Lucy's Really Lost Moments (1956) - full transcript

The Chevrolet dealers all over
America

bring you direct from
Hollywood:

The Bob Hope Chevy Show

With these stars as guests.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

Vivian Vance.

William Frawley.

[ Applause ]

Thank you very, very much.

Well here I am. Back again.

I'll wait while you pay off
your bets.



No, I want to tell you it's
wonderful being back with

you folks again after being
away for so long.

And I mean that. I feel it
right here.

Sort of empty.

Any questions?

No this is my second year for
Chevrolet and

I'm proud to say that
Chevrolet is still number one

in the field of low priced
comedians.

It's nice to be back.

I guess I'm getting sentimental
but I was touched

by the wonderful reception I
got when I arrived in NBC this
afternoon.

The officials formed 2 rows
into the studio and

I walked between while the
team played hound dog.

And of course this season is on
Sunday nights.



We finally got permission from
Ed Sullivan.

He owns Sunday you know.

And tonight for the first time
we're going to show

you those beautiful brand new
1957 Chevrolets.

And I know you are going to
enjoy the opportunity

to see in 56, the 57s you'll
be paying for in 58.

[ Applause ]

If I can tell you...

Me too.

Oh this looks like a big year
on T.V. Walter Winchell

is on with a new show and it's
very good.

But one thing worries me: with
Winchell busy on

television and Ike out
campaigning who's running the
country?

Of course Sid Ceasar is back
with a new wife.

He has a used wife lot you know?

On his first show something
went wrong with

the picture and they didn't
know what the trouble

was until the found out the
coaxial cable

went through Nanette Fabray's
backyard.

I'll die with that joke.

I love it. I want to tell you
that.

And Steve Allen took on so many
shows

he has no privacy at all
anymore.

He's on the air so much he has
to raise

his hand when he wants to leave
the camera.

And of course Perry Como is
back. The old relaxisizer with
legs.

Oh I love the way Como works.

He's so relaxed, every
10 minutes they put

a mirror to his mouth to see
if he is still breathing.

And there is so much
competition.

The T.V. shows are still
fighting it out Ed Sullivan has
had

some big shows, but next week
he's going to top them all.

He's going to start a brush
fire on Alvin Presley's side
burns.

Oh, I love it.

Alvin Presleys.

I love that. To meet the
competition, Steve Allen is

having Anthony Eden doing a
mambo with Nasser.

And as an added attraction

they're flying in the Suez
canal I think.

How about that Suez canal.

I think Ike's going to do
something about that.

He's going to ask Stevenson to
step in it.

No, he's waiting for high tide

but I want to say one thing.

Boy they're really campaigning
aren't they.

And the things the candidates
say about

each other, why you'd think
they were actors.

I've never heard such words.

Nixon says every family will
have 2 cars,

3 tv sets, and only work 4 days
a week.

But Stevenson going him one
better: he's trying

to fix it so the replicans
won't have to work at all.

Now how about that?

How about that?

A four day week with 3 days
off?

Imagine 3 days of play time?

Our next secretary of labor
maybe Zsa Zsa Gabor.

And of course Ike is going on
T.V. a little more often

then he thought he would. He
had to do something.

A lot of kids were beginning to

think Walt Disney was president.

Now he's been doing a lot of
traveling too.

When he was in San Francisco he

stopped at the Saint Francis
Hotel.

And everybody was so thrilled
that President Eisenhower

was there but to show you how
politics works,

Ike suspected his hotel maid of
being a democrat, because

every time he came back to his
room he found his bed short

sheeted, a Stevenson button on
his pajamas

and a sign on his bathroom door
reading: enlisted men only.

And I thought it was nice when

Grace and the Prince visited
the white house the other day.

They had a little trouble
getting in

lately Ike is suspicious of
anyone coming in the

white house with suitcases but
they were real sweet.

And the prince was a little
surprised.

He thought the capital was in
Las Vegas.

Oh, Grace wants to meet
Stevenson too.

They have a lot in common. They
are both expecting.

And I think...

And I'm kind of thrilled
because Desi and Lucy

are paying me a great courtesy
coming on my show.

It's their first time on NBC.

Actually this is a swap.

I appeared on their first show
and they're here to get revenge.

You know I knew Lucy long
before Desi in fact I've

wondered if she'd married me
instead of Desi.

Let's see, huh?

I know one thing: she wouldn't
be doing

those crazy things if I were
her husband.

[ Applause ]

[ Phone ringing ]

Hello.

Hi Ethel, listen, I can't talk
to you now.

Ricky will be home any minute
and I have a seal in the
closet.

Lucy what are you up to?

Well I had a chance to get into
show business and I took it.

I'm an assistant in Captain
Blythestone's trained seal act.

I'll tell you all about it when
you come

home from the beach next week.

We are back. I'm down at the
corner delicatessen.

We'll be home in 5 minutes.

Oh but you can't come home.

Captain Blythestone is sleeping
in your bed.

Captain Blythestone?

What's a perfect stranger doing
in our bed?

Well, he isn't exactly perfect.

He's got a broken leg. He
slipped on a

flounder I threw the seal.

Listen, I gotta hang up now.

Just a minute, just a minute
Lucy.

You've got a seal in the closet
and

Captain Blythestone is in our
bed?

Where are Fred and I going to
sleep?

Don't bother me with your
problems.

I got troubles of my own.

What am I suppose to tell Fred?

Don't tell him anything.

Just come on up here and I'll
think of something.

-Okay. -Okay bye.

[ Seal barking ] Alright baby!
Mother's coming.

[ Seal barking ]

What do you got, a hollow
flipper?

Now don't eat too fast, I'm
tired of burping you.

Ricky! Baby!

Oh, honey, I'm so glad you're
home.

I missed you terribly today
darling.

The house was so lonesome
without you.

You're the most wonderful
husband in the whole world.

Did you miss me today Ricky?

See...

Wait a minute,

wait a minute, Lucy.

What have you done?

Who me?

Yeah. The last time you kissed
me like that you wrecked the car

The insurance company canceled

all my insurance on everything.

And you did my laundry in the
whirry mixer.

What are you talking about?

I give you a kiss everyday.

I know, but this is October.

You just kissed me all the way
through Lincolns birthday.

That's the way it is with you
hot blooded latins.

Yeah I guess so.

You're too suspicious.

Now I haven't done a thing.

Close the door!

I'm fumigating. We've got
termites.

Yeah, one of them must pitch
for Cleveland.

Well I have fan in there that
circulates the fumes.

See, we need an exterminator
dear.

Yeah, but why are you
fumigating the place?

That's the landloard's job.

Well, Fred and Ethel are away.
Just thought I'd help.

Oh you're always helping.

Like when we went on our
honeymoon.

You felt we'd be lonesome so
you invited your mother to come
along.

Well I was just trying to help.

Who were you helping? You're
father?

You have to right to pick on me
Ricky.

I only do things to please you
like

any normal American housewife.

Normal. Aye, aye, aye, aye!

Hey wait a minute. What is
this?

What are these Texas anchovies
doing here?

That's my first dividend.

I joined the herring of the
month club.

Oh that's good thinking.

On a dull night we can get
marinated together.

I gotta get some sleep.

I got a very important audition
tomorrow morning.

An audition?

Yes, I'm sort of
auditioning

for the Havan symphony
orchestra.

Oh honey how wonderful. Is it a
big orchestra?

100 pieces. 99 bongos and a
sweet potato.

Stupendo! I'll see you.

[ Door bell ringing ]

Oh Ethel, baby, let me help you.

Fred was going to carry one of
them but

he didn't want to throw me off
balance.

Well honey where is Fred?

He tipped the cab driver 10
cents by mistake

and he's trying to talk him out
of it.

Fred, I'm in here!

Coming.

Hi.

Well Fred,

I didn't recognize you. How
you've changed.

Yeah well it's the fresh air.
Makes you feel like a new man.

Well you look like a new man.
Took off a little weight.

Put on a little hair.

That's my Freddy! He's my
poopsie woopsie!

Hey you're right. He has
changed.

Alright break it up. Let's not
over do it.

Come on Ethel, let's go
upstairs.

No, no, wait don't go. Yeah
make some coffee.

We'll stay and have a cup of
coffee honey, huh?

While you're here don't you think you ought to give Ricky
back his

golf clubs and his tennis
racket?

After all he was nice enough to
lone them to you.

Big deal. I couldn't play.

He didn't leave me any balls.

That's very gay.

You just returning from a
wetback luau?

They'll never let him in.

-Hey, hi Ethel.
-Hi.

They're fumigating the closet
you know.

Yeah what is that...

Don't worry about a thing.

Say how come you came back so
soon?

I thought you were going to
spend another week at the
beach.

Well we were but the grunyon
stopped

running so we didn't have
anything to eat.

No, the grunyon was not stopped
running.

I was just tired of finding a
pelican for my breakfast
everyday.

You did what?

I was just tired of finding a
pelican for breakfast everyday.

They did not stop running.

You're trying to tell me
something.

Come on Ethel.

Let's get out of here before I
lose my entire temper.

Lose that accent too.

Oh Fred! Lucy!

Don't go. While we're all here
why don't we play charades.

Charades? Lucy I'm getting into
bed.

You get into bed and we'll try
to guess what you are.

Lucy, Lucy, I've got to get
some sleep honey.

I've got an audition tomorrow,
and you invited you're

friends in the middle of the
night to play games?

What do you think I am?

Don't tell me. Don't tell me.

Uh, uh, beast from hollow
mountain!

I feel sorry for you.

I feel sorry for me too.

Come on Ethel, let's go
upstairs.

Oh no you can't go upstairs.

Why not?

Why not...

-Why Lucy? -
Uh.

Lucy, what have you done now?

Well I was only trying to
surprise him with a ilttle
anniversary present.

Oh, an anniversary present?
What is it?

I had your apartment fumigated.

Fumigated?

Yeah and it has to stay closed
up till all the termites are
gone.

Well that's my wife.

Well it
could be worse.

She could be my wife.

Yeah...

[ Knocking above ] Don't look
now but I think

one of your termites has got a
wooden leg.

What is that?

-The building settling.
-Settling?

This building is 40 years old.

I'm going to go upstairs.

Oh no, now relax Fred.

There might be a man upstairs!

Oh don't be silly. If there was
man up there I'd go up.

Lucy, let's get some sleep.

Maybe we're keeping our guests
from leaving.

Well they're staying here.

Staying here? What's wrong with
a hotel?

Yeah, what's wrong with a hotel?

Hotels cost money.

Yeah, what's wrong with here?

I don't know how he does it,
but he's

got the first dollar he ever
spent.

Well you can fight it out, I've
got to get some sleep.

Well no, no, Ethel and I are
sleeping in there.

This is the boys room. Come on
Ethel Dear.

Okay.

Wait a minute, Ethel. Wait a
minute honey.

Don't you want to sleep here
with your husband?

Well, uh...

No, she doesn't!

How do you like that?

I marry Lucy and wind up with
Desi.

One course of babaloo and out
you go.

[ Speaking Spanish ]

Careful, I have friends in the
immigration department.

[ Seal barking ]

Hey you got to do something
about those sinuses.

That sounded like Ethel.

Say uh, you got an extra pair
of pajamas sport?

Yeah, in the closet. Gracias.

Gracias to you too.

Should have never left...

Are you asleep?

No, I'm awake.

Your eyes are closed.

No, they're open, I just got
the lids over them.

Keeps my eyeballs from getting
dusty.

What do you want from me?

Well Ethel said she couldn't
fall asleep without a little
bite?

Well if you think I'm going to
get up and bite her you're
crazy.

[ Giggling ]

Ah you little devil, you
followed me in there didn't you?

What are you talking about?

I didn't follow you in there.

-You didn't?
-No, I didn't.

Well somebody bit me on the
back of my

neck and it was wearing your
perfume.

Lucy what's going on here?

Don't open the closet!

Don't! Hey!

What is that?

It's a beach ball
for the little girl next door.

Who's the little girl? Sophie
Tucker?

Help me get it in here. Put it
in here.

-Hey, what's this?
-Never mind that dear.

Just leave that in there.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

What is this?

-Just leave it there.
-What is that?!

Look what I found.

Uh, what is it?

Yeah. Uh, it's a uh, it's a

drama-zoola-xyla-phona-avich.

Don't tell me you play that
thing.

Well I have taken a few
lessons, yes.

Who from? A seal?

Yeah. I took lessons from a
seal.

Let's hear you play it.

Oh, you don't want to here me
play it tonight.

I don't got my music or
anything.

Go ahead, fake it!

No, you don't want to hear me
play, do you Ethel?

Uh-huh.

-Come on.
-Alright.

[ Horns honking ]

[ Barks like seal ]

Hey! What's going on?!

How do you expect me to sleep
up

there with all this racket
going on?

Well I'm terribly sorry. I'm
getting out of here.

[ Seal barking ]

Come on Tommy.

Come on baby.

Lucy did you see what came out
of that closet?

What was that?

Well I forgot to introduce you.

That's my music teacher.

[ Horn blowing ]

Yes, this is just a reminder
folks that happy new year 1957

has arrived at your Chevrolet
dealers.

The 57 Chey is there in all
its glory so go see it.

Get the full story of Chevy's
history making

fuel injection and turbo glide.

Learn what the word smooth
really means.

And I say thanks for the memory.

Now it's time to say tomorrow
is the day.

To go approve the sweet and
smooth and sassy Chevrolet.

We thank you so much.

Oh, and by the way we're going
to be in Dallas Texas

on October the 28th to play in
a golf match for United

Cerebral Pulsy.

My playing partners down there
are

going to be Doctor Cary
Middlecoff, the open champion,
Governor Shivers of Texas,

that great all american
football star, Dope Walker,

and of course the great Yankee
slugger, Mickey Mantle.

Will be there to show you how
he

can hit a ball out of site.
Golf ball that is.

We know about the other.

We'll all be looking for you in
Dallas on October the 28th.

At the river lake country club
for the United Cerebral Palsy
Fund.

I'll be back Sunday Novermber
the 18th, the same time from

New York with Perry Como.
Goodnight folks.

And lots of happy new years in
your 57 Chevys.

Thank you very much.

The Bob Hope Chevy Show has
been brought to you by your

authorized Chevrolet dealer who
invites you to

see the all new 1957 Chevrolet
now.

This is the main studio of
Desilu productions.

Just behind this door,

is the office of the president
of Desilu Productions.

And here seated at his desk we
find the boss.

Uh, correction. This is the
boss' boss.

The vice president of Desilu
Productions.

-Oh hi dear. -Hi honey.

[ Knocks at desk ]

Mind if I sit down?

Oh, would you sit over there
dear I'm busy.

Just a minute...

This is my desk. It says here,
president.

Well, if you want to get
technical.

Now will you sit over there?

What are you doing that is so
important.

Well I'm making a list of the
appliances

I'll need for my new dressing
room.

Now look Lucy, I thought we
discussed this at breakfast

and decided to let these
things go till later.

Oh, I know we did dear.

Well?

Well that was at breakfast.

It's now 3 hours later.

You know at the rate you're
going,

it's going to cost more to fix
your dressing room

than it did to buy the whole
studio.

Oh come now.

All I need is a few gadgets
for the kitchen,

a couple of things for the
sitting room.

and our sponsor seems to have

the best line at the lowest
prices.

Where did you get this
Westing-gouse catalog?

Westing-gouse?

Look it's not Westing-gouse.

It's Westing-house. House!

No, dear. Westing-gouse.
Gouse!

How do you pronounce
W-E-S-T-I-N-G?

-Westing. -Right.

H-O-U-S-E?

House.

Fine now put them together.

Westing-gouse.

This is the first time two
rights made a wrong.

Look Lucy, it just so happens

that I studied English grammar
in Cuba.

[ Claps ] No.

Let 'splain something.

'Splain, 'splain. Please
'splain.

When the G is followed by a
H-O,

like in G-H-O-S-T.

Ghost. G-H-O. You say go!

There is no H.

Well if you keep calling it

Westing-gouse there will be
plenty of H.

I am telling you it is
pronounced Westing-gouse.

I suppose the people who've
been doing their T.V.

commercials all these years
have been wrong, huh?

Well, in this particular case,
I'm speaking better

English than Betty Furness and
John Cameron Swayze.

How you ever got to be
president I will never know.

Nevermind that. Where did you
get this?

From Mr. Hayden, our
Westing...

our dealer in Beverly Hills.

Then just give it back to him.

Better yet, I'll give it back
to him when he comes in.

Oh, is Mr. Hayden coming here?

-Yeah. -Oh!

Desi!

What's that for?

You were going to older all
those new appliances

and surprise me.

Look honey, I am taking Mr.
Hayden on a tour of all the
studios.

And I'm going to tell him all

about Westing-gouse Desilu
Playhouse.

So that he and all

the fellas at Westing-gouse
will know what

we're going to do to help them
sell the product.

What kind of a surprise is
that?

I didn't say I was going to
surprise you.

Well, alright, when you and I
take

Mr. Hayden on a tour of our
studios, I'll give him my order
then.

You know I do have a surprise
for you.

Really, what?

You are not going on a tour of
the studios.

Why not?

Because I told you will have
to wait till later to get

your Westing-gouse appliances.
That's why not.

Well couldn't I just tell him
which

ones I want and buy them
later?

Not gunna do it. I do not
trust you.

Some organization.

The president doesn't trust
the vice president.

And how'd you get to be
president anyway?

I was elected.

-By whom? -By me.

Now look honey, if you just be
patient you'll get all the

Westing-gouse appliances that
you need for your

dressing room, but right now
why don't you go

to lunch and take the
afternoon off like a nice
little girl.

[ Phone rings] Hello?

Mr. Hayden? Oh yes. Send him
right in.

Mr. Hayden?

Well at least I'll get a
chance to say hello to him.

Hello. Goodbye. And that is
all.

Oh, hi.

Hello Mr. Hayden. You know my
wife.

Yes, we had quite a chat about

some appliances for her
dressing room.

Hello and goodbye.

Mr. Hayden, Lucy won't be able
to go with us on the studio
tour.

She has a lunch and
appointment.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I could break it.

Goodbye dear.

Why don't you come down to my
store tomorrow

and place your order there?

-Goodbye honey. -Bye...

I just hate goodbyes, don't
you?

Unless of course the goodbyes

are the kind on those
wonderful Westinghouse
appliances.

-Adios. -Adios.

We decided to wait a little
while on the appliances.

He decided. I didn't. See he's
the president.

I understand.

Well whenever you are ready
Mrs. Arnaz we

have some wonderful things for
you.

And we have some wonderful
things for you

and all your Westing-gouse
dealers too,

in our new Westing-gouse
Desilu Playhouse for the fall.

He means Westinghouse.

-Adios. -Adios.

I just want to stay 2 more
minutes.

I just want to take another
look at the catalog book

before you have to give it
back to Mr. Hayden.

I won't say a word.

-Won't you sit down? -Yes.

I'm real anxious to hear about
the Playhouse.

Those Westinghouse television
shows

in the past have been a great
thing for

our business.

Oh you mean shows like Studio

and the political conventions,
election returns stuff like
that?

Yeah. And the college and pro
football telecasts.

Best of broadway.

That was one of the first
color T.V. series.

Oh, well you know those shows
have been great alright.

We just hope that our series
will be the best yet.

We like to do the kind of
shows

for you fellas that we have
found to

be the most successful in the
past.

You know, shows that, well
that deal with real people.

And real stories.

People that you like to
identify yourself with.

We like to mix them up a
little bit.

You know a good melodrama. A
good suspense show.

A real good western.

With a, you know with a good
basic dramatic story with it.

A comedy. A comedy you know.

Shows that you're gunna watch
with your whole family.

And watch week after week.
Shows that will uh...

Pick up more dirt faster than
anything else.

Oh, sorry. I was just reading
about

the all new Westinghouse
mobile speed vacuum cleaner.

It's a dilly.

Is that right? Wow.

And you know something
wonderful has happened

since we announced this
Westing-gouse Desilu Playhouse

for next fall.

We have a great amount of
creative talent here at Desilu,

but since we made the
announcement,

all the other wonderful people
around town have been

calling us wanting to join the
team, you know.

People like uh, well, writers
like Aaron Spelling, and Rod
Serling,

and Adrians Spies. Carson
Canon.

So that we're lining up quite
a team for you.

First like I told you is going
to be Bernadette.

And that was going to be
written by

gal by the name of Ludi Claire
who

did a wonderful job on Bridge
of St Luis Rey.

So that uh, with this creative
talent and with

biggest stars in show business
to uh...

Wash rinse and dry your
dishes.

Lucy!

Say this Westinghouse dish
washer's pretty exciting.

What about the Luci-Desi hour
shows?

Will that be part of the
Playhouse?

Oh you bet. Sure.

You know during the year we
would do about 7 big special
shows.

As a matter of fact, we open
the season in October.

That's the one that Maurice
Chevalier is in.

Hey, will the Mertz's be in
it?

[ Laughs ] We wouldn't do a
show without the Mertz's.

Or Little Ricky.

And of course I'll be on hand
every week

to produce the show and also
to be your host.

Sounds like you're going to be
pretty busy.

No busier than you
Westinghouse we hope.

How can we miss?

I happen to know that your 5
Luci-Desi shows last season

got the 5 biggest ratings of
the year.

Averaging over 50 million
viewers a show.

That's money in the bank for
us.

Well and I think that the
Playhouses will attract the

big audience every week too
because well,

like Westinghouse we know
we've

got a good product that the
people will like to buy.

Say I hope you don't mind my
asking

about the commercials but you
know they're

important to us fellas.

Oh I know. I know.

And we thought about them a
lot too.

You see in our shows, uh, it
will be only

Betty Furness doing the
commercials, ya know?

Lucy and I will be selling all
the

different things Westinghouse
makes.

Yes we want everybody in the
country

to know what a wonderful
company Westinghouse is.

That's right.

You know I don't know if you
know this

but a few months ago I took a
tour of all the

Westing-gouse plants
throughout the country.

And I never realised what a
really tremendous offer this
is.

You know, how many great
things they do for American
business.

You know to help make American
the great country that America
is.

I mean, things that the
industry of America needs.

And on our show, we know we
are

going to be talking to all
kinds of people.

To company presidents, to
purchasing agencies.

To people in government.

And we are going to be talking
to them right in their home.

That's where John Cameron
Swayze comes in.

Oh by the way 3 out of 4
commercials will feature

the electric appliances that
you sell Mr. Hayden.

I'll bet John Cameron Swazey
and

Betty Furness have
Westinghouse

appliances in their dressing
rooms.

Isn't it time for you to go to
lunch.

If I had a Westinghouse
electric

range in my dressing room I
wouldn't have to go to lunch.

Lucy!

And, you won't be needing that
dear.

Oh she can keep that if she
likes.

Thanks but by the time he lets
me

buy anything, the 1961 catalog
will be out.

-Hi. -Oh, hi.

Hello, how are you? Vivian
Vance and Bill Frawley.

I would like you to meet Mr.
Hayden.

He's a Westing-gouse dealer.
One of our sponsors.

-Hi boss. -How do you do?

I'm out in Beverly Hills.

Oh that's nice. I'll drop by
and see you.

Desi we just stopped by to see
if you

and Lucy would like to join us
for lunch.

We're going over to the
commisary.

Well I can't go, I have to
take

Mr. Hayden on a tour of the
studios but Lucy can.

Here Bill...

Oh, no, no, no you don't. This
is my treat.

Fred Mertz might be a tight
wad but not Bill Frawley.

Oh, well in that case Bill
we'll go to Romanoff.

Romanoff?!

Okay Fred Mertz, we'll go to
the commissary.

We better get going.

The helicopter is waiting in
the parking lot.

Helicopter?

Oh, yeah. I want you to get a

birds-eye view of all the
Desilu studios.

See you later.

Bye.

Adios.

Let's eat. I'm starved.

Okay Ethel.

The name is Vivian.

The name may be Vivan, but the
appetite is Ethel.

You coming Lucy?

Yeah but let's eat in a hurry.

I have a lot a business to
transact with

Mr. Hayden and I need you two
to help me.

What business? Westinghouse
business for my new dressing
room.

Is this a plot to put
something over on Desi?

Well...

As Betty Furness would say,

"You can be sure if it's
Lucy."

[ Laughs ]

Well there she is Mr. Hayden.
Desilu tower.

Didn't that used to be RKO?

That's right Mr. Hayden.

They made a lot of great
pictures down there.

And you know when we bought it
we not only got all

the buildings and the sound
stages,

we acquired millions of feet
of stock film suitable for

back grounds in our television
shows.

Plus a huge property
department and sets and

costumes, well.

Well, all kind of assets
that'll give our Westing-gouse

Desilu Playhouse great
production values.

Why don't we go over and take
a look at motion picture
center.

It's just a few blocks away.

There it is. There is where we
make

the I Love Lucy shows which
were filmed in front

of live audiences.

You see most of those sound
stages are equipped with seats

for just that purpose.

And we plan to do our Lucy
specials over there, see?

And if you or any of the other
dealers want to see our

show being filmed we'll have
to have you.

Thanks. I'll take you up on
that.

Now what do you say we swing
on over to Desilu Culver?

See that's Desilu Culver,
which includes our huge
back-lot known as 40 acres.

For obvious reasons.

You call it 40 acres because
it is 40 acres.

[ Laughs ]

All that stuff is for
exteriors, you know, outdoor
action stuff.

Right now we're building a
whole village down there.

A whole western town.

That looks enormous!

Well to give you an idea how
big it is,

that's where they made Gone
With the Wind.

You know one thing is sure,
you're not gunna be cramped
with space.

No sir.

Not with 35 sound stages and 3
studios.

You know we are going to
really

try and do a good job for you
fellas.

What do you say we go back to
Desilu

tower and continue the tour?

Hi. What are you 2 doing here?

Oh, we didn't have anything to
do after lunch

so we thought we'd go on the
rest

of the tour with you and Mr.
Hayden.

Oh good. Where's Lucy?

Oh she had things to do.

Good.

Desi could we talk to you
privately for a second please?

Sure. Excuse me.

Now, I want one of these.

Uh-huh.

And one of these in lemon
yellow.

And both of these.

Later.

Oh, you know him?

Him? Oh, uh...

He's one of my old costumers.

Oh, is that so?

Well come on, I'll show you
the inside of the studios.

See, here's the set we're just
getting

ready for Bernadette. The
Miracle of Bernadette.

That's going to be one of your
shows.

It's got a wonderful cast,
headed by Pier Angeli.

Oh, she's wonderful.

Oh, Desi, could I see you for
a minute?

What for dear?

I have an interesting idea I'd
like to talk over with you.

The painter on the ladder.

Oh, it's alright. It's me,
Mrs. Arnaz.

Oh. Uh. We left off on page 11
I think.

Yes.

I want one of those with all
the attachments.

Uh-huh.

And one of these but the
portable one.

Shh... They're coming back.

You crazy?

Well now Desi...

Oh for goodness sake.

What's a matter?

Vivan wants to play
Bernadette.

That would be a miracle.

Come on, I want to show you
the Mexican set.

Okay. See you later.

You know him too?

Oh sure. Another one of my old
costumers.

Oh. Isn't that nice.

I'm glad to see our employees

are partial to Westinghouse
products.

You know if I didn't know I
was in

Hollywood I would swear I was
in Mexico.

Well you know in a way you
are.

This is a reproduction of a
Tijuana street

we are using in our first
Lusi-Desi hour.

The one Maurice Chavallier is
in.

Oh, don't let me forget let me
show

you a film clip of
Chevallier's numbers.

[ Bell rings ]

Man: Alright, quiet please.
Quiet everybody.

There going to shoot a scene
right now.

We can watch it.

Action!

[ Crowd yelling ]

[ Car horns honking ]

[ Yelling in spanish ]

[ Blowing whistle ]

Man: Cut it and print it.

Looks like it's going to be a
great show.

Oh I hope so.

You know Mr. Hayden another
special feature for you fellows

every one of the Luci-Desi
shows

is going to have dealer
promotion theme.

Like for example this one the
theme is fiesta.

To tie in with the commercials
ya know?

And all the dealers will be
getting

fiesta merchandise stuff. And
local ads.

And point of sale merchandise.
You know, stuff like this.

And many of our shows will

also have a special product
promotion.

Oh, sounds like Westinghouse
is going all out.

Well, this is a partnership
deal.

We're both going all out.

Oh, Des, could I see you over
here for a minute.

Excuse me will you.

Sure.

-Yes? -I want to ask you
about...

[ Knocks on glass ]

You want one of those?

Television set? This one?

Not that small? A big one?

What size screen? What size
screen?!

Oh, 21 inch?

I don't know what's gotten in
to you two.

Now he wants to take the part
of Betty Furness in the first
show.

Come on. I'll show you a lot
of other things around here.

Boy this is really something.

You got enough stuff in here
to fill a museum.

This is the prop building I
was telling you about.

We've got three floors just
like this.

Their full of every
conceivable kind of prop you
can think of.

Course what we don't have our
crews can build.

Recognize this little fella?

No, who is it? One of your
relatives?

[ Laughs ]

This happens to be the star of
one of

the most famous pictures ever
made. King Kong.

That little thing? Your
Kidding.

Nope. That's right.

This is the original King
Kong.

Looks different than when he
was standing on top of the
Empire State Building.

Doesn't he?

You see that's what they do
with special effects.

And we intend to use a lot of
special effects to

heighten the dramatic values
of our productions.

Now, uh, over here...

Desi! Uh, uh...

Could Bill see you about
something.

-Now what? -Confidential.

Excuse me. Look around.

Remember me? Mrs. Arnaz.

Oh, I should have known.
Something else you need?

No, I just want to found out
about delivery.

How about Thursday?

Thursday?! I need them today.

Well if i can get away long
enough

to place a rush order I guess
we could...

Shh! Cheese it!

That's the silliest thing I've
ever heard.

Making a lamp out of King
Kong?

Well we just thought...

Nevermind!

Don't tell me he's one of your
costumers.

Oh, no, no.

I was just thinking that if we
can

sell to gorillas we can expand
the market.

Oh.

[ Laughs ] Expand the market.

Very funny.

Look I wanted to show you a
preview of our first show but

the film won't be ready till 5
o'clock.

That'll work out just fine.

You see I have special rush
order

to take of and well I'll meet
you back here.

Good. My office at 5 o'clock
right?

Right. See you then.

You know I must say you are
doing everything

possible to help us get
costumers into our stores.

Well we're going to do even
more than that.

You remember George Murphy?

The actor? Sure. He's one of
my costumers.

That right?

Well George is one of our vice
presidents here at Desilu.

He's vice president in charge
of public affairs.

And he's going to a good will
ambassador for you fellows.

He's going to go to all the
Westing-gouse gatherings

all over the country to help
push your products

whenever and wherever he can.

Can't ask for more than that.
Desi, it's been wonderful.

I want to thank you for
showing me around.

Oh, it's been a pleasure. I'm
glad you could come over.

Oh, listen, uh, I'd like to
stop by Lucy's dressing room
before you...

Her dressing room?

Yes.

Look, uh, it's a little bit
late.

I think I'd better get back to
the store.

I want you to see it so you
know what it

needs when we are ready to
place the other.

Really Desi. I won't have
time.

It will only take a minute.

It's right around the corner
from my office. Come on.

Here we are. This is Lucy's
dressing room here.

Is Lucy here?

Lucy? No, she's not in there.

Oh, good.

Then she won't bother Mr.
Hayden while I...

Oh, Lucy! Oh...

Yeah, she's in there.

Better not go in.

Some other time.

No, as long shes here we'll go
in now.

Uh, Desi, she's dressing.

Oh, excuse me a minute.

[ Knocks at door] Lucy?

It's me.

[ Knocks louder ] Lucy?!

Open up!

It's the president!

What's going on here?

Everybody crazy or something?

Lucy?! Lucy?!

Lucy!

Lucy!

You get out of here right
away! You get out! Come on out!

I can't. I'm not dry yet.

Lucy, what is the meaning of
this?!

I'm just trying to show good
faith

in our new sponsors,
Westing-gouse.

I mean West... Oh you got me
doing it!

[ Shouting in Spanish ]

Well, we'll see you in October
folks.

If she's dry by then.

Name is Lucille Ball and
I've got a secret.

Thank you. Good evening.

Welcome to another edition of
I've got a secret.

Before we get officially on the way, I wouldpplike you

to meet the members of our
panel:

Bill Cullen is on vacation this
week the lucky stiff.

But we're lucky too because in
his place

we have good friend Johnny
Carson. How are you Johnny?

Next to John is Betsy Palmer.
And comes Henry Morgan.

And Beth Myers. And that's our
group.

It is time for us to meet a
really special guest.

One of Hollywoods most
successful movie actresses.

Certainly televisions most
successful comedian.

And now she's doing it all over
again right here on broadway

where she is currently starting
in the hit musical, wild cat.

We are grateful to say here is
Lucille Ball.

Lucy!

Anybody upstairs?

-Huh?
-Anybody upstairs?

Yeah, yeah.

Lucy. You've been away too
long. They miss you.

Thank you.

Lucille, the first thing
everyone said when they found
out

you were going to be on our
show tonight was:

Let's get Lucy to do some
imitations and some mimicry

because that's the kind of
thing that everybody loves.

-You clowning around.
-Well, I...

Rather enjoy doing it
sometimes.

Don't worry. I said no because I said itppisn't fair to make Lucille Ball

work as hard as she's working
on Wildcat to come

out here and work hard on our
show.

Thank you.

I said let them panel do all
the work.

-Oh bless you.
-Aren't I nice?

Now you're secret will be that
you're

trying to get the panel to
imitate you.

This way I don't have to work,
huh?

You don't have to do any work
at all.

We do this through the power of
suggestion you see.

We do?

You do.

It's a psychological fact that
you can get people to do things

without there even knowing
there being urged to do it.

I believe that most emotions
and moods are contagious.

Hm-hm. Tell me more.

Well alright. Here's what
happens.

Suppose you get excited with
one of our

panelists when they're
questioning you.

I bet they'll get excited right
back without even realizing it.

If you're said, they'll get
sad.

You think so, really?

I'm sure. All you have to get
them to do

to get them to imitate you is
to answer questions

with different emotions and
they'll follow along like sheep.

You want a bunch of sheep
running around here, huh?

If anything, I guess.

So I happen to have here a
little list of different
emotions.

Excited, happy, dignified,
sad, nervous.

All you have to do Is change
from those from time to time

while you're questioning and
watch the panel.

They'll do just as you do.

I'll bet ya.

Can we have the panel back in
please?

How do you do what you do?

What
do you mean?

Having time to visit with us
while you're swinging

that wild show down the street.

Well we have an hour here and
there.

But we're so grateful to you.

Thank you Gary.

Alright panel. You know Lucy
Ball.

If you don't you've missed a
great deal in your life.

Hi Lucy.

The clue to her secret concerns
something that she's doing.

And uh, who shall we start
with?

Uh, Betsy.

Let's start with Betsy.

-Are you doing it now Lucy?
-What?

-Are you doing it now?
-Doing what?

-Whatever you're doing.
-I don't understand.

The question is that something

you're doing is that your
secret.

I can't here you Betty.

Something you're doing is your
secret.

-Yeah, ask me.
-You're doing
something to me.

Alright, there is something
you're doing is physical.

Oh yes, slightly.

Is it.. What?!

Is it something... You're not
listening?

Yes, I am! Yes, I am!

Is it something that you're
going to

involve any of us here on the
panel.

Oh I do hope so.

Is it going to involve the boys
more than the girls?

-I don't think so.
-You're not doing it now?

-Yes I am Betsy.
-Are you?

- You're being breathy?
-No.

You're learning projection? [
Laughs ]

Is that it?

Now you're learning how to
laugh.

Oh, no.

Nobody has to teach you.

That's
delightful.

It wasn't that good. [ Both
laugh ]

You're trying to make me do
whatever you're doing.

What, what, what?

[ Buzzer ]

No, no, no.

Let's go to our next
contestant.

Let's go from Betsy Palmer to
Henry Morgan.

This thing you're doing, does
it make you happy?

I beg your pardon Henry.

Am I coming in over there?

Yes sir.

Are you changing
character

independent of what the
questions are?

Not necessarily sir, no.

Do you have preconceived plot?

Shh...

[ Gibberish ]

See I forgot the next question.

Are you, uhm, adopting an
attitude, I asked that.

Does anything that we say have
any effect whatsoever on you?

Occasionally but not tonight.

Should I come back another
night

and ask another series of
questions?

Oh Henry.

You're mad at me. You're hurt.
You're displeased.

No.

-You're offended.
-No.

I did something wrong? You did
something wrong?

-No.
-Gary keep out of this.

-Are you deppressed?
-Slightly, yes.

What did I do?

Oh, that's marvelous. That's
marvelous.

See? And so we turn our
attention

please to Beth Myers. [
Laughing ]

Do you feel better/

Not really, no.

I don't know how to talk to
Beth.

Beth's a person to know.

Do you feel better Lucy?

-What?
-Do you feel better?

Uh, better?

I don't know whether I feel
better or not.

I remember our last meeting.

Are you happier?

What?

Why does Henry upset you?

-Henry didn't upset me.
-No?

Does he always upset you?

-It's just something he said.
-What did he say?

What did he say?

Well, uh...

I'd rather not go into it right
now, really, Beth.

Is there anything happening...

What was that Beth?

Are you what? Uh, uh, uh...

Is there anything happening
behind us?

I hope not.

I think we call that one
kind-of.

And we go on now to Johnny
Carson please.

Well I got a question for you!

-Yes, John.
-Yes, John.

[ Laughs ]

[ Carson Speaking spanish ]

Huh?

You're reacting differently to
each one of us.

She didn't look at me like
that.

Neither did Gary.

I didn't mean
to be looking that way.

Henry made you sad. Betsy made
you...

Johnny! Are you married?

Are you?

My story's the same as
yours.

No I wasn't married to Desi
Arnaz!

[ Laughs ]

One more question John.

John, you have time for one
more question.

Uh.

Did you have a belt before you
came on?

No Johnny.

We have lost the whole thing.

As a matter of fact

for one of the 2 or 3 times, in
the 8 years of I've got a secret

I cheated the panel.

Somebody guessed it early when
they said are trying to

make us react in the same mood
that

you're acting and that was the
answer

but I didn't want to blow the
whole rest of thing with

Lucille Ball so I lied to you.

Boldly lied and said no.

But it was marvelous because
you did exactly the same way.

I never thought Henry would
come through like that.

He's a sad man at heart.

Henry came through.

Speaking for Lucille Ball and
all of us here until next week:

Good night and be kind to each
other. Lucy, thanks so much.

We plan to invite unto our
program,

experts and authorities in
humor in every possible field.

In modern art for instance.
Ballet. Brick-laying.

Pottery. Basket-weaving.

In the field of transportation
we have invited Miss Lucille
Ball who

as you will see is a complete
stranger in the field.

Oh.

I wonder if you'd do me a
favor?

You see I have this girlfriend
and she came

to see me off and I promised
to wave to her.

Would you wave to Sally?

She's the one in the trench
coat standing by the gate.

Oh, thank you very much.

Are you going to Paris?

Yes.

So am I.

[ Sighs ]

My what a wonderful age we
live in.

Breakfast in Los Angeles.
Dinner in Paris.

It's very exciting, isn't it?

Frankly, my business takes me
to Paris twice a

month, so it isn't very
exciting for me.

I get sick of flying.

Oh so do I.

If it's just a jet here, jet
there. Here a jet, there a jet.

Everywhere a...

It's a real drag isn't it.

May I have your coat.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, would you put this in the
refrigerator for me?

Would be happy to.

The girls at the office gave
it to me.

Lovely.

Thank you. Thank you.

Don't let it get too frozen.

No, it'll be fine.

Fasten your seatbelts please.

Oh yes. Seat belt.

You better fasten your
seatbelt.

I'd like to.

I'll give you one of these for
one of those.

Do you think they'll mind?

Alright. Fair exchange.

[ Sighs ]

Ladies and gentlemen, may I
have your attention please.

Since our portion of our
flight will be over water I
would like to

demonstration how to put on a
life jacket.

Which you will find under your
seat.

The chance of you having to
use

the jacket are very remote but

regulations do require this
demonstration.

I've seen this a hundred
times.

Yeah... That stale bit.

After the jacket is securely

tied it is inflated by pulling
these nobs.

However please do not inflate
the

jacket until you are
instructed to do so.

Thank you.

Would you care for some
chewing gum?

Oh no thank you.

It's for your ears.

Oh, I forgot.

Does it really help?

It relieves the pressure on
your ears when you chew the
gum.

Care for some champagne?

Oh thank you.

I hope they serve lunch pretty
soon.

I didn't have any breakfast
this morning.

Oh, to a bon voyage.

Oh the boniest!

This is delicious.

Yes it is good.

Boy I hope they serve lunch
pretty soon.

What's that?

A little turbulence.

Oh I guess a little turbulence
never hurt anybody.

Whoops.

It is getting rough.

More champagne?

Why not?

No thank you.

Boy I hope they serve lunch
pretty soon.

You know I like you.

And I'm going to let you in on
a little secret.

Secret?

I have never been a plane
before.

You're kidding.

Couldn't tell could you?

I would have sworn you were
Jacqueline Cochran.

Oh you.

Boy I hope they serve lunch
pretty soon!

[ Life jacket inflating loudly
]

What are you doing with your
life jacket on?!

Life jacket?!

Life jacket, what's going on
here?

We must be getting ready to
ditch in the ocean!

Good heavens we're getting
ready to ditch!

[ Everyone shouting ]

How do you get this on? You've
got yours on!

Don't take it away from me!

Just a minute.

Ladies and gentlemen please
sit down!

Follow me!