Luckless in Love (2022) - full transcript

Okay, well, this is me.

Okay.

Okay, bye!

Thanks.

No, I think you're gonna

love it, actually.

Mm.

Here we are.

Oh, hey roomie. How'd it go?

Ugh, another dating nightmare.

Oh.

More blog fodder though.

Ooh, and he definitely lied

about his height on his profile.

Wait, unless he was using

the metric system.

Well, at least you're getting

fresh new material

for Luckless, right?

True.

Here you go. Cheers.

Cheers.

Okay.

Mm!

That is disgusting.

Okay.

Uh, yeah, cheers...

to a great first date.

Or not.

Who's that?

That's my son.

Hey! Ty.

You're home early.

Yeah, our coach

let us out early.

Ah.

Mm...

Do we have any extra Thai food?

So what's your name?

Brittany.

Oh, Brittany.

Brittany, Brittany, Brittany.

Be serious.

But he's a single dad.

He's what, at least eight years

older than you, like...

Do you really wanna be dealing

with me all the time?

I'm going through puberty

as we speak.

And I'm a nightmare,

he knows it.

You really wanna waste

your twenties

trying to be my step-mom?

Ha! Okay, yeah.

There's a reasonable explanation

why I didn't...

And you don't really

have to go but...

She's gone.

She seemed nice.

Yeah.

Actress?

Dancer, actually.

Shocking.

Shocking.

Yeah, lots of shocks tonight.

Um, hey, you.

You know that nice, fancy

expensive cell phone I go you?

Well, you can use that

to like, call or text me,

tell me you're coming early,

maybe, and then we just...

we'd have less shocks.

Mm. You know what?

I was thinking that,

but I was like,

"He's probably busy,

I don't want to interrupt."

I was busy?

Yeah.

Who knew? Not you.

'Cause you didn't call me.

What's up with you?

Come on, out with it.

Can I, uh...

Can I have some money?

There's a school dance,

tickets go on sale today, so...

Are you finally

gonna ask that girl out?

Uh, yeah. I think so.

Hm. There you are.

Thanks.

Hey.

You got this.

Yeah. I'll see ya later.

Yeah.

Okay, so while you were off

on your date with Napoleon,

Inga had me taste test

not one, not two,

but five raw only restaurants

this weekend.

I never want to see an uncooked

carrot in my life, okay?

Oh, oh. Hey, uh,

you dropped this.

Oh. Thank you,

that would have been bad.

School dance tickets

go on sale today, so...

Oh.

Well, good luck.

I hope whoever

you're asking says yes.

Yeah. Me too.

Thanks. Bye.

Bye.

Aw, sweet kid.

My blog barely has

any readers and my mother...

my mother is now officially

calling me her spinster

daughter.

Spinster. Like I'm,

I don't know,

some kind of Victorian recluse.

Okay.

I actually kind of like that.

It's like you're

a poisonous spider

trying to trap a man

in a web, right?

Or, I'm a writer

with a failing dating blog.

You know what?

Your post about the gym guy

was really fun.

Oh. And he spent three hours

extolling the merits

of calf implants.

Oh, yeah.

You know what?

At least we can revel

in how beautiful

the city is in the spring time.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I would rather

revel in that.

You are shameless.

Turn around.

I'm not... And we're late.

And you've got some drool like,

right there.

Ladies!

All staff meeting

in the sanctuary, please.

Now!

Here we go.

Another round of pre-summer

weight loss plans

and obscenely priced

travel guides.

It's like the swimsuit season

prep brings out the um...

demon inside of her.

You know what, maybe this year

she'll want something new.

You know, maybe fiction?

Yeah.

Or maybe pigs will fly.

Okay.

Okay! Kyra, I'm going to need

some recipes

for vegan baked goods

for lifestyle.

And please do not send me

anything else

with dates in them,

you know I abhor dates.

They make my thighs bloat.

Right. I hate it

when that happens.

Um, can I just ask you one

question, Inga?

Uh, can I use...

sugar this time?

Kyra, is it 1985?!

N-No, it's not.

Okay. Moving on!

Jen. Hi. I'm gonna need you to,

uh, take over advice.

"Spring Fling: Single Ladies."

We're really ramping up

our spring dating issue

and I want you to spearhead it.

Uh, Inga.

Sorry, I just like,

kind of thought that,

you know, I was gonna

tackle that...

No. Winnie, I'll give you

something more manageable.

Facial oils.

Facial oils?

The oil that you put

on your face.

Right. Yeah.

Hydrates.

I love facial... oils, Inga.

Perfect! Write a piece on it.

Yeah.

Enter!

Oh.

Hi, Inga.

Hello, Winnie.

I was hoping to talk to you

about my column.

You're just not relatable, dear.

I mean, everything you write

is just so... boring.

Okay...

There's nothing personal

or interesting about your work.

You may as well be

an algorithm at this point.

Well, I actually, uh,

have a blog on the side

where I write about

dating anonymously.

It's called Luckless.

And?

Well, I mean,

I think that's relatable.

You know, maybe that's...

that's what our readers

need, Inga,

to read about women who don't

have it all figured out,

who don't have all

the answers to dating...

Oh, Winnie. Winnie, Winnie,

let me stop you right there,

because you have to remember

that our readers come to us

for aspirational content, yes,

not to hear about

your sad little dates.

And sorry,

was I not perfectly clear

that I expect my writers

to focus entirely

on their Mush content?

Yeah, I know, but I... No buts.

Now you have a piece to write

on facial oils.

Off you go!

I hear that's fabulous,

by the way.

Peppermint under-eye,

revitalize...

Morning!

Dirk Perkins!

Don't you ever knock?

I can sign this guy, Ret.

Every sports agent in the city

wants to sign Dirk Perkins.

From what I hear,

he's a petulant little zit.

Hey!

He might be a little zit,

but he's gonna make us

a lot of money.

If you're gonna take over

my company,

you gotta do more

than sign Dirk.

Dirk Perkins is gonna be

the greatest baseball player

since Mickey Mantle.

We gotta sign him.

That overconfident little punk

will never be as great

as Mickey. You got that?

If you wanna sign him,

go sign him.

Just quit bugging me.

You're gonna thank me one day.

Uh, Ret.

Mm-hmm.

Are those the tickets

to the Insiders Gala?

They sure are.

Perfect, because I think

that would be the greatest place

to butter up Dirk.

You know, a little glitz,

a little glam,

hob nob with the creme

de la creme of the city,

bada bing, bada boom,

wheeling and dealing.

Uh, about that...

There's something

we need to discuss.

Shoot.

You hungry?

I think it might be good for you

to sit out

the Insiders Gala this year.

Hilarious.

Nice one, Ret.

I'm serious.

What?

Sit it out?

As in, I'm not invited? But...

Ret, I represent the agency,

we always go.

How can I put this?

You ruin the gala.

Every year. Without fail.

No, the... last year

that famous singer guy and I

danced for like two hours.

You danced for two minutes

and then you left with that

Victoria's Secret model

who wasn't even your date.

So?

She was that famous

singer guy's girlfriend.

What's the problem?

When are you gonna stop

acting like a kid, huh?

Don't you want a real

relationship?

For Ty. Something serious.

You must be tired

of all this running around,

and I'm sure Ty is too.

Listen, Ty and I

are doing fine on our own

and I don't want to go

to the gala to flirt with women.

Dirk Perkins is the biggest

prospect.

Ret, if you...

if you're worried

about me taking over,

you don't have to,

because I know the company

inside and out,

but I've got to be at the gala

to cash in on Dirk.

Not this year, Holden.

Come on,

what do I gotta do to prove

to you I can handle this?

What?

What are you scheming?

I have a proposition.

Okay.

The gala is in exactly

one month.

Why not find a girl

and try dating seriously?

You're predicating my attendance

on my ability

to find a girlfriend?

Mm-hmm.

Okay. Piece of cake.

No, I wanna see you actually

take a girl seriously.

Maybe even fall in love

if you're lucky.

Look, if you want

to take over my company,

I gotta see real commitment.

Bring her to dinner

the night before the gala

and I'll decide then if you've

formed a real connection.

Do that, then you can come.

No, Ret, there's got

to be another option.

Just...

go for someone you

wouldn't usually go for.

You can do it.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Are you okay?

Ugh!

Inga is killing me with this

face oil article, I mean,

peppermint does not belong

anywhere near your eyes.

Oh, it feels like

I just maced myself. Ugh!

Here, try this.

Oh, thank you.

Mm.

Ugh...

Tastes like rocks.

Okay, well, you try inventing

a calorie-free pastry, okay?

Yeah, well, at least she's

letting you keep your column.

I mean, she said my writing

isn't personal.

Forget Inga.

Mush is just a job.

You should focus

on your own projects.

Ooh, like your blog.

Oh my gosh!

Hey!

You should write something

for Mush on Luckless.

Like what?

Okay.

So you think your dating life

is a disaster and yes, it is.

But it's actually

pretty entertaining.

Ooh, maybe you just need to find

the perfect Mush guy.

Yeah, you know,

that's not a bad idea.

Right?

Yeah, I can find a guy

who I know girls like me

have dated before,

someone who Inga

finds aspirational.

Yes.

But I mean, what kind of

a guy has every girl dated?

A commitment-phobic man-child.

Yup.

Yeah.

Oh. Oh, wow.

Mm-mm.

Mm-mm.

I'm going to throw those out.

That's disgusting.

Let's go find this guy.

Yes! Yes!

I mean...

We're the two musketeers, right?

We don't need some lady

coming in here

and messing up our guy's things,

we are the kings

of our own castle.

Where are you going with this?

So, I know you're not thrilled

about some of the women

I've dated but Ret is insisting

that I give looking for

a serious girlfriend a try.

I mean, it's really important

'cause I gotta sign

this prospect, and I've got

to do it at a gala...

So, okay, so Ret wants you

to have a girlfriend

so that you can go to the gala

and sign that Dirk guy?

Yeah.

I say do it.

You know, just find someone

that Ret will like

and then, after that,

we can go back to normal.

Two musketeers, right?

And you're okay with this?

Yeah, whatever.

Sometimes I swear

you're a 40-year-old man

stuck in a teenager's body.

Gross.

Alright, you want to, uh,

help me pick one?

Uh, duh.

Alright.

Well, she's got to be

the serious type.

Oh, what about her?

Uh, yeah, so,

how about I handle this,

you handle homework?

That's lame.

Well, here goes nothing.

Okay.

Let's see here.

Here we go!

Him?

Okay. Nice moustache.

But you know what? Too artsy.

He looks like he would spend

all night quoting Kafka.

Oh. What about him?

Oh. Wait a minute,

isn't that the hot guy

from the coffee shop?

Do it right now before I do.

Come on.

Okay.

He messaged me.

He wants to meet.

Wow, he moves fast.

Operation let's make

Luckless Mush approved...

ah-begins!

Okay. Here we go!

Wish me luck!

Good luck!

I'm going on a date!

Yes!

That guy is so hot.

Uh, hi. Winnie?

That's funny, I think

I saw you the other day.

Uh, yes. You must be Holden.

Hi.

Hi.

Uh, this is the place.

They do great live music.

I think it's jazz tonight,

not my preferred genre, but...

Perfect, I love jazz,

I actually used to sing

in a jazz club in college.

Oh, God, really?

No, not me.

Terrified of singing.

Oh, anyone

can be taught to sing.

Like teaching a dog

how to walk on its hind legs.

Shall we?

Jinx.

So, what kind of things

do you write?

Well, I actually work

for a women's

lifestyle brand, Mush,

right now.

But I'd like to write

fiction novels some day.

Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

Um, I'm an agent. Sports agent.

Represent a few all-stars.

Alex Halsey on speed dial,

no big deal.

Hm.

The pitcher.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, hey...

Christie?

Brittany!

Brittany!

Brittany, right.

Uh, Winnie, this is Brittany.

Brittany, Winnie.

Hi.

I really wished you would have

just told me about...

You know, Brittany,

we are actually on a date,

so this is not the right time...

Oh, no, no, no. Don't mind me.

This is great. Uh, Brit...

what did he not

tell you about exactly?

She's not important...

It's not important. Um...

It was one date, so let's not

make this a bigger thing

than it actually is.

That's gin and tonic.

So, what did you not

tell her about exactly?

Um, we went on...

we went on one... one date,

it's really not important.

Okay. Well, I have

what I need.

Ugh.

I mean, what's the big deal?

We went on one date!

I haven't even seen her since!

Oh, and her fury just totally

came out of left field?

What did you mislead her about?

Women don't go around just

dousing men in overpriced

cocktails for not reason.

Well, apparently

in my experience,

sometimes they do.

Okay, so, you just

go out with women,

hide something big from them,

and then never

talk to them again?

Yeah, I've dated around.

So what?

You are a walking cliché.

Yeah, women like you

are exhausting.

Oh, I'm exhausting?!

Yeah!

I'm sorry, I wasn't the one

who just had an ex-lover

pour a drink on me!

An ex-lover?!

Yeah!

Hiya.

Oh, there's another one.

Yeah, why don't you two

have a great night?

Fine!

Fine!

Go, you giant-eyed,

stuck-up jazz lady!

Fine you, you...

you lothario! Ha!

Oh, an old-timey insult

that I'm not even really sure

I understand!

How will I ever recover?

Good night!

Um, I'm guessing

it went pretty much

how we expected it would?

He's Satan, Kyra.

Satan.

That's why he's so hot.

Oh, you have no idea.

Well, happy writing

Miss Luckless.

How's that for personal?

Hey.

Hey.

You okay?

You look tired, are you hungry?

Do you need a snack?

No, and that's just a polite way

to say I look horrible.

Okay...

Don't freak out. Okay?

Okay.

Inga would like to speak to you

in her office alone right now.

Why? Why, why, why?

I don't know.

She just insisted

that I send you in to see her

when you got in.

Maybe she just wants

to talk to you

about your fiction work.

You think? Really?

No. I'm sorry,

I'm just trying to make

you feel better

and I'm really stressed out.

Ah! Oh...

Yeah. Okay.

Pierre, can you stop

sneaking up on me like that?

I will be right there.

Okay. Don't worry.

Okay. Kyra.

What if she saw my blog?

Oh, what if she saw my blog?

Mm-mm.

There's no way

that she saw the blog.

Nobody reads the blog

except me and weird Greg in 5-C.

Ouch.

Sorry. And Crazy Carl in 6-S.

Oh, thank you.

Nice guy!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ah!

Why are you screaming?

Sorry, just,

your hand looked, um...

You wanted to see me?

It's for cell regeneration...

Obviously. And yes.

I want to speak

to you about this.

This is your blog, is it not?

The one you were trying

to pitch me the other day?

I can explain.

She's viral!

My best friend!

This blog is biting.

Witty. On trend.

Very unlike you.

I was actually trying

to take your advice, you know,

be more personal in my writing,

and I thought the blog

was a great exercise.

And I know, technically,

you know,

it's not allowed, but...

It's brave and controversial.

I love it.

You what?

I love it.

So I'm not fired?

No! No, no, no.

No, see, I want to take this

little anonymous blog of yours

and turn it into a regular

column on Mush.

I want you to keep writing

content like this.

Inga, really? Oh, yes!

Oh, I have so many ideas.

I mean, there's so many things

that I wanna write about...

No, no, no, dear.

I'm sorry. You're not...

You're not understanding.

See, dating in the city,

it's a jungle, okay?

Women are struggling every day

to find real, lasting love.

We should embrace

all your many, many flaws.

That's what our site needs.

Your date was cathartic.

It was a beautiful revenge story

set against every guy

in the city like The Player.

A triumph from break-up column!

Uh, yeah, I'm actually

not following.

You keep dating

this player character.

Put him in more

uncomfortable situations.

Write about it for the site

and I will consider letting you

have your own column

to write whatever you want.

Okay, so, so... you want me

to keep seeing Hol...

The Player, and to write about

how much of a disaster he is,

and then I get to write

whatever I want?

Exactly.

And I'm doubling your pay.

And promoting you from staff

writer to regular columnist.

Congratulations.

Uh, I mean, Inga,

this is an incredible

opportunity, really, it is,

I just don't think

it is possible.

I mean, I can't even guarantee

that he'll agree to see me.

I mean, he hates me,

like, really, really hates me.

Well, if you want a column

and creative control at Mush,

make him un-hate you.

Okay.

But I have one condition.

I'm listening.

As long as you want me to

write about my personal life,

I get to keep my anonymity.

And I also get

to protect his identity.

Being anonymous just helps me

be more honest in my writing.

Surprisingly chic.

Deal.

Alright, so this column will run

'till the end of the month

and then, you can pitch me

whatever you want.

Inga, why the end of the month?

Because then we'll be

switching over

to juice cleanses and colonics.

Winnie, come on, keep up.

Oh, juice cleanses, yeah,

I can't wait!

Thank you.

What happened?

Uh, well, she gave me

my own column.

What? Are you kidding?

That's amazing! Right?

Why do you look so disappointed?

I... I'll tell you later,

I just, I gotta go have

lunch with my mother.

Oh, joy.

Yeah, I'll...

Say hi to Evette for me!

Oh, yeah.

Love you, spinster daughter!

You're slouching, dear!

I don't understand

why you're always slouching.

When are you gonna just take

your trust fund already?

This job is grinding you

to a fine powder.

I want to make

my own money, okay?

I have an apartment

that I pay for, I'm a writer.

You know, we've been over this.

You are a gossip columnist.

It's hardly a real writer.

Well, it's not gossip,

it's actually a lifestyle brand,

it's a huge company, Mom.

I just don't understand

why you insist

on this bohemian

starving artist bit.

I mean, this family

has worked hard

to give you the means

to live a comfortable life.

And you're throwing

it all away to write...

What? I don't know,

what are you writing now?

Well, I actually

just got my own column.

Ah.

Yeah.

About dating.

Oh, how gauche.

Nice cut, Dirk.

I swear, it was like every woman

at the place was a vulture,

and I was a piece

of fresh roadkill.

But that Winnie stole my mojo.

Ooh!

That was a mean curveball.

It was a bit outside.

It's alright Dirk, keep it up!

Come on, Jaybird,

you're weak today.

Speak of the literal devil.

Give it another shot.

Why not?

Why would I go on another date

with a woman

who made it very clear

she thinks I'm a walking cliché

of an unsettled man-child?

To her credit, she's not wrong.

Yeah, she is.

Right, really selling me

on this second date, Ret.

You're so used to having women

fall all over

themselves for you.

Maybe it's time

that you spent some time

with a woman that doesn't find

your overconfidence,

your London accent,

and your annoying good hairline

so charming.

Call me at six.

This guy's got an arm.

Okay. One more date.

For Perkins.

I can't believe he agreed

to another date.

Yeah, it's like he was

actually eager to see me.

But luckily, you know, I

had a little bit of time

to plan something.

Ooh!

Yeah, you know, just something

to speed along the material,

make Inga happy.

Mm, well that's the only thing

that's important,

making Inga happy.

Mm-hmm!

Have fun!

Thank you.

See you later.

Alright, I am off,

second date with serious girl.

I ordered you pizza.

Cool.

You know, if I keep this up,

I might actually get

a serious girlfriend.

Whoa, Ty, come on mate.

I'm joking.

That's not funny.

So what's going on

with that girl you like?

Did you ask her

to the dance yet?

Uh... not exactly.

Come on. You gotta put

yourself out there.

Well, that's easy

for you to say.

Okay Ty, listen.

Women are easy.

Just tell her that you like her.

Dad, no offence,

but I just don't think

it's a good idea for me

to be taking advice from a guy

who got a drink thrown at him

less than 24 hours ago

and is now going

on a second date with a girl

he doesn't even like

because his boss told him to.

Harsh but fair.

Pizza will be here in 20.

Cash is on the counter.

I'll be back in a bit.

Cool. Later.

Hi.

Hi.

I, uh, wanted to apologize.

I think we got off

on the wrong foot.

It's okay, I shouldn't have

called you a lothario.

Truce?

Truce.

So, what exactly are we doing?

I've got something in mind.

Like?

Jazz night again.

I thought we already did this?

Well, kind of.

Here he is. Hey!

You ready?

Uh, what's going on?

Hello, hello!

Ladies and gentlemen,

ah, do we have

a treat for you tonight.

Welcome to the stage,

the one, the only,

Holden Fulls.

Woo!

You want me to sing in public?

Yeah.

Have you ever heard two cats

fighting in an alleyway?

That's me singing!

Relax! It will be fun!

I... I don't do music.

Well, you do now.

Okay, have fun.

Okay...

Woo! Holden, everyone!

Uh, I... I... What song?

What song?

It had to be you.

You can just do a scat improv.

You'll be great.

Uh, great. Okay.

I don't know any...

I don't know any...

It had to be you...

It had to be you...

Skee-ba-ba-boo.

Skeedle-bae!

Haba! Haba!

Haba! Skee-da-da-dee-ah!

Skee-sko-badoo...

Skee-skada-bow!

Love! Yeah!

It had to be you!

Skee...

Yeah, cheers.

Woo!

Well, that was deeply scarring.

And not just for you.

Well, cheers to being

traumatized

and never singing jazz again.

Oh, I can't cheers to that.

Cheers to me never

singing jazz again.

Are there any other activities

that I should be aware of?

Well, uh...

I actually volunteer

at the community centre

by my place.

Plan after-school activities,

and I mentor kids

and stuff like that.

So, you like kids?

I love kids. Yeah.

Good to know.

Hey, um...

why was that woman

so mad at you the other night?

I suppose she thinks

I, uh, mislead her.

About what?

A part of my life.

What part?

You know, if we're gonna

keep doing this,

I think it should happen

organically.

You know, some things

take a bit of time.

Okay. Fair enough.

Well, this is me, so...

Do you...?

Shall we?

Good night.

Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Good night.

Handshake.

At this rate, I'll never

get to the gala.

Tell me, how did I end up

with a trashy dating column

when all I've ever wanted

was to be Harper Lee!

Winnie. Just do this one job

and then you can write

anything you want.

Yeah, I just don't know

if I can keep dating this guy

because he's awful, Kyra!

He's awful.

So you use it. Channel it.

I will use it.

Use it.

I will channel it.

Yes!

And then write about it.

Yeah. Okay.

That's it.

I can do this.

What would you do without me?

Okay. Here goes nothing.

If you need me

I'll be right here, okay?

Okay.

Okay.

The post has 500,000 views.

Yes bestie!

That is what I'm talking about.

High-five.

Yes!

Oh, that's so good!

Hey.

Mm-hmm.

Do you think I should tell

Inga that I put...

regular flour in those brownies?

Stop!

Mm!

Absolutely not.

Yes, yes, yes, Kyra!

Yes to this!

Mm.

I need to know that I'm gonna

get the best sneaker contracts,

sodas, watches, billboards.

Your number one priority

is playing ball.

You're talented.

But you're an inch away

from screwing it all up

with that mouth of yours.

What Ret means to say

is that if you do your job

out on the field,

I can make sure

all the big brands

are gonna be begging

to work with you.

Eric Potsworth says

he can get the job done, so,

how do I know

you'll do it better?

Hold off on making a decision

until after the Insiders Gala.

All the top CEOs

are gonna be there,

and they're always

in the mood to do business.

I mean, Eric Potsworth's

a dime a dozen

and his agency's a veritable

meat grinder.

You need an agency that actually

cares about you.

I guarantee I can secure you

a big brand contract

at the gala,

right then and there.

Hm.

Deal. I'll decide at the gala.

Ah, Jada, um, hey,

there's this, uh,

there's this dance.

Jada. What's up? It's... Ty.

Hey, ladies.

Hey, Jada, um, don't look now,

but I think that boy

might have a crush on you.

And interest in asking him

to join us today?

Hey! Over here!

Yes, you. Come here.

I run the after-school

activities here

and we're actually playing

basketball today,

any interest in joining us?

Uh, yeah. Sure.

Oh, great. I'm Winnie.

Ty.

You know, Ty,

when you like someone,

it's probably a good idea

to talk to them.

What? I... I don't like...

Tell that to your face.

Look, Jada's like, next level.

There's no chance

she likes me back.

Mm, I wouldn't be so sure.

Really?

All I'm gonna say

is that she's actually mentioned

a boy named Ty before,

so unless there's tons of Tys

running around your school,

I'm guessing she meant you.

Just ask her.

How?

Be honest.

Put yourself out there.

You got this. Ask her.

Thanks, Winnie.

I mean, what was that about Ret?

He's a chump, Holden.

Now, I've been in this business

for over 40 years,

and I think I know

a thing or two

about what players

are gonna last.

Who said anything about lasting?

When I started this company,

you know what I wanted?

A billion-dollar valuation?

No. I wanted hall-of-famers.

Players that gave everything

for the game.

Some players are just

money players, Ret.

You came to me knowing

zilch about baseball.

All that cricket and polo

and whatever else

you Brits like.

You were hungry.

And you wanted more.

Remember what I said to you?

"You don't have to swing hard

to hit a home run.

If you've got the timing,

it'll go."

That's right. Yogi Berra.

Yogi Berra.

Why don't you dig down deep

for me and find that kid again?

'Cause that money-grabbin',

fast-talking fool

ain't my thing.

And it sure isn't the way I want

my company run after I'm gone.

Well, you'll see.

After the gala.

Hey.

Quit swinging so hard, kid.

Hey!

How are you?

Arts and crafts.

Yup.

Starting to think

you enjoy torturing me.

Painting is relaxing.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Paint brush.

Right.

Cheers.

Oh.

Okay. Easy.

Sorry.

It looks like

you're enjoying it.

Don't... don't break

the artist streak here.

Kind of therapeutic, no?

I'm so Zen.

Yeah, me too.

I'm like a koi pond.

I'm like a cloud doing yoga.

You know, you're kind of

killing my Zen right now.

Okay.

Okay.

Who is that supposed to be?

It's me. Kind of.

Okay, well, from this angle,

it actually kind of looks like

a very colourful

Winston Churchill.

Oh, bollocks.

That's it. I'm done.

I've had enough.

You really do a lot

for this place, don't you?

These kids are important?

Oh yeah. Yeah.

This year I'm actually

giving them all art supplies.

Oh, how many?

There is 218 this year,

something like that.

You're gonna give

218 kids art supplies?

Well, sort of.

Oh, what,

you're a trust fund baby?

Well, I don't use it,

so I put it back

into the community centre.

Are you telling me

you've got a trust fund?

Look, I don't need

all that money,

and I would rather

have it go to them.

You know, this place actually

reminds me of my childhood.

Oh, you used to volunteer too?

Uh, no, more like I was

the one being volunteered for.

There was this woman,

a lot like you, actually,

who used to drop off gifts

at the leisure centre.

The only gifts I ever got.

Oh, I... I didn't realize.

Well, most women as beautiful

as you are not as giving.

I should probably, um...

I should go.

Yeah.

Okay.

Hey!

You almost knocked over

the former prime minister!

Poor Winston.

How are you?

Ignore this.

You're home late.

Yeah, I actually had a...

a nice time.

Cool.

So, do you, uh,

do you actually

like this girl or...?

Yeah, I kind of do.

Well, am I gonna get

to meet her or...

at least get to know

anything about her?

Well, um, when I'm ready, yeah.

Can you at least

just tell me what she's like?

She's um... generous and kind.

And surprising.

Look, I wanna make sure

that if and when you meet her

that she's gonna be someone

that's gonna be around

for a long time.

Yeah, I get it.

It's just, you know,

two musketeers.

Right.

Always.

You know you're the best, right?

You know that?

So, uh, what's your next date?

Well, I think it's gonna be

an urban scavenger hunt.

Apparently there's all these

cool things

hidden all over the city

and I've got this site

that leads us to all

the cool spots.

Sounds fun.

Yeah.

I'm gonna get some sleep.

Good night.

Good night.

Scavenger hunt.

Here.

Oh, yeah. Cheers.

Thanks, mate.

Have fun!

Hey.

Hi.

Uh, eat some candy or something?

Uh, no.

No, why do you ask?

Mm...

Why?

No reason.

Okay. You're being weird.

Glad the red dye was washable.

Yeah. Me too.

Says we're supposed to go

to Harold Washington Library

but... this can't be right.

Getting directions

to previous destination,

Hair Restore Hair Plug Doctors.

Uh...

Okay, so, I don't know

what that's about.

Would you like me to direct

you to Toupees and Beyond,

Doctor Coiffure,

Balding Specialists?

No! I mean obviously,

I've got a full head of hair.

Yeah, it's a really

believable toupee.

It's not a toupee!

Mm. Yeah.

No, it's real. Touch it.

Directing to Big Ricks

Wig World.

Gah!

It must be some sort of bug.

Well, apparently

our urban scavenger hunt

has turned into a slow walking

tour of the city.

Yeah, but at least

I'm learning a lot

about hair-restoration

technique, so there's that.

Oh, are you? Okay.

Okay, well, follow me.

This way.

Now, if you see...

this house right here,

when I was younger,

my friends and I

used to doorbell ditch

houses just like that.

I dare you to do it again.

Okay. Only if you

do it with me.

What? No. No, no, no.

Oh, oh, no,

but are you a chicken?

No! No, I just...

Are you a chicken?

She's a chicken.

Okay. Okay. Go!

What are you...

Oh, my, she's coming!

My heart's gonna beat

out of my chest.

I forgot how fun that was.

Sierra. It's Inga.

We should talk.

A 100-mile-per-hour fastball.

That's impressive.

You ever think about

playing pro?

Take my card.

I think you've got

something special.

You know, one thing

I'll never understand

about you Americans is how much

you love standing in line.

There's actually a ramen place

in Wicker Park

that has the best

ramen ever, obviously,

and people actually camp outside

the night before.

Camp?

Mm-hmm.

We should go there next time.

Literally the night before.

It's that good.

Can I ask you something?

Shoot.

How are you still single?

Honestly?

Well, my dates are

usually disasters.

Oh good, I thought it was

me that was the disaster.

Oh, you are.

Trust me. But so am I.

Uh, you've got a little...

Oh.

- Sorry, uh...

- Don't answer it.

Sorry, I, uh... one sec.

I gotta go.

I spaced on a deadline.

I thought you wanted

to be a novelist.

I mean, your boss sounds awful.

And she's clearly addicted

to her phone.

Just... Why not just quit?

It's not that simple.

Okay? I gotta go.

But... Okay,

Winnie, I didn't...

Great.

What am I doing?

Hey, hey, hey!

I made lasagna. You want some?

No, I'm good.

You okay?

We almost kissed.

You and Player?

Ew. Why? What? When? Where? How?

It's like I'm actually

starting to actually like him.

How am I supposed to write a break-up

post at the end of this thing when...

If I'm actually starting

to have feelings for the guy?

You need to tell Holden

the truth.

What? No. I can't.

He'll hate me.

It's going to come out

eventually, Win.

Women all over the city

are reading your column.

I know... it's bad!

Ugh, it's bad!

Are you crazy?

This is what you've

always wanted.

Your writing is finally

getting noticed!

Stop "Holden" back the truth.

See what I did there?

- Yeah.

- Tell him.

If he really likes you,

he'll understand.

Something to ruin the mood.

- Toast?

- Thanks.

I'm going to stay at Brody's

after practice if that's cool.

Uh, sure, yeah.

That's fine by me.

Sweet. Okay.

- Have fun.

- I will. See ya!

Sorry, Ty.

In case she comes over.

Hey.

Hi.

So, you've shown me your world.

How about today,

I show you mine?

Okay, what did you have in mind?

Oh, look at you.

So cute in your little helmet.

What did I do to deserve this?

Hey. I sang and did

art for you.

Two of my least

favourite things.

Indulge me in a little payback.

Fine.

I'm just gonna widen this out.

Now, this is kind of obligatory.

Okay.

Now... Baseball is all

about grace.

Yeah!

A little more grace than that.

Grace and...

Okay...

Efficiency.

Never... take your eye

off the ball.

- Okay.

- You ready?

Not at all.

Ugh!

Oh, I'm terrible at this!

You're closing your eyes!

Remember what I said, always

keep your eye on what you want.

Whoa!

Woo!

There it goes, we got a

ringer, ladies and gentlemen!

Miss Winnie Rhodes!

You gotta run, you gotta run!

I gotta run!

Come on! They're signalling!

She's running home!

She's going for it!

Don't slide!

- I don't even need to rush.

- Safe! Amazing.

- So, why baseball?

- Why baseball?

- Mm-hmm!

- Why baseball?

Of all sports, why baseball?

Baseball is the most

American sport there is.

Um...

Um... Okay, when I left

England,

I left with nothing.

I had no money, no family.

America was this fresh start.

And apple pie and baseball

were my first American loves.

And they are dear to me

to this day. Sorry.

Ugh, you're so lucky, you know?

To have a career where...

you get to do what you love.

Why don't you

just write on your own?

I mean, what is stopping you?

- It's not that simple.

- I think it is, because...

Mm-mm.

You have this trust fund, right?

You could just go off and write.

Be free.

- No, I...

- You've got this incredible

safety net that not

a lot of people have.

Why not use it?

I don't want to look back

and wonder if I made it because

I'm actually talented or because

I'm just privileged.

You know?

Hmm...

And here I thought all rich people

loved being rich, but you...

are an enigma, Winnie Rhodes.

- Enigma.

- A complicated, selfless...

giant-eyed, beautiful...

wonderful enigma.

Oh!

Oh, uh...

- Oh, that's, that is...

- It's okay.

Really not how

I wanted that to go.

- It's totally okay! Um...

- Um...

- Do you have some soda water?

- So... yeah. Soda water.

I've got soda...

So how about, actually,

why don't you just, um...

Why don't you just throw

this on, and I'll pop

that in the wash?

- Awesome, thank you.

- Right. Uh...

It's okay.

Do you happen

to be a fan of old movies?

Love them!

Yes!

Oh, this is my favourite part.

Humphrey Bogart

is an absolute legend.

Ew!

Ty...

Winnie? What are you...

I think I got the stain out.

Oh wow, Ty. Mate, you're early.

Um...

Dad, this whole time,

you've been seeing Winnie?

How do you know even know?

He's been coming

to the community centre.

And were you ever going

to tell me you had a son?

- Of course, listen...

- And whose is that?

Uh... I genuinely

have no clue.

Right. Forget it.

I gotta go.

No, Winnie, I can explain!

Well, I can't explain

the mysterious nightie,

but I can explain Ty!

God, you're an idiot.

Enter! Oh, Winnie!

- Hi.

- Just the girl I wanted to see.

I was hoping I could talk

to you about my column.

Yes! It's a smash.

Now, I'm thinking

we turn it into a book.

- Uh...

- I mean, I've already been in touch

with the best publisher

in the nation.

They love the idea.

A... A book? What?

Yes! Yes, we'll take

your existing posts

and then you can expand

upon them.

Maybe add in some dating tips,

things like that.

It'll be an easy read.

Right.

W... Why would people

want to buy a book of posts

they've already read?

For the extra content!

I published a book

of tweets last year.

Trust me, audiences crave

books like this.

Right, uh...

There's just something that I...

I was in touch with the papers!

The Times wants to do

a feature on Y-O-U!

Huh, wait, what?

What about our deal

to keep my anonymity?

Well, sweetie, anonymity

works fine for a blog,

but for a book, we... we

really need to know the author.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, it's part of the package!

The big reveal!

He has a son. Okay?

He happens to be the father

of one of the kids I mentor,

and I just,

I can't do it, Inga, okay?

It's... It's different now.

Excuse me?

I can't keep writing about him.

Um... I'm done.

Do you think just because

he's procreated that

that will elicit my sympathy?

No...

This book will launch

your writing career, Winnie.

Right, and I am so

grateful for that. Really, I am.

But Inga...

But what?! What?!

You... Oh, you have feelings

for him?

Oh, you want me to play mommy!

Give you a little huggy wuggy?

Is that it? Huh?

Get over it, Winnie!

I don't pay you to feel.

Okay, I just think that if you give

me a week to date other people,

I can write about somebody else.

I promise you.

I can write just as good

about other people.

Fine! If it will get you over

this schoolgirl infatuation.

But I expect you to start turning

in content for the book ASAP.

Whatever you need, Inga!

Don't touch my desk, Winnie.

We're done.

Yes, yes!

Are you mad at me?

No, mate. I'm not mad.

I'm sorry about...

about the nightgown.

And the GPS, and...

dyeing your mouth red.

I, uh... It was all me.

I mean, if I had known it was

Winnie that you were dating, then...

Moral of the story is I...

I shouldn't have been messing

with your dates.

I'm sorry.

Thanks.

You know, I figured it was you.

I think I'm just nervous...

about you actually liking

someone. You know?

It's just been you and me

for so long, and...

Hey, you know I was actually

scared to introduce you?

You can be quite

the harsh critic, Ty.

Yeah, I know.

But I don't think

you should give up.

She's... She's actually

really cool.

She helped me ask Jada out.

She's a really nice lady.

I'll try not to be

so critical anymore.

Thanks, Ty.

Yeah.

This is garbage.

Oh, hey, Mom.

Hi, Winnie!

I was just reading your column.

You are Luckless, yes?

Uh, yes, why? Who's asking?

Some of those jokes

are a little crude, darling.

And I noticed that you're

relying very heavily on slang.

Okay, Mom, since when

do you read Mush?

Well, I was curious!

The women at beauty salon

couldn't stop talking about it.

And that boy, the Player,

he sounds like a good fit.

Yeah, I'm actually

not seeing him anymore.

Did your posture just change?

You sound like you're slouching,

honey.

Okay, well, um...

Mom, I, I... I really actually have

to get back to work, so I gotta go.

Oh, okay.

Well, hang on to that young boy.

You know how your mummy

loves a British accent.

Okay, Mom. Bye.

What?

And here we are.

This is where

our associates are,

we have a boardroom back there,

but this is the guy.

Ret, this is Jason Byrd.

Guy's got a great arm.

I liked him. Good kid.

That's the kind of player

we need more of around here.

You know, humble, hard-working,

in it for the love of the game

and not because he wants

all the latest sneakers.

Well, he's a diamond

in the rough.

But we still need

those big wins like Dirk, Ret.

Not that I've got any chance

of signing him now.

Why?

Is something going

on with that girl?

Uh, she's just ignoring me.

I guess you can count

me out of the gala.

Maybe she's just busy with work.

No, no. I just dropped the ball

and didn't tell her about Ty.

I mean, I wanted to do it the

right way and introduce them but...

He walked in on one of our dates

and now she's ghosting me.

Ghosting? Hold on, she died?

No, Ret, you old boot.

Ghosting is when someone you're

dating stops responding to you.

Ah...

I totally understand

why so many women hated

me for ghosting them.

It's really insensitive.

Have you tried a grand gesture?

Like a good romantic comedy?

You show up unexpectedly

with a boom box over your head.

If you want to come

to the party, you know my terms.

- A grand gesture?

- Think big.

Now let's move on to

the Luckless column.

Winnie! Winnie.

The numbers are tanking dear,

it's time to bring back

the Player.

Well I, uh...

Okay, okay!

I'm sensing you're about to give

me a whole energy here of excuses,

and I'm gonna need you to change that

around to a whole energy of solutions.

Yeah, Winnie. Help me help you.

Help me help you. Mm-hmm!

Help me help you!

Pierre, like you mean it!

Yeah, okay.

- They're so happy.

- Mmm.

Uh, okay! First of all, I was

really invested in that movie.

Second of all, how long is this

pity party gonna go on for?

You need a plan, Winnie.

Okay, well, I'll make up some posts and

I'll pretend that the real Player is back.

And Inga, she won't know

the difference.

Winnie Rhodes!

Did you hear that?

Or have I had too much wine?

Hey!

What's he doing here?

Is that Player?

What's he doing?!

Winnie!

I'm not sure, just, uh...

Winnie Rhodes!

Wha... What are

you doing here?!

- I gotta to talk to you!

- Holden!

Okay, I'm gonna start singing.

No! No, no, no, Holden!

And all of your neighbours

are gonna hate you for it!

No, no! Holden, Holden, don't!

This is for Winnie Rhodes,

everyone! For Winnie Rhodes!

No! Holden, no!

It had to be you!

Okay, are there two cats

fighting in the alleyway,

or is that his singing voice?

That's his singing voice!

Skeetley-da!

How have you still

not learned the lyrics?!

Dee-dah! It had to be... you!

Holden, no! Okay, fine! Fine, fine, fine!

Fine! I'll talk to you. Just...

I'll talk to you!

Please just stop singing.

I'll just, I'll come down, okay?

Okay.

God...

I'm an idiot.

Where have you been, Win?

I, uh... When I found out

about Ty, I...

- I know what's going on.

- You do?

You got scared.

I'm scared too, Win.

Well, it's not that.

I mean, it is sort of that,

but um...

Holden, my job...

You can write whatever

you want. Job or no job.

You're brilliant.

- You're being too kind.

- No. I'm being honest.

I mean, if this job is that

important to you, I'll support it.

I just want you to be happy.

But Ty really likes you.

Now what?

You could quit ghosting me.

That's absolute torture, that.

Tomorrow, my boss is having a

dinner and Ty's gonna be there,

and I want everyone to meet the right way.

Will you come?

I'd love to.

- And keep Saturday open.

- For what?

You'll see.

See you tomorrow.

Yeah.

Do you know how hard it was to

find a boom-box?

Yeah, I bet!

- Tomorrow!

- Tomorrow.

I...

Okay.

Hello?

Your numbers

are through the roof.

The fans are buzzing

about Player's return.

Too sentimental

for my own tastes,

but the metrics are great.

Okay! Yeah, that's good.

And how are the last chapters

of the book coming along?

Well, um,

I... I almost finished it,

but actually, uh, I wanted to talk

you about the break-up post, um...

We can discuss that later.

I've moved the Times shoot

up to today.

Wait, what?!

We are rushing the book

launch to next week.

Inga!

We need to ride this momentu!

You know, we've only got

one more column,

and then we're

hitting the shelves.

So meet me

at the office in three hours.

And please, Winnie,

detangle your hair

before you arrive,

for everyone's sake.

No, no, no, no, no!

Ugh!

- It's fine...

- Dad, chill! You're making me...

- Hi! Hi, hi!

- Hey!

Sorry, I'm late.

It's good to see you.

Hey!

Wow, you look beautiful.

So, are you done ghosting

my dad now?

I mean, I thought he was gonna have

an aneurysm there for a few days.

Really?

No, he's just a teenager. He doesn't

know what he's talking about.

Yeah, I do!

He was stalking

your social media nonstop.

- Oh!

- Total creep status.

Ty! Shall we?

You're grounded.

- Oh, hi. Good to see you.

- Young man...

Ret. This is Winnie.

- Hi.

- It's so nice to meet you.

You too. I've heard

only great things.

- Oh, really?

- Oh yeah, yeah.

Holden always talks about how lucky

he is to have a boss like you.

- Well...

- I like her.

She knows that compliments

are a way to my heart.

Well, in that case,

uh, you have a great smile.

Off to a great start.

Okay!

So I programmed

his GPS to only direct

him to a hair plug doctor,

and Toupees and Beyond.

I mean, how did

you even do that?

Um, I'm good with technology.

My generation was practically born

with tablets glued to our hands.

If he's balding,

you can tell me.

- Oh, hi! Talking about me?

- Don't worry about it!

Some other bald guy.

Oh!

Inside joke.

Oh...

I like her.

You can tell

if he's balding. Go on.

I mean, he could be.

- Really?

- You're in.

Well, thanks for coming.

You were a real hit.

One more thing.

Come with me tomorrow

to the Insiders Gala.

- Are you serious?

- As my girlfriend.

Just kiss already!

I'll, uh...

I'll figure it out.

Okay. Let's find a way.

I'm gonna see you tomorrow?

Thanks for the advice!

Romantic!

Absolutely not. If you pull

out of this book deal,

I will sick every single

attorney in the city on you

and I will eat you alive.

Got it?

You signed on to do a break-up

column and a tell-all book.

Well, I want a break-up! Got it?

- Yeah. I understand.

- Good!

I expect to see

your post tonight.

Don't disappoint me.

- Wow.

- Too much?

No, No, you're perfect.

Here we are.

I have to say that...

it's been a long time since I've enjoyed

spending time with someone this much.

Yeah, me too.

Uh...

Holden, there's just

something I've been, um...

I've been meaning to tell you.

Yeah, you can tell me anything.

Uh...

Well, the, uh, the column

I'm writing right now,

it's very personal.

Okay.

What I'm trying to say is

that, um...

Tomorrow, there's a big release,

and well, I'm supposed to...

- Hey! Hey, there he is!

- Hey!

Wicked.

Would you excuse me?

I just need to...

go to the restroom.

Holden! Please tell me

you have some deals for me.

Uh, you see that...

You see that guy right there?

The CEO of the biggest sports

department store on the planet.

Just happens to

be my golfing buddy.

- We expected...

- Oh! Hi, Ret!

Oh, there you are, Winnie.

How are you?

It's good to see you.

I'm doing a lot better

now that my top agent has

his head out of his rear end.

And you to thank for that.

Oh no, no, I can't take credit

for that.

Oh, yes, you can.

- Would you excuse me?

- Yeah!

- I just, I need to, um...

- Sure, absolutely.

Hmm.

So, when do you think

I'd get paid?

Well, um, that depends...

Well, hello there!

I'm Dirk.

Are you texting your boyfriend?

Actually, I'm reading Luckless.

Luckless? No way,

I love that column!

Player is a hot mess.

Wait, what are we talking about?

Oh, it's the most popular

dating column ever.

This girl is dating

this guy who's a player,

and he's a disaster.

Okay.

And they went on a date,

and a woman he used to see...

Poured a drink on him!

Remember the doorbell ditching?

No, no, no, the jazz date!

It had to be you!

Awful, awful, awful!

I've made my decision.

I'm letting Holden take over.

He's convinced me

that he's got what it takes.

I thought for sure he was

faking it with Winnie

just to get into the parties

so he could sign Dirk, but now...

I can't believe he showed up

to a date with red teeth!

Oh, yo, Holden.

You said that

your date works at Mush, right?

Maybe she knows who Luckless is.

Excuse me.

Winnie.

Holden, don't.

All this time you were

writing about me, huh?

Using me,

that's your big secret.

Yeah, and you were using me

to get to some baseball player,

right?

I was your ticket in here so you could

get some big endorsement deal? Is that it?

Well, you would know about putting

work in front of everything!

Hmm? Wouldn't you?

Making a fool of me

in front of millions of people!

Millions!

Making fun of my singing voice?!

I didn't even

want to sing that night!

Whoa, wait, Holden, you're...

And you used me so that you could

chase your next big paycheque,

because guess what?

This was never about you opening up so

that Ty could have some... some stability!

No! This was always about money,

because that's all

you care about.

You honestly think I would

introduce you to my son

if I wasn't serious about you?

Hmm, how would I know, huh?

You seem like you're pretty good

at hiding who you really are.

Well, that makes two of us.

Doesn't it, Luckless?

Yep! You're right!

I'm Luckless!

I hope everybody

enjoyed the show.

Oh, and one more thing.

Holden here, he is the player!

- Yeah!

- The one and only!

You know what?

I'm gonna do what I should have

done on that very first date.

Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry!

Just for the record, that was supposed

to hit him, not you. I'm really sorry!

That was hilarious!

- Hey!

- Hey.

How'd it go?

What happened? Winnie!

Did you tell him?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I told him.

Okay, it's gonna be okay.

Come on. Sit down. Come on.

Don't cry, you're gonna

make me cry, okay?

You know what always makes

me feel better?

Eating a snack.

Come on, you want one?

- Okay.

- Yeah?

- Cheers.

- Cheers. Cheers.

It's gonna be okay. Okay?

Sorry for ruining yet another

one of your events.

You're not the only one

to fumble the ball today.

I shouldn't have let it slip

about our arrangement.

Would've been nice.

No, mate, I'm just not

made for commitment.

Just because it didn't work

out with Winnie,

doesn't mean

that it wasn't worthwhile.

You let yourself fall,

it's a good thing.

Well, at least I got Dirk.

He's got his shoe deal now.

Mm-hmm, sure does.

Big book release day!

Want to get some

celebratory brunch?

No thanks. I think I'm

just gonna stay here.

I'm really sorry

that I pressured you

to write about

your personal life.

No, no, no. No. You know,

you and Inga were right, okay?

I was too afraid

to put myself out there

that I was hiding behind

this persona.

Okay, maybe I needed this.

You know what? I'm gonna

make us some brownies.

With actual butter.

Actual butter.

- And sugar.

- And sugar.

- And joy.

- And joy!

Mm-hmm!

- Thank you.

- Of course.

Inga, hi!

Your last column was fab!

And I got you a spot

on Wake Up America!

Get ready to be

a bestselling author!

Oh, uh...

What did she say?

Uh... I'm gonna be

on Wake Up America!

You're gonna be

on Wake Up America?!

I'm gonna be on Wake Up America!

Oh my gosh! High-five, bestie!

Yes!

That was...

500K? They're lowballing me.

You're still a rookie, Dirk.

You know I'm worth triple.

It's one shoe deal.

There's gonna be plenty more

where that came from, trust me.

No, no, it's about respect!

They're not showing me

the respect I deserve.

Respect? Respect?!

You want respect?

Earn it on the field.

How many homers have you hit?

How many double plays

have you made? Zero.

You're not even

on that diamond yet.

I'm gonna be the greatest

player in the game.

Everyone says it!

Will you?

That's funny, because right now, all

I see is an overconfident little prat

who only cares about

endorsements.

You want to be great?

Shut up and play baseball.

We're done.

I'm going with Eric's agency.

Fantastic! Enjoy that.

Bye, you little zit!

Whatever, old man.

You were right.

He's nothing but a little

punk with no work ethic.

What are you even doing here?

Go home and be with Ty.

He's got a girlfriend now,

too busy for his dad.

How's that for irony?

Hmm!

- Uh, I need a distraction.

- From Winnie.

"Love is the most important

thing in the world.

But baseball

is pretty good too."

Yogi Berra

always has the answers.

Mm-hmm. Sure does.

So, Mr. CEO, tell me more

about this pitcher, Jason Byrd.

Gotta sign him.

Already got him, Ret.

That's my boy.

Ah! There you are.

You're late!

I'm 10 minutes early.

Huh. Well, it always feels

like you're late.

Whoa! No, no, people!

People! Was I not clear, here!

No processed foods!

Inga, this is just like...

it's a lot...

- I know.

- It's a lot more than I bargained for.

Like, I just...

Right, right, right.

I get it. I get it.

I mean, you're the t-shirt girl.

The girl who knows

what a fourth down is.

But what sells is glamour.

So play the character.

- Play the character?

- Exactly.

You're Luckless, the girl with the most

captivating dating drama on the planet.

And soon, you'll be

a bestselling author.

Uh, Inga... Since you said

if the book was a hit,

I can write anything I want...

Anything within reason, yes.

Yeah, well, I want to write

fiction. I've started on...

Absolutely not. Never.

So what am I allowed to write?

You can write anything you want.

Uh... Dating faux pas.

Whether to get botox

or filler... Or both!

Inga, this wasn't our deal.

Well, Winnie, you wanted

to be a bestselling author.

I made that happen.

And I expect you

to act accordingly.

Don't let me down, Winnie.

Do not put that next

to the veggies!

Welcome the author of the

bestselling Luckless Guide to Love...

Uh, Dad?

Winnie Rhodes.

Yes, yes!

Winnie, your book has been

a big success. What's next?

Fiction actually.

Yeah, my next book started out

as something just for me.

But then I thought,

why not share it with the world?

Yeah, I mean, after all,

I can write whatever I want.

Yes! Go, girl!

That's what I'm talking about!

For so long, all I wanted

was to be successful.

I mean, so much so that I didn't

actually really care what the cost was.

And then I, uh...

I ended up losing someone that

meant a lot to me because of it.

- Dad! Dad, come here! Dad.

- What?

- You have to watch this.

- Nope.

- Well, hey, hey...

- Nope!

If you're not gonna watch it,

at the very least,

you have to listen!

And I'm actually working

on a novel right now,

which is about finding someone

who is perfectly imperfect.

It's called Luck Strikes.

Is this about the Player?

It's, um... It's actually

about two people.

Yeah, the Player

is a package deal.

Yeah, he has a son.

A really, really wonderful son.

And I once told him, his son,

that honesty is the best policy.

Because that's what

my dad taught me.

So, uh, yeah, I feel like the best way

to honour him is to finally be honest.

She's going to grand gesture.

My time with the Player, as you

all know it, was a mess. It was.

But you know, it wasn't entirely

how I portrayed it.

Wow.

No, it wasn't all

embarrassing and torturous.

Skeetly-beh-bah!

Most of it was actually...

really fun.

And exciting, and...

It was love.

I'm sorry to my readers

for not being true to myself.

Because the truth is,

I fell hard.

And I put my work ahead of that

because I had to

play a character.

But that's not who I am.

So I'm sorry.

That's my best friend.

But, uh... no apology

is complete without

a grand gesture,

So... here goes.

Called it.

- Oh, I think she's gonna sing.

- No way.

It had to be you...

It had to be you...

I wandered around

and finally found...

somebody who...

made me be true.

Sorry.

Oh no...

Shibbity-do, bada-dee-bada-shoo.

Oh!

Shoopity doo!

Oh, that feels good.

What is she doing?

Oh... Oh, this is really...

It had to be you!

You, you, you, you!

Shibbity-shibbity-shibbity!

It had to be you.

It's 'cause he did that.

Anyway...

It had to be you!

Wow.

I love you, Winnie.

I love you.

Thank you. Thank you.

- So?

- So? So what?

So let's go get her!

I mean, she loves you

and you love her.

Isn't this kind of obvious?

Yeah, but-

- When a girl grand gestures,

the guy has to go on this big

dramatic chase

to reunite with her.

Everybody knows that!

How do you even know this?

You're wasting time!

Just grab your keys, let's go!

- Okay. Yeah, let's go!

- Hurry up!

Winnie! Hi.

Uh, I don't know what that was

back there, but...

I should have listened

to you more.

I should have listened

to your ideas.

You're obviously

very passionate.

And I like to have a certain

amount of control over my brand,

and maybe that can

hinder progress.

I apologize.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

And I would love to help you publish

your next book. Even fiction.

Yeah, you know, I'm gonna

take some time away from Mush.

You know, just really give this

writing thing a try on my own.

I quit.

Thank you, Inga.

You're the best.

Winnie!

Did you guys just sprint here?

That was the mother

of all grand gestures.

It was, wasn't it?

But your singing...

That bad?

Marginally better than mine,

but...

I read your column.

It wasn't all bad.

Some of it was actually

pretty nice.

I should have told you.

Okay, I should have quit

a while ago but...

But I finally did today.

I got rid of Dirk.

You were right, I was too

focused on money.

Just kiss her!

Do you want to stand

in an absurdly long line

and get some ramen?

- Absolutely not.

- Yes!

- No! Never!

- Come on! Yes!

- I think we should go to...

- Ramen!

One of the fine restaurants

that I sprinted by in a blur.

- Come on, Ty.

- No lines.

Subtitling: difuze