Like Crazy (2011) - full transcript

Publications like
Rolling Stone and Spare Rib

were created to feed the need

for alternative narratives from the
established newspapers of the day.

In much the same way, the Pauper Press
of the 1790s in England was developed

out of a need for mass representation
for the popular classes.

Those magazines and fanzines
of the '60s and '70s also provided

a means of reaching
beyond the official

and thus, ultimately,
beyond the ruling classes.

The Internet, in contrast,

no longer requires there to be
any notion of the group.

Its concern is wholly
with the individual.



It is with lucrative serendipity,
or perhaps just good branding,

that Myspace is so called.

The juxtaposition suggests
that the act of the individual

in defining their cyberspace
borders is more important

than what it is filled with.
It is simply 'your space.'.

For the end of monetized
mass communication

is the end of the press baron
champagne baths.

Thank you, Anna.
Very provocative. Well done.

Does anyone else
have a presentation to make?

[students chattering]

All right, make sure you turn
in your final packet to Jacob.

And thank you very much.

Hi.

I don't need to give you mine,
because I've already done it.



Cool.
- Cool.

[chuckles]

If she comes to invite
wearing the same dress as me,

- I will completely freak out!
- Hey, yeah... yeah.

No, it was OK.

It was fine.

Sweetheart,
I really miss you so much.

Mum, can you just...

I'll speak to you in a minute. I have
someone waiting on the other line.

All right, darling. I miss you.

- I love you.
- OK, OK, OK, bye

[phone beeps]

- Hello?
Hi, Anna?

- It's Jacob.
- Hi.

It didn't freak you out?

I guess you wouldn't
be here if it had.

No, it was nice.
And it was funny.

It was kind of great. I don't think
you're a nutcase, by the way, at all.

I thought I'd better
put that, just in case.

- That was a good disclaimer.
- Yeah, I just wanted to set that out.

- "No nutcases here."
- Yeah.

[laughs]
- Whoa.

These cups are huge.
They're like reservoirs.

It's almost bigger
than my face. [giggles]

Yeah, so what do you...
What's your major?

Furniture design.

That's why you're always drawing.

Yeah. You like to write then?

Yeah, yeah. I mean,

journalism is probably what I
would want to kind of go into

when I graduate. I don't know.

Who knows what we're going
to do when we leave.

You mean permanently when we leave?
Like when we're dead? We'll be dead.

[laughs] When we leave.
When we depart this planet.

[both laugh]

So are you going to
stay in LA after school?

Yeah, I'd like to,
if I can sort out my visa stuff.

So you grew up with
your mum and dad?

- My mom.
- And your dad?

He passed away when I was ten.

Now, that's shitty.
- Yeah. It's quite shitty.

And what about you?

Yeah, my parents,
I'm very close to them.

It's only ever been...
I'm an only child, so...

Me, too.

Yeah, so I'm quite close to them.

But it's nice being away.

I think it's important to...

to get away from where you've
grown up for some of your life.

I was thinking about
leaving right now, actually.

[laughs]

Let's go.
Where do you want to go?

Um, do you want to come up?

[whispering] She likes
to go to bed early.

Oh, no, that's terrible!

So I try not to make too much noise.
Do you want a drink?

I only have whiskey.

Yeah.

- I don't drink much... actually.
[liquid pours]

Cheers.

[exhales deeply] [chuckles]

- It's strong. [laughs]
- Mm.

- Is that the chair where you write?
- Yeah.

It's not very comfortable.

[laughs] It does the job.

- You like Paul Simon?
- Yeah.

- Do you?
- Yeah, I love Paul Simon.

- Really?
- Yeah, I love Graceland.

[laughs] Oh!

- It's so good.
- That's my favorite album.

[♪ Paul Simon: "Crazy Love, Vol. ll"]

Would you mind reading me something?

What do you want me to read?

Something you wrote.

OK.

- You're not allowed to laugh.
- I'm not gonna laugh.

I haven't read it out loud yet.

So you'll be the first person.

- You sure you want to hear it?
- Mmmm.

"I thought I understood it."

That I could grasp it.
But I didn't.

Not really.

Only the 'smudgeness' of it.

The pink-slippered, all-containered,
semi-precious eagerness of it.

I didn't realize it would
sometimes be more than whole.

That the wholeness
was a rather luxurious idea.

Because it's the halves
that halve you in half.

Didn't know. Don't know
about the in-between bits.

"The gory bits of you
and gory bits of me."

I like "the halves
that halve you in half."

[giggles] It's a bit childish.
- No.

No.

[music continues softly in background]

[laughs]

Bye.

[♪ soft piano music]

[music continues, no audio]

[doorbell rings] [Anna shouts]

- Hello, darling!
Oh, my darling!

- I know! Hello!
- All right, enough of that.

Now, let's have a hug.
Come on now.

[all laughing]
- "Go! Wait!"

It's just the "L's."

[both speaking gibberish]

He's a baker.
In fact...

Did you bring me some bread?

- I did.
- He did!

- He packed it in his suitcase.
It's so good.

-He was baking yesterday.
-Straight from the oven.

It's probably warmed all my shirts.

You're... you're...
you're being...

Oh, for God's sake!

Bernard, stop it. This is something
I just have to ask. I'm sorry.

- We're very open in our house.
- You don't have to answer.

- We're not that open. We are not.
- We are!

We talk... You may not be open,
but Anna and I are.

We talk about everything. I'm sorry.
I have to tell you this right now.

So don't be embarrassed.

You are being grown up?

- You are being adults?
[laughs]

- You do not have to answer.
-Yes.

Thank you. That's all I needed
to know. That's perfect.

Jacob, do you like whiskey?
Just to change the subject completely.

- That is a very good idea.
- I'm learning. Anna's been teaching me.

She's an expert. Of course,
she learned from the master.

What's your favorite
that we've tried?

- La... Laphroaig.
Laphroaig!

- I love Laphroaig. It's my favorite.
- She does.

- It's great.
That's very sophisticated.

- Drive safe. Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.

Bye.

OK. Close your eyes.
Why?

Because. Close your eyes.

[laughs]
- Close your eyes.

Close them. Count to 60.

Fifty-eight Mississippi,
57 Mississippi, 56 Mississippi,

54 Mississippi,
53 Mississippi...

38 Mississippi...

31 Mississippi,
32 Mississippi...

34 Mississippi.

35 Mississippi...
I can open them now?

I can sense you've
brought something.

Thank you. Thank you.

- It's my chair.
- Mmmm.

Look underneath.

It's your first one.

I love you...

like crazy.

[whispering] What are we going
to do after we graduate?

We... We'll sort something out.

Don't think about it now.

I'll come back
and I'll get a work visa.

I hate thinking about it.

I'm not gonna leave.

- Promise.
- OK.

Yeah. Yeah.

Sweetheart, you all packed?
Yeah, pretty much.

I just can't believe it's tomorrow.
The time's gone so quickly.

You certainly left it
to the last minute.

Well, it's difficult,
because I won't see Jacob

- for the whole summer, so...
- How's he doing?

He's good.
He's just in the shower.

He's got his website up and running,
so he's pleased about that.

Darling, I know
you're going to miss him.

Yeah, I just wish I could
stay a bit longer, that's all.

Anna, darling, Dad told you what the
lawyer said about overstaying the visa.

This is important.
You know that.

Yeah, I know.
Those are the rules.

We'll get things sorted
over the summer.

Then you can go back to LA
after Sarah's wedding.

Yeah, I know. So, um...

I'll see you tomorrow, Mum.
I'd better get going.

Yeah, we can't wait.
We can't wait!

Yeah. Bye, Mum.

Are they excited
that you're coming back?

Yeah, they can't wait.
My mum is very excited.

Mm. I'm glad that we're
getting away for a...

for a night.

But we'll come back here
on the way back,

- before I go to the airport?
- Yeah.

- What time is the boat?
- 10:30.

- We haven't got that much time.
- Don't worry. It's OK.

I'm not worried.

[♪ soft piano music]

Wow.

Ow!

- What happened? You OK?
- Ow! Yeah.

- I just caught my finger.
- Let me see.

- It's OK. It's fine.
- Let me see.

There's nothing to see!
I just hit it.

- I caught it in there.
[kisses finger]

That feel better?

[engine rewing outside]

[bell tolling]

So, uh...

What are you doing on Catalina?

You look like a fisherman.
Are you a fisherman?

No?

Do you fish?
I love to fish.

I'm just trying to read, Jacob.

Mm. That's fine.
Fine with me.

It's a fine island.
It's a fine island for reading.

That's my yacht, The Ahi.

Yeah, I like tuna.
I like tuna a lot.

I like tuna enough
to name my boat The Ahi.

I saved a cat from a tree once.

[♪ Soft music]

I love you.

I'm sorry.

It's OK.

You have nothing
to be sorry for.

In 24 hours, I will be home...

with my parents.

I wish I could come with you.

- It would be fun.
- Yeah.

Well... my parents could always...

- No.
- ...help out.

It's fine. In two and a half months,
you'll be back.

Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
I was just thinking...

as an option.

But it will go so quickly, actually,
that we won't even notice it.

- We won't even notice.
[chuckles] No.

[both laugh]

Ooh.

It's so nice.

Thank you.

[♪ soft piano music]

[music continues]

[soft groan]

Jacob.

I've made a decision.

I'm gonna stay.

I'm gonna stay for the summer.

And I'll just go back for the wedding
and come back after that.

As much as I'd like that,
you can't do that.

- Why?
- Your visa.

I can't go back.
Then we don't have to be sad.

And we have so much fun.

And nothing to do. And we
can stay in bed all summer.

- OK.
[laughs]

Oh, man. OK.

OK.

[♪ The Mary Onettes: "Century"]

[airplane approaching]

[cell phone beeps]

[man over P.A.] Attention, Los Angeles
International Airport travelers.

The TSA has limited the items

that may be carried through
the screening checkpoints.

Please state your reason
for entering the country.

- I'm going to be on holiday.
- OK.

- And where will you be staying?
- In Santa Monica.

[typing]

It appears you violated your prior visa.
Were you aware of that?

Um, but I'm traveling
as a tourist... this time.

Wait right here, please.

[♪ The Mary Onettes: "Century"]

[cell phone rings]

- Hello?
Hey, it's me.

Anna, what's the matter?

I gave her my passport and
she was asking about the visa.

- They said what?
- I'm not gonna be able to come through.

- Where are you right now?
- I've not even gone through.

I haven't even gone past passport...
customs yet.

- OK, baby, listen. I'm gonna talk...
- I told them you were coming,

and they said no, it has to be reviewed
when I'm back in England.

I was like, "Can I just come through...
through for... just for this trip?"

And she was like, "No,"
because of the violation.

I'm gonna find somebody
and I'll come get you, OK?

- OK, somebody's coming.
- I'm gonna talk to...

- I have to go now.
- I'll see you soon, OK?

I promise I'll see you soon.

♪

Do you know where customs is?

- Customs?
- Over there.

All right, thank you.

- You have no idea?
- No, I'm sorry, sir.

So this is what's gonna happen. You will
not be allowed to leave the airport.

Two agents from Homeland Security are
gonna come in here after I leave.

You'll be placed back on the plane
immediately and returned to the UK.

Do you understand?
Do you have any questions?

[on phone] Hi, Jacob. It's Anna. I'm
sorry I missed your call again, uh...

It's been pretty busy here.

Are you around
at about five today?

So, five, um...
eight for you...

9:OO... 9am for you.

I can't believe I missed you again.
Let's try for later today,

- and if not, then hopefully on Monday.
Uh...

Look, I'm gonna head to bed.
Maybe we can try tomorrow.

I know you said you had a thing for
the magazine, but, uh, I'm just, um...

I'm, like, really exhausted
and I have to get up early for work.

So why don't you just send me
an email and let me know, um...

let me know
when it's good for you to talk.

OK, I'll talk to you soon. Bye.

[telephone ringing]

Have you looked at those paginations?
I need you to approve them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which pages don't you like?

I'm working with these...
these guys that I've worked with before.

- And, uh...
- Yeah. These.

They're looking for
a bedroom set for their...

They have a two-year-old
and a nine-month-old.

- Can we pull this out?
- Anything you want.

This is fantastic.
Let me see this.

- This is similar.
- This is, this is... yeah.

- Is this home, too?
- Yeah, right up there's home.

- That's great.
- Yeah.

When does he want delivery?

First week of June.

So I'd say we could push it
probably to the tenth of June.

- OK.
- He doesn't need it right away.

He's just getting into
the whole sort of redesign.

Then are you going
to the UK after that?

No.

- You're not? No?
- No, no, no. No, no, no.

We sort of, a couple months ago,
we agreed not to...

You guys can just be
like friends, you know?

Yeah.

- Thanks, man. Yep.
- All right. I'll see you later.

- There she is!
- Hey!

How are you GUYS?

- You took so long!
- I know.

Whenever I'm going out the door,
she gives me four more things to do.

- Can I get a whiskey and ginger?
- Whiskey and ginger?

Yeah, and no ice.
Thanks.

[Pop music]

- I know, but it's so hard.
- Just save up some money and go.

Once you're in your job,
it's just impossible.

Let's do a shot!
Let's do shots.

- Tequila shots?
- Oh, God.

Cheers!
Cheers!

Down in one.
[groans]

Bolivia was two months, maybe.
But I was traveling all around.

Going around the little islands
around South America.

Yeah, it was intense.
Have you traveled?

Yeah, I spent some time in America.

- Where?
- When I was studying.

- Oh, yeah? Where about?
- I went to college in LA.

- Oh, yeah?
- So, um...

- Yeah, I made some...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Some really, really good friends.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cheers.

[♪ Soft music]

[people chattering]

Hey, I'll be right back.

[car horn honking]

[dials phone]

[cell phone rings]

- Hey.
- Anna?

- Hey.
- Hey. How are you?

Um...

I'm OK, yeah. I just, um...

I just...
It was a bit of a shock.

How's everything going?

I moved into a new place.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Yeah, that's great.
That sounds really good.

So, what have you been doing?

I'm just working really hard and...

I'm busy and...

Yeah, stuff's going... going well.

It's been a good few months.

- That's great to hear.
- Yeah, I just... I hope it carries on.

It's, uh...

It's nice to hear your voice.

I'm so sorry I woke you up.

OK, well, I'd better go, um...

before it gets too late
and I have to be up.

- All right.
- OK.

OK, bye. I'll talk to you later,
all right?

OK, bye. Bye, Jacob.

- OK, bye.
- Bye-bye.

[phone beeps off]

[♪ soft piano music]

[dials phone] [panting]

[line ringing]

- Hello?
- Hey.

Hey...

[sobs] Um...

Yeah, do you want to come over?
[chuckles]

Come over now?

And, uh... I'll just be here?

- Yeah.
[both laughing]

- OK.
- Yeah, I'll see you in half an hour.

I'll see you in half an hour.

Just give me a couple
days. I'll get there, OK?

OK.

OK.

[laughs] [grunts]

[thud] [both laughing]

What have you been doing?

[making funny sounds]

Waiting for you.

Have you been sleeping
with loads of people?

Yeah.

And then... we have to
go and see my parents.

Yeah, of course.

We should only do
very English things.

Yeah. Let's have tea and crumpets.

Yes!

Have you?

Have you?

Let's not talk about this.

- Just tell me.
- Not yet.

Have you?

I said maybe.

[grunts]

I don't want to talk about it.

You're right.

- You're right. That was stupid.
- Yeah.

[door buzzes]

It's a man.

Is it a man?

- Hello.
Hi. I've got a delivery for you.

Oh, wow! [laughs]

What is it?
- It's a massive box.

Do you know anything about this?

No.

[grunts, laughs]

- You got it?
- Yeah.

Oh, it's my chair!

Oh, my God!

[squealing]

[singsong] Da-da!

[sizzling]

[soft knocking on door]

Hey, Anna.

- Hello.
- Here you go.

Thank you very much.

Sorry I kept it.
- Was it useful?

It was all right.
- Good.

You all right then?
- Oh, amazing, yeah. Yeah.

- Did you have a nice evening?
- It was OK. She burnt the meal again.

What?! [laughs]
- I know. God help her.

All right, thanks a lot.

- OK, thank you.
- Everything all right?

Yeah, good. How are you?
- You sure?

Yeah, don't I seem it?
I'm just, like, cooking away.

I hope I haven't
burnt the chicken,

- but what can you do?
Well, I'll let you go.

Thank you. I'll see you soon.
- All right, see you.

Take care.
- Bye, Simon.

[door closes]

[Anna giggles]

Hey...

[all] Hello!

- How are you?
- Hello!

- Natalie.
- Jacob. Really nice to meet you.

- Hello.
- Hi, I'm Jacob.

- So nice to meet you.
- You, too.

- How's everything going?
- She's moving in with her boyfriend.

- No, I don't think so.
- Who is this?

- John.
- Are you nervous?

- I would be so nervous if I was you.
- I know. It's a big... change.

Oh... taking that step.
I know, yeah.

So, the other day,
we got some passes

come through to the office for a spa.
I think it's the one in...

- There's four of them.
- Oh, great! My God, that's amazing!

I had the most incredible massage there.

I'm not free next
weekend, but the weekend after.

- Great. That'd be lovely.
Oh, that'd be amazing.

Leave early, yes...

[♪ Paul Simon:
"Crazy Love, Vol. ll"]

[mother squeals]
- Good to see you.

It's so great to see you.
Come on in.

- All right. Sorry.
Hello!

- Hello.
How are you? Great to see you.

And how's business?

[stammers]
It's been good, actually.

Very, very lucky, um... We...

How many more days
has he got here?

Um... not many.

So, what are you going to do?
I mean, is this how it's going to be?

I don't know.
Don't ask questions like that.

- I don't know, we'll see.
- It's expensive. You can't just keep

- flying back and forth.
- I know that. We're just making it work

how we can at the moment.

And then we'll see what happens.
We're just taking it each...

day as it comes.
- I've just moved in to a loft space.

But we're very lucky because things
have been going really well.

- Good. Yeah.
- Yeah.

Ideally, it'd be
great to work out here.

It's just I am so
set up in Los Angeles.

No, I understand.

[all laughing]
stop it!

- All right. This is a blended whiskey.
- Oh, no, here we go!

And all I want you to do
is just try it. OK?

And then we'll move on
to something much nicer.

- You have to close your eyes.
- You don't have to close your eyes.

- You do have to close your eyes!
- All right, close your eyes.

All right.

Just a flavor of whiskey
that you know. This...

is a single malt, and it's
been in casks for 12 years.

And I know that because it
says so right on the bottle!

- Oh! That's so good!
You can share it.

And there is vodka
in it, but not that much.

- Although...
- What else do we need?

I'm not a big...
I have to admit to you all...

- You had the tiniest, tiniest sip!
- ...that I'm not a big fan.

What, of tomato juice?
Of the Bloody Mary?

It's such a pity
you have to go back.

Yeah, I wish, I wish I could
stay longer. I really do.

Well, it would be so much easier if the
whole immigration thing was sorted out.

- I asked you...
Because I know Harry

has been a bit of a slowpoke
handling this stuff,

but once you've annoyed them,
you have to play by the book.

And it takes much more time and,
I tell you, a lot more money.

I realize all you did,
darling, was overstay

- for a couple of months.
Do we have to go over it again?

No, we don't, but...
- We've been through it so many times.

But why not go
for an easier solution?

- Bernard.
- If you two got married,

it'd save me a lot of money.

Bernard!
What?

- Well, it would be.
Sorry.

I think you've had enough
of the whiskey, all right?

I don't
think I've had enough.

I don't want
to embarrass them.

"Tantony." It's the
runty pig of the litter.

[all laughing]

You're so stupid!

- Oh, God, I've got to stop it.
This is far more disciplined

- than we normally are, I might say.
Right.

Who's dasher now?

You, Mum.
Oh, no, no. Really?

[♪ soft piano music]

I just feel weird.

Why do you feel weird?

I just feel kind of...

You feel weird...

I hate it when you
say you feel weird.

Why?

[sighs] Because it doesn't feel like
I'm actually part of your life.

I feel like I'm on vacation.

I don't know. That's not
how it feels. It just...

I don't know.

It just feels weird...
sometimes.

Well, would it be easier
if you felt like...

you could see other people...

when we're not together?

Is that what you want to do?

Then why would you bring it up?

Because...

I don't want you to feel like...

you're not
living your life properly...

when we're not together.

Are you attracted to other people?

- No, I'm not attracted to other people.
- Why did you have to think about that?

Because it's a silly question.

No, it's obviously
not a silly question

if you have to think about it.

I don't mean it like that.
I don't mean...

that I'm attracted to other people.
I just mean it's hard

to keep stopping and starting.

And I'm sorry about
my dad mentioning stuff

that obviously
disturbs you in some way.

[♪ soft piano music]

[man over P.A.]
This is a Piccadilly line service

to Heathrow terminals
one, two, three and five.

[soft, indistinct chatter]

[soft music continues]

[man on P.A., indistinct]

[woman] Do you want
your jeans ironed?

Hmm?

[woman] Your jeans.
Do you want me to iron them?

Uh... sure.

[telephone rings]

Jacob Helm.
This is Samantha.

Hi, how are you?

No. No later than three weeks.

OK. All right.
Just let me know.

OK, bye.

Did they say they could
do it in three weeks?

Yeah.

- Well, they always do.
- I know.

- Oh, hi, Anna.
- Hey.

You fancy a cup of tea?

Yeah. OK.

I actually might stop off
and go to Topshop after work.

Oh, yes.

- Do you want to come with?
- Oh, yes, let's, let's.

So I read your thing.

It's good.

So who is this person?

Um... it's...

it's someone that is...

is very close to me.
And, um,

he's been quite an
inspiration in my life,

and I almost...

Through my writing, I wanted to, um...
give something back.

Yeah. When I was reading it,
it made me think about the fact that

when... when I was...
I was working in New York at Nylon mag,

and my husband was in Los Angeles
so he was driving across country.

So on the way over, he would take all
these pictures of himself and the dog

at various places.
So I sent photos of me.

And then we put them all together, and
they were like this moment in time.

Being separate, but yet we were
together in these photographs.

Well, I was going to say that it's a way
of even kind of keeping you together.

- Connecting.
- Yeah.

Now, there's the challenge.

Yeah, it's hard.

It made me miss him more.

So, um...
you know we have this blog.

I would like you
to take over the blog

and start writing for the magazine.

Wow, uh... That's great.

- Yeah, that would be...
- We need a really nice young voice,

and I think that you are that.

- I don't feel very young.
- Well, you are.

No, I would...
it would be a privilege.

Good.

- Yellow, red, maybe an orange.
[telephone rings]

Some different shades of orange.

Whatever kind of orange you think.

Hey, Anna, could you get the phone?

Jacob Helm. This is Samantha.

If I tried...
if I tried orange...

- Thank you.
- ...It doesn't have to stay on.

As long as they don't
put a veneer on it.

If she likes that and
you like that, great.

Are you mad at me
for some reason?

What? No.

You sure?

Yes. Why would I be mad?

What happened earlier today
didn't upset you?

It was a mistake.

I'm sorry.

[whispers] It's all right.

[kisses] [laughs]

- Are we gonna go out tonight?
- Yes. Do you want to?

- Yeah.
- Good.

[♪ Figurine: "impossible"]

[people chattering]

[people cheering]

[music continues]

Hey, I'm gonna go
to the bathroom, OK?

- Anna, I...
- I just have to say one thing,

and it's really important
that you just listen to me.

I just... It doesn't feel like
this thing is going to go away.

It's always there. I can't...

- I can't get on with my life.
- We agreed.

I know, Jacob, but the things
that we have with each other,

I don't have with any other person.

With any other human being
apart from you.

We should be with each other.
And I feel it so strongly.

And I feel like... it's right
for us to get married...

That's our only option now.
I don't want to have regrets about us.

And we can make this work
if we do that.

I spoke to Harry, and he said
it'll only take six months,

and then I can come back.
And then we can be together.

So will you just
think about it for us?

Just come for a few days,

and then we can make this work.

[♪ soft piano music]

I know you talked to her.

[whispers] Yeah.

[whispers] Yeah.

Come here.

Sam...

You're such a nice,
giving, caring human being.

And...

it's not fair for you to have to...

experience things...

and be with someone
that isn't fully there for you.

And I'm sorry,
because I have to go to London.

I'm so sorry, Sam.

I love you.

[whispers] OK.

I'm sorry, Sam.

Yeah.

[sniffles]

I do solemnly declare...
I do solemnly declare...

...that I know not
of any lawful impediment...

...that I know not
of any lawful impediment...

...why I, Jacob Matthew Helm...

why I, Jacob Matthew Helm...

may not be joined in matrimony...
- ...may not be joined in matrimony...

to Anna Maria Gardner.
- ...to Anna Maria Gardner.

They now wish
to affirm publicly

their relationship
and to offer each other

the security that
comes from vows sincerely made.

Jacob, place the ring on Anna's finger.

- I give you this ring...
I give you this ring...

...as a token of my love
and affection.

As a token
of my love and affection.

[both giggling]

And, remembering this day,
never allow anything...

And, remembering this day,
never allow anything...

...to destroy the feeling
that we share for each other.

To destroy the feeling
that we share for each other.

Wear it with a feeling
of love and joy...

Always.

You have made a solemn
and binding contract with each other

here in the presence
of your witnesses this morning.

It gives me great pleasure to tell you
that you are now husband and wife.

[applause] Yay!

You'll need the witnesses.

[man, indistinct]

- Be careful.
[all laugh]

[Anna laughs]

I'£'S huge!

[both laughing]

I should have grabbed glasses.

- I'm an idiot.
- No!

- Should we just drink it that way?
- Hm-hm.

That's very classy.

[laughs]

[squeals]

[object clatters] [both] Ohh!

[♪ electronic music]

[♪ Fool's Gold: "Surprise Hotel"]

[♪ rock music]

[♪ The Tallest Man on Earth:
"The Wild Hunt"]

[♪ soft piano music]

We have to wait... patiently.

For six months.

I hate six months.

It's all gonna be OK.

Six months.

[♪ Soft piano music continues]

[man over P.A., indistinct]

Oh, you're killing me.

All right.

[♪ soft piano music]

[♪ soft music continues]

[kissing sounds]

[woman] All right.

Jacob and... is it Anna?

- Anna.
[woman] Anna.

I see a lot of good
documentation here,

and I have looked
through some of it.

Sorry, I forgot to... They're...

[woman] Books?
- ...just books and a record

of our relationship
since we first met,

- that, um... that I produced each year.
- Uh-huh.

Let's see.
What are these tickets from?

We both really like Paul Simon.
And one of our first dates,

when we'd met,
we went to see him in concert.

- When was that, Jacob?
Uh, two months after we met.

- Mm-hm. How was the concert?
It was great.

[woman] Yeah.
- He's great live.

[laughs] Yeah.
- And here's your marriage certificate.

I know you got
married here in London

- just a few months ago, yes?
Yes.

Well, I want to tell you
that I don't doubt the authenticity

of your relationship. However, what is
at issue... I see here...

four, is it, appeals.

These are the official documents dealing
with the violation of the student visa.

And this imposed a ban.

And that, unfortunately is the...
comes down to the reason

that I can't process your application
for marriage visa, nor lift the ban.

It has to come from
the student visa office.

Yeah, but we've already applied several
times throughout the last couple years,

as you can see. So I don't know how
many times you expect us to do it.

I mean, I don't know how...

We were told...
I was told by my lawyer

that this would be dealt
with separately

from the visa violation,
which is why we're here.

- We've appealed four times.
[woman] He was misinformed.

- That is what is in the way.
- This is a separate situation.

Then I want to know who he spoke to,
because we speak to someone different

- every single time.
Should there not be one person

who's dealing
with our particular application?

[woman] I wish I could
process this right now,

but it is not up to me,

and I will handle it as soon
as I get a lift on the ban.

I'm sorry.

[people chattering]

[live band playing]

[chattering continues]
Where did you go?

- Where did you go?
- Why did you just walk off?

I didn't. I went to look at something,

and then I turned around
and you were gone.

- You should have just said.
- Whatever. What do you want to do?

- I don't know. I'm really tired.
- Yeah, so am I.

So do you want to go or what?

Or do you want
to get something to eat?

Sure.

- I'm not really that hungry any more.
- Well, we don't have to.

Do you want to eat?

What does that mean?

Do you want to eat?

[car alarm blares]
[children shouting]

So is it worth talking about
you moving to London...

again?

Maybe.

I mean...
you could design furniture here.

Yeah. Absolutely.

Uh...

It would be difficult, but yeah.

- Who are you texting?
Just work.

An order.

[toilet flushes]

So you're very close
to your work colleagues.

Well... what does that mean?

Why didn't you tell me

that there was still something
between you and her?

- Why are you reading my phone?
- I didn't go through your phone.

I walked over there
and your messages are out.

- It's not that hard to...
- My messages were out?

Yeah. I could see them. It's not...
You don't have to be Einstein.

Just tell me what's happening
with you and her.

- There is nothing happening.
- Why didn't you just tell me, Jacob?

I told you.
There's nothing happening.

You're obviously involved in
something with this person.

I am not involved in anything.

You're not involved in anything
with this person?

There's nothing
between you whatsoever?

- Absolutely not.
- That's a lie.

Please don't go through my phone.
It's just going to make you paranoid.

Why didn't you tell me
that it was still...

There was still, like,
a thing between you and her?

- There is no thing between me and her!
- There obviously is a thing

- between you and her. There is!
- No, there is no thing!

- I just read your text message!
- She works with me!

- You shouldn't read my messages!
- Don't shout. Don't shout.

- You shouldn't read my text messages.
- Why did you just shout at me?

- I'm sorry that I shouted.
- Don't raise your voice at me.

People are gonna come around
if you keep shouting.

Oh, my God.

It's really important
if people come around.

Who's gonna come around? Simon?

Did you sleep with him?

- Did you? Tell me.
- Don't touch me.

- Jacob, don't touch me!
- Did you sleep with him, yes or no?!

- Did you?
- Jacob, don't.

"Jacob, don't" what?! Did you,
yes or no? It's very simple.

Very simple question,
very simple answer, yes or no. Did you?

I'm not answering your questions.

Why can't you look at me and tell me?

- Look at me and tell me!
- Don't shout!

- I'll shout if I want to shout.
- No, you won't shout in my house.

All right then!
I'll go back to my house!

- Yeah.
- I'd love to go back to my house!

- I'd go right now if I could!
- Why are you shouting at me?!

I don't understand why
you can say things like that!

- Don't shout!
- Yes, I'd rather fucking be there!

[♪ soft piano music]

Hi, baby.

- Is this mine?
- Uh-huh.

Thank you very much.

Have a good day.
- Thank you very much.

Great.

Who said I was
terrified of heights?

- It was just that one time. One time.
- I've seen you on a Ferris wheel.

That Ferris wheel was shaking

in a way that Ferris
wheels aren't supposed to shake.

Did you want to see me?
- Yes.

I wanted to know how my new
junior editor was doing.

[laughing]

- Yes-
Oh, wow!

- Congratulations.
- Oh, thank you.

[Anna shouts] Thank you!
- Oh, I'm deaf.

- I shouted in your ear.
- Yes.

- Hello.
[Simon] Hello.

- How are you? [chuckles]
- I'm all right.

- What are you laughing at?
- Nothing.

- What's so funny'?
- Just, um...

I just got a little... job promotion.

- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

- About time!
- Yes!

[both laugh]

- Well done, darling.
- Mm.

Whoo!

Well... good for you.
You stuck it out.

- Thank you.
- I'm proud of you.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- About time.
- Yeah.

- You tell Mum and Dad yet?
- No, I haven't, actually.

- I'll give them a call later.
- Bring them around.

Yeah, we'll have a dinner.

Patience... always pays off.

[giggles]

[both laughing]

[both breathing heavily]
[moans]

[both breathing heavily]

[Anna moans]

I lost my bracelet.
Where's my bracelet?

[Simon] It's there.
Here, here, here.

Oh, shit.

It's broken.

- You all right?
- Yeah.

- Hey.
- Hi.

[phone vibrates]

- You must be really starved?
- Yeah.

What you doing?

Just work stuff.

- Ready'?
- Yeah.

Yeah.

- Are you done?
- You sure?

Yeah, yeah. I'm ready to go.
I've got my shoes on and everything.

I'd better just get my coat.

OK. Do you want me
to meet you downstairs?

Yeah, I'll meet you down there.
Give me two seconds.

Hi.

[Samantha] Your breakfast.
- Oh, man.

- How long have you been up?
- An hour and a half.

Thank you. Even though I know
I don't get to eat the bacon.

[laughs] I don't share bacon.

Mm.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

[♪ soft piano music]

[Henry] So I've actually got
the approval letter in my hand

and I spoke with the embassy today,
and everything is sorted.

- You must be so excited.
- No, it's, um...

It's great.

I knew it
would come through eventually.

Yeah, I'm, um...

I'm very excited, uh...

I didn't think
this was gonna happen.

I know. These things
are very unpredictable,

- but you just have to keep pushing.
- Yeah.

Yeah, um, well, thank you.
Thank you for all your work.

Oh, God, please, don't mention it.
I'd do anything for your parents.

Should I give them a ring
and let them know?

OK. No, I would...
I will call them.

- All right. They'll be really excited.
- Yes, they'll be very excited...

- Very excited.
- OK, congratulate Jacob,

and we'll talk soon.

OK, thank you again, um...
for everything.

[Simon] Go forward, my countess.
- Forward, forward.

- Spin around 15 times.
- Are you gonna make me spin around?

- Just joking.
- Ow!

Just joking!

- Where am I going?
- Outer space.

- What's that?
- Ooh. Oh!

Bingo! Sit down.

Oh, wow.

That's... very stylish!

Where'd you put the other one?

It's in the closet.

- I'm glad you're happy.
- Yeah, it's lovely. Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Ah. Meh.

- Cheers.
- Cheers to your promotion.

- To your promotion.
- Jolly good.

- Thank you, guys.
It's so wonderful!

You haven't touched your wine.
Would you like some other wine?

Could I get a whiskey?
Do you have any?

No, we haven't got any whiskey.

What?!
No. We're cutting down.

We've cut down so much.
In London,

you can just be
drinking all the time.

- Yes.
- Bernard.

What?
- New rules.

New rules? Why'?
New rules'?

New Simon house rules.
- Clamping down, clamping down.

- He's clamping down on my drinking.
- Place is on lockdown.

It's good.
[Simon] Yeah, it's bad for your skin.

It is?
I am on a very tough,

- Simon-designed fitness regime.
[Simon] Yeah, it's called Simon Says.

- Oh.
[Simon] Simon Says...

Yeah, we have her up at 6:30 now.

- Every morning, running.
- No.

For the last two weeks.

- Every morning?
That's what it is!

You're glowing.
I have to say, you do...

- You do look different.
- Even more than usual.

You're the first person
that has ever

- got Anna to do any exercise.
[Simon] Really?

I thought it was the new promotion,
but all right.

I thought it was
the promotion, too.

[Simon] But she has a very...
She has a very healthy breakfast.

A bit of oats
and some egg whites in there.

- You have changed.
- A sprinkle of cinnamon, no sugar.

- You have changed!
- If you want to lose weight, no sugar.

That would be it. Everything's moving in
the right direction. I'm really happy.

- This is delicious.
It's good, isn't it?

It's very, very good.

Are we going
to play Balderdash?

- Oh, yes!
- That'll keep us going.

- Actually, the night is young.
- Yeah, we can play Balderdash.

Oh, lovely!
- But just before, um...

I just want to say
thank you for coming over.

- It's been a really special evening.
Thanks for coming.

Thanks to you for
inviting us, my goodness!

I just...
You know, I like to think of life

as a bit of a puzzle.

- A jigsaw.
- Oh, no. He's going to make a speech.

Just stick with me on this.

And, um, for the longest time
there was always one piece missing.

A big piece in the middle.
And I looked around forever.

And I just couldn't find it.

So, um, along comes Anna.

And can I just
commend you two on producing

such a wonderful young woman?

She's pretty exceptional.

I mean, we've only been
together, what, six months?

But I've known
her almost three years,

and she just fit this... puzzle.

[chuckles]

The picture was,
from my angle, complete.

You're beautiful, driven, intelligent.

I want to spend
the rest of my life with you.

Will you marry me?

Listen, I know there's a lot of
things to be worked out here.

I know that there's issues
that need to be ironed out.

But it's very important to me that you
know how much I love your daughter.

Darling, that's really sweet.

I think, um...
[laughs nervously]

- Yeah, maybe, um...
I'll get my jacket.

- Yes, and my handbag, darling?
- Absolutely. Of course.

It's late, we have to be going.

Got to get up early
for work anyway.

Yeah, it's been...
lovely.

Absolutely.

[men speaking, indistinct]
[sighs]

[♪soft piano music]

Well then, good night.
It was a pleasure.

- Take care.
- Good night, Dad.

All right. Come on, let's go.

Well... there you go.

Thank you.

[door opens, closes]

- And send Jacob our love.
- I will.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye, angel.

- Hello!
- Hey.

- Hello. Oh, no!
- These are for you.

Thank you. Oh, they're lovely.

- How was your flight?
- It was good, yeah. Long.

Are you tired?

Uh... a bit.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

[man on P.A., indistinct]

[Paul Simon:
"Crazy Love, Vol. ll"]

- Wow.
- Here it is.

- Wow!
- Yeah.

- Should we put them in water?
- Yeah, let me do that.

[water running]

[Anna grunts] " What?"

Nothing.

Maybe we could have...
a drink to celebrate.

Great.

God, I haven't drank for ages.

- Really?
- Well, not this.

What have you been drinking?
Laphroaig.

Uh, trying to be healthy.

Not drink so much.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

[inhales]

I'm gonna grab your luggage, OK?

[sighs]

There's a market research
assistant post.

Mmm...

Well, it doesn't look that cool.

What about something under magazine?
Ls there anything in that?

That's good.
- I'm just, you know, sketching.

- I think I might have a shower.
- OK.

I'll take one with you.

- OK?
- OK.

- This is cold.
- Is it?

There we go, that's good.

Mm. That's nice.

[sighs]

[♪ soft piano music]

The End