Little Nicholas (2009) - full transcript
Nicolas has a happy existence, parents who love him, a great group of friends with whom he has great fun, and all he wants is that nothing changes. However, one day, he overhears a conversation that leads him to believe that his life might change forever, his mother is pregnant! He panics and envisions the worst.
Children, all of you: sit or stand up straight!
This way! Look at the camera!
Children! Come on!
Children, turn forward and stand still, if you please!
This way! Straight! The two of you who are fighting...
At school our teacher gave us a funny essay topic...
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Come on, Nicolas, it is not difficult.
It's difficult, if you don't know what you want to be.
The others knew...
Alceste, for example, wants to be a minister...
Alceste is my best friend. He's a fatty who's always eating.
That is blood sausage, this is thymus,
those are kidneys...
And that is liver pate.
That seems yucky, but it's really tasty.
Why does he want to be minister?
Because you often get to go to banquets.
On Christmas Eve we're having Grandma,
Aunt Dorothe, and Uncle Eugene.
We're having liverwurst, stuffed turkey, and chestnuts.
Geoffroy will be working with his father.
Geoffroy lives in a large house, with a huge garden.
He even has a swimming pool in the form of an onion.
Geoffroy's Pop is very rich, and buys him whatever he wants.
You should not get involved with Geoffroy while he's dressing.
Because his father is rich,
Albert the gardener brings him to school.
That's Clotaire. He loves bikes.
It is an ultra fast racing bike!
- Why's it got saddlebags?
- For quick errands.
Clotaire wants to be a champion bike-rider.
- Clotaire, what did I just say?
- Clotaire is the class dunce.
- Scaffold?
- What is a scaffold?
Something for them to shave wood?
Go into the corner.
He always gets everything upside down.
Thanks to his report card he can't watch TV anymore...
and he gets no dessert.
The Director tells him this:
Your parents have a good education... why not you?
The report card ceremony is hardly fun for anyone.
Nicolas: "Often distracted, could do better."
The only one who doesn't care is Eudes.
Eudes: "Bully in the classroom and in the playground...
"with adequate grades."
My father never says anything. You know why not?
I look him straight in the eye.
Then he looks at the report card, and says nothing.
What an awful report card! No dessert tonight!
Given his father's eyes, the trick isn't likely.
Eudes says he wants to be a bandit.
But that's not a job, bandit?
Sure it is! If there were no crooks,
there were no policemen.
And then your father would be out of a job,
and you'd live in a shack.
- What did you say?
- I said, in a shack!
Rufus wants to be a policeman, like his father.
But when it comes to mischief, he's the best!
Guys, look, who am I?
- Frankenstein?
- Dracula?
- The Phantom of the Louvre?
- A werewolf?
No, guys! It is Mr. Bouillon!
Mr. Bouillon, the playground guard.
We call him that because he always says: "Look into my eyes."
Bouillon soup and staring eyes.
I don't actually understand it myself,
but the big guys have told me.
He loves to give lines.
Write 100 times: "I can not stab the dragon...
"with the invigilator, in such a grotesque way...
"that definitely is not the reality
upon which the object is based."
He's never bothered Agnan.
Agnan is the best in the class, and the teacher's pet.
But his specialty is as a dirty snitch.
Miss, Miss! They're talking.
We can hate him, but we can't beat him up...
because he wears glasses.
Agnan doesn't know what he wants to do.
Miss, he's trying to copy!
At my age, my dad knew what he wanted to be.
He often says that if he weren't married to Mom...
then he would have been a star footballer.
Or maybe a swimming champion.
- Or:...
- Cycling champion.
A Gossip-champion, you could be sure. World-class, even.
That's Mr. Blediole, our neighbor.
Have you nothing better to do than eavesdrop?
I listen without prejudice, I enjoy it.
Just like the rest of the neighborhood.
- You've been warned.
- Why, what you gonna do?
He and Daddy really like bickering.
He's a champion gossiper at the drop of a hat?
And then there's Mom...
My mother always wanted to be just a mother.
I think they have everything they want.
I do not know why I would want anything different later...
because my life is now just super-fantastic.
I definitely would not want that to change.
Who can me tell the story of Tom Thumb?
- Eudes?
- ...He was small?
Yes, OK. But more?
- Rufus?
- He's small enough to break into places easily?
Not quite.
- Alceste?
- He's small because he doesn't eat enough.
- Not quite.
- Miss, Miss, Miss!
Nicolas?
- Miss, Miss!
- Well, go ahead, Agnan.
He was called Tom Thumb, Tom Thumb,
because he was as small as a thumb.
He was the youngest son of a poor woodcutter family.
His parents decided that they were too poor to
keep their kids and left them in the forest.
Then...
Joaquim! Congratulations!
News Flash: Joaquim has a new brother!
Silence!
Clotaire, what are you doing?
I was having a nice sleep. Then my dad woke me up.
He had dressed quickly, and hadn't
shaved --- then he said I had a brother!
And then?
Then my father brought me to my mother.
She lay in a hospital bed, and was as happy as my dad.
And beside her... sigh... My brother.
- And you aren't happy?
- Why should I be?
He screams all day, which my father says is cute.
But when I try it, he slaps me on the head.
Just get near the cradle, and I get another one to the head.
- How big is the baby?
- Maybe so big...
Pretty soon he'll be up to here.
Yes, and then you'll have to share your room with him!
Never! It's MY room!
- Well, he could still sleep in the garden?
- We don't have one.
- Then make a garden?
- Or in the garage?
This is the pits. I wanted a bike, not a brother.
You're doomed. He'll eat up all your candy.
And you can't complain, because they'll think you're jealous.
Yeah, exactly, they say you're jealous
and you get your head bashed.
- Before you know it, you'll be sleeping in the garage.
- I tell you, you're doomed.
- But did they say anything, though?
- No.
- Although, my father was acting strange lately.
- How?
- He was super-kind to my mother.
For example, he carried a lot of heavy shopping.
And then he said: "No, honey, don't tire yourself out."
He even took out the trash without grumbling. Weird.
- Mama?
- Yes, darling?
How are babies made?
- Ah, look, your father's home!
- Surprise!
"For Nicolas, son of a hard working father.
"Signed: Roger Moucheboume."
Mr. Moucheboume is Daddy's boss.
Sir, have you already read the letter I had placed on your desk?
What letter?
That letter about my salary increase.
I thought since we last discussed...
This can wait. Besides, I have a job for you.
My parents often fight over his job.
He exploits you, and you do nothing about it!
OK, I'll hand in my resignation! Nicolas, pack your suitcase.
We'll live in a caravan.
Super! I'm packing...
Dad and Mom often argue anyway.
- What have you brought home?
- A trifle, really. It was a bargain.
Where will we put it? Anyhow, we'll
soon truly poor, is that what you want?
We'll find somewhere. Maybe that round table?
But I thought Mr. Moucheboume had said...
It's not certain. So where do you want this?
It's not certain? We can't really pay for a TV,
The car isn't even paid off yet.
Should I bring it back? What do you want me to do?
Boil me in oil, but I can't stand this!
But eventually they always cooperate.
Well... Put it over there.
Well, almost always...
- Nicolas?
- Yes?
- Don't ever get married.
- OK.
Nicolas, maybe you should write a letter...
a thank-you note to Mr. Moucheboume.
Dear sir... no... Moucheboume Dear sir,
No... Dear Mr. Moucheboume... Wait... Dearest?
Dear, Dear or Dear Mr. Moucheboume?
I hear nothing while I'm in the kitchen.
Dear, Dear or Dear Mr. Moucheboume?
- Dear Mr. Moucheboume.
- No, that is too conventional.
If you know things that well, why ask me then?
Well then... Moucheboume Dear Sir, Space...
I was very surprised by your surprise... no.
I was very pleased with your happy... no, surprise.
I was surprised by your impressive... no.
I was pleasantly surprised by your huge surprise...
Oh, yes... make it gargantuan.
Well... the big surprise... your beautiful gift received...
- Your...
- Super-gift?
No... your wonderful gift.
The kid is right, "super" sounds much more sincere...
How can we write if you keep interrupting us?
Well, your beautiful gift, the following sentence.
Sincerely Yours... no.
Sincerely, or Yours?
Write it... my love... and ready. Give me.
Nicolas, please.
Nicolas!
Stop that God-forsaken thing!
So I never get that better job.
Maybe if we ask the Moucheboumes over for dinner?
"He even took out the trash without grumbling."
- No, Honey, I'll go...
- How sweet of you.
- Where are the cups?
- Oh wait, I'll get them.
- No problem, relax.
- Oh, let me do it.
- I'm getting a little brother!
- Where?
No idea, but it went exactly as Joaquim said!
Where is Joaquim, anyway?
Children.
No lessons today, the school doctor is here for your checkups.
Miss, Joaquim isn't here yet.
I already know, his parents called.
Follow me in silence.
- Strange about Joaquim.
- Maybe it's his brother!
Maybe his parents left him in the woods...
like Tom Thumb!
- Did it hurt?
- A super lot of pain.
So bad they had to tie us down.
I don't want to! Mama!
What is going on? Calm down.
If you're good at the doctor, then I'll call on you more often.
- Even during recess?
- Yes. - Yes!
Come on, let's go.
I'm going to show you pictures, and you say what you think of.
Ready?
What do you see?
My father's car.
My father's boat.
My father's airplane.
Cough again.
Fine.
- Cough again?
- That's fine.
Cough again?
Go ahead.
I do not know how, I haven't studied for this.
Say just what you think.
It looks like a date.
A date. You see a date?
- I don't know.
- A date.
- That wasn't me.
- Not you. OK.
And this?
- That's not fair, I didn't draw these.
Take your glasses off and tell me what you see.
Take your glasses off, I said.
- And this? Something from your father?
- No, this is my mom's fur coat...
the fur coat my father bought.
Next. No, no bread.
It's a boy who finds a bean.
He plants it but it grows into a baby...
getting bigger and bigger...
and finally it's giant, that the boy attacks.
He kills it and eats it.
So I said: Why not come over for a cozy dinner...
together with Mrs. Moucheboume?
- And what did he say?
- He thought it's great. I consult with you and we pick a date!
I'm so happy, honey! But tell me...
what kind of woman is Mrs. Moucheboume?
No idea, a boss's wife, that sort of thing I guess?
- But she is very cultivated, or...
- No idea, we've never met.
- Anyway, if they come, then everything must be perfect!
- Of course.
And what about Nicolas? He stays here?
- No, that's impossible.
- I'm afraid you're right.
- Nicolas, won't you eat? To grow up big and strong!
And next weekend, if we agree, how
about a nice walk in the woods?
You've got to get a handle on this.
Exactly, you just give a gift to your mother.
A ham for example.
Then she'll see that you're good, and she won't leave you.
No, you have to buy her a ring! My dad always does.
That always works.
I have only 3 francs.
Hello. Can I help you?
Hi, I would like to buy some flowers for my mother.
How sweet! She's lucky, your mother.
Then they won't leave him in the woods.
- How much are those roses there?
- 3 francs.
Super, I'll take that!
No --- 3 francs per flower.
Can I borrow some money, I'll pay you back.
I'm sorry, I've just got enough for my lunch.
- How about you?
- I don't have any.
- Why, you still have your pocket money, right?
- Yeah, so? That's my money!
- Some friends!
- It's for your mother!
If I wasn't holding these flowers, I'd clobber you!
Calm down, kids!
- I'm keeping them down here.
- Here, take this!
Murderer!
What a beautiful rose, Darling!
Clotaire was right. The tactic had worked nicely.
Over the next few days, I did everything I could to please Mom.
I even wore my itchy blue suit...
to go along with Mom for dinner at Mrs. Court-Plaque's.
- And he's so handsome!
- Here's a kiss.
Ah, there's Marie-Edwige!
This is Marie-Edwige. Quite attractive, but
she's a girl, so she's not so interesting.
Show Nicolas your room!
What'll we play?
We could play "nursing sister".
It is wartime, and you're injured and frightened.
I take care of you.
I'd rather play cards.
- OK, what can you play?
- War?
I know a better game.
It was very complicated., Marie-Edwige won the game.
She always had good cards because she took mine.
Now she had them...
and I did not.
Even the cards had a different value.
So she took a my king with a 3.
- But...
- What?
And then there were the tricks...
And I always lost.
- It's sticky.
- Quit squirming!
Later on the girlfriends
of Marie-Edwige dropped by.
And we played fine.
But after a while...
Maybe I could change schools.
- Good bye, Nicolas!
- Bye, Nicolas!
That was a nice day.
Good bye, Marie-Edwige, I had a good time.
I think you're very cute, and hope to see you again soon.
But I finally said...
- I am very proud of you, Nicolas!
- Mom was very happy...
But all the effort was for nothing.
Tomorrow... we were walking in the woods!
Nicolas, what are you doing? Come on, open up.
Get with it! Ha-ha, very funny... now open up!
Open the door immediately!
This is unacceptable! You open that door now!
What are you afraid of? I'm your Mom!
Open up.
And how are we going home, if you don't open the doors?
The rest of the afternoon Mom and Dad were fighting.
I really didn't want to leave my mom.
But I knew that Daddy would eventually win her over.
We're setting up a secret group to help Nicolas.
What's a secret group?
We're heroes who come together to help people.
And our group is called: "El Cid - Children"!
The we have to have a place to hang out.
Good idea, but we also need a password.
"Undaunted Courage"!
Only those who know the password can enter.
Children, time to line up!
Here's a note from my parents.
"Excuse our son Clotaire for not finishing his homework."
Who wrote this?
"Daddy"
- Excuse me, Miss?
- Yes?
If we can't see the apple, can we stand up?
Of course.
Sit!
Stand up!
Sit down.
Children, I can tell you with joy...
that the Minister of Education is coming to visit our school.
I trust you will give him a memorable reception.
And I invite your teacher...
who will craft a display with you...
of a spectacle, in which culture and education go together.
It will make a deep impression.
But our teacher was not so very pleased with a spectacle.
She already tried something already with us: a play.
But Geoffroy, what the hell is that costume for?
A close-order drill.
Alright... but what are you doing, away?
Pay attention! And left and right and left...
Bunch of amateurs! Are you the pride of France?
And even a choir... But it was beyond us.
Sorry, that's all I can do.
It may well slow down the curriculum.
- Someone could recite a poem?
- Very well.
- "The Raven and the Fox" or something.
- Yes, fine.
You, little friend, can you recite
for me "The Raven and the Fox"?
I do not know it by heart...
but it was a raven with blue cheese in its mouth.
No, really it was Camembert!
Not, Camembert melts in your mouth out, and it's totally yucky!
Enough, enough! Everyone quiet down!
Go on drawing.
- Password:
- "Undaunted Courage".
- Password:
- "Undaunted Courage".
"Undaunted Courage".
"Undaunted Courage".
- Password:
- "Terrible Courage"?
Password, or you can't enter.
"Many Courage"?
"Super Courage"?
Well, first we need a boss. That's me.
- And why you?
- Because I'm a natural leader.
- The strongest is the Boss!
- No, the oldest is the Boss... so it's me.
No, Clotaire's the oldest, he was left back.
We didn't come here to fight.
We can do that at school.
Hello? Just a moment, I'll check...
Sir? The Minister --- he wants an appointment with you.
- Here, see for yourself here in the agenda.
- Very well, sir.
- Your shirts are ready, Sir.
- Thank you, lay them down.
I also polished your shoes.
- Do you hear what I say?
- Huh?
I said I changed my mind.
I don't want to have dinner with the Moucheboumes after all.
What? Why not?
Because I have no dress, no jewelry, and I can't drive.
Honey, what do you mean?
I don't want to look like a boring
housewife in front of Mrs. Moucheboume.
What's boring?
Do you think her husband stops Mrs. Moucheboume from driving?
No! Do you think she takes the bus? Absolutely not!
- So she can drive but I can't?.
- Seems logical.
Do you think Madame Moucheboume
doesn't have a nice dress to go out?
- Of course she does.
- But I don't.
- How about that mint-green dress I bought for you, then...
- I can't wear that old thing every time!
- You don't.
She does pretty often, though.
Do you think Mrs. Moucheboume is only
concerned with only her family, her home?
No, she's a modern woman.
Classy, independent, and I'm only a hausfrau.
All I can do is cook, I am not going to
humiliate myself for the entire evening.
So let's cancel the dinner.
Well, then. I do not want my wife to feel humiliated.
Tomorrow we'll go buy a dress at Galerie Lafayette.
- With jewelry?
- With jewels.
- And driving lessons?
- That, too.
How expensive can it be?
- "Courage... " Well?
- "Inflamed"!
So, everyone is the Boss of his own group.
For example: Geoffroy is the boss for
Eudes, Rufus, and Alceste and me.
Rufus is the boss of Eudes, Clotaire, and me...
Eudes was the boss of Geoffroy,
Rufus, me, and Alceste.
And I have you all in my group. Agreed?
- Yes.
- OK, now what?
Eureka, I know!
We'll clean your house. Your parents
will be so happy that they'll love you.
So be nice, Nicolas.
We'll be back in about two hours if your mother cooperates.
Why did you say that? "If your mother cooperates?"
- Simply that I do not know.
- Well, then just say that.
We have two hours.
- Accelerator...
- Stop it!
I'm doing my best!
Brake!
Now what? Don't give up too soon.
I was very curious how my parents would find the house...
OK, the first time was not all...
I would never succeed in making them like me.
So I decided to run away from home.
I took everything I thought I'd need.
So I went on the road.
I wanted to go far away,
far away to China or someplace.
Mom and Dad would miss me.
and I would just return...
if I was captain of a warship, and could earn lots of money.
With my money, I'd take them to the cinema...
and everyone would say: Look! It's Nicolas!
He has heaps of money and even pays
for the cinema for his parents...
even though they don't much care for him!
So you gave up?
No, I've been thinking.
I'm not the one who should leave.
After all, I was here first.
The person who's got to go is the baby.
So if the baby shows up...
we get rid of it.
How?
We bring him to the shelter!
That won't work, they'll know he's not an animal.
I know! We leave him behind in the jungle.
Then he'll be raised by wolves!
I've read something about that, it's terrible.
No, the jungle is too far away.
We'll hide him in a hut, and he'll be our secret.
We'll bathe and feed him.
- I can only help on Thursdays.
- Yeah, me, too...
And me, just Thursdays.
Me too, unless I'm grounded, but that's almost all the time.
Well, he could hunt. Like my grandma's cat.
Very funny, babies aren't cats --- they can't feed themselves.
I heard everything.
What have you heard, Tattletale?
You want the Nicolas's baby brother
to live in a hut in the jungle...
and you're going to make him eat a cat.
I'm going to tell the teacher...
and also the Director! You'll be severely punished!
- Unless...
- Unless what?
- Unless you back my idea for the spectacle to the teacher.
And what's your idea?
We have a good idea...
but we can not kidnap the baby ourselves.
When the police catch on, we'd be doomed.
The only solution:
The baby has to be abducted by a gangster.
A gangster? But where do you get that idea?
Pssst! Sir!
Come here!
Who can tell me what river passes through Paris?
Clotaire?
Clotaire, did you hear the question?
Which river runs through Paris?
Yeah, what's that river?
- Come on!
- It is...
- Clotaire?
- Yes, Ma'am?
Have you ever been with your parents on a boat before?
- Yes, Ma'am.
- And where was that?
Along the Seine.
You see?
Underlying the litteratie is the counting of syllables...
If the accentuation, which is found in the Icelandic poetry...
such Snorrisn SNN... uh
I can't really comment.
Then you simply sit.
Help me or give me some feedback?
Snorri Sturluson
Snorri Sturluson who has laid the basis,
by the noun to replace...
a paraphrase or a metaphor.
- One more thing... music!
- Ah no, Darling...
I do not think Mrs. Moucheboume wants to talk about music...
especially after everything you've said about
Scandinavian poetry from the 13th century.
I think she is a happy, cultivated person to meet...
who enjoys interesting conversation...
while their men talk business.
- Come on.
- The Baroque-style.
This arises from the Portuguese word Barocco...
Guys! Look!
Francis Leborgne!
Him we must have!
Recess is over? Come on, you brats!
Children. Your teacher is away a few days.
She will be replaced Mrs. Navaranne.
There she is.
Geography: Rivers of France.
Sit down.
Silence!
Well, today's lesson is about rivers.
I know you know all about this subject.
But first we must hang up the map. Who'll do that?
Sit!
I decide who hangs up the map.
You there, in back... Your name?
Clotaire, Ma'am.
You seem more disciplined than the others.
Go and hang up the map.
- But Miss...
- Silence!
I see a stubborn fellow.
And stubborn little guys, I break. Clear?
You there. Tell me about the Seine.
The Seine flows from the Plateau of Langres.
And has a length of 776 km.
It extends into the English Channel.
Very good. And you?
The famous rivers: they are
the Aube, the Loing, the Oise, and the Loing.
Excellent!
And you, Joker? Yes, yes, you.
If I ask you something, you'll have
something to say about the Seine?
I guess not. Into the corner.
That will teach you not to be the class clown.
What's the matter?
He is not used to it, Ma'am.
- Come on, I'll show you.
- Very thoughtful of you.
- There is no yellow-pages for gangster!
- Search Leborgne.
Francis Leborgne! Got it.
- Hello?
- Francis Leborgne?
Just a moment. Francis, for you!
Ask if he can handle the new teacher.
- Yes?
- Francis Leborgne?
- Yes, I am.
- I've got a clean-up job for you.
A clean-up chore? Wouldn't it better to bring it here?
- Why come there?
- I can do it in detail here.
- No, we just want something solved.
- Well, that costs money.
If I come, callout costs at least 500 francs.
We'll call you back.
- What did he say?
- Tell us!
He wants 500 francs.
What a con, a real gangster!
And for the new teacher, how much?
Hey, whose are all those old chocolates?
Do not eat from that, Honey, they've gone off.
"Staff room"
- Yes?
- Here, a present for you!
Oh... that's nice of you. Thank you.
- A housekeeper?
- Yes, I want us to hire a housekeeper.
I won't always have to get up from the table to get food.
And it IS more stylish.
And the menu: "Homard à la mayonnaise".
You know what that would cost?
80 francs per kilo!
We can just do something else with mayonnaise?
And the rest, perhaps, simpler?
A simple meal?
We can also try ham sandwiches in front
of the TV if you just want to eat.
I spent the night wondering...
how my friends and I could come up with 500 francs.
Geoffroy brought something special to school.
How does that work?
Got a coin? You choose a number, e.g. 6...
You put the coin on the grid, I crank the roulette wheel...
And drop the ball...
And you've lost.
Thus we'd get 500 francs as the house cut.
We'd have to play against adults, for their money.
What are you doing? Playing roulette? And for money?
This takes the biscuit!
Do you know where this leads? Prison!
Hand it over. What a great gift from your parents!
And now, everybody into the classroom.
Bad news for you...
Your replacement has suddenly become ill.
"He murders his teacher!"
The accused is found guilty!
And he is a dirty snitch.
Agnan, what is it?
You can't beat me up, I wear glasses.
Julie the teacher just has a cold, and she's staying home today.
You'll stay in the classroom, under
the supervision of a fellow student.
I need someone I can trust.
Well, today we do arithmetic.
Open your workbooks, we'll go with some exercises.
Silence, I'm the boss.
Shrink your head, Tattletale!
Eudes, into the corner.
You gonna eat arithmetic.
- I'm wearing my glasses!
- Not for long!
Geoffroy! We'll get you back the roulette wheel!
OK, but how?
- "Death to the teachers"?! Bravo!
- No, I was going to write "Death to the profiteers"!
Yes that's it, and I'm the Queen of England...
You will explain that to the Director.
Rarely in my career, was I given to suffer such a provocation!
I will not spare you, my young friend.
What punishment do you propose, Mr. Bouillon brouileur... er...?
300 times: "I can not write outrageous things...
"the buildings belonging to the school...
"education and leading me to providing service to the Republic."
As far as "school" seems sufficient.
And don't leave school until you've handed it in!
Understood, little friend?
Do you want a go, Ma'am?
I'll try it, it looks like fun!
- How much can I bet?
- 10 francs!
- And on what number?
- Anything you want.
- Four, for example.
- Come on, then, four.
Ten on number four... in it goes!
I won!
But... is that everything you did in one hour?
Like this.
But where is she?
- Honey, can you tie this?
- I'm tied up myself!
I spent the whole day slaving in the
kitchen and now she's not here.
Where is she?
- Calm down...
- Why calm, tell me that?
The Moucheboumes are almost here, and I have no one to serve!
Ah, there she is.
Here, put that in back in the trash...! Hup hup hup!
- What's this?
- That's "Homard à la mayonnaise".
This is great for guests, but you get delicious ravioli!
- I don't want it, I want lobster.
- Nicolas, stop it!
But where is she now, that klutz!
- Good evening Mr. Moucheboume!
- Good evening, Madam.
My wife isn't here?
I had sent her on ahead, while I parked the car!
She's disappeared.
Oh, Mrs. Moucheboume! What a mistake, sorry!
Come with me... We are all...
Nicolas, go get your dad.
Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Moucheboume.
Ah! Here's the famous Nicolas!
Are you happy with your humming top?
You bet! But Dad does not want me playing with it...
because the bitch makes such a racket.
The next time I'll give you something else.
What would you like?
If you could give me 500 francs, that would be super.
What would you do with 500 francs?
I can only whisper.
I'll get my new brother kidnapped,
so my parents don't throw me away.
Nicolas, listen, if you want to earn money, you must work hard.
You'll have the money then.
If you give it to me now, I'll thank you immediately.
Nicolas, go to the kitchen!
Oh, he's just a child.
- I told them goodbye.
- Very well, here.
And you can start eating.
Do you fancy Scandinavian literature, Mrs. Moucheboume?
Personally, I prefer poetry from the 13th century.
Replacing the personal pronoun, a metaphor...
That is very interesting.
Erm...
I have a particular weakness for...
Snorrie-verses.
Snurkie-Snuf...
Mustache... Storkie Stor-sleeve.
Smeurkiestuf
Did you know that the word "baroque" comes from Portugal?
The city Barocco, known for its oysters.
And by Luly and the chocolate with the same name.
- Are we hungry?
- Yes!
It will be a simple meal.
That's lucky. I hate people...
who try to impress us with things like...
"Homard à la mayonnaise".
One small moment...
Voilà!
"WELCOME TO THE MINISTER"
We can sing in the streets!
Or sell things on the street!
No, we have to find something quickly --- it's a lot of money.
Wait! My dad told me how he became rich!
He found an apple on the street, and sold for 1 franc.
And then?
With the franc, he bought 2 apples, which he sold for 2 francs.
And then?
Then his aunt died, and he got all her money.
And then?
Guys, the girl is back!
There they are!
I want exemplary behavior.
The first one who gives kicks up gets a life sentence.
Is that clear?
OK, good.
Sit, children.
Say, how is your school? Well?
They need to relax, these children.
I have a riddle for you. Listen up.
What is yellow, very small, and it says krok krok.
A chick that eats chips.
- What have you learned this year?
- Rivers.
- I'll try that.
- Well, just stand up, Agnan.
No, the boy in back.
- What's your name, boy?
- Clotaire, Sir.
Well. Say...
Which river flows through Paris?
I think... the river, which flows through Paris.
"Have you ever been with your parents on a boat before?"
The Seine.
Good, Clotaire!
Was it a tough question?
How are the negotiations going?
I would stand firm.
And about what percentage are we talking?
Minimum 10.
Draft a summary for me of the file.
- Hello?
- It's me.
Did Mr. Moucheboume say anything about the food?
I know how to get the money together! Look!
Hey, Guys, are you, like, invincible?
What are you talking about?
Come to the swampy vacant lot --- you know it!
OK, then?
We have the formula of this potion!
Drink it, and you'll get really strong!
It costs 5 francs.
And how do we know it works?
You there. Come here.
And now go push on that bus.
- Next! Pay first.
Paid.
- Do we have enough?
- We might just.
All together, then...
530 francs!
What have you done with my son?
I want to talk to your parents!
Bunch of crooks!
You guys are in for a hiding!
We have money for the cleanup chore.
- Well, where is the car?
- Uh, we'll call you back.
Now he wants us to have a car!
What flavor, sir?
- Pardon?
- Strawberry-Chocolate!
Very well, sir.
The others are waiting at the telephone.
- What?
- I don't know how to drive.
- You have to use the key.
- He took it with him!
Then you have to jump the cables.
I remember that from a movie.
Turning: reasonable. Maneuver in the city: moderate.
Let's see how you park.
Let's head down town.
Come on, follow that car!
Faster, come on, pedal to the metal!
Go down there!
I need a confidant in this company.
You know, I don't plan to live forever.
I must think of a successor.
Look out!
Say, good thing you were there.
By the way, what do you think about internationalization?
You can not deny Europe.
Exactly, I think that now.
- But...
- Shut up.
Parking is also OK.
Thank you.
Your ideas never work out!
Will we get to the phone in time?
I don't know.
- Huh?
- How did we end up here?
- Hi, I would like to talk with Francis Leborgne.
I'll hang on.
- Hey, that's Joaquim!
- Hey, Guys!
But... you're not gone?!
No, I only had the chickenpox.
See, here's my brother. Look how nice he is!
Don't touch him or he'll get sick.
Babies are very sensitive.
Hear that, he said my name!
But you didn't want a brother!
No, but that was before.
Why?
Before I knew it was super being a big brother.
I can teach him all sorts of great things.
Soccer, or cycling.
And I will always be an example.
"At your age, Joachim could already..."
And he will be super impressed.
I can give him orders, and he'll do what I want.
Well, bye, Guys.
Yes? Hello? Hello!
I'm never going to drive a car again in my entire life!
- But you got your license!
- NEVER!
Mommy! Daddy!
Thanks. I'm so happy!
Why, Baby?
- I'm going to have a brother!
- What did you say, Nicolas?
- What brother?
- The baby that Mom gets!
You're not getting a brother --- how did you get that idea?
But... I want a brother!
That would be great, a little brother.
Why can't I have one?
You never get me anything!
That evening, my parents went overboard
continuing with their jokes.
One day, when I came home...
they had big news to tell me.
I do not know how long it takes...
but a baby takes longer than waiting for Christmas.
- Day after tomorrow, then?
- Afraid not.
Life was back to the old ways.
Geoffroy was in trouble for stealing the car.
Now he must walk to school.
I saw Marie-Edwige again.
They invited me to her birthday.
Thursday? I'm busy then, but I'll make time on Friday.
Somehow that didn't sound right...
And we got a new neighbor.
Dad and he have been bickering, too.
And I keep on waiting...
- Tomorrow?
- No.
But soon.
I could not wait to teach my brother things.
And then one morning...
We all went to the hospital.
And then my little brother finally arrived.
- It's a girl!
- WHAT?
Well, give it a kick!
Look!
She's so sweet, a real angel!
She looks exactly like her father.
No, she's the spitting image of her mother.
And Nicolas, are you happy with your sister?
Hard to say.
She is not finished yet, they still
have to install the hair and teeth.
- But she's cute anyway?
- Cute?
She's bright red and wrinkled like roasted peppers.
She sees nothing with her eyes, but she's mastered drooling.
Everyone says she laughs, but she's just blowing bubbles.
I wanted a brother, but Mom had that there instead.
I'm not sure why.
She looks like a shaved cat.
If I had known, I'd have asked for a dog instead.
It's crazy, but at that moment I knew what my essay should be on.
What did I want to do when I grew up?
Make people laugh.
Look at me. Look at me.
This way! Look at the camera!
Children! Come on!
Children, turn forward and stand still, if you please!
This way! Straight! The two of you who are fighting...
At school our teacher gave us a funny essay topic...
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Come on, Nicolas, it is not difficult.
It's difficult, if you don't know what you want to be.
The others knew...
Alceste, for example, wants to be a minister...
Alceste is my best friend. He's a fatty who's always eating.
That is blood sausage, this is thymus,
those are kidneys...
And that is liver pate.
That seems yucky, but it's really tasty.
Why does he want to be minister?
Because you often get to go to banquets.
On Christmas Eve we're having Grandma,
Aunt Dorothe, and Uncle Eugene.
We're having liverwurst, stuffed turkey, and chestnuts.
Geoffroy will be working with his father.
Geoffroy lives in a large house, with a huge garden.
He even has a swimming pool in the form of an onion.
Geoffroy's Pop is very rich, and buys him whatever he wants.
You should not get involved with Geoffroy while he's dressing.
Because his father is rich,
Albert the gardener brings him to school.
That's Clotaire. He loves bikes.
It is an ultra fast racing bike!
- Why's it got saddlebags?
- For quick errands.
Clotaire wants to be a champion bike-rider.
- Clotaire, what did I just say?
- Clotaire is the class dunce.
- Scaffold?
- What is a scaffold?
Something for them to shave wood?
Go into the corner.
He always gets everything upside down.
Thanks to his report card he can't watch TV anymore...
and he gets no dessert.
The Director tells him this:
Your parents have a good education... why not you?
The report card ceremony is hardly fun for anyone.
Nicolas: "Often distracted, could do better."
The only one who doesn't care is Eudes.
Eudes: "Bully in the classroom and in the playground...
"with adequate grades."
My father never says anything. You know why not?
I look him straight in the eye.
Then he looks at the report card, and says nothing.
What an awful report card! No dessert tonight!
Given his father's eyes, the trick isn't likely.
Eudes says he wants to be a bandit.
But that's not a job, bandit?
Sure it is! If there were no crooks,
there were no policemen.
And then your father would be out of a job,
and you'd live in a shack.
- What did you say?
- I said, in a shack!
Rufus wants to be a policeman, like his father.
But when it comes to mischief, he's the best!
Guys, look, who am I?
- Frankenstein?
- Dracula?
- The Phantom of the Louvre?
- A werewolf?
No, guys! It is Mr. Bouillon!
Mr. Bouillon, the playground guard.
We call him that because he always says: "Look into my eyes."
Bouillon soup and staring eyes.
I don't actually understand it myself,
but the big guys have told me.
He loves to give lines.
Write 100 times: "I can not stab the dragon...
"with the invigilator, in such a grotesque way...
"that definitely is not the reality
upon which the object is based."
He's never bothered Agnan.
Agnan is the best in the class, and the teacher's pet.
But his specialty is as a dirty snitch.
Miss, Miss! They're talking.
We can hate him, but we can't beat him up...
because he wears glasses.
Agnan doesn't know what he wants to do.
Miss, he's trying to copy!
At my age, my dad knew what he wanted to be.
He often says that if he weren't married to Mom...
then he would have been a star footballer.
Or maybe a swimming champion.
- Or:...
- Cycling champion.
A Gossip-champion, you could be sure. World-class, even.
That's Mr. Blediole, our neighbor.
Have you nothing better to do than eavesdrop?
I listen without prejudice, I enjoy it.
Just like the rest of the neighborhood.
- You've been warned.
- Why, what you gonna do?
He and Daddy really like bickering.
He's a champion gossiper at the drop of a hat?
And then there's Mom...
My mother always wanted to be just a mother.
I think they have everything they want.
I do not know why I would want anything different later...
because my life is now just super-fantastic.
I definitely would not want that to change.
Who can me tell the story of Tom Thumb?
- Eudes?
- ...He was small?
Yes, OK. But more?
- Rufus?
- He's small enough to break into places easily?
Not quite.
- Alceste?
- He's small because he doesn't eat enough.
- Not quite.
- Miss, Miss, Miss!
Nicolas?
- Miss, Miss!
- Well, go ahead, Agnan.
He was called Tom Thumb, Tom Thumb,
because he was as small as a thumb.
He was the youngest son of a poor woodcutter family.
His parents decided that they were too poor to
keep their kids and left them in the forest.
Then...
Joaquim! Congratulations!
News Flash: Joaquim has a new brother!
Silence!
Clotaire, what are you doing?
I was having a nice sleep. Then my dad woke me up.
He had dressed quickly, and hadn't
shaved --- then he said I had a brother!
And then?
Then my father brought me to my mother.
She lay in a hospital bed, and was as happy as my dad.
And beside her... sigh... My brother.
- And you aren't happy?
- Why should I be?
He screams all day, which my father says is cute.
But when I try it, he slaps me on the head.
Just get near the cradle, and I get another one to the head.
- How big is the baby?
- Maybe so big...
Pretty soon he'll be up to here.
Yes, and then you'll have to share your room with him!
Never! It's MY room!
- Well, he could still sleep in the garden?
- We don't have one.
- Then make a garden?
- Or in the garage?
This is the pits. I wanted a bike, not a brother.
You're doomed. He'll eat up all your candy.
And you can't complain, because they'll think you're jealous.
Yeah, exactly, they say you're jealous
and you get your head bashed.
- Before you know it, you'll be sleeping in the garage.
- I tell you, you're doomed.
- But did they say anything, though?
- No.
- Although, my father was acting strange lately.
- How?
- He was super-kind to my mother.
For example, he carried a lot of heavy shopping.
And then he said: "No, honey, don't tire yourself out."
He even took out the trash without grumbling. Weird.
- Mama?
- Yes, darling?
How are babies made?
- Ah, look, your father's home!
- Surprise!
"For Nicolas, son of a hard working father.
"Signed: Roger Moucheboume."
Mr. Moucheboume is Daddy's boss.
Sir, have you already read the letter I had placed on your desk?
What letter?
That letter about my salary increase.
I thought since we last discussed...
This can wait. Besides, I have a job for you.
My parents often fight over his job.
He exploits you, and you do nothing about it!
OK, I'll hand in my resignation! Nicolas, pack your suitcase.
We'll live in a caravan.
Super! I'm packing...
Dad and Mom often argue anyway.
- What have you brought home?
- A trifle, really. It was a bargain.
Where will we put it? Anyhow, we'll
soon truly poor, is that what you want?
We'll find somewhere. Maybe that round table?
But I thought Mr. Moucheboume had said...
It's not certain. So where do you want this?
It's not certain? We can't really pay for a TV,
The car isn't even paid off yet.
Should I bring it back? What do you want me to do?
Boil me in oil, but I can't stand this!
But eventually they always cooperate.
Well... Put it over there.
Well, almost always...
- Nicolas?
- Yes?
- Don't ever get married.
- OK.
Nicolas, maybe you should write a letter...
a thank-you note to Mr. Moucheboume.
Dear sir... no... Moucheboume Dear sir,
No... Dear Mr. Moucheboume... Wait... Dearest?
Dear, Dear or Dear Mr. Moucheboume?
I hear nothing while I'm in the kitchen.
Dear, Dear or Dear Mr. Moucheboume?
- Dear Mr. Moucheboume.
- No, that is too conventional.
If you know things that well, why ask me then?
Well then... Moucheboume Dear Sir, Space...
I was very surprised by your surprise... no.
I was very pleased with your happy... no, surprise.
I was surprised by your impressive... no.
I was pleasantly surprised by your huge surprise...
Oh, yes... make it gargantuan.
Well... the big surprise... your beautiful gift received...
- Your...
- Super-gift?
No... your wonderful gift.
The kid is right, "super" sounds much more sincere...
How can we write if you keep interrupting us?
Well, your beautiful gift, the following sentence.
Sincerely Yours... no.
Sincerely, or Yours?
Write it... my love... and ready. Give me.
Nicolas, please.
Nicolas!
Stop that God-forsaken thing!
So I never get that better job.
Maybe if we ask the Moucheboumes over for dinner?
"He even took out the trash without grumbling."
- No, Honey, I'll go...
- How sweet of you.
- Where are the cups?
- Oh wait, I'll get them.
- No problem, relax.
- Oh, let me do it.
- I'm getting a little brother!
- Where?
No idea, but it went exactly as Joaquim said!
Where is Joaquim, anyway?
Children.
No lessons today, the school doctor is here for your checkups.
Miss, Joaquim isn't here yet.
I already know, his parents called.
Follow me in silence.
- Strange about Joaquim.
- Maybe it's his brother!
Maybe his parents left him in the woods...
like Tom Thumb!
- Did it hurt?
- A super lot of pain.
So bad they had to tie us down.
I don't want to! Mama!
What is going on? Calm down.
If you're good at the doctor, then I'll call on you more often.
- Even during recess?
- Yes. - Yes!
Come on, let's go.
I'm going to show you pictures, and you say what you think of.
Ready?
What do you see?
My father's car.
My father's boat.
My father's airplane.
Cough again.
Fine.
- Cough again?
- That's fine.
Cough again?
Go ahead.
I do not know how, I haven't studied for this.
Say just what you think.
It looks like a date.
A date. You see a date?
- I don't know.
- A date.
- That wasn't me.
- Not you. OK.
And this?
- That's not fair, I didn't draw these.
Take your glasses off and tell me what you see.
Take your glasses off, I said.
- And this? Something from your father?
- No, this is my mom's fur coat...
the fur coat my father bought.
Next. No, no bread.
It's a boy who finds a bean.
He plants it but it grows into a baby...
getting bigger and bigger...
and finally it's giant, that the boy attacks.
He kills it and eats it.
So I said: Why not come over for a cozy dinner...
together with Mrs. Moucheboume?
- And what did he say?
- He thought it's great. I consult with you and we pick a date!
I'm so happy, honey! But tell me...
what kind of woman is Mrs. Moucheboume?
No idea, a boss's wife, that sort of thing I guess?
- But she is very cultivated, or...
- No idea, we've never met.
- Anyway, if they come, then everything must be perfect!
- Of course.
And what about Nicolas? He stays here?
- No, that's impossible.
- I'm afraid you're right.
- Nicolas, won't you eat? To grow up big and strong!
And next weekend, if we agree, how
about a nice walk in the woods?
You've got to get a handle on this.
Exactly, you just give a gift to your mother.
A ham for example.
Then she'll see that you're good, and she won't leave you.
No, you have to buy her a ring! My dad always does.
That always works.
I have only 3 francs.
Hello. Can I help you?
Hi, I would like to buy some flowers for my mother.
How sweet! She's lucky, your mother.
Then they won't leave him in the woods.
- How much are those roses there?
- 3 francs.
Super, I'll take that!
No --- 3 francs per flower.
Can I borrow some money, I'll pay you back.
I'm sorry, I've just got enough for my lunch.
- How about you?
- I don't have any.
- Why, you still have your pocket money, right?
- Yeah, so? That's my money!
- Some friends!
- It's for your mother!
If I wasn't holding these flowers, I'd clobber you!
Calm down, kids!
- I'm keeping them down here.
- Here, take this!
Murderer!
What a beautiful rose, Darling!
Clotaire was right. The tactic had worked nicely.
Over the next few days, I did everything I could to please Mom.
I even wore my itchy blue suit...
to go along with Mom for dinner at Mrs. Court-Plaque's.
- And he's so handsome!
- Here's a kiss.
Ah, there's Marie-Edwige!
This is Marie-Edwige. Quite attractive, but
she's a girl, so she's not so interesting.
Show Nicolas your room!
What'll we play?
We could play "nursing sister".
It is wartime, and you're injured and frightened.
I take care of you.
I'd rather play cards.
- OK, what can you play?
- War?
I know a better game.
It was very complicated., Marie-Edwige won the game.
She always had good cards because she took mine.
Now she had them...
and I did not.
Even the cards had a different value.
So she took a my king with a 3.
- But...
- What?
And then there were the tricks...
And I always lost.
- It's sticky.
- Quit squirming!
Later on the girlfriends
of Marie-Edwige dropped by.
And we played fine.
But after a while...
Maybe I could change schools.
- Good bye, Nicolas!
- Bye, Nicolas!
That was a nice day.
Good bye, Marie-Edwige, I had a good time.
I think you're very cute, and hope to see you again soon.
But I finally said...
- I am very proud of you, Nicolas!
- Mom was very happy...
But all the effort was for nothing.
Tomorrow... we were walking in the woods!
Nicolas, what are you doing? Come on, open up.
Get with it! Ha-ha, very funny... now open up!
Open the door immediately!
This is unacceptable! You open that door now!
What are you afraid of? I'm your Mom!
Open up.
And how are we going home, if you don't open the doors?
The rest of the afternoon Mom and Dad were fighting.
I really didn't want to leave my mom.
But I knew that Daddy would eventually win her over.
We're setting up a secret group to help Nicolas.
What's a secret group?
We're heroes who come together to help people.
And our group is called: "El Cid - Children"!
The we have to have a place to hang out.
Good idea, but we also need a password.
"Undaunted Courage"!
Only those who know the password can enter.
Children, time to line up!
Here's a note from my parents.
"Excuse our son Clotaire for not finishing his homework."
Who wrote this?
"Daddy"
- Excuse me, Miss?
- Yes?
If we can't see the apple, can we stand up?
Of course.
Sit!
Stand up!
Sit down.
Children, I can tell you with joy...
that the Minister of Education is coming to visit our school.
I trust you will give him a memorable reception.
And I invite your teacher...
who will craft a display with you...
of a spectacle, in which culture and education go together.
It will make a deep impression.
But our teacher was not so very pleased with a spectacle.
She already tried something already with us: a play.
But Geoffroy, what the hell is that costume for?
A close-order drill.
Alright... but what are you doing, away?
Pay attention! And left and right and left...
Bunch of amateurs! Are you the pride of France?
And even a choir... But it was beyond us.
Sorry, that's all I can do.
It may well slow down the curriculum.
- Someone could recite a poem?
- Very well.
- "The Raven and the Fox" or something.
- Yes, fine.
You, little friend, can you recite
for me "The Raven and the Fox"?
I do not know it by heart...
but it was a raven with blue cheese in its mouth.
No, really it was Camembert!
Not, Camembert melts in your mouth out, and it's totally yucky!
Enough, enough! Everyone quiet down!
Go on drawing.
- Password:
- "Undaunted Courage".
- Password:
- "Undaunted Courage".
"Undaunted Courage".
"Undaunted Courage".
- Password:
- "Terrible Courage"?
Password, or you can't enter.
"Many Courage"?
"Super Courage"?
Well, first we need a boss. That's me.
- And why you?
- Because I'm a natural leader.
- The strongest is the Boss!
- No, the oldest is the Boss... so it's me.
No, Clotaire's the oldest, he was left back.
We didn't come here to fight.
We can do that at school.
Hello? Just a moment, I'll check...
Sir? The Minister --- he wants an appointment with you.
- Here, see for yourself here in the agenda.
- Very well, sir.
- Your shirts are ready, Sir.
- Thank you, lay them down.
I also polished your shoes.
- Do you hear what I say?
- Huh?
I said I changed my mind.
I don't want to have dinner with the Moucheboumes after all.
What? Why not?
Because I have no dress, no jewelry, and I can't drive.
Honey, what do you mean?
I don't want to look like a boring
housewife in front of Mrs. Moucheboume.
What's boring?
Do you think her husband stops Mrs. Moucheboume from driving?
No! Do you think she takes the bus? Absolutely not!
- So she can drive but I can't?.
- Seems logical.
Do you think Madame Moucheboume
doesn't have a nice dress to go out?
- Of course she does.
- But I don't.
- How about that mint-green dress I bought for you, then...
- I can't wear that old thing every time!
- You don't.
She does pretty often, though.
Do you think Mrs. Moucheboume is only
concerned with only her family, her home?
No, she's a modern woman.
Classy, independent, and I'm only a hausfrau.
All I can do is cook, I am not going to
humiliate myself for the entire evening.
So let's cancel the dinner.
Well, then. I do not want my wife to feel humiliated.
Tomorrow we'll go buy a dress at Galerie Lafayette.
- With jewelry?
- With jewels.
- And driving lessons?
- That, too.
How expensive can it be?
- "Courage... " Well?
- "Inflamed"!
So, everyone is the Boss of his own group.
For example: Geoffroy is the boss for
Eudes, Rufus, and Alceste and me.
Rufus is the boss of Eudes, Clotaire, and me...
Eudes was the boss of Geoffroy,
Rufus, me, and Alceste.
And I have you all in my group. Agreed?
- Yes.
- OK, now what?
Eureka, I know!
We'll clean your house. Your parents
will be so happy that they'll love you.
So be nice, Nicolas.
We'll be back in about two hours if your mother cooperates.
Why did you say that? "If your mother cooperates?"
- Simply that I do not know.
- Well, then just say that.
We have two hours.
- Accelerator...
- Stop it!
I'm doing my best!
Brake!
Now what? Don't give up too soon.
I was very curious how my parents would find the house...
OK, the first time was not all...
I would never succeed in making them like me.
So I decided to run away from home.
I took everything I thought I'd need.
So I went on the road.
I wanted to go far away,
far away to China or someplace.
Mom and Dad would miss me.
and I would just return...
if I was captain of a warship, and could earn lots of money.
With my money, I'd take them to the cinema...
and everyone would say: Look! It's Nicolas!
He has heaps of money and even pays
for the cinema for his parents...
even though they don't much care for him!
So you gave up?
No, I've been thinking.
I'm not the one who should leave.
After all, I was here first.
The person who's got to go is the baby.
So if the baby shows up...
we get rid of it.
How?
We bring him to the shelter!
That won't work, they'll know he's not an animal.
I know! We leave him behind in the jungle.
Then he'll be raised by wolves!
I've read something about that, it's terrible.
No, the jungle is too far away.
We'll hide him in a hut, and he'll be our secret.
We'll bathe and feed him.
- I can only help on Thursdays.
- Yeah, me, too...
And me, just Thursdays.
Me too, unless I'm grounded, but that's almost all the time.
Well, he could hunt. Like my grandma's cat.
Very funny, babies aren't cats --- they can't feed themselves.
I heard everything.
What have you heard, Tattletale?
You want the Nicolas's baby brother
to live in a hut in the jungle...
and you're going to make him eat a cat.
I'm going to tell the teacher...
and also the Director! You'll be severely punished!
- Unless...
- Unless what?
- Unless you back my idea for the spectacle to the teacher.
And what's your idea?
We have a good idea...
but we can not kidnap the baby ourselves.
When the police catch on, we'd be doomed.
The only solution:
The baby has to be abducted by a gangster.
A gangster? But where do you get that idea?
Pssst! Sir!
Come here!
Who can tell me what river passes through Paris?
Clotaire?
Clotaire, did you hear the question?
Which river runs through Paris?
Yeah, what's that river?
- Come on!
- It is...
- Clotaire?
- Yes, Ma'am?
Have you ever been with your parents on a boat before?
- Yes, Ma'am.
- And where was that?
Along the Seine.
You see?
Underlying the litteratie is the counting of syllables...
If the accentuation, which is found in the Icelandic poetry...
such Snorrisn SNN... uh
I can't really comment.
Then you simply sit.
Help me or give me some feedback?
Snorri Sturluson
Snorri Sturluson who has laid the basis,
by the noun to replace...
a paraphrase or a metaphor.
- One more thing... music!
- Ah no, Darling...
I do not think Mrs. Moucheboume wants to talk about music...
especially after everything you've said about
Scandinavian poetry from the 13th century.
I think she is a happy, cultivated person to meet...
who enjoys interesting conversation...
while their men talk business.
- Come on.
- The Baroque-style.
This arises from the Portuguese word Barocco...
Guys! Look!
Francis Leborgne!
Him we must have!
Recess is over? Come on, you brats!
Children. Your teacher is away a few days.
She will be replaced Mrs. Navaranne.
There she is.
Geography: Rivers of France.
Sit down.
Silence!
Well, today's lesson is about rivers.
I know you know all about this subject.
But first we must hang up the map. Who'll do that?
Sit!
I decide who hangs up the map.
You there, in back... Your name?
Clotaire, Ma'am.
You seem more disciplined than the others.
Go and hang up the map.
- But Miss...
- Silence!
I see a stubborn fellow.
And stubborn little guys, I break. Clear?
You there. Tell me about the Seine.
The Seine flows from the Plateau of Langres.
And has a length of 776 km.
It extends into the English Channel.
Very good. And you?
The famous rivers: they are
the Aube, the Loing, the Oise, and the Loing.
Excellent!
And you, Joker? Yes, yes, you.
If I ask you something, you'll have
something to say about the Seine?
I guess not. Into the corner.
That will teach you not to be the class clown.
What's the matter?
He is not used to it, Ma'am.
- Come on, I'll show you.
- Very thoughtful of you.
- There is no yellow-pages for gangster!
- Search Leborgne.
Francis Leborgne! Got it.
- Hello?
- Francis Leborgne?
Just a moment. Francis, for you!
Ask if he can handle the new teacher.
- Yes?
- Francis Leborgne?
- Yes, I am.
- I've got a clean-up job for you.
A clean-up chore? Wouldn't it better to bring it here?
- Why come there?
- I can do it in detail here.
- No, we just want something solved.
- Well, that costs money.
If I come, callout costs at least 500 francs.
We'll call you back.
- What did he say?
- Tell us!
He wants 500 francs.
What a con, a real gangster!
And for the new teacher, how much?
Hey, whose are all those old chocolates?
Do not eat from that, Honey, they've gone off.
"Staff room"
- Yes?
- Here, a present for you!
Oh... that's nice of you. Thank you.
- A housekeeper?
- Yes, I want us to hire a housekeeper.
I won't always have to get up from the table to get food.
And it IS more stylish.
And the menu: "Homard à la mayonnaise".
You know what that would cost?
80 francs per kilo!
We can just do something else with mayonnaise?
And the rest, perhaps, simpler?
A simple meal?
We can also try ham sandwiches in front
of the TV if you just want to eat.
I spent the night wondering...
how my friends and I could come up with 500 francs.
Geoffroy brought something special to school.
How does that work?
Got a coin? You choose a number, e.g. 6...
You put the coin on the grid, I crank the roulette wheel...
And drop the ball...
And you've lost.
Thus we'd get 500 francs as the house cut.
We'd have to play against adults, for their money.
What are you doing? Playing roulette? And for money?
This takes the biscuit!
Do you know where this leads? Prison!
Hand it over. What a great gift from your parents!
And now, everybody into the classroom.
Bad news for you...
Your replacement has suddenly become ill.
"He murders his teacher!"
The accused is found guilty!
And he is a dirty snitch.
Agnan, what is it?
You can't beat me up, I wear glasses.
Julie the teacher just has a cold, and she's staying home today.
You'll stay in the classroom, under
the supervision of a fellow student.
I need someone I can trust.
Well, today we do arithmetic.
Open your workbooks, we'll go with some exercises.
Silence, I'm the boss.
Shrink your head, Tattletale!
Eudes, into the corner.
You gonna eat arithmetic.
- I'm wearing my glasses!
- Not for long!
Geoffroy! We'll get you back the roulette wheel!
OK, but how?
- "Death to the teachers"?! Bravo!
- No, I was going to write "Death to the profiteers"!
Yes that's it, and I'm the Queen of England...
You will explain that to the Director.
Rarely in my career, was I given to suffer such a provocation!
I will not spare you, my young friend.
What punishment do you propose, Mr. Bouillon brouileur... er...?
300 times: "I can not write outrageous things...
"the buildings belonging to the school...
"education and leading me to providing service to the Republic."
As far as "school" seems sufficient.
And don't leave school until you've handed it in!
Understood, little friend?
Do you want a go, Ma'am?
I'll try it, it looks like fun!
- How much can I bet?
- 10 francs!
- And on what number?
- Anything you want.
- Four, for example.
- Come on, then, four.
Ten on number four... in it goes!
I won!
But... is that everything you did in one hour?
Like this.
But where is she?
- Honey, can you tie this?
- I'm tied up myself!
I spent the whole day slaving in the
kitchen and now she's not here.
Where is she?
- Calm down...
- Why calm, tell me that?
The Moucheboumes are almost here, and I have no one to serve!
Ah, there she is.
Here, put that in back in the trash...! Hup hup hup!
- What's this?
- That's "Homard à la mayonnaise".
This is great for guests, but you get delicious ravioli!
- I don't want it, I want lobster.
- Nicolas, stop it!
But where is she now, that klutz!
- Good evening Mr. Moucheboume!
- Good evening, Madam.
My wife isn't here?
I had sent her on ahead, while I parked the car!
She's disappeared.
Oh, Mrs. Moucheboume! What a mistake, sorry!
Come with me... We are all...
Nicolas, go get your dad.
Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Moucheboume.
Ah! Here's the famous Nicolas!
Are you happy with your humming top?
You bet! But Dad does not want me playing with it...
because the bitch makes such a racket.
The next time I'll give you something else.
What would you like?
If you could give me 500 francs, that would be super.
What would you do with 500 francs?
I can only whisper.
I'll get my new brother kidnapped,
so my parents don't throw me away.
Nicolas, listen, if you want to earn money, you must work hard.
You'll have the money then.
If you give it to me now, I'll thank you immediately.
Nicolas, go to the kitchen!
Oh, he's just a child.
- I told them goodbye.
- Very well, here.
And you can start eating.
Do you fancy Scandinavian literature, Mrs. Moucheboume?
Personally, I prefer poetry from the 13th century.
Replacing the personal pronoun, a metaphor...
That is very interesting.
Erm...
I have a particular weakness for...
Snorrie-verses.
Snurkie-Snuf...
Mustache... Storkie Stor-sleeve.
Smeurkiestuf
Did you know that the word "baroque" comes from Portugal?
The city Barocco, known for its oysters.
And by Luly and the chocolate with the same name.
- Are we hungry?
- Yes!
It will be a simple meal.
That's lucky. I hate people...
who try to impress us with things like...
"Homard à la mayonnaise".
One small moment...
Voilà!
"WELCOME TO THE MINISTER"
We can sing in the streets!
Or sell things on the street!
No, we have to find something quickly --- it's a lot of money.
Wait! My dad told me how he became rich!
He found an apple on the street, and sold for 1 franc.
And then?
With the franc, he bought 2 apples, which he sold for 2 francs.
And then?
Then his aunt died, and he got all her money.
And then?
Guys, the girl is back!
There they are!
I want exemplary behavior.
The first one who gives kicks up gets a life sentence.
Is that clear?
OK, good.
Sit, children.
Say, how is your school? Well?
They need to relax, these children.
I have a riddle for you. Listen up.
What is yellow, very small, and it says krok krok.
A chick that eats chips.
- What have you learned this year?
- Rivers.
- I'll try that.
- Well, just stand up, Agnan.
No, the boy in back.
- What's your name, boy?
- Clotaire, Sir.
Well. Say...
Which river flows through Paris?
I think... the river, which flows through Paris.
"Have you ever been with your parents on a boat before?"
The Seine.
Good, Clotaire!
Was it a tough question?
How are the negotiations going?
I would stand firm.
And about what percentage are we talking?
Minimum 10.
Draft a summary for me of the file.
- Hello?
- It's me.
Did Mr. Moucheboume say anything about the food?
I know how to get the money together! Look!
Hey, Guys, are you, like, invincible?
What are you talking about?
Come to the swampy vacant lot --- you know it!
OK, then?
We have the formula of this potion!
Drink it, and you'll get really strong!
It costs 5 francs.
And how do we know it works?
You there. Come here.
And now go push on that bus.
- Next! Pay first.
Paid.
- Do we have enough?
- We might just.
All together, then...
530 francs!
What have you done with my son?
I want to talk to your parents!
Bunch of crooks!
You guys are in for a hiding!
We have money for the cleanup chore.
- Well, where is the car?
- Uh, we'll call you back.
Now he wants us to have a car!
What flavor, sir?
- Pardon?
- Strawberry-Chocolate!
Very well, sir.
The others are waiting at the telephone.
- What?
- I don't know how to drive.
- You have to use the key.
- He took it with him!
Then you have to jump the cables.
I remember that from a movie.
Turning: reasonable. Maneuver in the city: moderate.
Let's see how you park.
Let's head down town.
Come on, follow that car!
Faster, come on, pedal to the metal!
Go down there!
I need a confidant in this company.
You know, I don't plan to live forever.
I must think of a successor.
Look out!
Say, good thing you were there.
By the way, what do you think about internationalization?
You can not deny Europe.
Exactly, I think that now.
- But...
- Shut up.
Parking is also OK.
Thank you.
Your ideas never work out!
Will we get to the phone in time?
I don't know.
- Huh?
- How did we end up here?
- Hi, I would like to talk with Francis Leborgne.
I'll hang on.
- Hey, that's Joaquim!
- Hey, Guys!
But... you're not gone?!
No, I only had the chickenpox.
See, here's my brother. Look how nice he is!
Don't touch him or he'll get sick.
Babies are very sensitive.
Hear that, he said my name!
But you didn't want a brother!
No, but that was before.
Why?
Before I knew it was super being a big brother.
I can teach him all sorts of great things.
Soccer, or cycling.
And I will always be an example.
"At your age, Joachim could already..."
And he will be super impressed.
I can give him orders, and he'll do what I want.
Well, bye, Guys.
Yes? Hello? Hello!
I'm never going to drive a car again in my entire life!
- But you got your license!
- NEVER!
Mommy! Daddy!
Thanks. I'm so happy!
Why, Baby?
- I'm going to have a brother!
- What did you say, Nicolas?
- What brother?
- The baby that Mom gets!
You're not getting a brother --- how did you get that idea?
But... I want a brother!
That would be great, a little brother.
Why can't I have one?
You never get me anything!
That evening, my parents went overboard
continuing with their jokes.
One day, when I came home...
they had big news to tell me.
I do not know how long it takes...
but a baby takes longer than waiting for Christmas.
- Day after tomorrow, then?
- Afraid not.
Life was back to the old ways.
Geoffroy was in trouble for stealing the car.
Now he must walk to school.
I saw Marie-Edwige again.
They invited me to her birthday.
Thursday? I'm busy then, but I'll make time on Friday.
Somehow that didn't sound right...
And we got a new neighbor.
Dad and he have been bickering, too.
And I keep on waiting...
- Tomorrow?
- No.
But soon.
I could not wait to teach my brother things.
And then one morning...
We all went to the hospital.
And then my little brother finally arrived.
- It's a girl!
- WHAT?
Well, give it a kick!
Look!
She's so sweet, a real angel!
She looks exactly like her father.
No, she's the spitting image of her mother.
And Nicolas, are you happy with your sister?
Hard to say.
She is not finished yet, they still
have to install the hair and teeth.
- But she's cute anyway?
- Cute?
She's bright red and wrinkled like roasted peppers.
She sees nothing with her eyes, but she's mastered drooling.
Everyone says she laughs, but she's just blowing bubbles.
I wanted a brother, but Mom had that there instead.
I'm not sure why.
She looks like a shaved cat.
If I had known, I'd have asked for a dog instead.
It's crazy, but at that moment I knew what my essay should be on.
What did I want to do when I grew up?
Make people laugh.
Look at me. Look at me.