Les idoles (1968) - full transcript
We'd especially like to speak with you
at the top of our big super show,
Pop Idols.
Coming up,
the Pop Idols,
Simon,
Charly,
and Gigi,
will answer your questions.
You know, when I'm singing,
I can't see the audience
I see the spotlights,
sometimes a face...
a look, whether it's mean or nice...
I don't really know.
Yes, you don't know... okay.
Your role isn't to know.
But you must feel something.
It's an empty void for you,
the audience. And nothing else?
No... because I'm blinded by the
spotlights. I can't see the audience.
But you love the audience?
...Sure... I love them,
'cause they love me.
Well you know they love you a
lot. So do you love them a lot?
Of course. Since I live for them.
Consumers. Voyeurs.
They're only reflecting what's
out there. That's what they do.
Yeah. There's a bad and a good audience.
- They're bad because...?
- Like a dog eating his vomit back up.
Being an Idol is... it's
being identified with God.
You're young but some people already
consider you the top producer and manager.
To what should we attribute
your so rapid success?
To luck.
To our generation which craves
everything new and dynamic.
A burning desire for...
for rejuvenation...
The "what-you-call-it"
of youth.
That's Idol:
Living the ultimate
Pop hit: Yeah-Yeah-Yeah!
Getting famous with smash hits,
several big big success!es,
That's what it's all about!
The ultimate ideal:
For Idols, their ultimate dream
Is to get photos of themselves
Plastered up on walls everywhere!
That's their ultimate dream!
Isn't that Charly, young man?
Gigi la Folle cannot be far behind!
we've got him completely surrounded, an
enthusiastic audience like this means hits.
Charly and Simon! Gigi la
Folle will show them the way
Sweet Gigi will show us all the way,
Wonder if she's sharing any
anecdotes about her hits!
Charly and Simon, Gigi la
Folle will you them the way!
They're stepping up
onto the giant stage!
Gigi's not far behind!
She's a hit!
That's Idol!
Living the ultimate dream!
Here they are among
us, these giant Stars!
They're glittering!
The Idols
Living the ultimate
Pop hit: Yeah-Yeah-Yeah!
Getting famous with smash hits,
several big big success!es,
They're glittering!
Here he is:
Charly le Surineur!
Whoever's looking for trouble,
Need look no further,
than Charly le Surineur!
He carries his switchblade,
out of sight, in his hands!
Come on friends, don't you forget,
'Cause Charly surely hasn't yet.
From the streets, that's where he came,
And he won't be coming back again.
Come on friends, don't you forget,
'Cause Charly surely hasn't yet.
From the streets, that's where he came,
And he won't be coming back again.
And now, the talented, the
glorious, the charming...
Gigi la Folle. All of
Paris is wild about her!
Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey!
One step behind, one step to the front,
Arms outstretched, undulant.
I step right up and
leap back, retrenchant,
Tarantula, hula, hula, hula, too...
Oh y?-y?, it's such a ball,
That funny dance of Gigi la Folle!
Oh y?-y?, it's such a ball,
That funny dance of Gigi la Folle!
Oh y?-y?, it's such a ball,
That funny dance of Gigi la Folle!
And here, Simon le Magicien,
who's not oblivious, far from it,
to all of your joys and your sorrows,
who understands you,
who loves all of you,
and answers and every
letter you write to him.
He's gone away, no he's here,
Isn't he just lingering there?
Up here, I'm forced to linger,
I'm forced to linger, To my great shame,
Now he's here, now he's not
He's just lingering.
You've got to pull yourself up.
Oh! Just leave the crowd behind,
He's just lingering.
You've got to pull yourself up...
High!
Ladies and gentlemen of the press,
select fans of Gigi, Charly and Simon,
our close associate
and friend, Mr. Camel,
has arranged, as a sneak preview...
in lieu of the usual but a bit
off-putting press conference...
this little get together.
- This little party.
- This little party, then.
Ladies and gentlemen,
representatives of the press,
fans of Gigi, Charly
and Simon, you may...
- Raise your glasses...
- speak freely with your beloved Idols.
Ladies and gentlemen, and
all of our dear young friends,
It's under the banner
of the whole truth,
that we place our latest
musical spectacle... and so
with complete frankness, our Idols
will answer all of your questions.
Is there anyone who would
like to get us started?
- How did Charly get started?
- What a great question!
Charly. Over to you.
Me, Charly, I'm not much of a speaker.
The butter of education was
never spread on my toast.
I'm the son of a worker...
Whose daddy was at the factory,
All the live long day,
Manufacturing aspirin.
But I... of that bread,
I wouldn't eat at all.
Not so much as one crumb.
None of that bread for me, daddy.
That's what I kept telling myself,
At that tender age, when I was twelve.
But, yes, yes, now you'll see,
Just where that wound up taking me.
Yeah!
Come in.
Jean Camel, Youth Advocate, Press Agent,
and Mr. Tourleffete, Artistic
Director for Idol Productions.
- Are you commies?
- Oh, no, Commissioner!
- Some nerve! Alleging that about me.
- Sorry.
- He wasn't asking...
- I'd like to speak.
My windshield has been broken.
- Ah! Oh, oh... an accident!
- Yes, in our opinion,
it must have been a pebble.
- Shut your trap!
- Shut my trap?
About what?
- The windshield!
- Ah!
Did someone get jack your car?
- Yes, to my shame!
- To his shame!
I was driving in my red
Jaguar, the badge of my success,
- Have a seat.
- No, thanks.
I was rolling along when out of nowhere
a pebble was thrown!
Into the windshield.
- I could have defended myself.
- I hope so...
But, then someone stuck me up with
his switchblade and I was overwhelmed.
- I can identify him.
- Imagine what might have happened.
It was an exclusive neighborhood
where this happened to me.
Stay cool!
Let's go!
Shut it!
Hot stuff!
Seems you're so hot,
you're turning pink!
You're burning up!
If I had my switchblade,
I'd give you some vent holes.
Back off! Take your hands off me.
My leather jacket! Don't
act like you're blind.
Why'd you go and do that?
If only I had my switchblade!
Call them off!
Where's the justice in this?
In the punchlines.
But what crime has he committed?
- A car! He'd stolen it!
- So he stole it?
- With which he took a joyride!
- So he took a joyride?
- But what should befall him?
- What should he fall into?
Just a Jaguar that he traded in
for what he'd found dumped
in some remote place.
We'll leave it to him
to say the word here
A red Jaguar
with souped-up custom engine?
He'd get that Jaguar
once he made his switch,
With the 2CV that he'd stolen.
So for my Jaguar, he's
come back with a 2CV?
It's from Micheline!
That's my wife, Commissioner.
- Where could he have dumped it?
- He couldn't have left it in Paris.
They're found there all the time.
A 2CVs,
The top open,
Under a sky, blue,
And I'm rolling.
Inside, happy.
Underneath the stars,
But we're dying,
Quietly,
So, anchors away!
Go ahead and sing! You'll
do it sooner or later.
- Take this gentleman away!
- But no, Commissioner! No!
- Are you in charge? I'm in charge here!
- But no, Commissioner!
Just now, he was only singing that
hit song that everybody's singing.
My card.
Did you see that? I'm trying
to say, the young man here,
trusts me.
"But he trusts me, Commissioner!"
"Idols Productions will
make a role model out of him"
"for the mommies fearful that their kids
have fallen in love with Pop singers."
What are you saying,
Charly? What are you saying?
Well... with that song, they re-educated me,
I'd earn a lot of money, and then I'd have no
reason to become a...a delinquent.
Stop right there! This young man
here is on the wrong side of the law!
As it happens, the law,
that's me. He's stolen a 2CV.
No, Mr. Commissioner,
he didn't steal it.
Sure, Charly. You simply borrowed it.
Yeah. Yes, that's right, friends,
I was borrowing it, I swear.
I'm willing to turn a blind eye, but
I'll hold you responsible for him.
I promise you, Commissioner,
he won't start up again.
Come along, young man.
Pretty soon, you'll be
driving off in a Jaguar.
A Jaguar?
A Jaguar...
The top up,
And me inside,
My switchblade out.
I'm slashing the tires
On every Citro?n 2CVs that passes.
I'm gonna climb,
Climb so high!
And you, Gigi, where were you back then?
Me...
Dear listeners, Mister
Camel, press agent number one
and number one in so much else, will
introduce himself Gigi la Folle's show.
- Over to you, friend.
- Thanks.
Ladies and gentlemen, moments from now,
Gigi la Folle will make her entrance...
and here already, before
that, comes a banner where
one may see the divine in
all her divinity, and here...
What's this? A maypole decked out with
risqu? ribbons like those she dares to wear
and that she passes out, strip
by strip to her screaming fans!
And here's a cart which she seems to
have loaded up with her little shoes!
She must have some magic in
store for us...and I... I...
Look! Over there! Here! She's here! Who?
She's about to take the
stage! Gigi... Gigi...
The one you're all crazy about!
Your Idol...
Gigi la Folle!
Right now, Gigi is going to perform,
it's my pleasure to announce:
"The Seahorse"!
The seahorse thought he'd be real cute.
If he put on some go-go boots!
But a seahorse doesn't have any hooves
So they just won't fit
him, these old shoes.
"No Daddy"! "No Daddy"! "No Daddy"!
So...
by popular demand,
here is my big hit which you all know:
"No, Daddy".
My father told me...
My mother, too,
"No, you cannot marry that young man."
But I love him!
I come to life when I see him.
How he smiled,
At what I told him.
My father told me...
My mother, too,
"You must marry this gentleman."
"He's nice and respectable."
But no, daddy!
I won't marry him!
That old bastard,
He ain't no good.
But no, daddy!
I won't marry him!
That old bastard.
He can't make love.
And now,
I'd like to thank my dear lyricists.
Thanks to you, good songwriters,
who write for us idiots our words.
Sure. It's true... that only
due to the idiotic noises
our voices make that they prosper.
But that's only money!
That won't buy happiness!
But it sure makes an Idol!
Now friends,
I'd very much like to tell
you about my childhood,
...about my family, about my grandpa.
about my grandma, about mommy,
and about my daddy!
One, two...
One, two, three, four...
Je n'ai jamais aim? m?m? She
never ever grabbed me, granny!
Daddy is in the dumps!
With grumpy, grumpy, granny.
Ever since poppy got stuck in his trunk,
His one eye naked in the wind,
She never ever grabbed me, granny!
And pops never popped for daddy.
But, but... Granny! He pops me...?
My how pops' one eye seeped!
It made daddy so worried...
He had granny's nose
for a bulging, seeping eye.
She never ever grabbed me, granny!
Poppy never popped for daddy.
But, but... Granny! He pops for me...?
Who got stuck in his trunk
With one eye gaping in the wind?
And while daddy wept,
Granny, who had no heart,
Taught mommy a lesson.
By constantly insinuating
That daddy was a rat!
The dirtiest and filthiest rat!
She even persuaded me
to stick myself in the trunk.
I crammed myself in with gramps!
And then granny took some photographs.
And when they were ready, she cried out:
Oh! Daddy, daddy, daddy? Pops!
I saw his bulging eye seeping!
And daddy began to howl with rage!
And when he came to,
After about an hour,
He gave me such a pounding
And mommy laughed and
laughed and laughed.
And daddy yelled and yelled and yelled.
Oh poppy, if only you could've seen it,
If only you could've seen it...
How satisfying would that have been...
To see your son make boom-boom
On the fanny of your little girl?
My little Heloise...
No! It's not Heloise.
It's Gigi plain and simple.
Gigi, listen to what we're
saying to you, please.
Your latest song is
quite simply obscene.
- "Obscene", please...
- I know what I'm saying!
Obscene, absurd, and awkward!
Family, Gigi. Family.
That's the Idol's market.
And you've ridiculed them.
The granny is presented
as an old sadist!
- Manouche!
- I know what I'm saying!
The grandpa's a stiff
and the dad's a zero!
And the mommy,
while demure, nonetheless,
laughs while the daddy's
spanking the little girl.
The song's not very
moral. It's true, Gigi.
It was completely ridiculous...
and insulting.
You don't insult the
audience that feeds you!
- You give a little thought for your belly at least!
- Manouche!
We need to talk about Charly.
He has a conference tomorrow.
Right now, this is about Gigi.
Never mind Charly, please.
Oh, I don't mind. You can
talk about Charly if you want.
Watch it, Gigi.
- Watch it!
- The number of letters I received after my last special
surpassed those of the preceding month.
- Is that true?
- That's right. I checked.
Yes, even more.
I'm always the last to be told...
Well, we need to talk about
Charly and tomorrow's conference!
Oh, you and your 'tomorrow's
conference' all the time!
Come. We should take our seats.
You all know our dear
collaborator and friend,
Mister Camel, our press agent,
to whom falls the honor of presenting
our new star.
Charly le Surineur...
who, there's little doubt,
will shortly be an Idol.
I'd like to begin, if I may,
by providing you with a
definition of the Idol.
The Idol is the embodiment
in a single individual
of aspirations for the success others have
that we have no chance of achieving, ever!
It's the jackpot, the clear victory,
the living proof that
anybody can be somebody
Well... just as some
professor might put it:
"If anybody can be somebody,
as soon as he's somebody,
he's no longer anybody!"
Once the Idol has acquired fame,
he must behave
and talk like anybody would
imagine he would behave
if he had been a success.
The Idol always does exactly
what the public expects him to do.
But enough theory,
let's move on to practice.
"How to attract
public sympathy?"
Here we have a film
segment showing Charly
mingling with his youth
audience, unassuming... authentic,
asking him to talk about his childhood.
If you would...
Hello, my...
my friends.
My life...
it's no better than yours is.
It's just that...
I've had some luck.
Luck, in our business
it counts for a lot.
I'm a workers' son.
My mother was a seamstress
and my father was ill.
And me...
in the streets!
The school of hard knocks.
That's where I learned to play
some guitar and the switchblade!
The knife.
That's how I got my last
name, Charly le Surineur.
I never offed a punk,
By which I mean to say...
I never killed anyone.
But anyway, I'd have turned out bad,
if Idols Productions
hadn't taken charge...
of my education.
Perfect!
In this TV spot for a general audience,
Charly employs only everyday
words and a pinch of slang
which he never fails to translate.
His position as a star, ensures him
entr?e to cosmo society functions,
...and by cosmo, I mean aristocratic.
So, using a vocabulary that is dignified
and distinguished recommends itself.
Second lesson: "Vocabulary".
If you would.
It's better to say
"a vehicle" than "a car",
"affliction" than "pain",
"instantaneously" than "suddenly",
"circumspect" than "careful",
"draw" than "pull",
"indentured" than "bilateral",
"crimson" than "red".
That went well.
That went really, really
well. Now, you are a gentleman.
Yeah, yeah! I know.
Now, I am a gentleman!
Wisdom flows from my mouth.
I know one doesn't doff a chick.
One undresses a respectable lady
because that makes it pleasant for her.
And the older and richer she
is, the more beautiful she is!
And don't forget, take her
jewels as quietly as you can.
One doesn't say gigolo, but playboy.
not "hustler", but "youth idol"!
Those are bitter words, Charly.
Bitterness doesn't become a hit.
A hit, Charly! Huh? A hit.
Yeah, yeah. I know, I know...
"Try to be agreeable!
Make yourself agreeable!
"The more agreeable you are,
the more money you'll earn,
and the more money you earn,
the more loved you'll be."
Being loved, that's agreeable. That
earns a lot of money, doesn't it?
For a fag, sure!
Make him shut up!
Charly!
Think of the money we've spent on you
and also why you're here. Why?
To reminisce about the important
milestones in your life,
which have made an Idol
out of you and your songs.
Instead of that, Charly,
you present us with the spectacle
of an embittered young man:
disillusioned with a life
that hasn't been complete.
Well you've succeeded in that, Charly.
That's right! "Success"!
Think of those who have failed.
Of those who have fallen
from the top, Charly. The top!
Simon,
you, whom the trials of
life have so severely judged,
tell Charly what it
means to be a failure.
- Simon!
Simon, the readers of "Paris Dimanche"
want to know why it
hasn't worked out for you.
Between us, Simon, the
public has given up on you.
I read here
that you've only sold 350
copies of your latest record,
down from 1,200,000 for the last one.
I don't get it.
Am I obsolete?
Obsolete?
Not at all.
Not at all.
I used to be
the uncontested champion of
the international hit-parade.
"Simon le Magicien" fan clubs
were springing up in every town.
Hundreds of thousands of letters
poured in each day
to my post office box.
There's nothing I
haven't done to succeed.
Believe me, I spared no pains.
I had just been studying
applied photogenics
when I applied.
And I'd become the leader in the field
of the disciple of Living Expression.
In my poses,
I could embody
all the expressions that the public
expects from an Idol
at the height of fame.
I don't get it.
I don't get it!
I don't get it!
I was the uncontested champion
of the international hit-parade!
"Simon le Magicien" fan clubs
started up in every town!
Hundreds of thousands...
thousands of letters
poured each day into my P.O. box.
There's nothing I wouldn't
have done to succeed!
I'd just been studying
applied photogenics
when I applied
and I'd become the leader in the field
of the discipline of Living Expression!
In my poses, I could embody
all of the expressions
that the public expects from
an Idol at the height of fame!
The modest guy.
Mr. Big Stuff, full of himself.
The appreciative guy.
The disgusted guy.
The mystic guy,
but an extrovert.
The enthusiastic guy,
but who's farsighted
The sporty guy,
but thoughtful.
The guy who drinks red wine...
The one who drinks tea...
Le gars ? qui on la fait pas...
The good guy,
Content...
Loyal...
Clean.
Healthy.
Educated.
Worried.
The arty guy,
but he's polite.
Sentimental...
Chaste.
Pleasant...
Joker...
Distinguished...
Charitable...
Thrifty...
Candid...
Happy...
Blissful...
I succeeded even
in refining the most varied expressions,
the most...
contradictory.
For example, the guy who's at
once arty, sporty, educated...
appreciative, mystic,
chaste, proper, legit...
All of the publicity photos
captured, Simon, your...
inexhaustible inventory of varied poses.
Yes.
I had photos in all the papers.
So what. Nobody reads the papers.
There. That's why I'm not better known.
That's true, Simon.
Television has taken our readers away.
So. It's because I'm not telegenic.
Oh, no, Simon.
You fill the small screen magnificently.
And my horoscopes?
They were wild about my horoscopes.
They wrote from all
over the world for them.
I had it all.
Plain and simple, I
could have had it all.
Plip, plop. Where'd that come from?
The whole audience is knackered.
Well here it is: the clog in the drain.
Plip, plop, fizz, plip,
Plip, plop, plip...
It's a truism: the public
is fickle, ungrateful.
But tell me, which was
your greatest hit of all?
My greatest hit of all...
must have been "Come into My Heart".
800000 discs sold in three weeks.
Come along into my heart,
And pick a flower there,
You'll find the scent
Of my past inside.
Four days to wait.
Sleepless nights, all the way.
You were my roof... my shelter.
My life, my magic life.
But when it came, the beautiful day,
To say, "Yes," to the Priest,
My daddy and my mommy would be there.
To open up their arms... out to here
Those were eight verses that
millions of people sang along to.
I was the King...
God.
The Idol. The Number One.
- You need more ice?
- Yes, if you would.
I even published my memoirs
in your paper, you may recall.
Yes. I remember them very well.
If I'm not mistaken, Simon,
before you were an Idol,
you were a clairvoyant psychic.
Yes. I could read the future
in cards and coffee grounds.
But my specialty was the rotten egg.
I'd crack a rotten egg,
and read the future in
the odor it released.
One day, Gigi la Folle,
she was called Heloise back then
and had only had a small d?but
which got released on
45 without much success,
She came and found me.
I'm at your service, miss.
- My name's Heloise.
- Ah.
Sir...
Miss?
I've been waiting
for such a long time
at the bottom of the stairs
leading to the tower of success.
I want to see.
So... when you peer
into the coffee grounds
or into your crystal ball,
shall my destiny ultimately attain
the lofty heights of my ambitions?
It's hell, being on earth.
while the pop stars
sparkle in the sky...
My specialty is
the rotten egg, cracked
to release its odor
which my extrasensory nose
deciphers, communicating to my brain
which, falling into a trance,
reveals at last a clear
vision of the future.
Here's an egg
which was born when I was.
If I crack this egg.,
I'll see your whole life inside,
and you'll no longer have a future.
You'll be without a destiny!
You'll simply no longer live.
You will have accomplished
all that I will have revealed.
I must know!
Your life belongs to you. Okay.
I'm cracking it...
The egg!
- It's sheer madness!
- I am "Folle"!
But...
But what, I ask you, is my life worth?
In exchange for a little success?
No. I'm asking you for nothing.
Yeah... yeah... I can feel it!
Come on! Yeah. I'll take success
and leave my life to you!
By leaving your life to me,
you've condemned me to
die the day of your death!
Only the dead can lead the
dead into the realm of the dead.
I don't want... I don't
want to drag you down...!
You've been playing with
fire, which knows just one law:
To burn!
I've been waiting...
for such a long time!
At the bottom of the steps,
which mount the tower of success!
She was "folle" as a
hatter, little Heloise.
She succumbed to ideas, funny ideas,
about life and death...
and about me.
I suggested her name to her.
Gigi la Folle is a pretty name.
And since it could contribute
to my renown, I'll take it.
And you're to thank.
And I thank you.
Sorry, I don't have any money.
I don't have any money.
In the meantime,
I could pay you with a service,
which I will render you.
Listen...
- I sing myself, too. A little bit...
- Well. That's great.
And... if you could, since
you're maneuvering through it,
if you could...
Oh! Consider it done!
We're listening.
Rolling!
We became such good friends...
That we were holding hands.
And truly joyous, Towards
tomorrow we rushed,
We never bothered along the way,
With what other people would say,
And young girl,
We're such good friends,
Oh yeah? A bit, fine,
"What's yours is mine."
Let's treat each other this way,
Treating night like it was day.
And enjoying it all the way,
Like tomorrow is today,
We're such good friends,
We shall always be...
The world's full of tomorrows,
We are so young,
Full of enthusiasm,
We love our parents,
With all of our hearts.
This thing needs to go
out to all the stations.
Monsieur, we're signing you.
You'll go far with this song.
There... there are more verses...
Don't you want to hear them?
- Such good frien...
- You've been signed!
- Hold on. Come on. Okay, you'll see...
- We're such good friends...
- But you've been signed!
I've been signed? Ah!
It became a big hit.
Yes. 1,200,000 records sold
A fortune, in one month.
Spent as quickly...
- You owe a lot to Gigi la Folle, Simon.
- An enormous amount.
But doesn't she? You gave her
the name that made her a hit.
I recognized that.
The proof: he's the one I chose
to be witness at my marriage.
Ah... the marriage of Gigi...
and Charly...
They're young to have made it so fast.
Angelo's father is very rich.
Idols' Productions is
a very large concern.
Real fortunes aren't made so quickly.
- We'll see...
- I'm tired. Tired of...
Ah... the cocktails!
Every Friday, it's horrible. I give up.
- But where is the young couple?
I haven't seen Angelo Laffitte
today? What's going on?
Oh, no, no. Angelo has gone.
He's in the middle of planning a
summer tour for Gigi and Charly.
- Already?
- They owe it to their audience.
The poor kids. Let them relax a little.
But... how about some
photographs... uh...
- over by the pool... I don't know...
- Photographs?
a little undressed or something...
- Oh, no. No, I don't think so.
- Oh? Oh...
I think not. We could organize something
if you want in the coming days, but
- today is the wedding and...
- Yeah, right. Right, yeah.
It's a little hard, I understand,
a little hard, you think.
Oh look! Look!
That's Abbot Vincent arriving.
And I bless, with great pleasure, these
children who are successful children
and who hold dear the rites
and morals of Christian simplicity.
The angels... Don't they
express themselves in song?
And even if the rhythm today is more...
how should I put it, more...
Y?-y?
than God has endowed them with:
he's made other arrangements.
Myself, I've never hesitated
to blast my parish with a little wind...
I can carry quite a tune.
All for the glory of God
and His works. May it be so.
And...
Here we are today with two of the most
prestigious children of popular songs,
to unite them before God for life.
I'd be remiss not to remind you,
in what esteem the church
holds the popular songs,
as long as it knows how
to stay within the bounds
of decency, of healthy pleasure,
and respectable distraction.
Oh! Sister Hilarity is here!
Well, what a surprise!
Dear sister, what a pleasure!
My Lord Abbot, you do me an honor.
Dear sister, I'm pleased to see you.
- The Abbot himself said so.
- It's an honor to have you with us today.
How many copies have you
sold of your last record?
- 2,300,000 copies, Father.
- Oh. That's just beautiful. That's just fine.
That's just beautiful,
just fine, isn't it?
- Noteworthy!
- Noteworthy!
Would you do us the honor
of singing your latest hit?
Oh, Madame...
I don't know if I should.
But yes! But yes, but yes. But yes.
Well, in that case, Lord Abbot...
O God, look after Your children,
May they be content
To sing Your praises.
Strike up the angels' hymn:
Glory to God, in Highest Heaven!
Hallelujah! God, amongst us, everywhere.
O God, in Your armies,
We go out to fight impieties,
And make rule over all France
Faith, Charity, Hope
Glory to God, in Highest Heaven!
Hallelujah! God, amongst us, everywhere.
O God, bless these children
Who shall owe to You both
their joys and their torments
Bless the sons who will be born
From their legitimate union!
Glory to God, in Highest Heaven!
Hallelujah! God, amongst us, everywhere.
Glory to God, in Highest Heaven!
Hallelujah! God, amongst us, everywhere.
Glory to God, in Highest Heaven!
Hallelujah! God, amongst us, everywhere.
Everything there's
going very well. Perfect!
But we have learned the winners
of the big radio contest...
- "The Best Families in France".
- ...who have won the right
to present their questions
to Gigi, Charly and Simon.
And without much risk of being mistaken,
I can confirm that they're here
to interview their dear Idols.
Without further delay,
Fans of Pop Idol, over to you!
Gigi,
what do you think of your marriage?
Well, my friends, let me
Tell you about that: marriage.
It's a beautiful book,
Full of blank pages,
To write upon for the
length of his days.
Charly said so. Yes. He
can tell you about it, too.
I'd like that. Yes. I've sworn To
do that for as long as I'm living.
My charming and my so sweet Gigi.
This marriage fulfills our vows,
We're going to live happily.
Charly, did you wear a black jacket?
I may be rich now, but...
I don't forget about my past.
Gigi? How old are you?
My life begins today with Charly!
Simon? Do the three of you
get along well together?
We're friends, yeah.
Gigi? Do you want children?
Yes!
a boy and after that a girl and after that
a boy again and after that a girl again.
Charly!
Do you prefer Coca-Cola?
Coca-Cola? Sure, it's good..
Charly, as an athlete, what do
you think of racing cyclists?
They're pedaling.
Gigi, are you happy?
Oh yes! Because Charly?s gonna to get
me an Alfa Romeo, a diamond necklace,
and a bouquet of violets.
- Charly? When will you do your military service?
- Never!
Oh, but you've misunderstood, Charly!
You were only asked "when"
you'll do your military service.
Never.
Wha...?
Angelo? John? What is this?
Charly has always said yes...
That he'd been thrown out... that he'd
burned... to do...his military service.
No. That's not true.
- Do something, quick!
- I'll save face. I'll save face.
Charly,
my son,
come to your senses.
Your military service, you must do it...
- No!
- when the time comes!
For the moment, you're
concerned about your marriage.
to Gigi, whom you
love and who loves you.
With Gigi whom I love and who loves me.
The truth, friends?
The truth! The truth!
- The truth, Gigi?
- The truth, Charly.
The truth is that our managers
arranged for us to get married.
- That's not true.
- Not true?
"Gigi and Charly, you've
got to get married,
and fast!"
For publicity, have you forgotten?
"Your marriage will save our business."
"A beautiful wedding, Gigi. All
of Paris will come to admire you."
"There'll be radio,
papers, television there!"
We obeyed and we got married.
But that evening, once we were
alone in our honeymoon suite...
Tell me, Charly...
you and me,
in the same bed?
In bed together?
As lovers?
Well that's one game that I don't want
to play. I don't want to, I don't want to!
Uh huh, what you want...
Here's what you want.
What I want..., I want... fuck you,
if that's what you want me to do.
You're scared stiff you
won't be able to handle me.
That dress
that you're wrapped up in,
gives me the right to throw
you on the bed and take you,
if you keep pushing!
- If you want?
- And I can!
- You're a dog!
- I'll knock you out if you resist!
- Bite your lips!
- The lowest of the low!
And splatter your blood
all over your white dress!
- Charly! I don't love you!
- Me neither!
I hate you!
- Strip!
- Never.
But... but you're the wife, Gigi,
Assume your position on this bed.
You've only got to undress.
This is our wedding night
and we'll get through
it, with hatred or love.
I'll rip it off you.
We fucked.
Show the whole family, all
our friends, the dirty sheets,
- the ripped dress and our puffy eyes.
- But we have no family or friends!
- What?
- But we do!
Friends! More friends!
in the papers, the magazines,
and the cinemas, all expecting
and eager to read in our
smiles, happiness, our good luck!
- Good luck!
- Happiness!
- Happiness!
- Good luck!
- Good luck!
- Happiness! Good luck!
Adieu,
happiness.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes, my Gigi.
And now think about your boyfriend,
while you give yourself to your husband!
Charly! Charly!
You boor!
I don't want to see you! I'd rather die!
Rather than suffer upon myself
the burden of your base needs!
Ah...
That's right. I forgot.
You're... you're refined, huh?
You like... you like foreplay.
I've shocked your fine delicateness.
Well forgive me. Forgive me, Gigi.
But I have
I have some delicate manners, too.
So know this! That it's not
the burden of my base needs
that will fall onto you,
but your charm working on me,
stirring up in me insane
desires, against nature
to possess the woman I've married.
- But you're not in love!
- And who doesn't love me.
Charly...
Charly... Charly...
This is intolerably provocative!
- You need to sit down!
- We are hereby
married, indeed!
Behold!
The veritable marriage ceremony
of Gigi and Charly.
I see it cracking, falling
from heaven upon me...
who am no longer myself!
I want you to worship each other.
and to be Gods.
We consecrate...
In this, there's the sound
Of Reason
Since Reason is necessary.
It will set you straight.
This is your fault! This was your idea.
It was my idea and you
approved it, didn't you?
We've got to do something. Make
an announcement. Something...
Pull yourself together!
Excuse me? Paris Express?
- Do you think there'll be a scandal?
- Explain yourselves!
- Simon, it's suicide!
- Explain yourself! You owe us!
Over here! Charly, I'd like to see you.
- How much do you earn?
- Have you become a militant?
- What are your demands?
- Are you communists? Red Army?
Will you agree to answer our questions?
We have no comment.
I know nothing.
- You won't agree to answer questions
- Yes. Yes.
I think Charly owes us an
explanation for all this.
And why haven't you done
your military service?
My military service?
This is charming. Delightful.
It's really very nice.
Indeed. Very relaxing.
We would have prepared
a hearty home cooked meal
but given the time, it
would have been rushed.
Oh, Madame, it's really unnecessary
to follow military protocol today.
Everyone's heads have been stuffed
with such extravagant ideas,
such stupidities.
Mr. Chief of Staff
mind you that we've always
tried to do our very best.
Yes, I... I know that.
Mr. Chief of Staff of
the Defense Ministry,
on the topic of our Charly...
Oh, no. Surely you understand,
the Ministry deems this immoral:
that this young man should dodge
his compulsory military service,
a duty he owes to his country.
To be lenient in a case like this one
would have a disastrous effect
on the morale of our tender youth.
But Mr. Chief of Staff, we're
only suggesting a leave of absence:
A simple leave of absence for one year.
Yes. We've spent so much
money. Money, so much money.
My husband's trying to say that
the investments that were made
to launch Charly?s career have required
us to make considerable sacrifices.
Suspending his career right now
would mean financial disaster
that would be extremely
difficult for us to recover from.
You must understand that
our annual contributions
to the fund for the upkeep of the
Disabled Officers' Administration
could be severely compromised.
Yes. There's a beautiful pool
here. You're right. A nice yard...
Well. Let's say that Charly
were to leave for one year,
maybe for two years, on tour, abroad,
In that case,
well in that case, it would
be in the country's interest,
even from a cultural point of view.
The Defense Ministry
appreciates that this would
involve a higher interest.
And given such an eventuality,
the reform envisaged,
well, I would no longer see any
utility in those sanctions...
I agree. But...
Well, a tour, that would cost a lot.
It's either profitable or it's not.
Oh, yes. But, Madame, you'd
surely receive a grant.
I can only envision making such
an arrangement under those terms.
Under the circumstances...
For Mr. Chief of Staff,
a sip of champagne.
Oh. Thank you but I... actually I'm
a bit allergic. I'd prefer some beer.
- I object! This is a gross distortion!
- It's the precise truth!
We're going to contact our attorneys!
- About what?
- We will not be defamed!
Simon, talk to us about your
hits, when you had a number one.
The number one.
Do you have any stories? Memories?
Was there just one girl
in your life? Girls?
One girl.
Yeah... a girl...
You'll embrace me.
You'll embrace me.
Because I am the king.
Because I am the king.
The Idols!
The Idols!
I've sung that old song so
much, I'm getting sick of it.
You just sing it and
thousands of girls cry for joy.
They do that for you, Simon!
You're the Magus! Our Mandrake!
The knight who conquers our hearts!
Our all! You own our all.
And me... the president of
the Simon le Magicien fan club.
Starting today, I'm
devoting myself to you.
For life!
Life?
Simon?
Know what?
I do, too! I sing!
Listen.
By midweek, it seems full of life!
But me, I'm full of midweek melancholy!
Before you were married,
when did you get engaged?
A long time ago.
Tell us how you got engaged.
Why did you get engaged?
It was a time when
everything was going smoothly
for Gigi...
and for me.
This month, your sales were at least
38704 records down from
Charly?s last 33 LP.
and 38700 records at least
from Gigi's last 45 single.
Sales of Gigi and Charly
records have plummeted.
We can't possibly support you
with this kind of track record.
The declining sales in
new records by Pop Stars
require us to reconsider our investment
Whatever sacrifices we may have to
make are ours to decide and not yours.
You'll know by tomorrow our decision.
Gigi? Where are you?
A come back will probably
take a little while for you.
But things will pick up for you.
And pick up good!
Beautiful...
Charlie...
Come here, I've told you,
come and sit down here.
Come one.
Gigi, come over here, closer to me.
Come on. Over here.
You see...
It would be very painful for
me to be separated from you.
I appreciate you.
I sympathize
out of friendship for you.
You're so young.
You're a child.
Micheline, is like a mother, and
me, I've already got a mother.
I've had enough of being a
child. I'm no longer a child.
You have a scent...
your skin,
sweet, like a child's.
And the look, desire,
and strength of a man.
- Only my craft interests me.
- Exactly, Charly! Exactly!
I'm a man. Right, Gigi.
Right? Gigi? I'm a man!
Gigi,
I'm a man, right?
Charly!
It's all up to you.
Maybe you are that darling child
who needs to be looked after,
who needs to be pushed
to heights, higher...
and higher than mere hits!
A triumph!
The biggest international tours, Charly!
Both Americas,
China, Japan!
Montevideo...
But you're dreaming.
You must not realize that
the mere scent of a flower
makes me nauseous.
Well...
you know me now.
all of this...
Ciao.
Ciao, Mr. Laffitte.
Ciao.
Gigi!
I'm begging you!
Oh, Madame!
Me, Madame?
The fairies, at my birth,
gave me a certain egg
which contains my future.
I'm going to go ahead
and crack it!
And take the stench to Simon, my friend,
who will read my fortune.
I'd better hit it...
Ciao, Madame.
Charlie!
Ciao.
Yes?
Hello? Micheline. I've had an idea.
I know. I've had the same one.
You've waited long enough.
So now without further delay...
The two number ones on the chart...
Both number one on the Pop charts...
Two as one!
The super-talents of Pop Music
are going to sing
their number one number!
Here's the number one dance of the USA
It's danced and it's danced,
It's danced like this.
Ladies had better take off your shoes.
Gentlemen, I'm begging
you, take off your shoes.
On one foot, you jump like so...
And then on the other and both at once.
Mister, you'd better slip it in.
Mrs. had better jump on her man.
Mr. Ducheval, that's one woman!
Mrs. Bouclier, on the attack!
Mrs., could you get down on your knees.
Mister, would you also do the same?
Mrs., you want to dance the
tango, but Mr. wants to show off.
Now that you're starting to dance,
These are only the first steps,
Of the number one dance
of the USA!
Mister, go ahead and take the broom!
As long as the Mrs. will hand it over.
Missus, you chased mister
into bed with your friend.
Where you found him! Oh yeah!
Oh yeah! Y?-y?...
Gents in the house, stand up!
Go ahead and shake it!
Ladies, take him in your hands!
Help the gentlemen feel good.
Better than good. Oh, yeah! Yeah!
Mrs., would you please go on with it?
On Mister's whacker drop a smacker,
Mister, you're awfully ticklish.
Crying out for God, "Oh my God!"
What you came to see today,
Was the number one dance of the USA
For sale in France, in Paris,
- High end boutique of the United States.
- Oh yeah!
This has been an ORTF
French radio broadcast.
The latest song from the Pop Fianc?s
has become the most colossal
hit recorded to date.
However, this spectacular success
cannot have come without
producing a disastrous decline
for the singles of certain pop stars.
Simon, you're good for nothing.
It's over.
Your fan club members aren't
going to their meetings any more.
Your photo has disappeared
from above their beds.
They're dreaming about Charly.
"Charly and Gigi? Will they get married?
"What a crazy couple! Super cool!"
That's what they're saying.
"The extremely sensitive Gigi
"may be about to learn
some of life's hard lessons.
"Charly, they say, likes
to have play around."
It's true.
It's true!
It's true!
Me...
If Charly asked me to marry him,
even if I happened to
be engaged to another,
I'd tell the other
one, "Forget about me!"
"My calling is elsewhere!"
"Forget about me!"
You want me to forget
about you, is that right?
You're dreaming about Charly,
but...
Poor darling,
you're forgetting about Gigi.
Then it's true?
Gigi and Charly love each other?
Do they love each other?
Idols idolize themselves.
That's just beautiful...
Just beautiful.
That's a wonderful story.
It's a fairy tale!
I know what I'm going to do!
Where are you going?
I'm going to found a fan
club for the Pop Newlyweds!
"And the wheel that lifts
one up crushes the other one,
"and goes along its way,
"and we, who are left behind,
hung out to dry or crushed,
"we go on about our way
in unspeakable anguish."
Marguerite,
Genevi?ve...
Poor Nyasse.
I'm alone...
To my despair.
Alone.
Alone.
Alone.
I have no more friends, I am alone.
They say that I'm finished.
Finished!
Okay then, I'd better get finished.
Without any hope, So dark is my life.
Is there someone here
who understands me?
No one!
No one
Is there someone here
who understands me?
Without any hope, So dark is my life.
She left me that same morning.
She left me,
The only one I loved.
Now I'm loved by no one.
Here I stand, abandoned.
They sure are pretty, your words!
He making something up
on the spot, improvising.
I tried so hard,
My eyes were filled with tears.
I was crying so much that I lost my love
and I found myself empty
So I'm going, going...
Too literary for the masses.
I'm getting cold, very cold
Who among you, who would,
in your arms, wrap me up?
and offer some consoling words to me?
I'd have put it in
verse. That's more moving.
Ridiculous. This can't be spontaneous!
But it works!
Not at all. The hall's gone cold as ice!
Friends... Life!
Life!
Life!
- Arms in the air!
- Come back to life!
Come along now, friends, Be cool...
and clap your hands!
Play along now, friends,
Be cool and clap your hands!
Nothing can be done.
He's finished.
Come along now, friends,
Be cool and clap your hands!
Come along now, friends,
Be cool and clap your hands!
- All right, then. Enough is enough!
- The situation can be handled!
Falling from so high.
That it wasn't enough for me
to break my back, to be crushed
As shall be crushed,
all the men who've fallen
Who have fallen or shall fall
Charly, since you're not
in love, Gigi and you,
why can't you just stay friends?
You're only engaged,
so why are you getting married?
Why bother to get married?
Why?
Well...
Gigi and Charly have been
engaged for several months
and our readers and myself besides are
asking when they're going to get married.
But Mr. Pecuchet, the "Pop Fianc?s"
is little more than a publicity label.
A publicity label?
Yes and no.
Yes?
A headline in which...
No, no. No, no, no. I am L?on Pecuchet.
The Parisian column is not a trash bag.
No, not a line.
We simply came up together
with a catchword... A brand.
Yes. Yes, we'll see.
We came up with
a scheme:
to transform into a single couple
these two pop stars, who separately,
were beginning to decline.
And...
so you hooked them up.
Hooked them up! Hooked them up
to an audience, to Pop Music!
Off the record, it
can be disclosed that,
let's just say, they
don't get along very well.
When I inform my readers that
Gigi and Charly only got engaged
for publicity purposes and
they actually hate each other...
They're not in love. They're a little...
Mr. Pecuchet,
if you write that, you know
very well, we'd be ruined.
My job is to inform, Madame. That's all.
Yes or no? Are Gigi and
Charly going to get married?
- They're not in love.
- They're not right for each other.
It's just a question of what?
A hundred times a hundred
per head each night? Have I guess right?
We've invested too much time in this
affair to allow it to fall apart.
- Mr. Pecuchet...
- There are other interests at stake.
I have a letter here from
a Mister Antonin Biffard,
a Lille industrialist,
who has paid you 30 million
for the right to manufacture Gigi and
Charly dolls in wedding costumes for us.
That's your loss.
The price will be their future.
If the Pop Fianc?s don't get married,
then 4 million dolls already dressed up in
wedding clothes will remain on our hands.
Well... I recall that
Mr. Biffard has always
been friendly to our paper.
Evidently, Charly and Gigi's marriage
would breathe new life into their careers.
If they get married, all of your
competitors will be easily acquired.
But Charly and Gigi
will never accept this!
I assure you that they will accept it!
They'll get married.
I promise you that, Mr. Pecuchet.
So does that mean...
I knew that wisdom
would ultimately prevail.
Mr. Pecuchet, our Simon,
actually, isn't very strong.
Couldn't you...
That's of no interest.
Keep it just in case.
This is defamatory! I demand you
omit those remarks from your column.
- It's disgusting!
- That's exactly what it is, old lady.
- Gigi, talk about life as a newlywed.
- And your private life with Charly.
Will you grow old together?
Or lead a separate life?
To each their own?
To each their own.
And together.
It all depends...
It's the springtime of our lives.
And we smie at all we meet.
Make a springtime complaints.
Fallen on hard times and deep sorrow,
The shops full of vintage junk,
The jewelry,
The marvellous combs.
Everything should be fine.
But their colors will never last,
Go on fucking with my heart.
That stitches it up,
Thanks to them, I've become
A new industry.
Only I haven't become a hit.
Only feebly passing.
The longest, the gloomiest,
The most idle of days.
For me, there's little more to do,
Even when alcohol
Is flowing freely.
To get him to kiss me, I try in vain.
To give some kind of meaning to my life,
Long tomorrows.
Charly...
Do you love me?
No.
Me, neither.
It didn't seem like that
displeased you, at least.
Yeah.
Yeah, since I was fantasizing,
while I was screwing you,
that I was screwing that girl who was
screaming yesterday in the 3rd row.
She had to be thirteen, at least.
And I, Charly,
when you were holding me in your arms,
I saw in your eyes
a man who wanted to
kick me out of his bed...
Close to madness...
Charly...?
You love me?
No.
Me, neither.
Then, Charly, what are we gonna do?
I don't know.
We could...
We could get divorced.
Divorced?
And then, Gigi...
And then,
go away,
each of us on our own...
Go away
on a world tour!
And perhaps,
in an ideal city,
we could meet again.
Aren't you Gigi?
Charly!
How you've changed.
You've got the look of someone lost
who has no more strength
to call for help.
And you...
you look like a poor dog.
A poor, sad dog.
A child, who has lost her childhood.
Thanks, Charly. I kiss your hand.
And I, yours.
And now,
we're going to live
together, the two of us,
however we please,
without getting married!
- Happily! Happily!
- Yeah...
Fuck this prefab,
married-for-life!
And sham vows at the town hall!
- Charly!
- Oh! I'm trapped, Gigi!
But, Charly...
Charly...
someday, we'll love each other, maybe.
Ah...
Someday...
or another.
Or never.
Charly...
Fortune's wheel makes another turn.
Ratings for Gigi and Charly
as a couple are falling.
Everything's gone south.
So now, "The Poor Idols' Lament".
Hear this lament, Let's
hear it, beloved audience
Of Charly and Gigi.
By all of you, abandoned!
Charly le Surineur,
solo, Was so renowned,
The same goes for Gigi la Folle.
Once she?d had a real name.
Then one day, Fortune abandoned them.
They didn't lose heart,
They united their voices,
They got engaged and became
the young Pop Newlyweds.
They became the nation's
number one Idols.
Once you're on the right track,
you'd better hold on tight.
Because Fortune, As everybody knows,
Has got just one wheel.
Has got just one wheel.
Gigi,
by opening up her multicolored
umbrella in the scene
has brought misfortune
raining down on our heads.
Just so, Rosine,
"whoever opens an umbrella
is asking for rain."
And "days of plenty are
followed by days of scarcity."
So much money was involved...
And all lost!
And where did it go?!
Into whose pockets?
We still have, all the same,
a nice bank account anyway.
And money needs to be
constantly risked in this game...
which isn't very conducive to
the wellbeing of the gambler!
But I always said
that there wouldn't be anything left for
us to gamble on if we didn't gamble...
Some professionals, we are!
We take all the risks on our shoulders.
What a job!
The only badge of honor
we get is to honor debt.
We've got to come up with
an idea to drive up business.
Find the ends of the loose threads
that are all tangled up in our hair
and around our necks,
before it drives us crazy!
It's me.
Me. I have the solution.
Whatever you may have, Simon,
you're long dead... finished.
No, Rosine.
No, Micheline.
You were talking about loose threads?
I've got quite a few in my cap
that really need to be pulled out.
Gigi and Charly are
finished. Simon, too. Okay.
But...
Gigi, Charly and Simon...
no.
It's just a matter of
creating a pop trio,
and letting everyone think
that between Gigi and me...
Or even better, that Charly
is jealous for no reason.
Who would believe that but you, Simon?
That you'd be able to take the
place of Charly in Gigi's heart?
They'll believe it...
They'll assume it. They'll imagine it.
And let them think
that I've bewitched her.
I'm Simon le Magicien, aren't I?
Simon! I can tell...
I can tell... You have succeeded?
You convinced them?!
Yes, Marguerite.
Genevi?ve,
poor Nyasse...
Success.
Then at last I'm going to have a hit!
Together, both of us,
we'll rise to the top!
Yes. Yeah, I'm going to
climb so high, this time...
- "We're going..."!
- I'm going...
No.
I...,
poor Nyasse.
But... aren't we
aren't we supposed to be
the new couple in the song
- who're gonna replace Gigi and Charly?
- No. No.
No. You have nothing of what it
takes, poor Nyasse, to be an idol.
Nothing.
But you'll lead Pop Idols' new fan club.
Pol Idols?
Gigi, Charly and Simon.
And Simon is the lover of
Gigi who cheats on her husband.
Simon?
Traitor!
I was the one who pulled
you out of yourself
when you were nothing but a rat,
dragged down in his
misery and his confusion,
not even daring to raise his head
toward the little summit
from whence you'd tumbled!
Stop!
Listen, Genevi?ve. Be reasonable.
Isn't it true that one couple
can't be replaced by another one?
- Stop!
- It's worth thinking about.
- Stop!
- Listen... Fine.
Genevi?ve!
So our story ends,
ladies and gentlemen.
- Shut up.
- She'll be fired, I assure you!
Time will tell.
The Pop Idols, burnt out...
were wiped out even before they existed.
They admit it, ladies and gentlemen!
You are witnesses! It was a sabotage!
Enough. That's enough.
We say goodbye to you,
ladies and gentlemen.
But before sinking into oblivion,
Gigi, Charly and myself,
the following fable, would
like to share with you.
It's called "The 14th of July".
It hasn't got a moral.
On the 14th of July...
Y?-y?!
National!
...holiday...
the General,
stout and long-nosed,
could utter words to make you giggle.
He could stand there on his big feet
with his tiny ears,
saluting a Major who
hadn't been cut in half.
The soldier dies!
Oh! To get a load of that, they've
all come to Champs-?lys?es to watch!
On the 14th of July,
Y?-y?!
National!
...holiday...
Me?
I took my umbrella out into the sunlight
and I went up to the fruit market
to buy one orange.
You know what they
say: It's good for you
to have one every day at breakfast.
And I got lost in a panic!
But just look, you don't say!
There goes the postman!
I'm telling you, a motorbike!
He said to me,
"Climb on behind.
"I'm delivering you to Champs-?lys?es."
So, I told him, finally,
"I don't mind if I do."
And I made
the most beautiful entrance in the
world passing through the Arc du Triomphe
This caused them all
to become so jealous!
They were howling at me like
they wanted to string me up!
Yay! It's the 14th of July!
Y?-y?!
National...!
...holiday...
Yet, behold!
Suddenly, behold!
The luminous,
radiant, blazing,
Y?-y?! Wow, wow, wow!
Charly, Wow, wow, wow!
comes along
to present me his head,
chopped off.
I was
wandering through the airwaves,
where I spied
the monstrous beast and his shadow
whose stirrings
are able to leave you blind drunk,
and whose changing shape is
able to render you a fortune!
Who turns right around
who must be concealed...
from the eyes.
You'd try to get away if you knew how.
What a sight
in the desert of the airwaves.
And who devours
those...
who can't answer the question
that it poses this way:
"What's the harm?"
It's the beast itself.
A monster the likes of which
- can only be passed around.
- Right!
Well, look around!
Just look around.
The monster's on the loose!
He's gonna put on the best
show! On the 14th of July...
Y?-y?! National...!
...holiday...
Well, I could
meet up with you
and present you
my head, chopped off.
It was on the 14th of July
that we first met each other,
And to the music of studded shoes
That hit the pavement in quick step,
while all the kids were dancing!
While we were making out,
worshipping each other,
While we were making love,
That's when all the soldiers
and rifles in France,
They all went AWOL to dance the Waikiki,
And then they ripped off
the medals they'd been given
They're gonna fuck, who
else? Charly de Gaulle!
It was on July 14th that I met you both,
I was wearing my smoking
jacket, my patent leather shoes.
We danced the jerk and
we danced the Waikiki.
We hit the floor without complications,
And I was flirting with you.
Charly suddenly got tired
so we went out together,
We kept on dancing,
We wandered around,
We did all the dance clubs,
We are going to soar
like birds,
over the plains,
seas and oceans...
- And the cities, engulfed in smoke,
- Charly?
We'll go up in smoke,
one with the gods...
we'll talk to them a little
about what happened down there.
- Here!
- Charly?
One needs...
One needs, all the
same, a strong stomach
to live through what we have.
Charly...
- Charly?
- Oh, Gigi...
We will go there.
Yes, later. Both of us.
Go to this little nook
at the end of the world,
where I've prepared a bed,
where I will serve you,
where you'll serve yourself.
But right now, let me go!
Let me go where the bird idly dreams
who's gone up in smoke...
Charly...
Charly...
Charly!
It was...
the 14th of July...
Y?-y?...
National...
holiday...
Eat.
Eat.
An apple?
The fruit of life, just one
bite from which a woman took
to forget
her unfaithful friend.
To forget?
To lose?
To find, too
To find... Simon...
Oh, Simon!
subtitles: depositio
at the top of our big super show,
Pop Idols.
Coming up,
the Pop Idols,
Simon,
Charly,
and Gigi,
will answer your questions.
You know, when I'm singing,
I can't see the audience
I see the spotlights,
sometimes a face...
a look, whether it's mean or nice...
I don't really know.
Yes, you don't know... okay.
Your role isn't to know.
But you must feel something.
It's an empty void for you,
the audience. And nothing else?
No... because I'm blinded by the
spotlights. I can't see the audience.
But you love the audience?
...Sure... I love them,
'cause they love me.
Well you know they love you a
lot. So do you love them a lot?
Of course. Since I live for them.
Consumers. Voyeurs.
They're only reflecting what's
out there. That's what they do.
Yeah. There's a bad and a good audience.
- They're bad because...?
- Like a dog eating his vomit back up.
Being an Idol is... it's
being identified with God.
You're young but some people already
consider you the top producer and manager.
To what should we attribute
your so rapid success?
To luck.
To our generation which craves
everything new and dynamic.
A burning desire for...
for rejuvenation...
The "what-you-call-it"
of youth.
That's Idol:
Living the ultimate
Pop hit: Yeah-Yeah-Yeah!
Getting famous with smash hits,
several big big success!es,
That's what it's all about!
The ultimate ideal:
For Idols, their ultimate dream
Is to get photos of themselves
Plastered up on walls everywhere!
That's their ultimate dream!
Isn't that Charly, young man?
Gigi la Folle cannot be far behind!
we've got him completely surrounded, an
enthusiastic audience like this means hits.
Charly and Simon! Gigi la
Folle will show them the way
Sweet Gigi will show us all the way,
Wonder if she's sharing any
anecdotes about her hits!
Charly and Simon, Gigi la
Folle will you them the way!
They're stepping up
onto the giant stage!
Gigi's not far behind!
She's a hit!
That's Idol!
Living the ultimate dream!
Here they are among
us, these giant Stars!
They're glittering!
The Idols
Living the ultimate
Pop hit: Yeah-Yeah-Yeah!
Getting famous with smash hits,
several big big success!es,
They're glittering!
Here he is:
Charly le Surineur!
Whoever's looking for trouble,
Need look no further,
than Charly le Surineur!
He carries his switchblade,
out of sight, in his hands!
Come on friends, don't you forget,
'Cause Charly surely hasn't yet.
From the streets, that's where he came,
And he won't be coming back again.
Come on friends, don't you forget,
'Cause Charly surely hasn't yet.
From the streets, that's where he came,
And he won't be coming back again.
And now, the talented, the
glorious, the charming...
Gigi la Folle. All of
Paris is wild about her!
Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey!
One step behind, one step to the front,
Arms outstretched, undulant.
I step right up and
leap back, retrenchant,
Tarantula, hula, hula, hula, too...
Oh y?-y?, it's such a ball,
That funny dance of Gigi la Folle!
Oh y?-y?, it's such a ball,
That funny dance of Gigi la Folle!
Oh y?-y?, it's such a ball,
That funny dance of Gigi la Folle!
And here, Simon le Magicien,
who's not oblivious, far from it,
to all of your joys and your sorrows,
who understands you,
who loves all of you,
and answers and every
letter you write to him.
He's gone away, no he's here,
Isn't he just lingering there?
Up here, I'm forced to linger,
I'm forced to linger, To my great shame,
Now he's here, now he's not
He's just lingering.
You've got to pull yourself up.
Oh! Just leave the crowd behind,
He's just lingering.
You've got to pull yourself up...
High!
Ladies and gentlemen of the press,
select fans of Gigi, Charly and Simon,
our close associate
and friend, Mr. Camel,
has arranged, as a sneak preview...
in lieu of the usual but a bit
off-putting press conference...
this little get together.
- This little party.
- This little party, then.
Ladies and gentlemen,
representatives of the press,
fans of Gigi, Charly
and Simon, you may...
- Raise your glasses...
- speak freely with your beloved Idols.
Ladies and gentlemen, and
all of our dear young friends,
It's under the banner
of the whole truth,
that we place our latest
musical spectacle... and so
with complete frankness, our Idols
will answer all of your questions.
Is there anyone who would
like to get us started?
- How did Charly get started?
- What a great question!
Charly. Over to you.
Me, Charly, I'm not much of a speaker.
The butter of education was
never spread on my toast.
I'm the son of a worker...
Whose daddy was at the factory,
All the live long day,
Manufacturing aspirin.
But I... of that bread,
I wouldn't eat at all.
Not so much as one crumb.
None of that bread for me, daddy.
That's what I kept telling myself,
At that tender age, when I was twelve.
But, yes, yes, now you'll see,
Just where that wound up taking me.
Yeah!
Come in.
Jean Camel, Youth Advocate, Press Agent,
and Mr. Tourleffete, Artistic
Director for Idol Productions.
- Are you commies?
- Oh, no, Commissioner!
- Some nerve! Alleging that about me.
- Sorry.
- He wasn't asking...
- I'd like to speak.
My windshield has been broken.
- Ah! Oh, oh... an accident!
- Yes, in our opinion,
it must have been a pebble.
- Shut your trap!
- Shut my trap?
About what?
- The windshield!
- Ah!
Did someone get jack your car?
- Yes, to my shame!
- To his shame!
I was driving in my red
Jaguar, the badge of my success,
- Have a seat.
- No, thanks.
I was rolling along when out of nowhere
a pebble was thrown!
Into the windshield.
- I could have defended myself.
- I hope so...
But, then someone stuck me up with
his switchblade and I was overwhelmed.
- I can identify him.
- Imagine what might have happened.
It was an exclusive neighborhood
where this happened to me.
Stay cool!
Let's go!
Shut it!
Hot stuff!
Seems you're so hot,
you're turning pink!
You're burning up!
If I had my switchblade,
I'd give you some vent holes.
Back off! Take your hands off me.
My leather jacket! Don't
act like you're blind.
Why'd you go and do that?
If only I had my switchblade!
Call them off!
Where's the justice in this?
In the punchlines.
But what crime has he committed?
- A car! He'd stolen it!
- So he stole it?
- With which he took a joyride!
- So he took a joyride?
- But what should befall him?
- What should he fall into?
Just a Jaguar that he traded in
for what he'd found dumped
in some remote place.
We'll leave it to him
to say the word here
A red Jaguar
with souped-up custom engine?
He'd get that Jaguar
once he made his switch,
With the 2CV that he'd stolen.
So for my Jaguar, he's
come back with a 2CV?
It's from Micheline!
That's my wife, Commissioner.
- Where could he have dumped it?
- He couldn't have left it in Paris.
They're found there all the time.
A 2CVs,
The top open,
Under a sky, blue,
And I'm rolling.
Inside, happy.
Underneath the stars,
But we're dying,
Quietly,
So, anchors away!
Go ahead and sing! You'll
do it sooner or later.
- Take this gentleman away!
- But no, Commissioner! No!
- Are you in charge? I'm in charge here!
- But no, Commissioner!
Just now, he was only singing that
hit song that everybody's singing.
My card.
Did you see that? I'm trying
to say, the young man here,
trusts me.
"But he trusts me, Commissioner!"
"Idols Productions will
make a role model out of him"
"for the mommies fearful that their kids
have fallen in love with Pop singers."
What are you saying,
Charly? What are you saying?
Well... with that song, they re-educated me,
I'd earn a lot of money, and then I'd have no
reason to become a...a delinquent.
Stop right there! This young man
here is on the wrong side of the law!
As it happens, the law,
that's me. He's stolen a 2CV.
No, Mr. Commissioner,
he didn't steal it.
Sure, Charly. You simply borrowed it.
Yeah. Yes, that's right, friends,
I was borrowing it, I swear.
I'm willing to turn a blind eye, but
I'll hold you responsible for him.
I promise you, Commissioner,
he won't start up again.
Come along, young man.
Pretty soon, you'll be
driving off in a Jaguar.
A Jaguar?
A Jaguar...
The top up,
And me inside,
My switchblade out.
I'm slashing the tires
On every Citro?n 2CVs that passes.
I'm gonna climb,
Climb so high!
And you, Gigi, where were you back then?
Me...
Dear listeners, Mister
Camel, press agent number one
and number one in so much else, will
introduce himself Gigi la Folle's show.
- Over to you, friend.
- Thanks.
Ladies and gentlemen, moments from now,
Gigi la Folle will make her entrance...
and here already, before
that, comes a banner where
one may see the divine in
all her divinity, and here...
What's this? A maypole decked out with
risqu? ribbons like those she dares to wear
and that she passes out, strip
by strip to her screaming fans!
And here's a cart which she seems to
have loaded up with her little shoes!
She must have some magic in
store for us...and I... I...
Look! Over there! Here! She's here! Who?
She's about to take the
stage! Gigi... Gigi...
The one you're all crazy about!
Your Idol...
Gigi la Folle!
Right now, Gigi is going to perform,
it's my pleasure to announce:
"The Seahorse"!
The seahorse thought he'd be real cute.
If he put on some go-go boots!
But a seahorse doesn't have any hooves
So they just won't fit
him, these old shoes.
"No Daddy"! "No Daddy"! "No Daddy"!
So...
by popular demand,
here is my big hit which you all know:
"No, Daddy".
My father told me...
My mother, too,
"No, you cannot marry that young man."
But I love him!
I come to life when I see him.
How he smiled,
At what I told him.
My father told me...
My mother, too,
"You must marry this gentleman."
"He's nice and respectable."
But no, daddy!
I won't marry him!
That old bastard,
He ain't no good.
But no, daddy!
I won't marry him!
That old bastard.
He can't make love.
And now,
I'd like to thank my dear lyricists.
Thanks to you, good songwriters,
who write for us idiots our words.
Sure. It's true... that only
due to the idiotic noises
our voices make that they prosper.
But that's only money!
That won't buy happiness!
But it sure makes an Idol!
Now friends,
I'd very much like to tell
you about my childhood,
...about my family, about my grandpa.
about my grandma, about mommy,
and about my daddy!
One, two...
One, two, three, four...
Je n'ai jamais aim? m?m? She
never ever grabbed me, granny!
Daddy is in the dumps!
With grumpy, grumpy, granny.
Ever since poppy got stuck in his trunk,
His one eye naked in the wind,
She never ever grabbed me, granny!
And pops never popped for daddy.
But, but... Granny! He pops me...?
My how pops' one eye seeped!
It made daddy so worried...
He had granny's nose
for a bulging, seeping eye.
She never ever grabbed me, granny!
Poppy never popped for daddy.
But, but... Granny! He pops for me...?
Who got stuck in his trunk
With one eye gaping in the wind?
And while daddy wept,
Granny, who had no heart,
Taught mommy a lesson.
By constantly insinuating
That daddy was a rat!
The dirtiest and filthiest rat!
She even persuaded me
to stick myself in the trunk.
I crammed myself in with gramps!
And then granny took some photographs.
And when they were ready, she cried out:
Oh! Daddy, daddy, daddy? Pops!
I saw his bulging eye seeping!
And daddy began to howl with rage!
And when he came to,
After about an hour,
He gave me such a pounding
And mommy laughed and
laughed and laughed.
And daddy yelled and yelled and yelled.
Oh poppy, if only you could've seen it,
If only you could've seen it...
How satisfying would that have been...
To see your son make boom-boom
On the fanny of your little girl?
My little Heloise...
No! It's not Heloise.
It's Gigi plain and simple.
Gigi, listen to what we're
saying to you, please.
Your latest song is
quite simply obscene.
- "Obscene", please...
- I know what I'm saying!
Obscene, absurd, and awkward!
Family, Gigi. Family.
That's the Idol's market.
And you've ridiculed them.
The granny is presented
as an old sadist!
- Manouche!
- I know what I'm saying!
The grandpa's a stiff
and the dad's a zero!
And the mommy,
while demure, nonetheless,
laughs while the daddy's
spanking the little girl.
The song's not very
moral. It's true, Gigi.
It was completely ridiculous...
and insulting.
You don't insult the
audience that feeds you!
- You give a little thought for your belly at least!
- Manouche!
We need to talk about Charly.
He has a conference tomorrow.
Right now, this is about Gigi.
Never mind Charly, please.
Oh, I don't mind. You can
talk about Charly if you want.
Watch it, Gigi.
- Watch it!
- The number of letters I received after my last special
surpassed those of the preceding month.
- Is that true?
- That's right. I checked.
Yes, even more.
I'm always the last to be told...
Well, we need to talk about
Charly and tomorrow's conference!
Oh, you and your 'tomorrow's
conference' all the time!
Come. We should take our seats.
You all know our dear
collaborator and friend,
Mister Camel, our press agent,
to whom falls the honor of presenting
our new star.
Charly le Surineur...
who, there's little doubt,
will shortly be an Idol.
I'd like to begin, if I may,
by providing you with a
definition of the Idol.
The Idol is the embodiment
in a single individual
of aspirations for the success others have
that we have no chance of achieving, ever!
It's the jackpot, the clear victory,
the living proof that
anybody can be somebody
Well... just as some
professor might put it:
"If anybody can be somebody,
as soon as he's somebody,
he's no longer anybody!"
Once the Idol has acquired fame,
he must behave
and talk like anybody would
imagine he would behave
if he had been a success.
The Idol always does exactly
what the public expects him to do.
But enough theory,
let's move on to practice.
"How to attract
public sympathy?"
Here we have a film
segment showing Charly
mingling with his youth
audience, unassuming... authentic,
asking him to talk about his childhood.
If you would...
Hello, my...
my friends.
My life...
it's no better than yours is.
It's just that...
I've had some luck.
Luck, in our business
it counts for a lot.
I'm a workers' son.
My mother was a seamstress
and my father was ill.
And me...
in the streets!
The school of hard knocks.
That's where I learned to play
some guitar and the switchblade!
The knife.
That's how I got my last
name, Charly le Surineur.
I never offed a punk,
By which I mean to say...
I never killed anyone.
But anyway, I'd have turned out bad,
if Idols Productions
hadn't taken charge...
of my education.
Perfect!
In this TV spot for a general audience,
Charly employs only everyday
words and a pinch of slang
which he never fails to translate.
His position as a star, ensures him
entr?e to cosmo society functions,
...and by cosmo, I mean aristocratic.
So, using a vocabulary that is dignified
and distinguished recommends itself.
Second lesson: "Vocabulary".
If you would.
It's better to say
"a vehicle" than "a car",
"affliction" than "pain",
"instantaneously" than "suddenly",
"circumspect" than "careful",
"draw" than "pull",
"indentured" than "bilateral",
"crimson" than "red".
That went well.
That went really, really
well. Now, you are a gentleman.
Yeah, yeah! I know.
Now, I am a gentleman!
Wisdom flows from my mouth.
I know one doesn't doff a chick.
One undresses a respectable lady
because that makes it pleasant for her.
And the older and richer she
is, the more beautiful she is!
And don't forget, take her
jewels as quietly as you can.
One doesn't say gigolo, but playboy.
not "hustler", but "youth idol"!
Those are bitter words, Charly.
Bitterness doesn't become a hit.
A hit, Charly! Huh? A hit.
Yeah, yeah. I know, I know...
"Try to be agreeable!
Make yourself agreeable!
"The more agreeable you are,
the more money you'll earn,
and the more money you earn,
the more loved you'll be."
Being loved, that's agreeable. That
earns a lot of money, doesn't it?
For a fag, sure!
Make him shut up!
Charly!
Think of the money we've spent on you
and also why you're here. Why?
To reminisce about the important
milestones in your life,
which have made an Idol
out of you and your songs.
Instead of that, Charly,
you present us with the spectacle
of an embittered young man:
disillusioned with a life
that hasn't been complete.
Well you've succeeded in that, Charly.
That's right! "Success"!
Think of those who have failed.
Of those who have fallen
from the top, Charly. The top!
Simon,
you, whom the trials of
life have so severely judged,
tell Charly what it
means to be a failure.
- Simon!
Simon, the readers of "Paris Dimanche"
want to know why it
hasn't worked out for you.
Between us, Simon, the
public has given up on you.
I read here
that you've only sold 350
copies of your latest record,
down from 1,200,000 for the last one.
I don't get it.
Am I obsolete?
Obsolete?
Not at all.
Not at all.
I used to be
the uncontested champion of
the international hit-parade.
"Simon le Magicien" fan clubs
were springing up in every town.
Hundreds of thousands of letters
poured in each day
to my post office box.
There's nothing I
haven't done to succeed.
Believe me, I spared no pains.
I had just been studying
applied photogenics
when I applied.
And I'd become the leader in the field
of the disciple of Living Expression.
In my poses,
I could embody
all the expressions that the public
expects from an Idol
at the height of fame.
I don't get it.
I don't get it!
I don't get it!
I was the uncontested champion
of the international hit-parade!
"Simon le Magicien" fan clubs
started up in every town!
Hundreds of thousands...
thousands of letters
poured each day into my P.O. box.
There's nothing I wouldn't
have done to succeed!
I'd just been studying
applied photogenics
when I applied
and I'd become the leader in the field
of the discipline of Living Expression!
In my poses, I could embody
all of the expressions
that the public expects from
an Idol at the height of fame!
The modest guy.
Mr. Big Stuff, full of himself.
The appreciative guy.
The disgusted guy.
The mystic guy,
but an extrovert.
The enthusiastic guy,
but who's farsighted
The sporty guy,
but thoughtful.
The guy who drinks red wine...
The one who drinks tea...
Le gars ? qui on la fait pas...
The good guy,
Content...
Loyal...
Clean.
Healthy.
Educated.
Worried.
The arty guy,
but he's polite.
Sentimental...
Chaste.
Pleasant...
Joker...
Distinguished...
Charitable...
Thrifty...
Candid...
Happy...
Blissful...
I succeeded even
in refining the most varied expressions,
the most...
contradictory.
For example, the guy who's at
once arty, sporty, educated...
appreciative, mystic,
chaste, proper, legit...
All of the publicity photos
captured, Simon, your...
inexhaustible inventory of varied poses.
Yes.
I had photos in all the papers.
So what. Nobody reads the papers.
There. That's why I'm not better known.
That's true, Simon.
Television has taken our readers away.
So. It's because I'm not telegenic.
Oh, no, Simon.
You fill the small screen magnificently.
And my horoscopes?
They were wild about my horoscopes.
They wrote from all
over the world for them.
I had it all.
Plain and simple, I
could have had it all.
Plip, plop. Where'd that come from?
The whole audience is knackered.
Well here it is: the clog in the drain.
Plip, plop, fizz, plip,
Plip, plop, plip...
It's a truism: the public
is fickle, ungrateful.
But tell me, which was
your greatest hit of all?
My greatest hit of all...
must have been "Come into My Heart".
800000 discs sold in three weeks.
Come along into my heart,
And pick a flower there,
You'll find the scent
Of my past inside.
Four days to wait.
Sleepless nights, all the way.
You were my roof... my shelter.
My life, my magic life.
But when it came, the beautiful day,
To say, "Yes," to the Priest,
My daddy and my mommy would be there.
To open up their arms... out to here
Those were eight verses that
millions of people sang along to.
I was the King...
God.
The Idol. The Number One.
- You need more ice?
- Yes, if you would.
I even published my memoirs
in your paper, you may recall.
Yes. I remember them very well.
If I'm not mistaken, Simon,
before you were an Idol,
you were a clairvoyant psychic.
Yes. I could read the future
in cards and coffee grounds.
But my specialty was the rotten egg.
I'd crack a rotten egg,
and read the future in
the odor it released.
One day, Gigi la Folle,
she was called Heloise back then
and had only had a small d?but
which got released on
45 without much success,
She came and found me.
I'm at your service, miss.
- My name's Heloise.
- Ah.
Sir...
Miss?
I've been waiting
for such a long time
at the bottom of the stairs
leading to the tower of success.
I want to see.
So... when you peer
into the coffee grounds
or into your crystal ball,
shall my destiny ultimately attain
the lofty heights of my ambitions?
It's hell, being on earth.
while the pop stars
sparkle in the sky...
My specialty is
the rotten egg, cracked
to release its odor
which my extrasensory nose
deciphers, communicating to my brain
which, falling into a trance,
reveals at last a clear
vision of the future.
Here's an egg
which was born when I was.
If I crack this egg.,
I'll see your whole life inside,
and you'll no longer have a future.
You'll be without a destiny!
You'll simply no longer live.
You will have accomplished
all that I will have revealed.
I must know!
Your life belongs to you. Okay.
I'm cracking it...
The egg!
- It's sheer madness!
- I am "Folle"!
But...
But what, I ask you, is my life worth?
In exchange for a little success?
No. I'm asking you for nothing.
Yeah... yeah... I can feel it!
Come on! Yeah. I'll take success
and leave my life to you!
By leaving your life to me,
you've condemned me to
die the day of your death!
Only the dead can lead the
dead into the realm of the dead.
I don't want... I don't
want to drag you down...!
You've been playing with
fire, which knows just one law:
To burn!
I've been waiting...
for such a long time!
At the bottom of the steps,
which mount the tower of success!
She was "folle" as a
hatter, little Heloise.
She succumbed to ideas, funny ideas,
about life and death...
and about me.
I suggested her name to her.
Gigi la Folle is a pretty name.
And since it could contribute
to my renown, I'll take it.
And you're to thank.
And I thank you.
Sorry, I don't have any money.
I don't have any money.
In the meantime,
I could pay you with a service,
which I will render you.
Listen...
- I sing myself, too. A little bit...
- Well. That's great.
And... if you could, since
you're maneuvering through it,
if you could...
Oh! Consider it done!
We're listening.
Rolling!
We became such good friends...
That we were holding hands.
And truly joyous, Towards
tomorrow we rushed,
We never bothered along the way,
With what other people would say,
And young girl,
We're such good friends,
Oh yeah? A bit, fine,
"What's yours is mine."
Let's treat each other this way,
Treating night like it was day.
And enjoying it all the way,
Like tomorrow is today,
We're such good friends,
We shall always be...
The world's full of tomorrows,
We are so young,
Full of enthusiasm,
We love our parents,
With all of our hearts.
This thing needs to go
out to all the stations.
Monsieur, we're signing you.
You'll go far with this song.
There... there are more verses...
Don't you want to hear them?
- Such good frien...
- You've been signed!
- Hold on. Come on. Okay, you'll see...
- We're such good friends...
- But you've been signed!
I've been signed? Ah!
It became a big hit.
Yes. 1,200,000 records sold
A fortune, in one month.
Spent as quickly...
- You owe a lot to Gigi la Folle, Simon.
- An enormous amount.
But doesn't she? You gave her
the name that made her a hit.
I recognized that.
The proof: he's the one I chose
to be witness at my marriage.
Ah... the marriage of Gigi...
and Charly...
They're young to have made it so fast.
Angelo's father is very rich.
Idols' Productions is
a very large concern.
Real fortunes aren't made so quickly.
- We'll see...
- I'm tired. Tired of...
Ah... the cocktails!
Every Friday, it's horrible. I give up.
- But where is the young couple?
I haven't seen Angelo Laffitte
today? What's going on?
Oh, no, no. Angelo has gone.
He's in the middle of planning a
summer tour for Gigi and Charly.
- Already?
- They owe it to their audience.
The poor kids. Let them relax a little.
But... how about some
photographs... uh...
- over by the pool... I don't know...
- Photographs?
a little undressed or something...
- Oh, no. No, I don't think so.
- Oh? Oh...
I think not. We could organize something
if you want in the coming days, but
- today is the wedding and...
- Yeah, right. Right, yeah.
It's a little hard, I understand,
a little hard, you think.
Oh look! Look!
That's Abbot Vincent arriving.
And I bless, with great pleasure, these
children who are successful children
and who hold dear the rites
and morals of Christian simplicity.
The angels... Don't they
express themselves in song?
And even if the rhythm today is more...
how should I put it, more...
Y?-y?
than God has endowed them with:
he's made other arrangements.
Myself, I've never hesitated
to blast my parish with a little wind...
I can carry quite a tune.
All for the glory of God
and His works. May it be so.
And...
Here we are today with two of the most
prestigious children of popular songs,
to unite them before God for life.
I'd be remiss not to remind you,
in what esteem the church
holds the popular songs,
as long as it knows how
to stay within the bounds
of decency, of healthy pleasure,
and respectable distraction.
Oh! Sister Hilarity is here!
Well, what a surprise!
Dear sister, what a pleasure!
My Lord Abbot, you do me an honor.
Dear sister, I'm pleased to see you.
- The Abbot himself said so.
- It's an honor to have you with us today.
How many copies have you
sold of your last record?
- 2,300,000 copies, Father.
- Oh. That's just beautiful. That's just fine.
That's just beautiful,
just fine, isn't it?
- Noteworthy!
- Noteworthy!
Would you do us the honor
of singing your latest hit?
Oh, Madame...
I don't know if I should.
But yes! But yes, but yes. But yes.
Well, in that case, Lord Abbot...
O God, look after Your children,
May they be content
To sing Your praises.
Strike up the angels' hymn:
Glory to God, in Highest Heaven!
Hallelujah! God, amongst us, everywhere.
O God, in Your armies,
We go out to fight impieties,
And make rule over all France
Faith, Charity, Hope
Glory to God, in Highest Heaven!
Hallelujah! God, amongst us, everywhere.
O God, bless these children
Who shall owe to You both
their joys and their torments
Bless the sons who will be born
From their legitimate union!
Glory to God, in Highest Heaven!
Hallelujah! God, amongst us, everywhere.
Glory to God, in Highest Heaven!
Hallelujah! God, amongst us, everywhere.
Glory to God, in Highest Heaven!
Hallelujah! God, amongst us, everywhere.
Everything there's
going very well. Perfect!
But we have learned the winners
of the big radio contest...
- "The Best Families in France".
- ...who have won the right
to present their questions
to Gigi, Charly and Simon.
And without much risk of being mistaken,
I can confirm that they're here
to interview their dear Idols.
Without further delay,
Fans of Pop Idol, over to you!
Gigi,
what do you think of your marriage?
Well, my friends, let me
Tell you about that: marriage.
It's a beautiful book,
Full of blank pages,
To write upon for the
length of his days.
Charly said so. Yes. He
can tell you about it, too.
I'd like that. Yes. I've sworn To
do that for as long as I'm living.
My charming and my so sweet Gigi.
This marriage fulfills our vows,
We're going to live happily.
Charly, did you wear a black jacket?
I may be rich now, but...
I don't forget about my past.
Gigi? How old are you?
My life begins today with Charly!
Simon? Do the three of you
get along well together?
We're friends, yeah.
Gigi? Do you want children?
Yes!
a boy and after that a girl and after that
a boy again and after that a girl again.
Charly!
Do you prefer Coca-Cola?
Coca-Cola? Sure, it's good..
Charly, as an athlete, what do
you think of racing cyclists?
They're pedaling.
Gigi, are you happy?
Oh yes! Because Charly?s gonna to get
me an Alfa Romeo, a diamond necklace,
and a bouquet of violets.
- Charly? When will you do your military service?
- Never!
Oh, but you've misunderstood, Charly!
You were only asked "when"
you'll do your military service.
Never.
Wha...?
Angelo? John? What is this?
Charly has always said yes...
That he'd been thrown out... that he'd
burned... to do...his military service.
No. That's not true.
- Do something, quick!
- I'll save face. I'll save face.
Charly,
my son,
come to your senses.
Your military service, you must do it...
- No!
- when the time comes!
For the moment, you're
concerned about your marriage.
to Gigi, whom you
love and who loves you.
With Gigi whom I love and who loves me.
The truth, friends?
The truth! The truth!
- The truth, Gigi?
- The truth, Charly.
The truth is that our managers
arranged for us to get married.
- That's not true.
- Not true?
"Gigi and Charly, you've
got to get married,
and fast!"
For publicity, have you forgotten?
"Your marriage will save our business."
"A beautiful wedding, Gigi. All
of Paris will come to admire you."
"There'll be radio,
papers, television there!"
We obeyed and we got married.
But that evening, once we were
alone in our honeymoon suite...
Tell me, Charly...
you and me,
in the same bed?
In bed together?
As lovers?
Well that's one game that I don't want
to play. I don't want to, I don't want to!
Uh huh, what you want...
Here's what you want.
What I want..., I want... fuck you,
if that's what you want me to do.
You're scared stiff you
won't be able to handle me.
That dress
that you're wrapped up in,
gives me the right to throw
you on the bed and take you,
if you keep pushing!
- If you want?
- And I can!
- You're a dog!
- I'll knock you out if you resist!
- Bite your lips!
- The lowest of the low!
And splatter your blood
all over your white dress!
- Charly! I don't love you!
- Me neither!
I hate you!
- Strip!
- Never.
But... but you're the wife, Gigi,
Assume your position on this bed.
You've only got to undress.
This is our wedding night
and we'll get through
it, with hatred or love.
I'll rip it off you.
We fucked.
Show the whole family, all
our friends, the dirty sheets,
- the ripped dress and our puffy eyes.
- But we have no family or friends!
- What?
- But we do!
Friends! More friends!
in the papers, the magazines,
and the cinemas, all expecting
and eager to read in our
smiles, happiness, our good luck!
- Good luck!
- Happiness!
- Happiness!
- Good luck!
- Good luck!
- Happiness! Good luck!
Adieu,
happiness.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes, my Gigi.
And now think about your boyfriend,
while you give yourself to your husband!
Charly! Charly!
You boor!
I don't want to see you! I'd rather die!
Rather than suffer upon myself
the burden of your base needs!
Ah...
That's right. I forgot.
You're... you're refined, huh?
You like... you like foreplay.
I've shocked your fine delicateness.
Well forgive me. Forgive me, Gigi.
But I have
I have some delicate manners, too.
So know this! That it's not
the burden of my base needs
that will fall onto you,
but your charm working on me,
stirring up in me insane
desires, against nature
to possess the woman I've married.
- But you're not in love!
- And who doesn't love me.
Charly...
Charly... Charly...
This is intolerably provocative!
- You need to sit down!
- We are hereby
married, indeed!
Behold!
The veritable marriage ceremony
of Gigi and Charly.
I see it cracking, falling
from heaven upon me...
who am no longer myself!
I want you to worship each other.
and to be Gods.
We consecrate...
In this, there's the sound
Of Reason
Since Reason is necessary.
It will set you straight.
This is your fault! This was your idea.
It was my idea and you
approved it, didn't you?
We've got to do something. Make
an announcement. Something...
Pull yourself together!
Excuse me? Paris Express?
- Do you think there'll be a scandal?
- Explain yourselves!
- Simon, it's suicide!
- Explain yourself! You owe us!
Over here! Charly, I'd like to see you.
- How much do you earn?
- Have you become a militant?
- What are your demands?
- Are you communists? Red Army?
Will you agree to answer our questions?
We have no comment.
I know nothing.
- You won't agree to answer questions
- Yes. Yes.
I think Charly owes us an
explanation for all this.
And why haven't you done
your military service?
My military service?
This is charming. Delightful.
It's really very nice.
Indeed. Very relaxing.
We would have prepared
a hearty home cooked meal
but given the time, it
would have been rushed.
Oh, Madame, it's really unnecessary
to follow military protocol today.
Everyone's heads have been stuffed
with such extravagant ideas,
such stupidities.
Mr. Chief of Staff
mind you that we've always
tried to do our very best.
Yes, I... I know that.
Mr. Chief of Staff of
the Defense Ministry,
on the topic of our Charly...
Oh, no. Surely you understand,
the Ministry deems this immoral:
that this young man should dodge
his compulsory military service,
a duty he owes to his country.
To be lenient in a case like this one
would have a disastrous effect
on the morale of our tender youth.
But Mr. Chief of Staff, we're
only suggesting a leave of absence:
A simple leave of absence for one year.
Yes. We've spent so much
money. Money, so much money.
My husband's trying to say that
the investments that were made
to launch Charly?s career have required
us to make considerable sacrifices.
Suspending his career right now
would mean financial disaster
that would be extremely
difficult for us to recover from.
You must understand that
our annual contributions
to the fund for the upkeep of the
Disabled Officers' Administration
could be severely compromised.
Yes. There's a beautiful pool
here. You're right. A nice yard...
Well. Let's say that Charly
were to leave for one year,
maybe for two years, on tour, abroad,
In that case,
well in that case, it would
be in the country's interest,
even from a cultural point of view.
The Defense Ministry
appreciates that this would
involve a higher interest.
And given such an eventuality,
the reform envisaged,
well, I would no longer see any
utility in those sanctions...
I agree. But...
Well, a tour, that would cost a lot.
It's either profitable or it's not.
Oh, yes. But, Madame, you'd
surely receive a grant.
I can only envision making such
an arrangement under those terms.
Under the circumstances...
For Mr. Chief of Staff,
a sip of champagne.
Oh. Thank you but I... actually I'm
a bit allergic. I'd prefer some beer.
- I object! This is a gross distortion!
- It's the precise truth!
We're going to contact our attorneys!
- About what?
- We will not be defamed!
Simon, talk to us about your
hits, when you had a number one.
The number one.
Do you have any stories? Memories?
Was there just one girl
in your life? Girls?
One girl.
Yeah... a girl...
You'll embrace me.
You'll embrace me.
Because I am the king.
Because I am the king.
The Idols!
The Idols!
I've sung that old song so
much, I'm getting sick of it.
You just sing it and
thousands of girls cry for joy.
They do that for you, Simon!
You're the Magus! Our Mandrake!
The knight who conquers our hearts!
Our all! You own our all.
And me... the president of
the Simon le Magicien fan club.
Starting today, I'm
devoting myself to you.
For life!
Life?
Simon?
Know what?
I do, too! I sing!
Listen.
By midweek, it seems full of life!
But me, I'm full of midweek melancholy!
Before you were married,
when did you get engaged?
A long time ago.
Tell us how you got engaged.
Why did you get engaged?
It was a time when
everything was going smoothly
for Gigi...
and for me.
This month, your sales were at least
38704 records down from
Charly?s last 33 LP.
and 38700 records at least
from Gigi's last 45 single.
Sales of Gigi and Charly
records have plummeted.
We can't possibly support you
with this kind of track record.
The declining sales in
new records by Pop Stars
require us to reconsider our investment
Whatever sacrifices we may have to
make are ours to decide and not yours.
You'll know by tomorrow our decision.
Gigi? Where are you?
A come back will probably
take a little while for you.
But things will pick up for you.
And pick up good!
Beautiful...
Charlie...
Come here, I've told you,
come and sit down here.
Come one.
Gigi, come over here, closer to me.
Come on. Over here.
You see...
It would be very painful for
me to be separated from you.
I appreciate you.
I sympathize
out of friendship for you.
You're so young.
You're a child.
Micheline, is like a mother, and
me, I've already got a mother.
I've had enough of being a
child. I'm no longer a child.
You have a scent...
your skin,
sweet, like a child's.
And the look, desire,
and strength of a man.
- Only my craft interests me.
- Exactly, Charly! Exactly!
I'm a man. Right, Gigi.
Right? Gigi? I'm a man!
Gigi,
I'm a man, right?
Charly!
It's all up to you.
Maybe you are that darling child
who needs to be looked after,
who needs to be pushed
to heights, higher...
and higher than mere hits!
A triumph!
The biggest international tours, Charly!
Both Americas,
China, Japan!
Montevideo...
But you're dreaming.
You must not realize that
the mere scent of a flower
makes me nauseous.
Well...
you know me now.
all of this...
Ciao.
Ciao, Mr. Laffitte.
Ciao.
Gigi!
I'm begging you!
Oh, Madame!
Me, Madame?
The fairies, at my birth,
gave me a certain egg
which contains my future.
I'm going to go ahead
and crack it!
And take the stench to Simon, my friend,
who will read my fortune.
I'd better hit it...
Ciao, Madame.
Charlie!
Ciao.
Yes?
Hello? Micheline. I've had an idea.
I know. I've had the same one.
You've waited long enough.
So now without further delay...
The two number ones on the chart...
Both number one on the Pop charts...
Two as one!
The super-talents of Pop Music
are going to sing
their number one number!
Here's the number one dance of the USA
It's danced and it's danced,
It's danced like this.
Ladies had better take off your shoes.
Gentlemen, I'm begging
you, take off your shoes.
On one foot, you jump like so...
And then on the other and both at once.
Mister, you'd better slip it in.
Mrs. had better jump on her man.
Mr. Ducheval, that's one woman!
Mrs. Bouclier, on the attack!
Mrs., could you get down on your knees.
Mister, would you also do the same?
Mrs., you want to dance the
tango, but Mr. wants to show off.
Now that you're starting to dance,
These are only the first steps,
Of the number one dance
of the USA!
Mister, go ahead and take the broom!
As long as the Mrs. will hand it over.
Missus, you chased mister
into bed with your friend.
Where you found him! Oh yeah!
Oh yeah! Y?-y?...
Gents in the house, stand up!
Go ahead and shake it!
Ladies, take him in your hands!
Help the gentlemen feel good.
Better than good. Oh, yeah! Yeah!
Mrs., would you please go on with it?
On Mister's whacker drop a smacker,
Mister, you're awfully ticklish.
Crying out for God, "Oh my God!"
What you came to see today,
Was the number one dance of the USA
For sale in France, in Paris,
- High end boutique of the United States.
- Oh yeah!
This has been an ORTF
French radio broadcast.
The latest song from the Pop Fianc?s
has become the most colossal
hit recorded to date.
However, this spectacular success
cannot have come without
producing a disastrous decline
for the singles of certain pop stars.
Simon, you're good for nothing.
It's over.
Your fan club members aren't
going to their meetings any more.
Your photo has disappeared
from above their beds.
They're dreaming about Charly.
"Charly and Gigi? Will they get married?
"What a crazy couple! Super cool!"
That's what they're saying.
"The extremely sensitive Gigi
"may be about to learn
some of life's hard lessons.
"Charly, they say, likes
to have play around."
It's true.
It's true!
It's true!
Me...
If Charly asked me to marry him,
even if I happened to
be engaged to another,
I'd tell the other
one, "Forget about me!"
"My calling is elsewhere!"
"Forget about me!"
You want me to forget
about you, is that right?
You're dreaming about Charly,
but...
Poor darling,
you're forgetting about Gigi.
Then it's true?
Gigi and Charly love each other?
Do they love each other?
Idols idolize themselves.
That's just beautiful...
Just beautiful.
That's a wonderful story.
It's a fairy tale!
I know what I'm going to do!
Where are you going?
I'm going to found a fan
club for the Pop Newlyweds!
"And the wheel that lifts
one up crushes the other one,
"and goes along its way,
"and we, who are left behind,
hung out to dry or crushed,
"we go on about our way
in unspeakable anguish."
Marguerite,
Genevi?ve...
Poor Nyasse.
I'm alone...
To my despair.
Alone.
Alone.
Alone.
I have no more friends, I am alone.
They say that I'm finished.
Finished!
Okay then, I'd better get finished.
Without any hope, So dark is my life.
Is there someone here
who understands me?
No one!
No one
Is there someone here
who understands me?
Without any hope, So dark is my life.
She left me that same morning.
She left me,
The only one I loved.
Now I'm loved by no one.
Here I stand, abandoned.
They sure are pretty, your words!
He making something up
on the spot, improvising.
I tried so hard,
My eyes were filled with tears.
I was crying so much that I lost my love
and I found myself empty
So I'm going, going...
Too literary for the masses.
I'm getting cold, very cold
Who among you, who would,
in your arms, wrap me up?
and offer some consoling words to me?
I'd have put it in
verse. That's more moving.
Ridiculous. This can't be spontaneous!
But it works!
Not at all. The hall's gone cold as ice!
Friends... Life!
Life!
Life!
- Arms in the air!
- Come back to life!
Come along now, friends, Be cool...
and clap your hands!
Play along now, friends,
Be cool and clap your hands!
Nothing can be done.
He's finished.
Come along now, friends,
Be cool and clap your hands!
Come along now, friends,
Be cool and clap your hands!
- All right, then. Enough is enough!
- The situation can be handled!
Falling from so high.
That it wasn't enough for me
to break my back, to be crushed
As shall be crushed,
all the men who've fallen
Who have fallen or shall fall
Charly, since you're not
in love, Gigi and you,
why can't you just stay friends?
You're only engaged,
so why are you getting married?
Why bother to get married?
Why?
Well...
Gigi and Charly have been
engaged for several months
and our readers and myself besides are
asking when they're going to get married.
But Mr. Pecuchet, the "Pop Fianc?s"
is little more than a publicity label.
A publicity label?
Yes and no.
Yes?
A headline in which...
No, no. No, no, no. I am L?on Pecuchet.
The Parisian column is not a trash bag.
No, not a line.
We simply came up together
with a catchword... A brand.
Yes. Yes, we'll see.
We came up with
a scheme:
to transform into a single couple
these two pop stars, who separately,
were beginning to decline.
And...
so you hooked them up.
Hooked them up! Hooked them up
to an audience, to Pop Music!
Off the record, it
can be disclosed that,
let's just say, they
don't get along very well.
When I inform my readers that
Gigi and Charly only got engaged
for publicity purposes and
they actually hate each other...
They're not in love. They're a little...
Mr. Pecuchet,
if you write that, you know
very well, we'd be ruined.
My job is to inform, Madame. That's all.
Yes or no? Are Gigi and
Charly going to get married?
- They're not in love.
- They're not right for each other.
It's just a question of what?
A hundred times a hundred
per head each night? Have I guess right?
We've invested too much time in this
affair to allow it to fall apart.
- Mr. Pecuchet...
- There are other interests at stake.
I have a letter here from
a Mister Antonin Biffard,
a Lille industrialist,
who has paid you 30 million
for the right to manufacture Gigi and
Charly dolls in wedding costumes for us.
That's your loss.
The price will be their future.
If the Pop Fianc?s don't get married,
then 4 million dolls already dressed up in
wedding clothes will remain on our hands.
Well... I recall that
Mr. Biffard has always
been friendly to our paper.
Evidently, Charly and Gigi's marriage
would breathe new life into their careers.
If they get married, all of your
competitors will be easily acquired.
But Charly and Gigi
will never accept this!
I assure you that they will accept it!
They'll get married.
I promise you that, Mr. Pecuchet.
So does that mean...
I knew that wisdom
would ultimately prevail.
Mr. Pecuchet, our Simon,
actually, isn't very strong.
Couldn't you...
That's of no interest.
Keep it just in case.
This is defamatory! I demand you
omit those remarks from your column.
- It's disgusting!
- That's exactly what it is, old lady.
- Gigi, talk about life as a newlywed.
- And your private life with Charly.
Will you grow old together?
Or lead a separate life?
To each their own?
To each their own.
And together.
It all depends...
It's the springtime of our lives.
And we smie at all we meet.
Make a springtime complaints.
Fallen on hard times and deep sorrow,
The shops full of vintage junk,
The jewelry,
The marvellous combs.
Everything should be fine.
But their colors will never last,
Go on fucking with my heart.
That stitches it up,
Thanks to them, I've become
A new industry.
Only I haven't become a hit.
Only feebly passing.
The longest, the gloomiest,
The most idle of days.
For me, there's little more to do,
Even when alcohol
Is flowing freely.
To get him to kiss me, I try in vain.
To give some kind of meaning to my life,
Long tomorrows.
Charly...
Do you love me?
No.
Me, neither.
It didn't seem like that
displeased you, at least.
Yeah.
Yeah, since I was fantasizing,
while I was screwing you,
that I was screwing that girl who was
screaming yesterday in the 3rd row.
She had to be thirteen, at least.
And I, Charly,
when you were holding me in your arms,
I saw in your eyes
a man who wanted to
kick me out of his bed...
Close to madness...
Charly...?
You love me?
No.
Me, neither.
Then, Charly, what are we gonna do?
I don't know.
We could...
We could get divorced.
Divorced?
And then, Gigi...
And then,
go away,
each of us on our own...
Go away
on a world tour!
And perhaps,
in an ideal city,
we could meet again.
Aren't you Gigi?
Charly!
How you've changed.
You've got the look of someone lost
who has no more strength
to call for help.
And you...
you look like a poor dog.
A poor, sad dog.
A child, who has lost her childhood.
Thanks, Charly. I kiss your hand.
And I, yours.
And now,
we're going to live
together, the two of us,
however we please,
without getting married!
- Happily! Happily!
- Yeah...
Fuck this prefab,
married-for-life!
And sham vows at the town hall!
- Charly!
- Oh! I'm trapped, Gigi!
But, Charly...
Charly...
someday, we'll love each other, maybe.
Ah...
Someday...
or another.
Or never.
Charly...
Fortune's wheel makes another turn.
Ratings for Gigi and Charly
as a couple are falling.
Everything's gone south.
So now, "The Poor Idols' Lament".
Hear this lament, Let's
hear it, beloved audience
Of Charly and Gigi.
By all of you, abandoned!
Charly le Surineur,
solo, Was so renowned,
The same goes for Gigi la Folle.
Once she?d had a real name.
Then one day, Fortune abandoned them.
They didn't lose heart,
They united their voices,
They got engaged and became
the young Pop Newlyweds.
They became the nation's
number one Idols.
Once you're on the right track,
you'd better hold on tight.
Because Fortune, As everybody knows,
Has got just one wheel.
Has got just one wheel.
Gigi,
by opening up her multicolored
umbrella in the scene
has brought misfortune
raining down on our heads.
Just so, Rosine,
"whoever opens an umbrella
is asking for rain."
And "days of plenty are
followed by days of scarcity."
So much money was involved...
And all lost!
And where did it go?!
Into whose pockets?
We still have, all the same,
a nice bank account anyway.
And money needs to be
constantly risked in this game...
which isn't very conducive to
the wellbeing of the gambler!
But I always said
that there wouldn't be anything left for
us to gamble on if we didn't gamble...
Some professionals, we are!
We take all the risks on our shoulders.
What a job!
The only badge of honor
we get is to honor debt.
We've got to come up with
an idea to drive up business.
Find the ends of the loose threads
that are all tangled up in our hair
and around our necks,
before it drives us crazy!
It's me.
Me. I have the solution.
Whatever you may have, Simon,
you're long dead... finished.
No, Rosine.
No, Micheline.
You were talking about loose threads?
I've got quite a few in my cap
that really need to be pulled out.
Gigi and Charly are
finished. Simon, too. Okay.
But...
Gigi, Charly and Simon...
no.
It's just a matter of
creating a pop trio,
and letting everyone think
that between Gigi and me...
Or even better, that Charly
is jealous for no reason.
Who would believe that but you, Simon?
That you'd be able to take the
place of Charly in Gigi's heart?
They'll believe it...
They'll assume it. They'll imagine it.
And let them think
that I've bewitched her.
I'm Simon le Magicien, aren't I?
Simon! I can tell...
I can tell... You have succeeded?
You convinced them?!
Yes, Marguerite.
Genevi?ve,
poor Nyasse...
Success.
Then at last I'm going to have a hit!
Together, both of us,
we'll rise to the top!
Yes. Yeah, I'm going to
climb so high, this time...
- "We're going..."!
- I'm going...
No.
I...,
poor Nyasse.
But... aren't we
aren't we supposed to be
the new couple in the song
- who're gonna replace Gigi and Charly?
- No. No.
No. You have nothing of what it
takes, poor Nyasse, to be an idol.
Nothing.
But you'll lead Pop Idols' new fan club.
Pol Idols?
Gigi, Charly and Simon.
And Simon is the lover of
Gigi who cheats on her husband.
Simon?
Traitor!
I was the one who pulled
you out of yourself
when you were nothing but a rat,
dragged down in his
misery and his confusion,
not even daring to raise his head
toward the little summit
from whence you'd tumbled!
Stop!
Listen, Genevi?ve. Be reasonable.
Isn't it true that one couple
can't be replaced by another one?
- Stop!
- It's worth thinking about.
- Stop!
- Listen... Fine.
Genevi?ve!
So our story ends,
ladies and gentlemen.
- Shut up.
- She'll be fired, I assure you!
Time will tell.
The Pop Idols, burnt out...
were wiped out even before they existed.
They admit it, ladies and gentlemen!
You are witnesses! It was a sabotage!
Enough. That's enough.
We say goodbye to you,
ladies and gentlemen.
But before sinking into oblivion,
Gigi, Charly and myself,
the following fable, would
like to share with you.
It's called "The 14th of July".
It hasn't got a moral.
On the 14th of July...
Y?-y?!
National!
...holiday...
the General,
stout and long-nosed,
could utter words to make you giggle.
He could stand there on his big feet
with his tiny ears,
saluting a Major who
hadn't been cut in half.
The soldier dies!
Oh! To get a load of that, they've
all come to Champs-?lys?es to watch!
On the 14th of July,
Y?-y?!
National!
...holiday...
Me?
I took my umbrella out into the sunlight
and I went up to the fruit market
to buy one orange.
You know what they
say: It's good for you
to have one every day at breakfast.
And I got lost in a panic!
But just look, you don't say!
There goes the postman!
I'm telling you, a motorbike!
He said to me,
"Climb on behind.
"I'm delivering you to Champs-?lys?es."
So, I told him, finally,
"I don't mind if I do."
And I made
the most beautiful entrance in the
world passing through the Arc du Triomphe
This caused them all
to become so jealous!
They were howling at me like
they wanted to string me up!
Yay! It's the 14th of July!
Y?-y?!
National...!
...holiday...
Yet, behold!
Suddenly, behold!
The luminous,
radiant, blazing,
Y?-y?! Wow, wow, wow!
Charly, Wow, wow, wow!
comes along
to present me his head,
chopped off.
I was
wandering through the airwaves,
where I spied
the monstrous beast and his shadow
whose stirrings
are able to leave you blind drunk,
and whose changing shape is
able to render you a fortune!
Who turns right around
who must be concealed...
from the eyes.
You'd try to get away if you knew how.
What a sight
in the desert of the airwaves.
And who devours
those...
who can't answer the question
that it poses this way:
"What's the harm?"
It's the beast itself.
A monster the likes of which
- can only be passed around.
- Right!
Well, look around!
Just look around.
The monster's on the loose!
He's gonna put on the best
show! On the 14th of July...
Y?-y?! National...!
...holiday...
Well, I could
meet up with you
and present you
my head, chopped off.
It was on the 14th of July
that we first met each other,
And to the music of studded shoes
That hit the pavement in quick step,
while all the kids were dancing!
While we were making out,
worshipping each other,
While we were making love,
That's when all the soldiers
and rifles in France,
They all went AWOL to dance the Waikiki,
And then they ripped off
the medals they'd been given
They're gonna fuck, who
else? Charly de Gaulle!
It was on July 14th that I met you both,
I was wearing my smoking
jacket, my patent leather shoes.
We danced the jerk and
we danced the Waikiki.
We hit the floor without complications,
And I was flirting with you.
Charly suddenly got tired
so we went out together,
We kept on dancing,
We wandered around,
We did all the dance clubs,
We are going to soar
like birds,
over the plains,
seas and oceans...
- And the cities, engulfed in smoke,
- Charly?
We'll go up in smoke,
one with the gods...
we'll talk to them a little
about what happened down there.
- Here!
- Charly?
One needs...
One needs, all the
same, a strong stomach
to live through what we have.
Charly...
- Charly?
- Oh, Gigi...
We will go there.
Yes, later. Both of us.
Go to this little nook
at the end of the world,
where I've prepared a bed,
where I will serve you,
where you'll serve yourself.
But right now, let me go!
Let me go where the bird idly dreams
who's gone up in smoke...
Charly...
Charly...
Charly!
It was...
the 14th of July...
Y?-y?...
National...
holiday...
Eat.
Eat.
An apple?
The fruit of life, just one
bite from which a woman took
to forget
her unfaithful friend.
To forget?
To lose?
To find, too
To find... Simon...
Oh, Simon!
subtitles: depositio