?
Not at all. I'm so into you.
I've been with older women before,
but they were less...
Are you digging your own grave here?
No.
They were a lot less fun.
That's it actually.
Your skin feels funny. I love it.
Wanna go back for a swim?
No, you go ahead.
I'm cold.
Okay.
Having a swim, girls?
Hi, Mrs. Laporte.
Mr. Layrac.
Fancy running into you here.
Are you having a family holiday?
We just saw you with your son.
Yes!
Come on! We're not gonna swim without you!
Hello.
Hello.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Big families are such fun!
Come on, Mother, let's go.
Have a nice walk!
Who were those people?
A client.
Although, I might never see him again now.
Did you see his face?
I'm so sick of this job, you know?
Then why be a tax lawyer?
I don't know. I don't know anymore.
At the time, I was obsessed
with being financially independent.
I made some wrong choices.
Change jobs. Quit!
It's too late now.
Why? You're not 80.
Everything is possible.
It's not that easy.
Okay.
If you had a choice, what would you pick?
A family rights lawyer, for sure.
But that's impossible.
I'd have to go back to school,
build a new clientele,
-with my daughter in the middle--
-That's fine. Listen.
You keep your job as a freelancer.
You have time to study.
Since you're gorgeous...
and smart,
it'll be easy finding clients.
Not to mention
I'd find you even more arousing!
Calm down.
You little punk.
MR. ASSHOLE
MISSED CALLS (22)
Nina!
Mom!
My love!
Is it normal that her ex changes plans
every week?
-It's always like that.
-I see.
When do they stop being ecstatic
about their mom?
A year or two, tops.
She should make the best of it.
This means war!
-I'll make you pay!
-No!
No, sorry, I'm sorry!
Help!
Stop!
No, never!
Who is Paul?
He's a friend. He's nice.
He takes care of the sailing club.
You'll meet him tomorrow.
Can I go sailing?
Yes, we'll see.
Enough goofing around.
Go to bed now.
-No!
-Come on!
Not up for discussion.
Come on. Good night!
Good night!
Sweet dreams.
With witches!
Your daughter is so much fun!
She's very attentive. A real sailor.
So cute.
I'd have loved to have
instructors like them
-when I was a kid.
-Oh, yeah?
I prefer having them as a big girl.
You see what he's doing?
That's class right there!
Very sexy!
-I have to talk to him.
-About his bike?
Idiot.
I don't want to use him.
He makes me feel good.
He is sweet, nice.
-Now he's actually saying he loves me.
-Great!
-I have to tell him it won't go further.
-I get it.
You're not being abused, but loved.
Stop it.
No man can make you feel good.
A man?
I see a man on that bike!
He's a kid.
This isn't how I want to rebuild my life.
Age doesn't measure maturity.
Well, it does, a bit.
No. I'm going to talk to him.
-Here, right now?
-It's for the best.
I don't want to hurt him.
-I wanted to talk to you...
-Talk to me, I love that.
What are you doing?
Trying to make you squirt.
What?
Squirting: the most powerful
female ejaculation.
Great.
Come here, I'll show you what I like.
What did you do?
I told you I was coming.
You didn't climax?
I did, that's not the issue.
You didn't pull out.
Pull out?
No. Why?
That's fine, I showed you my HIV test.
Are you not on the pill?
Shit!
Shit, I'm sorry!
Since you were okay with no condom,
I thought you were on the pill.
And you pushed down on my bum.
-Shit, I'm sorry.
-No, it's okay.
It's my fault.
I'll take the morning-after pill.
I mean...
If you get pregnant
and you want to keep it...
-Just know I'll be there for you.
-Yeah, right.
No, I'm serious.
I'd love to have a child with you.
Also from a...
pragmatic perspective,
it's not the worst idea.
Say we're together
for at least five years,
it might be more complicated for you.
You're looking far into the future.
Maybe you're used to guys
who don't want to get invested.
Me... I am ready.
Come on, pass it, man!
Tackle!
Wait.
Goddamn, wait, I'm gonna tackle.
-Stop!
-Opening...
The house is all settled, right?
Or is there more to do?
Can we talk about your Pierrot necklace?
It's a gift from Markus.
No. Stop!
Stop it!
We need to vacuum a little
because the buyers are coming tomorrow.
I'm going shopping. See you later.
Cécile, I'll come with you.
I need to buy a couple of things too.
What a pussy!
-That Markus is very obliging.
-Very.
Okay...
Is that so?
So, you want to play with Paulo?
Where do you prefer to be tickled?
Paul, stop!
I've got those socks too, did you know?
Paul, let's play!
Yes, Dad?
I'm all right, you?
Yeah, awesome.
Fuck!
No, sorry.
Could you front me the money?
I'll pay you back
as soon as I get home.
Thanks, Dad.
Okay.
Tell her I love her
and I'll call her tomorrow.
Ciao!
Did you say hi to your mom for us?
Arriba!
These gym shoes are pretty nice, no?
These gym shoes?
-What's that?
-Well, these.
In the 21st century,
these are called trainers or sneakers.
Or kicks, even.
I have never heard of kicks.
I mean, that's expected.
It must've been weird in your day,
life in black and white, no colors.
What do you think of this monocle?
Yeah, not bad,
but I think these would suit you better.
Beautiful!
Like the woman in The Graduate.
You know that movie?
But it's not from your generation.
So, at my age, I can't be a cinephile?
Is that it?
-It works great with the hat!
-Really?
-It's awesome!
-You look great, darling.
Hello, Markus.
Hi, Marie-Christine.
Great to run into you.
It'll spare me the trip to your house.
I managed to get it back
without him noticing.
I'm speechless.
I'm off. Gege needs me at the bakery.
So, you know!
-Give him a kiss for me.
-I will!
-I'll grab you another one.
-I like this one.
-You won't get away!
-She's hiding!
No!
Sonia, go! Get her!
Go, Nina! You're the best!
It's funny seeing you as a mom.
Is it?
Does it freak you out?
No... What a weird question.
I don't know, just saying.
She likes you, you know.
Where do you live in Paris?
In the 20th.
-I like that area.
-Yeah.
I'm not far, I'm on République.
Alone or with roommates?
No, roommates is not an option.
When does your summer job end here?
End of August.
I really don't want to leave in two days!
You could come over in Paris.
There's room for you.
There's even an office to work in.
And my bed is very comfortable.
Cool, I'll probably drop by.
Want to do something tonight?
I think I'll stay in tonight.
I think I'll stay on my own.
Just wanna chill, you know?
You need to spend time
with your kid, right?
Mom, come play with us!
What do you mean,
"Mom, come play with us"?
Hey, Nina! Come here!
Why don't you call me? Nobody calls me!
Something wrong?
No, I'm fine. I'm a bit nauseous.
Don't do that with me, please.
What's the matter?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm so into that little punk.
You're awake already?
Don't move. You're resting today.
Since we're all done and you're
signing the agreement on Monday,
we decided to have a party.
What?
We're going shopping.
Nina wants to stay and feed the pelican.
-A party? Are you sure?
-Yes! See you later!
Is your DJ friend coming for sure?
Don't worry. He's a stand-up guy.
Paul invited a few people from Drakkar,
-is that okay?
-No problem.
He's calling nonstop
now that I'm not answering.
Who is this? Don't know, don't care.
Sorry, we've just finished!
-Hey!
-Want me to take that?
Good thing she doesn't have a gun,
I'd already be dead.
-Who?
-Who are you talking about?
Fuck, come on.
It sucks that we never had the right
to that kind of bisexuality!
You want me to French you?
-You should go talk to her.
-She's right, man.
Maybe then she'd stop texting me
to ask what you're up to all the time.
No way, I've got other things to do.
Besides, she doesn't need me.
Young girls don't bother him
as much as young guys.
Paul isn't coming?
He's giving
a private jet ski lesson now...
He'll join us later.
Okay.
Should we go?
Put this on the terrace.
In the shade.
Here... This as well.
-Is that all?
-Yes.
Be careful,
Nina's asleep in the living room.
Yeah.
Take this.
Actually, that's quite heavy.
Are you testing my strength
or can you take these off? Thanks.
I don't know how many we'll be
or what they've planned.
Hope it's enough.
We've got time, you know.
You can relax a bit.
Because you're stressed out...
I have a solution.
I'll take you away
and we'll escape on a boat.
Careful, I have my sailing license.
Shut up!
-Stop that, are you crazy?
-Fuck off!
Get down from there!
Go to hell!
This is stupid!
That girl needs help.
-We're not scared of you.
-You think I'm scared?
Idiot! You're gonna clean it up!
Get off the car! You're being ridiculous!
Louise, what is this?
Louise, stop it! This is ridiculous!
Shut up, you fucking old cougar,
or I'll end you!
You think you can just steal my man!
I didn't steal anything.
You're imagining things!
I'm imagining things? Me?
Stop your bullshit!
-What is she doing?
-That's pee.
-Shit!
-My car!
I can't believe she's peeing standing up.
Louise is such a stupid twat.
Why? Like you weren't like that at 20?
Your mother was!
-That's true!
-No!
-Yes!
-I was never like that,
I was really sweet.
-You were a little.
-I wasn't...
What did you say? Do it again!
You never what? Do it again!
Come on.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Go, go, Julien!
Come on!
Cécile is enjoying this party,
-did you see?
-Yes.
I have to admit I'm a little overwhelmed.
-In any case, farewell to Mr. Asshole.
-Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
-What are they playing?
-I don't know. Spin the bottle.
I'm putting Nina to bed.
Time for bed, my love.
-But, Mom... Please.
-Yes. Come on.
Hey.
I'm glad you left your boyfriend.
You okay?
I tried to talk to you every day,
but I couldn't do it.
I did leave Pascal, but...
it's nothing to do with us.
I adore you.
But you know our age difference
is enormous.
Why should we give a damn about that?
For some people, it can work.
I know how I operate
and I won't be able to deal with it.
But that's absurd.
Probably.
But that's who I am!
I'm a complicated person.
No, no pity!
I was making sure Nina was asleep.
-Were you looking for me?
-No, I was...
I was going to the bathroom.
Too many people downstairs.
Are you okay?
You don't seem well.
No, I'm okay.
Okay.
Before we drink far too much...
I wanted to tell you that...
I really appreciated
the moments we had together.
Is this goodbye then?
No! Don't be silly.
That's unique!
I'm not asking for anything.
We can stay in the moment.
You know that's not true.
I don't want to hurt you,
but I can tell you're already sad.
No, I'm not sad.
Listen, I dig you.
I dig you, but...
I don't want it to be more serious.
-Being a couple isn't for me.
-I get it.
You've seen what kind of a guy I am.
And you have your daughter.
Yeah, I do have my daughter.
It's a shame. I had the feeling
that everything was possible.
But clearly I was wrong.
Everything is possible.
But...
I'm too much of a jerk.
And you...
you're the most badass woman
I've ever met.
Can I hold you in my arms?
Don't tell me she's sleeping
with that kid. He could be her son.
You know, a woman's life expectancy
is 12 years longer than a man's.
If they don't want to die alone,
they should all have a guy
12 years younger than them.
Enjoy your evening.
Love!
Hey!
So, what do we say to Mommy?
Julien?
I was looking everywhere for you.
What are you doing here?
Careful!
Julien.
Get down.
You've had way too much to drink.
Leave me alone, I'm looking at the stars.
Yes. We can do that together, down here.
Or else...
I'll climb on the guardrail like you.
It's high!
Everything's moving!
Are you okay?
-Come!
-Are you hurt?
Come, let's sit.
Do you really have fear of heights?
I don't.
Yes!
Come on, Markus!
This is the right time to create
this fucking opening. Move!
Yeah!
Yeah!
You do it!
It's better, right?
It's much better.
Harder!
Why didn't you wait for me
to break the wall? Not cool.
Won't it piss off the buyers?
I'm not sure I'm going to sell anymore.
Yeah!
Thank you.
Which room did you sleep in, Markus?
Isn't that your pelican?
Oh, yeah.
He's beautiful.
Bye, cute pelican!
Yeah, what room did you sleep in, Markus?
Subtitle translation by Claudia Patricia