Losin' It (1983) - full transcript

Teen sex comedy set in 1965 which follows four Los Angeles school friends, Woody, Dave, Spider, Wendell and the series of misadventures they get into when they travel south of the border to Tijuana, Mexico for a night of cruisin', causing trouble, and to settle a pact to lose their virginity before the night is over, while a young woman, named Kathy, accompanies them for different reasons: to arrange a quick divorce from her husband.

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♪♪ School bell's ringin' ♪♪

♪♪ Well, the sky's
the limit ♪♪

♪♪ Better not be
too shy to fly ♪♪

♪♪ Some say
there's been a few ♪♪

♪♪ That never come down
from the high ♪♪

♪♪ Losin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Usin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Abusin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Havin' the time
of our life ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, usin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Abusin' it ♪♪



♪♪ South of the borderline ♪

♪♪ Turns the boys into men ♪

♪♪ School's out,
but we're learnin' again ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause we're losin' it ♪♪

Yi-yi-yi.

Ha ha ha.

Eat your heart out, guys.

Hey.

♪♪ Oh, we're
breakin' all the rules ♪♪

♪♪ Freedom's
all we know ♪♪

♪♪ The law is in our heads ♪

♪♪ Anything goes ♪♪

♪♪ If anyone's afraid ♪♪

♪♪ You'd better
turn on back ♪♪



♪♪ Don't make a single
hesitation ♪♪

♪♪ Only for the ones
who know where it's at ♪♪

♪♪ Well, we're losin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Usin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Abusin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Havin' the time
of our lives ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, losin' it ♪♪

♪♪ And we're abusin' it ♪♪

♪♪ South of the borderline ♪

♪♪ Turns the boys into men ♪

♪♪ School's out,
but we're learnin' again ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause we're losin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Yeah, we're losing it ♪♪

♪♪ Tonight ♪♪

♪♪ South of the border ♪♪

♪♪ Down Mexico way ♪♪

Dave, 25%!

I'll pay for the gas!

Not a chance.

Aw, Dave, I could
make a killing!

Look, you're not going!

The last thing we want
is you tagging along.

Come on, Dave, mom won't care.

Big Dave!

Hey, today's the day.

You're going?

Aw, you luck.

Now pay attention,
ladies and gentlemen.

This affects you all.

Math team, meet
in Mr. Keebler's room

at lunch for a short meeting
before the meet.

Please be prompt...
Everyone.

This afternoon, watch
the student football team

under coach Jack
"mad dog" Wallace

make mincemeat
out of those Taft Toreadors.

Let's all turn out
and support our team.

What do you mean you can't go?

I mean, I can't go.

My parents grounded me.

You mean you told your parents?

Perlman, geez!

That creep Dave.

Hi, Larraine.

Oh!
Oh!

Do you believe him?

Give me the money.

I didn't bring the dough.

What do you mean,
you didn't bring the dough?

You promised!

Well, since I'm not going...

Perlman!

Dave!

Are we still going?

Of course!
We have a plan!

We're sticking to the plan.

The bell goes at 3:00,
so do we.

Am I right?

What about your money?

Don't worry.
I'll get the money.

Look, will you just
lend me the money?

No! Absolutely not.

I'm not in the lending business.

This will be great
for your french essay.

Bon soir.

Damn it, wimp.
It's only 95 bucks.

My name is Wendell,

and $95 is a lot of money.

I'll advance it if
you take me along.

We can't take a kid along!

We're going into
the mouth of hell.

You got a review of
David Copperfield?

Sure.
Business is business.

I go or no dough.

David Copperfield, huh?

One of my old standbys.

I just can't
believe it! You!

Carol, what did you
expect me to do?

I didn't expect you to go there.

If I can wait,
why can't you wait?

What are you going for?

You get action all the time.

Hey, variety...

It's the spice of life.

Besides, I've never
seen the donkey.

Donkey?

Yeah, you never want
to make the mistake

of going in without
your rubber on.

You catch yourself a dose.

If you go in by accident
or it breaks,

alls you gotta do is
take a little tequila,

pour it on the end
of the peckerwood.

The stuff will kill anything.

Wish I could go.

Keep drinking your milk

and someday you'll be able to.

Ha ha ha!

Heads up!

Oh, shit!

What the hell?

Eew!

Bullshit.

He didn't mean anything.

What do you think you're doing?

I'm sorry.
Don't push me.

Guys, break it up!

Church! You again!

Listen!

Oh, man.

Detention!

All right, who started this?

He did. He started
the whole thing.

Detention.

And then I said... hey!

Well, good luck, Woody.

Wish I were going
down there with you.

Going down there a kid,

come back a man, huh?

Right?

Right.

Do it once for me, will you?

♪♪ Hey, little girl
in the hot blue sweater ♪♪

♪♪ gee, but I'd like
to know you better... ♪♪

hi, Larraine.

Do you hear anything?

Not a thing.

Oww!

Excuse me.
I'm sorry.

What are you doing here?

Mr. Wonderful
will explain.

Just get in.

Hey, Spider!

Hey, Church, what do
you think you're doing?

Hey, Church, get back here!

Hey!

Dale, stop him.

Ok, coach.

All you guys, get him!

Hey, Spider,
where are you going?

To the nastiest, raunchiest,

most bitchinest place
in the whole world!

Tijuana!

Yay!
Yay!

Tijuana!

What's the wimp doing here, huh?

Don't ask.

He's going with us.

What?
Are you crazy?

It's the only way
he'd lend me the money

for the tuck and roll.

The little loan shark
can really turn the screws.

You don't want to go to Tijuana.

What are your parents
going to think?

Mom thinks I'm
staying with Billy.

Billy's covering my paper route.

Why do you want to go?

Tj's no place for you.

Firecrackers! I can sell
them at a 300% markup.

The little capitalist
has us by the short hairs.

Us? He's got you, Dave.

Well, it's my car.

Hmm.

Let's get one thing
straight, wimp.

We may be stuck with you,

but you won't ruin our trip,

just 'cause you're a brat kid.

We're going to be
as crude, filthy,

and gross as we want.

You understand that, wimp?

The name is Wendell,

and why should today
be any different?

You got to win her respect

because even a whore
likes a man she can respect.

You stay here with the wheels.

Bring me some twinkies.

What makes you
think you're so hot?

Shit! They can take
their store and cram it.

Hey, baby, what's happening?

Move it, punk.

What's that all about?

Anyway, the way to
win her respect...

Is you gotta make her come.

It's the only way
to win her respect.

The only way is to Jack off
her so you're not too horny.

She is so cheap!

Look, you're acting like a fool.

I don't care
if I act like a fool.

I feel like a fool!

It was just a physical thing.

Oh, fine, well,

that makes it all right,
doesn't it?

You're making too
much out of this.

Too much?

Hey, I thought we
had something here.

Me and you, buster!

You're making a mountain
out of a molehill!

Why are you
walking away from me?

There's work to do!

Fine, fine.
Let's not talk about it.

Let's let it ruin our lives.

You don't get married
just to work!

What can I tell you?

You could have told her no!

Yes, I know Nancy Harrison.

How about knowing my husband!

Let's get out of here.

Don't sass me!
I've got eyes.

I can see what's
going on! You...

Look, what are you going to do?

Kath... are you going to go?

Oh, that's good. Just go.
Great. Fine.

Just go, Kathy!
See if I care!

Kathy!

Don't you dare
get in that truck!

Bitchin'.

It's like a dream.

Let's go.

Coke.

Let's go!

Yahoo!

Come on, Dave.

Dave?
Jesus Christ.

Let's get some M&Ms.

There you go.

Here. Grab a pretzel,
Woody.

We... we better get out of here.

Look, you're not...

I've had enough!

Ok. One more.

Come on, dude.

Ok. Listen.
Just act natural.

What am I supposed to do?

I've heard enough!

Hey!

You stole this stuff!

Oh, what gives you that idea?

Please get out of that...

Goodbye, Larry.

Kathy, come back here!

Look out!

Larry, please...

Look out!
Turn the...

Oh!

Oh, no!

Wait!

My store!

Go!

What?

Go!

Stop.

What?

Stop.

Where are we going?

We're going to Mexico.

Tijuana?

I'm going to Tijuana

to get a divorce!

A Tijuana divorce!
So there!

Move it!

Kathy!

Hey, Kathy! Kathy!

Hey, you guys, come back here!

Where are you going
with my wife!

Hey! Hey!

You think I'm kidding
about divorcing him.

Damn, yes!
I am going to divorce him!

I wouldn't run into all you guys

if it wasn't for the best.

My name is Kathy.

Hi. I'm... Woody.

Uh-huh.

I'm Spider.

Hi.

This is the wimp.

Wendell.

Nice to meet you.

Hi, Wendell.

Clarkman.
David clarkman.

Oh.

Do you mind?

This food, where did you get it?

This is our price sticker!

You stole this stuff!
Stop the car.

Look, we're sorry.
We didn't mean to...

We're from poor families.

We haven't had a decent meal...

You stole it because
you're no-good kids.

You're right, lady.

Shut up!

Look, we're really
sorry. Honest.

Here. We'll even
give it back.

We haven't even
opened these, ok?

I don't care!

Rob all you want!

I hate that place.
Hate it!

I'm free now.

♪♪ Free ♪♪

Maybe we ought to ditch her.

Are you kidding, man?

I think I can
get into her pants.

Dave, you don't want to do that.

Why?

Because she's having
a nervous breakdown,

that's why.

So? I got to pee.

Do you believe him?

Fat chance he's got, huh?

That's two cents.

Hey.

Oh! Sorry.

Hmm. Uhh.

Ohh!

My God.

♪♪ I took my troubles
down to madame rue ♪♪

♪♪ You know that gypsy
with the gold tattoo ♪♪

♪♪ She's got a pad
on 34th and vine ♪♪

♪♪ Selling
little bottles of ♪♪

♪♪ Love potion number nine ♪

♪♪ I told her that I was
a flop with chicks ♪♪

♪♪ I'd been this way
since 1956... ♪♪

Hey!

Yay! Whoo!
Get a horse!

♪♪ Love potion number nine ♪

They're just
waving them through.

No search, nothing.

Nobody cares what you
bring into Mexico.

It's coming out
you gotta sweat it.

You can buy anything
in Tijuana...

Drugs, spanish fly.

You've been there a lot?

Well, never, but we've
all heard about it.

Well, there's no such thing
as spanish fly.

Oh, yeah?

I heard from first-hand
experience.

This guy I know at city college

got a hold of them
spanish flies,

and used 'em on his girlfriend

'cause she wasn't
putting out for him.

You see, he made a big mistake.

He gave her a whole one

when he should have
given her half.

Anyway, he left her
alone for a few minutes,

went into a liquor
store, came out.

You wouldn't believe
what he found.

The girl on the
gearshift knob dead.

There. You see?
You see?

You know him, don't you?

Same story, Dave.

You shouldn't talk that way

in front of your little brother.

Thanks, but I'm
already used to it.

Yuck!

Yee-haw!
Yee-haw!

Look!

Stop the car.
Pull over.

Well, this is as far as I go.

Kathy, after you're through,

why don't we have a
drink or something?

That's funny.

Bye, now.

Bye.

I thank you.

Thank you, David.
Thank you, all.

Wendell, don't let them
get you into any trouble!

She shot you down, Spider.

Old Spider's losing his touch.

First time for everything.

Hola, señora.

How are you this fine day?

Great.

What can I do for you?

I'd like a divorce.

It should be
around here someplace.

There's an upholstery
shop right there.

That's no good.
vaca negro's the best.

Oh, shit.

There's a cop on our tail.

No, no!
Don't look back!

What's the big deal, man?

We haven't done anything.

Haven't you heard
about the tj cops

and the Tijuana jails?

They throw you in
and throw away the key.

Holy shit.

This is just what I need.

Hello, officer.

How you doing?

'57 belair, huh?

Yes, sir.

Pop the hood.

Iandale!

Full house, eh?

Yeah. It's a 301

backed by, uh, dual quads there.

Englebrock manifold,
hooker headers,

with electric cutouts...

That's right.

I put a lot of
hours in this baby.

What's the E.T.?

15.76.

This would make one
hell of a police car.

Did I tell a joke?

Huh? Why did you laugh?

No reason.

Sometimes I just...

I see many expensive cars

cross the border with boys
like you driving them.

How does such a boy get
the money for such a car?

I work for it.

And you make enough
to buy this car?

Well, not exactly.

I mean, my parents
loaned me some of the money.

Most of the money.

I see.

Close the hood.

Oh, um, your right
brake light is out.

Oh, man, come on.

Did your friend say something?

No, sir...

How much do you want?

What?

Isn't that what
this is all about?

Spider!

We ain't got mucho dinero,

so how about 5 bucks
and you let us go, huh?

I mention the brake light

because someone might hit you.

True, it is a violation.

He wants more money.

Will you shut up?

Are you doing business
with that man there?

I am getting it tuck-and-rolled.

Hey, Chuey.

Si.

Si, jefe.

Ok.
As a favor to him,

I'll forget what
just happened here.

But your friend should go home

and learn some manners.

Yes, sir.

Thank you, sir.

I got this funny feeling.

This feeling that I
just might see you again.

Let's hope not.

Do you swear that
this information

is the truth, so help you god?

I do.

Fine.

Sign over here, please.

Is that it?

Not quite.

Have this notarized
in the united states.

Mail it back to me

with the proper documentation.

The moment I have received it

from our giant, friendly
neighbors to the north,

you are a free woman.

May I give you one
small piece of advice?

Go home directly.

Do not stay in Tijuana.

Your emotions are too
delicate at this moment

for this uncouth place.

Listen, you know what
you've got to be careful of?

That they don't stuff your
seats with horseshit.

No lie. It happened
to a friend of mine.

They dry it so
you can't smell it,

but as soon as it gets wet...

Come on.

That's why you're staying
here and watching them.

Forget it.
I'm here on business.

What? I brought you
here against my will.

Help me, or you're
taking the bus home.

If you... aah!
Which is it?

Stop! Stop!

The bus home?

You nervous?

After all, there's
only one first time.

Come on.

I believe these are
the colors you wanted?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

That's going to look sharp.

Come on, Dave.
Any time you're ready.

Look, my brother's staying
with the car for a while,

but we'll be back
to get him, ok?

I understand.

Well?

Let's go.
See you, wimp.

Later, wimp.

Come on in, kid.

Where is the center of Tijuana?

Ah. Si. Gracias.

Que nada.

♪♪ south of the border ♪♪

♪♪ Down Mexico way ♪♪

♪♪ That's where
I fell in love ♪♪

♪♪ When the stars above
began to play ♪♪

Hey, shut up, ok?

Shh. Listen.
Listen to that.

Is that music?

Hey, you!

You three gringos!

Come up and see me, huh?

Oh, my god.

I think I love you.

Come on up.

Hey, sailors!
I love sailors.

Special rate for two sailors.

Come up and see me.

Where's the stairs?

You don't go with
the first one you see.

Yes, I do.

Hey! Don't go away!

Look over there.

See what they've got in there?

Hey, Woody. Woody.

That's what you came
to Tijuana for.

Looks good, doesn't she?

Sure you can
handle that, big guy?

How you doing?

Hey!

Come to the China Club!

Oriental girls!

They do 100 sexy positions.

And look at this one!

Welcome to the Big Sombrero!

Home of the big hat
with the big hole!

M-80s, cherries, cherry bombs.

Two for $1.00.

All right.

Thank you.

Show's starting
right away, boys.

Come on...

Oh, amigo, I have
to talk with you.

Me?

Yeah. I help you,
you help me.

I lose all my money
at the jai alai.

I've got to sell
my grandfather's watch.

It's an antique.
Solid gold.

Genuine Bulova. $10.

$10?

Switchblade!

Bullwhips!

The baddest switchblades
in all Tijuana!

Hey, $5.50. Come back!
$1.00, hey!

The old Aztec Club.

We got 'em right here...

Best-looking chicks
in town, boys.

Looks good to me.

Let me show you
what it's all about.

Hey, hey, hey!
Step this way,

if you're looking for
someplace to meet somebody.

Welcome to La Tunga Lei.

You get it?

We got the filthiest,
juiciest girls in Tijuana!

You have my word as a gentleman.

Come on, guys. Let's
see what it's like.

I don't know.

He's your friend.
A wise decision!

You have my word as a gentleman.

Go right in.

Don't look so bashful, boy.

Here you grow up.

What'd I tell you?

Welcome to the palace
of the polynesian pleasure.

This way please, gentlemen.

All right, ladies and gentlemen,

let's give a big hand
to miss Jacki Paar!

All right, miss Jacki Paar!

All right,
ladies and sex maniacs,

we have a rare
connubial privilege

for you horny fuckers here.

All right, direct from
the Casino de Paree,

the toast of the continent,

miss Ursula Undress!

Hey, let's get out of here.

Would you like some company?

Be our guests.

Sure.

What you drink?

Whiskey.

Three whiskeys.
For the gentlemen?

Just beer.

Wait. How much is
this going to cost?

$1.00 for beer,
$2.00 for whiskey.

Two bucks for whiskey?

Hey, that's just...

Uh, that's a reasonable price.

A very reasonable price.

You are huge.

Well...

We go upstairs later, huh?

What's upstairs?

Oh, you'll like it upstairs.

We have the movies,
the bedrooms.

You see?

Told you I had a feeling
about this place.

Gracias, señoritas.

You'll have a good picture.

How does this look?

Hey, taxi, lady?

I'll take you wherever you want.

No, thank you.

You just have to
hold still and smile.

How's that?

very good. Hold it.

Wait till Fred sees this.

He's going to die.

No! Dammit!
Don't touch that!

It's mine!

No! No!
No! Get off!

I'm sorry about this.

Andale, andale.

The boys went to do
things boys do, huh?

Yes.

You know, americans
always leave somebody here.

You know why?

No.

To make sure

we don't stuff the
seats with horse manure.

Sir, can you tell me

where I can get
cherry bombs and m-80s?

Ernesto...

it's kind of dark in here.

Maybe we should've bought
those switchblades.

Keep your wallet hid, ok?

I'll go happy.
I'll experiment, man.

Experiment?
Like what?

Positions, knucklenose.

I'll yell for you fellas.

Just at the point of climax,

the feeling is twice as...

What's going on?

You have good time.
Nice girls up there.

What about you?

Bye-bye.

Nice girls up there.

But we want those girls.

Those girls work in the bar.

You'll like these girls.

Go up there.

Hey, come on.

Come on!

Here he is,

the one, the only-

Groucho!
Groucho!

We have a big night tonight...

Don't push me.
Jesus.

Now, you choose.

We're getting screwed here,

and we still got our clothes on.

Dibs on the blonde
with the big tits.

I don't believe you, Dave.

Sure, with the girls downstairs,

but these?

What's with you, Woody?

Show some hair.

You want to tell everybody
you chickened out?

We'll give you first choice.

Just don't choose
the one with big tits.

See the woman in black?

She looks pretty good, huh?

Ooh-ooh!

Hello.

Hi.

Hi, there.

Excuse me.

Would you like to, uh...

Si, si.

Go, Woody!

You're wearin make-up?

I thought this was
just your innate beauty.

You want to come with me?

Uh...

How are you doing, darling?

Ooh.

Ooh, that's rough.

Rough, huh?

It's great.
All these women!

Have you been working here long?

$10?

That's right, little man.

Oh, uh...

Uno momento.

Ok?

Don't go nowhere.

What the hell?

'Scuse us.

Whoo!

La Tunga Lei, the Palace
of Polynesian Pleasure

presents the Tijuana blue.

Oh, shit.

Momentito, ok?

I'll be right back.

Just one second.

I can hardly wait.

♪♪ When high school punks
come across the border ♪♪

♪♪ Their wallets get thin
and their dicks get shorter ♪♪

♪♪ Eh, Bob Reebo ♪♪

$10.

Dave, what are you doing?

I'm negotiating.
Why, what's up?

I forgot the rubbers.
You got them?

Did you give Woody his?

No. Would you?
Second door on the left.

Woody, you forgot your rubbers.

Get out of here!

♪♪ I know a señorita ♪♪

♪♪ Her name's Rosanne ♪♪

♪♪ She uses a tortilla
for a diaphragm ♪♪

Come on, baby,
take off your clothes.

I mean, uh, don't you, uh...

Shouldn't we turn
the light out first?

Ok, baby.

We turn off the lights.

You think I'm pretty?

Yes, ma'am, I...

I think you're very pretty.

$10.

Look, if Frank Sinatra
came in here,

you'd do it with him
for 4 bucks.

You're not Frankie Sinatra.

Yeah, but is Frankie
built like this?

$15.

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

I said knock, knock!

Who's there?!

Eisenhower!

Eisenhower who?

♪♪ I's an hour late
for the gangbang ♪♪

♪♪ Yes, I am ♪♪

I, uh, forgot my rubber.

Did you remember
to bring your dick?

Come on, squirt.

Wait, uh, just a second.

Hey, Woody, here's
for your first bang.

Son-of-a-bitch!

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Tijuana!

Tijuana who?

♪♪ Tijuana bring your mother
to the gangbang? ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, yes, you do ♪♪

♪♪ It's been a long time
since she's had a stroke ♪♪

♪♪ When she was younger
and in her prime ♪♪

♪♪ She used to gangbang
all the time ♪♪

Yee-hah!

You are a virgin.

No, I'm not a virgin.

No, no, no.
It's all right.

We are all virgins once...

And only once.

I'm not a virgin.

Really, I'm not a virgin.

You don't have to
do this, you know.

You don't hurt my feelings.

Look, I'll pay you.

No, no, no, no, no.

Look, keep your money.

Maybe some other time...

Johnny hot rocks la tunga lei!

Fuck you!

Ok, babe.

Show me them beauties

you've been hiding
from big Dave.

Oh, my god.

Listen, I don't
want you faking anything.

You don't come, I want to know.

$5.00 extra, I come.

Ok?

Ok.

Hey.

Celebrating, huh?

Yeah.

Give me two of these.

Por favor, señor.

Well, how did it go?

It was great.

Really great.

Really great?

Pretty great.

Great.

Hey, where's your jacket?

I must have left it upstairs.

Get going.
Grab it fast,

or you'll never see it again.

Forget it.

Come on, I'll go
up there with you.

I said forget it, Spider.

It's only a jacket.

Hey, what's with you?

I don't care about
the jacket, that's all.

You didn't do it
with her, did you?

Did you?

Maybe I changed my mind.

Maybe you chickened out.

Come this way!

This is the Tunga Lei,

the greatest shows today!

The raunchiest, the sexiest.

Don't be afraid to come inside.

Let's go, man.

You can't
take it? Ok.

How you doing, good-looking?

All right.

Listen, amigo,

is there a quiet place
to get a drink,

a place a lady can go

and not be bothered?

Sure. Step
right inside.

I want a quiet place.

Lady, the Tunga Lei
is the quietest place

in all of Tijuana.

You have my word as a gentleman.

Step right in.

Hey, guys...

How's it going?

Sorry I asked.

So...

Who died?

Bartender, another round

and a margarita for me.

Where's Dave and Wendell?

Wendell's on ice
at the upholstery,

and Dave's still upstairs.

Upstairs?

Oh, upstairs.

How come you guys
aren't with him?

Only one girl?

We've already been.

Ohh.

Well...

Let's drink to...
Mission accomplished,

and I've got great news.

In Tijuana, they sell penicillin

over the counter.

What?

Dave is...

He heard it felt good

if you yelled when you climaxed.

Oh, lord.

How did you get all wet?

I fell in a wishing well.

Did you get your wish?

I'm a divorcee.

Well, almost.

Hey, look, I'll drink to that.

Oh, boy.
Didn't we decide

that you were
a little young for me?

Yeah.

But I always said

you can teach an old dog
new tricks, hmm?

Thanks.

That your best line
with older women?

Yeah.

Works like a charm.

I can imagine.

Guess your husband's
got a better line, huh?

When he's out getting
his wick dipped.

Now, Spider...

That's not funny.

No? Truth hurts?

Just not funny.

I guess it is pretty pathetic.

Hey!

You can be pretty insensitive.

Ooh, insensitive?

Knock it off.

What's with you?

I'm tired of listening to it.

She called me insensitive.

Well, maybe she's right.

Are you going
to get in her pants

by betraying your best friend?

Bullshit.

Oh, man.

Anyway, after what
happened upstairs,

I doubt you could do anything

if you did get into her pants.

You're a real jerk,
you know that?

Woody.

Woody, wait a minute.

Let me look at your face.

It's fine.

No, it's not.

Ice will keep the swelling down.

I'll get some.

I'll just tag along.

Woody, I need company.

Do you think
it's any easier for me?

After all I've
been through today...

Company helps.

You don't have to talk.

I can talk enough
for both of us.

Yeah, that's true.

You talk more than
anybody I've ever met,

except for Dave.

Thanks, Ernesto.

Is your name Trini?

Yes.

I'd like to do
business with you.

200 cherry bombs, 40 torpedoes,

10 packs of 2-inchers,
10 packs strangers,

a dozen ladyfingers,
and 4 skyrockets.

You have money for all this?

Yes. And I don't
want to bargain.

Deal straight with me,

I'll deal straight with you.

Layed, relayed, and parlayed.

Did you hear me yell?

It really works.

You just have to yell
your brains out.

What's the matter with you?

Nothing.

Well, then?

Take off, will you?

You don't have to be so...

Just take off!

¿¿Que sabor?

No.

No. Gracias.

Ah, un boxeador?

Pugilante.

Para la señorita?

Si.

Gaya caballero.

Amigo, I lost all my
money in the Jai Alai.

What are you selling?

Grandfather's watch.

It's an antique.

Solid silver.

Genuine Bulova.

It's not an antique.

It's not solid silver.

It isn't even a Bulova.

I know their trademark.

It's not nice to take
advantage of someone naive.

Amigo, wait!

Only the most beautiful women,

each carefully selected

for the beauty of their body

and the depravity of their mind.

Hey, what are you doing here?

You're supposed to watching my car.

Your car's ok.

I came here to buy firecrackers,

so I bought them.

You know what that guy's
doing right now?

He's stuffing my seats
with horseshit.

No, he's not.

How do you know?
That happened to my friend.

You and your friend
both come inside.

What?!

This is my
little brother, buddy!

Dave!

Come on.

The nerve of that guy!

What's wrong with you?

I got something on my mind.

What?

Sex.

Sex is different with me.

I need it all the time.

I'm going to make her beg.

Her who?

Larraine Lica.

She's shot me down
for the last time.

She's going to get on
hands and knees and beg.

You know what I'm going to use?

A hydrogen bomb?

Wouldn't you like to know?

Hey, buddy there.

How do I get to see the donkey?

The Blue Fox.

Get in.
I'll take you.

Tell me where it is.

Do I look like the office
of tourist information?

I only know the way
to the Blue Fox if I drive.

Yeah, thanks.

Let me hold this.

Thank you.

It's hard to believe
this is the same town.

Don't you think?

Yeah.

Wait there.

Why?

Just sit down!

Hello.

I'd like six of your
best spanish flies, please.

No comprende ingles, señor.

What?

No habla ingles.

You no speakie english?

Hmm.

Zzzzzzz.

Fly...

Uh...

Español. Spanish fly.

You understand?

No, sorry, sir.

Zzzzzzz.

Fly!

Espanol. Spanish fly.
You understand?

I better do this different.

Señorita...

Ok?

Señorita and a señor.

The señor has zzz
español. Spanish fly.

He takes his zzz español

and gives it to the señorita.

The señorita takes zzz español
and eats it.

Now the señor waits
a few minutes...

And soon the señorita
feels real hot.

Just real hot.

She's starting
to foam at the mouth.

And this guy waits
a few minutes longer,

and takes the señorita
and... ehh ehh ehh!

And just fucks her brains loose!

You get it?

Momento, si.

Oh, jeez. Aah!

Run!

First you take a bite of lime.

Ok.

Then you take a swig.

That's it.
Not too much.

Now lick a little salt.

Now you know why they
call it "to kill ya."

funny part about it...

About what?

Larry.

He could never
tell me he loved me.

Or needed me.

You know what he's
doing right now?

Nothing.

Nada.

He would never admit to himself,

let alone to anybody else,

that he needed me
or wanted me back.

Pathetic.

Let's not talk
about him anymore.

You want to dance?

Yeah.

Yes.

Taxi?

No, thanks.

I got what you want.

You got spanish fly?

Spanish fly?

I got the best
spanish fly in Tijuana.

How much?

For you? $10 apiece.

6 for $10, and it's a deal.

Ok, ok.

6 for $10. You
bargain me down.

Dave, Kathy said
there's no such thing.

Shut up, would you?

Do you have a girlfriend?

Not really.

Probably a nice girl

who wants to wait
till she's married.

I was one of those girls, too.

You can see what it got me.

My husband...
Ex-husband.

Almost ex-husband.

What happened to your jacket?

I left it back there.

Upstairs.

Don't worry about
what happened upstairs.

Or didn't happen.

You're like I am, Woody.
You need romance.

If you were m...

I mean, if...

If I were your age?

Would you be interested

in dating a guy like me?

Hmm.

Yeah?

Yeah.

You're with the number
one man in Tijuana.

I know this town
like my own hand.

Seems like you're
taking the long way?

Only one place
for the best spanish fly.

If you want something
less powerful...

No, we want the best,
the most powerfulest.

This is the most best.

But you have to be careful.

A friend gave one to his girl.

A whole one. He leave
her in the car.

When he come back, she's
stuck on the gearshift.

Listen, if you want
some other thing,

maybe some good marijuana...

Marijuana?

I know all about that stuff.

It's bad news.

Si. It's bad for you.

Start on that,

pretty soon, you're
hooked on heroin.

I've seen guys on that stuff.

It makes them think they can fly

and jump off buildings and that.

very bad for you.

Please don't talk about it

while my brother's in the car.

Ok.

Not bad.

For an old-timer, you mean.

Pretty bombed.

Really?

♪♪ Say it's all right ♪♪

♪♪ It's all right ♪♪

♪♪ Say it's all right ♪♪

♪♪ It's all right ♪♪

Those kids can really dance.

♪♪ Have a good time
'cause it's all right ♪♪

What?

Nothing.

I mean...

I really don't know
how to say this.

I mean...

Do you...

I mean, would you...

♪♪ you got soul
and everybody knows ♪♪

♪♪ That it's all right ♪♪

Oh, give me a little kiss.

Come on, sonny.

Tequila.

When's the donkey go on?

You'll know when.

After a while.

You're going in there?

You want the best spanish fly.

I've already been in there.

He tried to shoot me.

He has to be careful.

This is very illegal.

I know this man.
He trusts me.

He doesn't know you.
¿¿Comprende?

I get you.

It shows to go you,

you got to have connections.

Yeah.

You'll get exactly
what you deserve, Dave.

I told you he could get them.

She'll be begging for it.

Here you go.

The last six he had.

I gave him
an extra $2.00.

So that's 12 I owe you?

Remember, they're extra
strong, so half a pill.

Right, right.

There's 4 more for the taxi.

Damn, that cleans me.

I guess we'll walk back.

Yeah, it's faster.

Buenas noches, can I help you?

Ah, yes. We would like a room please.

Well...

here we are.

Here we are.

You probably think I'm...

I'm kind of a sophisicated older woman.

I'm not.

I wish I were.

It might make all of
this alot easier.

Well, uh. Maybe not easy.

You see, uh.

I've never even kissed another guy.

I mean, since I was married.

So...

Donkey, donkey, donkey!

Jesus!

Sorry.

Asshole!

Look, I said I was sorry. OK?

What am I supposed to do now?

You can pull it over your
head and suck on it.

Oh yeah, Pussy?

Get your hands off me.

That's Mr. Pussy to you. Alright?

Fight!

Wimp. I'm not like ordinary guys.

I got more of those hormones or something.

You know, like a male nymphomaniac.

I feel sorry for you, Dave.

Then loan me a few bucks, so I
can go to another whorehouse.

Forget it.

I'm foaming at the mouth.

I can't keep it down anymore.

Down boy, down boy.

Gross.

What?

Look at that set of jugs.

Dave, don...

Hello.

Will you settle down?!

What's the matter, you deaf?

All right.

Everybody take it easy, eh?

Get off.

Hey, cut that!
Hey, you!

You.

Whee. Whee.

I didn't mean
to come on too strong.

The music's bitchin'.

Thought you'd like to dance.

Thanks anyways.

Have I got B.O.
Or something?

Please, go away.

That sure is good-looking
punch you got there.

I'll tell you what.

I'll be right over there

if you want me
for any reason at all.

I'll be right over there
waiting, ok?

Just remember.

Struck out, huh?

Yeah, right, wimp.

Soon she'll be over
here begging for it.

What do you mean?

I slipped her some fly.

What?
You're pretty lucky.

Why's that?

If I thought that stuff
really worked,

I'd tell her.

Say one word,

they'll eat you
for tacos tomorrow.

Relax and wait till
the stuff takes hold.

Come on.

Lay off me.

You come down here
for a good time?

I'll show you one.

Get in there!

Are you ok?

Was it something I did wrong?

No. It was wonderful.

Everything it used to be
a long time ago with him.

Spider?

No. Larry.

That was Spider
in that police car.

Are you sure?

That's the road out of town.

Come on.

This is ridiculous.
How long...

Hey, look. It's
starting to take effect.

She's getting twitchy.

That was a mosquito, Dave.

Hey, look.

Did I show you my new watch?

That's a genuine Bulova.

Oh, uh... Solid
gold, too, I'll bet.

That's right.

Hey! Check out
that model A.

You are interested
in something besides sex.

Hey-y-y.
Boss model A. Yours?

Yeah.

What have you got in it?

A Chevy block and a
La Salle transmission.

A La Salle
transmission? Bitchin'.

Where did you find it?

I work in a junkyard.

Got any more there?

No.
You got a car?

I got a '57 Chevy
getting tuck-and-rolled

at vaca Negro's.

Chuey. He does
good work.

You gotta be careful

he doesn't stuff your
seats with horseshit.

What?

I'm just kidding.
Just a joke.

Just a joke.

Hey, you got lots of
nice-looking girls around here.

There's lots of good-looking
women in Tijuana.

You ever use spanish fly
on them?

There's no such thing.

That's just for the tourists.

Oh, yeah?
Take a look at these.

That's aspirin.

Bullshit. I paid 3 bucks
a piece for those.

Maybe so.
It's still aspirin.

We'll see about that.
See that chick over there?

Which chick?

The chick standing
right over there.

She'll be climbing
the walls soon.

That chick right there?

Mm-hmm.

That chick is my sister, man.

Hey!

Put him in the car.

I'm going to teach yo
a lesson, Chulo,

you and your friend.

Put him in.

Don't hurt me!

What the hell do you
think you're doing?

Hey, I didn't mean it!

Stop this car
right now! Stop it!

All right, let's go.

Come on.

Look, can't we work this out?

I told you to go home

and learn some manners, kid.

Now you will learn them here.

Get inside!

What if he's not at the jail?

He's got to be there.

If they took him this way,
he's in the Tijuana jail.

He'll need a good lawyer.

This man... he's the best
lawyer in all Tijuana.

Morales.

Oh, I know this guy.

He does divorces, right?

Just tell him Carlos sent you.

Ok if I sit here?

You ask me
if you want something.

Sorry. I didn't know.

Is it ok if I sit here?

No.

All right.

Not there.

Give me a break, will you?

El quiere su mama.

You want your mama?

Hey, look...

I'm your mama here.

Don't do that.

You fight me.

You win, you do
anything you want.

I don't want to fight you, ok?

Come on.

Bye-bye, gringo.

Now you can sit there.

How many times

does a guy
got to say he's sorry?

How was I to know
she was your sister?

You knew she
was somebody's sister.

Excuse me.

Yes.

We saw you drive by
with our friend.

Did you bring him here?

Yes. He's
in the jail.

Go to the line, and
talk to the officer.

What did he do?

How do we get him out?

You don't get him out.

What do you mean?

Perdoname, señor.

Oh, hablas español, señorita.

Would it be possible

to speak with you a
moment... Privately?

I'm scared, Dave.

What are they going to do to us?

I don't know.

Leave him alone.
He's just a kid!

We won't hurt him.

We want him to see
what we do to you.

You wanted a La Salle
transmission.

There's one back here.

I don't really want one.

Help!

I'm sorry, wimp!

You're not suggesting a bribe?

Oh, of course not.

We would just like

to pay his fine in advance.

Ok?

I don't like to see
american boys in jail,

but your friend is held
on a serious charge.

The fine could be quite large.

How large?

Uh... Maybe, uh...
$3,000.

$3,000?

We can't pay that much.

Ok. He goes before
the judge tomorrow.

Wait. What will
the judge give him?

Oh, three, four years.

If you want to see me,
I'll be in my office.

Senor, why are you...

What did he really do?

He pissed me off.

Hey.

Lookee here.

As they say,

every cloud has a silver lining.

Get up, geek.

Get up before I
stomp you to death.

Is it just you,

or do I have to take on
all three of you?

Wise ass.

It's because of you
we're in here.

Yeah?

Welcome to my cell.

If you want to talk to my friend

or anybody else,

you talk to me first.

¿¿Comprende?

Ay-yi-yi.

What about his family?

His mother, you mean.

She hasn't got any money.

She doesn't care what
happens to him anyway.

Wait a minute.

Come on.

Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

What are you doing?

You'll find out.

Find out what?

We're not going
to hurt him, are we?

We're just going to scare
the hell out of him.

Despacio, huh?

Hey, Chulo.

You ever hear of
the Ouacan revenge?

No.

In Mexico, we have
an old custom.

When a man makes
his masculine parts

offensive to those around him,

the offending organ...

Is eliminated.

What?

Ha ha ha!

Armando, bajalo.

Oh, no! No!
Please, don't!

Hey, you, gringo.

Me?

Let's go. Your fine
has been paid.

Adios, amigo.

Adios.

Hey.

The MPs will have
us out of here,

and when they do, you're dead.

Yeah? Says who,
dick-breath?

Jesus.

Listen, I'm sorry about...

Forget it.

Let's go.

Thanks a lot.

Americans like you
come to Mexico to do things

you wouldn't do
in your own country.

This is our country, man.

That's right, ese.

You treat us like pigs.

You think we're dirty
because our town's dirty.

This isn't our town, man.

This is your town.

Without you and people like you,

there would be no Tijuana.

Armando, bajalo.

Mas.

I didn't mean it!

No! No!

Oh, no! No!
Please, don't!

Wimp! Aah!

No! No!

No, please!

Please don't!

You are huge.

Our money! We'll
give you our money!

Please! Wimp!
Give them the... wimp!

Hey, where's the kid?

My car!

Just wait till you come back!

Vamos!

Oh, gosh.

Wimp!

Hurry!

Don't worry, Dave.
I'll get you down.

Hurry! Hurry!

Wimp! The other way!

Don't just sit there!
Do something!

Come on! They're
going to kill us!

We're going to die!

Thank god!

Wimp, hurry!

They're going to kill us!

Hey, come back!

Pussies!

Friggin' pussies!

Ha ha ha!

Wimp!

Watch out!

Wimp!

My name is Wendell.

I love you, Wendell!
I love you, Wendell!

All right, let's go.

¿¿Que pasa, Chuey?

Hola, jefe.

Nos a ver el trabajo, hombre.

Hey, that is beautiful.

That's a nice job.

Let's get to business.

Where's your friend who owns it?

He'll be here any minute.

¿¿Jefe, que lo esta pasando?

Aqui no pasa nada.

El carro es mio, mano.

Is this true?

Yes, uh... We made a deal.

You're not going to
believe what happened.

We were almost murdered,

but wimp... I mean Wendell

saved our lives, I swear.

Oh, yeah?

Some weird things have
happened here, too, Dave.

What's that cop doing to my car?

He's looking at
your motor. Dave...

I don't trust that guy.

Kathy, you'll never
believe what happened.

What? What is it?

How much is your car worth?

I wouldn't sell it
for a million bucks.

You know that.

Dave.
What? What?!

It's a long story,
but all that's important

is they threw Spider
in the Tijuana jail.

They were going
to give him 4 years.

To get him out, I told that cop

you'd give him your car.

I know it's bad, but we're all...

Give him my car?

You're out of your mind!

Hold on.
This is my baby.

Old yo-yo's been making
deals without my say-so.

What do you mean?

Just what I said.

You lied to me, huh?

"Lie," sir, is a strong word.

I truly believed
Dave would give up...

Wait a second.
This isn't my fault.

I like Spider,

but these are my wheels
you're talking about.

Look, you want a car?

Why don't you take that car?

It's got mexican plates.

Where did you get that car?

There were these guys,

and they took me
to the junkyard and...

You stole the car, huh?

Wait a second!

You're going to go to jail, too.

You straighten
the thing out there.

Reconsider the original
offer, Dave.

What?

Give him your car.

Give him your car.

Uh, sir...

What?

I've reconsidered, and I...

You can have my car.

How about this?

I take your car,

I take that car,

and I take you to jail.

I mean right now.

Come on, move it.

Hold it up.

I've got an idea.

What idea? What?

You're going to go to jail, too.

I got another deal.

I don't want to hear
any more of your deals.

Deal!
I want to offer you...

Aah!
Aah!

Get his gun.

I'm going to slap your face.

Let me get the handcuffs.

verygood.

Hold his hands up.

Get rid of it!

Ow!

A little bit farther over here.

The car!

Get in the car!

You will never get out of this!

Let's go.

Come on, out of here, let's go.

Out of here!

Where are the keys?

You forgot to pay
for the tuck-and-roll.

Pay him, pay him,
Wendell. David.

Chuey, what are you doing?

Here. It's all
there, Chuey.

Hey.

Chuey!

Dave, come on!

Stop!

Go!

Hey, muchachos,
take me with you!

We can follow them!

Wait for me, hombres!

Hey!

Chuey!

¿¿Por que lo diste
la llave, mano?

Porque me pagaron
por el tuck-and-roll.

Oh, no.

Carro, mano.

¡Apaganlo!

¿¿Te pasa?

Ha ha ha!

Who are they?

Those guys want to
kill me and Wendell.

We gotta get across the border.

Where is the border?

Isn't it back the other way?

It's straight.

That's it over there.

All right, playboy, get in.

¡Ay cabrón!!

What really pisses me off
about leaving T.J.

Is we won't get another
crack at that punk.

Hey, that was...
Oh, no!

Whooooaa!

God damn it!

What happened?

They went that way!

All right!

Get those mothers!

Hey, hey, hey!

Stop the car.

Larry!

Larry!

I don't believe it.

What are you doing?

There was a pepsi
bottle down here.

You son of a...

Light me.

¿¿Que pasó?

¡Ay, chinga!

Aah!

Banzai!

To the border!

Simply savages.

Best body shop in all Tijuana.

Tell them Fernando sent you.

Oh, no, we're cooked!

We can't make it across that.

What are we going to do?

Se venden dulces de Mexico.

He'll be here any second.

Just pray your guts out.

Where the hell are you going?

Oh, that's great.

He's the one that
got us into this.

Jerk!

Excuse me, sir.

Yeah, what is it?

I just wanted to say

if you find anything
in that red '57 Chevy,

I didn't have anything
to do with it.

In fact, I hardly
know those guys.

Is that a fact?

Just keep it going now.

Pass right through here.

Moving right along.

That's it.
Nice and easy.

Right up through here.

Phil, you want to grab that?

Got it.

Will he come after us?

Not a chance.

He can't say we
reneged on a bribe.

Just a little further.

Hey, Mike,

I think I found something.

Oh, that.

It's just a sock.

Take them down.

Take them down!

It's just a joke.

Pull it out.

Just an empty sock.

No, thanks.

Two points.

Did you check in there already?

Yeah.

What are you,

some kind of wise guy?

You got a real
funny friend there.

Ok, boys, put it back together.

Wait, no.

Let me put it back together.

Seriously, you're
going to scratch it.

I just can't get over

seeing him down there like that.

You still love him, don't you?

Listen, Kathy...

I live in oceanside.

Oh, my god.

It's him.

Larry!

Larry!

I've been looking
for you all night.

I saw you.
I couldn't believe it.

I thought I lost you.

We have a lot to talk about.

Kathy.

Could you wait
right here just a minute?

I'll be right back.

Well...

Here we are.

Yeah.

Here we are.

Looks like old Woody

lost more than his
jacket down in Tijuana.

Oh.

You ok?

Yeah.

I'm ok.

Bus to Oceanside,
Camp Pendleton,

leaving in 5 minutes.

Bus leaving in 5 minutes

for Oceanside
and Camp Pendleton.

He's cute.

He is cute.

Your hat!

You want it?

Four?

Straight to the back.

That's the marine I threw
the cherry bomb at

at the whorehouse.

What?

You!

Oh, shit.

And you!

♪♪ School bell's ringin' ♪♪

♪♪ Rev up your motor, boys ♪

♪♪ We're gonna
get out of here ♪♪

♪♪ Get ready to party ♪♪

♪♪ Good times are waitin' ♪♪

♪♪ Women, wine, and beer ♪♪

♪♪ Well, the sky's the limit ♪♪

♪♪ You better not be
too shy to fly ♪♪

♪♪ Some say
there's been a few ♪♪

♪♪ That never come down ♪♪

♪♪ From the high ♪♪

♪♪ Losin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Usin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Abusin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Havin' the time
of our lives ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, usin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Abusin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Down on the borderline ♪♪

♪♪ Turn the boys into men ♪♪

♪♪ School's out,
but we're learnin' again ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause we're losin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Yeah, we're losin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Tonight ♪♪

♪♪ We're breakin'
all the rules ♪♪

♪♪ Freedom's all we know ♪♪

♪♪ The law is in our hands ♪

♪♪ Anything goes ♪♪

♪♪ If anyone's afraid ♪♪

♪♪ You better turn on back ♪

♪♪ Don't make a single
hesitation ♪♪

♪♪ Only for the ones ♪♪

♪♪ Who know where it's at ♪♪

♪♪ Well, we're losin' it ♪♪

♪♪ We're usin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Abusin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Down on the borderline ♪♪

♪♪ Turn the boys into men ♪♪

♪♪ School's out ♪♪

♪♪ But we're learnin' again ♪

♪♪ Cause we're losin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Yeah, we're losin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Tonight ♪♪

♪♪ We're breakin'
all the rules ♪♪

♪♪ Freedom's all we know ♪♪

♪♪ The law is in our hands ♪

♪♪ Anything goes ♪♪

♪♪ If anyone's afraid ♪♪

♪♪ You better turn on back ♪

♪♪ Don't make a single
hesitation ♪♪

♪♪ Only for the ones
who know where it's at ♪♪

♪♪ Well, we're losin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Down on the borderline ♪♪

♪♪ Turn the boys into men ♪♪

♪♪ School's out,
but we're learnin' again ♪♪

♪♪ Cause we're losin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Yeah, we're losin' it ♪

♪♪ Tonight ♪♪

♪♪ Yeah, we're usin' it ♪♪

♪♪ And we're abusin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Havin' the time
of our lives ♪♪

♪♪ Yeah, we're usin' it ♪♪

♪♪ And we're abusin' it ♪♪

♪♪ Down on the borderline ♪♪