Lullaby (1960) - full transcript

(drums beating)
(bell tolling)

(upbeat lively music)

("Wedding March")
(train horn blowing)

(upbeat lively music)

- Here?

- Yeah, you can sit right here.

I'm gonna put this up here.

(Eadie chuckling)

We made it.
- Yeah.

So long New York.

- Have you ever been to Scranton?



- No.
- You'll like it.

- Yeah?
- Yeah. (chuckling)

- I've never been there before.

You sure you don't have to wait?

- Oh, no, I know this judge
he'll, he's a sweet guy.

- Oh, okay.

- You excited?

- Gee, I got butterflies in my stomach.

- Me too.
- I feel lightheaded.

- Yeah, I do too.

Well listen, it's not everyday.

Would you like a piece of gum?

- No, no, thanks.

Oh.



- Did you put them in the box?

- No, I had them in, just a minute.

- You didn't give them to me.

- Did I put the tickets in the thing?

- Yeah, but I think maybe you,

I know you bought them.

- Hold this will you,
while I open this bag?

Excuse me a minute.

I think that's my-
- We bought them, I know we-

- This old bag, I got jumbled-

- It's all right.

I'll take it, don't get nervous, just-

- The tickets were right here, Eadie.

(hole punch clicking)

- How did he know they was there?

- I don't know.

- Must've happened to
him before. (laughing)

(light lively music)

("Wedding March")

(bellhop whistling)

- Thank you very much, sir.

You need anything sir, ask the operator

for number 17, that's me.

Oh, you're a very lucky
man sir, yes indeed.

- What do you think he
meant by that last remark?

- Well, he was just trying to be nice.

- Yeah? Did you see the look he gave us

when he saw one little bag?

I still don't think he believes it.

- I can't believe it myself.

- Me neither.

- Johnny?
- Yeah, Eadie?

- I just thought of something terrible.

- What?

- You didn't carry me into the room.

- I didn't, did I?
- No.

Maybe that's bad luck, huh?

- Oh no, no no, Eadie.

We can still do it.

- Well do you think it'll be all right?

- Yeah it's all right,
'cause it's not our house.

So it doesn't really count.

- Oh yeah.
- Yeah.

- So close your eyes, Eadie.

Make believe like you never saw it before.

Okay, open them.

Well, I know it doesn't look like much.

- It's beautiful.

Johnny look at me, I'm shaking.

- Listen, I didn't mean to hurt you.

- Oh, you didn't.

- No I mean, I was gonna kiss
you easy like, you understand?

And then all of a sudden
something happened.

- I like what happened.

- I'm not always like this, you know?

- Well don't be sorry, you'll spoil it.

Maybe we better have a drink, huh?

- Yeah, that's a good idea, Eadie.

- Johnny?
- Hmm?

- You'll hurt yourself.

- Oh, I forgot.

- Well, I'll go and get the glasses.

- Yeah, okay.

(lively light music)

Well, say when.

- When.

No no, this is for both of us.

Oh, cheers. (exhaling)

- Boy, you always drink like that?

- Oh, only when I, when I need it.

- Oy, that's kinda strong, you know?

I'm a beer man myself.

Boy, I don't like the taste.

- No, neither do I.

- I thought you said you
didn't like the taste.

- I don't, that's why I drink it fast.

- Oh.

- I bet you think you
married a rummy, huh?

- No.
- No, no.

Honestly I, I only drink
when I feel good. (laughing)

And right now I feel wonderful.

Oh, you're beautiful.

You are, you're the most
beautiful man God ever made.

- No I'm not.
- Well, name me three others.

- Well, I don't know.

- You see, I was right.

You're the most beautiful man.

- You're kinda high, Eadie.

- You know something?
- What?

- You're gonna have
trouble with me tonight.

- What kind of trouble?

- Good trouble.

Johnny, you like this?

It's my whole trousseau.

- Gee, everything happened so fast.

I didn't even have time
to buy pajamas or nothing.

Where you going?

- To get ready for my beautiful man.

(lively dance music)

Ole!

- Listen, can't we talk a little first?

- Oh not first, after.

(lively dance music)

- Hello, operator?

Listen, I wanna call New York City.

Chelsea 4-0131.

I wanna speak to Mrs. Horton.

Okay.
- Ole!

- Hurry up, will ya?

Yeah, okay.

Hello, yeah?

Hello Mother?

Yeah, I'm in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Well ask the operator, she'll tell you.

No, no I'm, I'm okay, yeah.

What? No, I'm in a hotel.

The Roger Stone hotel,
Scranton, Pennsylvania.

A couple of boys and me came
down here for some laughs.

(laughing) Yeah.

No, I'm not coming home.

I just called you up to let
you know so you wouldn't worry.

I'm not in any smash-up.

No, I'm not in a hospital.

I'm in the Roger Stone hotel,
Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Well, you heard the operator didn't you?

- Yeah?

- What?

- Oh, I thought you was talking to me.

- No, no, I was talking to the operator.

What do you mean?

What woman?

That was no woman, mother.

That was my Dave, Dave.

No, you know Dave, he's the fat one.

The one that always makes you laugh, yeah.

I'm not coming home Sunday either. Mother.

We're going hunting.

I will not catch cold.

We got tents.

Well thank you very much, Mr. Roger Stone.

(phone clattering)

Eadie?

- You like?

So what'd you want to talk about?

- I think I'll have another drink.

You sure you don't want a drink?

- No, I don't need it anymore.

- Cheers.

- So did you get it all
straightened out with the clerk?

- What clerk?

- The one you were talking to.

- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Listen, you want the window open or shut?

- Don't make no difference.

- I'll open it all the way, okay?

- Yeah, all the way.

- I'll pull the shade down.

- And Johnny, would you turn
over the overhead light?

It's blinding me.
- Okay.

- Come here.

We did it.

- Eadie?
- Yeah?

- Eadie, the door.

I forgot to open the door.

Please, Eadie.
- Oh, right.

(door clanking)

I've got to turn off the
bathroom light, Eadie.

- I think you better leave it on.

We won't be able to see in the dark.

- Oh, the coats, I forgot
to hang up the coats.

I'll get them all hung up and everything.

- You'd make a heck of a housekeeper.

- Well, I like things to be just right.

You know, it's a habit I guess.

My mother says I'm even

a lot more particular than she is.

- Oh, did you call her yet?

- Call who?
- Your mother.

- What do I want to call her for?

- She might like to know you're married.

- I'll tell her when I see her.

- If my mother was alive,
I woulda called her

the minute the ring was on my finger.

- My mother is a lot older.

See, it's different with my mother.

This is going to be some surprise for her.

She kinda gave up the idea
of me ever getting married.

- [Eadie] What about your father?

- He's dead.

- [Eadie] I'm sorry I, I
didn't mean to be personal.

- No, that's okay Eadie.

We're married.
- Yeah.

We sure are.

- So you got a right to
know everything about me.

You could even ask
questions if you want to.

- What kind of questions?

- I don't know, like where
I was born, stuff like that.

- All right, where was you born?

- New Jersey, that's
right across the river

from New York, you know?

- Yeah, I know.

- It's a nice place.
- Yeah.

So what about your father?

- He's dead.

- Oh Johnny, I didn't mean that.

I meant, what was he like?

- Oh, well he died when I was a kid,

so I didn't get the
really know him, you know?

My older sister said he was,

he was quite a boy,
with the ladies I mean.

- Oh yeah? That must have
been rough on your mother.

- She kinda had her hands
full, but she got along okay.

That's the way it always
was with my mother.

Always the kids first.

- Yeah, you were the only boy, huh?

- Yeah, I'm the baby.
- Yeah.

- No I mean it, I mean it.

There was my older sister
I was telling you about,

and then there was me.

- Yeah? When I was a little girl,

I always wanted to have a brother.

I remember he asked my
father to buy me one.

Oh I don't know, I must've been about

six or seven years old.

I saved up my allowance for a whole year.

I remember it came to about $2.

Gee, I can remember this
like it was yesterday.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I gave it to my father, he started to cry.

Up to that time, I always thought

that my mother being in a wheelchair

was because she was tired.

Because she never let on, you know?

I mean, she was like
your mother, you know,

she did the sewing and
everything like that.

My father never got over her going.

I'm sorry. (sobbing)

It's been such a long time since
I've had anyone to talk to.

- It's good to talk sometimes.

- Yeah, you know Johnny,

when I first went to work
at the, at the Gay Paree,

I was, I was scared to death

to talk to any of the customers.

I remember the first time
I went around with my tray,

there was an old man there,

he was old enough to be my grandfather.

So I thought that he treated me

like I was his daughter or something.

So I went up to him and I said,

"Would you like to buy
a pack of cigarettes?"

And he said, "Sure."

So he hands me a $20 bill.

And he says to me, "Keep the change."

Well, I know the tips
are supposed to be good,

but not that good, you know what I mean.

So then he says to me,
"Would you light it for me?"

So you know, I'm a dumb kid.

I lean over and I start to light it,

and suddenly he grabs me.

He had hands he never
even know what he had.

- What did you do?

- Oh, what can you do, Johnny?

I just held up the straps of my gown.

- Boy, I'd like to get
my hands on that guy.

- Yeah, well come down
to the club any night

and take your pick.

- Forget about all that, Eadie.

I'm getting a truck soon,
we'll be sitting pretty.

I don't know how you stood it this long.

- Johnny. I think it was fate.

I think I was meant to work there

so you'd come along like you did.

- That's mysterious.

- [Eadie] Johnny, will
you answer me something?

- If I can.

- Why did you marry me?

It could have been any one of the girls.

- Could it have?
- Couldn't it have?

I mean, I only went out
with you three times.

- So what?

I know guys that went out
with girls for 10 years,

then when it came time to get married,

they couldn't stand to look at each other.

You know Eadie, it's only
after you get married

that you really learn
what a person is like.

Up to then it's all a fake.

Both of them behaving like angels.

The girl making out like she
wants to go to the hockey games

and the baseball games.

She don't really know the
difference between them, see?

And the guy, he's shaving so close,

It's a wonder he's got any skin left.

It's all a fake.

- Well you're very smart, you know that?

- Well, I get along.

- No, you do better than
that, you're very smart.

I bet you had a lot of
girls after you, huh?

- A couple.

- [Eadie] So, so why did you pick me?

I mean, I'm not such a prize.

- I could ask you the same question.

- No, I asked you first.

- Why do I marry you?
- Yeah.

- [Johnny] I married you,
well because I, I wanted to.

- Yeah, but what was the reason.

- You got, does there have to be a reason?

- Oh, there has to be a reason, Johnny.

You know that, there's a
reason for everything we do.

- No, that ain't necessarily true, Eadie.

Sometimes you just feel
something is right.

You don't know why it's
right, but you feel it.

Like when you go to the
Dodgers games, you see?

You don't know they're gonna win.

You sit up there in the bleachers

and you're feel it, in here.

That's why I married you.

- Oh Johnny, sometimes you
say the most beautiful things.

Johnny, come to bed.

- Eadie, Eadie?
- Yeah.

- You didn't tell me why you married me.

- You mean the reason?

- Yeah, you said yourself,
there's gotta be a reason.

- I married you because you wanted me.

I needed somebody to want me.

Is that a good enough reason?

- Yeah.
- No it's like, Johnny.

When I came out of the Gay
Paree that first night and I,

I saw you standing there like a little boy

with your hat in your hand,

and you were afraid to talk to me

'cause you thought that I would think

you were fresh or something.

I knew then like I knew when
you carried me in here tonight

that I loved you better
than I've ever loved anybody

in my whole life.

- [Johnny] I'm gonna have another drink.

- Ain't this something new?

- Well, it ain't everyday a
guy goes on his honeymoon.

We got three whole days.

- Yeah, we may need it.

- Listen, let's go to Niagara
Falls on our honeymoon.

- Oh no, that's too far.

- No that, all right.

Let's go to Bermuda, so you can get there

in three hours in a plane.

- [Eadie] Johnny. We can't afford it.

- Oh, you want a drink?

- No, no, I don't think
I'm gonna have any more.

- Come on, you have to have a drink.

We've gotta have a drink to celebrate.

- To celebrate, we don't
need to get drunk to do it.

- To do what?

- To celebrate.
- Oh.

- Johnny?
- Hmm?

- Don't drink any more tonight, huh?

It's, it really, it's not good for you

to drink too much before you go to bed.

- Why not?

- It makes you dizzy.

- No it don't, it helps you sleep.

- You wanna sleep?

- You ain't tired?

- No.
- Oh.

- So?
- So?

- So I just said that.
- Oh.

- Listen, you sure you
don't want another drink?

- I'm not even sure I'm in the right room.

- What kind of crack is that to make?

- No Johnny, I mean, I
don't know if you're drunk

or I'm drunk, but something screwy here.

I mean, this is taking too long.

- What?
You know what.

I'm your wife, remember?

- Sure, sure.

Yeah I remember, I really do, here.

- Oh Johnny, please.

No, put that down.

Look, you see your hand is shaking?

You see how nervous you are?

- What have I got to be nervous about?

- (laughing) I don't know, you tell me.

- Okay well listen, I'm
gonna open the window.

- Be careful, you'll fall out. (laughing)

- It's kinda hot in here.

- You're hot? Why don't
you take off your clothes?

- What for?

- Oh, I wanna see you got
any tattoos. (laughing)

- I ain't got a mark on my body.

- [Eadie] Johnny, you want
me to turn off the lamp?

- No, no I can do it.

- Well, at least I'm getting close.

- Oh Eadie, it's
different from the others.

You're my wife, Eadie.

- Oh Johnny.

- I want you to so much, Eadie.

- Johnny, you make me feel
like I'm 16 years old.

(telephone ringing)

Don't move, stay just as you are.

I'll get it.

Hello?

Oh yeah, just a minute, it's for you.

- Tell her she's got the wrong
room, tell her I'm not here.

- How did you know it was a her?

- Oh please Eadie, please Eadie.

Do like I tell you, please.

- Hello?

Listen I'm sorry, you have the wrong room.

Yeah, I know.

But there isn't anybody here by that name.

Huh? Dave, Dave who?

There's no.

(phone clattering)

- Don't you wanna ask me who that was?

- No, I figure you'll tell me.

- No, ask me who it was.

- Johnny please, I don't wanna play games.

- Are you mad?

- No I'm not mad, I'm
just a little mixed up.

- Okay, sit down, sit
down and I'll tell you.

- No Johnny, you don't have to.

- No, but I want to.

I don't want you to go around thinking

it's one of my girlfriends or something.

Eadie, you're gonna laugh
when I tell you this.

It's my mother.

(Eadie sighing)

I bet you never figured that out, huh?

- Your mother?

How did she know you were here?

- I called her.

I know I said I didn't, but I did.

I guess she worried about me.

She always worries about me

like I was a 12 year old kid or something.

You know what I mean?

Listen, don't get me wrong.

She wants me to do things
the way I wanna do them.

She likes me to enjoy myself, sort of.

- Did you tell her about us?

- I meant to.

She always wanted me to get married.

- Yeah, but not to somebody
like me, is that it?

- No, that's not it Eadie,
that's not it at all.

Eadie, this is gonna be hard to say,

but to my mother, well
I'm, I'm like her baby.

- Oh, you like being like that?

- No, that's why I had to get away.

No, I mean-

- I know what you mean.

Poor baby.

- Don't make fun of me.

- I ain't, I ain't making fun.

I just didn't understand, that's all.

Come here, sit down.

You want me to take off your shoes?

You like that?

I'm gonna turn out the light
so it doesn't get in your eyes.

Better? You comfy?

You know something? I could
be arrested for kidnapping.

(comical music)

(bells tolling)

Sleepy head, hey, sleepy head.

- Eadie, oh Eadie.

I was, I was having the craziest dream.

- [Eadie] Oh yeah? So let's hear.

- Well, I don't know how I got there,

but I was riding in like
a great big subway train.

- [Eadie] Oh yeah, which one, the BMT?

- I don't know, I don't know.

But I was holding on to one of them poles

and there must have been
like a thousand people

trying to pull me away from it.

- Oh yeah, that was the BMT.

- Yeah, but the funny thing is,

all those people, they were girls.

- (chuckling) Oh yeah? That figures.

- The train stopped short
and all those girls,

they were trying to
push me out of the car.

- Oh yeah? That must've been rough.

- It sure was, I didn't want
to get off at that station.

- Oh.

- I looked back and you
were sitting in the car.

- (laughing) Uh-huh.

- Yeah, I wanted to get back
in, but the door slammed shut.

The conductor said it would cost

a dollar and a quarter to get back in.

But my mother said I should
make myself real small

and sneak in under where you pay.

You know, where that, what
do you call it goes around.

- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,

Yeah, I know what you mean.

What was your mother doing there?

- She was a conductor, in
a uniform and everything.

- Isn't that mysterious?

(knuckles rapping)

- Oh Eadie, listen, get
me my pants, will you?

- [Eadie] You get them yourself.

- Okay, turn around.

- I don't wanna, I want to
see your gorgeous legs again.

- Oh come on Eadie, do like I tell you.

- [Eadie] All right, for you.

- All the way.
- Is this far enough?

- No, all the way.
- All right.

Peek a boo, I see you.
- Oh come on.

- Ooh, I see you. (laughing)

(knuckles rapping)

Who is it?
- Bellhop.

Good morning, Mrs. Horton.

- What do you want?

- The manager asked me to
come up and check your phone.

- Oh, the phone?

Oh, well just help yourself.

- Operator's been ringing here,

but there wasn't any answer, you see?

Somebody would've come up last night only,

maybe you didn't want to be disturbed.

- What are you smiling at?

- Don't you like my smile?

Most of the girls do.

Where's Mr. Horton?

- What do you have to know for?

- Well, no reason.

I just figured if Mr.
Horton had to leave early,

you might be wanting some company.

- Are you for real?

- Am I so hard to take, huh?

- No, listen, I could
take you with either hand,

the right or the left, which you want?

You're pretty cagey, ain't you?

- I wasn't doing anything.

- Johnny, don't start up with him.

- Is that the way to talk to a girl?

- I'm only trying to be friendly.

- Johnny, he's just a stupid kid.

- Yeah, yeah, I'm just a stupid kid.

- You're just a stupid kid?

You don't know any better
than to say that, huh>

- Johnny, Johnny.

- You're not gonna talk to my manager,

I'll lose my job.

- [Johnny] No, this is between you and me.

- Oh Johnny please, no Johnny please.

Johnny please, let me in.

Johnny don't hurt him, Johnny.

(bellhop spitting)

- A little soap never hurt nobody.

(Eadie laughing)

- I'm gonna call the cops on you,

that's what I'm gonna do.

- Wait a minute, here.

Take that, call them up.

- Well, you're a couple
of escaped lunatics.

- Yeah.

- Eadie?
- Yeah?

- I don't know what the
world's coming to anymore.

Hope the coffee's still warm.

- Yeah.

Johnny, I got some Danish
for you for your breakfast.

You gotta tell me what you
like and what you don't,

so I'll never buy it for you.

- When I'm hungry, I
can eat about anything.

As a matter of fact, I
can eat just anything.

In the army, they called me
the chow hound of the regiment.

I even liked C-rations.

- Oh yeah? Nobody's supposed to like them.

- You shouldn't talk with your mouth full.

- Well, if I wait until I swallow,

I forget what I'm gonna say.

- Well, then it can't be very important.

- Oh, there.

- [Johnny] That's better.

- Yeah, but I forgot what
I was gonna say. (laughing)

Johnny?
- Yeah?

- How do you like it?

- That's pretty good for a start.

We go downstairs to eat,
we'll have a real breakfast.

- I didn't mean that.

I meant being married.

- Oh? Oh yeah.

- You mean you're not sure?

- What's there to be sure of, Eadie?

- Us.
- I'm sure of that.

- So what is it that
you're not sure of, huh?

- Wait til it happens,
and then I'll tell you.

- Wait til what happens?

What makes you think
something's gonna happen?

- I don't know, but she always does.

I mean, it always does.

- What, what?

- Eadie, come on, come please.

- Come on, tell me what, what.

- Eadie, it's morning.

Just like, like now.

We didn't know we were gonna
be having this argument.

We didn't know it was gonna
happen, but it's happening.

- [Eadie] Well, who's arguing?

- What do you call this, a discussion?

- Yeah, that's what it is.

- Well, I'm very glad to know it.

- Johnny, what are you hollering at?

- I'm not hollering.

- Oh, don't be so funny.

- Listen up, are you gonna
be this way every morning?

Nasty?
- I'm nasty.

I asked you a simple question.

- And I gave you a simple answer.

- Well, I don't understand your answer.

- Write it out on a blackboard for you.

- [Eadie] Where are you going?

- I'm going to the bathroom.

(door slamming)

To get a glass of water.

(Eadie sobbing)

(gentle sentimental music)

Eadie, there ain't any glasses.

- I used them for coffee. (crying)

- You want some water?

I got it out of the, out of the faucet.

They got ice water coming out.

- Well, maybe just a drop.

- Okay.

(napkin scraping)

- That's too much.

- You don't have to drink it all.

To our first discussion.
- That was an argument.

- I know it was, Eadie.

I know, I had to go on making believe

I didn't know what you was talking about

when you asked me how I liked it.

- You mean the breakfast?

- You know what I mean?

Why do I do such dumb things, Eadie?

- It doesn't matter, you're beautiful.

Johnny?
- Yeah?

- How do I feel to you,
the same as last night?

Oh, that's good.

You know the girls at the club warned me

that on your wedding morning,

you either wake up two ways.

Either you hate yourself or you hate him,

or else you don't know it's morning.

It's not morning, is it Johnny?

- No, Eadie.
(knuckles rapping)

- It's all right, we're married.

- I'll bet it's that bellhop again.

Listen, wait.

See that, right in there.

(Eadie laughing)

Eadie, shh.

Mother!

- Oh Johnny, are you all right?

- Yeah, I'm all right.

- I was sure something happened to you.

- No.

- Well, what are you doing with the soap?

- Listen, what are you doing here, Mother?

How did you get here?

- Well, how do you think I got here?

I came by plane, it's the
only way to travel. (gasping)

What's this, your friend Dave?

- Her name's Eadie, Mother.

- Eadie? (laughing)

I thought it'd be Bubbles
or something like that.

- Well just a minute, Mother.

- Don't you Mother me.

Scaring me half to death,

making me take my life
in my hands to get here.

So I had the wrong room, huh Bubbles?

- Her name ain't Bubbles.

- Why did you have to come

all the way to Pennsylvania to do it?

I'll talk to you when we get home.

- [Johnny] We're not going home, Mother.

- What was that?

- Well you heard him, he's not going home.

- Look Bubbles, I don't mind a little fun,

but it's morning now.

- Gee, you're quite a
character, ain't you, Mama?

- What did you call me?

- Mama, or should I say Mother?

- You ain't gonna be any daughter of mine.

- No you're right, I ain't gonna be, I am.

- I'll kill myself, I'll throw
myself out of the window.

How do you roll this darn thing up?

- Now Mother, cut out that old stuff.

- You don't think I'm gonna
live through this, do you?

With my heart and my blood
pressure the way it is.

- Now.

- Johnny, you want me to
get her a glass of water?

- What did you say?

- Whiskey.
- Whiskey.

Listen Mother, I tried
to break it to you easy.

- Is it legal?

We'll get a lawyer, he'll know what to do.

- I don't wanna do anything.

- Who cares what's you
want, you're only a baby.

- I'm 38 years old.

- Age don't make any difference.

It's what's up here that counts.

And if you had the
brains of a 12-year-old,

you wouldn't have gotten us into this.

- Didn't you always tell me
you wanted me to get married?

- If I told you to jump off
the roof, would you do it?

- Maybe he would.

- Where did you meet Johnny?

- He came into the club where I work.

- Yeah, it was an army reunion.

- And you hustled him, huh?

- Mother!

- Yeah, I clipped him for
a whole pack of cigarettes.

- He don't smoke.

- Well, maybe he was
living it up that night.

- When did this happen?
- Yesterday?

- Where?
- Here.

- All in one day, huh?

I knew there was a loophole.

- A what?
- A loophole.

There are laws in this country

protecting boys from girls like you.

One of them is a three-day waiting period.

- Oh yeah? Did you ever hear

of a little thing called a waiver?

A judge can marry you
without waiting three days

if he wants to.

- Eadie's right, Mother.

She used to live in this
town, so she oughta know.

- Well, we'll see about that.

Where's the telephone?
- Here.

- I'll call from downstairs.

- Call who?

- [Mother] The courthouse,
who do you think?

- Save yourself the trip.

I can give you the judge's home phone.

- So you even know that too, huh?

- Well, I ought to, he used
to be my truant officer.

- I didn't think you went to school.

- I didn't, that's how I got to know him.

- She got you on that
one, Mother. (laughing)

- All right, how much do you
want to get him out of it?

- Oh ooh, oh Mother!

- Because no matter what he's told you,

he's only got $400 in the bank.

- Oh yeah? What happened to the 1500

he was gonna put down on the truck?

- So you even told her that too, huh?

- Well why shouldn't I,
she's my wife, isn't she?

- What kind of a man tells his
wife how much money he's got.

It just shows you his intelligence.

I lived with his father for
10 years, and in that time

he must've made and lost
a couple of fortunes.

Did I ever see a penny of it?

We had a good business
too, until the government

had to stick its nose in
and repeal prohibition.

He gets a couple of bucks

and he's gotta throw his weight around,

like he was a millionaire.

Do you know how he got that money?

I saved it for him, every year, every week

I put it in the bank.

Do you see this coat I'm wearing?

It must be 10 years old or more.

I got one pair of good
shoes, these are them.

- Hold on Mother, I always
wanted to get you things.

- Well, I don't want nothing.

All I want is to know
that you've got enough

for a rainy day.

I ain't done nothing all my
life, but look to protect you.

And I let you out of my side one night.

One night I got to a lousy bingo party

and this is what happens.

My own boy, my baby doing this to me.

- I'm not a baby, Mother.

I'm a man.

- Is he?
- The greatest.

- Don't be so conceited.

(knuckles rapping)

- Yeah?

- The manager wants to see
you in his office right away.

- What about?

- Well, you know what about.

You gotta pay for that
phone you pulled out.

- Oh okay, tell him I'll
be down to settle the bill.

- No, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Come right in here.

What is this about a
phone being pulled out?

- Yeah, that's right.

Maybe they didn't want to be disturbed.

- What are you smiling at?

- Who's smiling?

That's my face, it's like that.

- Kids like you shouldn't be
thinking things like that.

- Lady, this is a free country.

If I wanna think, I think.

- Now just a minute, bud.

You're talking to my mother.

- Well, she ain't my mother,
what's she telling me for?

I'll tell you lady, I don't
normally think them things,

I do them.

(Mother gasping)

- Hey, let go.

Hey lady, let go.

No, no, no, no, lady, I'm allergic!

(Johnny and Eadie laughing)

- A little soap never hurt nobody.

What is this world coming to?

Kids like that shooting off their mouths.

What are you two laughing at?

You're no better, running off

in the middle of the night, eloping.

What's the matter with you?

What do you think you are, 20 years old?

- I feel like it.
- Oh.

- Well feeling like it and being it

are two different things.

We had a saying when I was a girl,

it goes good today too.

Take it easy, you'll last longer.

- Yeah, didn't you always
say life begins at 40?

- Yeah, and it can end there
too, if you're not careful.

How old are you?
- 25.

- Foolish question, foolish answer.

- All right, I'm 30.
- 30?

Well, that's a good age to stop at.

- Well, it's just the
right age for me, Eadie.

- [Mother] Will you
look at the two of them,

billing and cooing like
a couple of parakeets.

Oh, you're gonna have your hands full

with him when we get home.

- We're not going home
Mother, at least not yet.

- What do you intend to do?

- Well, first we're going to
Niagara Falls for a honeymoon.

- Are you going with him?

- Yeah, I figured on it.

- Oh, what's in Niagara Falls?

Just a lot of water.

Now if you take my advice,

you save your money and come home.

No place like New York for a honeymoon.

Besides Johnny don't like

sleeping in different beds every night.

He likes his own bed,
it's a three-quarter.

He tosses around a lot, but
the room is large enough,

and we'll put a cot in there for you.

- Oh no, I don't mind his tossing.

- [Mother] It ain't healthy for two people

to sleep in the same bed,
any doctor'll tell you that.

- Just a minute, Mother.

First we'll go to Niagara Falls.

And then when we get back,

we're staying in Eadie's apartment.

- Who decided that?
- I did.

- Without asking me?

- Well I can't go asking your permission

for every move I make.

- [Mother] Well you
always get up until now.

- Well, well now it's different.

- It sure is.

Well all right Johnny,
no use crying about it.

Well all right, no use.

Some mothers have got it
a lot harder, I think.

Oh well, I'll have my
things out of the place

by the time you get back.

- Well, what are you gonna
get your things out for?

- So that you can have it.

Me, I'm only one person.

What do I want with four rooms?

How many rooms you got where you got?

- Just one and a little kitchenette.

- Oh, one of them bachelor places, huh?

Oh, you kids are going to wanna entertain.

Where are you going to do all that?

- Mrs. Horton?
- Oh call me Mother.

If I said some things
to hurt your feelings

I'm awful sorry, but you gotta remember,

I'm an old woman now and I'm
not so responsible no more.

- Oh, you got more life to you

than most of the girls I work with.

- Oh no, no, it's all on the outside.

I could die like (snapping)
that in a minute.

One of these nights it's gonna happen,

maybe in my sleep, I hope.

- Oh Mother, you mustn't talk like that.

The doctor says you'll outlive
us all if you take care.

- Oh doctors, what do they know?

Well I, I guess I better be on my way.

- Goodbye, Mother.
- Yeah, well I think maybe.

- I think maybe I better
sit down for a little while,

I am awful tired.

- Mother?
- Yeah, daughter?

- Mother I was just thinking,
maybe it's a good idea

if we do move into your apartment.

- (Gasping) You'll like
our place very much.

- And you'll love mine.

- What do you mean, I'll love yours?

- Well you know, like you said.

Now four rooms is too much for you,

you know, to just ramble around in,

and Johnny and I could use it.

And my place is so easy to keep clean.

- How much do you pay
for that place of yours?

- $75 a month.
- $75 a month?

Well, we don't pay that
much for four rooms.

Johnny can't afford two rents like that.

- Oh yes I can, Mother.

And pretty soon, I'll be
having a truck, have income.

- Yeah and I have a job,
so don't worry about it.

- Yeah, well that's very sweet of you,

but nobody is gonna
sacrifice their life for me.

- You gotta live someplace, Mother.

- Well, there are plenty of
nice old ladies homes around.

- [Johnny] You're not gonna
stay in any old ladies home,

that's for sure.

- You see how he worries about me?

He was always like that,
always taking care of me.

- And I'm gonna go right
on taking care of you.

- You know, everybody in the neighborhood

is jealous of me for
having such a good son.

Maybe I can get myself a
cute little furnished room.

Johnny, I know just the
place, Mrs. Collins.

- Mother, that's a wonderful idea.

- She's an old friend of mine.

- Oh well that's wonderful.

- Her son is in the army,
so she's all alone too.

- [Eadie] Oh that's, then it's settled?

- Yeah, you go and pack.

- [Eadie] Yeah. (laughing)

- Johnny, I want you to
take Eadie to Niagara Falls

and show her a real good
time, because a honeymoon

is the most important part of your life.

Oh God, how I need a vacation.

- Mother.

- Oh don't worry, I wouldn't go.

Not even if you asked me.

- Well, I ain't asking you.

Can I help you, Eadie?

- No I don't think so, I
think I got everything.

- (chuckling) My, isn't this
a little drafty for Niagara?

- Well, I didn't even have that much.

(Eadie laughing)

I'm gonna go down, pay the bill
after everything is packed.

I'll pay for the telephone.

- Well I'll, I'll be waiting
for you when you get home.

Just ring the bell, and I'll
come across to greet you.

- Whose bell?

- Mrs. Collins, she lives
just across the hall.

(dramatic bright music)

- [Eadie] Oh.

- Have a seat by the window.

Oh, Eadie.

- Some character we got behind us.

- Well so long Scranton, hello Niagara.

- Oh boy, was you ever there before?

- Niagara?
- Yeah.

- No.
- Me neither.

- I never been on a honeymoon before.

- Do you have to be on a
honeymoon to go to Niagara?

- Well it's a good place
to visit, you know.

- Yeah.

How'd you like the lunch?

- Pretty good, Eadie.

It's hard to eat on a train,

you know?
- Yeah.

- Everything kinda shakes.

I can't ride going
backwards, you know that?

I get nauseous.

It's just the idea of the stuff going past

my eyes like that, I get nauseous.

- Yeah.

- Boy, glad to get out of Scranton, Eadie.

I'll tell you the truth.

- Johnny?

- Eadie please, there's a man watching.

- [Eadie] He's not watching.

- He may be like those Peeping
Toms and stuff, I don't know.

- No, he's just staring into space.

- Please Eadie, he might
be a drunk or something.

Eadie, we're on a train.

- He doesn't have to know.

- Yeah I know, I want to,
but what am I gonna do?

Please Eadie, wait a minute, okay.

What are you making such a fuss about?

How do you-
- I-

(lips smacking)

- You see?

(Johnny laughing)

(train whistle blowing)
(upbeat lively music)

(light lively music)

Johnny?
- Yeah.

Whoa, well this is the last of it.

- Oh thank you, my big furniture mover.

- It's all right, pay me later.

- [Eadie] You're fresh,
where are you going?

- I'm gonna go down and look
at the back of the truck.

I think I scratched it
with one of them chairs.

- Johnny, will you stop
already with the truck?

It's gonna outlive the two of us.

- You think so, huh?

- Yeah, I know so.

- Come here.

- Honey, I have to get dinner.

- No no no, just a minute, here.

How does she look to you?
- Beautiful.

- Now, now you're kidding me.

- No I'm not, I'm not kidding.

That is without a doubt

the most beautiful truck on the road.

- Here, take another look.

- Johnny dear, I have
to go and get supper.

- No, please take another look

and then I'll let you go.

You like the color?

- I think it's beautiful.

- You don't think it's too loud?

- No, it's the same color nail
polish I use, blazing red.

- Yeah, now you're making fun of me.

- No Johnny, I'm not making fun.

I really, I'm so proud
of you I could bust.

- Me two, Eadie.

Eadie?
- What?

- Eadie, I-
- Yeah, what dear?

- Eadie?
- What?

- You think I'll be able to pay for it?

- Johnny, you get me so mad
when you talk like that.

- Why, what did I do?

- Well how do you expect
to become somebody,

you talk like that?

- I was only asking,

- No, well don't ask.

See, you're a boss now,
you gotta tell them.

- Tell who?
- Everybody.

I mean, let them know that you have

complete confidence in yourself.

Otherwise they're not gonna
trust you with their orders.

- I'm the best truck
driver in the business.

- Who says so?
- I say so.

I've been behind the wheel 20 years,

I never had an accident.

- I ain't interested in your health.

Can you deliver?

- Quicker and cheaper than anybody,

because I got my own
truck and I'm my own boss.

(horn honking)

Hey, hey!

Hey you kids, get off that fender.

You'll scratch the paint!

- I'm playing second
fiddle to a big red truck.

- Just a minute there.

Now you'll know the kind of
business you're dealing with.

Do I get the order or don't I?

- Well, I'll think it over.

- No, I wanna know now.

- What can I tell you?

- I want to know, who's the greatest?

- The greatest what?

- You know what.

- No, honestly, I don't,
I don't know. (laughing)

- [Johnny] Tell me who the greatest is.

- Johnny please, you're
gonna give me a neck ache.

- I don't care, you're gonna
tell me who the greatest is.

- You honestly, you are the greatest.

Johnny please, can I go into the kitchen?

- No
- Johnny.

I have to, I'm gonna be late for work.

- All right, throw me over
for a veal parmigiana.

- Scallopini.

What are you doing?

- I'm scratching my back.

You won't do it for me.

- I will, I'll do it for you.

- Oh, Eadie.
- Is that good?

- Yeah.

- You know, I made you a
special salad dressing tonight?

This is the kind my mother used to make.

Oh Johnny, will you take
that thing down in the cellar

with your mother's other things?

- Well, it's pretty
jammed up down there now.

- It's only temporary
til we buy our own house.

- House? You must be out of your head.

A house, you gotta have,

be a millionaire to have a house.

- Oh, you don't have to be a millionaire.

You know, I was reading in the paper

that if you're a veteran,

you put a couple a hundred dollars down

and the rest you pay out, like rent.

- Yeah, we just moved in here.

Now you already talking about moving.

- Johnny, this is your
mother's house, you know?

It's nice of her to lend it to us,

but a girl likes to have
her own place to fix up.

- Well you are fixing it up, aren't you?

- Yeah, but your mother
isn't going to like the idea

of my throwing her stuff
out, moving my stuff in.

- I don't know, I told
her about it last night.

She didn't seem to mind.

- When last night?

- Last night after you went to work.

- You didn't tell me?

- What is there to tell you?

- Johnny, what does your
mother do during the day?

- What do you mean, what does she do?

- I mean, what does she do during the day?

She has all this time
to come in here at night

when I'm not here, what
does she do during the day?

- She gives blood to the Red Cross.

- Every day?

- No, she goes to those
radio quiz programs.

She goes to a lot of those,
they give things away.

She once won a ski suit.

What do you mean, she's busy?

- Johnny, we've been home three days.

She hasn't been in here
once when I'm here.

- [Johnny] Eadie, are
you trying to say to me

that my mother doesn't like you?

Well you're wrong,
because I know otherwise.

- Well that's nice, because
there's something about her

slinking around like the
FBI that has me scared.

- Now wait a minute.

- Johnny, I don't know what I mean.

It's just a feeling that I
have as a woman, deep inside.

I just, I just have a feeling

that an atom bomb is about to explode.

(doorbell buzzing)

There, there it is, that's your mother.

- How do you know?

- I just know.

- Where are you going?

- To stick my head in the oven.

(Mother laughing)

- [Johnny] Hello, Mother.

- Well be careful, don't upset the head.

I had to sit under that blower
for an hour to get it dry.

My ears are still ringing.

Give me a good old Marcel iron any day.

I won't be able to hear for a week.

- What are you all dressed up for?

- Maybe I got a date. (chuckling)

Well, what's going on around here?

You two must have bought
out all the stores.

- No, most of that stuff is
from Eadie's old apartment.

We had to move it out today

because the new people are moving in.

Who you got a date with?

- Why, do I have to report to you?

You don't tell me everything you do.

I like this very much, it's very nice.

Yes, very, very, very nice.

- It's Wednesday.

Aren't you going to your
bingo game tonight, Mother?

- I gave that up, we got raided.

The girls have switched to Mahjong.

Gee, it's getting hard to
recognize the old place.

- You like it?

- Sure, no comparison where I'm living.

Oh it's all right, you understand.

Mrs. Collins keeps a nice house,

and my room has a window in it.

Where's Eadie?

- She's fixing the dinner.

- Well, it'll be a change
for you from the cafeteria.

- We don't eat in no cafeterias.

- No? Mr. Hudson the
counterman told me different.

- Well, we might've gone in there once

for some coffee or something.

- Look Johnny, I don't
care if you eat it all.

The day you left I made up my mind,

I wasn't gonna interfere.

But I can't help what my eyes see,

and since your honeymoon,
you must have lost 10 pounds.

- As a matter of fact Mother,

I weighed myself today,
and I gained three pounds.

- Oh, you don't believe them
weighing machines, do you?

All they're good for is telling fortunes.

- [Eadie] Johnny, you better
start setting the table.

- Okay, Mother's here Eadie.

(bright quizzical music)

(Mother screaming)

- What, what?
- Johnny!

- (gasping) I thought it was a chair.

Aren't you gonna kiss me?

- Oh, well sure, Mrs. Horton.

- Oh, don't upset the head. (chuckling)

Right here, there, that's better.

And you can start calling
me Mother, you understand?

Bring me that package over there.

- Oh, all right.

- I brought your present to celebrate

your first home-cooked meal.

Go ahead, open it, go on.

Take out the cork, smell it.

- Oh my.

- Strong, huh?
- Yeah.

- You can't buy gin
like that in the stores.

I couldn't use the bathtub for three days.

- Well, you shouldn't
have bothered, I mean-

- Oh, it's no bother
where my baby's concerned.

And that goes for you too, Eadie.

Oh what a lovely claw.

(light quizzical music)

- Mother, would you
like to stay to dinner?

- Oh now, wait a minute.

I didn't bring you that bottle
just to get myself an invite.

- Oh no, I know you didn't.

- Thank you.

Well, what are you cooking?

- Scallopini.

- Ain't that funny, the way life works?

There I was, all dressed
up and no place to go.

- Wait a minute, Mother.

Didn't you tell me you had a date tonight?

- What's the matter, you jealous?

I walked out in that hall,

I took one whiff and I said to myself,

"Somebody's gonna have a
delicious dinner tonight."

(laughing) And that
somebody turns out to be me.

What kind of sauce you making with it?

- White wine.

- [Mother] Oh, I don't
think Johnny likes wine.

- Yes, I do.

- [Mother] Well, I never
seen your drink any.

- You never served any.

- [Mother] Oh there, you see?

You raise a boy till he's almost 40

and they still keep secrets.

- 38.

- I got another present for you,

a very special one, but I
don't wanna give it to you

until we're all comfy.

Now hurry up daughter and sit down,

because I'm very anxious to give you

your very special present.

Now sit down and I'll get it for you.

Now it ain't easy for me to give these up.

So if you don't want
them, you just say so,

and I'll take them right back.

(soft sentimental music)

- What is it?

- Johnny's baby curls.

- Oh.
- Mother.

- Now this is just
between me and your wife.

If you don't like it, don't look.

- Gee, they're soft.
- Oh yeah.

You know, they used to
come down to here on him.

Why, when I'd dress him up on a Sunday,

people used to come for
blocks just to look at him.

- Yeah, they wondered what I was.

- This was always my
favorite outfit for him.

- [Eadie] He must've looked cute in that.

- Oh Mother, let's put that away.

Come, let's do other things now.

Let's eat, I'm hungry.

- Now, I'll leave these here for you,

and you can look at them anytime you want.

- Mrs. Horton I really, honestly,

you shouldn't give this to me.

It means too much to you.

- No, no, no, this is a
wedding present, daughter.

I may be old, but I still
got my wits about me,

enough to know that I can't hold Johnny

for myself any longer.

So I want to be a real
friend, if you'll let me.

- Thanks.

(Mother crying)

(box thudding)

- I'm glad you did that, Mother.

Eadie was beginning to
think you didn't like her.

- Well whatever gave her that idea?

- Well, she hasn't seen much
of you these past few days.

- Well, it was not
because I didn't want to,

but between making that gin and
looking for a place to live,

I ain't had a minute to myself.

- What are you looking
for a place to live for?

- Oh, didn't I tell you?

Mrs. Collins' son came home from the army

on one of them three-day
passes and they want the room.

I've been out looking all day today,

but there ain't one to be
had for love and money.

And those that are vacant,

I wouldn't let a dog stay in them.

I thought for sure I'd
have one by tonight.

I even went up to the old
people's home in the Bronx,

but they ain't interested in transients.

I told him I stay for good if I liked it.

- Mother, you wouldn't do that.

- It ain't the worst place in the world.

Living by yourself in a little room

with nobody to talk to ain't much fun.

- Yeah, I know.

- They got a mixed crowd
up there, men and women.

Makes it a little gayer.

- You ain't going in any old
people's home, that's for sure.

- Well I ain't sure I can even get in.

It's very popular.

But they're expecting one
of their oldest customers

to go tonight, if she does, I get her bed.

- Mother, well go to a hotel.

There must be plenty of those around.

- Well, I ain't gonna pay
$10 a night for a room.

- You can get a cheaper room than that.

- Sure, I already looked at those.

Even the home is nicer.

- Okay, I'll go look for
something for you tomorrow.

You can stay here tonight.

- Here?
- Yeah.

I know it won't be comfortable,

but by the time we get through eating,

it'll be too late for
you to go out and look.

- Maybe Eadie won't like it.

- Well-

- Course it's only for one night.

I don't want to crowd you.

- No, you won't crowd us.

We're not even using your bedroom.

- You mean you're both
sleeping in your three-quarter?

I thought all this time
you were using my double.

- [Johnny] No, Eadie likes it that way.

- Well don't you have
anything to say about it?

- Uh-huh, I like it too.

And that's the way it is, Mother.

- I brought the salad and honey,

this is the special dressing
that I told you my mother-

- Oh, Johnny don't like dressing.

Just salt and pepper, lots of salt.

That's because he
perspires so much at work.

= Johnny, this is just oil and vinegar.

- It'll do you both good to do without it.

- Now Mother, let Eadie do it her way.

- Well don't you wanna know what he likes

and what he don't like?

- Yeah, anytime.

- Now you say she's not like
you, she wants to learn.

You should have seen the hard time

he gave me the night before last.

It took me two hours to talk
him out of buying that truck.

That was even after I showed him

how there's gonna be a depression and all.

- Well anyway, I bought it.

- You hot?

- Yep, I bought the truck.

It's sitting out there in
front of the house right now.

- What a fool thing to do.

There ain't no truck out there.

- What do you mean, there
ain't no truck out there?

What's that look like?

- Oh that, I thought
that was a fire engine.

Did you know he was gonna do this?

- Yes, I helped him picked it out.

- Have you got any
customers to go with it?

- [Johnny] I'll get some.

- Well, all right, what are
you gonna eat until then?

- I got a job.

- Yeah, well then you better hold onto it.

Oh, he's just like his father.

He got a couple of bucks in his pocket

and then had to burn a hole through it.

You had a good job, no
worries, no responsibilities.

- I like responsibilities.

- Well you got a wife, ain't that enough?

No offense meant, I just
wanna point out to him

that he's got to do one thing at a time.

- Mother-

- You can't run around like
a chicken without a head.

- I bought the truck, I bought
the truck and that ends it.

- That's sure does, but don't
you both come running to me

If you fall on your face.

The salad's ready.

- I'll serve it.

- No, no, no, no, no, I'll serve it.

I'm gonna serve you two

just like you was at the Waldorf.

And after we finish dinner,

you two kids can go to the
movies and I'll do the dishes.

- I can't go to the movies,
I have to go to work.

- Oh, well then Johnny and
me'll go to the movies.

Did you bring out any bowls?

Johnny can't have salad on his plate.

It turns his stomach.

- I, I told her she could
stay tonight, Eadie.

Mrs. Collins' son came home from the army.

They need the room.

Oh, please don't look way, Eadie.

What do you want me to do,
kick her in the street?

You said yourself, this is her house.

She doesn't wanna go to a
hotel, you know how she is.

She says she can't afford it.

Eadie, please don't be mad.

You don't know how it is.

There's certain things I can't tell her.

You don't know how it was,
the way she took care of us,

me and my sister, Eadie.

What do you want me to do?

I can't tell my own mother she can't stay

in her own house for one night.

- All right you kids, now dig in.

Oh, don't you wait for me, go on.

Did Johnny tell you
about me staying tonight?

- Yes he did, and we're glad to have you.

- I'm glad you're glad,

because I wouldn't want to
be in the way. (sighing)

Mmm, Eadie, you are a very good cook.

- Well thank you, Mother.

- This is the best meal
I've had in three days.

Could use a little dash of salt.

You ain't eating any bread.

You gotta watch him, or he forgets to eat.

It sure is nice of you to have me tonight.

Oh Eadie, this is delicious,
absolutely delicious.

You got any ketchup?

- No, I forgot to buy it.

- I always had it in the house.

Makes almost anything tastes better.

Not that your food needs
it, you understand.

Mustard?

Can you beat the nerve of
that son of Mrs. Collins,

coming home from the army
without even warning anybody?

And me out of my room for three weeks.

- You outta your room for three weeks?

(dramatic orchestral music)

(lively upbeat music)

Leave them Mother, I'll pick them up.

- I thought you were sleeping.

- No, I was just going over the accounts.

- It's a wonder you can stay awake at all,

with the hours you keep.

- What time is it?
- Half past 1:00.

- Oh, I better get started.

- Well where are you running to?

You got a half hour yet.

Johnny, how long do you think

you're gonna be able to keep this up?

Staying up half the night
waiting for her to come home,

working all day.

- Well, I'm not gonna go
out and let her come home

at night all by herself.

- Well I don't see her getting
up with you in the morning.

- Why should she?

- [Mother] Well, some wives
make their husbands breakfast.

- Well, I got you to do that.

- Yeah, well I ain't
gonna be around forever.

- Well, and Eadie ain't
gonna work forever.

- Johnny, you forgot your muffler.

- It ain't cold out.

- Do me a favor, wear your muffler.

- I don't want it.

- What do I have to do, beg you?

- No, you just have to
believe me, it ain't cold out.

- I tell you it is.

- And I say the radio says it ain't.

- Well, my word is as good as theirs,

and the radio ain't gonna take
care of you if you get sick.

You forgot your hat.

- I ain't gonna wear no hat.

- Oh Johnny, they'll think you're crazy.

Looking at you wearing
a muffler and no hat.

- Well then, I ain't
gonna wear no muffler.

- Johnny, you walk out of this
house dressed the way you are

and you don't have to kiss me
goodnight When you come home.

- Mother, get up.

All right, what do you want me to wear,

the muffler or the hat?

- I don't make any deals where
your health is concerned.

Don't be mad at your old
mother, she don't mean any harm.

- I ain't mad.

- Yes you are, I can see you are.

- All right then, I'm mad.

- I said I was sorry, didn't I?

What more can a person do?

Since you'll become a big shot,

I can't say a word around here.

I'm sorry I ever let myself
get talked into staying.

When I think of what a fool I was

to give up my life for my kids.

I coulda married again.

I coulda had a companion in my old age.

- You make it sound like I stopped you.

- Well who do you think stopped me,

except you and your sister?

How many men wanna marry a
woman with two small kids?

If I was like other mothers,
I woulda put you two kids

in a home someplace and
gone out and lived it up.

- Oh Mother, will you
stop aggravating yourself?

- A lot you care what happens to me.

I could be dying in this house

and you wouldn't give me a glass of water.

Well, pretty soon I'll be
moving back to Mrs. Collins,

and you'll have me off your hands.

- You don't wanna go back
there, do you Mother?

- Well, I ain't got any other choice.

You saw for yourself the kind
of places that are around.

- You'd rather stay here,
wouldn't you Mother?

- Well sure, I'm used
to it, I like it here.

It's got all my things.

- Sure has.

- If you are referring to those
things that Eadie brought,

they are too modern for this room.

Everything in here is period.

- Mother, what would you think of the idea

of me buying a house?

- A what?
- A house.

I was out there in Long Island

looking at the development today.

- Long Island, well that's full of swamps.

- When were you out there last?

- I don't know, about 15 years ago.

I almost got drowned in mud.

- Well, they got sidewalks now.

Them house are beautiful.

- A house, ain't you
got enough on your mind

taking care of your business?

- My business is doing pretty good.

I'm thinking of getting another truck.

- You ain't even paid for this one yet.

- Well, that's the way things are done

in this country, Mother.

Everything here operates on
credit, and a lot of nerve.

- Well, if all you need is
credit and plenty of nerve,

oh ho, you sure got plenty of that.

Well that's how they con you in.

They make it look easy in the beginning.

Like at the Faroe tables,
they'll let you win a little bit

so you'll keep on playing,
and then they deal you

a low card, and you give everything back.

- I don't agree with you all.

- You mean your wife don't.

Before she came, you never made a move

without asking me first.

Now you're pushing me out of
your life little by little.

Well, just like your older sister.

Sometimes she'll let a whole month go by

without even spending
a dime to call me up.

- I'll call you up, Mother,
no matter where I am.

- Yeah, I'll bet.

- Didn't I call you up that
time I was in the army,

all the way from Paris?

- Yeah, I was so excited

I could hardly hold the phone. (laughing)

- And all that perfume I bought you,

that Chanel Number Five.

I brought you a whole gallon bottle.

- And all that cognac, oh
that was real good stuff.

I never could make that
like I could make the gin.

- And them nightclubs we went to?

- [Mother] And all that champagne.

- Remember how we won a prize

as the best dancing couple on the floor?

- They were just being
nice to an old lady.

- No they weren't, they
thought you were my girl.

(Mother laughing)

And you know something
Mother, they were right.

(Mother laughing)

Eadie, listen, I was coming
down to get you, you're early.

- Just a little I, I
wasn't feeling very well.

- What happened, what's the matter?

- Oh I don't know, I think
I'm coming down with a cold.

- [Mother] Did you take anything for it?

- Yeah, a couple of aspirin.

- Oh, no you better get
undressed and get right into bed.

I'll fix you up some hot tea
and put a shot of gin in it.

That'll fix you up like new.

- I'll be all right, all I
need is a good night's sleep.

- Poor baby, you'll not
go into work tomorrow.

- Oh Johnny, you get the hot water bottle.

Now empty out the loose change
and fill it up with hot water

until you see the steam and shut it up.

- Okay.

- You're making a big fuss over nothing.

- What do you mean nothing?

If you don't catch these
things, they hang on all winter.

And I wanna take your temperature too.

So when you get in bed, I'll
rub you down with my snake oil.

Then you can wear my flannel
robe, it'll make you sweat.

- Mother, I really, I'll be
all right in the morning.

- Sure, if you do like I tell you tonight.

Now come on, start
taking off your clothes.

I'll put some clean linen on my bed.

- Why are you changing
the linen on your bed?

- Because you're gonna sleep there.

- Why can't I sleep in my bed?

- Well that's for Johnny.

I'll bunk out here on the couch.

- Why can't Johnny sleep with me?

- Because you've got a cold.

Now if you'd done like I wanted to

and let me put a cot in there,

we wouldn't be having this trouble.

- Here Mother.
- Oh, that's fine.

This'll warm up the sheets.

- Eadie?

- Johnny, put some hot
water on the stove to boil.

Now I'll get the thermometer

and bring you out my flannel robe.

- Just leave it to Mother,

she'll have you fixed up a no time.

- Yeah, I can see that.

- You tired?

- Up to here.

Gimme-

- No Johnny not, not now.

I just don't feel like it.

Flannel robes, a thermometer.

Oh my God, you know all I
said was I had the sniffles

and she's in there making
with an oxygen tent.

- Is something wrong, Eadie?

- Yeah, lots of things.

But they don't matter much when I see you.

You know Johnny, today is a special day.

- It sure is.

Brace yourself Eadie, I just
picked up a new account.

- Oh, Johnny, you only needed
one more to fill the week.

- And this was it.

- Oh, that's wonderful.

- Eadie?
- Yeah?

- Remember what you said?

All I had to do was
pick up another account

and you'd give up your job.

You gonna keep your promise?

- I already did.
- You did?

- I gave in my notice tonight,

- Even before you knew I got the account?

- 'Cause I knew you'd get it.

- Oh, oh Eadie, then I can't
hold out on you anymore.

You just close your eyes.

(drawer clattering)

Happy anniversary.

- Johnny, you remembered.

- Sure I remembered.

It ain't every guy that can
stay married for a whole month.

- What's in it?

- I don't know, it was just
something laying around

and I picked it up.

- Johnny, oh Johnny.

Oh Johnny, oh Johnny, Johnny.

Oh Johnny.
- You like it?

- Oh, it's the most
beautiful thing I ever saw.

- You sure are.

- Oh Johnny, you're the most
wonderful man a girl ever had.

Sit down, close your eyes.

(Johnny laughing)

Happy anniversary.
- What is it?

- Oh, it's just something
that I saw laying around,

so I picked it up.

- It's a watch.
- Yeah.

- Swiss.

- Johnny, there's something
written on the back.

- "To Johnny with love, Eadie."

- Yeah, I wanted to put a poem on,

but the jeweler said
there wasn't enough room.

- I thought it was a poem.

- Oh no, I didn't make it up.

- I thought you did.

- No, no they had one of those cards there

that said appropriate sayings.

I thought this was the nicest one.

- I think it's very original.

- Yeah? Well I think this is original.

Gee Johnny, this must have cost a fortune.

- No it didn't.

One of my new accounts,
he bought out a fur place,

they had six of those.

So he bought them, he sold it to me

for what it cost him, which was peanuts.

- Peanuts, you don't buy mink for peanuts.

- It ain't exactly mink.

- Oh.

- It's more what they call dyed muskrat.

It looks the same, but I think
the animals are different.

- Well, it's mink to me.

- Eadie?
- Yeah Johnny?

- Eadie, remember what you said,

now that you're gonna stay
home and give up your job.

You think?
- Yeah Johnny?

- Well, this cold you're talking about.

How do you know it's a cold?

- I think it's a cold.

My nose is running and I was dizzy.

- Yeah, that's what I mean.

Did you feel dizziness when
you got up this morning?

did you feel sick to your stomach?

- No, I felt fine.

Johnny. (laughing)

- I mean it could be, couldn't it?

That's the way it's
supposed to happen, I mean.

Getting dizzy and all that.

- Johnny, would you like it to be that?

- Yeah.
- So would I.

- You mean you're-

- Oh no, not yet.

That's, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.

Johnny, these things don't just happen

by themselves, you know and-

- It's all fixed up for you.

Well, what is this?

- Oh that, Johnny gave it to me.

- [Johnny] Yeah Ma,
and Eadie gave me this.

- What is it, a slave bracelet?

- No, it's a watch, what do you think?

- Oh, what's the occasion?

- It's our anniversary.

- Oh, I was wondering why you got

so good natured all of a sudden.

He gave me one of them too.

What'd you do, rob a bank?

Course mine ain't mink like that.

Here, I'll show it to you.

- No, no Mother please, not now.

Don't show it to her now, Mother.

Mother now wait, now
Mother please, you can,

I didn't wanna hurt our feelings.

- Why should you? It's
her anniversary too.

She's been with us a whole month.

- Here's mine, like I
say it ain't no mink,

but it's good enough for and old lady.

How do I look in it?
- Very nice.

- Maybe we can switch off sometime.

I'll wear yours and you wear mine.

- Anytime.
- Are you Crying?

- No I just have a cold, that's all.

- Oh you poor dear, you
could maybe be dying

and here I am standing around showing off.

Oh, come here and put this on.

Did you boil that water?

- No, no, I'll go do it now.

- No, no, no, never
mind, I'll do it myself.

♪ Oh my, I'm the queen of the May. ♪

(laughing) Oh gee, will you look at me?

Open up the couch.

- What do you wanna open up the couch for?

- Don't ask so many questions
and do as you're told.

- What does she want it open for?

- Don't you understand, Johnny?

She's going to sleep there.

I'm going to sleep in her room.

You're going to sleep in our room.

She just doesn't want
us to sleep together!

(dramatic orchestral music)

(tense orchestral music)

- She doesn't want us to sleep together?

That's too much.

(knuckles knocking)

Mother, come out of there, will you?

She won't come out of there.

- She can't come out of there.

- Why not?

- She's in the kitchen.
- Oh.

(knuckles knocking)

Mother, come out of there, will you?

- [Mother] Not now, I'm busy.

- She's busy.

You don't wanna come out of there,

why won't you come out?

- Well what are you yelling about?

It's 2:00 in the morning.

Mother, you ain't going
to sleep on no couch.

- [Mother] Oh now, what
are you worrying about?

I don't mind a bit.

- I mind, and Eadie ain't
gonna sleep on your bed.

She's gonna stay in our room.

- But she's got a cold.

- I know that, I'll sleep on the couch.

- Fine, I'll make the tea.

- What are you doing?

- I'm opening up the couch.

- Johnny, you're kidding
about this, ain't you?

- [Johnny] You got a cold.

- I got a whole bottle of vitamins.

I'll split them with you.

You coming with me?

We'll be very quiet, your
mother doesn't have to know

anything about it.

- I don't care if she knows or not.

- Then why are you sleeping here?

- [Johnny] I told you.

- I know you told me, but I
didn't understand your answer.

Johnny, why did you get married?

- What do you mean, why did I get married?

Why? The same reason
every guy gets married.

- And what is that?
- What?

- The reason every guy gets married.

- Now, there ain't any single one reason.

There were lots of them.

- Yeah, like what?

- Well, I can't just give
you a reason just like that.

- Well you take your
time, we got all night.

- Well maybe because a guy
doesn't like to be lonely.

- For that you got your mother.

- She ain't going to live forever.

- So what do you mean,

you're getting me ready to take her place?

- That's not what I said.

- Johnny, what are the other reasons?

- Another reason might
be because I love you.

- You also love your mother.

- You know it's not the same thing.

- No, I don't know.

From the way you've been acting lately,

I might just as well
be your mother, mother!

- Eadie, Eadie.

Eadie.

- Yeah, it's out, I said it.

- Eadie, I've been tired.

- You were never tired when
she was over at the Collins',

you couldn't wait for
me to get home at night.

- Gee, how can you compare, Eadie?

That was right after our honeymoon.

- Well what is this,
our golden anniversary?

Johnny. I'm a girl.

I can't lie next to you every night,

knowing that you're not going to touch me

because your mother's in the next room.

- Just because I sleep on
the couch for one night.

- No, it is not one night.

It's what's been happening up til now.

Her creeping into our room
at 4:00 in the morning.

- Well she only did it once.

- Twice.
- Okay, twice.

That don't mean she's
gonna keep on doing it.

- It don't mean she won't.

- [Johnny] She just came
in to see if everything,

if we were all right.

- If you were all right.

What does she think I'm gonna
do, murder you in your sleep?

Don't be too surprised
if she comes in one night

carrying her bed with her.

- I don't think that's very funny.

- I don't either, but it could happen.

- How?

- I don't know how.

How did she move in here?

She was supposed to be with Mrs. Collins

all the way across the hall.

- Well she did stay there, didn't she?

- For how long, three nights?
- Is that her fault?

How did she know Mrs. Collins' son

was gonna come home from
the army on furlough?

- Yeah, and when he goes back, then what?

- Then she'll go back
there and stay with her.

- Oh yeah, is that what she told you?

- She don't have to tell me, I know.

- Oh you do, huh?

Well, you hold onto your hat.

Mrs. Collins' son isn't on furlough.

He was discharged with what
they call a section eight,

and he ain't never going back.

- My mother never lies.

- He was in the club
tonight and he told me.

- Okay, he told you.

But I'm sure my mother didn't
know anything about it.

- You wanna bet? You wanna bet?

- [Mother] Tea, while it's nice and hot.

- I wanna ask you if something, Mother.

- Oh not now, I'm busy.

I'm giving you your medicine.

- Just a minute, Mother.

Did you know that Mrs. Collins' son

was home from the army for good?

- Yeah, ain't that a
terrible thing to happen

to such a nice boy, too.

- Why didn't you tell me?

- I would've, I would've told you,

only Mrs. Collins asked me to keep it

under my hat for a while,
she's very sensitive.

You can understand why.

- Why did you lie to me?

- Lie to you? I've never lied in my life.

Who told you I lied?

Oh, oh now I see.

Don't you pay no attention to her.

She's just trying to get you worked up

so you'll take a poke at her.

Then she'll show us for
every nickel we've got.

It's all your fault.

Before you came, he'd never
talked to me like that.

- Johnny, I am going to a hotel.

Now do you want to stay
with me or your mother?

- You know I do.
- What?

- Eadie, we're packing up
and we're moving to a hotel.

- [Mother] Why?

(cup shattering)

Am I in your way?

- Yeah, you are.

- Eadie, Eadie please.
- No Johnny, no Johnny.

She gets, she's in my
way and I'm in her way.

We're in each other's way.

- Well now we know where we stand.

You see, I was willing
to share you with her,

but you can see she don't wanna play fair.

- What do you mean by share?

- Exactly what I say, he's my son.

I brought him into this world.

I built him up, I made him
strong, I took care of him.

- So you brought them into the world.

So what, so what's the big deal?

- Wait til you have children of your own

and you'll find out.

- I may never have the chance.

- Now you see what kind
of person you married.

I nursed him, and not from
any of them cans, neither.

(door slamming)

Oh you poor baby.

Now you see what kind
of a person you married.

Well all I can say is, you can see that

we can't go on living
together under the same roof.

- You're right Mother, we can't.

We're gonna move, Mother.

- Move, what for?

- Like you said, we all can't stay

under the same roof together.

- Is that your choice?

- Yes, Mother.

- All right, I'll be
leaving in the morning.

I got a call today from
that old people's home

up in the Bronx.

That bed finally cleared. (crying)

(cabinet door slamming)

- What old people's home?

- That old people's home in the Bronx

I was telling you about.

- Yeah, what's the name of it?

- What was that?
- The name of it.

It's gotta have a name.

- Well of course it's got a name.

- Well, what is it?

- Well, how do I know?

Have I got nothing else on my
mind, but to remember names?

- Okay the address, what's the address?

What street is it on?

- Why are you asking
me all these questions?

- Because, there at three old
people's homes in the Bronx.

I called each and every one of them,

and they never heard of you.

- What have you been doing, spying on me?

- No Mother, I've been
doing a lot of thinking

these past few weeks.

- Well you shouldn't think
so much, it makes you bald.

- Well, I didn't bring up about the home

because I thought you were
gonna go back to Mrs. Collins.

You knew about her son
all along, didn't you?

Why did you lie to me?

- Because I wanted to spend
these years with my baby.

- I'm not your baby, mother.

I'm a grown man who's gonna
have children of his own soon.

(Mother crying)

Mother, get up.

- All right, I'll do anything you tell me.

Anything you tell me.

I'll stay out of your
way if you want me to.

Look, Eadie can put her
furniture back if she wants to.

Okay, Johnny?

Okay look, I'll go out
with the girls more often.

I'll play Mahjong two
nights a week, three.

You can wear your muffler
anytime you want to.

- I don't wanna wear my muffler.

- Okay Johnny, you don't have to wear it

if you don't want to.

You don't have to, it's
perfectly all right.

Look, I'll do anything you want me to.

If I ever get in your way
again, I'll tell you to leave.

I'll even tell you to go.

(Johnny sneezing)

There, you see now?

You're catching cold,
just like I told you.

I gotta get the hot
water bottle for you and-

- Mother, go to sleep.

- Oh sure Johnny, sure, I don't need-

- Now.

(papers rustling)

(knuckles rapping)

Eadie, Eadie can I come in?

Eadie, look under the door.

- What's this?

- [Johnny] Did you read it?

- Yeah so, what does it mean to me?

- [Johnny] It's our house, Eadie.

We're gonna live there,
just the two of us.

- Johnny.

Oh Johnny, there must be 500 houses here.

- Yeah, it's what they
call a housing development.

On Long Island, I was out
there looking at one today.

- It says, "Occupancy, 1965."

- No, no, no, that's not this.

Here's our house, I marked it with an X.

We can move in there
tomorrow if we want to.

- Johnny, are you telling me
you're gonna buy this house?

- Yeah, but you gotta go
down and sign the papers

because the house is
gonna be in your name.

- Oh, Johnny.

- Yeah, so we can move in
right away if you want to.

(kiss smacking)

- Johnny?
- Yeah?

= What about your mother?

- Oh, I didn't tell her we
were gonna buy the house.

I just told her we were moving.

So the worst part of it's over.

Then when we get out
there and get settled,

she can come out and have
dinner with us once in a while.

- You didn't tell her you
were gonna buy the house?

You mean we're gonna run away again

like we did when we got married.

- No, I was only trying
to do what's right, Eadie.

- No Johnny no, it's not right.

Now you gotta tell her
that this is my house,

and that she can't move in on
us again like she did before.

You gotta go out, and
you gotta tell her that.

- Oh, I'll do it later Eadie.

- No Johnny, you gotta do it now.

No, no, no, I wanna hear you do it.

I'm not doing this to be mean or spiteful.

I just gotta be sure this time.

- No Eadie, she's had enough
for one day, Eadie please.

- Johnny, you gotta tell her.
- No.

- All right, then I'll tell her.

- No.

- All right then Johnny,
here's your house.

You take it and you cut out paper dolls.

- I bought the house
and it's in your name.

What more proof do you want?

- I want proof that you're my man!

- Wait a minute.

I'm getting a little sick and tired

of being shoved around here.

What do you think you're doing?

Playing games with kids or something?

Everybody's giving orders
around here except me.

She pulls me that way,
you pull me this way.

You got no right to make me feel small.

I'm a man, do you understand?

You think it's been easy
for me having her around?

I haven't had a whole
night's sleep in three weeks!

You laying there next to me
and me laying there with you,

you with your eyes closed,

and me knowing that you weren't asleep.

I've got feelings too!

- Johnny, Johnny you, you're wonderful.

I'll go with you anywhere, Johnny.

To a hotel, our house, any place.

- What's the matter with
right here, right now?

Knock!
- But she's got a cold.

- Whatever she's got, I want it.

Here you are, Mother.

This is gonna be where we live.

You can come out and visit us.

Visiting hours 2:00 to 5:00, once a month.

(door slamming)

("Wedding March")

(light upbeat music)

("Here Comes the Bride")

(light upbeat music)
("Here Comes the Bride")

(bell chiming)