L'homme à la Buick (1968) - full transcript

WAIT

-Good morning, sir.
-Morning.

Two Romeo and Juliets.

Romeo and Juliet cigars.

Last one sold yesterday.

-We don't have the clients in winter.
-I see.

-I have Montecristo.
-Okay, fine.

-It hasn't been opened, let me do it.
-Don't worry. I'll take the pack.

-How much?
-Ten thousand old francs.

Yes.

You don't have any change?



No.

No whisky, I suppose? Of course not.

-Not in winter…
-Of course!

I have Johnnie Walker and Vat 69.

I'll have a Johnnie Walker on ice.

-Does it rain a lot here?
-Especially in the summer.

In winter, you don't notice it. Naturally.

Naturally.

Thanks.

Morning, Mrs. Canot.

I have the posters, at last.

They look fine, you'll see.

Isn't it rather big?

It's the best format they had.



Where will you put it?

On the mirror?

Everyone will see it there.

Or maybe the door.

That would be better.

I'll ask my husband.
You know how stubborn he is.

Wherever we put it,
he'll want to change it.

Exactly.

I'll have a grapefruit juice.

I have tickets for the tombola,
ten francs each.

How many will you take?

Five.

Is that all?

You know, people prefer betting on horses.

They're so easy to sell.

A ticket here, a ticket here…

I'm sure this gentleman will buy one.

-Won't you, sir?
-With pleasure.

Give me ten.

Ten tickets? That's a book.

No, ten books.

-Ten books!
-That's right.

You're really too kind!

What's the prize in your lottery?

Not a maid of all work, by any chance?

-That would be quite a prize!
-Yes.

-You're looking for a maid?
-Yes.

For Paris?

No, here.

Here?

-You live in Honfleur?
-I bought a house on the coast.

So you bought the Martielles' villa?

That's right.

Beautiful place, if I may say so.

Is it true you're having
lots of work done?

Quite a lot, yes.

So you'll be here for the tombola evening?

It's on the 18th, just before Christmas.

If my schedule allows, then of course…

Thank you.

Keep the change.

If I should happen to find you a maid,

I'll send you a note.

-I would be most grateful.
-Mr.…?

Armand Favrot.

Excuse me.

Stop that, you hooligans!

Kids! They're all the same!

It's best to ignore them.

If you were very kind,
and I'm sure you are,

-do you know what you would do?
-No.

You'd put this poster in your car window.

It will look lovely, you'll see.

Look at mine.

It'll look even better on yours.

See?

-Can you hold it for me?
-But of course.

It looks wonderful.

Try to drive slowly,
give people time to read it.

You're terrific.

Not really…

When I do something, I do it well.

I'm off to check on the decorators.

Thanks for the tickets.

I'm most grateful to you, Mr. Favrot.

Until we meet again, Mme…?

De Layrac.

Until next time, Mme de Layrac!

Mr. Favrot!

Yes?

-Your cigars!
-Thank you.

What was I thinking of?

-Morning, Mr. Favrot.
-Morning.

Good morning, everyone.

You've made good progress.

We'll be finished by this evening.

I see.

So you finally decided to turn up?

I waited for the painters to finish,
or they'd ruin the carpets!

Mr. Blancard,
how's the bathroom coming along?

It's coming Mr. Favrot.
Honfleur wasn't built in a day.

You keep saying "any day now"
but there's still no water.

-The water meter isn't turned on.
-I see.

Tell me,

when exactly will the shower be ready?

Exactly?

That'll be…

Thursday or Saturday.

Unless there's a last-minute hitch,
of course.

You said Thursday or Friday?

To be honest, let's say Monday.

At the latest.

When I say Monday, I mean Monday.

Monday.

-If all goes to plan, of course.
-Of course…

Hello?

Yes.

Speaking.

Yes, of course…

Naturally.

I'll pick them up at 8 a.m.

and we'll be in Geneva
in the afternoon, as usual.

That's right.

Fine. Goodbye.

-Thanks on behalf of our kids.
-I'm going to Switzerland, anyway.

Thank you, Mr. Favrot.

Most folk don't give a damn
about other people's kids.

I see.

-Thank you, Mr. Favrot!
-Thanks again.

-My boy is that one, in the middle.
-I see.

If he misbehaves, give him a good slap.

Right.

-Do you hear?
-Yes, Dad!

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

He looks sweet but he's a piece of work,
and I know what I'm talking about!

Hurry up. Go on, quickly!

Don't lose your gloves.

Are you feeling sick, or what?

-I need the bathroom.
-Ask, then.

-I don't dare.
-Chartier needs to…

-Sir?
-What do you want?

-Chartier needs to…
-Here we go!

When nature calls, we must listen.

-Me too!
-Me too!

Out you get, Chartier.

Go on, out you get.

Keep off the road and don't misbehave!

Yeah!

Excuse me.

Come on!

Hurry up, close the door.

If ever you need to…

No, thank you.

I'm sorry.

-Hello!
-Hello.

Come on,

out you get.

Hurry up.

Be quick or the snow will have melted!

Come on!

Hey! Where are you going?

-So this is your first time in real snow?
-Yes.

-Do you like it?
-Cop's kid!

You shut up!

You'll see,
your cheeks will be bright red.

If you're good, I'll bring you back again.

I'll bring you in the summertime, too.
Go and play!

Let's go.

I wanted to say goodbye.

-I'll leave you, then.
-Yes.

I'll pick you up tomorrow as usual,
and return to Paris.

With the other kids.

-About ten if that suits you?
-Yes, that's perfect.

Goodbye Mr. Favrot.
Thank you for your kindness.

-Please, it's nothing.
-Not at all.

-Goodbye!
-Bye!

Thanks again.

GENEVA

Mr. Armand.

Mr. Lang.

Between you and me,

are you sure you're not taking any risks?

Mr. Lang, we've been working
the same route for five years now,

Paris-Geneva, Geneva-Paris,

and you're still asking me
the same question.

All the customs agents
are friends of mine, remember.

And those children
are the best possible passport.

I have the green light.

My cargo always includes
one or two policeman's kids.

I have the blessing of the boys in blue.

So?

Even so…

What if you're arrested?

I'll take the heat, like a grown-up.

-Goodbye, Mr. Armand and be…
-Be careful, yes, I know.

Goodbye, Mr. Lang.

Come on!

Come on, hurry up.

-Come on.
-Let's go.

There we are.

Are you ready, Miss?

Goodbye!

FRENCH CUSTOMS

Good morning!

Say, Mr. Favrot,

they're healthier than the boys
you brought two days ago!

What's going on?

We just picked up a gang of smugglers.

They had cocaine
hidden in transistor radios.

Really?

What idiots!

It's a classic trick.

-Totally classic.
-Absolutely.

Gold car bumpers, dollars in the tyres,
diamonds inside radios…

They don't have much imagination, do they?

Mr. Filippi,
they've nothing between the ears.

-Nothing!
-Right!

So, Mr. Favrot,
you have nothing to declare?

-As for me…
-No transistors, cameras…?

Go on, off you go!

We're off to Paris,
town-hall of the 19th district.

Goodbye Mr. Favrot.

Goodbye, children.

See you next year!

Yes, that's right.

A token, please.

-Here you are, sir.
-Thank you, madam.

The counter top should remain empty

or you'll be in trouble
during the rush hour.

Do you understand?

I thought it was easier this way.

LAWYER

My dear, the question
does not arise between us.

Come in!

-Mr. Favrot.
-Ask him to wait a minute.

No, you mustn't keep Mr. Favrot waiting!

He bought ten books of tickets
for your wife's tombola…

We must keep our benefactors happy.

There aren't many around here.

You're right.

-My dear Mr. Dodelin.
-Dear Mr. Favrot.

I'm sorry…

I wasn't expecting to see you.

Honfleur is a small town.

Take off your coat,
make yourself comfortable.

I'll ask my wife to join us,
if you don't mind.

She presides the tombola committee.

She'll be delighted to meet you
as she spent time in Senegal, like you.

Why did I mention Senegal
when I've never been there?

Thérèse? Let me speak to my wife.

You lived in Senegal?

Senegal?

Yes, Senegal.

Well, I spent a little time there.

-Civil servant?
-Not at all, I…

I ran a large company over there.

Thank you, never mind.

I'm sorry, my wife
has gone out with the children.

While I remember,

have you contacted
Mr. de la Motte, the insurer?

-Not yet.
-I'll phone him.

When would you like to see him?
Any day or time?

He's not at work,
I'm meeting him in Trouville.

Well, well…

For an hour's horse-riding on the beach.

Shall I ask him to phone you?

Yes, please.

The number's 624.

What luck to be able
to take time off work!

If people saw me horse-riding,
I'd lose all my clients.

Dr Lambert rides well,
nobody thinks anything of it.

People entrust their health to anyone,
but not their money!

Do you ride, Mr. Favrot?

What a question! A bushman from Senegal…

I should say that Mme de Layrac
won the horse show.

In Honfleur.

She's a finalist
in the tennis championship…

In Honfleur.

And at golf,
she pulverised Mr. de la Motte.

In Honfleur!

In that case, madam, bravo!

You mustn't think I'm a snob.

For me, sport is not a luxury but a need.

It lets me grow old gracefully.

You can't grow old at your age.

Don't you believe it!
We get older all the time.

At 12, you're an old little girl.

At 20, an old young lady…

And so on.

It's an obsession.

No, it's just being realistic.

-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.

-Goodbye, Mr. Dodelin.
-See you soon, my dear.

-See you soon.
-See you soon.

She is terrific!

She's an extremely dynamic woman.
Have you seen her gallery?

-Her what?
-Her art gallery.

-No.
-It's very popular in the summer.

We're very fond of Mme de Layrac,
though she's not from here.

-Really?
-Let's get those papers drawn up.

Let me see, sale…

Armand Favrot. That's it.

Just write your initials here,
on each page.

Tell me,

Mr. de Layrac must never be bored
with a wife like that.

Michèle de Layrac lives alone.

Divorced?

No, she's a widow.

She's had no luck.
Married twice and both times…

Both times…?

Poor thing!

Your initials…

Coffee, please.

-Brandy?
-No, thank you.

But my dear, you have a wife.

A wife? Everybody has a wife.

Don't you like yours?

She doesn't contribute anything.

-Apart from her money?
-That's true.

-So kill her.
-If only it were that easy!

Well…

Look, here's Mr. Favrot.

What brings you here?

I was bored in Honfleur
and since I was passing…

Mr. de la Motte, Mr. Favrot,
who I mentioned earlier.

Pleased to meet you.

-Sir.
-At your service.

Tomorrow, perhaps, at 11 a.m. or 11:30?

-You know my villa?
-Everyone knows the Villa Martielles.

Perfect, carry on, I'll see you later.

-Yes, but…
-See you later.

-See you tomorrow.
-Very well then.

That's right.

I was watching you,
you look great on a horse.

And on foot too!

-When you walk, it's like a dance.
-As a child, I dreamt of ballet.

I was in the chorus for two years.

When I was a kid, I had only one ambition.

Do nothing and get rich.

-And did you get rich?
-Very rich!

He's a beauty, this horse of yours.

That horse of mine is a lady.

I beg your pardon.

I didn't notice.

I'm very fond of animals.

I always have a few sugar-lumps
in my pocket.

Just in case.

What's your name, young lady?

Her name's Praline.

I'm Armand.

Goodbye, Praline.

Goodbye, Armand!

Perfect!

I'll send you
the insurance policy to sign.

No problems.

Michèle must have told you,
nothing's a problem for me.

-Michèle?
-Mme de Layrac.

She's a very good friend of mine.
Very good and very dear.

-Very dear?
-Yes.

If we discuss Michèle,
we'll be here all day.

Delighted to have met you.
Yet another thing to thank Michèle for.

I think you'll be satisfied.

-You're moving in, I see.
-Hey, you, there!

-Sorry.
-Look out.

Be careful with that painting.

I'm sorry, but take it easy!

-We know our job, sir.
-That's not just any old painting.

Take it easy, careful!

Easy!

-Where do you want it?
-Wait…

Here, there, over there.

Lucien, bring me a nail.

It'll make a good impression.

As soon as you come in…

-Don't stand on it, for heaven's sake!
-It's brand new.

-They always need to be told.
-Absolutely.

Let me see…

That's it. Perfect.

Impressive, isn't it?

Beautiful, don't you think?

-I know nothing about art.
-Of course.

But it wouldn't have a frame like that
if it was a dog's dinner.

Exactly!

Talking of which, it's lunch time.
We'll finish up after.

Buy yourselves a drink.

-Thanks.
-Enjoy your meal.

Thank you.

I love it…

I wasn't expecting you.

You're right to get rid of
all this old junk!

You should have asked
Mr. Dodelin for advice.

He knows all the auctioneers.

Of course, but you know I…

-What is it?
-I hadn't seen the best bit!

It's awful!

The poor Martielles family…

How did they live with all this?

Come and help me.

To do what?

An act of charity.
Help me take down this rubbish.

Careful, it's heavy.

That feels better already.

Yes, there's more air.

They sold the villa fully furnished?

Yes, with a part-exchange.

Look at that armchair!

And the table!

And the sideboard!

How are you planning to furnish the house?

I don't know, at the moment,
I'm not quite sure…

Shall I do it for you?
I'm free at the moment.

-Absolutely.
-Visiting antique shops will keep me busy.

-If I choose furniture you don't like…
-I'm sure to like it.

Our taste is so similar.

That's what we're about to find out.

Marie-Louise!

What's this?

You said you were looking for a maid.

I've found you one. Marie-Louise.

-Good morning, sir.
-Hello.

Her parents are at Beuzeville.

She'll be free to start next week.

So…?

Going, going…

Gone!

-Her hours and salary?
-I'm sure you'll find them satisfactory.

You'll have to work hard.

Say goodbye to the gentleman.

Goodbye, sir.

-See you next week.
-Yes.

-I'll bring her next week.
-I don't know how to say this, but…

You're terrific.

You said it.

Did you see Mr. de la Motte?

Yes, I saw Mr. de la Motte.

-Why are you laughing?
-Because he calls you Michèle.

Monsieur de la Motte is very kind,
an excellent horseman.

As you may have noticed,
he's also a complete imbecile.

Yes, I noticed.

I promised to take the girl
back to her parents.

When shall we start prospecting?

Whenever you like.

Then I'll be right back.

She's terrific!

What's happening to me?

I'll have to change all the furniture
to please her.

She's terrific, and very expensive.

I'll call Lucien.

INTERNATIONAL COMPETITION

-Hello, Lucette.
-How are you, Mr. Armand?

-Very well.
-Mr. Lucien is expecting you.

Well, well, my old friend.

Where have you been hiding?

We were starting to worry.

I don't even have a number for you,
in an emergency.

Don't ask.

But since it's you,
I'll give you my new number later.

How are things? The hotel? The rooms?

It's going okay. Up and down.

And the bar?

As Paulette says,
filling glasses fills the till.

Show me the books, I'll take a look.

They're completely up-to-date.

I'm a stickler for accounts.

Hello, stranger!

-You'll stay for lunch?
-Of course he will.

Snails, tripe and bean stew.
Does that sound good?

You can say what you like,
she's not the cook.

Yes, but I designed the menu.

Let me know when you're ready.

Leave it, we can look later.

Really? As you wish.

-Shall we bring the boys in?
-Yes.

You're quite something!

I mean, really!

He's right, I mean, really!

Just in time. I was about to put Simone
back on the game.

You're here at last.

We were starting to grow cobwebs.

Lucette?

-Two Moët & Chandon.
-No!

You know I only drink milk.

And some milk for Paluche!

Where's the Marquis?

Tonnerre, tell Paulette
to bring the Marquis down here.

You know the Marquis isn't an early riser.

-He's still staying here?
-He's a bit of a fixture.

I don't like it.
The police might draw conclusions.

This is a hotel, not an HQ.
I say we should spread out.

Your bib is on the counter.

-Thank you, Lucette.
-Very good, sir.

Hello.

Hello.

I'm sorry, old boy,
I wasn't expecting you.

When Paulette called me,

I was in the middle of a conversation
and she cut me off.

You had phones installed in the rooms?

You misunderstand me, I was…

with a lady.

I can't bear sleeping alone.

Afraid of the dark?

I like to have someone at my side
with whom I can share

my simple pleasures.

So…

Loot or no loot?

Loot, Marquis, loot.

-Marquis.
-Yes?

You know which is your chair?

To our good health!

To our wealth!

Ole!

Ole!

Well, I thought it was funny!

Okay.

Let's get down to serious business.

I want to hear your proposals,

tell me what you have planned.

We got pally with
a car mechanic in Saint-Denis.

We thought we could pick up a load
of cars in that part of the city.

-We could give them a new look and…
-Pathetic!

And I mean, pathetic.

That sort of job went out of fashion.

And car mechanics are too greedy.

But cars are worth money!

Yes, in America, when your name's Ford.

I have an opportunity
to be grasped straight away.

I've a key belonging to
a room-service waiter at the Ritz.

Interesting friends you have!

Don't poke fun.

The staff at the Ritz
are the best of the luxury hotels.

And luxury hotels are a wing
of the Foreign Office.

The Ritz porter has a degree in politics.

Get to the point.

They're expecting the Negus
between the 15th and the 20th of January.

The Negus is a man of means.

Gold bars!

Racketeering at the Ritz

was a historic occasion
on the Place Vendôme, wasn't it?

The Negus…

You'll end up in a dungeon
with a 20-year sentence!

You can't touch crowned heads.

They're protected by the law.

-We've got the address of a receiver.
-The best in the world.

-So?
-So…

Let's say we raided his place.

A nice little break-in, a piece of cake.

All the stuff is there,
all stolen, just waiting to be picked up.

There for the taking.

He can't tell the cops,
we sell the stuff to another fence.

You can't do that.

You don't nick merchandise
stolen by a pal.

Those are my principles.

We must be loyal to our receivers.

They're our bankers.

-Profiteers.
-Like all bankers!

Without them, Paluche,
you'd be sleeping on the streets.

You'd be out there begging
with the blind and the crippled!

And you, Lucien?

I've a better idea.

Look. What can you see
on the Avenue George V?

You tell me.

Moll, the jewellers.

The neighbourhood's ideal
if you get the timing right.

And the trinkets are as good as Cartier.

Just the window display must be worth
more than two million francs.

I checked.

I'll buy into your idea, but give me time
to work out the details.

A hold-up on the Champs-Élysées,
that's crazy!

-Just what I was going to say.
-I've nothing to say, but I say no.

And that's it.

Next door to the Figaro, my daily paper.
I mean, really…

How many years did you spend inside
before you worked with me?

I'm not ashamed to say
that I got the works.

Ten to start with, five to finish.
Why do you ask?

Ten and five make fifteen.

And you?

Two to start with, then four,
and then eight.

Eight and four make 12, plus 15 makes 29.

What about you, Tonnerre?

I'm not sure
but altogether it must make 15.

So 29 plus 15, that makes 44.

And you?

-Twenty years in four stages.
-44 plus 20 is 64.

With Lucien's total, that's how old
my grandmother was when she died.

Think that's something to crow about?

We deserve some consideration, at least?

Yes, Marquis! A pair of golden handcuffs.

You've had it easy
since we've worked together.

Never investigated,
interrogated or arrested.

-Thanks to me, don't you think?
-Yes, of course.

Of course it is.

And why?

Because I have no criminal record.

I'm pure as the driven snow.

So when I say Lucien's job is a good one,
you can believe me!

Tell Paulette we're ready for lunch.

-Good evening, sir.
-Good evening.

Could I see the ring in the window?

The solitaire.

One moment, please.

Here we are.

Sorry.

It's very beautiful.

-What does it weigh?
-Fifteen carats.

Do you have anything else?

I have a very beautiful emerald.

It's really extremely beautiful.

Sir?

A unique piece.

Extremely transparent.

You rarely find an emerald
of such quality at that price.

-What's it worth?
-Twenty-five million.

-Old francs.
-Of course.

Don't worry, darling!

Everything will be all right.

Put them back on the tray.

Very well, I'll come back early next week.

You're very welcome.

I went to Avenue George V.

So what do you think?

It's good. Very good.

But it won't be easy.

So is it "yes" or "no"?

It's "maybe", get it?

Maybe.

I'll let you know in a few days.

-Ciao!
-Bye.

Honfleur 624, please.

Put two or three balls up at the top.

-Hello, Armand?
-Yes, Michèle?

I'm sorry to bother you.

You know that you never bother me.

I received the latest armchairs.

-And the sofa.
-Not too expensive?

Expensive? What does that matter?

Beautiful things
are always expensive, aren't they?

What about my tombola?

-I'm expecting you.
-The tombola?

What would I do at the tombola?
I don't know anyone.

Exactly, you'll meet people.

Mme Dodelin is so keen to meet you,

and talk about Senegal.

Be here at eight.

And bring that painting
your removers forgot.

-That awful thing?
-Yes, that's right.

It'll be the consolation prize,
and you'll be rid of it.

Very well, I'll see you later.

Goodbye, Armand.

Marie-Louise!

Mme Dodelin wants to talk about Senegal!

Senegal must be…

Where's my damned book?

-You called me, sir?
-Yes, I called you.

-Where did you put my painting?
-Which one?

You know, that awful thing in a frame.

In my room.

In your room? Bring it to me.

Yes, sir.

What was I looking for?

Senegal. My Senegal!

Where did I put it? I'll never remember…

Senegal, 193 000 km²…

Senegal, 193 000 km²…

Dakar, major port
on the Atlantic coast, yes…

Goods from Mauritania…

The main exports are peanuts,
mineral resources and…

I'll never remember.

Are you Mr. Favrot?

-Yes.
-Come with me, please.

Mr. Favrot…

I've kept you a good seat.

How are you? May I present my wife?

-My pleasure, Madame.
-The auctioneer of Honfleur.

-Delighted.
-Pleased to meet you.

It's good of you to come.

Everyone is so pleased to have you here.

My wife in particular
was keen to meet you.

-You were in Dakar, I believe.
-Yes!

I spent a lot of time there,
I love Senegal.

Me, too! What a marvellous country!

-So beautiful.
-Yes, very.

Senegal, 198 000 km²…

Population 3 500 000
of which 400 000 in Dakar…

It's changed a lot, you know.

Did you like Dakar?

Yes, I loved Dakar's port,

all those goods
coming in from Mali, Mauritania…

-Of course, you know that.
-What did you do there?

What I did, you know, I…

Exports…

All those goods…

And in Senegal, peanuts…
That goes without saying!

Ladies and gentlemen, quiet please!

Thank you.

We will now proceed with the tombola.

Madam President?

Go on, Madam President, do your duty.

-Will you excuse me?
-Of course.

Mr. Favrot, with ten books of tickets,
you should win the first prize.

So do I!

579.

That's me!

A splendid electric fan.

405!

A guitar!

A marvellous guitar, madam.

962!

Come to the buffet with me.

There's a special bottle of whisky
put aside by Mme de Layrac.

Will you come with us, sir?

With pleasure.

Number 420!

A family picture,
painted entirely by hand.

That's me!

You lucky man!

Which way are you going?

It's too early to say goodnight.

Let's get a drink.

-In Honfleur?
-No!

I know a wonderful place.

I've been doing some exploring,
former bushman that I am!

How to begin?

By talking about her, of course, but how…?

What will he talk to me about?

We know each other well enough by now for…

Her eyes…

No. What about…?

Her mouth.

What's he waiting for, the idiot?

She's terrific,
I want to talk about her legs…

Yes, her legs, and her hips…

That's a lovely scarf you're wearing.

You think so?

-Did you really live in Senegal?
-Why do you ask?

No reason.

Of course I did.

Perhaps it was a dream.
Do you never dream?

Of course!

Right now, I'm dreaming
that I'm with you, in your Buick.

We share the same dream.

Looks like it's closed…

Yes, it's closed.

What shall we do?

I don't know.

We'd best go back to Honfleur.

Yes.

It's a pity.

BLUEBELL HOTEL

So, you're home now.

Would you like to have a drink
at my place?

A woman alone in a man's house…

Have a drink at my place.

That's an idea.

ESTUARY GALLERY

I'll go first,
since you don't know the way,

bushman!

Lucette, a Grand Marnier.

Yes, Inspector.

-May I?
-Yes.

Hello?

Right away, hold on.

Mr. Lucien, it's Mr. Armand.

Thank you.

Hello?

For the jewellers, it's a "yes".

But it has to be quick.

That's good. When?

End of next week, at the latest.

Fine. I'll get everyone together.

Ciao!

Ask your wife to come in.

Paulette.

Come here.

Paulette,

we need you a jewellery job.

A break-in?

No, a hold-up.

For you, Armand,
I'd climb the Himalayas on one leg.

But tell me, for going into town,
do you have something a little less…

"business in the street?"

Something…

more discreet?

Of course, the little Chanel number,
with the apples.

I wore it to your niece's First Communion?

-Exactly!
-The niece's dress.

Put it on.

Okay, this is how I see it.

Tomorrow morning, at exactly 9 a.m.,

I'll park my Buick opposite
10, Avenue du Président Wilson,

and the corner of Freycinet Street,

Maxime will be waiting
in a black Citroën DS.

I don't have a black DS.

-So nick one.
-Nick a black DS?

If you can't nick a DS,
you may as well go back to school.

All right.

So we meet on the corner of Avenue
du Président Wilson and Freycinet.

Then we go directly
to the Iéna metro station.

There, at 9:07 a.m. on the dot,

we pick up Lucien with his machine-gun.

Just a deterrent, naturally.

Marquis, you'll be lookout
and see me coming.

Stand by the jewellers
and keep watch while reading Le Figaro.

What if someone wants to go inside?

Stop them, ask for directions in English,
anything you like.

And when you come out?

You jump into the DS.

Maxime will be at the wheel,
he's the best.

Paluche will keep us
a parking space by the shop.

How so?

As a delivery man, you park your tricycle.
When we turn up, you clear off.

What about me?

You wait for us in front of
the radio and TV building,

on Quai du Président Kennedy.

So, what do you think
of my little Chanel outfit?

Walk around a little.

-Walk?
-Yes, walk.

What's this?
Are you going to walk like that?

You mustn't walk like that.

-Think of something else.
-Like what?

I don't know!
Think about France, or your mother.

But don't think about you know what.

You're a lady.

Go on.

Not so stiff.

Not so stiff, more relaxed.

That's better.

Yes.

I don't know…

There's something…

There's something missing.

I don't know what…

You should be wearing a little scarf.

Here.

Let's see this.

Armand, you have a magic touch.

Tomorrow at 9:15 a.m., you enter the shop
if there are no other customers.

How will I know?

The Marquis will fold his newspaper
and put it in his pocket.

Understood.

You go into the shop
and ask to see a necklace.

That will be between 9:15 and 9:18.

Okay.

When they give you the necklace,
handle it like you're an expert.

Clumsily, you break it,

the pearls fall to the floor,
everyone rushes to pick them up.

Lucien and I come in,
I'll hold them up and Lucien will collect.

And I scarper?

Or do I faint?

Scarper!

Sit down.

-Are these the raincoats?
-Yes.

-And the gloves?
-Gloves too.

Our change of clothes is in the van.

Okay. After that,
we burn the raincoats and gloves.

-And bury the machine-gun.
-Okay.

And now, synchronise watches.

It is exactly seven minutes to midnight.

S.O.S. REPAIRS

Drive round the block.

It's a hold-up!

-My shoulder…
-Shut up, Marquis.

Lower your turtle-neck.

-We're cornered.
-Go faster!

My shoulder!

-I didn't see Paulette come out.
-That's all we need.

If they've got Paulette,
we'll get 20 years.

Roll down the window
so they can't see that.

Quickly!

Come on, quickly!

-My arm!
-Get in!

Everything went okay?

-Fine.
-And the DS?

Leave it there.
Go now and we'll get in touch.

Okay.

-Bon voyage!
-Thanks.

Go on, start her up.

My shoulder hurts really bad.
And I lost my umbrella.

Your umbrella?

-Yes.
-That's clever!

-Lucien.
-Yes?

-We'll drop you at Ternes.
-Okay.

Stop in front of the metro.

Ciao!

DR BERNARD - BY APPOINTMENT

Is Dr Bernard here?

He's busy,
but if you'd like to take a seat?

Tell him it's about his cousin, César.

Very good, sir.

Excuse me, madam, one moment.

Come in.

-What is it this time?
-An emergency.

Been playing silly buggers again?
What's wrong?

Two bullets in the shoulder.

Okay, I can take those out. Where is he?

In the car, downstairs.

I'll get my assistant out of the way.
Bring him up, I'll handle it.

Will it take long?

About two hours, two and a half?

-That's a long time.
-Yes.

He doesn't look too good.

It's the painkiller.

Fresh air will do him good.

Yes.

So, 300 as usual?

It's not much, given the circumstances.

"Daring hold-up in broad daylight,
400 million old francs."

"One of the criminals was wounded
but managed to escape."

How are you feeling?

Naturally…

Where are you taking me?

To apple country,

where you're from,

in Normandy.

Is that your house?

Forget you ever saw it.
Stay where you are.

The holidays are looking good!

That's enough!

Marie-Louise,
I see you're in good company.

We're doing nothing wrong.

His dad is Mr. Blancard,
who installed your bathroom.

Come on, kids, time for bed.

Come on.

Say hello to your father.

-I'm sorry, sir.
-Yes, all right.

See you tomorrow.

What's this? Is it new?

Mme de Layrac brought them this afternoon.

I see.

Go to bed.

-Hurry up.
-Good night, sir.

Goodnight!

-Come down, she's gone.
-You sacked her?

On temporary leave,

because everyone's discussing
the man with the injured shoulder.

I'd prefer it if people
didn't make the connection.

-When will she be back?
-When your arm is better.

I gave her 1 000 francs for her trouble.

You're very generous with your staff.

-Coffee?
-Here.

Thanks.

But there's no cream.

For my breakfast, I usually have
two eggs and bacon, with butter,

toast, marmalade, tea and a citron pressé.

I live like an Englishman!

Did you get any cream
while you were in jail?

As a young man, I was less demanding.

-Have you read the papers?
-Yes, now that reminds me…

May I…?

Thanks.

Just as I thought.

You were in such a hurry yesterday,
from one minute to the next.

Peppermint paid out 3 000 francs
in the second race,

and I had no time to bet.

Do you mind looking at the front page?

I'm only interested in the racing,

as for the rest,
I don't believe a word of it.

So you don't believe
in the hold-up either?

-Of course not.
-What hold-up?

Are you serious?

Are you feeling all right?

Absolutely! Excellent!

I'm practising denying everything.

It'll be sound more natural
if I get hauled in for a grilling.

Where do you buy your coffee?

It's exquisite!

Thanks.

So Paulette got away okay.
I'm happy for her.

Yes.… But they're looking for
the man with the umbrella.

Two witnesses gave a description of you.

Did they find my umbrella?

If they find my fingerprints
on the handle,

they'll identify me right away.

I don't mean to be rude,

but my bed at the police station
is more comfortable than your guest room.

In fact, I made a short list,

of what I need, if you're going out.

Pyjamas, dressing gown,
pair of slippers size 44,

toothbrush, electric razor…

German. They're the best make.

-Really?
-Yes.

A pack of Players, toothpaste.

Is that all?

For today, yes.

And put 1 000 francs on Fantomas
to win in the third.

And please, don't forget
the doctor's prescription.

Yes.

-What time do you go to bed?
-Why?

If I have time, I'll come and tuck you in.

SHOPPING MALL

PHARMACY

Wait, Mr. Favrot, let me help you.

You're too kind.

Thank you.

That's some pile of loot you have there!

Loot?

Well, yes…

-Good bye, sir.
-Goodbye, Mr. Favrot.

A pack of Players, please.

Did everything go well in Paris yesterday?

Yes, very well.

Who said I was in Paris?

Well, now…

Who do you think the pavement's for?
Your sister?

ESTUARY GALLERY

MR. DE LAYRAC

Remember the jeweller's?

You were there.

Paluche was here.

The Buick was over there.

We picked up Lucien and then…

What do you think?

I'm lost for words. Bravo!

Such a pity you weren't there in 1940.

What's that?

Quick, the papers.

Hide!

-Mr. Armand Favrot?
-Yes.

Detective Inspector Farjon.

Please, come in.

Please excuse the mess,

and for this morning, I was rather rude.

"Is the pavement for your sister?"
I've had worse.

-You read all these?
-I flick through them, you know.

To keep up to date.

"American-style hold-up", whatever next?

The newspapers
are full of rubbish, aren't they?

But… Please…

-Take a seat.
-Thank you, I prefer to stand.

Really? So do I.

I'd rather stay… Because…

A drink, perhaps?

Thank you, no, never on duty.

I forgot.

Your name is Armand Favrot?

Yes.

You own a hotel in Paris, at Ternes?

Hotel Le Pax.

Managed by a certain Lucien Bordier.

And you purchased a house in Honfleur?

-This house.
-I know.

I just left Mr. Dodelin, the lawyer.

I talked to a lot of people this morning.

-You arrived this morning?
-Yes.

If I'd come yesterday,
I'd have missed you.

You were in Paris yesterday, I'm told.

-Yes, I was away.
-For three days, I know.

One has to keep oneself entertained.

That's funny.

You're a collector?

Yes. Presents for kids.

I collect umbrellas.

I have one belonging to Landru,

a present from a former colleague.

I have Stavisky's umbrella,
Dr Petiot's umbrella,

and Roger La Came's umbrella.

I was the one who nabbed him.

A crook is never safe under an umbrella.

And, if my information is correct,

you're a friend of the widow Layrac.

Yes… a friend…

The lady is quite wealthy, is she not?

I have no idea.

She's very fond of you.

I think so, perhaps.

I'm sure of it.

Very fond.

And curious about you, too.

-You told her you were going to Paris?
-Yes.

She didn't ask to come with you?

No.

Is there someone upstairs?

The upholsterer, he's measuring.

-Strange.
-Yes, it is.

He walks like a jailbird in his cell,
in Clairvaux or Poissy.

Ten steps down, ten steps across.

They call it "doing tens".

"Doing tens"?

When you've been done
for ten or twenty carats…

Yes…

Will you excuse me?

Hello, my dear.

No, my dear.

Not right now.

I have a visitor.

Well…

I'll phone you back. Or you call me.

I'm sorry.

You intend to settle in Honfleur?

I don't know. I love travelling.

Some time here, some there…

-When one isn't tied down…
-Yes.

Nice paintings!

This one too.

They're not mine. I have them on loan.

-For safe keeping.
-Yes, I know.

You know? You know everything.

-See you soon, Mr. Favrot.
-I'll show you out.

The pleasure was all mine.

You know who that was? A detective.

Already?

And while you were
taking your constitutional, he was…

-He questioned you?
-You can say that again.

He was very indirect.

For now, he's circling, sniffing,

beating about the bush,
shuffling the deck.

Funny old game.

Bluffing. If he had proof,
he'd put his cards on the table.

He doesn't know anything.

-Nothing?
-No!

And meanwhile,
he hasn't forgotten your umbrella!

It's stuck here.

Like a bone in his throat.

When he spits it out,
it'll make some noise!

-He mentioned my umbrella?
-Yes!

What can we do?

A race against the clock, via Paris.

I'm mustn't get caught with the jewels.

I'm taking them to my fence.

What about me?
You can't leave me here alone?

Don't go out or use the telephone.

Don't use the lights or the TV
unless you pull the curtains.

Black-out…

Total.

Armand!

That's odd, I dreamt about you last night.

What have you got for me this time?

There it is.

Avenue George V was you?

Avenue George V was me!

-Nice stuff to handle, isn't it?
-You don't say!

So, how much and when?

I can't tell you straight away.

Give me some time…

to assess them.

-Are you in a hurry?
-No, I've plenty of time.

But try to be quick.

Then come back in two days' time.

May I? You can take it off my bill.

Show me.

You're going to do something stupid.

No, Auguste, not stupid.

Just foolish!

Congratulations, Armand.

You did a great job.

-A really great job.
-See you Friday.

Friday.

Should we invite the prefect?

No, he's being moved on. Ask his deputy,

and don't forget
the public prosecutor, Mr. Popelin.

Dr Lambert, Dr Carquin and Dr Perséfil.

Invite them all. At least their patients
will be safe whilst they're here.

And Armand Favrot?

What do you think?

We must invite him, he's almost
certainly going to marry Michèle.

I've never seen a man
show so much respect for a woman.

And he's so distinguished.

Don't strangle me, you moron!

Mind your language,
you're about to enter polite society.

What am I going to look like?

You know…

You look fine!

Apparently they invited Popelin,
the public prosecutor.

-Popelin?
-You know him?

I met him in court.

He gave me
five of the worst years of my life.

-Including a leap year.
-Really?

Also invited are the deputy-prefect,

local doctors and the head
of the chamber of commerce.

This would be the ideal time
to visit all their houses.

All those empty houses
with cupboards full of treasures…

It's very tempting.

What's that?
You'll do nothing of the sort!

There we are.

All of our friends in Honfleur
are delighted to have you here.

And for me, too.

Everyone is most appreciative.

-François?
-Yes? Excuse me…

-By all means.
-I must say hello to everyone.

Wait for me here.

-You're here?
-Yes.

You'll never guess what just happened.

Ladies and gentlemen…

Mme Dodelin,
forgive me for interrupting your evening.

I was told the public prosecutor was here,

in addition to Mr. Noiriet and Dr Lambert.

That's correct.

Well, gentlemen,
your three houses have just been burgled.

-What?
-Burgled?

That's impossible.

That bastard Marquis, doing this to me!

Your safe, Mr. Prosecutor,
forced open and emptied.

I had a million in cash in my desk.

Broken wide open.

My house has been burgled?

Can you believe it?
What's the world coming to?

-Gentlemen, come with me.
-Forgive me if I leave straight away.

-It's only natural, think nothing of it.
-I'm terribly sorry.

Marguerite, fetch the gentlemen's coats.

You look more upset than anyone.

Not upset, but worried.

You're not leaving?

Sorry, I absolutely must
go home for a moment.

-Promise me you'll come back?
-Yes, I'll come back.

My dear, help me
to save this evening from disaster.

Of course.

-Please don't go!
-Sorry.

-You're not going?
-I just want to call home.

Marquis!

Marquis!

Marquis!

Marquis!

There you are!

You're here!

-Where did you expect me to be?
-My old friend!

You cannot imagine how glad I am
to see your ugly mug!

You gave a fright, such a fright!

Why?

Since I left, three villas in Honfleur
have been burgled.

-And after what you said…
-With my arm?

They even screwed over
your friend Popelin's house!

-The public prosecutor.
-No!

-Yes!
-At last, some good news!

They'll be crowing tomorrow
in Clairvaux, Nîmes, Poissy, Fresnes,

in every jail in France,
where I have so many good friends.

Let's drink to that!

To natural justice!

And now for the news:

The crime world is getting more violent.

Late this afternoon, a well-known
antique dealer on the Left Bank,

Mr. Auguste Lalouette, 60 years old,

was found murdered
in the back-room of his antique shop,

having been shot three times.

The motive was clearly robbery.

The culprits, seemingly familiar
with the antique dealer's habits,

blew open the safe and…

Turn it off!

-Inquiries…
-What's up?

Auguste Lalouette was my fence!

He had all our goods on deposit.
And where are they now?

Now they emptied the safe!

-We're back to square one.
-Damn!

Okay, phone Lucien.

-Tell him I'm on my way.
-You're leaving for Paris?

We haven't a minute to lose.
You stay here. I'll call tomorrow morning.

Miss? Paris number, please.

Please ask Mme de Layrac
to come straight away.

My coat, please.

-A gentleman is asking for you.
-What's happening?

I have to go back to Paris.

Again?

A friend has died unexpectedly.
Please give my apologies to Mme Dodelin.

You're mad, leaving at this time of night.

I'm not doing if for fun, but you see…

Do you understand?

I love you, you know…

-When will you be back?
-As soon as I can.

Yes, like I said.

What a start to the year!

When you think that I managed
to pick up the umbrella

the Marquis left behind
on the battlefield…

-Look.
-It's better than nothing.

With that umbrella,
we can always set up a stall

with all the no-hopers at the flea-market.

Give me a Cognac to take my aspirin with.

An eaudevie would go down better.

Whatever you like.

Lucien, let me tell you something.

Those guys who did for Auguste
were given a tip-off.

Those bastards let us go first.

Here.

I've always said, it's a principle.

You don't nick goods stolen by a pal.

You never do in a receiver,
they're our bankers.

That's what you said to Paluche. Remember?

-The day we…
-Wait…

Paluche?

What are you saying?

Where does his wife work?

Simone?

At the Surboum, as ever.

Okay.

Go and fetch her, bring her back here
for some grilling.

-You don't think Paluche…?
-I don't think anything.

I'm taking your car.

I'm going to drop in on Paluche,
just in passing.

Don't get lost.
You go along the towpath and…

Yes, I know, turn right at the viaduct.

Well, I never,

it's you?

-I'm not disturbing you?
-What do you think?

We were just talking about you.

-Looks like you're having a meeting?
-Sorry.

Won't you have a bite to eat?

I heard on the radio, that fence…

Lalouette.

I remembered that you two
had an idea about that and so…

The best fence in the world.

That's right, we did!

You've a good memory.

We did it ourselves, like grown-ups.

We were about to tell Lucien.

-We never know where to find you, so…
-That's right.

-We just have to split it between us.
-Don't keep me waiting, then.

I'll get the jewellery box.

Here it is!

Bastards! Morons!

You stole from yourselves!
They're our jewels, from Avenue George V…

-Damn!
-Blow me down!

Yes, blow me down!

Come and see the consequences.

Damn, the cops!

Yes, the cops.

Every man for himself!

FISHING HIRE

Look,

this is what we were looking for.

And now for the news…
…introducing new measures to…

Marie-Louise!

Marie-Louise!

Marie-Louise?

I'm sorry, I was looking for Marie-Louise.

She must have gone shopping?

No. My friend Mr. Favrot
gave her time off for the holidays.

I see.

He didn't tell me.

Please, come in.

Allow me to introduce myself,
Henri de Barthieu.

Michèle de Layrac, I'm a friend of…

Mr. Favrot.

-Yes.
-I see.

You're injured?

Yes, a hunting accident.

I asked Armand
to let me stay for a few days.

Is it serious?

No. Well, maybe, yes.

There could be complications.

Without wishing to pry,
have you been here long?

A few days.

You don't get bored, all alone?

I read, I listen to the news…

Forgive me for interrupting your reading.

Not at all.

May I?

-Hello?
-Armand, here.

-Armand?
-Everything okay?

Very well, as you can imagine.

-You've seen no one?
-No-one at all.

-No one.
-Hand him over to me after?

Yes, of course.

Yes, I'm listening to the radio.

Nothing in particular.

Carry on doing that.
I'll be back this evening.

Fine, you can count on me.

I wanted to speak to him!

You mustn't.

I'd rather he didn't know
that you came here and saw me.

-What harm is there in that?
-None.

You know, Armand is a very private person,

rather strange
and jealous of his friendships.

He has whims, you know.

He doesn't really want people
to know that I'm here.

When do you think he'll be back?

When is the funeral taking place?

Funeral? What funeral?

But…

Of course, the funeral!

I don't think he'll attend the funeral.

He'll probably be back this evening.

In that case, it's not too late.

I'll phone around 6 p.m.,
I really need to see him.

See you soon, perhaps?

I won't show you out…

I am… detained.

That's quite all right.

You haven't seen me!

Never!

JEWELS WORTH 4 000 000 STOLEN

Police Chief Leduc said the two criminals
are probably part of a gang.

They are still being questioned.

All the jewels,
apart from a beautiful solitaire,

are in the hands of the police.

And now…

When it comes down to it,

you know nothing about me, and vice versa.

What did you say?

I said, I know nothing about you
and vice versa.

Or hardly anything.

That's funny, I had the same thought
in the car this afternoon.

Don't you think we always know
too much about everything?

It's easier to love
someone you don't know.

There's no love without mystery.

Take this.

-What makes you believe that?
-Experience!

I've had two husbands.

It's true that they died
before we had a chance

to get to know each other.

Good morning, goodnight,
they left before we could split.

The three of us
didn't stick together for long!

When you think about me, what do you say?

"She's nice"?

Better than that.

Or you think "She's pretty"?

I'm quite pretty, am I not?

Better than that.

What does that prove?

I could be a dreadful hussy!

Better than that… No, I'm sorry!

Maybe I smuggle gold bars,

kill people…

Or take part in hold-ups?

It's not that unusual!

Don't let it stop you
pouring the champagne.

You like champagne, don't you?

I like you.

If I found out you took part in a hold-up,

I wouldn't give a damn.

I wouldn't even mention it,

because I'm above all that.

Thank you, Armand.

More!

In wine, there is truth,
as the saying goes.

Then let us drink the truth,

and speak of it no longer!

Talking of which,
do you know the truth game?

No.

We take turns asking each other questions

and the liar has to pay a forfeit.

-How do you know if I'm lying?
-It's easy, you'll see!

-Ask me a question.
-Anything?

-What are you thinking about right now?
-About what I'm going to ask you.

So here's my question.

When you left for Paris
so suddenly last night…

Well?

Did you leave someone in your house?

Answer me, that's my question!

Someone in my house?

In other words, is there someone
in your house right now?

Why are you asking me that?

That's the game.

How should I know?

Armand, don't try to cheat…

Well, yes, it's true…

There is someone there.

You knew?

What harm is there in giving house-room

to a friend injured in a hunting accident?

What's so awful about that?

What are you doing?

I wrote you a letter.

But you can't read it until tomorrow.

Listen to me, Armand.

Anything could happen.

If we were separated for ten years,
I would remember you.

I'd even wait 20 years if I had to.

Twenty years? Why twenty?

For no reason… Just because.

It's just a joke.

REFRIGERATED TRANSPORT

Damn!

The cops!

Don't worry, I'll see who it is!

Don't go down, I'll go!

Armand!

ENTRY TO ESTUARY GALLERY THIS WAY

-Police.
-So I see.

I have a warrant from
the public prosecution department

for the arrest of Mme de Layrac.

What?

You're not serious! Mme de Layrac?

There must be a mistake.

A poor widow!

A poor widow
who poisoned her first two husbands.

Blow me down!

It's not possible, Inspector!

It's impossible,
but it's true, I'm afraid.

But how?

All it took, Mr. Favrot,

was an anonymous letter
for the law to act.

You see, Armand, it was for me.

Leave us, please.

-Mr. Favrot is a friend.
-Yes, I know.

Take some warm clothes with you.
It's cold in prison…

Don't worry, I packed my bag
yesterday afternoon.

Can I at least say goodbye?

Yes, but in our presence.

Your ring.

They'll know you gave it to me
and you can't say where it came from.

You're terrific.

I'm ready, gentlemen.

Gentlemen.

I have the feeling, my dear Favrot,
that you owe us a big favour.

Well, you had a lucky escape!

If I understand correctly,
you were number three?

No, number one!

So the law gave you a reprieve.

Idiot! Stop eating your breakfast.

Honfleur is no longer healthy.

We're leaving.

Armand, you dropped something.

Yes.

Her letter.

What does she say in the letter?

She says she loves me.

She hopes I'll join her soon.

Come on!

I'm sorry.

-Hurry up.
-Ready? Everyone said goodbye?

Go on, in you go!

Bye!

-Careful, in you get.
-Don't misbehave!

Thanks again, Mr. Favrot.

I have two more to send you next time.

And make sure you come back soon!

I hope so.

Favrot, you were right, in Honfleur.

I know everything.

Your friends Maxime and Paluche
have loose tongues.

My men are going to your hotel

to pick up Lucien Bordier
and Serge Guibert, alias the Marquis.

You might get 20 years.

I'd even wait 20 years if I had to.

Twenty years? Why twenty?

For no reason… Just because.

It's just a joke!

I am ready, gentlemen.

Subtitle translation by: Lucie Maguire