Lun Wen-Xu lao dian Liu Xian-Kai (1994) - full transcript
Pick pockets...
Robber, stop!
Robbers everywhere!
They rob again!
Please give me two bowls
of bean curd
Thank you
Miss, I haven't met you before
She is my cousin
My brother is sick,
so she comes to help
Look, the girl is so pretty
Are you in love with that girl?
Miss, check please
I am coming
Let me help you
Thank you
Has your cousin been proposed?
You'd better be careful!
But I love to
She is coming
Do you want a check?
How much?
Miss, you have nice skin
One tael please
One tael?
Take it
What do you want?
I want to buy one more
bowl for my mom
Wait a minute
She is still beautiful even she is angry
Watch out, those bastards
are so cheap
I know it
Do you have any container?
No
Do you have any container?
No, we haven't
It doesn't matter,
my home is just nearby
Just pour into my hands
Your hands?
Don't panic,
we are not used to wear anything
Come on...
Do you mean it?
Of course
You said so
Yes, it's safe and clean
Come on
How do you feel?
Miss, please check
how much is needed?
Make it clear
1.8 taels, thank you
Miss, I can't take out my money
Would you give me a hand?
How?
You can just get it
by pulling up my clothe
Take as much as you like,
it doesn't matter
Come on. Take it
How can I get the money
in this way?
No problem
We should pay,
shouldn't we?
Come on, come on
Kidding!
Who dares to offend us?
Forget it, I don't want you to pay,
you leave now
No way
We can't be blamed by others
Come on, take my money
I don't want it,
isn't that alright?
Do you wanna go?
Stop bothering us, take it
Hands off
Miss, how much do
they owe you?
1.8 taels
Beat him
Don't go
No... Help!
Let's go over there
Thank you for helping me
It's a piece of cake,
you are welcome
Excuse me, please give way
Why are there so many
people there?
Mister is over there
Mister, why are you here?
Where have you been?
We have gone to see the
result of the exam
The pretty girls are...
They are nothing to do with you
Well
I think they must be foreigners
Why did you say so?
If not, why are you called
"Nothing to do with you"?
Only the foreigners
have such long name
Go to hell
You scumbag!
How is the result?
Over there
I will show you, come on
Mister
Go!
That Mister is...
He is called Liu Sin Hoi,
is he handsome?
He is cultured and great in Kung-fu
He is rich too
He fits you, doesn't he?
I think you are falling for him
You'd better work now
Liu Sin Hoi, Mister, congratulation...
You are the 1st candidate
Of course,
even the blind can see it
Congratulation
Congratulate me
until I pass the advanced exam
of the capital!
No problem
Kidding?
Who is so nonsense to damage
the government notice?
Kidding!
Who is Lun Man Chui?
Who the hell is he?
There must be some mistake
Mister Liu must be
the number one
Lun Man Chui
Sticky-rice
Coming
Mr Lun
This is our treat
Don't worry, we have enough money
Enjoy your favourite dishes
I haven't had so rich dinner for ages
It will waste more time for
shitting if you eat too much
Mr Lun, I want to question that,
you don't read often,
but why you are always
the number one?
It's simple
Do you have any paper and ink?
Sure
Fresh Abalone?
What does that mean?
I want to eat this,
do you agree?
Waiter
Can you tell us what's
your secret in studying
The secret is
"Work hard"
A good student should not
speak foul language
Sorry, the abalone is sold out
Sorry, I am sorry
How poor!
Who orders such
expensive dishes?
Lun Man Chui and his friends
Those poor students?
They come for celebration!
Mr Lun is the 1st candidate again
Cut half of it and return it
to the kitchen
Why?
They are poor
I am afraid they don't have
enough money to pay for the food
Save half of it, if there is a loss,
I will lose half only
Do you want to be
number one candidate?
Well, I have to ask you
one question
A bride and a bridegroom
spent their first night
The bride dropped
some hair suddenly
Before the hair was dropped,
what kind of noise
would you expect?
"Kau"
"Pu"
"Bang"
Wrong, it's "Pook"!
Isn't it cheap?
Mister, please be merciful
Granny, I am so hungry
Come on, take the sticky-rice
Thank you
Don't mention it
Damn you, you beggar!
You are so dirty!
How dare you steal my food?
Go away
None of my business
You are in my shop
and you broke my stuff
Isn't it my business?
Did I break it?
Pay me money
I don't have money
How about this?
You are beast
Boss, check please
Coming
Well
2.8 taels please
So expensive!
No discount
It's cheap, so cheap
Right, so cheap
Pay now
Are you the one who pays?
I haven't any money
Me too
I haven't any too
Stop messing up, pay it now
Stop acting now
You're all poor actors
Pay now
We are not acting
We have a little bit
internal problem
Let's pay the bill tomorrow,
see you
Shui, call the police
Kidding!
We owe you 2.8 taels only
You know, you'd pay 3 taels
to hire a lawyer
There's no good to you
No way, if you don't pay,
I will call the police
Alright, it's our fault, right?
We should pay for our food
Well
Although I am not willing to do so,
it's worth over 20 taels
Now, I take this as mortgage
I will redeem it tomorrow
Isn't it fair?
Kidding?
How can I know is this true or not?
You can ask some expert
to check it
Don't you think
this is a pawn shop
Well, I think...
You'd better call for police
Let's wait for the police
Alright, up to you
It's better to have some mortgage
Listen
Pay me 5 taels if you
redeem it tomorrow
Pay 10 on the 2nd day,
& I'll possess it if you don't come at all
You are taking my advantage
So you pay me now
OK, OK
But, let's sign an agreement
Make it black and white
Alright
I don't trust you too
It will be very clear then
A bracelet is worth 20 taels,
is pledged to Lu's Restaurant
If Lun doesn't redeem it on time,
the bracelet will go to Lu
Come on, sign it,
make it seriously
Thank you
What are you laughing?
You are fool
It's a fake
I don't believe it
Don't you?
This is easily broken,
don't you trust it?
I won't trust it
Even you don't drop it, it will break
into pieces, don't you believe it?
No. I don't believe it
It's none of my business,
none of my business
This is your shop,
you have the bracelet in your hand
It's broken into two halves
Don't you think we have
to be responsible?
Pay us 30 taels!
Alright, don't see me to the door
I don't want to see you again!
Let's wait and see
Come on, granny, don't cry
Take the money and
eat something
Don't come and
dine in this shop again
Thank you
You'd better thank the boss
Thank you
Lun Man Chui...
Fat Cat is being beaten
Pals, let's...
What?
No, I mean we are rushing
to save Fat Cat's life
Stop
Isn't it enough?
Help...
Fat Cat
Who is beating others?
Why not fight with me?
Beat him is alright,
but you shouldn't kick him
And you use your
number 7 shoes to kick him!
They hit me
Why do they hit you?
They hit me and kick me
Why do they kick you?
They kick and hit me
So, why do you kick him?
What a nuts!
He can't even tell what's happening
Today, we are holding the
birthday party for our Lady
You wrote such things right here,
you mean to offend us
Lady Liu isn't human,
his son is a thief
Yes, it is written by me
So, does he deserve it?
The handwriting is nice!
Are you looking for death?
How dare you write such shit here?
I just passed by
They threw me with the stones,
and blamed me as nuts
I am idiot, but I am not nuts
What's the difference
between idiot and nuts?
No difference, I guess
Thank God you know it
Cut the crap,
report to the police and catch him
Don't mess up
Why don't you be so brave
when you are in a fight?
Fat Cat doesn't mean to offend you
but to greet Lady Liu only
He wants to write a poem
for Lady Liu
But, he was beaten
before he could finish it
So, don't you think
it's fair or not?
It's not fair
You mean this poem
is a greeting to our Lady?
I know you are cultured,
but he didn't finish it at all
Ask him to finish it now
He is hurt,
how can he finish it?
I can make it, I can
Let me help him,
isn't it OK?
We will beat you
if you are lying
Pen
Yes
I am scared
Lady Liu isn't human
She is a fairy
His son is a thief
He steals the Heaven's peach
for her mother's birthday
If it's ungraceful to your mom,
why not blame my mom too?
Good! Good!
You, dogs
You should see how
the wind blows, got it?
Let's go
Lun Man Chui,
you are something!
You are fast and
good at writing poems
I have a good poem in mind
I will read it to you
"Liu's mother is a bad egg"
"Liu's dad fries the egg"
"They are all bad eggs. Damn!"
Isn't it good?
I wanna beat you, bad egg
If you be big mouth again,
I won't save you anymore
Mom...
I bought a duck
to celebrate with you
I guess, she must have
gone for gambling
She hasn't changed
It seems that
I have to eat alone for tonight
Congratulation! You are great
to be the number one candidate
You are flattering me,
I am not that good, but they are poor
Mom, are you happy?
I am happy!
Thank you
You are granted a scholarship
by the Cantonese Association
We wish you to be the number one
candidate in the capital exam
Yeah, this is our wish
Kidding?
I don't think I am good at it
By the way, we are poor
Don't you want me
to walk to the capital?
Money isn't a problem
We will pay for it
That's right
See the money
Just so little
Look at the back
Mom
Mister Lun
We Cantonese are
blamed as barbarians
Not a Cantonese
has been the scholar
You are smart
You should give us glory
Right, don't let us down
I don't want to let you down
but I dislike studying
In fact, I love studying
But my mom is sick
if I leave her
who is going to
take care of my mom?
So, I have to take care
of my mom
My son is so nice to me,
he is filial
Don't push him
Give way please
What are you doing?
I am hanging myself,
so you may study
without any worries
Mom, come down
Don't push me
I don't want to study
I prefer learning Kung-fu
in Shaolin Temple
OK, do you want to be a monk?
If you win the games,
I will let you do whatever you like
Really?
Please give way
Make it five, tri-stars,
four-season, make it six...
Thank you
I fail, you are really great
The 2nd game, come on
You first
You first
A cross
The character "Tai"
The character "Sky"
Dragon, it must be Dragon
You are smart
It's too simple, it's crane
Stop, it must be "Bill"
No
I have written a wrong character
Really? Damn it!
The last game
Clean your nose
You too
Come on
Chicken
Pork
Great
You are really smart
Orange
Garlic
New-year cake
Red-bean cake
Cabbage
Incense
Nothing
Great, you can smell nothing
Pot
Salty fish
Wrong
Bad-smell bean cube
Wrong again
A dead rat
Wrong
Hint please
I will let you taste it
Son, you lost
You should study hard
Your mom has 4 brothers
Why do you choose me instead?
One uncle is operating a casino
One uncle is operating a brothel
One uncle is selling bean cube
Mom said, I have no choice
Why not?
Watch out!
It's from Han Dynasty
As a Chinese old saying,
a woman should know nothing
Most of the scholars
are wolves,
if anything happens to you,
how can I face your mom?
But you said
your students are so nice
They are disciplined
and cultured too
Right
I should always praise my students,
but the truth is...
Dad, you are cheating us
Shut up
I don't care, I have to study
I may pay my own school fee
It's not a problem of money
I have the duty to take care of you
But
I don't want to break the rules
of my school
I have never accepted girls
to be my students for 20 years
It's not you who breaks
the law, it's me
No way. I say no
May I give you one year's
school fee first?
It's not a problem of school fee
I don't work for the school fee
Since you are so aggressive in studying,
I will break my rule for once
You are the first girl student
in my school,
but I insist one thing
No problem,
I will promise any conditions
Don't touch my antiques anymore
Thank you
Dad, I want to study too
That's girls!
OK, up to you!
Thank you
Don't come in. Go out...
I've forgot the luggage, uncle
That's the most expensive one
I am going to school
I have got it,
don't bother my sleep
I have to go to school
early in the morning!
What a pity!
Why does her foot
smell so badly!
I am going to school now, Gnome
Help!
Uncle, what's the matter?
Are you robbed by the thieves?
Someone is going to kill me
Let's hide up
Shut up
If you are wise,
hand us Prince Eight
Maybe, I will ask
His Excellency
to let you go
You bastards!
Unless you kill me,
or I won't hand you His Highness
Sir, he has partner
Kill him too
I am just passing by
Go now
Beat...
Watch my "Turtle Stance"!
Where is the man?
Hey, my friend
I just want to ask...
Cut the crap,
leave here right now
Just forget everything
No, I just want to ask you
how to turn 360? C
So impolite!
You have dropped something
It's going to be bright
Damn it, I am late
No spitting, no fighting,
no shouting,
no courting girls
So many school regulations!
Here are the basic laws only
They are many
ordinances and rules
You will learn it later
Shit, how about
if we commit crimes?
Nothing, just pay money,
that's OK
No big deal!
Your father is rich,
it doesn't matter
Of course
Mister, take this car
for registration
Go now
Mom
Tang Lin Yu
Don't panic, hey,
who are you?
They are the students of Oriental College,
they are bad
Pal, you look smart
Why not study in
our Oriental College?
This school is no good
About arts subjects,
the tutor of His Majesty
is our school director
About sports,
the Martial Arts Scholar
Wong Fei-hong
is our coach!
About negotiation,
we have many friends
in court and in triads
How is it?
Come and join me
I won't
What?
Because my dad is the
school director of this school,
give me back
Give it to me
Come on
Disgusting!
Give the card to me
Hold it
Hold it
Son, stop fighting with them
Our school is the best,
you are so stupid of not joining us
Watch out
Wonderful?
Watch out!
Are you OK? Are you hurt?
Who didn't eat the skin but
throw it on the ground? Let's go
No one eats the skin
of the water melon!
Boss
Lun Man Chui, it's you?
Are you going to school now?
Take a rest first
You are so lucky to study!
It's poor to work here
But it's poor for me
to go to school
What's the matter?
Your bean milk is too hot
I am sorry
Change one for me right now
Sorry, I am sorry
Let me do it
Master Seven, I am sorry
Damn it, I wanna punish you
I didn't beat you,
why did you shout?
Who is that guy?
He is Copper Head,
Master Seven
He is a villain
Change one for me, go!
OK, I will avenge you
No, or you will be in deep shit
I am alright,
I will punish him by my own way
So that, he won't say a word
but still laugh
Really?
If yes, it's my treat
How do you like
to punish him?
To curse him death
Well
Add 2 chicks,
so I will curse his mom too
That's perfect
What are you doing?
This is my bird
This bird is bought by
my master by 30 taels
impossible, I can prove it
How?
It will copy what I said
If you can let it
copy your word,
I will send it to you, say it
Bastard
Once more!
You go to hell
Your family go to hell!
Go on
Your mom go to hell too
You idiot
Idiot. Idiot
Wonderful!
You are really wise
A wise guy
Stop flattering me,
you owe me 2 chicks
No problem, it's my treat
How ignorant!
It's too stupid trick
You seem to be something
Don't be big mouth
Yeah
Don't you believe?
I will hit his head with sugar cane
He won't be angry but
will beg me to beat again & again
Sure, unless he is your woman
Right
Right
Well, pay attention now
Sit over there
What are you doing?
I wanna beat you
You wanna beat me?
Sorry, I have mistaken you
I think you are the famous
Copper Head
You are right,
he is Copper Head
Stop fooling me
His head is described
to be as strong as steel
His head can break everything
But yours can't even
break a sugar cane
How can you be
the famous Copper Head?
Are there any such story
about Copper Head?
Sure, there is a song too
How?
Copper Head...
Copper Head can break any wall,
1234567!
What's the matter?
I am singing after you
I tell you,
I have searched for him for ages
I just want to see my idol
You are cheating me,
you are not Copper Head
He won't be that poor
Kid, I am the famous
Copper Head
Kidding!
Don't you believe,
come on, hit me
I stand right here,
hit me, until you believe me
No, I am afraid
I would kill you
Don't panic,
I am the Copper Head
Listened?
He asked me to beat him. OK
Boss, he is beating him
I wonder! Your head can't
even break the sugar cane!
Don't go, you should
hit me strongly
Otherwise, the sugar cane
won't break. Come on
Master, your head is bleeding
A mosquito is beaten
to death, it's OK
Kid, use more force
It's you who asked me
to hit stronger
Right
Swaying Rod! Come on
Master Seven...
Bravo! Bravo!
You are really Copper Head
I will tell my family
and my friends that
I have met you,
thank you
Welcome
Master Seven,
are you okay?
I can't imagine that
I am that famous
So many people come to me
Bravo!
Wonderful!
You are really good at tricking
Master Seven
Look at them
I can't believe you
fooled Copper Head
Bastards, how dare you fool me?
Stop
Run for our lives!
Headmaster
Dear classmates,
first of all
I have to congratulate you
for joining our family
You know,
to be the student of Ming's College
is a symbol of status
I believe you all know very well
about our school regulations
If anyone goes against
the school regulations,
you will be fined
More serious the regulation is,
more should be fined
Money works?
Wrong, much money works
Sit down
OK, here comes the roll call
Lam Kau
Yes
Lui Kay
Yes
Mo Yan Sing
Yes
Tang Lin Yu
Yes
Lun Man Chui...
Liu Sin Hoi
Yes
Liu Sin Hoi, why are you late
on the first school day?
I am not Liu Sin Hoi,
I am Lun Man Chui
I don't care
The late comer should be fined
Stand aside
Liu Sin Hoi
Lo David
Yes
Yes
Who is Lo David?
He is, I am not
Who are you then?
Liu Sin Hoi
Stand aside
Why?
Because you are late
Headmaster, my dad
asked me to greet you
Who is your dad?
Liu Kung-kuen
Oh, you are the son
of Mr Liu
Nice to meet you,
please be seated
My dad wants me
to greet you too
Who is your dad?
Lun Lo Kuen
Who is he?
Who is Liu Kung-kuen then?
Who is Liu Kung-kuen?
My dad His dad
Liu's son needn't be punished
Lun's son is going to be punished
You have prejudice against me
Right, you are not fair
Stop quarrelling,
you want it fair?
OK, I will give you a quiz
Who can answer the quiz,
sit down,
if not, stand
OK
Now, listen. The following words
are all related to metal
"Steel, iron, copper & brass"
Who first?
Master, you used metal
I prefer fruits
Great
Master
"Apple, orange,
lemon & pear"
Great
Your turn now
Wonderful
Master, he used fruit,
then I prefer using animals
"Zibet, panda, lion & bat"
Master
Wonderful
It's really matched
But it doesn't make sense
You have to be punished too
What?
Don't you agree?
No
OK, you may go home now
Alright, I quit
Goodbye
Cousin, hurry up
What touched me
I can't stand it
Virgin
Brother Lun
Brother Lun
I am here, Virgin
Golden Boy
Virgin
Golden Boy
Virgin
Golden Boy
Virgin
Golden Boy and Virgin...
Isn't it enough?
Can't you change something else?
Virgin
Love is like a dream
I'm happy to see you
Water can be chicken soup
The dream is fantastic
I cry because I love you
Ximengding McDonald
Love is like a dream
The dream is fantastic
I cry because I love you
Love is like a dream
I'm happy to see you
Water can be chicken soup
Love is fantastic
I cry because I love you
Ximengding McDonald
I cry because I love you
I cry because I love you
What are you doing?
Dance! No...
What are you doing?
It's school time, forget about him,
he is nuts
Let's go to school
Dad
Uncle
Stop calling me dad and uncle
Call me Headmaster
Headmaster
Dear classmates,
we have been a boy school,
now we accept girls,
because we want
no sexual discrimination,
we let girls to study too
But I have to warn you,
don't do it intentionally,
or carelessly,
or anything to court the girls
Otherwise, you will commit
serious school regulations
You will be fined, the penalty
is $100,000 taels. Got me?
What? $100,000 taels?
Go back to your seat
The first lesson of today...
Why are you back?
Didn't you quit?
We can't stop studying...
and courting...
What did you say?
I mean, it's very important
for a man to study
I am wrong, I accept penalty
I would like to stand aside
You are good boy
From now on, don't be late
It will make us feel shame, right?
Look at Lun Man Chui,
he is like a wood
Baby you are lovely
You have wonderful figure
I want to be your lover...
You are writing love letter
Return it to me
Wait, don't panic
Return it to me
He is writing love letter,
come and have a look
Stop running
Return it to me
Come and look,
he is writing love letter
Look, a Romeo
from your school
Come and have a look
Return the letter to me
He ruined the name
Give it back to me
He ate the name
Shit!
Well, I am going to read
the letter to you
Baby you look great,
you have good figure...
I want to be your lover,
you made me lose my sleep
Who is he going to write?
I don't know
I want to marry with you,
honey
What a horrible letter,
who is he writing to?
Post it to the board,
to show the public
Wait
What's the matter?
You are going too far
We are not
We want to show the public
something interesting
Let's go, forget about him
See you
OK
He is punched out!
Did you give him a punch?
What do you think?
Bleeding nose...
I am fainting,
come and help me
I will let you go now,
or you would be dead meat
Sorry, please give way
Whose letter is it?
You can't take a look
What is he doing?
Send the letter
Isn't a letter for me?
Sit back...
Dear classmates,
since the students come
from every classes,
we have handsome ones, we have ugly ones,
we have smart ones,
we have stupid ones too
So I am now going to
give you a test
To test whether
you are genius or fool
You two, just sit down,
I won't quiz you
Every students should
answer a question
The one who answers correctly
will be the A grade student
You first
A man ate 10 sticks a day, why?
Because he is hungry. No...
Because he hates it
Wrong
He ate steak!
Poor student
Headmaster
Tang Lin Yu,
here is your question
If you owe me one tael,
now I pay you 10 taels
How much are you
going to return?
Think carefully
9 taels, right?
Good, you are really smart!
A grade student, sit down
Cheung Woo Yau
What thing if it is given then
you may never get it back?
The money given to dad
Wrong
It's "Give way"
Liu, you have a cup
of tea on the desk
Drink it
Without using your hand,
show me
Isn't it correct
Really smart, sit down
It's your turn. If the king dies,
what will his son become?
The king
Go to hell
He will become an orphan
There is a part of the body,
sometimes strong,
& sometimes soft
The adult will have a longer one,
and the child has shorter one
Foreigners' are hairy
What is it?
It's so embarrassing!
What?
Dicky!
Damn you!
You have dirty mind
It's hand!
How can you give
such dirty answer
What kind of hat
is not for wearing?
Green hat Wrong
Tall hat Wrong
Round hat Wrong
Sharp hat Wrong
Square hat Wrong
Fat-head
Wrong
I am fat-headed!
Right, you are correct
Thank you
Now, we are going to choose
a monitor for your class
Each of you can vote once
Headmaster
You first
I nominate Liu Sin Hoi
Headmaster,
I nominate Liu Sin Hoi
Headmaster,
I nominate Lun Man Chui
I nominate Liu Sin Hoi
I nominate Lun Man Chui
Me too
I nominate Lun Man Chui too
I nominate Ching Ching
Me too
Kidding, how can you
choose a monitress?
She can do nothing
You can't say so
Is woman useless?
How about your mom?
There is nothing to do
with my mom,
you are nonsense
Shut up
To make it fair,
traditional practice
I raise a question,
who gives the best answer,
who'll be the monitor
Agree
Lun Man Chui, Liu Sin Hoi,
Ching Ching, come out
Go, don't panic
Listen, each of you
write a poem
The poem should include
the words "Round" and "Sharp"
Lun, you first
The ink stone is round,
the pen is sharp
I write 3 poems and gain
the scholarship of literature
Good
Your turn now
The bow is round,
the arrow is sharp
I shoot 3 times, and gain the
scholarship of martial arts
Good, perfect!
Cousin, go now
Ching Ching
What else do you want?
It's your turn, go now
The belly is round,
the fingers are sharp
I have two sons,
they are both scholars
Wonderful!
Choose her
Great!
Now, the scholars
become your sons
Congratulation, congratulation
Since Prince Eight and
Lee Man Lung escaped,
the court is furious
We are asked to catch them
within one month
Or, we will be killed
Your Excellency, we...
Cut the crap, this is an order
Yes
Tell me, where is Lee Man Lung?
I don't know
How dare you lie to me,
someone saw him appear nearby
No, I don't know
Aren't you telling me?
I'll look for myself
How bad are you
Too cruel
Why it's me again?
I have a good news
to tell you
In order to raise the standard
of our school,
I've employed
a good teacher for you
He is handsome and cultured
He is good at martial arts too
If you want to trick him,
you will have shit at last,
got me?
I haven't tried that
for a long time
I do want to know him
Just go ahead if you dare,
he will be right here,
wish you good luck
So great?
How can you trust my dad?
Do you have his heritage?
Of course not
Stop quarrelling
Why not trick him?
How?
Rat
Throw the rat
to him
He must be scared
It's peanut!
What?
Plus a worm
It's not great enough
Plus a reptile
It's not enough
Why not a poisonous spider?
That's better
You are going too far,
how can you trick him
with such things?
Stop, or we will
trick you too
How dare you trick
the teacher in this way?
You are not human
You should be blamed
I just say these to test you
You are too bad!
Kidding, Ching Ching,
you are civilized
We should learn from you
My cousin
means,
it's not funny enough
Not funny enough
No, I don't mean it
I mean it's not enough
to fool him in your way
You can do it more seriously!
Don't be afraid
You said you are smart
in fooling other
But you are not creative
This is called
"Chick's powder"
It's made by one hundred
chicks' heads, asses, and hearts
It's dried and made into powder
Then, some drugs are added,
if someone has taken it...
How is it?
I am sorry,
lend me your soup
Take it
Mr Lun
You are the smartest
classmate of this class
Kidding
Yes. Yes
So, I'll leave this job to you
Fine
Thank you
Thank you
Stop pretending
Stand up
Dear class, please be seated
You can call me Mr Lee
My name is Lee Tai Chun
From now on,
I am your teacher
Stop running, stop
They are alike
OK, let's start the class
The gentleman is...
I mean Siu Lee...
You should call me Mr Lee
Mr Lee
What question do you have?
Nothing, I think,
since you are new
We have to give you
something for appreciation
This soup...
is made by Liu Sin Hoi,
it's specially for you
It's too kind of you
It's our job
Thank you
Don't mention it,
it's suggested by Lun Man Chui
Thank you
Don't mention it, the material is
bought by Tan Lin Yu
Thank you
You are shaking, why?
Nothing, I didn't
You are weak,
why don't you take it
No, thanks
No way, master
He is too weak to drink
such nutritious soup
Don't worry, drink it
I can't drink it
No one can drink it
You beast
You didn't treat me anything
Mr Lee, according to
our regulations,
you can't drink right here
I will dispose of it
Headmaster
Cut the crap, go on studying
Well, sit down
You beast
I guess they have no guts
to fool Mr Lee
I must be over worrying
It smells good
It's chicken
Confucius said, "When you hear
the laws in the morning..."
Are there any chicken
raised in this school?
Shit
What are you looking?
What is he doing?
He is copying from
the chicken
I am not asking you
He is crazy
Crazy?
What'll we do, Mr Lee?
I don't know,
just forget about him
What?
I will kill the one
who tricked me
20 years ago,
we was the champion of the
joint school competition,
since then, we've been failed
So, I want Mr Lee
to train you
I hope you would win this contest
and to get fame for our school
Stop laughing,
one more regulation will be added
No laughing
And no chicken should be eaten
One two, one two, hurry up...
Hurry up...
Quickly, higher
Ching Ching, study hard
This way please
Marvellous
Listen
Mr Chin always donates
money to build school
You should have honey lips
when you see him,
don't lose my face
I will greet him
on behalf of you
Mind your tongue
This is expensive
It is a gift to Mr Chin
Stop throwing it
Be careful
Hey, they have a bigger one
Let's go
Headmaster...
How are you?
Would you please
give my son a name?
How do you know I am cultured?
I am expert in naming others
I would like to
give him a name...
Headmaster,
how about Stallone?
He is strong!
Why not Harrison Ford?
He is famous
Damn you
I would like to name him...
"Nan Yung"
"Nan Yung"?
Why?
Why this name?
It means open-minded
So great!
Not bad
Good name,
thank you headmaster
See you, Nan Yung
Honey, you are here
Honey, Headmaster has given
a great name for our son
What is it?
Nan Yung
Good name, isn't it?
Good name
Damn you
Master, are you alright?
Kidding?
My surname is Ng,
you name my son Nan Yung
That means "Useless"
in Chinese
But you should not beat me
I can name it again
Call him Mo Mo
Here comes Mister Chin
Congratulation Mr Chin
Thank you, please be seated
Mr Chin, what a great day
Please sit
Mr Chin, please sit
Mr Chin, happy birthday
Headmaster, I have heard that you have
recruited a smart student
You are flattering me,
he is quite smart
He is called Lun Man Chui,
where is he?
Headmaster, where is he?
Well, "It's hot, and the water
is cool, long hair"...
it represents strong desire for sex
Let me check...
Lun Man Chui, come here
Come on, I will have you
bone-touch later, see you
When will we have fun?
What did you say?
I mean playing cards!
I think he is good at courting girls
What do you mean?
Nothing
You are ruining the
reputation of my school
So what? I love it
What's the matter,
Headmaster?
Can't you see it yourself?
Please be seated
We are cultured,
let's have a civilized competition
Each school sends 2 representatives
for the competition
The winner will be rewarded
one thousand taels
The loser should
drink all the wine
What do you think?
OK, go ahead
OK, I will send Nan Man and Nan Mu
to join the competition
I am great in matching sentences
Me too
I send Lun Man Chiu and...
One Lun Man Chiu is enough
I am great in making match too
What?
Damn you
You...
Alright, shut up
Now, let's start
Heaven is the first of the
Eight Diagrams
Your turn
And gold is the first of the
Five Elements
Filial piety is the first
of the Hundred Virtues
Bravo, it's my turn now
South Tong Chou, North Tong Chou,
North meets South
East Pawn shop, West pawn shop,
full of cops
Big casino, small casino,
and we play UNO
Great...
OK, once again
Moon shining through window,
and everyone is widow
Come on, come on
Long life like South Mountain,
and great like Britain
Congratulation...
Listen
Years go like water,
a boy becomes a father
What a wonderful mind!
Lun Man Chui, you are great
Spring is everywhere
Money is kept well here
People of waterloo live on water
How is it?
Guests from Oxford are like Ox
What did you say?
I mean, isn't the answer alright?
Weather in May is wet and hot
Brandy in 3 stars
smells good and sweet
Damn you
It's my turn...
Fart for your Headmaster
It's none of my business
Headmaster...
We will defeat you
in the school competition
Just wait and see
Mr Heung,
you have a good student!
You are flattering me,
how about the money?
One thousand taels
I don't know you,
where are you taking me to?
I don't want to gamble
Go in. Go
I have quitted, stop it
We are all civilized,
be a little bit gentle, OK?
Where are you studying?
Bastard, if you don't pay
the debt for your mom,
you can never dream
of studying
Brother Ho,
I have brought his son here
Where is my mom?
Son
What's that?
I am your mom
Are you...
Can't you recognise me now?
Mom?
Have you brought me the money?
How much do you owe them?
20 taels
I told you to quit
Why don't you listen to me?
I just do it for you
I hope you to have
a better living
So, I just tried my luck
in gambling
Mom, you are really great
Have you ever seen
such great mother?
Here, I want to make use
of this chance
to sing a song for my mother
In this world,
mom is so nice to me
Let's sing together
The baby is so lucky
to be taken care by his mom
Stop singing!
So touching
OK, tomorrow is
the Mother's Day
Go with your mom
for a rich breakfast
Let's go, I will take you
to eat barbecue pork buns
Don't go, it's a simple matter
Pay, or be hooker
I won't be hooker
Good, it's good to be hooker
You have bright future,
good salary
Most important of all,
you should gain more customers
Don't worry,
I will visit you if I have time
Go to hell,
how dare you fool me?
But, let's put it that way
Will you want
such an old hooker?
That's right, so don't
bother them, let's go
No. Stop right here,
take her to the brothel now
Stop, she owes you
money only
So, pay me
Money
20 taels
I will win 3 times,
and gain 24 taels
I'll gain 4 taels as interest too
Come on
Bet
Big
Bet small, I lost because
I betted on big
No, I want big
Don't you want me
to be hooker?
I said big
Small
Ready?
OK, small
Open. It's small
Kid, you are lucky
Mom, you are great
Good boy, listen to me,
make it small
Not a coincidence, make it big
Small Big
Small Big
I said small
Alright
Just one man
should make the decision
Big Small
Forget it, small, up to you
Well, I don't want to push you,
make it big
No
I don't want you to blame me
if you are going to be hooker
Big
Big or small?
Big
It's big
How many times
have we won?
Two
So, what's next?
Let's win again,
then we'll be free
How much should we bet?
What do you think?
I have no idea
It's so important,
it's the last game
I say... Big
OK, small
It's about your future,
you'd think carefully
Change it to big
Come on
Wait
Wait a minute
Since you don't
have any intuition
Let's bet on big
and small together
Are you ready?
Open it
Open. Bingo, pair royal!
You have to be hooker now
What'll we do?
I can't help you,
you'd better be chick
Take her to the brothel
Yes
No way...
Don't move!
Look carefully!
Brother Ho, it's the plate
from the East Chamber
I tell you
I have many friends in
the East Chamber
Who is going to offend me,
that's an offence to the East Chamber
Bull shit
How do I know
it's real or not?
I can say this brick is the
sign of the emperor
Let me teach you
The real plate can light up
the room in darkness
How?
So many lights,
that's why you can't see it
Turn the light off
OK, I have to check it's true or not
Turn the light off
Yes
It says it lights up in dark.
But I can't see anything
You are chatted
You are wise, otherwise,
you will have many dads
I will make you
some midnight snack
Stop
I won't have appetite
by looking at you
You may remove
the cosmetic now
But I am afraid you will throw up
when you see my real face too
Good night
Where are you going?
To hell
Come on, eat!
Lun Man Chun,
you are not allowed to eat
Yeah, I am punished to
eat without paying
Bullshit
What? You sell bullshit?
May I sit down?
Why do you want my seat?
Do you want to court me?
Pal, may I ask you
one question?
No
Just tell me who
gave you this plate?
So, you may get
whatever you want
My girlfriend gave me this
You should see how the wind blows
This will benefit you
Otherwise...
Pal, check please
Don't you know you are in danger now?
So, I have to pay it myself
Alright, I will give you the plate
I don't need your plate
I just want to know
who gave you this?
OK, I will tell you,
but promise me
Do harm him
Damn you
Do you want to trick me?
Not that easy
You are shameless,
how dare you attack my ass?
Help...
It's you who pushed me
to attack
Where is Prince Eight
and Lee Man Lung?
Did they give you this plate?
If you don't tell me,
I will send you to hell
Thank you for saving me
It is a dangerous world. Something...
you don't know is better than you know
Don't tell anyone
about the things happened
Otherwise you will be in danger
Mr Hero, you look familiar,
where have I seen you?
Are we...
Cut the crap,
we don't know each other
Take care
Hero...
We don't know each other?
We come to study,
we are not labour
Why are you still sitting here?
Why don't you go to precise?
Protest against
devil's training
Protest against
devil's training
We protest against
devil's training
We want democracy
& freedom
We want democracy
& freedom
OK, you don't want to practise,
let's take a day off
I think all the students are
aggressive and obedient
But I can't imagine,
you are all useless
If you want to lose again
and to be teased,
just take rest,
to fight for your
democracy again
OK, we are free now
Teacher
What's the matter?
Since you have just been
so angry
I don't want to bother you
Isn't it yours?
If yes, please keep it
What's this?
I have never seen it
A good student
should not be greedy
I am going to send it
to the court
Isn't it yours? No?
So, return it to me
Don't play with such thing,
it's illegal
What are you thinking?
Long hair represents
strong desire for sex
Thick tongue, bad breath...
What did you say?
No
I mean, from the appearance,
can you tell a man
who knows martial arts or not?
I can tell from
Jet Li's appearance
How about Mr Lee?
Teacher, Liu Sin Hoi
and Lun Man Chui is fighting
Stop fighting
Why do you fight?
He said I have had bad breath
He said my nose stank
They want to test me
How dare you beat the teacher?
I wanna beat you...
Kidding?
How dare you!
Look, you hurt him like this
That's your fault
You are in deep shit
What?
You told me to beat him
But I didn't ask you
to beat so heavily!
It's you who make the idea
You love fighting
You were really
enjoying fighting
Your eyeballs are almost out
I told you not to beat his head
I told you not to kick him
So, have you beaten his head?
Have you kicked him?
Yes
So, fix him
None of my business
None of my business too
None of my business
Whom have I offended?
Get lost, haven't you
had enough?
Tell me
You always said
you are the greatest
Now, you fight against each other
before the competition
Mr Lee is supposed
to train you, now
He is in deep shit
He fainted!
You always claim
you will win
Now, you just defeated
your teacher
If you lose in the competition again,
you will be punished
Headmaster, we have much time
to prepare for the competition
We may not lose
Good, if they cooperate
with each other,
they will win
Nosy, you'd better shut up
You are not a boy
Something is missing
in your body
Otherwise, you can go
for the competition
Sit down
I don't want to
take care of you
It doesn't hurt
Are you happy?
They should be blamed
Disgusting
Headmaster
Such bastards
Stop!
We are going to set off,
why not change your clothes?
Are you scared
about the competition?
Sure
Go to hell
Good morning Good morning
It's late!
Why not dress up
for the competition?
Wait, ask the bastards
to come out too
Let's go
Who is the Headmaster here?
What's the matter?
I am the Headmaster
Ask Lee Man Lung to see me
Who is he?
I know he is here,
ask him to come out
Behave yourself,
or, I would beat you
Dad
Headmaster, what's happened?
The mad dog!
He is messing up here
Stand aside
Give way
Ask Lee Man Lung to see me,
otherwise,
you will be in deep shit
I don't care who you are
Just leave the girls away
How dare you!
Are you alright?
Are you alright?
Try once
Let me massage you
Damn you
Good
Don't be proud
Bravo...
Get lost
Let me help you
Ask Mr Lee to leave
Your Excellency
Don't treat them
in such rude way
Long time no see
I know you are great,
you are pretending
I am ordered,
to invite you to Man Lee Heung's
Restaurant for a meeting
Since you come by order,
I should go
Teacher, you...
Don't worry, I am fine
You should try your best
to win the competition
I will celebrate with you
when I'm back
Sorry, Headmaster
Don't you think it's enough?
Hey, get changed,
quickly, we are leaving
Where are you going?
You know that
We have a deal,
we will co-operate, right?
Mr Lee, this way please
Your Excellency,
here comes Mr Lee
Long time no see,
how are you?
You don't just want to know
such thing, do you?
You are so straight forward,
I appreciate it
Eunuch Ngai, you know him very well,
don't you?
Why do you go against him
for that dog?
Since we are good friends,
just hand him to me,
I can forgive you
We are working for different masters,
anyway, thank you
If you want me
to hand you Prince Eight,
that's impossible
Well, do you want
to go against me?
No other choice
So, I am pleased to
have fun with you
How dare you
Headmaster
We can't get Lun and Liu
If we win again,
we will have 20 flags
Headmaster,
we can't find them
Where the hell
have they gone?
Headmaster, we meet again
I have heard that your students
are well trained,
so as to defeat us
Sure...
Yeah, we are always the winner,
it's meaningless
We don't even
have a competitor
Did you eat shit?
Your mouth stinks
Where have they gone?
Headmaster
We are going to start,
what'll we do?
Just ask someone
to join the competition
Ching Ching
Look, they have
brought the maid
How poor are their students!
The first race is quiz
Who answers correctly,
who can gain one mark
Who answers wrongly,
who will have one mark deducted
Understand
Ready
Ready
Please tell 2 idioms
started by "To"
Ming College
"To call a spade a spade",
"To cross the Rubicon"
Right, one mark
What man
was Confucius...
Ming
He was a famous teacher
Wrong, Oriental College please
He was an old man
Right
Kidding
I am an old man,
but I am not Confucius,
isn't it alright?
Don't you disagree
with the answer?
It's quiz again
2 cockroaches were on the wall,
they were couples,
one was dropped
The male wasn't beaten,
but he fell on the ground later
Why?
Ming College
Because they loved each other,
the male wanted to
save the female
Wrong
Earthquake
Wrong
Oriental
Because the male clapped his hand
after seeing the fall of the female
So he lost his balance, & fell
Right, one mark
Kidding
It's too ridiculous
History test
Kublai Khan led 100,000 soldiers
to attack
He shouted,
"Rush, attack, go"
But no one responded
to his order
Why? Oriental
Because the soldiers were scared
Wrong, Ming College
Can you make it?
Who knows what he is talking
Right
Because he spoke in English
The Mongolian soldiers
can't understand his words
Maths quiz. Now,
the result is nine to nine
Who answers correctly,
who will be the winner
of this section
Tell me the result of 1 plus 1
It won't be that easy
Be careful
Ming College
Can you make it?
That's two
Not that easy
One mark will be deducted
What'll we do?
Let's see how they answer
Headmaster, isn't it 2?
You idiot
It won't be that simple
Ming College, answer now
I will count to three, if you can't
answer, I'll deduct your marks
Hurry up
Two
One plus one equals to...
Two
Right
That's so simple
Now, Ming College
wins this section
The world changed
Why can't you answer
this simple question?
I said two, two!
How dare you
trick me?
Mister, please accept my present
Look, the banana is pretty
Why don't you do
this earlier?
Thank you
Watch mine
Now, here comes
the tug of war
Get ready
1, 2, 3, start!
Hurry up...
This section is won by
the Oriental College
Shit
Why did you beat me?
That's none of my business
I don't know
We are on the same side
Watch out
If you are wise,
hand me Prince Eight
I will let you go then
He is ugly
His mouth stinks
His eyes are pretty
I swear
If you can leave here alive
I will leave into seclusion
Teacher
Go to hell
So hard
Baldy, come on
It's too hard
Asshole
Go to hell, go to hell
See which is harder,
your head or my rod?
Hold it
Are you alright?
Fine
Thank you for saving me
We should come
and help you
By the way,
you can't defeat him
"Dragon's Palms"
"Tiger and Crane Stance"
"Swaying Rod"
"Pointed Stance"
"Buddha's Palm"
"Holy Buddha's Stance"
"Flying Angel"
Don't go
Why?
Let him go
Why?
He is beaten to be idiot
How do you know he is real or not?
Anyway,
he was defeated by you
he has no face to show up
in the world of martial arts too
You are right
Here you are,
how about the competition?
Competition?
How about you?
What'll we do?
Forget about me,
go and join the competition
Alright
The last race is a relay
Now, the result is nine to nine
Who wins this relay,
who will be the winner
of this competition
It's no big deal
The instrument used in this relay
is not this simple one
But two
Kidding?
So big is it!
Protest
Invalid, let's start the race
Hurry up...
We can't make it
Hurry up then
Hold it
This is the last one,
win the race, come on
Go
Big one, hurry up
It's lucky of not being
pressed to death
Hurry up
They are back
Hurry up
Hold it, you are late
You can't catch up with me
See you
Big head, are you dancing?
Let's dance together
See you
Hey, hurry up
You've almost made it
Hurry up
Rush! Hurry up
Hurry up
Can you make it?
Why is it so noisy?
Watch it
Wait a minute
Rush
Cheer up
Move
I am coming
Hurry
We have made it
Bingo
We won, I won it
I won it again
I won it
You...
This is the starting point
Great
You made me mad!
The 21st Joint School Competition,
Ming's College is the champion
Uncle, we won
I know it
Bravo!
You bastard, you lose my face
How can I face others?
You drove me mad
Bravo
Ching Ching, asked the kid
to bring me the flag
Mom, I haven't got the
championship for 20 years
Now, I get the flag again,
I have to thank God
Stop playing, stop playing
Stop messing up
Headmaster asked you
to take the flag here
OK
Here comes the Scholar...
3 years later, Lun Man Chui
became the first
Scholar from Canton
Robber, stop!
Robbers everywhere!
They rob again!
Please give me two bowls
of bean curd
Thank you
Miss, I haven't met you before
She is my cousin
My brother is sick,
so she comes to help
Look, the girl is so pretty
Are you in love with that girl?
Miss, check please
I am coming
Let me help you
Thank you
Has your cousin been proposed?
You'd better be careful!
But I love to
She is coming
Do you want a check?
How much?
Miss, you have nice skin
One tael please
One tael?
Take it
What do you want?
I want to buy one more
bowl for my mom
Wait a minute
She is still beautiful even she is angry
Watch out, those bastards
are so cheap
I know it
Do you have any container?
No
Do you have any container?
No, we haven't
It doesn't matter,
my home is just nearby
Just pour into my hands
Your hands?
Don't panic,
we are not used to wear anything
Come on...
Do you mean it?
Of course
You said so
Yes, it's safe and clean
Come on
How do you feel?
Miss, please check
how much is needed?
Make it clear
1.8 taels, thank you
Miss, I can't take out my money
Would you give me a hand?
How?
You can just get it
by pulling up my clothe
Take as much as you like,
it doesn't matter
Come on. Take it
How can I get the money
in this way?
No problem
We should pay,
shouldn't we?
Come on, come on
Kidding!
Who dares to offend us?
Forget it, I don't want you to pay,
you leave now
No way
We can't be blamed by others
Come on, take my money
I don't want it,
isn't that alright?
Do you wanna go?
Stop bothering us, take it
Hands off
Miss, how much do
they owe you?
1.8 taels
Beat him
Don't go
No... Help!
Let's go over there
Thank you for helping me
It's a piece of cake,
you are welcome
Excuse me, please give way
Why are there so many
people there?
Mister is over there
Mister, why are you here?
Where have you been?
We have gone to see the
result of the exam
The pretty girls are...
They are nothing to do with you
Well
I think they must be foreigners
Why did you say so?
If not, why are you called
"Nothing to do with you"?
Only the foreigners
have such long name
Go to hell
You scumbag!
How is the result?
Over there
I will show you, come on
Mister
Go!
That Mister is...
He is called Liu Sin Hoi,
is he handsome?
He is cultured and great in Kung-fu
He is rich too
He fits you, doesn't he?
I think you are falling for him
You'd better work now
Liu Sin Hoi, Mister, congratulation...
You are the 1st candidate
Of course,
even the blind can see it
Congratulation
Congratulate me
until I pass the advanced exam
of the capital!
No problem
Kidding?
Who is so nonsense to damage
the government notice?
Kidding!
Who is Lun Man Chui?
Who the hell is he?
There must be some mistake
Mister Liu must be
the number one
Lun Man Chui
Sticky-rice
Coming
Mr Lun
This is our treat
Don't worry, we have enough money
Enjoy your favourite dishes
I haven't had so rich dinner for ages
It will waste more time for
shitting if you eat too much
Mr Lun, I want to question that,
you don't read often,
but why you are always
the number one?
It's simple
Do you have any paper and ink?
Sure
Fresh Abalone?
What does that mean?
I want to eat this,
do you agree?
Waiter
Can you tell us what's
your secret in studying
The secret is
"Work hard"
A good student should not
speak foul language
Sorry, the abalone is sold out
Sorry, I am sorry
How poor!
Who orders such
expensive dishes?
Lun Man Chui and his friends
Those poor students?
They come for celebration!
Mr Lun is the 1st candidate again
Cut half of it and return it
to the kitchen
Why?
They are poor
I am afraid they don't have
enough money to pay for the food
Save half of it, if there is a loss,
I will lose half only
Do you want to be
number one candidate?
Well, I have to ask you
one question
A bride and a bridegroom
spent their first night
The bride dropped
some hair suddenly
Before the hair was dropped,
what kind of noise
would you expect?
"Kau"
"Pu"
"Bang"
Wrong, it's "Pook"!
Isn't it cheap?
Mister, please be merciful
Granny, I am so hungry
Come on, take the sticky-rice
Thank you
Don't mention it
Damn you, you beggar!
You are so dirty!
How dare you steal my food?
Go away
None of my business
You are in my shop
and you broke my stuff
Isn't it my business?
Did I break it?
Pay me money
I don't have money
How about this?
You are beast
Boss, check please
Coming
Well
2.8 taels please
So expensive!
No discount
It's cheap, so cheap
Right, so cheap
Pay now
Are you the one who pays?
I haven't any money
Me too
I haven't any too
Stop messing up, pay it now
Stop acting now
You're all poor actors
Pay now
We are not acting
We have a little bit
internal problem
Let's pay the bill tomorrow,
see you
Shui, call the police
Kidding!
We owe you 2.8 taels only
You know, you'd pay 3 taels
to hire a lawyer
There's no good to you
No way, if you don't pay,
I will call the police
Alright, it's our fault, right?
We should pay for our food
Well
Although I am not willing to do so,
it's worth over 20 taels
Now, I take this as mortgage
I will redeem it tomorrow
Isn't it fair?
Kidding?
How can I know is this true or not?
You can ask some expert
to check it
Don't you think
this is a pawn shop
Well, I think...
You'd better call for police
Let's wait for the police
Alright, up to you
It's better to have some mortgage
Listen
Pay me 5 taels if you
redeem it tomorrow
Pay 10 on the 2nd day,
& I'll possess it if you don't come at all
You are taking my advantage
So you pay me now
OK, OK
But, let's sign an agreement
Make it black and white
Alright
I don't trust you too
It will be very clear then
A bracelet is worth 20 taels,
is pledged to Lu's Restaurant
If Lun doesn't redeem it on time,
the bracelet will go to Lu
Come on, sign it,
make it seriously
Thank you
What are you laughing?
You are fool
It's a fake
I don't believe it
Don't you?
This is easily broken,
don't you trust it?
I won't trust it
Even you don't drop it, it will break
into pieces, don't you believe it?
No. I don't believe it
It's none of my business,
none of my business
This is your shop,
you have the bracelet in your hand
It's broken into two halves
Don't you think we have
to be responsible?
Pay us 30 taels!
Alright, don't see me to the door
I don't want to see you again!
Let's wait and see
Come on, granny, don't cry
Take the money and
eat something
Don't come and
dine in this shop again
Thank you
You'd better thank the boss
Thank you
Lun Man Chui...
Fat Cat is being beaten
Pals, let's...
What?
No, I mean we are rushing
to save Fat Cat's life
Stop
Isn't it enough?
Help...
Fat Cat
Who is beating others?
Why not fight with me?
Beat him is alright,
but you shouldn't kick him
And you use your
number 7 shoes to kick him!
They hit me
Why do they hit you?
They hit me and kick me
Why do they kick you?
They kick and hit me
So, why do you kick him?
What a nuts!
He can't even tell what's happening
Today, we are holding the
birthday party for our Lady
You wrote such things right here,
you mean to offend us
Lady Liu isn't human,
his son is a thief
Yes, it is written by me
So, does he deserve it?
The handwriting is nice!
Are you looking for death?
How dare you write such shit here?
I just passed by
They threw me with the stones,
and blamed me as nuts
I am idiot, but I am not nuts
What's the difference
between idiot and nuts?
No difference, I guess
Thank God you know it
Cut the crap,
report to the police and catch him
Don't mess up
Why don't you be so brave
when you are in a fight?
Fat Cat doesn't mean to offend you
but to greet Lady Liu only
He wants to write a poem
for Lady Liu
But, he was beaten
before he could finish it
So, don't you think
it's fair or not?
It's not fair
You mean this poem
is a greeting to our Lady?
I know you are cultured,
but he didn't finish it at all
Ask him to finish it now
He is hurt,
how can he finish it?
I can make it, I can
Let me help him,
isn't it OK?
We will beat you
if you are lying
Pen
Yes
I am scared
Lady Liu isn't human
She is a fairy
His son is a thief
He steals the Heaven's peach
for her mother's birthday
If it's ungraceful to your mom,
why not blame my mom too?
Good! Good!
You, dogs
You should see how
the wind blows, got it?
Let's go
Lun Man Chui,
you are something!
You are fast and
good at writing poems
I have a good poem in mind
I will read it to you
"Liu's mother is a bad egg"
"Liu's dad fries the egg"
"They are all bad eggs. Damn!"
Isn't it good?
I wanna beat you, bad egg
If you be big mouth again,
I won't save you anymore
Mom...
I bought a duck
to celebrate with you
I guess, she must have
gone for gambling
She hasn't changed
It seems that
I have to eat alone for tonight
Congratulation! You are great
to be the number one candidate
You are flattering me,
I am not that good, but they are poor
Mom, are you happy?
I am happy!
Thank you
You are granted a scholarship
by the Cantonese Association
We wish you to be the number one
candidate in the capital exam
Yeah, this is our wish
Kidding?
I don't think I am good at it
By the way, we are poor
Don't you want me
to walk to the capital?
Money isn't a problem
We will pay for it
That's right
See the money
Just so little
Look at the back
Mom
Mister Lun
We Cantonese are
blamed as barbarians
Not a Cantonese
has been the scholar
You are smart
You should give us glory
Right, don't let us down
I don't want to let you down
but I dislike studying
In fact, I love studying
But my mom is sick
if I leave her
who is going to
take care of my mom?
So, I have to take care
of my mom
My son is so nice to me,
he is filial
Don't push him
Give way please
What are you doing?
I am hanging myself,
so you may study
without any worries
Mom, come down
Don't push me
I don't want to study
I prefer learning Kung-fu
in Shaolin Temple
OK, do you want to be a monk?
If you win the games,
I will let you do whatever you like
Really?
Please give way
Make it five, tri-stars,
four-season, make it six...
Thank you
I fail, you are really great
The 2nd game, come on
You first
You first
A cross
The character "Tai"
The character "Sky"
Dragon, it must be Dragon
You are smart
It's too simple, it's crane
Stop, it must be "Bill"
No
I have written a wrong character
Really? Damn it!
The last game
Clean your nose
You too
Come on
Chicken
Pork
Great
You are really smart
Orange
Garlic
New-year cake
Red-bean cake
Cabbage
Incense
Nothing
Great, you can smell nothing
Pot
Salty fish
Wrong
Bad-smell bean cube
Wrong again
A dead rat
Wrong
Hint please
I will let you taste it
Son, you lost
You should study hard
Your mom has 4 brothers
Why do you choose me instead?
One uncle is operating a casino
One uncle is operating a brothel
One uncle is selling bean cube
Mom said, I have no choice
Why not?
Watch out!
It's from Han Dynasty
As a Chinese old saying,
a woman should know nothing
Most of the scholars
are wolves,
if anything happens to you,
how can I face your mom?
But you said
your students are so nice
They are disciplined
and cultured too
Right
I should always praise my students,
but the truth is...
Dad, you are cheating us
Shut up
I don't care, I have to study
I may pay my own school fee
It's not a problem of money
I have the duty to take care of you
But
I don't want to break the rules
of my school
I have never accepted girls
to be my students for 20 years
It's not you who breaks
the law, it's me
No way. I say no
May I give you one year's
school fee first?
It's not a problem of school fee
I don't work for the school fee
Since you are so aggressive in studying,
I will break my rule for once
You are the first girl student
in my school,
but I insist one thing
No problem,
I will promise any conditions
Don't touch my antiques anymore
Thank you
Dad, I want to study too
That's girls!
OK, up to you!
Thank you
Don't come in. Go out...
I've forgot the luggage, uncle
That's the most expensive one
I am going to school
I have got it,
don't bother my sleep
I have to go to school
early in the morning!
What a pity!
Why does her foot
smell so badly!
I am going to school now, Gnome
Help!
Uncle, what's the matter?
Are you robbed by the thieves?
Someone is going to kill me
Let's hide up
Shut up
If you are wise,
hand us Prince Eight
Maybe, I will ask
His Excellency
to let you go
You bastards!
Unless you kill me,
or I won't hand you His Highness
Sir, he has partner
Kill him too
I am just passing by
Go now
Beat...
Watch my "Turtle Stance"!
Where is the man?
Hey, my friend
I just want to ask...
Cut the crap,
leave here right now
Just forget everything
No, I just want to ask you
how to turn 360? C
So impolite!
You have dropped something
It's going to be bright
Damn it, I am late
No spitting, no fighting,
no shouting,
no courting girls
So many school regulations!
Here are the basic laws only
They are many
ordinances and rules
You will learn it later
Shit, how about
if we commit crimes?
Nothing, just pay money,
that's OK
No big deal!
Your father is rich,
it doesn't matter
Of course
Mister, take this car
for registration
Go now
Mom
Tang Lin Yu
Don't panic, hey,
who are you?
They are the students of Oriental College,
they are bad
Pal, you look smart
Why not study in
our Oriental College?
This school is no good
About arts subjects,
the tutor of His Majesty
is our school director
About sports,
the Martial Arts Scholar
Wong Fei-hong
is our coach!
About negotiation,
we have many friends
in court and in triads
How is it?
Come and join me
I won't
What?
Because my dad is the
school director of this school,
give me back
Give it to me
Come on
Disgusting!
Give the card to me
Hold it
Hold it
Son, stop fighting with them
Our school is the best,
you are so stupid of not joining us
Watch out
Wonderful?
Watch out!
Are you OK? Are you hurt?
Who didn't eat the skin but
throw it on the ground? Let's go
No one eats the skin
of the water melon!
Boss
Lun Man Chui, it's you?
Are you going to school now?
Take a rest first
You are so lucky to study!
It's poor to work here
But it's poor for me
to go to school
What's the matter?
Your bean milk is too hot
I am sorry
Change one for me right now
Sorry, I am sorry
Let me do it
Master Seven, I am sorry
Damn it, I wanna punish you
I didn't beat you,
why did you shout?
Who is that guy?
He is Copper Head,
Master Seven
He is a villain
Change one for me, go!
OK, I will avenge you
No, or you will be in deep shit
I am alright,
I will punish him by my own way
So that, he won't say a word
but still laugh
Really?
If yes, it's my treat
How do you like
to punish him?
To curse him death
Well
Add 2 chicks,
so I will curse his mom too
That's perfect
What are you doing?
This is my bird
This bird is bought by
my master by 30 taels
impossible, I can prove it
How?
It will copy what I said
If you can let it
copy your word,
I will send it to you, say it
Bastard
Once more!
You go to hell
Your family go to hell!
Go on
Your mom go to hell too
You idiot
Idiot. Idiot
Wonderful!
You are really wise
A wise guy
Stop flattering me,
you owe me 2 chicks
No problem, it's my treat
How ignorant!
It's too stupid trick
You seem to be something
Don't be big mouth
Yeah
Don't you believe?
I will hit his head with sugar cane
He won't be angry but
will beg me to beat again & again
Sure, unless he is your woman
Right
Right
Well, pay attention now
Sit over there
What are you doing?
I wanna beat you
You wanna beat me?
Sorry, I have mistaken you
I think you are the famous
Copper Head
You are right,
he is Copper Head
Stop fooling me
His head is described
to be as strong as steel
His head can break everything
But yours can't even
break a sugar cane
How can you be
the famous Copper Head?
Are there any such story
about Copper Head?
Sure, there is a song too
How?
Copper Head...
Copper Head can break any wall,
1234567!
What's the matter?
I am singing after you
I tell you,
I have searched for him for ages
I just want to see my idol
You are cheating me,
you are not Copper Head
He won't be that poor
Kid, I am the famous
Copper Head
Kidding!
Don't you believe,
come on, hit me
I stand right here,
hit me, until you believe me
No, I am afraid
I would kill you
Don't panic,
I am the Copper Head
Listened?
He asked me to beat him. OK
Boss, he is beating him
I wonder! Your head can't
even break the sugar cane!
Don't go, you should
hit me strongly
Otherwise, the sugar cane
won't break. Come on
Master, your head is bleeding
A mosquito is beaten
to death, it's OK
Kid, use more force
It's you who asked me
to hit stronger
Right
Swaying Rod! Come on
Master Seven...
Bravo! Bravo!
You are really Copper Head
I will tell my family
and my friends that
I have met you,
thank you
Welcome
Master Seven,
are you okay?
I can't imagine that
I am that famous
So many people come to me
Bravo!
Wonderful!
You are really good at tricking
Master Seven
Look at them
I can't believe you
fooled Copper Head
Bastards, how dare you fool me?
Stop
Run for our lives!
Headmaster
Dear classmates,
first of all
I have to congratulate you
for joining our family
You know,
to be the student of Ming's College
is a symbol of status
I believe you all know very well
about our school regulations
If anyone goes against
the school regulations,
you will be fined
More serious the regulation is,
more should be fined
Money works?
Wrong, much money works
Sit down
OK, here comes the roll call
Lam Kau
Yes
Lui Kay
Yes
Mo Yan Sing
Yes
Tang Lin Yu
Yes
Lun Man Chui...
Liu Sin Hoi
Yes
Liu Sin Hoi, why are you late
on the first school day?
I am not Liu Sin Hoi,
I am Lun Man Chui
I don't care
The late comer should be fined
Stand aside
Liu Sin Hoi
Lo David
Yes
Yes
Who is Lo David?
He is, I am not
Who are you then?
Liu Sin Hoi
Stand aside
Why?
Because you are late
Headmaster, my dad
asked me to greet you
Who is your dad?
Liu Kung-kuen
Oh, you are the son
of Mr Liu
Nice to meet you,
please be seated
My dad wants me
to greet you too
Who is your dad?
Lun Lo Kuen
Who is he?
Who is Liu Kung-kuen then?
Who is Liu Kung-kuen?
My dad His dad
Liu's son needn't be punished
Lun's son is going to be punished
You have prejudice against me
Right, you are not fair
Stop quarrelling,
you want it fair?
OK, I will give you a quiz
Who can answer the quiz,
sit down,
if not, stand
OK
Now, listen. The following words
are all related to metal
"Steel, iron, copper & brass"
Who first?
Master, you used metal
I prefer fruits
Great
Master
"Apple, orange,
lemon & pear"
Great
Your turn now
Wonderful
Master, he used fruit,
then I prefer using animals
"Zibet, panda, lion & bat"
Master
Wonderful
It's really matched
But it doesn't make sense
You have to be punished too
What?
Don't you agree?
No
OK, you may go home now
Alright, I quit
Goodbye
Cousin, hurry up
What touched me
I can't stand it
Virgin
Brother Lun
Brother Lun
I am here, Virgin
Golden Boy
Virgin
Golden Boy
Virgin
Golden Boy
Virgin
Golden Boy and Virgin...
Isn't it enough?
Can't you change something else?
Virgin
Love is like a dream
I'm happy to see you
Water can be chicken soup
The dream is fantastic
I cry because I love you
Ximengding McDonald
Love is like a dream
The dream is fantastic
I cry because I love you
Love is like a dream
I'm happy to see you
Water can be chicken soup
Love is fantastic
I cry because I love you
Ximengding McDonald
I cry because I love you
I cry because I love you
What are you doing?
Dance! No...
What are you doing?
It's school time, forget about him,
he is nuts
Let's go to school
Dad
Uncle
Stop calling me dad and uncle
Call me Headmaster
Headmaster
Dear classmates,
we have been a boy school,
now we accept girls,
because we want
no sexual discrimination,
we let girls to study too
But I have to warn you,
don't do it intentionally,
or carelessly,
or anything to court the girls
Otherwise, you will commit
serious school regulations
You will be fined, the penalty
is $100,000 taels. Got me?
What? $100,000 taels?
Go back to your seat
The first lesson of today...
Why are you back?
Didn't you quit?
We can't stop studying...
and courting...
What did you say?
I mean, it's very important
for a man to study
I am wrong, I accept penalty
I would like to stand aside
You are good boy
From now on, don't be late
It will make us feel shame, right?
Look at Lun Man Chui,
he is like a wood
Baby you are lovely
You have wonderful figure
I want to be your lover...
You are writing love letter
Return it to me
Wait, don't panic
Return it to me
He is writing love letter,
come and have a look
Stop running
Return it to me
Come and look,
he is writing love letter
Look, a Romeo
from your school
Come and have a look
Return the letter to me
He ruined the name
Give it back to me
He ate the name
Shit!
Well, I am going to read
the letter to you
Baby you look great,
you have good figure...
I want to be your lover,
you made me lose my sleep
Who is he going to write?
I don't know
I want to marry with you,
honey
What a horrible letter,
who is he writing to?
Post it to the board,
to show the public
Wait
What's the matter?
You are going too far
We are not
We want to show the public
something interesting
Let's go, forget about him
See you
OK
He is punched out!
Did you give him a punch?
What do you think?
Bleeding nose...
I am fainting,
come and help me
I will let you go now,
or you would be dead meat
Sorry, please give way
Whose letter is it?
You can't take a look
What is he doing?
Send the letter
Isn't a letter for me?
Sit back...
Dear classmates,
since the students come
from every classes,
we have handsome ones, we have ugly ones,
we have smart ones,
we have stupid ones too
So I am now going to
give you a test
To test whether
you are genius or fool
You two, just sit down,
I won't quiz you
Every students should
answer a question
The one who answers correctly
will be the A grade student
You first
A man ate 10 sticks a day, why?
Because he is hungry. No...
Because he hates it
Wrong
He ate steak!
Poor student
Headmaster
Tang Lin Yu,
here is your question
If you owe me one tael,
now I pay you 10 taels
How much are you
going to return?
Think carefully
9 taels, right?
Good, you are really smart!
A grade student, sit down
Cheung Woo Yau
What thing if it is given then
you may never get it back?
The money given to dad
Wrong
It's "Give way"
Liu, you have a cup
of tea on the desk
Drink it
Without using your hand,
show me
Isn't it correct
Really smart, sit down
It's your turn. If the king dies,
what will his son become?
The king
Go to hell
He will become an orphan
There is a part of the body,
sometimes strong,
& sometimes soft
The adult will have a longer one,
and the child has shorter one
Foreigners' are hairy
What is it?
It's so embarrassing!
What?
Dicky!
Damn you!
You have dirty mind
It's hand!
How can you give
such dirty answer
What kind of hat
is not for wearing?
Green hat Wrong
Tall hat Wrong
Round hat Wrong
Sharp hat Wrong
Square hat Wrong
Fat-head
Wrong
I am fat-headed!
Right, you are correct
Thank you
Now, we are going to choose
a monitor for your class
Each of you can vote once
Headmaster
You first
I nominate Liu Sin Hoi
Headmaster,
I nominate Liu Sin Hoi
Headmaster,
I nominate Lun Man Chui
I nominate Liu Sin Hoi
I nominate Lun Man Chui
Me too
I nominate Lun Man Chui too
I nominate Ching Ching
Me too
Kidding, how can you
choose a monitress?
She can do nothing
You can't say so
Is woman useless?
How about your mom?
There is nothing to do
with my mom,
you are nonsense
Shut up
To make it fair,
traditional practice
I raise a question,
who gives the best answer,
who'll be the monitor
Agree
Lun Man Chui, Liu Sin Hoi,
Ching Ching, come out
Go, don't panic
Listen, each of you
write a poem
The poem should include
the words "Round" and "Sharp"
Lun, you first
The ink stone is round,
the pen is sharp
I write 3 poems and gain
the scholarship of literature
Good
Your turn now
The bow is round,
the arrow is sharp
I shoot 3 times, and gain the
scholarship of martial arts
Good, perfect!
Cousin, go now
Ching Ching
What else do you want?
It's your turn, go now
The belly is round,
the fingers are sharp
I have two sons,
they are both scholars
Wonderful!
Choose her
Great!
Now, the scholars
become your sons
Congratulation, congratulation
Since Prince Eight and
Lee Man Lung escaped,
the court is furious
We are asked to catch them
within one month
Or, we will be killed
Your Excellency, we...
Cut the crap, this is an order
Yes
Tell me, where is Lee Man Lung?
I don't know
How dare you lie to me,
someone saw him appear nearby
No, I don't know
Aren't you telling me?
I'll look for myself
How bad are you
Too cruel
Why it's me again?
I have a good news
to tell you
In order to raise the standard
of our school,
I've employed
a good teacher for you
He is handsome and cultured
He is good at martial arts too
If you want to trick him,
you will have shit at last,
got me?
I haven't tried that
for a long time
I do want to know him
Just go ahead if you dare,
he will be right here,
wish you good luck
So great?
How can you trust my dad?
Do you have his heritage?
Of course not
Stop quarrelling
Why not trick him?
How?
Rat
Throw the rat
to him
He must be scared
It's peanut!
What?
Plus a worm
It's not great enough
Plus a reptile
It's not enough
Why not a poisonous spider?
That's better
You are going too far,
how can you trick him
with such things?
Stop, or we will
trick you too
How dare you trick
the teacher in this way?
You are not human
You should be blamed
I just say these to test you
You are too bad!
Kidding, Ching Ching,
you are civilized
We should learn from you
My cousin
means,
it's not funny enough
Not funny enough
No, I don't mean it
I mean it's not enough
to fool him in your way
You can do it more seriously!
Don't be afraid
You said you are smart
in fooling other
But you are not creative
This is called
"Chick's powder"
It's made by one hundred
chicks' heads, asses, and hearts
It's dried and made into powder
Then, some drugs are added,
if someone has taken it...
How is it?
I am sorry,
lend me your soup
Take it
Mr Lun
You are the smartest
classmate of this class
Kidding
Yes. Yes
So, I'll leave this job to you
Fine
Thank you
Thank you
Stop pretending
Stand up
Dear class, please be seated
You can call me Mr Lee
My name is Lee Tai Chun
From now on,
I am your teacher
Stop running, stop
They are alike
OK, let's start the class
The gentleman is...
I mean Siu Lee...
You should call me Mr Lee
Mr Lee
What question do you have?
Nothing, I think,
since you are new
We have to give you
something for appreciation
This soup...
is made by Liu Sin Hoi,
it's specially for you
It's too kind of you
It's our job
Thank you
Don't mention it,
it's suggested by Lun Man Chui
Thank you
Don't mention it, the material is
bought by Tan Lin Yu
Thank you
You are shaking, why?
Nothing, I didn't
You are weak,
why don't you take it
No, thanks
No way, master
He is too weak to drink
such nutritious soup
Don't worry, drink it
I can't drink it
No one can drink it
You beast
You didn't treat me anything
Mr Lee, according to
our regulations,
you can't drink right here
I will dispose of it
Headmaster
Cut the crap, go on studying
Well, sit down
You beast
I guess they have no guts
to fool Mr Lee
I must be over worrying
It smells good
It's chicken
Confucius said, "When you hear
the laws in the morning..."
Are there any chicken
raised in this school?
Shit
What are you looking?
What is he doing?
He is copying from
the chicken
I am not asking you
He is crazy
Crazy?
What'll we do, Mr Lee?
I don't know,
just forget about him
What?
I will kill the one
who tricked me
20 years ago,
we was the champion of the
joint school competition,
since then, we've been failed
So, I want Mr Lee
to train you
I hope you would win this contest
and to get fame for our school
Stop laughing,
one more regulation will be added
No laughing
And no chicken should be eaten
One two, one two, hurry up...
Hurry up...
Quickly, higher
Ching Ching, study hard
This way please
Marvellous
Listen
Mr Chin always donates
money to build school
You should have honey lips
when you see him,
don't lose my face
I will greet him
on behalf of you
Mind your tongue
This is expensive
It is a gift to Mr Chin
Stop throwing it
Be careful
Hey, they have a bigger one
Let's go
Headmaster...
How are you?
Would you please
give my son a name?
How do you know I am cultured?
I am expert in naming others
I would like to
give him a name...
Headmaster,
how about Stallone?
He is strong!
Why not Harrison Ford?
He is famous
Damn you
I would like to name him...
"Nan Yung"
"Nan Yung"?
Why?
Why this name?
It means open-minded
So great!
Not bad
Good name,
thank you headmaster
See you, Nan Yung
Honey, you are here
Honey, Headmaster has given
a great name for our son
What is it?
Nan Yung
Good name, isn't it?
Good name
Damn you
Master, are you alright?
Kidding?
My surname is Ng,
you name my son Nan Yung
That means "Useless"
in Chinese
But you should not beat me
I can name it again
Call him Mo Mo
Here comes Mister Chin
Congratulation Mr Chin
Thank you, please be seated
Mr Chin, what a great day
Please sit
Mr Chin, please sit
Mr Chin, happy birthday
Headmaster, I have heard that you have
recruited a smart student
You are flattering me,
he is quite smart
He is called Lun Man Chui,
where is he?
Headmaster, where is he?
Well, "It's hot, and the water
is cool, long hair"...
it represents strong desire for sex
Let me check...
Lun Man Chui, come here
Come on, I will have you
bone-touch later, see you
When will we have fun?
What did you say?
I mean playing cards!
I think he is good at courting girls
What do you mean?
Nothing
You are ruining the
reputation of my school
So what? I love it
What's the matter,
Headmaster?
Can't you see it yourself?
Please be seated
We are cultured,
let's have a civilized competition
Each school sends 2 representatives
for the competition
The winner will be rewarded
one thousand taels
The loser should
drink all the wine
What do you think?
OK, go ahead
OK, I will send Nan Man and Nan Mu
to join the competition
I am great in matching sentences
Me too
I send Lun Man Chiu and...
One Lun Man Chiu is enough
I am great in making match too
What?
Damn you
You...
Alright, shut up
Now, let's start
Heaven is the first of the
Eight Diagrams
Your turn
And gold is the first of the
Five Elements
Filial piety is the first
of the Hundred Virtues
Bravo, it's my turn now
South Tong Chou, North Tong Chou,
North meets South
East Pawn shop, West pawn shop,
full of cops
Big casino, small casino,
and we play UNO
Great...
OK, once again
Moon shining through window,
and everyone is widow
Come on, come on
Long life like South Mountain,
and great like Britain
Congratulation...
Listen
Years go like water,
a boy becomes a father
What a wonderful mind!
Lun Man Chui, you are great
Spring is everywhere
Money is kept well here
People of waterloo live on water
How is it?
Guests from Oxford are like Ox
What did you say?
I mean, isn't the answer alright?
Weather in May is wet and hot
Brandy in 3 stars
smells good and sweet
Damn you
It's my turn...
Fart for your Headmaster
It's none of my business
Headmaster...
We will defeat you
in the school competition
Just wait and see
Mr Heung,
you have a good student!
You are flattering me,
how about the money?
One thousand taels
I don't know you,
where are you taking me to?
I don't want to gamble
Go in. Go
I have quitted, stop it
We are all civilized,
be a little bit gentle, OK?
Where are you studying?
Bastard, if you don't pay
the debt for your mom,
you can never dream
of studying
Brother Ho,
I have brought his son here
Where is my mom?
Son
What's that?
I am your mom
Are you...
Can't you recognise me now?
Mom?
Have you brought me the money?
How much do you owe them?
20 taels
I told you to quit
Why don't you listen to me?
I just do it for you
I hope you to have
a better living
So, I just tried my luck
in gambling
Mom, you are really great
Have you ever seen
such great mother?
Here, I want to make use
of this chance
to sing a song for my mother
In this world,
mom is so nice to me
Let's sing together
The baby is so lucky
to be taken care by his mom
Stop singing!
So touching
OK, tomorrow is
the Mother's Day
Go with your mom
for a rich breakfast
Let's go, I will take you
to eat barbecue pork buns
Don't go, it's a simple matter
Pay, or be hooker
I won't be hooker
Good, it's good to be hooker
You have bright future,
good salary
Most important of all,
you should gain more customers
Don't worry,
I will visit you if I have time
Go to hell,
how dare you fool me?
But, let's put it that way
Will you want
such an old hooker?
That's right, so don't
bother them, let's go
No. Stop right here,
take her to the brothel now
Stop, she owes you
money only
So, pay me
Money
20 taels
I will win 3 times,
and gain 24 taels
I'll gain 4 taels as interest too
Come on
Bet
Big
Bet small, I lost because
I betted on big
No, I want big
Don't you want me
to be hooker?
I said big
Small
Ready?
OK, small
Open. It's small
Kid, you are lucky
Mom, you are great
Good boy, listen to me,
make it small
Not a coincidence, make it big
Small Big
Small Big
I said small
Alright
Just one man
should make the decision
Big Small
Forget it, small, up to you
Well, I don't want to push you,
make it big
No
I don't want you to blame me
if you are going to be hooker
Big
Big or small?
Big
It's big
How many times
have we won?
Two
So, what's next?
Let's win again,
then we'll be free
How much should we bet?
What do you think?
I have no idea
It's so important,
it's the last game
I say... Big
OK, small
It's about your future,
you'd think carefully
Change it to big
Come on
Wait
Wait a minute
Since you don't
have any intuition
Let's bet on big
and small together
Are you ready?
Open it
Open. Bingo, pair royal!
You have to be hooker now
What'll we do?
I can't help you,
you'd better be chick
Take her to the brothel
Yes
No way...
Don't move!
Look carefully!
Brother Ho, it's the plate
from the East Chamber
I tell you
I have many friends in
the East Chamber
Who is going to offend me,
that's an offence to the East Chamber
Bull shit
How do I know
it's real or not?
I can say this brick is the
sign of the emperor
Let me teach you
The real plate can light up
the room in darkness
How?
So many lights,
that's why you can't see it
Turn the light off
OK, I have to check it's true or not
Turn the light off
Yes
It says it lights up in dark.
But I can't see anything
You are chatted
You are wise, otherwise,
you will have many dads
I will make you
some midnight snack
Stop
I won't have appetite
by looking at you
You may remove
the cosmetic now
But I am afraid you will throw up
when you see my real face too
Good night
Where are you going?
To hell
Come on, eat!
Lun Man Chun,
you are not allowed to eat
Yeah, I am punished to
eat without paying
Bullshit
What? You sell bullshit?
May I sit down?
Why do you want my seat?
Do you want to court me?
Pal, may I ask you
one question?
No
Just tell me who
gave you this plate?
So, you may get
whatever you want
My girlfriend gave me this
You should see how the wind blows
This will benefit you
Otherwise...
Pal, check please
Don't you know you are in danger now?
So, I have to pay it myself
Alright, I will give you the plate
I don't need your plate
I just want to know
who gave you this?
OK, I will tell you,
but promise me
Do harm him
Damn you
Do you want to trick me?
Not that easy
You are shameless,
how dare you attack my ass?
Help...
It's you who pushed me
to attack
Where is Prince Eight
and Lee Man Lung?
Did they give you this plate?
If you don't tell me,
I will send you to hell
Thank you for saving me
It is a dangerous world. Something...
you don't know is better than you know
Don't tell anyone
about the things happened
Otherwise you will be in danger
Mr Hero, you look familiar,
where have I seen you?
Are we...
Cut the crap,
we don't know each other
Take care
Hero...
We don't know each other?
We come to study,
we are not labour
Why are you still sitting here?
Why don't you go to precise?
Protest against
devil's training
Protest against
devil's training
We protest against
devil's training
We want democracy
& freedom
We want democracy
& freedom
OK, you don't want to practise,
let's take a day off
I think all the students are
aggressive and obedient
But I can't imagine,
you are all useless
If you want to lose again
and to be teased,
just take rest,
to fight for your
democracy again
OK, we are free now
Teacher
What's the matter?
Since you have just been
so angry
I don't want to bother you
Isn't it yours?
If yes, please keep it
What's this?
I have never seen it
A good student
should not be greedy
I am going to send it
to the court
Isn't it yours? No?
So, return it to me
Don't play with such thing,
it's illegal
What are you thinking?
Long hair represents
strong desire for sex
Thick tongue, bad breath...
What did you say?
No
I mean, from the appearance,
can you tell a man
who knows martial arts or not?
I can tell from
Jet Li's appearance
How about Mr Lee?
Teacher, Liu Sin Hoi
and Lun Man Chui is fighting
Stop fighting
Why do you fight?
He said I have had bad breath
He said my nose stank
They want to test me
How dare you beat the teacher?
I wanna beat you...
Kidding?
How dare you!
Look, you hurt him like this
That's your fault
You are in deep shit
What?
You told me to beat him
But I didn't ask you
to beat so heavily!
It's you who make the idea
You love fighting
You were really
enjoying fighting
Your eyeballs are almost out
I told you not to beat his head
I told you not to kick him
So, have you beaten his head?
Have you kicked him?
Yes
So, fix him
None of my business
None of my business too
None of my business
Whom have I offended?
Get lost, haven't you
had enough?
Tell me
You always said
you are the greatest
Now, you fight against each other
before the competition
Mr Lee is supposed
to train you, now
He is in deep shit
He fainted!
You always claim
you will win
Now, you just defeated
your teacher
If you lose in the competition again,
you will be punished
Headmaster, we have much time
to prepare for the competition
We may not lose
Good, if they cooperate
with each other,
they will win
Nosy, you'd better shut up
You are not a boy
Something is missing
in your body
Otherwise, you can go
for the competition
Sit down
I don't want to
take care of you
It doesn't hurt
Are you happy?
They should be blamed
Disgusting
Headmaster
Such bastards
Stop!
We are going to set off,
why not change your clothes?
Are you scared
about the competition?
Sure
Go to hell
Good morning Good morning
It's late!
Why not dress up
for the competition?
Wait, ask the bastards
to come out too
Let's go
Who is the Headmaster here?
What's the matter?
I am the Headmaster
Ask Lee Man Lung to see me
Who is he?
I know he is here,
ask him to come out
Behave yourself,
or, I would beat you
Dad
Headmaster, what's happened?
The mad dog!
He is messing up here
Stand aside
Give way
Ask Lee Man Lung to see me,
otherwise,
you will be in deep shit
I don't care who you are
Just leave the girls away
How dare you!
Are you alright?
Are you alright?
Try once
Let me massage you
Damn you
Good
Don't be proud
Bravo...
Get lost
Let me help you
Ask Mr Lee to leave
Your Excellency
Don't treat them
in such rude way
Long time no see
I know you are great,
you are pretending
I am ordered,
to invite you to Man Lee Heung's
Restaurant for a meeting
Since you come by order,
I should go
Teacher, you...
Don't worry, I am fine
You should try your best
to win the competition
I will celebrate with you
when I'm back
Sorry, Headmaster
Don't you think it's enough?
Hey, get changed,
quickly, we are leaving
Where are you going?
You know that
We have a deal,
we will co-operate, right?
Mr Lee, this way please
Your Excellency,
here comes Mr Lee
Long time no see,
how are you?
You don't just want to know
such thing, do you?
You are so straight forward,
I appreciate it
Eunuch Ngai, you know him very well,
don't you?
Why do you go against him
for that dog?
Since we are good friends,
just hand him to me,
I can forgive you
We are working for different masters,
anyway, thank you
If you want me
to hand you Prince Eight,
that's impossible
Well, do you want
to go against me?
No other choice
So, I am pleased to
have fun with you
How dare you
Headmaster
We can't get Lun and Liu
If we win again,
we will have 20 flags
Headmaster,
we can't find them
Where the hell
have they gone?
Headmaster, we meet again
I have heard that your students
are well trained,
so as to defeat us
Sure...
Yeah, we are always the winner,
it's meaningless
We don't even
have a competitor
Did you eat shit?
Your mouth stinks
Where have they gone?
Headmaster
We are going to start,
what'll we do?
Just ask someone
to join the competition
Ching Ching
Look, they have
brought the maid
How poor are their students!
The first race is quiz
Who answers correctly,
who can gain one mark
Who answers wrongly,
who will have one mark deducted
Understand
Ready
Ready
Please tell 2 idioms
started by "To"
Ming College
"To call a spade a spade",
"To cross the Rubicon"
Right, one mark
What man
was Confucius...
Ming
He was a famous teacher
Wrong, Oriental College please
He was an old man
Right
Kidding
I am an old man,
but I am not Confucius,
isn't it alright?
Don't you disagree
with the answer?
It's quiz again
2 cockroaches were on the wall,
they were couples,
one was dropped
The male wasn't beaten,
but he fell on the ground later
Why?
Ming College
Because they loved each other,
the male wanted to
save the female
Wrong
Earthquake
Wrong
Oriental
Because the male clapped his hand
after seeing the fall of the female
So he lost his balance, & fell
Right, one mark
Kidding
It's too ridiculous
History test
Kublai Khan led 100,000 soldiers
to attack
He shouted,
"Rush, attack, go"
But no one responded
to his order
Why? Oriental
Because the soldiers were scared
Wrong, Ming College
Can you make it?
Who knows what he is talking
Right
Because he spoke in English
The Mongolian soldiers
can't understand his words
Maths quiz. Now,
the result is nine to nine
Who answers correctly,
who will be the winner
of this section
Tell me the result of 1 plus 1
It won't be that easy
Be careful
Ming College
Can you make it?
That's two
Not that easy
One mark will be deducted
What'll we do?
Let's see how they answer
Headmaster, isn't it 2?
You idiot
It won't be that simple
Ming College, answer now
I will count to three, if you can't
answer, I'll deduct your marks
Hurry up
Two
One plus one equals to...
Two
Right
That's so simple
Now, Ming College
wins this section
The world changed
Why can't you answer
this simple question?
I said two, two!
How dare you
trick me?
Mister, please accept my present
Look, the banana is pretty
Why don't you do
this earlier?
Thank you
Watch mine
Now, here comes
the tug of war
Get ready
1, 2, 3, start!
Hurry up...
This section is won by
the Oriental College
Shit
Why did you beat me?
That's none of my business
I don't know
We are on the same side
Watch out
If you are wise,
hand me Prince Eight
I will let you go then
He is ugly
His mouth stinks
His eyes are pretty
I swear
If you can leave here alive
I will leave into seclusion
Teacher
Go to hell
So hard
Baldy, come on
It's too hard
Asshole
Go to hell, go to hell
See which is harder,
your head or my rod?
Hold it
Are you alright?
Fine
Thank you for saving me
We should come
and help you
By the way,
you can't defeat him
"Dragon's Palms"
"Tiger and Crane Stance"
"Swaying Rod"
"Pointed Stance"
"Buddha's Palm"
"Holy Buddha's Stance"
"Flying Angel"
Don't go
Why?
Let him go
Why?
He is beaten to be idiot
How do you know he is real or not?
Anyway,
he was defeated by you
he has no face to show up
in the world of martial arts too
You are right
Here you are,
how about the competition?
Competition?
How about you?
What'll we do?
Forget about me,
go and join the competition
Alright
The last race is a relay
Now, the result is nine to nine
Who wins this relay,
who will be the winner
of this competition
It's no big deal
The instrument used in this relay
is not this simple one
But two
Kidding?
So big is it!
Protest
Invalid, let's start the race
Hurry up...
We can't make it
Hurry up then
Hold it
This is the last one,
win the race, come on
Go
Big one, hurry up
It's lucky of not being
pressed to death
Hurry up
They are back
Hurry up
Hold it, you are late
You can't catch up with me
See you
Big head, are you dancing?
Let's dance together
See you
Hey, hurry up
You've almost made it
Hurry up
Rush! Hurry up
Hurry up
Can you make it?
Why is it so noisy?
Watch it
Wait a minute
Rush
Cheer up
Move
I am coming
Hurry
We have made it
Bingo
We won, I won it
I won it again
I won it
You...
This is the starting point
Great
You made me mad!
The 21st Joint School Competition,
Ming's College is the champion
Uncle, we won
I know it
Bravo!
You bastard, you lose my face
How can I face others?
You drove me mad
Bravo
Ching Ching, asked the kid
to bring me the flag
Mom, I haven't got the
championship for 20 years
Now, I get the flag again,
I have to thank God
Stop playing, stop playing
Stop messing up
Headmaster asked you
to take the flag here
OK
Here comes the Scholar...
3 years later, Lun Man Chui
became the first
Scholar from Canton