Little Heroes (1999) - full transcript
Harry Burton is going to fly to Washington DC to testify against his former employer, which could hardly hurt the whole tobacco industry. For two days, Harry and his wife Shelly have let their kid Charlie alone in the big house, only with their maid Maria and their dogs Samson and Hercules. But two thugs are breaking into the house to threaten Charlie's life and so force Harry to change his testimony.
Help, that man just stole my purse!
That man just stole my purse!
Oh, my purse!
Oh, why thank you!
Give me high fives, boys.
Hey, we have to start packing.
Let's just cancel.
We can't cancel.
It's the senate, honey.
And I'm the star withess.
Believe me, if it was
judge Judy I'd cancel,
but we're talking grand
jury here, I have to go.
I just hope that Charlie's
gonna be okay here with Maria.
He's stayed with Maria dozens of times.
Yeah, but he's worried.
He knows that something's wrong.
It'll be fine.
So what you're telling me is
despite the millions
that we're paying you,
we can't beat this new lawsuit?
The lawsuit has gone too far,
it's before the senate committee now.
We can't bribe or talk
our way out of this one.
The crusade against tobacco is nailing
every one of us to the wall.
And skinning us alive.
We've taken steps to
ensure that the prosecution's
star witness shall not testify.
Then we would have a chance.
But his identity is a secret.
I want this operation
run like clockwork.
All we need is the witness's cooperation.
No violence, no guns, no blood.
We have two men already in position.
That's him.
That's our Mark.
This is gonna be a piece of cake.
There's other witnesses that
work for the tobacco company,
why can't they testify?
I was an executive.
I'm the best witness the prosecution has.
It's the senate, it's now or never.
I would never put you in danger,
or Charlie, you know that.
Honey, they lied to everybody.
They knew cigarettes were addictive
and they hid the evidence.
I saw them shred documents
and conceal them.
I have a chance to fix my mistake.
Nothing's gonna happen.
We have to go.
Charlie.
We're going now.
Charlie, hey.
Sweetie, we're gonna go now.
Okay.
You be good now, listen to Maria.
Yeah, okay.
Hey, buddy, no, I mean
it now, you be good.
And you watch the dogs, okay?
All right, bye.
We love you.
Maria, we're going now!
Sorry guys, it's not walkie time.
They hate it when we go on trips.
Oh, I know, life is rough, isn't it?
Mr. Burton, Mr.
Burton, your briefcase!
Oh, thank you, Maria.
- Thanks Maria.
- You're welcome.
Take care, Maria.
Okay, thanks, have a nice trip, eh?
We'll see you on Monday.
Bye, good luck!
Excuse me.
Give me that.
Come on, get her in the closet.
Come on, quick, quick, quick.
Okay, we're gonna do the
same thing with the kid.
Grab him, tie him up, gag
him, and get him out of here.
I got his feet, come on,
I got his legs, come on.
Honey, what's wrong?
Somebody's following us.
No.
Yes
Harry, who are they?
I don't know.
They can't know who I am, it's impossible.
Don't open the door.
No, don't open it!
Let me do the talking, all right?
Everything's gonna be fine.
Mr. Burton, come with me please.
I will, if you leave my wife alone.
Of course, she can stay in the car.
We don't have much time, Mr. Burton,
so I need you to listen
to me very closely.
Please, Mr. Burton,
watch the video for me.
Charlie!
Charlie!
Mom and dad, what's
going on, what's happening?
Charlie, can you hear me?
Charlie!
Charlie?
Charlie?
What are you doing with my son?
At this point in time
he's perfectly safe.
We're merely transporting
him to a secure location.
He's a fine young man,
and quite intelligent
from what I've been told.
It would be a shame if he had an accident.
As long as you do exactly
as I tell you to do,
he'll be perfectly fine.
Do we have an understanding, Mr. Burton?
Yes sir.
You will not go to the
police, this is very important.
You will take your wife to Washington.
You will appear in front
of the senate committee
and give your testimony.
You will tell them the
tobacco company is clean,
and you've never seen any
evidence of any wrongdoing.
Very simple, that's all you have to do.
I have to lie.
Call it what you will,
but what it boils down to
is survival.
For us, and your son.
And I'm sure you wouldn't
want to do anything
to jeopardize your son, would you?
You better get to the airport.
You wouldn't want to miss that plane.
What did they want?
We have to go to Washington
and I have to lie to the senate.
Or what, what are they gonna do?
They have Charlie.
No.
No!
It's all right.
No, no, we can't call the police.
No, Shelly.
Listen, they have no reason to hurt him
if we do exactly what they say.
It's okay.
All right, now we have to go.
Come on, come on, let's go, let's go.
Watch his head, will ya?
Just watch his head.
I'm watching it!
So much for the perfect plan, huh?
Don't worry about it, just a couple
of harmless house pets.
Nice doggies.
Yeah, stop your barking, you rugrats.
Nice doggies.
Okay.
Nice doggies.
Just go past 'em,
they ain't gonna hurt you.
Come on.
You know I don't like dogs.
Get 'em off me!
Drop the kid.
Drop the kid!
You all right, you all right?
They're gone, they're gone.
Come on, let's get outta here.
Come on, come on, let's go.
Take a look back there,
is there anything missing?
It's just a nibble, shake it off.
Come on, get out of here.
You shake it off.
Ah, shut up, stop your whining.
Watch his head, will ya?
Let me go!
All right kid, be real quiet,
you don't cause any trouble,
everything will be all right.
All right, good, come on, let's go.
Give me the keys.
- Keys, yeah.
- Give me the keys, man!
- Uh-oh.
- What's uh-oh?
Uh-oh, the keys, the keys are gone.
What do you mean the keys are gone?
I had 'em hooked right here,
they must've fallen off inside in there.
Oh.
I ook!
The dogs, they got my keys!
We gotta go back inside and get 'em.
Let's go.
Darn, it's locked!
Well what about the skeleton key, man?
The skeleton key is on the key chain
with the truck key in the dog's mouth.
Well why'd you lock the door
in the first place, slick?
I didn't lock it, it
must've locked by itself
when we came out here.
Oh, man!
We can handle this.
Just listen to me.
We're trained for this.
We do this for a living, right?
I gotta think, gotta think.
Come on, slick,
let's just bust a window, man.
I told you, we
can't damage the house.
You all right?
I don't have a good
feeling about this, Harry.
Come on, come on.
Let me help.
Look, if you just,
look, if you just force it a little bit.
Let go, let go!
Well, we're in.
I'm gonna kill you.
There they are.
Move slow.
I'm gonna stuff the little
one down the big one's throat.
Just get the keys.
See, you wanna talk in
soft, slow, gentle tones,
sorta motherly, then you grab the keys.
Nice doggie, nice doggie, nice doggies!
I got him, slick!
I got you, you little runt!
I got you, you bad little...
You dummy.
I'm sorry, your hair
looks like a dog, slick!
All right, you get the big one,
I'm gonna get the little one.
Why do I get the big one
and you get the little one?
Okay, I'll get the little
one, you get the big one.
Good.
That's it, that's it!
I'll kill 'em-_
Look, the dogs, the little
one, he's got the keys!
Well, well, dead meat, hairball.
Hey, party's over.
Oh!
Oh!
Carny, carny, help me
out of this, will ya?
Come on, it's stuck!
No no...
Oh, ooh!
Come on, carny, can't you
come up with some idea
how to catch these dogs?
I can't think right now,
I'm too hungry to think.
That's it, the pepperoni
pizza, that's it!
Great idea, let's go get a bite.
No no no, not for us,
for the dogs, for the dogs.
We use the pizza to lure the dogs to us,
and then we'll catch 'em, yeah!
You're a genius!
I'm a genius?
You're a genius.
I'm a genius.
My pizza.
You know what, kid?
You got the luckiest dogs in the world.
Now you stay still and I
promise ya, I won't kill her!
Dogs.
What's that?
I'm knitting you a sweater,
what does it look like?
It's a tablecloth.
Oh.
All right, look, the
dogs went back upstairs.
So this is what we're gonna do.
You're gonna go up there
with that piece of bait
and lure the little runt one out, okay?
Yeah.
Now when he comes out and
he smells that pepperoni
and he goes to bite that pizza,
you grab him and choke him, huh?
But if he gets by ya, I'm gonna
nab him with this, you see?
It's just a matter of showing him
who's got a bigger cerebellum,
and we gotta prove who's higher
on the ladder of evolution,
you got it?!
I et's do it.
Eaty, beefy, chewy, kitty flavored!
Ah
Come on.
Huh?
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Mmm.
Huh?
Oh!
Why'd you get in the way, slick?
I had him, man!
What just fell?
Me!
No, not that sound.
That sound, what is that?
Sir, I'm calling form
the airport, we lost 'em,
I don't know where they went.
Did they get on the plane?
No sir, I'm certain they
didn't board the plane.
What do you want us to do?
What if they call the police?
We stay calm, they
won't go to the police,
they're not stupid, we have their son.
If Burton didn't get on the plane
then he won't make the
hearing and he won't testify.
We're still in control of the situation.
Yes sir.
Wow!
That bowling ball totally reminded me
of when I used to work in the carnival.
They used to shoot me out
of a Cannon feet first.
Boom!
No helmet, no net, crowd loved it.
Ah, you ever get a memory come
back to you like that, slick?
Slick?
Slick?
Come on, buddy.
Couple more shots to the head like that
and you'll even out just like me.
Trust me.
There he is!
Hurry up, go!
Slick!
Get outta there.
Get out.
I been calling you.
You've been taking a bath?
No, I been doing a water ballet.
Tell me you brought a gun.
No, they said no guns.
Big one goes in the oven.
Little one in the microwave.
Let's go.
Look, the keys!
He took the keys!
No, I think the little dog exploded.
Go to the sink and clean up.
Can you take us to Malibu?
We have to get home now.
When I was 10 years old, my
dad got me a dog, it bit me.
When I was 25 years old
and I quit high school,
my mom gave me a dog, it bit me.
When I was 30 years old I
met my first girlfriend.
Don't tell me, she was
a dog and she bit you.
Have I told this story before?
Come on, let's go!
Slick, you lost your head, man!
What?
Oh!
Your head went through the wall.
Harder?
No, that's not working, man.
I can't understand a word you're saying.
What?
For a second there I thought
the moose was talking to me.
Slick, are you in there?
Oh.
Slick, how did you get inside of a moose?
Get me outta here!
Come on, come on, come on!
Ow, ow, ow!
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
You're stuck, dude.
Tell me something I don't know.
I don't think I know
anything you don't know.
Go to the truck and see
if you can find something
to get me outta here, will ya?
That's a good idea.
Why'd I even bring him?
Harry, do you think
we did the right thing?
He's gonna be fine, okay?
What if they find out that
we're not on that plane?
What if they hurt Charlie?
Hey, just trust me.
Can you go faster, please?
I'm already speeding, mister.
What, you want me to fly?
What am I, a Mallard?
Listen, I said can't you go faster?
Oh, you want me to go faster.
Woo!
You know what?
The keys!
The keys.
The keys.
Slick is gonna be so happy.
Slick, I need to get slick.
What are you looking at?
I'm not scared of you.
Peeing on me!
Cut him out.
Dig him out!
Oh no, oh no, oh, there's a spider.
Go away, go away!
Ooh, I hate spiders!
Mommy, mommy!
Hey slick.
I got the keys, man.
Speechless, huh?
I was pretty excited to.
Whoa, you know you have a
huge spider on your head?
The size of those fangs!
Did that spider pee on you?
Get this spider off
of me and get me outta here!
Hurry up.
Hold still.
What are you doing?
Get the kid.
Hey!
I'm gonna kill him!
Forget it, for get it, forget it.
Come on, let's just get
outta here, forget the dog.
Yeah.
All right, come on.
Let's go, let's get outta here.
And lock the doors.
Come on.
Hey kid, you
wanna listen to some music?
I wasn't sure what you
wanted, so I brought
Hungarian waltzes and show tunes.
Just put the keys in the ignition,
just drive, will ya?
Show tunes.
Don't even listen to him, kid.
You just stay under the blanket.
Yeah, and keep your mouth shut.
Keep his mouth shut,
how's he gonna open his mouth?
He has tape on his mouth,
what's wrong with you?
Oh, yeah, right.
Yeah, should've
put tape on your mouth
so I didn't listen to you all day.
Just drive, will ya?
Try putting your foot on the right pedal.
Oh I'm driving defensively, man,
'cause it's very safe, and
I don't have a license.
Defense, I'm
gonna give you a defense,
a fist right in your nose.
Oh god.
Charlie? - Charlie?!
Oh, Charlie?
Charlie!
Charlie?!
Charlie?
Oh god! - Charlie!
Charlie?
Charlie?
Maria.
Are you all right?
Mhmm, mhmm.
What happened?
Where's Charlie?
Where's Charlie?
Charlie, I don't know,
there were some men,
they came in, they tied me up,
and then they threw me in there.
Charlie.
Do you hear something?
Sounds funny.
Funny, what do you mean funny?
The truck sounds funny.
Sounds like a truck to me.
I hear something.
What?
What, what?
I told you, I told you.
What'd you do, flood it?
My foot wasn't even on the gas!
Restart it, will ya?
It's not my fault!
Stop your crying
and just restart it.
What did you do?
What's wrong with you?
Put your foot on, what are ya,.
What are you doing?
It keeps cutting out!
Carny, did you put gas in the truck?
I filled it up, slick!
Get out, let me drive.
I can handle it, it's
the truck that's got
the problem, man.
No you got the problem, all right?
Listen go out there and check
under the hood, will ya?
Go ahead, I got the hood release.
Sorry about the bumpy ride, kid.
Hurry up!
Oh great, it looks like an
alien star ship or something.
Come on!
What?
What's wrong?
I don't know, it looks okay to me.
Did you check the carburetor?
Which one?
(Set.
Too many tubes, too many
pipes, too many wires,
what is this?
I can't figure it out.
Slick?
What?
You wanna take a look at this.
No no, quiet, quiet,
I'm trying to concentrate,
'cause I can't figure these engines out,
they're just too complicated,
it's just too much for me,
I don't know what's going on.
What do you want from...
Afternoon, officer.
Having a problem with your vehicle?
- No.
- Yeah
a small one.
Not a big one, nothing
we can't take care of.
Can you fix it?
Yeah, oh yeah, we can fix
it, no problem, we got it.
You sure”?
Oh yeah, yeah, we're okay,
we're fine, you can go, thanks.
What happened to you?
- What do you mean?
- What?
Oh, well look at you, you're a mess.
Oh, hey, we're plumbers, see?
Smart plumbers.
We just had an emergency
job, you should've seen it,
what a mess.
The washing machine blew
up, detergent all over us,
I had to rewire the whole house.
I see.
This vehicle registered, insured?
I don't know.
This one?
Oh yeah, we have the papers for this.
Oh, this one.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh god. - We got everything.
- Yeah.
- Everything's fine.
All right, well, you
sure you guys don't want me
to call a tow truck for ya?
No no no, we're fine, we'll
be outta here in a second.
Appreciate your help, though.
Yeah.
All right, well.
Good luck.
Okay, drive safe, officer.
Hey, hey, hey!
What are you, get off, hey!
Stop it!
Get off, hey knock it off!
Hey, come on, you little fur ball, hey.
Stop it!
Yeah, get outta here.
Hey, come on, shoo!
Hey hey hey, get outta
here, get outta here!
Get out, go on!
Get outta here, get outta here!
You all right?
Yeah, strange dogs.
I know they're strange,
we saw them earlier today,
they were trying to attack us.
Yeah, well I'll call animal control
and have somebody come
out and pick 'em up later.
That's a good idea, do that.
Man, you know though,
seemed like they were
trying to tell me something.
Thanks again for your help, gentlemen.
All right, all right.
- Take care.
- All right.
Come on.
Try it again.
No good.
My luck, my luck.
Let's call a cab.
Oh, yeah yeah yeah,
and what do we tell the cab driver
about the kid that's all
tied and gagged, huh?
You got any better ideas?
Oh no.
Oh, no, the cop's walking
up behind the truck.
He ran the plates, I told
you he was gonna do it,
I knew it, he's looking
right at the license plate.
What's he doing,
does he have his gun out yet?
Okay look, look, just don't act scared,
just look normal, all right?
All right, that's it.
I'm playing this out till the last card.
I'm not gonna be scared.
Just be cool, be cool, be
cool, roll down the window,
roll it down.
Yes, officer?
I found the source of your problem.
Somebody stuck this in your tailpipe
and backed up your exhaust system.
Those darn kids!
Oh, those kids, huh?
Try your engine now.
Thanks officer,
you've been a great help.
Yeah, I'm glad I could help.
You guys have a good day.
Okay, thank you.
You ever see a dog again.
Yeah?
Run it over.
Yeah.
When are we getting paid for this again?
At the end of the job, as usual.
I hope it's soon, I'm broke.
How much is my cut again?
Well, you know, I've
been thinking about that.
I was gonna split the
money down the middle.
But since you've gone through so much
and I've been yelling at you blaming you
even though it was those dogs,
what I'm gonna do this
time is I'm gonna give you
three packs of 5000
and I'm only gonna keep
two packs of 10,000.
Aww, you don't
have to do that, slick,
ah, don't worry about it.
Oh, man, I think the kid peed himself.
It's dog pee.
The dog peed on the kid?
No, the dog peed on me.
I thought the spider peed on you.
What a mess, look at me, look at me.
When we get to the
hideout, I gotta clean up.
Look where you're going,
look where you're driving!
You told me to look at you.
Not you look at me.
Me look at me.
The matter with you?
Nothing, nothing.
Those dogs, they got to me,
they're kinda messing me up,
they're messing me up
physiologically or something.
I'm starting to hallucinate.
Hallucinating, what's that?
Well you know, that's
when you see things
that aren't there.
That's a bad tick, slick.
It's not a tick, it's not a tick,
I keep thinking I'm seeing the dogs,
and every time I look up there,
it's like I see 'em, and they're
not there and I look and...
I ook!
They are there!
The dogs, they're here!
Carny, the dogs are in the back!
You're losing it.
Carny, look, look in the back!
Stop the truck stop the truck!
Stop the truck!
I'm gonna get 'em this time!
Forget about it, forget about it.
You get in the back of the truck,
they try to jump in,
throw something at 'em.
I'm gonna drive, come on.
We're close to the ranch,
we can get him there
before they catch us.
I hope a mountain lion eats ya!
Okay, open the door.
Come on.
Let me go!
- You got him?
- Yeah.
All right, come on, put him over there.
I love sleeping in barns.
We're not sleeping in the barn,
we're staying in the cabin.
He's staying in the
barn, now put him down.
Really?
All right, sit him up, sit him up.
We gotta tighten these ropes.
Look, look at this mess here.
Why do you keep giving me orders, man?
Oh okay, you wanna give orders?
All right, tell me, what
do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do?
Um.
Um, that's what I thought.
Fix the knots.
And here, help me with the blanket.
Okay, good.
All right, let's get outta here.
All right.
Wow, look at this place,
it's real expensive.
Yeah, the people we're working for,
they got some serious bucks,
must be some big corporation.
Oh, it must be, you
don't know who they are?
No no, we're five times removed from me,
I'm not allowed to know.
I have some concerns
about the men we've hired
to do this job.
We don't seem to know anything about them.
Don't worry, sir, I can assure
you they're professionals.
Do you know who they are?
Well, not directly.
Well then who does, who hired them?
Francois.
Who?
Francois, he's one of
our people in Quebec.
Canada?
He's worked with them
before, he knows them?
Well, actually, he didn't say.
Does anybody know
anything about these guys?
Look, francois, this
is extremely important.
I need you to tell me everything you can
about those two guys you
hired to do the job for us.
- I don't know them.
- What?
You asked me to find
somebody completely anonymous,
and I did it.
Well who hired them, then?
- Evan.
- Who?
Fvan.
Well what did he tell you about them?
Nothing.
I'm kinda hungry.
Where's that phone, I'm starving.
Oh, here it is.
You order that pizza,
make sure you don't get
any anchovies, and no
peppers, and no pepperoni
and no sausage, no black
olives, no mushrooms,
and definitely no pineapple,
no fruit on my pizza.
Why don't you just eat cardboard, slick?
Why don't you just order the pie, okay?
Aww, do we have to
spring for the kid too?
You should've checked
his pockets for loose cash.
I et me see what I have here.
You know what, I got enough
loose change in my pocket.
Just get him a small
pie with nothing on it,
I'm gonna go clean up.
Four-one-one.
Here you go, slick.
What's this?
What is all this stuff on my pizza?
The dog!
Look at it, carny!
He's got my wallet!
Get him!
He gets outta here, the cops
find the wallet, we're fried!
I think I'm in a nightmare!
Wait, wait, wait.
You take the back
staircase, I'll go this way.
And watch out for that big dog,
he's around here somewhere,
he'll sneak up on us.
Come here you, give me my wallet!
Trapped.
Come here, you!
Get over here!
Where you going?
Come here, you porcupine
face, get it, get it!
Oh!
I can't believe he just did that.
He must be part squirrel or something.
All right, carny.
Reach out there and
get my wallet, will ya?
Oh no, I'm scared of heights.
Oh come on, it's not that far.
All right, hold me and I'll
reach out there and get it.
Well what if, you know...
What if I fall and die?
I'll kill ya, that's what.
I don't like this, slick.
Just come on, let's go.
I got a bad feeling.
Whoa!
Easy, easy, easy.
All right.
I don't know, slick.
I can't reach it, you gotta
get me out further, come on.
Okay.
Okay.
Now I can get him.
Come to daddy.
Slick?
I'm sorry.
You wanna just rest there for a while?
Uh huh.
Are you breathing?
Ah!
Good boy, Samson.
Good boy.
911 emergency.
Hello, 9117?
My name is Charlie.
Some guys kidnapped me.
No, I don't know where it
is, but it's in a barn.
They'll come back any second.
You've gotta help me, please help me.
Calm down, Charlie, calm down.
Just try to stay calm, okay?
Just stay on the line and
we can trace your location.
Give me my wallet!
Come here!
Get him, carny, get him, come on!
Get him, carny!
Come on, get him, get him, get him.
I got him.
I got him.
Give me that wallet, fuzzball.
You're dead, you know that? You're dead!
How should I do it, huh?
One down, huh slick? One down.
Wait wait wait, something's wrong here.
He's not trying to bite us!
No.
Yeah, you know what that means?
- What?
- He's a decoy.
No, he's a Norfolk terrier mix.
No no no, he's a decoy,
he's trying to distract us
from something that the big
dog's probably doing right now!
What?
The kid!
Try to stay calm, okay?
We're gonna trace your call.
I'm
I'm scared.
Charlie, Charlie, are you okay?
Charlie?
Hey, what's going on here?
What are you doing?!
Hey!
Give me that phone!
What are you crazy?
This was a dumb thing to do, kid.
It's time for a lesson in respect.
Say bye bye to your little friend.
Ow!
Good boy, Hercules.
Slick, the kid's gone!
Wait for me!
Hurry up, get him, carny!
Samson!
Come here!
On the ground, on the ground!
On the ground, huh?!
Hey!
Carny, carny.
Shh, shh, shh.
Quiet, you having those
nightmares about the dogs again?
Okay, shh.
This time they were the guards.
Doggies in uniform.
Oh man, what am I gonna do?
They're after me every night.
I can't sleep, slick.
I can't sleep!
Hey, shut up, carny!
Carny, this is the last time, you hear?
Yeah, ya freak.
This is unbelievable!
One night of sleep,
that's all I ask for carny,
is just one night.
I usually count sheep to go to sleep,
problem is they always turn into dogs.
Yeah, you oughta stop with
those stupid doggie nightmares,
you know, you think those dogs are up,
wait till these animals get ahold of you.
I don't think you're gonna
have to wait very long, slick,
look. - Oh no.
You remember when you said
you were gonna watch my back?
Yeah.
I think you're gonna
have to watch my front too.
Okay, okay, okay, just
keep your crazy mouth shut
and I'll handle it.
Hey, guys, how are ya?
How's it going?
Hey slick.
Why don't you bring your little dog leash
when you take carny for a
little walk in the park, okay?
Okay, okay.
Hey carny, say goodbye
to life as you know it.
Yeah, we had our last night
of no sleep because of you.
Okay, okay guys, listen,
I completely understand,
I'm not getting any sleep either, so...
Hey, step aside, Napoleon,
we just want dog boy.
Run, carny, run!
He's the one with the problems, I'm not!
I'm not nuts, he's nuts!
I'm not nuts!
I didn't know you could
get the electric chair
for having nightmares!
I want a phone call!
Who you gonna call, carny?
I'm the only person you know.
Electric shock therapy
is only precautionary.
Please remain calm and there'll be
no reason for us to use it.
What's with the mini king Kong, doc?
Kato is here as my
assistant in your therapy.
Are you feeling fear of the beast, carny?
No no no, he's carny, I'm slick.
It's obvious that you're suffering from
acute hostility syndrome.
He thinks you're cute?
Carny, carny!
You see, slick, carny,
the solution to your fear of animals...
Dogs.
Wonderful, wonderful, excellent.
Let us be a little bit more specific.
The solution to your fear
of dogs is quite simple.
Simple?
I can handle that.
What we have here is a need for closure.
Closure?
Yes, closure.
Close your what?
Close your mouth, will ya?
Gentlemen, please, listen to me.
Both of you need to confront
the dogs on equal terms.
This will allow you to have
the closure that you need.
Confrontation equals closure.
How are we gonna confront the
dogs if we're stuck in here?
Maybe we could get a weekend pass.
Hey, there's a good idea, huh?
Can we go now?
Obviously that's going to be impossible.
However, we may obtain
closure through hypnosis.
Hypnosis?
Watch the ball, watch the ball.
What sort of weak-brained no-mind
would possibly fall for this?
Can you believe this, carny?
There's just no way.
Carny?
Carny?
Yo carny?
All right, well, scratch one
weak-brained no-mind, doc.
But as far as I go, there is no way
I could possibly fall for the...
Now carny, the dogs
in your hallucinations,
your nightmares, have
you ever met them before?
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
We were gonna kidnap this kid.
We weren't gonna hurt him,
but then everything got screwed up...
Hey, wait right there.
These two dogs.
Slick said it would be easy.
We could play tie up the kid,
and get paid lots of money.
Mom?
I can't hear you, I can't hear you.
Hold on a second.
Hey.
Could you keep it down, please?
And the TV.
Go by the pool.
Charlie and Harry and
aunt Karen are there.
Go on, good boys.
Sorry mom.
As I was saying, Harry's gone
to Washington, to testify.
Captain Hercules, hard to port!
Affirmative!
Mission accomplished, captain!
Charlie, if you don't get
out of that pool right now,
you're gonna turn into a prune.
Just five more minutes, dad.
Don't you think you
should be getting ready
for your trip tomorrow with aunt Karen?
That's a negative!
I packed already!
You did?
You're kidding.
No really, I did.
Oh, I'm impressed.
Oh, not now, Samson.
We're gonna have a great
time on our trip, Charlie.
Awesome!
Come on, Samson.
You know Harry, I may be biased,
but I think I have the most wonderfully
energetic nephew in the world.
Oh, thanks sis, yeah,
I'm thinking of sending him
to naval academy very far, far away.
Very funny.
What are you doing, what are you doing?
You trying to wash the whole world?
You're using too much
detergent there, be careful!
This stuff stinks, slick!
It's not the clothes, it's you!
Did you separate those clothes
that gotta go in the dry cleaning chute?
Yeah.
Yeah, you better have.
What, what's the matter?
What'd you stick your
hand in there for, slick?!
I didn't put my hand in there,
you closed the door on my hand.
Open it!
I'm sorry, it was a mistake.
Ow!
Will you be careful?
I think that shock therapy just ruined
whatever brain cells you had left.
What?
Nevermind, just start
the machine, will ya?
Oh look, slick, the guys
came to help fold the laundry.
Hi guys.
Aww, isn't that nice?
I bet their mommies will be real proud.
Yo, don't talk about my mama.
Sorry.
Shut your pipes, eagle beak.
Hey, how'd you like the shock treatment?
Did you get to see the monkey?
Fellas, I don't think that this is going
in a very positive direction.
Oh guard! - Guard, oh guard!
A little help!
- Look, look!
- What?
- Don't see no guards.
- No.
- Do you see any guards?
- No.
Yeah!
What are you gonna do now, huh dog boy?
Yeah, dog boy!
That's a very good question.
Slick, what are we gonna do now?
What are we gonna do?
The usual.
Run!
Put me down!
Carny!
Carny! - Yeah?
- Slick!
- Carny.
The laundry chute, let's go!
Quick!
Come on, come on.
Slick, that looks awful far.
Slick.
Slick, the prison's moving.
Slick!
I think we're having an earthquake!
(Murmuri rn - shh! 9
we're not having an earthquake.
We're in the back of a truck!
No wonder I feel like heaving.
How'd we get in the back of a truck?
Because we're out, carny!
- Out of what?
- Out of prison!
When we jumped down that chute we must've
landed in this bin and got shipped
on the truck by accident!
We better get back, we
don't finish all that laundry
we're gonna get in serious trouble!
Carny, forget about the laundry.
We escaped, you get it?
No more shock therapy, no more monkey,
no more smelly inmates, we escaped!
Hurry up!
Aunt Karen, Samson, Hercules!
Let's go!
We're shipping out!
Hey, dad ever show you the
zoo that they have at the Navy?
What zoo?
Where they keep the
tomcats and the prowlers
and the hornets.
Those are planes.
Oh really?
- Yeah.
- Hmm
aunt Karen.
I. Ook at those two.
They're always filling
my car up with toys.
Unbelievable, huh?
Last time they tried to stuff
their whole doghouse in the car.
Hey, watch your head, kid.
Okay, okay.
Let's get out of these
prison rags, hurry up.
I'm not gonna run around naked.
Oh no no, we'll put on other clothes!
Where are we gonna get other clothes?
Take a look around, what do you see?
- Clothes.
- Yeah.
- Duh!
- Duh.
- Slick, sometimes.
- Sometimes.
Okay, let's grab something off the rack.
Quick.
Good, because this is really slimy.
Oh, you know what?
Don't worry about it.
We don't have time.
Just put something on over that,
because when this truck
stops, we're outta here.
- Okay.
- Here, put this on.
You guys about ready to go?
Almost.
Oh, I see Samson and
Hercules over-packed as usual.
Those dogs and their toys.
Now, you be nice to
aunt Karen, all right?
And don't take advantage of her.
- But...
- No buts.
And don't let her give you any money.
And you, buster, you have
to be on your best behavior.
All right?
No sweat, dad.
All right.
Okay, everybody in?
All right.
Watch your feet.
Car.
Okay.
Let's go, let's go.
Down here, down here.
It's a sewer.
Shut up, come on, come on.
We did it, we did it!
I can't believe we're out.
Fresh air! - Yeah.
At least we got freedom.
Wow, look at those ships!
I'm so glad you work for
the Navy, aunt Karen.
Yeah, I'm glad too.
I've got a little surprise
cooked up for you, young man.
Cool!
Check that ship out,
Charlie, isn't it great?
Yeah, it's awesome!
Wow, thanks for taking me, aunt Karen.
Now, I'm gonna take
you on your own personal tour.
Can I see the
radar and the O2 deck?
Okay, you must be Charlie!
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Hi Charlie.
Hey Karen, how are you?
Hey Don, good.
This is ensign lamping.
Charlie, nice to meet you.
- Hi.
- Karen, how you doing?
Welcome aboard the USS sides.
Now Charlie, the sides is
an Oliver hazard Perry class
guided missile frigate.
Now she's capable of speeds up to 30 knots
and can carry two helicopters.
Wow, that's cool!
You like helicopters?
Yeah, I love 'em!
Our primary mission
is to track submarines,
but we're also capable
of surface-to-air combat.
This is our O2 level.
This is where we keep
the radar and weaponry.
All right, let's go take a
look at some helicopters.
Okay.
I think you'll like this, Charlie.
I reserved this one for you to fly.
Do you have your pilot's license?
Soon, right?
This is our armored cockpit.
Cool!
And this over here is
our forward-mounted Cannon.
Wanna sit in the cockpit?
Sure!
Be careful, Charlie.
Okay, ready?
Here we go.
Hey.
Hey.
Oh, come on.
Whoa!
Somebody please!
Help!
Somebody!
Hey!
My back!
Man overboard.
Here you go.
Hey, thanks for the jacket, boy.
- Got it?
- All righty.
Bill, I'm gonna call down to sick bay
and get a corpsman for you.
No, no, I'm fine thanks to
you guys and these two dogs.
You know, this
place is beautiful, carny.
Hey slick, wait.
This looks familiar.
You're right, you're right.
What dumb luck.
We jump out of a truck, we end up about
five miles from pat's on
the other side of the creek.
Which way?
- That way.
- That way?
- Yeah, that way.
- I'm going this way.
Wait, wait.
Hey!
Oh, sorry, you didn't need that anyway.
Hey listen, we gotta get across the border
into Mexico, right?
Pat's the only person that
could possibly help us
with some money and some wheels.
So let's go.
But you already owe pat a ton of money!
Fh
I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed,
but I think asking pat for
more favors is a bad idea.
You got any good ideas?
- Uh...
- You got any ideas at all?
- No.
- I didn't think so.
Let's go, we're going to pat's.
And don't worry about it, pat loves me.
Pat hates your guts!
Oh, don't worry about it.
Pat is one of the most giving,
loving, gentlest people
I ever met in my life.
- Bad idea.
- No, it's a good idea.
Why are the dogs out of the car?
He's the early warning dog.
Let's see what's wrong, come on Charlie.
And this guy is such a swimmer.
Oh, Hercules!
These are your dogs?
Yes!
That rescued
a man from drowning.
Let's see if we can get a statement...
What are you
two doing out of the car?
From these amazing little dogs.
Maybe we should come back
when pat's in a better mood.
That is a better mood.
Hunk of junk!
She went inside.
I'll go look for some keys or something,
maybe we can take that piece of junk
before she comes back out, look around.
This is Stan
maisley, channel 32 news,
and I'm back live with two amazing dogs,
Samson and Hercules.
If you're just tuning in,
these two little heroes
have just won the heart of America.
Slick.
Slick!
Come here.
Yes, we're
live at the naval base
where we have just withessed
an incredible act of courage
by Charlie Burton...
You're watching TV?
Are you seeing what I'm
seeing or am I hallucinating?
Risk their own lives
to save an elderly gentleman
from drowning in the ocean.
Although he seems perfectly fine after...
The dogs!
Good, I thought I was losing it.
First thing I see
when I get out of prison
is the thing that put me in prison.
We've also
learned that universal studios
will bring the dog by
limousine to the theme park
for an awards ceremony, and
give it a special civic medal
for animal bravery.
Wow, they saved that
old guy from drowning.
I hate those dogs.
They're always saving somebody.
They're gonna get a free
universal studios tour.
I wanna go!
We ain't got time to go on no tour.
We gotta get to Mexico.
Now look around for some keys or something
to hot wire that car,
and will you hurry up
before she comes out?
Slick, slick!
Wait, this is fate!
What are you talking about?
Now we can do what the shrink said!
We can go to the universal studios tour,
confront the dogs and get closure!
Are you crazy?
Yeah, but listen, we fall down a chute,
we fall into a bin, it goes onto a truck,
we end up five miles away from pat's,
we come here, and boom, the
dogs we have to confront
are right there on the
TV, it's meant to be!
No, no, the only
thing that's meant to be
is for us to be sitting
on a beach in Tijuana
and to never see those mutts again.
Please slick, I have to do this!
No, n-o, that's it.
- You promised.
- I promised what?
You promised mom on her deathbed
that you'd watch after me,
even though I wasn't your real brother!
Okay, okay, okay carny,
you really think this
closure thing's gonna work?
Definitely, I think.
Okay.
I owe you, you know why?
Because if you hadn't put all
the detergent in the machines
at the laundry room prison,
we woulda never got out alive.
See?
I'm not as dumb as we think I am.
Fine.
We're gonna go to the universal tour,
we're gonna confront the dogs,
we're gonna get your closure your way,
and I'm gonna get my closure my way.
Deal?
Deal, and then we go to Tijuana.
You got it.
Look for something to hot wire
one of these pieces of junk.
You kidnapped a kid?!
You kidnapped a kid?!
We weren't gonna hurt him!
If that were my kid, I
would break both of your legs!
Okay, okay you're right,
if I had it to do over again,
I wouldn't do it over again.
Look, I just want to get my money
'cause I owe you money.
Asking for more money and a set of wheels?
I'm not crazy, Franklin!
Don't call me Franklin!
I will call you whatever I
want, you got it Franklin?!
Okay, okay, okay, but listen,
how was I supposed to pay you
back if I was stuck in prison?
Always an excuse with you.
Okay, okay, listen pat, we
gotta get out of the country,
we gotta get to Mexico!
Yeah, but first we gotta go
to universal to get closure.
You wanna go?
You gotta go where and get what?
Don't listen to him, he's crazy.
Oh, and I should listen to everything
that you say, Franklin?
Whatever happened to us getting married
and starting a legit
business together, huh?
Exactly, that's exactly
what I was thinking
when I thought about carny and I
going down to enchinada, Mexico.
Wait a minute, I thought you
said we're going to Tijuana.
Wait, yeah, we gotta stop at Tijuana
on the way down to enchinada.
And you never said anything...
Carny, you mind while pat and I
have a private conversation?
Thank you, goodbye.
Oh, you guys wanna talk
about lovey dovey stuff.
Okay.
This is kinda cool, can
we take this instead?
Don't touch that!
You know what, pat?
There was this guy in a cell next to us
that reminded me a lot of you.
Except he didn't shave.
Carny!
You, stay there, shut up.
What I do, what I do?
What I do!
I didn't do it!
Is this one of those new
cures for a headache?
Now, talk, this better be good.
Okay, okay.
Remember your dream about
opening a taco stand in Mexico?
- In entinada”?
- Yeah
I think my headache's gone now!
Keep going.
Okay, well this is our
chance, see, I'll go down
and I'll get everything set up,
we got a place to live, a taco stand.
Fresh fish tacos?
- Yeah.
- On the beach?
Oh yeah, the waves rolling
in, beautiful sunsets
and your own mariachi band.
I love mariachi music, it's so romantic!
Aww, yeah.
Pat's fresh fish tacos.
You promise me?
Oh yeah, of course, I'll call ya
as soon as I get everything set up.
Oh boy, oh boy!
I'll start selling all
this junk right away,
and oh, and get my baby in tip-top shape
and meet you down there!
Attagirl.
Why do you smell like soap detergent?
Oh, we take a lot of baths in prison.
Oh.
Okay.
Here you go, this should
be enough to set you up,
and take that clunker over there,
that should get you down there no problem.
You're the best, pat!
I think my headache's coming back!
One thing, can you get
carny's head out of the vice?
Do I have to?
Just kidding!
But by the time I get down there,
carny better have his own place.
Yeah, of course.
I think you squeezed my eyes together.
Thanks!
If you don't call me,
I'll come down to encinada
and tear that place apart
till I find ya, you hear me?
- But we're not...
- Carny.
We're set.
The Van, over there, go.
Thanks, pat.
Shame we can't take this instead.
Don't!
Sorry!
Run, carny!
Get in the Van!
Charlie!
Samson!
Hercules!
Come on, hurry up!
Your dad's gonna be on TV!
I've just
received a news bulletin.
This is live breaking news.
The jury has just reached a verdict
on the truth in advertising lawsuit
against the tobacco company.
The da's lead prosecutor
handled the criminal trial.
Senate star witness Harry Burton
deserves credit for standing
up to the tobacco company
and doing the right thing.
Harry Burton is an American hero.
His testimony... - Give me five!
Helped find the defendants
guilty of criminal misconduct.
They face possible prison terms.
Give me five!
Next up, the weather.
That man just stole my purse!
Oh, my purse!
Oh, why thank you!
Give me high fives, boys.
Hey, we have to start packing.
Let's just cancel.
We can't cancel.
It's the senate, honey.
And I'm the star withess.
Believe me, if it was
judge Judy I'd cancel,
but we're talking grand
jury here, I have to go.
I just hope that Charlie's
gonna be okay here with Maria.
He's stayed with Maria dozens of times.
Yeah, but he's worried.
He knows that something's wrong.
It'll be fine.
So what you're telling me is
despite the millions
that we're paying you,
we can't beat this new lawsuit?
The lawsuit has gone too far,
it's before the senate committee now.
We can't bribe or talk
our way out of this one.
The crusade against tobacco is nailing
every one of us to the wall.
And skinning us alive.
We've taken steps to
ensure that the prosecution's
star witness shall not testify.
Then we would have a chance.
But his identity is a secret.
I want this operation
run like clockwork.
All we need is the witness's cooperation.
No violence, no guns, no blood.
We have two men already in position.
That's him.
That's our Mark.
This is gonna be a piece of cake.
There's other witnesses that
work for the tobacco company,
why can't they testify?
I was an executive.
I'm the best witness the prosecution has.
It's the senate, it's now or never.
I would never put you in danger,
or Charlie, you know that.
Honey, they lied to everybody.
They knew cigarettes were addictive
and they hid the evidence.
I saw them shred documents
and conceal them.
I have a chance to fix my mistake.
Nothing's gonna happen.
We have to go.
Charlie.
We're going now.
Charlie, hey.
Sweetie, we're gonna go now.
Okay.
You be good now, listen to Maria.
Yeah, okay.
Hey, buddy, no, I mean
it now, you be good.
And you watch the dogs, okay?
All right, bye.
We love you.
Maria, we're going now!
Sorry guys, it's not walkie time.
They hate it when we go on trips.
Oh, I know, life is rough, isn't it?
Mr. Burton, Mr.
Burton, your briefcase!
Oh, thank you, Maria.
- Thanks Maria.
- You're welcome.
Take care, Maria.
Okay, thanks, have a nice trip, eh?
We'll see you on Monday.
Bye, good luck!
Excuse me.
Give me that.
Come on, get her in the closet.
Come on, quick, quick, quick.
Okay, we're gonna do the
same thing with the kid.
Grab him, tie him up, gag
him, and get him out of here.
I got his feet, come on,
I got his legs, come on.
Honey, what's wrong?
Somebody's following us.
No.
Yes
Harry, who are they?
I don't know.
They can't know who I am, it's impossible.
Don't open the door.
No, don't open it!
Let me do the talking, all right?
Everything's gonna be fine.
Mr. Burton, come with me please.
I will, if you leave my wife alone.
Of course, she can stay in the car.
We don't have much time, Mr. Burton,
so I need you to listen
to me very closely.
Please, Mr. Burton,
watch the video for me.
Charlie!
Charlie!
Mom and dad, what's
going on, what's happening?
Charlie, can you hear me?
Charlie!
Charlie?
Charlie?
What are you doing with my son?
At this point in time
he's perfectly safe.
We're merely transporting
him to a secure location.
He's a fine young man,
and quite intelligent
from what I've been told.
It would be a shame if he had an accident.
As long as you do exactly
as I tell you to do,
he'll be perfectly fine.
Do we have an understanding, Mr. Burton?
Yes sir.
You will not go to the
police, this is very important.
You will take your wife to Washington.
You will appear in front
of the senate committee
and give your testimony.
You will tell them the
tobacco company is clean,
and you've never seen any
evidence of any wrongdoing.
Very simple, that's all you have to do.
I have to lie.
Call it what you will,
but what it boils down to
is survival.
For us, and your son.
And I'm sure you wouldn't
want to do anything
to jeopardize your son, would you?
You better get to the airport.
You wouldn't want to miss that plane.
What did they want?
We have to go to Washington
and I have to lie to the senate.
Or what, what are they gonna do?
They have Charlie.
No.
No!
It's all right.
No, no, we can't call the police.
No, Shelly.
Listen, they have no reason to hurt him
if we do exactly what they say.
It's okay.
All right, now we have to go.
Come on, come on, let's go, let's go.
Watch his head, will ya?
Just watch his head.
I'm watching it!
So much for the perfect plan, huh?
Don't worry about it, just a couple
of harmless house pets.
Nice doggies.
Yeah, stop your barking, you rugrats.
Nice doggies.
Okay.
Nice doggies.
Just go past 'em,
they ain't gonna hurt you.
Come on.
You know I don't like dogs.
Get 'em off me!
Drop the kid.
Drop the kid!
You all right, you all right?
They're gone, they're gone.
Come on, let's get outta here.
Come on, come on, let's go.
Take a look back there,
is there anything missing?
It's just a nibble, shake it off.
Come on, get out of here.
You shake it off.
Ah, shut up, stop your whining.
Watch his head, will ya?
Let me go!
All right kid, be real quiet,
you don't cause any trouble,
everything will be all right.
All right, good, come on, let's go.
Give me the keys.
- Keys, yeah.
- Give me the keys, man!
- Uh-oh.
- What's uh-oh?
Uh-oh, the keys, the keys are gone.
What do you mean the keys are gone?
I had 'em hooked right here,
they must've fallen off inside in there.
Oh.
I ook!
The dogs, they got my keys!
We gotta go back inside and get 'em.
Let's go.
Darn, it's locked!
Well what about the skeleton key, man?
The skeleton key is on the key chain
with the truck key in the dog's mouth.
Well why'd you lock the door
in the first place, slick?
I didn't lock it, it
must've locked by itself
when we came out here.
Oh, man!
We can handle this.
Just listen to me.
We're trained for this.
We do this for a living, right?
I gotta think, gotta think.
Come on, slick,
let's just bust a window, man.
I told you, we
can't damage the house.
You all right?
I don't have a good
feeling about this, Harry.
Come on, come on.
Let me help.
Look, if you just,
look, if you just force it a little bit.
Let go, let go!
Well, we're in.
I'm gonna kill you.
There they are.
Move slow.
I'm gonna stuff the little
one down the big one's throat.
Just get the keys.
See, you wanna talk in
soft, slow, gentle tones,
sorta motherly, then you grab the keys.
Nice doggie, nice doggie, nice doggies!
I got him, slick!
I got you, you little runt!
I got you, you bad little...
You dummy.
I'm sorry, your hair
looks like a dog, slick!
All right, you get the big one,
I'm gonna get the little one.
Why do I get the big one
and you get the little one?
Okay, I'll get the little
one, you get the big one.
Good.
That's it, that's it!
I'll kill 'em-_
Look, the dogs, the little
one, he's got the keys!
Well, well, dead meat, hairball.
Hey, party's over.
Oh!
Oh!
Carny, carny, help me
out of this, will ya?
Come on, it's stuck!
No no...
Oh, ooh!
Come on, carny, can't you
come up with some idea
how to catch these dogs?
I can't think right now,
I'm too hungry to think.
That's it, the pepperoni
pizza, that's it!
Great idea, let's go get a bite.
No no no, not for us,
for the dogs, for the dogs.
We use the pizza to lure the dogs to us,
and then we'll catch 'em, yeah!
You're a genius!
I'm a genius?
You're a genius.
I'm a genius.
My pizza.
You know what, kid?
You got the luckiest dogs in the world.
Now you stay still and I
promise ya, I won't kill her!
Dogs.
What's that?
I'm knitting you a sweater,
what does it look like?
It's a tablecloth.
Oh.
All right, look, the
dogs went back upstairs.
So this is what we're gonna do.
You're gonna go up there
with that piece of bait
and lure the little runt one out, okay?
Yeah.
Now when he comes out and
he smells that pepperoni
and he goes to bite that pizza,
you grab him and choke him, huh?
But if he gets by ya, I'm gonna
nab him with this, you see?
It's just a matter of showing him
who's got a bigger cerebellum,
and we gotta prove who's higher
on the ladder of evolution,
you got it?!
I et's do it.
Eaty, beefy, chewy, kitty flavored!
Ah
Come on.
Huh?
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Mmm.
Huh?
Oh!
Why'd you get in the way, slick?
I had him, man!
What just fell?
Me!
No, not that sound.
That sound, what is that?
Sir, I'm calling form
the airport, we lost 'em,
I don't know where they went.
Did they get on the plane?
No sir, I'm certain they
didn't board the plane.
What do you want us to do?
What if they call the police?
We stay calm, they
won't go to the police,
they're not stupid, we have their son.
If Burton didn't get on the plane
then he won't make the
hearing and he won't testify.
We're still in control of the situation.
Yes sir.
Wow!
That bowling ball totally reminded me
of when I used to work in the carnival.
They used to shoot me out
of a Cannon feet first.
Boom!
No helmet, no net, crowd loved it.
Ah, you ever get a memory come
back to you like that, slick?
Slick?
Slick?
Come on, buddy.
Couple more shots to the head like that
and you'll even out just like me.
Trust me.
There he is!
Hurry up, go!
Slick!
Get outta there.
Get out.
I been calling you.
You've been taking a bath?
No, I been doing a water ballet.
Tell me you brought a gun.
No, they said no guns.
Big one goes in the oven.
Little one in the microwave.
Let's go.
Look, the keys!
He took the keys!
No, I think the little dog exploded.
Go to the sink and clean up.
Can you take us to Malibu?
We have to get home now.
When I was 10 years old, my
dad got me a dog, it bit me.
When I was 25 years old
and I quit high school,
my mom gave me a dog, it bit me.
When I was 30 years old I
met my first girlfriend.
Don't tell me, she was
a dog and she bit you.
Have I told this story before?
Come on, let's go!
Slick, you lost your head, man!
What?
Oh!
Your head went through the wall.
Harder?
No, that's not working, man.
I can't understand a word you're saying.
What?
For a second there I thought
the moose was talking to me.
Slick, are you in there?
Oh.
Slick, how did you get inside of a moose?
Get me outta here!
Come on, come on, come on!
Ow, ow, ow!
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
You're stuck, dude.
Tell me something I don't know.
I don't think I know
anything you don't know.
Go to the truck and see
if you can find something
to get me outta here, will ya?
That's a good idea.
Why'd I even bring him?
Harry, do you think
we did the right thing?
He's gonna be fine, okay?
What if they find out that
we're not on that plane?
What if they hurt Charlie?
Hey, just trust me.
Can you go faster, please?
I'm already speeding, mister.
What, you want me to fly?
What am I, a Mallard?
Listen, I said can't you go faster?
Oh, you want me to go faster.
Woo!
You know what?
The keys!
The keys.
The keys.
Slick is gonna be so happy.
Slick, I need to get slick.
What are you looking at?
I'm not scared of you.
Peeing on me!
Cut him out.
Dig him out!
Oh no, oh no, oh, there's a spider.
Go away, go away!
Ooh, I hate spiders!
Mommy, mommy!
Hey slick.
I got the keys, man.
Speechless, huh?
I was pretty excited to.
Whoa, you know you have a
huge spider on your head?
The size of those fangs!
Did that spider pee on you?
Get this spider off
of me and get me outta here!
Hurry up.
Hold still.
What are you doing?
Get the kid.
Hey!
I'm gonna kill him!
Forget it, for get it, forget it.
Come on, let's just get
outta here, forget the dog.
Yeah.
All right, come on.
Let's go, let's get outta here.
And lock the doors.
Come on.
Hey kid, you
wanna listen to some music?
I wasn't sure what you
wanted, so I brought
Hungarian waltzes and show tunes.
Just put the keys in the ignition,
just drive, will ya?
Show tunes.
Don't even listen to him, kid.
You just stay under the blanket.
Yeah, and keep your mouth shut.
Keep his mouth shut,
how's he gonna open his mouth?
He has tape on his mouth,
what's wrong with you?
Oh, yeah, right.
Yeah, should've
put tape on your mouth
so I didn't listen to you all day.
Just drive, will ya?
Try putting your foot on the right pedal.
Oh I'm driving defensively, man,
'cause it's very safe, and
I don't have a license.
Defense, I'm
gonna give you a defense,
a fist right in your nose.
Oh god.
Charlie? - Charlie?!
Oh, Charlie?
Charlie!
Charlie?!
Charlie?
Oh god! - Charlie!
Charlie?
Charlie?
Maria.
Are you all right?
Mhmm, mhmm.
What happened?
Where's Charlie?
Where's Charlie?
Charlie, I don't know,
there were some men,
they came in, they tied me up,
and then they threw me in there.
Charlie.
Do you hear something?
Sounds funny.
Funny, what do you mean funny?
The truck sounds funny.
Sounds like a truck to me.
I hear something.
What?
What, what?
I told you, I told you.
What'd you do, flood it?
My foot wasn't even on the gas!
Restart it, will ya?
It's not my fault!
Stop your crying
and just restart it.
What did you do?
What's wrong with you?
Put your foot on, what are ya,.
What are you doing?
It keeps cutting out!
Carny, did you put gas in the truck?
I filled it up, slick!
Get out, let me drive.
I can handle it, it's
the truck that's got
the problem, man.
No you got the problem, all right?
Listen go out there and check
under the hood, will ya?
Go ahead, I got the hood release.
Sorry about the bumpy ride, kid.
Hurry up!
Oh great, it looks like an
alien star ship or something.
Come on!
What?
What's wrong?
I don't know, it looks okay to me.
Did you check the carburetor?
Which one?
(Set.
Too many tubes, too many
pipes, too many wires,
what is this?
I can't figure it out.
Slick?
What?
You wanna take a look at this.
No no, quiet, quiet,
I'm trying to concentrate,
'cause I can't figure these engines out,
they're just too complicated,
it's just too much for me,
I don't know what's going on.
What do you want from...
Afternoon, officer.
Having a problem with your vehicle?
- No.
- Yeah
a small one.
Not a big one, nothing
we can't take care of.
Can you fix it?
Yeah, oh yeah, we can fix
it, no problem, we got it.
You sure”?
Oh yeah, yeah, we're okay,
we're fine, you can go, thanks.
What happened to you?
- What do you mean?
- What?
Oh, well look at you, you're a mess.
Oh, hey, we're plumbers, see?
Smart plumbers.
We just had an emergency
job, you should've seen it,
what a mess.
The washing machine blew
up, detergent all over us,
I had to rewire the whole house.
I see.
This vehicle registered, insured?
I don't know.
This one?
Oh yeah, we have the papers for this.
Oh, this one.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh god. - We got everything.
- Yeah.
- Everything's fine.
All right, well, you
sure you guys don't want me
to call a tow truck for ya?
No no no, we're fine, we'll
be outta here in a second.
Appreciate your help, though.
Yeah.
All right, well.
Good luck.
Okay, drive safe, officer.
Hey, hey, hey!
What are you, get off, hey!
Stop it!
Get off, hey knock it off!
Hey, come on, you little fur ball, hey.
Stop it!
Yeah, get outta here.
Hey, come on, shoo!
Hey hey hey, get outta
here, get outta here!
Get out, go on!
Get outta here, get outta here!
You all right?
Yeah, strange dogs.
I know they're strange,
we saw them earlier today,
they were trying to attack us.
Yeah, well I'll call animal control
and have somebody come
out and pick 'em up later.
That's a good idea, do that.
Man, you know though,
seemed like they were
trying to tell me something.
Thanks again for your help, gentlemen.
All right, all right.
- Take care.
- All right.
Come on.
Try it again.
No good.
My luck, my luck.
Let's call a cab.
Oh, yeah yeah yeah,
and what do we tell the cab driver
about the kid that's all
tied and gagged, huh?
You got any better ideas?
Oh no.
Oh, no, the cop's walking
up behind the truck.
He ran the plates, I told
you he was gonna do it,
I knew it, he's looking
right at the license plate.
What's he doing,
does he have his gun out yet?
Okay look, look, just don't act scared,
just look normal, all right?
All right, that's it.
I'm playing this out till the last card.
I'm not gonna be scared.
Just be cool, be cool, be
cool, roll down the window,
roll it down.
Yes, officer?
I found the source of your problem.
Somebody stuck this in your tailpipe
and backed up your exhaust system.
Those darn kids!
Oh, those kids, huh?
Try your engine now.
Thanks officer,
you've been a great help.
Yeah, I'm glad I could help.
You guys have a good day.
Okay, thank you.
You ever see a dog again.
Yeah?
Run it over.
Yeah.
When are we getting paid for this again?
At the end of the job, as usual.
I hope it's soon, I'm broke.
How much is my cut again?
Well, you know, I've
been thinking about that.
I was gonna split the
money down the middle.
But since you've gone through so much
and I've been yelling at you blaming you
even though it was those dogs,
what I'm gonna do this
time is I'm gonna give you
three packs of 5000
and I'm only gonna keep
two packs of 10,000.
Aww, you don't
have to do that, slick,
ah, don't worry about it.
Oh, man, I think the kid peed himself.
It's dog pee.
The dog peed on the kid?
No, the dog peed on me.
I thought the spider peed on you.
What a mess, look at me, look at me.
When we get to the
hideout, I gotta clean up.
Look where you're going,
look where you're driving!
You told me to look at you.
Not you look at me.
Me look at me.
The matter with you?
Nothing, nothing.
Those dogs, they got to me,
they're kinda messing me up,
they're messing me up
physiologically or something.
I'm starting to hallucinate.
Hallucinating, what's that?
Well you know, that's
when you see things
that aren't there.
That's a bad tick, slick.
It's not a tick, it's not a tick,
I keep thinking I'm seeing the dogs,
and every time I look up there,
it's like I see 'em, and they're
not there and I look and...
I ook!
They are there!
The dogs, they're here!
Carny, the dogs are in the back!
You're losing it.
Carny, look, look in the back!
Stop the truck stop the truck!
Stop the truck!
I'm gonna get 'em this time!
Forget about it, forget about it.
You get in the back of the truck,
they try to jump in,
throw something at 'em.
I'm gonna drive, come on.
We're close to the ranch,
we can get him there
before they catch us.
I hope a mountain lion eats ya!
Okay, open the door.
Come on.
Let me go!
- You got him?
- Yeah.
All right, come on, put him over there.
I love sleeping in barns.
We're not sleeping in the barn,
we're staying in the cabin.
He's staying in the
barn, now put him down.
Really?
All right, sit him up, sit him up.
We gotta tighten these ropes.
Look, look at this mess here.
Why do you keep giving me orders, man?
Oh okay, you wanna give orders?
All right, tell me, what
do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do?
Um.
Um, that's what I thought.
Fix the knots.
And here, help me with the blanket.
Okay, good.
All right, let's get outta here.
All right.
Wow, look at this place,
it's real expensive.
Yeah, the people we're working for,
they got some serious bucks,
must be some big corporation.
Oh, it must be, you
don't know who they are?
No no, we're five times removed from me,
I'm not allowed to know.
I have some concerns
about the men we've hired
to do this job.
We don't seem to know anything about them.
Don't worry, sir, I can assure
you they're professionals.
Do you know who they are?
Well, not directly.
Well then who does, who hired them?
Francois.
Who?
Francois, he's one of
our people in Quebec.
Canada?
He's worked with them
before, he knows them?
Well, actually, he didn't say.
Does anybody know
anything about these guys?
Look, francois, this
is extremely important.
I need you to tell me everything you can
about those two guys you
hired to do the job for us.
- I don't know them.
- What?
You asked me to find
somebody completely anonymous,
and I did it.
Well who hired them, then?
- Evan.
- Who?
Fvan.
Well what did he tell you about them?
Nothing.
I'm kinda hungry.
Where's that phone, I'm starving.
Oh, here it is.
You order that pizza,
make sure you don't get
any anchovies, and no
peppers, and no pepperoni
and no sausage, no black
olives, no mushrooms,
and definitely no pineapple,
no fruit on my pizza.
Why don't you just eat cardboard, slick?
Why don't you just order the pie, okay?
Aww, do we have to
spring for the kid too?
You should've checked
his pockets for loose cash.
I et me see what I have here.
You know what, I got enough
loose change in my pocket.
Just get him a small
pie with nothing on it,
I'm gonna go clean up.
Four-one-one.
Here you go, slick.
What's this?
What is all this stuff on my pizza?
The dog!
Look at it, carny!
He's got my wallet!
Get him!
He gets outta here, the cops
find the wallet, we're fried!
I think I'm in a nightmare!
Wait, wait, wait.
You take the back
staircase, I'll go this way.
And watch out for that big dog,
he's around here somewhere,
he'll sneak up on us.
Come here you, give me my wallet!
Trapped.
Come here, you!
Get over here!
Where you going?
Come here, you porcupine
face, get it, get it!
Oh!
I can't believe he just did that.
He must be part squirrel or something.
All right, carny.
Reach out there and
get my wallet, will ya?
Oh no, I'm scared of heights.
Oh come on, it's not that far.
All right, hold me and I'll
reach out there and get it.
Well what if, you know...
What if I fall and die?
I'll kill ya, that's what.
I don't like this, slick.
Just come on, let's go.
I got a bad feeling.
Whoa!
Easy, easy, easy.
All right.
I don't know, slick.
I can't reach it, you gotta
get me out further, come on.
Okay.
Okay.
Now I can get him.
Come to daddy.
Slick?
I'm sorry.
You wanna just rest there for a while?
Uh huh.
Are you breathing?
Ah!
Good boy, Samson.
Good boy.
911 emergency.
Hello, 9117?
My name is Charlie.
Some guys kidnapped me.
No, I don't know where it
is, but it's in a barn.
They'll come back any second.
You've gotta help me, please help me.
Calm down, Charlie, calm down.
Just try to stay calm, okay?
Just stay on the line and
we can trace your location.
Give me my wallet!
Come here!
Get him, carny, get him, come on!
Get him, carny!
Come on, get him, get him, get him.
I got him.
I got him.
Give me that wallet, fuzzball.
You're dead, you know that? You're dead!
How should I do it, huh?
One down, huh slick? One down.
Wait wait wait, something's wrong here.
He's not trying to bite us!
No.
Yeah, you know what that means?
- What?
- He's a decoy.
No, he's a Norfolk terrier mix.
No no no, he's a decoy,
he's trying to distract us
from something that the big
dog's probably doing right now!
What?
The kid!
Try to stay calm, okay?
We're gonna trace your call.
I'm
I'm scared.
Charlie, Charlie, are you okay?
Charlie?
Hey, what's going on here?
What are you doing?!
Hey!
Give me that phone!
What are you crazy?
This was a dumb thing to do, kid.
It's time for a lesson in respect.
Say bye bye to your little friend.
Ow!
Good boy, Hercules.
Slick, the kid's gone!
Wait for me!
Hurry up, get him, carny!
Samson!
Come here!
On the ground, on the ground!
On the ground, huh?!
Hey!
Carny, carny.
Shh, shh, shh.
Quiet, you having those
nightmares about the dogs again?
Okay, shh.
This time they were the guards.
Doggies in uniform.
Oh man, what am I gonna do?
They're after me every night.
I can't sleep, slick.
I can't sleep!
Hey, shut up, carny!
Carny, this is the last time, you hear?
Yeah, ya freak.
This is unbelievable!
One night of sleep,
that's all I ask for carny,
is just one night.
I usually count sheep to go to sleep,
problem is they always turn into dogs.
Yeah, you oughta stop with
those stupid doggie nightmares,
you know, you think those dogs are up,
wait till these animals get ahold of you.
I don't think you're gonna
have to wait very long, slick,
look. - Oh no.
You remember when you said
you were gonna watch my back?
Yeah.
I think you're gonna
have to watch my front too.
Okay, okay, okay, just
keep your crazy mouth shut
and I'll handle it.
Hey, guys, how are ya?
How's it going?
Hey slick.
Why don't you bring your little dog leash
when you take carny for a
little walk in the park, okay?
Okay, okay.
Hey carny, say goodbye
to life as you know it.
Yeah, we had our last night
of no sleep because of you.
Okay, okay guys, listen,
I completely understand,
I'm not getting any sleep either, so...
Hey, step aside, Napoleon,
we just want dog boy.
Run, carny, run!
He's the one with the problems, I'm not!
I'm not nuts, he's nuts!
I'm not nuts!
I didn't know you could
get the electric chair
for having nightmares!
I want a phone call!
Who you gonna call, carny?
I'm the only person you know.
Electric shock therapy
is only precautionary.
Please remain calm and there'll be
no reason for us to use it.
What's with the mini king Kong, doc?
Kato is here as my
assistant in your therapy.
Are you feeling fear of the beast, carny?
No no no, he's carny, I'm slick.
It's obvious that you're suffering from
acute hostility syndrome.
He thinks you're cute?
Carny, carny!
You see, slick, carny,
the solution to your fear of animals...
Dogs.
Wonderful, wonderful, excellent.
Let us be a little bit more specific.
The solution to your fear
of dogs is quite simple.
Simple?
I can handle that.
What we have here is a need for closure.
Closure?
Yes, closure.
Close your what?
Close your mouth, will ya?
Gentlemen, please, listen to me.
Both of you need to confront
the dogs on equal terms.
This will allow you to have
the closure that you need.
Confrontation equals closure.
How are we gonna confront the
dogs if we're stuck in here?
Maybe we could get a weekend pass.
Hey, there's a good idea, huh?
Can we go now?
Obviously that's going to be impossible.
However, we may obtain
closure through hypnosis.
Hypnosis?
Watch the ball, watch the ball.
What sort of weak-brained no-mind
would possibly fall for this?
Can you believe this, carny?
There's just no way.
Carny?
Carny?
Yo carny?
All right, well, scratch one
weak-brained no-mind, doc.
But as far as I go, there is no way
I could possibly fall for the...
Now carny, the dogs
in your hallucinations,
your nightmares, have
you ever met them before?
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
We were gonna kidnap this kid.
We weren't gonna hurt him,
but then everything got screwed up...
Hey, wait right there.
These two dogs.
Slick said it would be easy.
We could play tie up the kid,
and get paid lots of money.
Mom?
I can't hear you, I can't hear you.
Hold on a second.
Hey.
Could you keep it down, please?
And the TV.
Go by the pool.
Charlie and Harry and
aunt Karen are there.
Go on, good boys.
Sorry mom.
As I was saying, Harry's gone
to Washington, to testify.
Captain Hercules, hard to port!
Affirmative!
Mission accomplished, captain!
Charlie, if you don't get
out of that pool right now,
you're gonna turn into a prune.
Just five more minutes, dad.
Don't you think you
should be getting ready
for your trip tomorrow with aunt Karen?
That's a negative!
I packed already!
You did?
You're kidding.
No really, I did.
Oh, I'm impressed.
Oh, not now, Samson.
We're gonna have a great
time on our trip, Charlie.
Awesome!
Come on, Samson.
You know Harry, I may be biased,
but I think I have the most wonderfully
energetic nephew in the world.
Oh, thanks sis, yeah,
I'm thinking of sending him
to naval academy very far, far away.
Very funny.
What are you doing, what are you doing?
You trying to wash the whole world?
You're using too much
detergent there, be careful!
This stuff stinks, slick!
It's not the clothes, it's you!
Did you separate those clothes
that gotta go in the dry cleaning chute?
Yeah.
Yeah, you better have.
What, what's the matter?
What'd you stick your
hand in there for, slick?!
I didn't put my hand in there,
you closed the door on my hand.
Open it!
I'm sorry, it was a mistake.
Ow!
Will you be careful?
I think that shock therapy just ruined
whatever brain cells you had left.
What?
Nevermind, just start
the machine, will ya?
Oh look, slick, the guys
came to help fold the laundry.
Hi guys.
Aww, isn't that nice?
I bet their mommies will be real proud.
Yo, don't talk about my mama.
Sorry.
Shut your pipes, eagle beak.
Hey, how'd you like the shock treatment?
Did you get to see the monkey?
Fellas, I don't think that this is going
in a very positive direction.
Oh guard! - Guard, oh guard!
A little help!
- Look, look!
- What?
- Don't see no guards.
- No.
- Do you see any guards?
- No.
Yeah!
What are you gonna do now, huh dog boy?
Yeah, dog boy!
That's a very good question.
Slick, what are we gonna do now?
What are we gonna do?
The usual.
Run!
Put me down!
Carny!
Carny! - Yeah?
- Slick!
- Carny.
The laundry chute, let's go!
Quick!
Come on, come on.
Slick, that looks awful far.
Slick.
Slick, the prison's moving.
Slick!
I think we're having an earthquake!
(Murmuri rn - shh! 9
we're not having an earthquake.
We're in the back of a truck!
No wonder I feel like heaving.
How'd we get in the back of a truck?
Because we're out, carny!
- Out of what?
- Out of prison!
When we jumped down that chute we must've
landed in this bin and got shipped
on the truck by accident!
We better get back, we
don't finish all that laundry
we're gonna get in serious trouble!
Carny, forget about the laundry.
We escaped, you get it?
No more shock therapy, no more monkey,
no more smelly inmates, we escaped!
Hurry up!
Aunt Karen, Samson, Hercules!
Let's go!
We're shipping out!
Hey, dad ever show you the
zoo that they have at the Navy?
What zoo?
Where they keep the
tomcats and the prowlers
and the hornets.
Those are planes.
Oh really?
- Yeah.
- Hmm
aunt Karen.
I. Ook at those two.
They're always filling
my car up with toys.
Unbelievable, huh?
Last time they tried to stuff
their whole doghouse in the car.
Hey, watch your head, kid.
Okay, okay.
Let's get out of these
prison rags, hurry up.
I'm not gonna run around naked.
Oh no no, we'll put on other clothes!
Where are we gonna get other clothes?
Take a look around, what do you see?
- Clothes.
- Yeah.
- Duh!
- Duh.
- Slick, sometimes.
- Sometimes.
Okay, let's grab something off the rack.
Quick.
Good, because this is really slimy.
Oh, you know what?
Don't worry about it.
We don't have time.
Just put something on over that,
because when this truck
stops, we're outta here.
- Okay.
- Here, put this on.
You guys about ready to go?
Almost.
Oh, I see Samson and
Hercules over-packed as usual.
Those dogs and their toys.
Now, you be nice to
aunt Karen, all right?
And don't take advantage of her.
- But...
- No buts.
And don't let her give you any money.
And you, buster, you have
to be on your best behavior.
All right?
No sweat, dad.
All right.
Okay, everybody in?
All right.
Watch your feet.
Car.
Okay.
Let's go, let's go.
Down here, down here.
It's a sewer.
Shut up, come on, come on.
We did it, we did it!
I can't believe we're out.
Fresh air! - Yeah.
At least we got freedom.
Wow, look at those ships!
I'm so glad you work for
the Navy, aunt Karen.
Yeah, I'm glad too.
I've got a little surprise
cooked up for you, young man.
Cool!
Check that ship out,
Charlie, isn't it great?
Yeah, it's awesome!
Wow, thanks for taking me, aunt Karen.
Now, I'm gonna take
you on your own personal tour.
Can I see the
radar and the O2 deck?
Okay, you must be Charlie!
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Hi Charlie.
Hey Karen, how are you?
Hey Don, good.
This is ensign lamping.
Charlie, nice to meet you.
- Hi.
- Karen, how you doing?
Welcome aboard the USS sides.
Now Charlie, the sides is
an Oliver hazard Perry class
guided missile frigate.
Now she's capable of speeds up to 30 knots
and can carry two helicopters.
Wow, that's cool!
You like helicopters?
Yeah, I love 'em!
Our primary mission
is to track submarines,
but we're also capable
of surface-to-air combat.
This is our O2 level.
This is where we keep
the radar and weaponry.
All right, let's go take a
look at some helicopters.
Okay.
I think you'll like this, Charlie.
I reserved this one for you to fly.
Do you have your pilot's license?
Soon, right?
This is our armored cockpit.
Cool!
And this over here is
our forward-mounted Cannon.
Wanna sit in the cockpit?
Sure!
Be careful, Charlie.
Okay, ready?
Here we go.
Hey.
Hey.
Oh, come on.
Whoa!
Somebody please!
Help!
Somebody!
Hey!
My back!
Man overboard.
Here you go.
Hey, thanks for the jacket, boy.
- Got it?
- All righty.
Bill, I'm gonna call down to sick bay
and get a corpsman for you.
No, no, I'm fine thanks to
you guys and these two dogs.
You know, this
place is beautiful, carny.
Hey slick, wait.
This looks familiar.
You're right, you're right.
What dumb luck.
We jump out of a truck, we end up about
five miles from pat's on
the other side of the creek.
Which way?
- That way.
- That way?
- Yeah, that way.
- I'm going this way.
Wait, wait.
Hey!
Oh, sorry, you didn't need that anyway.
Hey listen, we gotta get across the border
into Mexico, right?
Pat's the only person that
could possibly help us
with some money and some wheels.
So let's go.
But you already owe pat a ton of money!
Fh
I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed,
but I think asking pat for
more favors is a bad idea.
You got any good ideas?
- Uh...
- You got any ideas at all?
- No.
- I didn't think so.
Let's go, we're going to pat's.
And don't worry about it, pat loves me.
Pat hates your guts!
Oh, don't worry about it.
Pat is one of the most giving,
loving, gentlest people
I ever met in my life.
- Bad idea.
- No, it's a good idea.
Why are the dogs out of the car?
He's the early warning dog.
Let's see what's wrong, come on Charlie.
And this guy is such a swimmer.
Oh, Hercules!
These are your dogs?
Yes!
That rescued
a man from drowning.
Let's see if we can get a statement...
What are you
two doing out of the car?
From these amazing little dogs.
Maybe we should come back
when pat's in a better mood.
That is a better mood.
Hunk of junk!
She went inside.
I'll go look for some keys or something,
maybe we can take that piece of junk
before she comes back out, look around.
This is Stan
maisley, channel 32 news,
and I'm back live with two amazing dogs,
Samson and Hercules.
If you're just tuning in,
these two little heroes
have just won the heart of America.
Slick.
Slick!
Come here.
Yes, we're
live at the naval base
where we have just withessed
an incredible act of courage
by Charlie Burton...
You're watching TV?
Are you seeing what I'm
seeing or am I hallucinating?
Risk their own lives
to save an elderly gentleman
from drowning in the ocean.
Although he seems perfectly fine after...
The dogs!
Good, I thought I was losing it.
First thing I see
when I get out of prison
is the thing that put me in prison.
We've also
learned that universal studios
will bring the dog by
limousine to the theme park
for an awards ceremony, and
give it a special civic medal
for animal bravery.
Wow, they saved that
old guy from drowning.
I hate those dogs.
They're always saving somebody.
They're gonna get a free
universal studios tour.
I wanna go!
We ain't got time to go on no tour.
We gotta get to Mexico.
Now look around for some keys or something
to hot wire that car,
and will you hurry up
before she comes out?
Slick, slick!
Wait, this is fate!
What are you talking about?
Now we can do what the shrink said!
We can go to the universal studios tour,
confront the dogs and get closure!
Are you crazy?
Yeah, but listen, we fall down a chute,
we fall into a bin, it goes onto a truck,
we end up five miles away from pat's,
we come here, and boom, the
dogs we have to confront
are right there on the
TV, it's meant to be!
No, no, the only
thing that's meant to be
is for us to be sitting
on a beach in Tijuana
and to never see those mutts again.
Please slick, I have to do this!
No, n-o, that's it.
- You promised.
- I promised what?
You promised mom on her deathbed
that you'd watch after me,
even though I wasn't your real brother!
Okay, okay, okay carny,
you really think this
closure thing's gonna work?
Definitely, I think.
Okay.
I owe you, you know why?
Because if you hadn't put all
the detergent in the machines
at the laundry room prison,
we woulda never got out alive.
See?
I'm not as dumb as we think I am.
Fine.
We're gonna go to the universal tour,
we're gonna confront the dogs,
we're gonna get your closure your way,
and I'm gonna get my closure my way.
Deal?
Deal, and then we go to Tijuana.
You got it.
Look for something to hot wire
one of these pieces of junk.
You kidnapped a kid?!
You kidnapped a kid?!
We weren't gonna hurt him!
If that were my kid, I
would break both of your legs!
Okay, okay you're right,
if I had it to do over again,
I wouldn't do it over again.
Look, I just want to get my money
'cause I owe you money.
Asking for more money and a set of wheels?
I'm not crazy, Franklin!
Don't call me Franklin!
I will call you whatever I
want, you got it Franklin?!
Okay, okay, okay, but listen,
how was I supposed to pay you
back if I was stuck in prison?
Always an excuse with you.
Okay, okay, listen pat, we
gotta get out of the country,
we gotta get to Mexico!
Yeah, but first we gotta go
to universal to get closure.
You wanna go?
You gotta go where and get what?
Don't listen to him, he's crazy.
Oh, and I should listen to everything
that you say, Franklin?
Whatever happened to us getting married
and starting a legit
business together, huh?
Exactly, that's exactly
what I was thinking
when I thought about carny and I
going down to enchinada, Mexico.
Wait a minute, I thought you
said we're going to Tijuana.
Wait, yeah, we gotta stop at Tijuana
on the way down to enchinada.
And you never said anything...
Carny, you mind while pat and I
have a private conversation?
Thank you, goodbye.
Oh, you guys wanna talk
about lovey dovey stuff.
Okay.
This is kinda cool, can
we take this instead?
Don't touch that!
You know what, pat?
There was this guy in a cell next to us
that reminded me a lot of you.
Except he didn't shave.
Carny!
You, stay there, shut up.
What I do, what I do?
What I do!
I didn't do it!
Is this one of those new
cures for a headache?
Now, talk, this better be good.
Okay, okay.
Remember your dream about
opening a taco stand in Mexico?
- In entinada”?
- Yeah
I think my headache's gone now!
Keep going.
Okay, well this is our
chance, see, I'll go down
and I'll get everything set up,
we got a place to live, a taco stand.
Fresh fish tacos?
- Yeah.
- On the beach?
Oh yeah, the waves rolling
in, beautiful sunsets
and your own mariachi band.
I love mariachi music, it's so romantic!
Aww, yeah.
Pat's fresh fish tacos.
You promise me?
Oh yeah, of course, I'll call ya
as soon as I get everything set up.
Oh boy, oh boy!
I'll start selling all
this junk right away,
and oh, and get my baby in tip-top shape
and meet you down there!
Attagirl.
Why do you smell like soap detergent?
Oh, we take a lot of baths in prison.
Oh.
Okay.
Here you go, this should
be enough to set you up,
and take that clunker over there,
that should get you down there no problem.
You're the best, pat!
I think my headache's coming back!
One thing, can you get
carny's head out of the vice?
Do I have to?
Just kidding!
But by the time I get down there,
carny better have his own place.
Yeah, of course.
I think you squeezed my eyes together.
Thanks!
If you don't call me,
I'll come down to encinada
and tear that place apart
till I find ya, you hear me?
- But we're not...
- Carny.
We're set.
The Van, over there, go.
Thanks, pat.
Shame we can't take this instead.
Don't!
Sorry!
Run, carny!
Get in the Van!
Charlie!
Samson!
Hercules!
Come on, hurry up!
Your dad's gonna be on TV!
I've just
received a news bulletin.
This is live breaking news.
The jury has just reached a verdict
on the truth in advertising lawsuit
against the tobacco company.
The da's lead prosecutor
handled the criminal trial.
Senate star witness Harry Burton
deserves credit for standing
up to the tobacco company
and doing the right thing.
Harry Burton is an American hero.
His testimony... - Give me five!
Helped find the defendants
guilty of criminal misconduct.
They face possible prison terms.
Give me five!
Next up, the weather.