Living in Oblivion (1995) - full transcript

[radio transmission]
Camera truck's comin' in.

We're about two blocks away.

Where do we park?

Excuse me, where do we park?

Anybody know where
the camera truck can park?

No.

- What time is it?
- 4:00. Why?

This milk's bad.

- When did you buy it?
- Tuesday.

- I don't know. What's today?
- Monday.

[radiO]
COPY-



There's a deli
on Broadway.

- Anything closer?
- Nothing that's open.

[radio]
Where are we supposed to park?

Is it that bad?

I don't know. You're the one
who said it was bad.

[radio] Excuse me,
where are we supposed to park?

[radio] Does anyone know
where the camera truck parks?

[radio]
Listen, camera truck, I want...

[radio] Camera truck?

[radio] Camera truck?
Did you hear that?

This is the worse fuckin'
cup of coffee I've had in my life.

- Then don't drink it.
- What are we doing today?

"Interior. Living room.
Ellen talks to Mom. "

Any nudity?



Yeah, you have to take
your fuckin' pants off.

- I'll do it. I like Ellen.
- Yeah, she's a babe.

She was the nurse in that
Richard Gere movie.

- I worked on that film.
- The shower scene.

Start with the 5k
through the window...

and run stingers for three
blondes into the living room.

So, two people.
Sitting? Standing? What?

Who fuckin' knows?

"Ellen talks to Mom. "

Tired?

Uh, no.
I've been up since 4:00.

I got a big scene today.
I'm kind of nervous about it.

- “Ellen talks to Mom"?
- Oh, have you read the script?

Uh, no,
it's on the call sheet.

Oh.

Yeah, well,
it's pretty emotional.

I tell my mother that I never
felt she really, um, loved me.

You're gonna yell
at each other?

Oh, I don't know.

I'm just gonna go with how I feel,
which is the scary part.

I'm pretty close to this character.

Problems with your own mom?

Yeah.

But she, uh, died before I...

well, before we could reconcile.

You were really great
in that Richard Gere movie.

Thanks.

Ellen, I have no memory
of this whatsoever.

I...

Ellen, I have no memory
of this whatsoever.

Ellen, I have no memory
of this whatsoever.

Hi, Mom.

Good morning.

Did you sleep well?

Not a wink.

Okay, look,
I'm not blaming anybody, Wanda.

All I'm saying is that
we left last night

and I knew we didn't get that scene.

I'm sorry, I thought
it was a great scene, Nick.

It was okay and you know I can use it.
It's gonna be all right.

But today I'm not gonna
settle for okay.

This is a big scene,
and I'm not leaving 'til we get it.

Whatever it takes, Nick.
We're here for you.

All right, Wolf,
here's what I want to do.

I want to get the whole
scene in one shot.

- It's been done.
- I know, but let's try it anyway.

- Hand-held?
- No, dolly.

We go from close-up, pull back to
a wide shot, back to a close-up.

I'll use the 35.
It'll minimize the distortion.

We can light the whole
thing from the ceiling.

It actually could be kind of great.

It sounds incredible.
How long, Wolf?

I gotta see a couple
run-throughs.

Not too many, all right?
It's a big scene for the actors.

I don't want to wear them out
before we get started.

We've got all day, Nick.
Whatever it takes.

How long, Wolf?
Forty-five? An hour?

I don't know how you drink
that shit black, Nick.

I gotta dump in the milk.
It's the only way I can cut the taste.

- Jesus!
- Flame on, asshole!

All right, kill that one.

Okay, picture's up.

Quiet!

Now hold the work
over there.

Alright, we're going for picture.
Lock it up.

Cora, you're doing fine.

I just want you to really listen
to her and really answer her.

: 85353

I've got nothing to say to you.

It's all there.
Just let it happen.

Ready, Nick.

One second.

Nick, you gotta take a look at this.

I pushed in a foot. She's incredible.
She's coming right through the lens.

That's beautiful, man.
That's great.

Ready, Nick?

- Call it, Wanda.
- All right, roll sound.

- Speed.
- Roll camera.

- Rolling.
- Scene six, take one.

Everybody settle.
And... action.

Dad hit me first and knocked me down.

It didn't hurt that much,
but I started crying anyway,

hoping he would
leave me alone.

Then he went over
and started hitting Danny.

Ellen, I have no memory
of this whatsoever.

You were just standing there
looking at me, Mom.

Then you... then you pulled me up
and said, "you're not hurt."

Like I was disgusting
for faking,

for doing the only
thing I could think of

to keep him from hitting me again.

I was worried about Danny.

- You remember.
- He was smaller than you.

You were so worried about Danny,
Mom. What about... (Wolf): Cut.

- That's a cut!
- Sorry, I had to cut.

Les,
your boom's all over my frame.

Yo, I asked for a frame line.

Okay, can we get a frame line, please?

- Les, do you have a frame line?
- I think so.

All right, now lock it up.
We're going for picture.

That was beautiful, both of you.

Just like that, stay focused.
Keep with it. No big deal.

All right, call it, Wanda.

- All right, and roll sound.
- Speed.

- Roll camera.
- Rolling. Scene six, take two.

Everybody settle.

And action.

Dad hit me first
and knocked me down.

It didn't hurt that much,
but...

I started crying anyway,
hoping he would just leave me alone.

Then he went over and
started hitting Danny.

Ellen, I have no memory
of this whatsoever.

Cut. I'm sorry.
I was completely off on the focus.

It's my fault.
I'm sorry.

Thank you for the apology,

but you'll never work
in this town again.

- All right, I've got it now.
- All right.

- And roll sound.
- Speed.

- Roll camera.
- Rolling. Scene six, take three.

Action.

Dad hit me first
and knocked me down.

It didn't hurt that much,
but I started crying anyway,

hoping he would
just leave me alone.

Then he went over and
started hitting Danny.

Ellen, I have no memory...

♪ [rap music playing]

Street noise.

What the fuck
is going on down there?

You call that a lockup?
Get that car out of here!

[radio] Yep.

Jesus Christ!

Why doesn't the guy just get
a flatbed trailer...

with about 600 speakers on it
and tow it behind his car?

Know what I mean?

♪ [rap music playing]

[screeching tires]

And... clear.

- Okay, do I have a lockup?
- [radio] Yes.

- Is that a real lockup?
- [radio] Yes.

Okay, here we go right away.

- First positions, please.
- [radio] Okay.

- All right, and roll sound.
- Speed.

- Roll camera.
- Rolling. Scene six, take four.

- [radio] Set?
- Yeah.

- Are we set?
- All right.

- Call it again, Wanda.
- All right, and roll sound.

- Speed.
- Roll camera. Roll camer...

- Second sticks.
- Oh, shit.

- Scene six...
- Everybody just settle!

Bert, get the hell
outta there!

Action.

Dad hit me first
and knocked me down.

It didn't hurt that much,
but...

I started crying anyway,
just hoping he would leave me alone.

Then he went over
and started hitting Danny.

Ellen, I have no memory
of this whatsoever.

You were just standing there
looking at me, Mom.

Then you came over and...
- Boom's in.

- That's a cut.
- Jesus Christ!

Where at?

The whole left side of the frame, Les.

All right, all right.

Can we get a mother fucking
frame line, please?

Yo, the frame line keep changing.

- That's the idea, Les.
- May I make a suggestion?

Would it be possible
to maybe break the shot down?

Maybe we could make it two shots
instead. It might be easier for Les.

No.

Then I'm gonna need ten minutes
to switch to radio mics.

It's your call, Nick.

Will there be any more sound problems?

No more boom problems.

Switch to radios.

All right, that's a ten minute break.
Everybody please stand by.

Get me a coffee.

- Half milk.
- Here.

Oh, Nicole, I'm really
sorry about all this.

Oh, no, no, no. It's not your fault,
Nick. No.

Um, listen,
I was wondering,

is there any way to use some of those
earlier takes?

Not unless I change the shot
and do a cutaway of Cora

and then find a way
to intercut the takes.

But I don't want to do that.
- No?

This is a really nice shot.

- What you're doing is incredible.
- Really?

- Really incredible.
- Okay.

- All right?
- Yeah.

Once we get the radio mics on,
it's gonna go a lot smoother.

So you just... whatever.
Take a moment.

Let all this shit go.

- Do whatever you, you know...
- All right.

We're not gonna roll until
you're ready, okay?

Yeah, thanks.

: 85353

How was she in that
Richard Gere movie?

Eh... so-so.

Her career really took off, didn't it?

- I saw her in a Michael Bolton video.
- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah, too bad.
- She is... nice.

Yeah.

I could have done
a better job though.

No, you still boom, Les,
but keep it wide! Wide!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where's that scrim going?

It's a flag.

Wolf?

- Two seconds, Wanda.
- No, no, no. No more tweaking. No.

- Lock it up. Picture's up.
- Closer to the light, Bob.

Nick. Can we get Nick in here please?

- Bring it up against the bulb.
- Nick? Nick? Nick!

- Call it, Wanda.
- All right. And roll sound.

- Speed.
- Roll camera.

- Rolling.
- Scene six, take five.

Shake it off.

Action.

Dad hit me first
and knocked me down.

It didn't hurt that much,
but...

I started crying anyway,
hoping he would leave me alone.

Then he went over and
started hitting Danny.

Ellen, I have no memory...Ahh!

[light exploding]

Damn it!

The light! The light!
You blew the bulb!

- Jesus fucking Christ!
- Kill it! Kill it! Pull the plug!

- By your foot!
- That's a cut! All right! All right.

Is everybody hurt? Is anybody okay?
Okay, Cora, are you all right?

Props. Props! Props, can we get
a broom in here, please?

All right,
clear the set... please.

- [radio] Are you rolling?
- Props!

Props, get a broom in here right away!
Clear the set!

Cora.

Cora.
What's gonna happen next?

I'm gonna have
a heart attack!

No, no, no, you're not.

If you do, save it for the
end of the scene, okay?

No, I'm kidding.
Listen...

...we're gonna go in
there in two minutes,

and we are gonna nail this scene.

Then we're gonna be outta here.
I swear. Okay? Nicole...

(Wanda): Nick.

One second.

- (Wanda): Nick.
- Uh, okay.

I'll tell you one thing right now.

I am never, ever going to do another
fuckin' low-budget movie!

What's up?

Wolf and I were talking.

Ellen's...
losing it a little bit.

We have got three-quarters of
the scene really, really incredible.

All you need to do
is a quick cutaway,

and then we pick up
the last part of the scene.

Wolf?

[laughs] Well, you know
how I feel.

I...I love the shot.
Hell, I designed it.

Okay, then can we just stick
with the game plan, please?

It's a simple shot.
I swear to god, we're gonna get it.

- All right? I can feel it.
- Okay.

You know, whatever it takes.
We're here for you.

Thanks.

- Okay, and roll sound.
- Speed.

- Roll camera.
- Rolling!

Scene six, take six.

Let's stay focused.
And... action.

Dad hit me first
and knocked me down.

It didn't hurt that much,
but...

I started crying anyway,
hoping he would leave me alone.

Then he started hitting Danny.
- Ellen, I... I...

Cut!

Okay. That's okay.
Uh, Cora, just give me the line.

No acting, just, just...
what's your line?

Ellen---

I have no memory
of this line whatsoever.

- All: [laughter]
- All right, all right.

Can we get the line please?
Script. Script. Script.

"Ellen, I have no memory
of this whatsoever."

Okay?

Thank you. All right,
picture up, people.

Back to one, camera.

Come on, guys,
let's not lose the energy.

- Right away!
- Let's go. Whoa, whoa.

- And keep the lockup.
- Nicole, you all right?

- Let's get what we had before.
- Are we ready? All right.

- And roll sound.
- Speed.

- Roll camera.
- Rolling!

Scene six, take seven.

Action.

Dad hit me first
and, uh, knocked me down.

It didn't hurt that much,
but...

I started crying anyway,
hoping he would leave me alone.

Then he started hitting Danny.

I was worried
about Danny!

I'm sorry, I...
I'm lost.

- Cut.
- That's a cut.

All right,
uh, everyone just relax.

We're gonna run the lines,
okay? No acting.

We'll do a run-through
for the lines. That's it.

Then we're gonna shoot
the fucking scene.

I'm sorry I'm fucking
this up for you.

Cora, please,
don't even say that.

I'm the one who's
totally fucking this up.

I swear to god,
if I get through this,

I am never acting again.

♪ [mysterious music playing]

Action on the run-through.

Dad hit me...
hit me first...

and knocked me down.

It didn't hurt
that much, but...

I started crying anyway,
hoping he would just leave me alone.

Roll camera.

Then he went over
and started hitting Danny.

Shouldn't we wait
for Wolf?

Ellen, I have no memory
of this whatsoever.

Ma, you were just
standing there looking at me.

Then you pulled me up
and said,

"you're not hurt. "

Like I was disgusting
for faking,

for doing the only thing I could think
of to keep him from hitting me again.

I was worried about Danny.

You do remember.

Well, he was
smaller than you.

You were so worried
about Danny, Ma.

What about me,
you know?

Why weren't you
worried about me?

Where the fuck is Wolf?

One second.

[vomiting sounds]

Okay, listen up.

Nobody drink the milk.
It appears to be bad.

Okay, I've had to...
I'm changing the shot.

I'm a little pressed for time,

so we start with a
close-up of Ellen...

for the last part of the scene,

starting with your line,
"I was worried about Danny. "

Mm-hmm.

Then I'll find a way to cut
that into the fourth take.

[sighs]

We almost had that.

Almost. That was beautiful.
Both of you.

That was just, uh...

...can't think about that, right?

That moment's gone and, uh,
we'll get another one, right?

Right? Okay.
Here we go.

I'm ready, Nick.

- Call it, Wanda.
- And roll sound. Speed.

- Roll camera. Rolling!
- Scene six apple, pickup, take one.

Action.

I was worried
about Danny.

You do remember.

He's smaller
than you.

[beeping sound]

You were s...

You were so worried about Danny,
Mona, what about me?

Why weren't you worried
about me? Jesus christ!

- Cut!
- What the fuck is that, sound?

- It's not me!
- It's the camera.

Fuck it is! It's off!
It wasn't even running, Dick Les!

What is going on down there?
Do I have a lockup?

You don't hear a beeping sound?
The street's quiet.

[beeping sound]

What the fuck is it?

[beeping sound]

It's somebody's watch.

It's not mine.

- It's not mine.
- It's not mine.

Okay, where is it?

Cock-sucking, motherfucking
bastard! Where are you?

Take a walk, Les. Go get coffee
and don't come back, all right?

I said no food on set!

Where are you?

Could somebody help me, please?

Huh? Do I have to do
everything myself here?

Huh, Cora? Why don't you go learn
your lines, Cora!

Hey, script, how about paying
attention a little bit there, okay?

Hey, focus puller,
I got some good Thai stick.

You wanna go fuckin' smoke one
or you wanna pay attention?

What are you laughing at, Wolf?

You fuckin' pretentious,
beret-wearin' motherfucker!

Hey, I saw your reel, man.
It sucked!

Who the fuck would hire you anyway?
Hey, Bob! Hey, Bob!

Can you make a little noise
on the fucking dolly? Huh?

You creaky motherfucker!

Wanda, next time can you wear

a shirt that's a little more
distracting to my actors?

What is your name anyway? What
do you fucking do around here?

Hey, speedo! You can't find
a little fucking beep?

Huh? You see what I have to fucking
deal with here, Nicole?

Maybe do some of that magic on camera!

No, no, wait 'til fuckin' Wolf

is pukin' his guts out!
"Oh, now, I'll be good. "

[beeping sound]

[screams]

[alarm clock beeping sound]

Oh, god.

♪ [music playing]

So when did he ask you?

Yesterday when I was helping him
check into his hotel.

What? The guy can't even check
into his hotel room by himself?

Listen, Wolf...

...having Chad Palomino in this movie
will be a benefit to us all.

If being there when he checks into
his hotel makes him feel better,

then I'm more than happy to do it.

Well, how did it come up?

He asked me if I liked jazz,
I said yes,

and he suggested we meet at a jazz
club tonight.

- I like jazz.
- He did not invite you.

Why are you wearing
perfume to work?

- Because I feel like it.
- You didn't wear it yesterday.

Oh, god, stop acting
like such a child.

- Ovv_! all?! eye!

Oh, god, sweetheart,
are you all right?

- Do I look all right?
- Oh, well, let me see.

I don't see anything.

Well, it hurts.

Christ,
we're gonna be late.

Should we call up
to the room again?

He said he'd be
right down.

[yawning]

- Tired?
- Oh, I'm exhausted.

I dreamt I was on set
all night.

I was just trying to get one shot,
and everything kept going wrong.

That's an anxiety dream.
Are you anxious about something?

I don't know.

Sometimes I wonder what the hell
I'm doing in this business.

It's all just one compromise
and disappointment after another.

I don't know if I have
the personality for it.

Sounds kind of like
an identity crisis.

[chuckles]
Yeah, maybe you're right.

Who am I?
What am I capable of?

Maybe I should find a job
teaching Spanish

at a women's college somewhere.

How'd you get
into cinematography?

I'm not the cinematographer.

You're not?

No, I'm directing this movie.

How'd you get into directing?

Your car is still waiting
for you, Mr. Palomino.

- Five minutes.
- Okay, I'll tell him.

Bye.

- They're downstairs.
- You go ahead. I'm gonna take a taxi.

Okay.

Uh, listen...

I had a lot of fun last night,
really, but I gotta tell you,

where I'm at right now
in my life, a relationship...

Chad, hold on a second.

Uh, this was just
a one-time deal.

You know it, I know it.
You can cut the melodrama.

I just thought
you might want...

All I ask is that you don't
mention it to anyone.

- That's not my style.
- Good. That's good.

So, I'll see you
on the set.

Right.

♪ [music playing]

Goddamn it.

A'

Hey, so what do you got
coming up after this?

Nick, I got two movies
right after yours.

One, I play a rapist that
Michelle Pfeiffer falls in love with.

The other one,
I play kind of a sexy...

serial killer that shacks up
with Winona Ryder.

That's great, man.

Yeah, I'm not into that
hostess twinkie shit.

"Hostess twinkie"?

Hollywood shit, man.
You know, it's all fluff.

These are the kind of films
I wanna be doin'.

- Hey, thanks, man.
- Hey.

I gotta say, I'm really
glad you feel that way,

and I'm excited to be
working with you.

Yeah, me too.
You're a great director, man.

Your films
are totally whacked!

You know, I'm gonna be
watching you, buddy, like a hawk.

I wanna learn
from you, Nick.

I'm gonna pick your brain.

Good. Then you could
pick my nose.

Both: [laughter]

See what I mean?
You're whack!

Yeah.
What are we waitin' here for?

- Oh, waitin' on Nicole.
- Nicole? She's tak...

What?

Probably takin' a shower
or something.

Hey, did anybody see that
Richard Gere movie?

How was her shower scene in it?

- It was good.
- Really great.

A'

How boring.

I think we got nudity today.

It just says,
“Ellen and Damian kiss. "

Well, it could be
a kiss with nudity.

I like Ellen.

- She's my type.
- Now, why is that?

She's, uh...
she's pretty.

She's smart.
She's kind of kooky.

Maybe I'll give her a part.

Yeah, I'm making my
own movie pretty soon.

- A feature.
- Oh, yeah?

Brought the script.

Palomino is perfect for the lead.

I'm gonna give it to him
right during lunch.

- Maybe right after.
- All right.

Yeah, I gotta be aggressive.

Wanna shoot it?

- (woman's voice): Come and get it.
- Sure.

Yeah? You ever shot anything before?

No.

All right.

You gotta start somewhere.

(woman's voice): Good morning!

- (man's voice): Good morning.
- (woman's voice): Good morning.

(Ellen): Look at these bags
under my eyes.

I can take care of that.

Does that work?

- With skin?
- It's gonna be great.

You just take it easy.

Jesus, what are you doing?

Shrinking tissue.
That's what this stuff is for.

Let that sit for two minutes, pumpkin.
I'll be right back.

- How'd you get here?
- Oh, I took a taxi.

Oh, because we've been
waiting in front of your

apartment for half an hour.

Oh, god!
I'm sorry, Nick. I'm sorry.

I just... uh, something came up
and I forgot to call.

I feel like such an asshole.

You're just saying that

because you have preparation H
on your face.

[sighins]

Man, I never should have
gone out last night. I hate jazz.

God, I look terrible.

- No, you don't.
- Don't bullshit me, Nick.

I'm not.
You look beautiful.

(Chad): Hey!

How did you get here,
Nicole?

I took a cab.

Oh, because we were wondering
how you got here.

Good, everybody's here.

We'll have a run-through
as soon as you guys are ready.

You got it, chief.

(Nick): Lorrie, what are you doing?
Chad's ready for his makeup.

Okay, we're back in.
We are back. We are in.

Alright, hold it down, people.
Hold it down! Actors working.

- Great shirt, Wanda.
- Why, thank you, Chad.

Okay, let's finish working
out this blocking. Wolf!

- Hmm?
- What happened to your eye?

A little accident.

- You gonna be all right?
- I think so.

Looks great, man.

Okay, Nicole is here
standing by the bed.

Chad, you're over there
by the chair. Okay.

And camera's close on Ellen.
First line.

I've always admired you
from afar.

Admired? That sounds...
rather professional.

Good. Okay, "professional,"
that's the cue.

Dolly comes in. Damian,
you come over to the bed. Right?

Scene continues.

Well, then, loved.
How does that sound?

Sounds like champagne talking.

I've loved you from the moment we met.

Why didn't you tell me?

We were working together.
I didn't want anything to interfere.

God, and all this time
I thought...

Then you kiss...

Don't do it now.
Okay, how's that feel?

- Great.
- Nicole?

Good.

- Wolf, any thoughts?
- Nope.

I have a thought.

What if Damian had
an eye patch like Wolf?

Hmm, let me think
about that one, Chad.

All right.
You're the genius.

Nick Reve, Living in Oblivion,
scene six, take one! Let's shoot it!

One second, Chad.
Wolf, you ready to shoot one?

- I've been ready. Move aside.
- (Chad): All right, Wolf man!

(Nick): Good. Okay, call it, Wanda.

Camera, please.
All right, going for picture.

And lock it up!
And roll sound. Speed.

- Roll camera.
- Rolling. Scene six, take one.

And... action.

I've always admired you
from afar.

Admired?

That sounds rather professional.

Well, then, loved.
How does that sound?

Sounds like champagne talking.

Well, I've loved you
from the moment we met.

Then why didn't you
tell me?

We were working together.
I didn't want anything to interfere.

God...
and all this time...

I thought...

♪ [sweeping music playing]

Cut.

(Wanda): That's a cut.

Very good.

Not for camera.
Chad's completely out of my frame.

Yeah, what happened, buddy?
Did you forget your cue?

No, man.

I held back. I really feel
it's something that Damian would do:

Hold back until
the last moment, you know?

Oh... I see.
Uh, how's that for you, Wolf?

I don't care when he moves.
Just give me the fuckin' cue.

- Lone wolf!
- What line did he move on?

- “Why didn't you tell me?"
- Okay, "me. "

That'll be your new cue.
All right?

- How's that feel for you, Nicole?
- Oh, that's good.

Yeah, if that's
what Chad wants.

Me, me, me.
That's the cue.

- Shoot it!
- One second, Chad.

Chad, come here.

Okay, um...

Chad...

how would you describe
this scene in one word?

It's great.
It's a great scene.

Okay. No, but I mean...
it's a love scene, right?

- Definitely.
- Right. Okay.

And these two people, they really
love each other,

and we wanna see that.

Especially in the kiss.

- I got it, chief.
- All right. Nicole?

- I understand, chief.
- Good.

- Call it, Wanda.
- All right, going for picture.

Lock it up.

- And roll sound.
- Speed.

- Roll camera. Rolling.
- Scene six, take two.

Ellen, just push your...

and... action.

I've always admired you
from afar.

Admired?

That sounds...
rather professional.

Well, then, loved.
How does that sound?

Sounds like champagne talking.

I've loved you from the moment we met.

Then why didn't you tell me?

We were working together.
I didn't want anything to interfere.

God...

and all this time...

Hmm.

And cut!

- That's a cut.
- Very good. Wolf?

Chad missed his cue again.
The whole dolly's unusable.

Yeah, what happened there,
pal-o-mine-o-mino?

I thought this time you were
gonna hold back until "me. "

The more I thought about that,
it just didn't seem right.

You know,
and I'm thinkin'...

...instead of comin' all
the way around the bed,

what if...I just slip in
here like this,

do the whole scene lying down?

I don't know.
That seems a little...

I'm just tryin' to throw out ideas,
get the creative juices flowing.

Nicole, how does that feel for you?

[clears throat]

Well... yeah,
I could turn to look at him,

but won't you be shooting
the back of my head?

Plus Chad's completely
out of the light down there.

Hey, Wolf, I don't care
about my face, man. All right?

What I care about here
is the acting.

That's all I care about!

It's your call, Nick.
His acting or his face?

For some reason,
I thought we can get both.

I thought that's what
we were trying to do here.

(Wolf):
I'll have to set another light.

(Wanda):
We're ahead of schedule, Nick.

I think we have a few moments
to set a light for Mr. Palomino.

Good, let's do it.

Ellen, Damian,
let's talk for a second.

We are going to pause
to set a little light,

and then we are going
to rush again right away.

How long, Wolf?

Wolf?

Okay.

Let's just take a moment and make sure
we know what's going on here, right?

These two people, they've loved
each other for years, right?

Each of them not knowing the
other was in love with them, right?

And tonight, in this little room,
it all comes out.

It's like...
it's like a dam bursting.

Does that make sense?
Nicole?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.
It makes perfect sense, Nick.

I just, you know...
I haven't found it yet.

I'll get it though.

- Okay. What about you, Chad?
- I'm there, man.

I got the dam bursting,
the river, everything. You watch.

Changing the blocking's really
gonna open things up for me.

- (Wanda): We're ready, Nick.
- Okay, good.

Let's go.

Okay, here we go.
Number one.

(Wanda):
Okay, we're gonna go very soon.

Have we done last looks?

- Mr. Palomino is being checked.
-(Nick): Ready? Don't lose the energy.

Stay in the scene.
Good.

- Call it, Wanda.
- Lock it up. And roll sound.

- Speed.
- Roll camera.

- Rolling.
- Scene six, take three.

Okay, dam bursting.
And... action.

I've always admired you from afar.

Admired?

That sounds...
rather... professional.

Well, then, loved.
How does that sound?

It sounds like champagne talking.

I've loved you from the moment we met.

Why didn't you tell me?

We were working together.

I didn't... I didn't want
anything to interfere.

Nick, um... you know, this...

I'm turned all the way around.
I didn't... is that what you...

What's the problem?

- Sorry, can we cut for a sec?
- Cut. That's a cut.

Damn it!

- That was a good one.
- I know. I...

I'm sorry, but this feels
really... awkward,

me turning all the way
around like this.

Yeah. You know something, Chad?

I don't think the lying
on the bed is quite working.

Let's try one with
the original blocking.

What is that? Been so many changes.
Could somebody please help me?

Cue for the original
blocking is "professional."

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Right away, back to one.
Call it, Wanda.

And picture's up.
Lock it up. Roll sound.

You know, actually, Nick...uh,
could I have a moment? Just...

...is that all right?

Of course, Nicole.
Are you kidding me?

- Hold the roll, Wanda.
-Holding the roll.

- What's the cue?
- It's right there.

- Okay, and did he print anything yet?
- No.

Mmm. Someone smells
very, very good here.

Okay.

Listen, you do your job,
and I'll do mine, okay?

Ready, Nick.

Okay.

- Call it, Wanda.
- All right, going for picture.

Lock it up.
And roll sound.

- Speed.
- Roll camera.

Rolling. Scene six,
take four.

- And...
- Nick!

- I just had a great idea.
- Hold the roll.

Hold the roll. Nobody move.
What is it, Chad?

Stop me if I'm out of line here.

She says, "admired from afar. "

So doesn't it make sense to see
Damian up close, her "afar"?

Now watch me.

We start on a close-up of me, right?

She declares her love,
she comes to me,

and she steps into this
beautiful two-shot...

that you and the wolfmeister
have set up here.

- What do you think, Wolf?
- I don't like it. It's Ellen's scene.

I don't know...it sort of makes sense.

You did it, man. It's in the writing.

I'd have to relight.

We are ahead of schedule, Nick,
if that means anything to you.

Let's do it.

Get me a tweenie over here,
with diffusion.

Okay, everyone. Please stand by.

We are pausing briefly
to set one little light.

And then we are going again
right away.

Stand-in, please, for Mr. Palomino.
- Oh, I'll do it.

Get the fuckin' light!

He's a bit of a prima donna,
but Nick is working...

That's cool.

Okay, Thursday.
That's good.

I'm going to the ballet
next week.

- Your hair could use some work, man.
- Why don't you finish me on the set?

- Sugar?
- Just a bit.

(Nicole): He doesn't give a
shit about me.

- You like jazz?
- Very much.

- We should go hear some tonight.
- That'd be nice.

[sighins]

It's going well, I think.
Don't you think?

Very well.

What time do you
think we'll be finished?

Early, I HOPE-

- I'm going to a jazz club tonight.
- Really?

So am I.
He's wonderful, isn't he?

So natural,
just like air.

Chad?

I wonder what his sign is.
Do you know, Nicole?

No, I don't know his sign, but...

I think his moon is in Uranus.

- You don't have to be nasty.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

Yo, Wolf man, is this my new mark?

Until you fuckin' change it.

Where's my fuckin' eye patch?
Hey, Lester!

Anybody seen my eye patch?

Admired?
That sounds rather professional.

Hey, Chad.

Hey.

Hey. I'm Bob.
I'm lighting the show.

Chad Palomino, actor.
- (Wolf):Where's my goddamn eye patch?

- Yeah, I know, uh...
- Hey, what's your name?

- Maurice.
- Maurice! Hey, Maurice Chevalier!

Any relation? Probably not, huh?
- Hey, Chad, I'm...

- Smokin' crew, guys.
- Thanks.

Hey, thanks.

I wrote a script, and I thought
you might want to take a...

Hey, Bill, you see the top
of that light there?

Uh... yeah.

Bring that down about three feet.

(WOW): Anybody See“
"W eve pat h c "e?

The dailies from last night
looked really...

You look incredible, Nicole.

Hey, do you want to...

Nicole, would you care to have a
drink with me, you know, tonight?

I just wanted to...
we could talk about...

- Oh...I'm sorry, Nick.
- Oh, that's okay, Nicole.

I was just splashing
a little water on my face.

Oh.

Uh, listen, I...
it's going pretty well, right?

Is it? I don't know.
Something feels off.

- Yeah, you seem a little tense.
- Do I?

But don't worry about it. Just, uh

take the attention off yourself
and put it on Chad.

Work off him a little more.

- Okay, I'll try that.
- Good.

I know he's no Olivier
or anything, but...

He's got something though, right?

Don't you think he's got
like a natural presence?

Yeah.
He's very natural.

Like air.

So... is there anything else
I could help you with?

Uh... actually, there is.

Could you maybe ask him
to brush his teeth?

- Sure.
- (woman's voice): Nicole? Nicole?

(woman's voice):
Please get Nicole to wardrobe.

[radio] Yeah?

My eye's killing me.

Put your eye patch on.

I lost it.

Is that little light set yet?

The light was set
about ten minutes ago.

Uh, get the a-team in here right away:
Nick, Nicole and Mr. Palomino.

Why didn't you tell me?

Hey, you're not
worried about the time,

I'm not worried about the time.

Oh, I am very
worried about the time.

Oh, I know you are.

- What is that supposed to mean?
- What do you think it means?

- I don't know what it means!
- Yes, you do.

- No, I don't!
- The hell you don't.

I haven't clone anything!

Wanda, please,
you have to understand...

Why are you accusing me?

You don't understand me!
You don't even care!

All I do is take care
of you constantly!

Hey, hey! Hey, hey!

Hey! What the fuck, Wanda? Huh?

I'm trying to shoot an intimate
scene here.

I don't need a lot
of tension on set, all right?

Damian,
you on your new mark?

Good.
All right.

Close-up of Damian,
Ellen in the back...

- Chad, what are you doing?
- Hey, that's my fuckin' eye patch!

Can I borrow it, Wolf?
Nick, it just feels right.

I've got this guy now!
- No, Chad, it doesn't work.

You're wrong, man.
I'm gonna fight you on this one.

Hey, that's my eye patch,

and I don't want anyone else
wearing it. It's insanitary!

Fine! I'll get my own eye patch!

Nick, send someone out,
get me an eye patch.

I'll pay for it myself.

Get an eye patch for Mr. Palomino.

Chad, let me talk
to you for a second.

Look, I didn't want to say this
in front of Wolf, but, uh,

it makes you look a little... gay.

- Really?
- A little bit.

Jesus.

Oh... you're right.

- Good call. Thanks, buddy.
- Sure.

- (Wanda): We're ready, Nick.
- Uh, Wolf, you need a rehearsal?

Let's just fucking shoot it.

El lobo!

- Call it, Wanda.
- Lock it up.

- And roll sound.
- Speed.

- Roll camera. Rolling.
- Scene six, take four.

Everybody, keep the energy up.
And... action.

I've always admired you
from afar.

Admired?
Sounds rather professional.

Well, then, loved.
How does that sound?

Sounds like champagne talking.

I've loved you from the moment we met.

Why didn't you tell me?

We were working together.
I didn't want anything to interfere.

God!

- Cut. That's a cut.
- Sorry, Nick.

Sorry. I don't know why
I did that. I'm sorry.

Nick, can I talk to you for a second?

What?

Two seconds, Wanda.
Everybody stand by.

All right, momentary delay.
Everyone stand by.

We're gonna go again right away.

Uh, excuse me, Ellen.
You were a tad low on that.

Okay, I'll bring it up.

Actually, could I listen
to the take before?

Sure.

Here it is.
It's coming up right now.

[tape rewinding]

I've loved you from
the moment we met.

Why didn't you tell...

Chad, just one second, okay?
Talk to me. What's going on?

- I cannot act with that woman!
- Shh.

I know that she's a friend of yours,
but she cannot act worth a shit!

I'm giving her everything!

Did you see that whole thing
I just did with the hair?

That was great.

I came up with that on my own!
I thought it would help her!

- Cut.
Thanks.

- (Chad): She's giving me nothing!
- Just a second.

- (Chad): I'm outta here!
Why the hell did you cast her?

She sucked in that Richard Gere movie!

- (Nick): You're right.

Okay, he's not the best
actress in the world.

I can see that now.

But you've gotta help me
out here, Chad. All right?

I'm asking you, please.
Work with me, all right?

(Chad): Let me tell you
something, man.

Do you know why she took
a cab this morning?

- (Nick):Something came up.
- (Chad):No, she was in my hotel room,

and she didn't want you
to know about it, okay?

Now, I'm sorry it had
to come out like this,

but I told her this morning,
I said, "thanks a lot.

"I had a lot of fun
last night.

"But let's get something
straight here, baby.

This is a one-time deal. "

She didn't want to hear that.
She wanted more.

You see what I'm saying?
It's rejection.

Okay.
Hey, I'll talk to her, all right?

I'm here for you, man.

I appreciate that, man,
because, you know,

you're one of the best actors
I've ever worked with.

All right? So, let's just...
we can do this, all right?

Okay, here we go.
Director and actor are on set.

First positions please.

Nicole, listen...

Nick, it's my fault the
scene isn't working.

I-I-I apologize.
Chad, I apologize to you too.

I just... I'm completely
unfocused here.

I think what we need to do is to
just loosen up the scene somehow.

What would you
like to do?

I was wondering...

maybe could we try improvising
the scene a little bit?

More along the lines
of what Chad's been doing.

Maybe that will help
me find something.

That's a fantastic idea.

- What do you think, Chad?
- That's the only way I can work.

Let's take it apart.
Let's cut it loose.

Good.

And, uh, we'll shoot it,
all right?

Hell, why not?

Roll that mother fuckin'
camera, Wolfie.

- Kiss my ass!
- Yeah!

All right!
Now we're making a fuckin' movie!

- Call it, Wanda.
- Okay, lock it up.

- Going for picture.
- Look alive.

And roll sound.

- Speed.
- Roll camera. Rolling!

Scene six, take five.

Action!

I've always admired you
from afar.

Have you?

That's...
wow.

That's incredible.

Admired?

Sounds kind of professional
though, doesn't it? Admired?

You're right.
How does, um... despised sound?

Great.
What does it mean?

Well, it's sort of like
I think that you are

a slimy piece of shit.

- That sounds like champagne talking.
- Oh, no, no, no, it's not.

It's not. I really do think
you are a piece of shit.

No, you don't.
You love me.

Oh, no.
The fuck I do.

I can't stand looking at you.

Then I guess I have nothing to say.

No, no, no, no. no.

I think...you have a lot
more to say, Damian.

Well, I'm a little surprised
that you feel this way, Ellen,

because I'd always thought
you had admired me.

No, no, no,
that's not what I meant.

I think that you
should tell everyone...

what you just told Nick
behind the set.

Hey, wait a second.
This isn't part of the scene.

(Nicole): No, say it anyway.
Say it anyway, Damian.

The reason that this
scene isn't working...

is because you and I slept together
last night, right?

Did everyone hear that?

I fucked Chad last night!

See Nick? This is exactly what
I was trying to tell you.

It's about rejection!

Oh, you fucking asshole.

You think I give a fuck about you?

I was there to get laid.
And even that was a joke.

(Chad): You're really starting
to fuckin' piss me off!

Oh, I am?

Does that mean you're not gonna
wiggle around on the bed anymore...

or stroke my hair all
soft and concerned...

or kiss me like a soap-opera-acting
piece of shit?

Fuck!

- Hey, hey, hey! All right!
- Come on!

I'll kick the fuckin' shit out of you!

- Hey, cut that... cut, cut, cut!
- Fucking loser!

I think we can
hold it right there.

Yeah, you bet we can
hold it right there!

Wanda, call me a cab!

- Hold on, Chad.
Just try and calm down.

Fuck you, man!

- Hey, calm down.
- Get your fuckin' hands off me!

First of all, I'm outta here!
This movie's bullshit!

Hey, one second there, Chad.
No reason for hostility, okay?

Why don't you shut up,
you fuckin' loser.

The only reason
I took a part in this movie...

is because someone said that
you were tight with Quentin Tarantino!

- You're nowhere, man!
- Do you want to go?

Go! All right?

I am so sick of your shit,
you hostess twinkie motherfucker.

What did you say?

- You heard me.
- Say it again!

You hostess twinkie motherfucker.

Ow!

[screaming]

Goddamn it.
Everyone, just stop it! Get off...

Nicole, get off!
Nicole, get off of him!

Come on! Get off of him!
Ow! God! Oh!

I'm gonna kick your ass, Chad.

Wolf! Oh, god! Oh, god.

Oh!

Oh, god. Wolf.

Come here!
I'll kick your fuckin' ass!

Hey, hey, hey!
You wanna pick my brain, huh?

This is how I direct
twinkie motherfuckers like you!

You scumbag!
Come on, I'll kick your ass!

You wanna pick my brain?

- Hold it, tiger! Get off!
- Let go! Easy now!

Chad.

(Nick): Have a nice
flight home, buddy!

(woman's voice): Fucking killed him!

The only reason I cast you
is because of your name!

Yeah, get him outta here!
Take him back to his hotel!

(Nicole): Asshole.

- Nicole, are you okay?
- Don't touch me.

Can I help, guys?

Oh, shit, my back.
I pulled my back, Bob.

It's called Tsunami.
A Japanese tidal wave hits New York.

You're an ex-navy seal frogman.

You're working undercover.
You save the city.

You'd be perfect for the lead.
My number's there.

You call me, I call you.

Either way, it's been great
working with you!

Nicole...I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it.

You were great in that
Richard Gere movie.

Shut up.

You are no different than he is.
You lie! You're deceitful!

I'm not lying!

Christ, I tell everybody
how great you are.

I've got nothing but respect
and admiration for you.

Christ, Nick, now you're doing
your own fucking script.

- Why do you think I wrote it?
- I have no idea.

It's about you.

It's how I feel about you.

Did you get a bump
on your head, Nicky...

'cause you're
talking like an idiot!

No.

Nicole, I've loved you
since the clay we met.

♪ [soft music playing]

Why didn't you tell me?

Because I didn't want anything
to interfere with us working together.

Oh, god.

And all this time
I thought...

A'

Oh, god.

- Don't go out that door!
- Why not?

Because it's part of the set,
goddamn it! Now go around.

Next time.
This is an emergency!

[sighins]

Has Ellen arrived yet?
- [radio] Check.

Well, get her into
wardrobe right away!

No, scene six.

Scene five has been postponed.
I'm not gonna tell you again!

Mr. Palomino is not working today.

- What are you talking about?
- Where's my goddamn smoke machine?

[farting sound]

Oh, god.

Oh!

What do you want?

I gotta use the bathroom, man.

It's really an emergency.
- Fuckin' knock!

You're right.

One of these days, I'm going
to punch somebody in the balls!

Straighten up.

You're not gonna believe this,
Nicole.

Just as we pull up in front of
your apartment, Palomino tells me...

he is suddenly so sick he can't
possibly work today.

- God. Was it something he ate?
- Straighten up, please.

- I don't know.
- Well, can he work tomorrow?

- Turn to your right.
- Don't know that either.

But you know what?
I'm not going to worry about it.

I had this dream last night,
I was on set.

You were in it, and another woman,
somebody older.

Anyway, everything was going wrong...

and no matter how hard
I tried to keep things together...

the more they just fell apart.

You know what that dream
was telling me, Nicole?

That I just have
to roll with it.

That's what I'm going to do today.
I am rolling with it.

So, we shoot the dream sequence.

Hey, Tito, man, you look great!
- I feel like shit!

No, no, no, you look good,
really.

Hey, thank you so much
for coming in on such short notice.

This is, uh, Nicole.
She's playing Ellen.

Hi. Toto, is it?

Tito.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Um, so listen.

If there's anything
I can do for you to...

you just let me know.

Put a stool in the bathroom.

- Don't move, I'll be right back.
- Okay.

- Tito, Tito, your costume length...
- Did I just offend him?

- Why, what'd you say?
- “Short notice."

Please, that was nothing.

I mean, my god, I'm the one
who called him “Toto...

You know, I am so out of it,

I dreamt I was on the set
last night too.

- Yeah?
- Yep.

- You were in the dream.
- Was I freaking out?

Actually, you were.

Great. I freak out in your dream.
I freak out in my dream.

No wonder
I'm fucking exhausted.

- Nick?
- Yeah?

Nothing.

All right, GUYS-

Special effects today.
Could be kind of fun.

Who knows how
to work this baby?

It's the old T160.
I used it once in '85.

- Damn. '85.
- What's this?

- That's where the gas go.
- Nah, that's where the oil go.

- Is it?
- I'm pretty sure.

How do you know?

No, he's right. It's coming back now.

I'm gonna let you handle this, Bob.
This is your baby.

Les, if he needs any help,
give him a hand.

Word.

Okay, guys, we're all workin'
together today.

Yeah, it's comin' back now.
It's like ridin' a bike.

- T160, 1985.
- (Nick): Anybody seen Wanda?

- 1985, T160.
- Way to go, Bob!

- How we doin', Wanda?
- Not good.

Not bad, but not good.

We have to finish this scene
today and do scene 31.

- Scene 31? Today?
- Yeah.

I don't even have my notes for Scene 31.
I left my notebook at home.

- Nobody told me we were doing scene 31.
- Nick, Nick, Nick, I'll send someone

to your apartment
and they'll pick up the notes.

Send someone to my apartment
to get my red notebook.

It's underneath the bed.

Oh, fine. All right.
Okay. It's taken care of.

Thank you.

Hey, Bob, get that smoke machine
cranked up, buddy.

I want a lot of smoke today.

We're lit.
The smoke machine's under control.

- We're ready to go.
- Yeah, but what about the dolly?

Hey, just need to see a little
run-through and we're all set.

I'm gonna make your job
easy today, Wanda. Hmm.

Wandaful, wandaful,
wandaful.

Mmm. I sure am glad
you wore that perfume.

Hey, don't worry
about Palomino.

I'll take you to that
jazz club tonight, yes.

Oh, I can't tonight.

I promised I'd visit Chad.
He's extremely ill.

Oh.

By the way, my eye's much better.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Listen, Wolf, come here.

I know this may not be the
best time to tell you this,

but our relationship is going nowhere.

What do you mean?

Please don't take this personally,
because I care for you, Wolf.

I really do.

But I've been feeling
this way for quite awhile,

and I really just think
that it's best if we just end it.

Okay?

- Okay.
- I think it's better.

- So do I.
- Well, good.

- Yeah. Sure.
- So we're still friends?

Oh, well, great. Because, you know,
I mean, we have to work together,

and I don't think that
it has to be unpleasant.

No, no.

Well, give me a hug.

You are a real special guy, Wolf.

Thanks.

(sound man's voice): You're gonna have
to put the microphone forward.

(sound man):
Don't you hear that?

(sound man):
Can you hear me?

Oh. Okay.

I'd like to get the A-team
in here, please:

Um, Ellen and Nick
and Mr. Tito.

Everyone pay attention.
We are rehearsing scene six.

I want it absolutely quiet.
Director working with actors.

Okay, listen up,
here's the shot.

We start wide with Ellen absolutely
still in the middle of the frame.

Okay? You with me, Wolf?
- Yeah.

- What happened to your eye?
- Nothing. It's just a little sensitive today.

- Can you see?
- Of course I can see!

Okay. Ellen is standing
still and the smoke is flowing in.

And your first line?
"I am so hungry."

Good. That's
your cue, Tito.

All right, then you come in,
and you circle her once.

You hold that apple out,

just beyond her reach.
You're reaching for it.

Good, and you're
staring at her hard. Harder.

Good. Stop right there.
All right. Can we get a mark, please?

All right, then we dolly in
to a medium shot.

- What do you think?
- It should be hand-held.

No, I think
it's better on the dolly.

- Nick, do I see him?
- No. You just see the apple.

Tito, after that dolly in,

give me a little laugh there
at the end.

A little laugh?

Big, little, whatever
you feel like doing.

Okay?
All right?

Good. Let's shoot one.
Call it, Wanda.

Okay, here we go.
The dream sequence is up.

Action
on the smoke machine.

Okay, lock it up.
Here we go. Roll sound. Speed.

Roll camera.

Hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on.

Bob, could we get a little more smoke?
Is that possible?

- Oh, sure.
- All right, good. Call it, Wanda.

(Wanda): And roll sound.
Speed. Roll camera.

(Nick): Rolling.
Scene six, take one.

And... action!

I am so hungry.

Cut!

That's a cut.
Nick, comments?

Yeah, just a couple.

Okay, that was, uh...
that was good.

Tito, that was good, man, really.
You didn't feel like laughing?

- I laughed.
- Oh. Okay, I guess I missed it.

You can make it bigger.
All right?

And, Ellen, uh...

maybe a little more tension
when you see him.

- I thought I didn't see him.
- Right.

Maybe you see him a little bit.

All right, wait,
do I see him or not?

You see him.

Okay. Okay.
Then what is the tension?

I mean, who is Toto?
- It's Tito.

- What did I say?
- Toto.

0h, my god, I'm sorry.

Tito, I'm sorry.
I don't know why I'm doing that.

Ellen, come on now, let's concentrate.

Remember, tomorrow
you're marrying Damian.

You're a little anxious,
and you have this dream.

Let's call it an anxiety dream.
And Tito represents the anxiety.

Okay?

- Sounds pretty simple, right?
- Let's just try it.

And, uh, Bob, let's really
have some smoke on this one.

All right?
- Okay, more smoke.

Good! Let's everybody just relax.
This is the one right here.

I still think
it should be hand-held.

Yeah, well, I don't want it hand-held.
I want it on the dolly.

Where's my notebook, Wanda?
- It's on its way.

- All right. Call it, Wanda.
- All right, and roll sound.

Speed.
Roll camera.

Rolling.
Scene six, take two.

Action!

I am so hungry.

- Cut!
- That's a cut.

- Nick, again?
- Yes.

- All right, we're
going again right away.

Okay, Ellen, good. I think
you're on to something here.

Good?

I'm sorry, something's not right.
This all feels fake to me.

It's not fake!
It's real!

Just remember, you really
want that apple, okay?

Tito, I still think we could
see more of a laugh at the end.

What kind of laugh?

- Just a laugh.
- Show me.

Oh. Okay, uh...

I'm thinking maybe
something like this.

[laughing]

Something like that.

All right?

Now remember,
Tito, Ellen, this is a dream.

It doesn't have
to make sense.

A laugh right there could
heighten our sense of, uh...

Anxiety.

Exactly. Wolf,
how was that for you?

I still think
it should be hand-held.

Goddamn it!
It's not going to be!

I want it on the dolly!
So why don't you just forget about it?

And, Bob, what the fuck
is with that smoke, man?

You got a couple of hamsters
in there blowing smoke rings

for Christ's sake?

The left septic valve wasn't
open. I got it now.

You're gonna see some smoke now.

Okay, good. All right.
Call it, Wanda.

Uh, and, lock it up.

Nick, I need to talk
to you for a minute.

What?

In private.

Okay,
release the lockup,

and everyone stand by.

Yo, Bob, you still ain't
getting no smoke, man.

I really don't like being
spoken to like this, Nick.

I don't like your attitude.

- I don't have an attitude.
- The hell you don't!

Every time I ask you
to do something,

it's "no, no, no,
hand-held. " I'm sick of it!

I hired you to do a job.
If you're not going to do it,

you better let me know right now.

I'm...
I'm sorry, Nick.

I'm just going through some
really heavy shit right now.

- What do you mean?
- I can't really talk about it,

but it's pretty heavy.
- Personal?

Personal, professional
and emotional.

It's really doing
a number on me, man.

Now you're telling me
that you're gonna fire me.

I can't handle it.

I never said that.
Wolf, I'm not gonna fire you.

You're doing a great job.

- Am I?
- Yeah, man.

I don't know what I'd do without you.
You've got a great eye.

I just hope it's not the one
under that eye patch.

Hey, listen, Wolf.

Let me tell you something
I've learned. All right?

Sometimes you just have
to roll with things, you know?

You're right.

Yeah, so just, just,
just roll with it, man.

It'll be okay.

Thanks, bro.

- That's where the oil goes.
- No, it's where the gas goes.

I'm tellin' you, Bob,
that's where the oil go.

Lester, don't you think Bob knows
where the oil goes?

I don't remember
using oil in '85.

(woman's voice):
That's a hard one.

Maybe that's where both the oil
and the gas go.

- I...I think he's right.
- I think he is too.

Three parts gas,
one part oil.

(Nick):
All right, we're all set now.

Okay, everybody, come on,
let's look alive here.

Okay.

- Is my notebook here yet?
- Any minute, Nick.

Good.
Call it, Wanda.

Action on the smoke
machine, and roll sound.

Speed.

- Roll camera.
- Rollin'.

Scene six, take three.

Action.

I am so hungry.

- Oh... shit. Uh... whoa!
- Jesus!

All right, cut, cut, cut!

[explosion sound]

Bob, are you okay?

Pull the PH-IQ!

- You all right?
- I can't find the switch.

All right, okay, all right!
Clear the set!

Ellen, Tito, please step off the set!

- What did you do?
- I'm off the set.

- So am I.
Well, who's that?

- Nick, Wanda...
- Who is that? Get off the set!

I'm back with Nick's notebook.

Please get us
some water in here!

' "I, Nicky,
_ Morn?

Her name is Cora Reve. R-e-v-e.

Blue housecoat,
blue slippers.

How do I know that?
She's sitting 20 feet away from me.

Yeah, well, sweetheart, that's
gonna be a real fuckin' problem...

because I don't have
available people to go...

She was waiting outside Nick's place
when I went to get his notebook.

She said she was looking for him,
so I figured I should bring her here.

You look really pretty in that dress.

- How did you get here?
- I took a bus here.

- Went right to your apartment.
- How did you get out of your room?

Oh, I just went
right through the door.

- It was unlocked?
- Oh, no, it was locked!

I just went right through it.

It's something
I've learned to do, Nick.

I can walk through
just about anything, like air.

Mom, you've got to stop this.
I'm serious, okay?

I'm a little upset with you.

You could have gotten lost
or hurt.

But I wanted to see you, Nick.
I miss you.

Mom, I miss you too,
but this is not really a good time.

Nick, they're sending a car.
It'll be here in a couple of hours.

- They didn't even know she was gone.
- Jesus, I don't believe this.

Oh, I'm sorry, Nick.

If I knew there was gonna
be a wedding,

I would have worn my fuckin' hat.

Ho, ho, ho.

Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha.

Over here,
in this blue chair.

All right, you just sit here.
Can you see?

Is the little fellow
going to do gymnastics?

Shh!

No, Mom!
Come on now.

You've got to be quiet,
all right? Absolutely quiet.

Okay.

Okay, where the hell are we?
What's going on?

How's the smoke machine?

It's dead. I've got calls to every
effects house in the city.

I can't locate one here,
but in Los Angeles...

Okay, forget it, forget it!

We'll shoot without it.
- But, Nick, it is a dream sequence.

I know, Wanda. It's okay.
We still have Tito.

All right?
We'll just gonna have to roll with it.

Right, Wolf?

Yeah. All right.
Good, here we go.

- Ellen... all right, listen to me.
- Nick, I... okay...

You've got to reach for that apple.
Keep reaching for it.

I don't feel like
you really want it.

You're looking at it like,
oh, it's an apple, yeah,

but you gotta want it,
all right?

I don't know what you have to do,
how many times I have to tell you.

But you've got to want
that apple, all right?

Nicole, what...

Two seconds, Wanda.
Then we shoot, goddamn it!

Nicole, what's the matter?

You tell me. You're the one with
the bug up your ass.

Hey, wait just one second!

You know, you've been picking
on me all day, Nick!

I can't do anything right!

Well, I'm sorry if I've been
short with you, Nicole,

but I think you can see
I'm under a little pressure here.

I'm shooting a dream sequence
without a smoke machine,

I've got my mother inside thinking
she's at a circus wedding...

and then you tell me
the whole movie seems fake!

I never said that.

You did too! You said,
"everything feels fake"!

I meant me!
I feel fake!

Everything I'm doing
feels fake!

I can't act!
I should just do shower scenes...

in Richard Gere movies
for the rest of my life!

Nicole, that's ridiculous.
You're a fantastic actress.

All you have to do is show me

you want that apple more than
anything else in the world.

Don't give up.
Understand?

Okay.

- You ready, Nick?
- One second. You ready?

- Yeah.
- Come on.

Look out.

- Sorry, Nick.
- How's your dress?

Here we go.
Everybody concentrate and focus.

Tito, we're still looking
for a little laugh, pal.

- Heard you the first time.
- Call it, Wanda.

Okay, picture's up.

There will be no smoke,
in this scene, all right?

No smoke. No smoke
in the dream sequence.

And lock it up.

- Roll sound. Roll camera.
- Speed.

- Rolling.
- Scene six, take four.

Action.

I am so hungry.

Mfifn!

(man's voice): That was great.
What is the matter?

Cut!

(Wanda): Please stand by, people.
It's only a momentary delay.

We're gonna be going again
right away.

Listen to me, Mom.
Do not move from this chair.

Do you understand me?

Jesus, you sound
just like your father.

Mom, I'm serious!

Okay.
Okay, I won't move.

Thank you.

- I won't move.
- Okay, good.

Very good.

Tito...

I think we're having
a little communication problem here.

- All I want you to do is laugh. Okay?
- Why?

- I told you why.
- Tell me again.

Look, Tito, you're overanalyzing this
whole thing. All right?

(Tito): I wanna be specific.

(Nick): Good.
Where'd you study?

(Tito): That's irrelevant,
where I studied.

I just want you to know...
- I'm just trying to get a feel...

(Tito): In order to laugh, you don't
need a technique. You just laugh.

I want you to show me
how to laugh.

That's great, I showed you.
I don't want you to copy my laugh.

You just do whatever laugh.
Think of the funniest thing...

(Tito): What if I don't think
anything's funny?

(Tito): Maybe you could give
me something funny.

(Nick): I don't know your life,

so you're gonna have
to help me out here.

(Tito): Well, it's not
a very fun life.

(Nick)! Okay?
(Tito): Why?

Look, Tito, it's not
that big of a deal.

It's a dream.
Strange things happen in a dream.

All I want you to do is laugh.
Why is that such a problem for you?

- Why does it have to be a dwarf?
- What?

Why does my character
have to be a dwarf?

- It doesn't have to be a dwarf.
- Then why is he?

Is that the only way you
can make this a dream?

Put a dwarf in it?

No, Tito, I...

Have you ever had a dream
with a dwarf in it?

Do you know anyone who's had a dream
with a dwarf in it? No!

I don't even have dreams
with dwarves in them.

The only place I've
seen dwarves in dreams

is in stupid movies like this!

Oh, make it weird.
Put a dwarf in it.

Everyone will go,
"whoa, whoa, whoa!

It must be a fuckin' dream!
There's a fuckin' dwarf in it!"

Well, I'm sick of it!

You can take this dream sequence
and shove it up your ass!

♪ [music playing]

Nick, I can get right
on the phone.

We can try to get another
small person here...

as soon as possible.

No.
He's absolutely right.

Do you wanna just shoot with
Ellen, Nick?

She could be
in the dream by herself.

No.

We're not gonna
shoot anything.

I'm sorry.

Thanks for all your help,
but... it's over.

I can't take it anymore.

I tried to roll with it...

but it's time
to face the music.

I can't do this.

The shoot is over.

I give up.

Shit.

Take the camera
off the dolly, start putting it away.

(woman's voice):
He can't be serious.

Give me that apple.

(Mom): I'm ready, Nick.

(woman): What does that mean?

(Nick): [whispering] Roll sound.
Roll camera, Wolf. Roll camera.

- Give me the camera.
- Shh, shh, shh.

- (Nick): Action.
- I am so hungry.

A'

I'm so hungry.

[laughter]

Cut! Whoa, whoa, Wolf,
talk to me, man. Did you get that?

Got it! Nick,
I'm tellin' ya, everything!

- The laugh?
- Yeah, see? Perfect!

Now that's what I meant
about goin' hand-held.

You're a genius!

- What about the focus?
- Nailed it!

Yes! Okay! All right!

- Going again, Nick?
- How was the sound?

I could use another,
but definitely acceptable.

Mom, you kook!
That was incredible!

Did you know we were filming?
- Of course I knew you were filming.

You're a natural!

Nicole, that was beautiful!
That was it! Come here.

Oh, don't you dare tell me
that felt fake.

- Going again, Nick?
- Uh, all right, let me just think.

Can I really use this
for the dream sequence?

That's the question.

Does it work
for the dream sequence?

- We're gonna go with it, Wanda!
- All right, everybody, listen up!

That was a wrap on scene six!

Put it there, pal!
We're gonna roll with it!

Hold it, hold it,
hold it! Hold it! Hold it!

Hold it, hold it!

- What?
- I still have to record room tone.

I'll need 30 seconds
of silence.

Okay, okay, everybody,
30 seconds of silence.

I want to talk to you.

- What's room tone?
- You just have to be quiet, Mom.

- Shut up!
- It's for the sound guy.

The sooner we do this,
the sooner it's finished with.

Quiet! Quiet!

Now, nobody move!

- Roll sound.
- Speed.

Mic's in position.

Scene six, room tone,
rolling.

(Announcer): We have a new category
this year:

"Best film ever made
by a human being."

And the winner is...

♪ [music]

None other than my best bud,
Nick Reve!

[loud applause]

Had any experience?

Um, well, I was,
I was an actress for awhile.

Yeah, but can you
cook a hamburger?

Probably.

Oh!

I'm sorry, Wolf.
Please, please forgive me!

I love you, Wolf! I love you!
Give me another chance.

Oh!

Oh!

[panting]

You know what I love
about you...

is you're not afraid
of my power.

Oh, god, Wanda,
I love your power.

It's like an aphrodisiac to me!

(woman): That's my big beef special.
I'm gonna take it right over.

(woman): Hey, Mo, how's your baby?

Mmm.

(woman): Dr. Zamansky, Dr. Zamansky,

please call extension 2906.

Dr. Hubert, Dr. Hubert, please
call the administrator's office.

In closing, I would...

I would like to say
to all the people out there...

who told me
not to make this movie...

who, who said no to me
when I asked them for money...

who, who wouldn't even read the script
or return a simple phone call.

To my favorite teacher
at film school who,

whose parting advice
to me was to, uh, try

and find a job somewhere...

teaching Spanish
at a women's college.

And to, uh...

Delores Del Sorto,
the girl I loved...

I mean, I really loved
in high school...

who, who left me for...

a-a-a junior varsity football player.

To all these people
and many more,

I- I would love to say thank you,

but I can't...

because what I really
feel like saying is...

ugo fun. n

And... that's a cut
on room tone.

- Okay, strike the set!
- Oh! Sorry, Mom.

Props, art department,
we're moving on to scene 31.

Sit down over there.

Okay, let's go, people!
Come on!

Where's my notebook?

Nick? Nick!
Has anyone seen Nick?

Can Nicole
get out of her wardrobe?

All right,
camera off the dolly!

Nick!
I want a twenty on Nick.