Lighthouse Love (1932) - full transcript
Two marines stationed in the Chinese port of Hang Chow decide to swear off women and join the lighthouse patrol.
[♪♪♪]
Would you like some gum?
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
OK, baby, gumdrops.
Why didn't you say so
in the first place?
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
Me too.
[CHANTING MARCH ORDERS]
Halt. Dismiss.
Ow!
Oooh.
Gee, I'm sorry, Sergeant.
Well, what are you waiting
for, you clumsy goof?
Say, Sergeant, can I go into
town for a couple hours?
What for?
Well, I want to see my girl.
What dame would have you?
The prettiest little
girl in Hangzhou.
Pretty, isn't she?
Could I go?
No.
Look at those dirty shoes.
Look at those
[INAUDIBLE].
Straighten up, and take
that smile off your face.
Sentry, put this man
on kitchen police duty.
Can I have my picture?
No.
Left face.
And you cut out what
you're thinking, too.
Forward march.
Two-timing me, hey?
Well, if you're that
kind of a dame, you can--
you can--
[INAUDIBLE]
We want those for dinner.
Aw, it'll take me all
night to peel these.
Well, what of it?
You ain't going no place.
Well, I was.
Say, Tom, would
you do me a favor?
Sure.
What is it?
See, I was going into town
to ask my girl to marry me.
Will you go and ask her for me?
What?
Well, you're crazy.
You don't want to get married.
Dames is the bunk.
Ah, sour grapes.
Right.
And I'm getting transferred
to the lighthouse service
where I won't
never see no dames.
Too bad you can't get
along with them like me.
I ain't going to try.
My eyes can't stand it.
Aw, but Nanette is different.
Boy, and is she crazy about me.
[LAUGHS]
Well, wait till you see her.
OK, it's your funeral.
Where does she live?
86 Birds Nest Alley.
Gee thanks, pal.
I'll never forget you for this.
OK.
What's the gab?
[THUD]
[SPLASH]
[♪♪♪]
Hey, sailor.
Is there a gal by the name
of Nanette lives in here?
Oui, monsieur.
OK.
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
Hey, Santoi.
All the same girly named
Nanette livey herey?
Please be seated, sir.
Mademoiselle Nanette
will see you presently.
Gee, dame, you gab English
pretty near as good as me.
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
[SCOFFS]
Hm.
[MOANING]
Almost finished.
[GROANING]
There.
It is all done,
and it's beautiful.
Try it.
Ah, my Marguerita.
It is beautiful.
[KISSING]
Goodbye.
Riva della, baby.
Oh!
Are you next?
I think so.
Uh, right this way, please.
Oh, you are nervous, no?
No.
Entre, s'il vous plais.
Your name, please?
Tom Smith.
Oh, you are a stranger.
Your first time here, is not it?
Yes.
Your coat?
No, please.
Now, I didn't come
here for myself.
I come for a friend of mine.
For a friend?
Yeah, he wants me to
ask you to marry him.
Marry him?
Yeah.
Who?
Well, my buddy, Jerry Stone.
Jerry Stone?
Sure, of the 51st Marines?
Oh, yes, Jerry Stone.
Oh, a swell guy.
[CHUCKLES]
Me, marry him?
Yeah.
[LAUGHS]
Why, that's ridiculous.
[LAUGHS]
Oh, can you imagine that?
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER]
Say, I didn't think
a swell dame like you
would fall for a
funny-looking mug like him.
[LAUGHTER]
[DROOP NOISE]
[LAUGHTER]
[DROOP NOISE]
[LAUGHTER]
Aw, say, me and you is going
to get along swell, baby.
[LAUGHTER]
[YELLING]
[GLASS SHATTERING]
[THUD]
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
Yeah, I think I broke it.
If I ever catch you in
anybody's arms again,
I'll break you in two.
But you know I love
only you, big boy.
That's what I thought.
All the same, a new window.
Very sorry.
Now, Sargey, you have got
to stop this jealousy.
That's the 14th window you
have breaked this week.
Well, that guy didn't look like
he was in here for no tattoo.
Oh, Sargey.
[KISSING]
That is enough now.
[KISSING]
He won't be able to kiss you
when I get through with him.
[SQUEAK]
Who won't be able to kiss who?
Uh, I guess I won't.
For once, you're right.
Oh, Sergeant, please.
[GLASS SHATTERING]
[THUD]
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
Tom, you're right.
Women are the bunk.
Now what?
Well, I don't know what
you're going to do.
But I'm still heading for
the Yappa Yappa lighthouse
where there ain't no women.
Say, can you fix it for two?
Sure.
[SPLASH]
[YELLING]
Oh, quit it!
[GLASS SHATTERING]
[THUD]
[GLASS SHATTERING]
[LAUGHTER]
Now, Sergeant, who won't
be able to kiss who?
Shut up and get me out of here.
Aw, get out yourself.
Yeah.
We're off to the Yappa
Yappa Lighthouse.
[CLINKING]
Timothy, as soon as I knit
you a pair of mittens,
you'll be all set
for the winter.
Gee, I'm tired.
Are we nearly there?
Well, we ought to be able to
find a lighthouse in the dark.
Yeah.
There it is!
Boy, that's great.
Say, it's a cinch no dames
would ever find us now.
Lets' go.
You bet.
[SPLASHING]
[FIZZING]
[♪♪♪]
Aw, you're playful
tonight, you little devil.
[♪♪♪]
I'll get you.
Nanny?
Sweetheart, where are you?
Who are you?
And what did you
do with my woman?
Woman?
Well, I didn't see any.
We came down here to get away
from them, didn't we, Tom?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't lie to me.
Where did you hide her?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Give her back to me, or I'll--
Oh!
Ow!
Steal my Nanny, eh?
No.
I'll fix you.
[CLINK]
Oh!
[CLINK]
Oh!
So that's where you've
got her hid, eh?
Oh, we've got to humor him.
Oh, there you are, you
little rascal, you.
Come on down.
Jump to Papa.
Ah, ah, ah, ah,
naughty, naughty.
Kicked Papa's hat off.
Open the door.
I'll break it down.
[GASP]
Sweetheart!
Why, you're not my Nanny.
No, no, I'm not.
I'm her sister, Fanny.
All the girls in your
family are so beautiful.
Oh.
Well, what's the matter?
Don't you like me, Fanny?
Oh, I can't--
I can't resist you.
Oh, you little flirt.
Oh, was your Popsy
Wopsy too rough?
Well, a little.
Oh, where are you taking?
I'm just going to
show you the light.
But-- but--
I don't want to see the light.
Help.
Oh-- oh, let's wait
until tomorrow night.
No, you're gonna see
the light tonight.
Oh, help!
Fanny?
Fanny!
It's my mother.
Oh, gee, can't she stay
a little while longer?
Oh, no, she must
come home right now.
[THUD]
Oh.
Oh, I wish I was
back in Hangzhou.
Come on, get your stuff
and let's beat it.
Bring back my Fanny.
[POUNDING ON THE DOOR]
Bring back my girl.
Quick, the window.
Nanette?
The Sergeant.
So you've got her.
Why, you dirty scoundrels.
Why you--
[SCREAMS]
Oh.
My Nanette!
Where do you get that stuff?
She's my Nanette.
Well, I thought she was mine.
Me too.
Oh, yeah?
Well, have you anything to
say before you check out?
I-- I have.
Say it.
Why not let the lady pick
out the one that she wants?
Yeah!
Oh.
We'll shoot those guns,
pretend we're all dead,
and the one that she
runs to gets her.
That's it.
Yeah.
Sure.
Well, there's three against one.
It must be a good idea.
[LAUGHS]
[GASPS]
Nanette!
Prince!
They have killed themselves.
Thank heavens.
Now, we can have the
lighthouse to ourselves.
Yes.
There's something
cockeyed about this.
[THUD]
[♪♪♪]
Would you like some gum?
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
OK, baby, gumdrops.
Why didn't you say so
in the first place?
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
Me too.
[CHANTING MARCH ORDERS]
Halt. Dismiss.
Ow!
Oooh.
Gee, I'm sorry, Sergeant.
Well, what are you waiting
for, you clumsy goof?
Say, Sergeant, can I go into
town for a couple hours?
What for?
Well, I want to see my girl.
What dame would have you?
The prettiest little
girl in Hangzhou.
Pretty, isn't she?
Could I go?
No.
Look at those dirty shoes.
Look at those
[INAUDIBLE].
Straighten up, and take
that smile off your face.
Sentry, put this man
on kitchen police duty.
Can I have my picture?
No.
Left face.
And you cut out what
you're thinking, too.
Forward march.
Two-timing me, hey?
Well, if you're that
kind of a dame, you can--
you can--
[INAUDIBLE]
We want those for dinner.
Aw, it'll take me all
night to peel these.
Well, what of it?
You ain't going no place.
Well, I was.
Say, Tom, would
you do me a favor?
Sure.
What is it?
See, I was going into town
to ask my girl to marry me.
Will you go and ask her for me?
What?
Well, you're crazy.
You don't want to get married.
Dames is the bunk.
Ah, sour grapes.
Right.
And I'm getting transferred
to the lighthouse service
where I won't
never see no dames.
Too bad you can't get
along with them like me.
I ain't going to try.
My eyes can't stand it.
Aw, but Nanette is different.
Boy, and is she crazy about me.
[LAUGHS]
Well, wait till you see her.
OK, it's your funeral.
Where does she live?
86 Birds Nest Alley.
Gee thanks, pal.
I'll never forget you for this.
OK.
What's the gab?
[THUD]
[SPLASH]
[♪♪♪]
Hey, sailor.
Is there a gal by the name
of Nanette lives in here?
Oui, monsieur.
OK.
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
Hey, Santoi.
All the same girly named
Nanette livey herey?
Please be seated, sir.
Mademoiselle Nanette
will see you presently.
Gee, dame, you gab English
pretty near as good as me.
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
[SCOFFS]
Hm.
[MOANING]
Almost finished.
[GROANING]
There.
It is all done,
and it's beautiful.
Try it.
Ah, my Marguerita.
It is beautiful.
[KISSING]
Goodbye.
Riva della, baby.
Oh!
Are you next?
I think so.
Uh, right this way, please.
Oh, you are nervous, no?
No.
Entre, s'il vous plais.
Your name, please?
Tom Smith.
Oh, you are a stranger.
Your first time here, is not it?
Yes.
Your coat?
No, please.
Now, I didn't come
here for myself.
I come for a friend of mine.
For a friend?
Yeah, he wants me to
ask you to marry him.
Marry him?
Yeah.
Who?
Well, my buddy, Jerry Stone.
Jerry Stone?
Sure, of the 51st Marines?
Oh, yes, Jerry Stone.
Oh, a swell guy.
[CHUCKLES]
Me, marry him?
Yeah.
[LAUGHS]
Why, that's ridiculous.
[LAUGHS]
Oh, can you imagine that?
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER]
Say, I didn't think
a swell dame like you
would fall for a
funny-looking mug like him.
[LAUGHTER]
[DROOP NOISE]
[LAUGHTER]
[DROOP NOISE]
[LAUGHTER]
Aw, say, me and you is going
to get along swell, baby.
[LAUGHTER]
[YELLING]
[GLASS SHATTERING]
[THUD]
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
Yeah, I think I broke it.
If I ever catch you in
anybody's arms again,
I'll break you in two.
But you know I love
only you, big boy.
That's what I thought.
All the same, a new window.
Very sorry.
Now, Sargey, you have got
to stop this jealousy.
That's the 14th window you
have breaked this week.
Well, that guy didn't look like
he was in here for no tattoo.
Oh, Sargey.
[KISSING]
That is enough now.
[KISSING]
He won't be able to kiss you
when I get through with him.
[SQUEAK]
Who won't be able to kiss who?
Uh, I guess I won't.
For once, you're right.
Oh, Sergeant, please.
[GLASS SHATTERING]
[THUD]
[SPEAKING MANDARIN]
Tom, you're right.
Women are the bunk.
Now what?
Well, I don't know what
you're going to do.
But I'm still heading for
the Yappa Yappa lighthouse
where there ain't no women.
Say, can you fix it for two?
Sure.
[SPLASH]
[YELLING]
Oh, quit it!
[GLASS SHATTERING]
[THUD]
[GLASS SHATTERING]
[LAUGHTER]
Now, Sergeant, who won't
be able to kiss who?
Shut up and get me out of here.
Aw, get out yourself.
Yeah.
We're off to the Yappa
Yappa Lighthouse.
[CLINKING]
Timothy, as soon as I knit
you a pair of mittens,
you'll be all set
for the winter.
Gee, I'm tired.
Are we nearly there?
Well, we ought to be able to
find a lighthouse in the dark.
Yeah.
There it is!
Boy, that's great.
Say, it's a cinch no dames
would ever find us now.
Lets' go.
You bet.
[SPLASHING]
[FIZZING]
[♪♪♪]
Aw, you're playful
tonight, you little devil.
[♪♪♪]
I'll get you.
Nanny?
Sweetheart, where are you?
Who are you?
And what did you
do with my woman?
Woman?
Well, I didn't see any.
We came down here to get away
from them, didn't we, Tom?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't lie to me.
Where did you hide her?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Give her back to me, or I'll--
Oh!
Ow!
Steal my Nanny, eh?
No.
I'll fix you.
[CLINK]
Oh!
[CLINK]
Oh!
So that's where you've
got her hid, eh?
Oh, we've got to humor him.
Oh, there you are, you
little rascal, you.
Come on down.
Jump to Papa.
Ah, ah, ah, ah,
naughty, naughty.
Kicked Papa's hat off.
Open the door.
I'll break it down.
[GASP]
Sweetheart!
Why, you're not my Nanny.
No, no, I'm not.
I'm her sister, Fanny.
All the girls in your
family are so beautiful.
Oh.
Well, what's the matter?
Don't you like me, Fanny?
Oh, I can't--
I can't resist you.
Oh, you little flirt.
Oh, was your Popsy
Wopsy too rough?
Well, a little.
Oh, where are you taking?
I'm just going to
show you the light.
But-- but--
I don't want to see the light.
Help.
Oh-- oh, let's wait
until tomorrow night.
No, you're gonna see
the light tonight.
Oh, help!
Fanny?
Fanny!
It's my mother.
Oh, gee, can't she stay
a little while longer?
Oh, no, she must
come home right now.
[THUD]
Oh.
Oh, I wish I was
back in Hangzhou.
Come on, get your stuff
and let's beat it.
Bring back my Fanny.
[POUNDING ON THE DOOR]
Bring back my girl.
Quick, the window.
Nanette?
The Sergeant.
So you've got her.
Why, you dirty scoundrels.
Why you--
[SCREAMS]
Oh.
My Nanette!
Where do you get that stuff?
She's my Nanette.
Well, I thought she was mine.
Me too.
Oh, yeah?
Well, have you anything to
say before you check out?
I-- I have.
Say it.
Why not let the lady pick
out the one that she wants?
Yeah!
Oh.
We'll shoot those guns,
pretend we're all dead,
and the one that she
runs to gets her.
That's it.
Yeah.
Sure.
Well, there's three against one.
It must be a good idea.
[LAUGHS]
[GASPS]
Nanette!
Prince!
They have killed themselves.
Thank heavens.
Now, we can have the
lighthouse to ourselves.
Yes.
There's something
cockeyed about this.
[THUD]
[♪♪♪]