Le coeur des hommes (2003) - full transcript

Corrected and synched
by Fingersmaster. Enjoy!

FRENCHMEN

Get lost!

- You guys are early.
- A couple of minutes.

- Were you sleeping?
- No, I wasn't.

- There's a woman smell in here.
- Are we interrupting some party?

- Are you alone?
- She's leaving now.

Who is she?

Do we know her?

Marie-Hélène,
this is Alex, Jeff and Antoine.

Hello.



- Have a good evening.
- Good evening, Ma'am.

Excuse me.

Manu's actually on fire.

Not anymore.
Granny must have put it out.

- Granny must be your age.
- Precisely.

Who is she?

She's a customer.
She lives next door.

- Do you see her often?
- No, she's married.

Her boyfriend is a nurse.
He's on duty one Sunday a month.

- Wasn't Elsa supposed to come?
- She was.

- Did you guys fight?
- What do you think?

Love is a bunch of violets...

Hi, Mom.

Yes, I'm still here.



I'll be right there.

All the city gates
will be jammed...

I get it, Mom.

I'll be there at seven.
Don't worry.

Take care.

I'm with you.

I'm with you guys.

It's my father. It's over.

She was cute.

She wanted to spend his last night
alone with him so bad.

You are my only love.

One pound sixty-five.

I said one pound.

This isn't a diet.
This is a hunger strike.

He wants to make me fat.

I've been feeding you for ten years
and you look great.

Dad?

It's Antoine on the phone.

Are you coming over for dinner?

I already told Jeff
I wasn't coming.

I'm off to see Mom. She's alone.

- Has your sister left already?
- My mother insisted.

I can't just leave her on her own.

Sure. Of course.

Alright. I'll see you later.

We are with you on that one.

There are circumstances in which
a phone should be turned off.

Don't be mad and leave your message
after the tone. Talk to you soon.

Why is your phone
always switched off?

Are you begging for money
in the subway?

Hi, Alex.

I'm alright.
Sorry, I'm with customers.

Do you know many women
who buy ham at 9am?

Many.

Lucky you.
All I'm going to see today is ties.

We all have our crosses to bear.

If Mr. and Mrs. Butt had a son,
what would they call him?

Harry. Harry Butt.

I've got to go, Manu.

I'll see you later.
We are with you.

You were late so I got started.

Why do you think I'm late?

Operating costs are excessive.

Twenty employees is a lot.
Your revenue is only 9 million.

We issue three magazines a month.
Twenty isn't a lot.

They all work fifty hours a week.
They don't count their hours.

- No branch ever works like that.
- We're not a branch.

You are our partners,
just like the Leroys.

Nothing has changed
since you became shareholders.

Your margin was a 14 per cent
back then.

It's twelve now.
What's wrong? Twelve is good.

- Our partners won't take the risk.
- We'll see.

Goodbye.

- Viviane.
- Bye, Alex.

Thanks, Alex.

Dimeglio at twelve. You're late.

- The recorder's ready?
- Right here.

- Batteries?
- Of course.

Don't tell me you never forgot.

Don't lose your temper
or have a cold shower.

Now that all bosses are socialists,
secretaries treat us like dogs.

Socialists. That's a good one.

- Let's write the Butel letter now.
- Good idea.

Was the shirt intentional?

Do you really think
I'd wear it just for you?

My God.

They got even bigger.
This is amazing.

- Nantes versus Montpellier?
- Nantes.

Tied game.

- Nantes.
- Tied.

Marseilles versus Bastia?

- Marseilles.
- Bastia.

What are you talking about?
They keep losing since 1928.

They'll lose
until they start winning again.

- He's right. Let's place one bet.
- I agree for one bet.

I see now. The whole city of Paris
is plotting against me again.

This isn't a plot.
This is a coalition.

The brawn's delicious.

All storekeepers moonlight, Manu.
But that's not my point.

It's like cyclists and doping,
it's in the culture now.

As one pays their taxes,
they steal their family.

This is a matter of opinion.
But you aren't a socialist.

- I don't see why.
- You're right-wing so who cares?

Stop arguing.

You're right-wing, admit it.
Why don't you guys tell him?

- We don't give a shit.
- We don't.

That's so convenient.

You've always been right-wing.

Since you were twenty.
A goalkeeper can't be a socialist.

They can't.
Goalkeepers are individualists.

They are.

Hi, Raymond.

They defend small territories
against the invaders.

It's a xenophobic
and a conservative position.

Even the title sucks. 'Goalkeeper'.

Did you read Barroné's interview?

I'm a conservative asshole
who runs a store.

I work 75 hours a week
so I don't have time to read.

Sure, 75 hours a week.

That's why three million people
are unemployed.

Why don't you shut up
and give me the money?

This game sucks.
Did we ever win anything?

We won 600,000 Euros last summer.

Completely slipped my mind.

I clearly remember
seeing you kiss that check.

Thank you, Dédé.

Manu's coming over tonight
after dinner.

If you're keen...

- I'm staying home tonight.
- Me too.

It's up to you guys.

Some men are free, some aren't.

And some are happy.

- Hi.
- Hi guys.

- How's your day been?
- I went to the movies twice.

Miller was sick again.

I'll write him a letter some day.

That would probably help.

- I can't just go and beat him up.
- Yes, you should.

- How are you?
- I'm fine.

- Didn't you get my messages?
- I've been on mobile strike.

Before one goes on strike,

the user must be informed
in order for him to get organized.

That one was a surprise strike.

A surprise strike
means major claims.

Things you've been claiming
for months.

This is a simple claim.

All I want is to do without
my phone when I choose to.

And without getting yelled at
if that's not too much to ask.

- You remembered to buy jam.
- I'm not sure you deserve it.

I do.

I can't believe it.

- Isn't that your Dad?
- I think it is.

Five to eight?
Something must have gone wrong.

You lost your job?
You killed someone?

My girl.

Your wife.

- You want a drink?
- Yes please.

Was your day good?

Works council,
then six afternoon meetings.

Great.

- You smoke in front of the kid?
- She smokes with the kid.

- Since when?
- Since I started smoking.

- Why didn't you tell me?
- Do you tell me everything?

There will be no weed smoking
in this house.

- You're not getting it back.
- Bastard.

- What was that?
- Charlotte, don't swear.

Sorry.

The word just came out.

Watch your mouth, Charlotte.
I'm warning you.

- Hi Mom.
- Hi.

What's that music?

'La Traviata'.

It's on the 'Pretty Woman'
soundtrack.

When he takes her
into his private jet.

Can't you remember?
You took us to see it.

For our 40th wedding anniversary.

We bought the disc the next day.

We used to listen to it
every night,

before we had dinner.

It's beautiful.

Eventually we felt stupid because
we kept listening to it again and again.

So we bought more discs.

We loved every one of them.

'Carmen', 'The Magic Flute',

'Tosca'...

You never told us that.

Your father didn't want to.

He was afraid you might think...

You know...

That you might think
we were pretending to be rich.

You want to have dinner now?

It's up to you.

I barely eat anything.

I bought blanquette.

In that case, forget what I said.

This was his favorite.

I used to tease him sometimes
when he was moved.

'Are you crying, darling?',
I would ask.

'No, I'm not',
he would answer back.

We had so much fun.

Are you alright?

What's wrong, sweetheart?

I feel bad.

I lied to you.

I don't want to lie to you.

Listen to me.

I love you.

So?

My phone was off

because some guy keeps calling me.

- What guy?
- You don't know him.

Listen to me, please.

Listen to what I have to say.

I love you.

I'm listening.

I had...

...an affair three months ago.

It's only happened once, I swear.

But I realized
it was a big mistake.

I never saw him again.

I'm so sorry.

It was the first time
and it will be the last.

I don't even know why I did that.

What are you doing?

- What are you doing?
- I don't want to hear it.

Shut up!

Antoine!

Antoine!

I'm sick of it!

Seriously,

I've been to 6 world cups
and 25 Roland Garros.

I want to do something else.

Like what, buddy?

Like retiring. I've been slogging
for thirty years.

I'm sick of them all.

'Hi, this is Jeff.
Leave a message, thank you.'

It's Elsa.

It's eleven. I'm home.
I wanted to tell you:

people apologize
when they are wrong.

She doesn't know you so well.

- She's young. She idealizes me.
- It's undeniable though.

You're as happy as a lark
when she's around. It's amazing.

That's true.

But I like to be single.

I'm not sure I want to change.
I'm not even sure I could do it.

And you? Don't you like
a little peace and quiet?

I'm not really
into peace and quiet.

I hate coming home
to find am empty house.

Buy yourself a cat.
Pussycats are good company.

Pussies are good company.

Was she hot?

Who's that?

The slut you banged today.

What are you talking about?

Do you really think I'm stupid?

Do you think I can't feel things?

When you make love to me,

I know that if it lasts so long,

it's because
you've done it already.

You're wrong. You're sick.
You suffer from paranoia.

It's your lying that makes me sick.

- It'd be alright if you told me.
- Sweetheart.

Come on.

We've been married for 17 years.

In all those years, you haven't
been reported anything suspicious.

Don't you think
you would have busted me by now?

Don't you?

Don't you think?

You could have found an old
hotel bill in one of my pockets.

Someone could have told you
I was seen kissing a girl.

Phone calls...

People hanging up
when you pick up the phone.

Don't you think?

Come on.

Look me in the eyes
and swear you never cheated on me.

I swear.

I never cheated on you.

Never, never.

I love you.

You're a bastard if you're lying.

I'm not a bastard.

And you know it.

I'm not lying.

Alright?

I start at eight tomorrow.

Good night.

I'll have to kill you one day.

Not tonight.

- What's the time?
- One o'clock.

- I chatted with Manu all night.
- You got buzzed.

- I just love to sleep with you.
- You don't seem to.

I'm an asshole.
I can't think of any other reason.

You're the most
beautiful girl on earth.

You say sensible things
only when you're drunk.

If you had your own key,
I wouldn't have to get up.

You could have slipped into bed
and taken me into your arms.

I'd feel bad if I did that.
I couldn't come over unexpected.

Like I owned this place.

You know you own me
so don't be silly.

HOME CALLING

Sandrine?

Remind your brothers:
Margot's wedding is in two weeks.

Do we have to go?

- Sure, Margot's your friend.
- Was.

Tell them this is not up
for discussion anyway.

Miss?

How can I help you?

Can I make on order
and pop back in later?

Sure, I'll make a list.

Saveloy...

Stuffed vine leaves,
anchovy pizza...

Greek-style mushrooms...

- For how many people?
-Two.

You make these too.

Opera...

These little strawberry things...

One... No, two mille-feuille.

Do you have sorbet?

Sure.

Dad? It's Antoine on the phone.

Sorry. I'll call him back.

I'm all ears.

Say hello to the kids from me.

Joëlle? Hi, this is Jeff.

I'm not coming to work today.
I'm sick.

I don't care about the appointment.
You don't mind taking days off.

I'll take one day off.
You want to make a big deal of it?

There you go. Your turn now.

I can't do that. I have a boss.

That's what pisses me off.

- How many sick leaves this year?
- None.

None?

You should be decorated for that.

You're probably the only employee
who hasn't missed a day of work.

You're just another
arrogant and sexist boss.

Switch off your phone.

Let's stay in bed all day, alright?

- No way.
- Just call them.

Women get lower wages than men

so it counterbalances sick leaves.

So if you're never sick,
your company makes profit.

Do you get it?

I'm not a fool.

It's up to you.

Your boss doesn't deserve you.

What do you call him again?

How can I help you?

Karine, this is Elsa.

- Can I speak to Ox tongue?
- Sure, hang on.

The poor man.

Hi, this is Jeff.
Leave a message, thank you.

I'd like to spend a real night
with you some time.

Me too.

It would easy with your kind of job
if you wanted to.

You can always pretend
you've been held up at a meeting.

I never do that.

You're a young girl with no values

who keeps lying to her husband.

I'm old-fashioned,
I feel bad to lie.

You feel bad when it suits you.

Yes?

Hi, Antoine.

I can't talk right now.

I'm in the neighborhood.
I'm taking Arthur to lunch.

Do you have time?

- Can I pop over for coffee?
- Sure.

Are you alright?

I'll see you later.
Say hi to Arthur.

I'll have to leave you
since you won't leave me.

We knew this was going
to happen anyway.

- You don't seem to care.
- That's not true.

It would be silly
to miss out on you

just because I know
we'll have to split up.

Awesome.

We both know that I'll soon be sick
of getting laid in a hotel room.

And as you put your clothes back on
for the last time, I'll say:

'It's over, there's someone else.'

Could you spare me
the 'there's someone else' part?

I know there would be anyway.

I'll say it only to piss you off.

Do you want to have lunch?

How's the morning been?

I left at half past eight.
Mom was still in bed crying.

Then I had a French
and a geography lesson.

- Bon appétit.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Why don't you guys
tell me what happened?

It's too complicated.

Kids can't be bothered
with adult stuff.

I'm sure I could understand.

That's not what I meant.

If I tell you,

you'll have an opinion on what
happened and you'll take sides.

And that's something...

We don't want that.

Did you cheat on her?

I didn't.

Arthur, please.
Don't try to find out.

I can't think of anything anyway.

Any calls for me?

- Was she hot?
- Who's that?

- The slut you just banged?
- I'm having lunch with my banker.

- At a hotel? Sure.
- Don't believe me then.

Hopefully, you're better
in bed than in business.

- Mr. Desmarais is here.
- Let him in.

- Don't disturb us.
- Yes, sir.

Listen up.

I've had enough of the sir thing.

Is Antoine listening?

Unless he's deaf, he can.

You guys get on well.

She'll end up selling sandwiches
in the street.

Have a seat.
Do you want something to drink?

Water will be fine.
You're not too busy, are you?

Not at all. That's the good
thing about monthly papers.

There's always time to chill.

Are you alright?

You sounded funny on the phone.

What is it?

How nice of you. You're lovely.

Did you hear that? 'You're lovely'.

Leave me your number.

In case I need a witness
for the trial.

You're a pain now.

Isn't she funny?

I like that.

You were with her when I called?

Are you crazy? She's pregnant.
And I'm not the father.

The one you were with,
is she married?

Yes.

How can you guys do that?

I don't know.

Do they say why they do it?

If they had a good time with their
husbands, they wouldn't do it.

It makes sense.

- They're more sensible than us.
- Than you.

Than me.

Nanou knows you're cheating on her.

She doesn't know. She has doubts

but she doesn't have proof.

You guys never saw me
with another woman.

What would you say
if she did the same?

What could I say?

All I could do then
would be to shut my mouth.

And pray God she doesn't leave me.

Love is a beautiful thing.

Don't close it. I'm here.

I'm sorry.

Sorry.
It completely slipped my mind.

- I'm so sorry.
- There's no problem.

Your order is ready.
I kept it cold in the fridge.

- Are you driving?
- No, I'm not.

It's alright. I live next door.

Six bottles is quite heavy.

- I'll help you.
- This is embarrassing.

- There's no elevator.
- So you do need help.

That's very kind of you.

How stupid. How stupid I am.

No.

- I'm sorry.
- What's the matter?

It's just that I can't pay you

because I forgot to take my basket.

It's nothing. Don't cry.

Sorry, I will.

I'm feeling so tired lately,
it's terrible.

I don't feel very well.

Everyone has their bad moments.

I know.

Sorry.

- Thank you.
- Here you go.

The thing is
I always new he was a jerk.

From the very first day.

Really.

Didn't you?

I can't say that.
We lived together six years.

Six or two years
is pretty much the same.

- Did you have children?
- We didn't.

You look like someone
who likes children.

Thank you.
I had three with my first wife.

I should have been a psychologist.

- I'm not sure about that.
- Aren't you?

How long did you stay
with the last one?

Sixteen years.

That's a long time.

Congratulations.

This is so good.

I love it.

I feel good with you.

I've never felt that good.

You sound like
it's a terrible thing to happen.

Don't be scared.
I'm not going to propose.

- I'm not scared.
- Yes, you are.

Don't be.
I don't want to marry you.

You've done it once.
I don't want to go second.

I'm only interested
in what you can get once.

Like a love that lasts for ever.
You know?

I don't want you
to just feel good with me.

I want unconditional love.

Waiter, can I get the check please?

It's how I feel when you're away.

I feel unconditional love.
I can't help it.

Men who say those things
are usually called liars.

So that's what you are. A liar.

But I'm not lying.

I'm sure you'll feel
unconditional love for me one day.

Are you?

- You're sure.
- I'm certain of it.

But I might be gone already.

Why would you? I'm perfect.

Because I have a life to live.

It can be with or without you
but not in between.

We're not in between. I'm with you.

What do you...

How would it be like
if you could choose?

I don't know what you want.

I'll tell you.
First, ditch your shitty apartment.

- Shitty?
- It's the right term, I think.

Then, I'll pack it all up here
and we can move

into an apartment
that we can choose together.

Like a nest in which to love each
other and start a family.

- Are you serious?
- I am.

The young guy from the newsstand
asked me out for a drink tonight.

The weak kid with the long hair?

Son of a bitch.

Did you go?

You've got to be kidding.

You're a dead man the day
I'm ready to accept such offers.

You'll get the whole thing.

Private detective and photos.
American style.

You'll get it all.

A real fairy tale.

You're a dreamer.

I couldn't live without you.

Just like I couldn't live
without oxygen.

Or without a heart.

There are few things
that are really vital

when you think about it.

You sound like you're taking
my love for granted.

But it's not granted.

It could vanish tomorrow.

I could stop loving you overnight.
It could happen.

Everything can happen.

It happens to many women.

Their husband comes home at night,

and it's over.

He looks revolting to them.

They'd rather see him dead
than fuck him.

We drank a hell of a lot.

- It's good to bend the rules.
- It's not a rule.

I always drink that much,
not only when I get ditched.

Don't you?

More or less.

I'd like to ask you something.

- But you're going to say no.
- You can always ask.

It's the thought
of having to sleep on my own

up there in my waste ground
that worries me.

I don't see what
I could say no to.

I'd like to sleep with you
but not have sex with you.

I've said it now.

Forget it. I can't ask you that.

Yes, you can.
What's wrong with that?

- Really?
- Yes.

But if I manage to fall asleep

by your side without touching you,
won't you be offended at all?

You think you'll get over it?

I never thought so much kindness
could fit in one man.

The Dalai Lama
is not doing too bad.

Close your eyes.
I'm not a pretty sight.

- Should I turn off the lights now?
- Yes.

- Manuel?
- Yes?

- Can I give you a hug?
- What do you call a hug?

This.

This is an alright hug.

- I had a very good time.
- Me too.

Are you getting hard?

Not at all.

You liar!

They can be very invasive

and very stress-inducing.

Don't get married, I love you.

Tasty cheeses for tasty people.

Have a good weekend.

- Miller?
- Yes?

I'm sick of you, asshole.

Who are you? Are you crazy?

Yes, I'm crazy.
I'm feeling very crazy lately.

Stop it!

Leave me alone!

- Yes?
- Can I speak to Manuel Bossères?

- Speaking.
- This is detective Moreno.

- Hi, can I please talk...
- Don't bother, Manu.

Saturdays are dead.
Jeff has gone. I'm alone.

Antoine is in trouble.

- They took him to the station.
- I can't believe it.

The guys is in the hospital.

Manu's a killer when he's mad.
Did you call Lili?

She didn't hear from him
since Thursday night.

- He left after they had a fight.
- I see.

So the teacher
wasn't exactly Lili's...

No, he teaches Arthur.

Antoine was mad
because he was always away.

My cab's here.
Sorry, I'm running late.

No problem, Ms.
Thank you for coming on a Saturday.

- Goodbye.
- I'll call you on Monday.

- You've been most helpful.
- Have a nice weekend.

Where did you find that intern,
at some club?

We've known her for a long time
and she's really good.

Let's go back to the car.

You still don't want
to answer any question?

No.

I'm sure it'll suit you.
If it does, you can have it.

You think you're Robin Hood?

Giving away your old clothes
to the poor.

You're talking shit.

- Don't you feel like that?
- No.

I'm not rich, you're not poor
and this isn't an old suit.

It cost me 400
and I've worn it twice.

200 Euros a night
and you're not rich?

Rich is when you get your jet?

- Well...
- It suits me, sure.

It probably doesn't suit you
if you want to give it to me.

If you want to get rid of it, deal.

That's nice of you.

Remember how he scored this goal.
It was back in 1981

during the game
France versus Cyprus.

- Not bad.
- That was a top-corner goal.

- I scored forty of those.
- I didn't.

Have you ever won anything
in Cabourg?

Never.

We're off to the beach,
we're not going to gamble.

You're right.

I'll gamble as much as I want to.

If being cheated on brings luck,
I'll rob the bank.

Fourteen...

Nineteen, twenty, seventeen...

Bank. Eleven, thirteen, twenty-one.

Well...

- Where's our lucky player?
- It's been a while.

If he's still taking a piss,
we'll have to call a doctor.

No, go away!

I don't want to see your damn faces.

I'm sick of seeing them,
do you get that?

Get lost! It's over!

Over!

You didn't sleep with his wife, right?

- You're pushing it.
- I'm only asking.

Just to be sure.

To be sure?

You need to ask to be sure?

What are you doing here
if you think I'm a bastard?

I don't think you're a bastard,
I think you're sick.

Cut it out. That's enough.

Why did you have to call him sick?

- It's the truth.
- So what?

If we always said the truth,
we wouldn't be friends anymore.

- That's what you think?
- Sure.

I'm certain of it.

It's silly to mess it all up
for such a little thing.

Sure, it's nothing.

She opened her legs
for him to put his dick in.

A daily routine for you.

It's not the same,
I have a condition.

You're not going to split right away.

I understand that you're mad,

but you won't be angry for ever.

I'm not angry, I'm hurt.

I'll cope better with it
if I stop seeing her everyday.

It's stupid.

Thank you for that very
constructive and helpful comment.

It's stupid to leave a woman you love

just because she made one mistake.

I know leftists
that would call you a fascist.

That comment wasn't silly.
You're making a big mistake.

I don't have a choice.
That's physically impossible.

I can't look her in the eye.

It's a test.
You have to accept that.

He's a Buddhist butcher now?

- I'm sorry.
- It's alright.

I know it's probably normal
after fifteen years.

I know it can happen to anybody
and all that.

I'm a moron cause I thought
we weren't just anybody.

I thought it wouldn't happen to us.

If I were the guy I'd like to be,
I'd go back there but...

But I can't.

Without confidence,
how can you live with anyone?

I'm off to bed.

Me too.

I'll get a bit of fresh air.

Wait, guys.

We haven't decided
who's going to suck me off.

I'll be back anyway.

I miss you too.

No.

I love that.

You make me laugh.

Because we have love
and laughter at the same time.

It mixes perfectly.

I love you.

The Spice Girls
aren't what they used to be.

In the meantime,

you can always come to my place
and I'll stay at Elsa's.

- If you don't mind.
- I'm offering you to come.

You can stay at my place too,
of course.

But I'm not single.

What kind?

Thirty-five, friendly and pretty.

Of course. What does she do?

Well, I don't know.

She waits for me.

I'll sleep at your place.

Manu's place
will be a little love nest.

I'm not in the mood for that.

You're smiling.

I was afraid
you might not smile at me.

You'll call me crazy.

I wanted to see your face
if you found me here.

I've been here for ages,
you're late.

I agree, I'll call you crazy.

No, wait.

I'd like to show you
something first.

Close your eyes.

It's right here in the living-room.

That's right. Come here.

Come on, open.

Open your eyes.

You don't like it?

I thought you hated decorating.

I know.

It's a miracle.

I'm glad to see you.

I'm off to pick up Arthur
at my parents'.

I'm late. I'll get told off.

Give him time. He'll come back.

He will.

- Is he staying at Manu's?
- At Jeff's.

Goodbye.

When did she get here?

Last night, she slept here.

How is Antoine?

Same as her.

Who's that guy she slept with?

A teacher she met at the school.

He was crazy about her.
They flirted for 6 months.

She finally went to his place.

She had a terrible time.
She left after twenty minutes.

- Is he young?
- Twenty-eight.

What a waste.

...those who could swim.

But some got caught
inside the ferry-boat

The ship was a three-Decker.

3,000 of them are operational
in the country.

They don't usually keep registers.

Hi, this is Jeff.
Leave a message, thank you.

Hi, Jeff.

It's Lili.

Aren't you at home?

Alex told me
Antoine was staying at your place.

I'd like to talk to him

but his phone's
always switched off.

Tell him to call me back.

Tell him I miss him.

Alright.

See you later.

Tell him I love him.

That he's the only one for me.

I feel sorry for them.

They matched together so well.

You speak in the past.

It can never be the same again.

How do you know?

I know them. We chatted for hours
back in Le Lavandou.

He won't be proud of her anymore.
That will kill her.

Maybe she was tired of him
being proud of her.

Of him looking up to her.

Maybe she wanted to be treated
like a bitch now and again.

Which she is.

You are evil.

I couldn't stand it
if you weren't proud of me.

- Nantes versus Marseilles.
- Nantes.

- Nantes, the canaries.
- Can I say something?

You wasted our money on Marseilles
versus Bastia last week.

What happened?
Bastia got bashed as I told you.

I'm telling you
that Marseilles is going to win.

So be nice guys
and place a bet on Marseilles too.

Why? Let's just stick to the rule.

I'll tell you why.

If Marseilles wins, you guys
will catch a bullet in the head.

- I'll take the risk.
- Me too.

- Paris versus Troyes.
- Paris.

My ass.

The weather's perfect.
Your daughter's lucky.

Lucky?

- The guy's not bad. He's cool.
- Sure.

- He's the coolest.
- He hates him.

I'm just saying
he's not strong enough.

She'll break him up into pieces.

He'll lodge
a complaint in six months.

- What can you do about it?
- Nothing.

I've tried everything I could do.

If I say
I'm not going to the wedding,

I'll keep my money
and I'll become worse than Hitler.

You can't be against your child.

You become excluded in your family
and nobody talks to you.

You become a leper.

Yes, you can laugh.

You'll see when it's your turn.

You know what?

I don't feel
like going to this wedding.

- But it's happening now.
- It's imminent.

Don't be so sure.
There's hope until she says yes.

She can say no at the last minute,
just like in the movies.

It's devastating in the movies.

But I will probably come out
and start dancing.

She said no, she said no...

What if he says no?

If he says no?

I'll nail him up his front door

if he says no.

- Don't be late, alright?
- Don't worry.

Let's go.

- Hi, Dédé.
- Hi, gentlemen.

- Can we have coffee?
- Sure.

What about Françoise?

Same as before.

- He'll have to talk to her.
- He says he won't.

- I know he told you what she did.
- He didn't.

I swear.

It must be something very private
that must be kept secret.

Like...

He was seen in an orgy
fucking everyone around.

You're really sick, you know.

Not that kind of guy.

How do you know?
You never know.

Hi.

Dad?

What's wrong, darling?
Why are you crying?

- I'm afraid it might be a mistake.
- Don't do it then.

Very good job.

I can't. Everything's ready now.

I love him, Dad.

I told you it's good to love.
But that's not enough.

You're feeling a bit depressed.
It's alright.

Your dress suits you perfectly.

It's like you were born in it.
Look at yourself.

You're beautiful too. Hi, my girl.

How are you?

If I had AIDS,
I wouldn't tell you right now.

- Lovely.
- Hey.

Let's have a drink.

Do you want me to come up again?

- Are you going to sulk all day?
- Call me when you're ready.

Dad, this is my wedding.

Precisely. Don't mix things up.

Today is your wedding.
Not the big amnesty day.

Dad?

Mr. Jean-Noël Edmond Crouzet,

do you take Margot Yvonne Rachel
Buchbinder to be your wife?

I do.

Miss Margot Yvonne Rachel
Buchbinder, do you take

Mr. Jean-Noël Edmond Crouzet
to be your husband?

I do.

By the powers vested in me,
I now pronounce you man and wife.

You guys met playing football?

Yes, it was back at the Melun club.

Was it already
an eleven-player game back then?

You're the funny guy of the group.

What were your positions?

Have a guess.

The main players
are right in front of you.

- I figure you were a goalkeeper.
- That's right.

Forward?

He can tell a champion
when he sees one.

Alex Bertoni aka the alien.

- 422 games, 350 goals scored.
- 30 with his hand.

You...

- Midfielder?
- Not at all.

Sweeper.
The white Thuram, they called me.

He wasn't born then.

Don't be cheeky.
They are, aren't they?

I'm not too sure about you.
You could be a winger.

He called you a fag.

Watch out, buddy.

Your stepfather was number 10.

He taught Platini
how to score a top-corner goal.

He wasn't very good at first.

- He got better then.
- Well...

I'll be right back.

I know you so well.

Stop.

- Let go of me.
- Stop it.

- You don't hate me that much.
- Don't be too sure.

Why do you treat me like that?

Don't you think...

Do it for Margot.

She has other fish to fry.

I may ruin her wedding
but you ruined my life.

If you can't even be nice to me

on a day like this, I...

Don't be mean.

I don't know what to say.

There's nothing to say.

It's just sad.

Don't overdo it.

You'll be drunk in a hour,
ready to make everyone laugh.

Do it for me. Ask her for a dance.

It's useless.

It's been fifteen years.

It's been a year since I got well.

That's the problem.

I have fond memories of our affair.

Those three days in Seville,

I cherish that memory
deep inside my heart.

We can talk about it now.

How long ago was it?
Do you remember?

It was eight years ago.

He must have fucked her.

He got plenty of time.

- The husband's friend's a classic.
- Not her.

I'm sure.

You're so innocent.

How come you never tried
anything with me?

The husband's friend is a classic.

It might be a classic
but it's not my style.

The manly friendship again.
Hands off the friends' wives.

It's a load of rubbish.
I don't believe it.

You should.

I always thought I wasn't your type.

You are exactly my type.

If you weren't Jeff's wife
and if I wasn't married of course,

I'd kill
to spend one night with you.

The gym teacher now.
She's the queen of the party.

- Relax.
- That's alright.

He doesn't know
what she did but you do.

- You still made a move.
- I didn't make a move.

It's all you can do.
You're pathetic.

You're pathetic, I mean it.

You find it funny?

I enjoy a good sense of humor.
It makes me stronger.

The only thing I blame you for

is to sulk
on your daughter's wedding day.

You can't blame me for anything.

Considering your attitude,
you can't blame me.

You can't.

I never knew you danced that well.

Françoise is inspiring.
She knows how to move.

She knows how to move.

Here's Antoine.

- What's he up to? It's 12.
- It's five to.

What's up, faggots?

I'll go back, I feel like dancing.

- Don't be too sexy.
- I'll be sexy if I want to.

The guy told it wasn't a very
docile breed when I bought it.

I don't know about you.
I'm confident about tonight's game.

You're always confident.

The bride's father
is in a teasing mood.

I rocked with Françoise.

Have you? Manu...

You rocked with Françoise.
Are you crazy?

- He lost it.
- You should keep a low profile.

- You're a pain.
- I'm a pain?

She's been family for twenty years
and now we can't dance with her?

Thanks for joining us!

I think that on a day like this,

you could make an effort to...

Cut it out. I've been given
enough shitty advice.

Don't you want to say something?

Nothing but I don't like your tone.

He's funny, he's ready to fight.

I'll hit him when I get a chance.

Don't miss cause
you don't get a second chance.

Promises.

Let's go and sit over there.

I hope Marseilles will get bashed,
otherwise he'll get cheeky.

He'll sing to us tonight.

I hope I will, asshole.

Bordeaux versus Metz: 2 to 1.

Paris versus Troyes: 2 to 0.

Lille versus Auxerre: 3 to 1.

Come on, Marseilles sucks!

Big surprise in Nantes:

Marseilles wins 2 to 0.

There you go. Who's fucked now?

It's three to one with you
and I get fucked every time.

Fucked. Fucked.

I was so close to getting
that fucking money.

You'll get money.
We should get 2,000 Euros each.

If you're satisfied with that,
fuck off and go play cards.

This makes me fucking crazy.

I should sue you for stealing
from me. You stole from me.

I would have that money now.
But I don't.

Neither do we.

Hang on a second.
It's your fault anyway.

Your heads are big and empty.

Marseilles sucks! Fucking idiots!

I knew your fucking canaries
would get bashed.

I told you again and again
in vain.

It's like water off a duck's back.

I'd put water on a chick's back.

So would I.

Take cover. Here come the kids.

Where are you going?

It's so good.

That was clever.

You guys suck.

You're stupid and pathetic.

You wouldn't laugh
if I had a heart attack.

How old are your sons, Manu?

Twenty-one and twenty-three.

Aren't they too old
to hang out with the girls?

Don't worry, they have condoms.
They told me.

I thought about something, Antoine.

I didn't realize it before,

but seeing Nanou,
Françoise and the kids

and you on your own,
it's not right.

Oh, God.

That's a very
interesting comment there.

I didn't feel bad
when I saw Jeff or Manu alone.

We thought it was normal.

But with you, it seems wrong.

We can all feel that.

Enough! Cut it out!

Why can't you guys give me a break?

Listen.

I kept silent until now
as you noticed

but Alex is right.

Lili is your life
so even if it's hard...

You don't have a choice.

You'll have to wipe
the slate clean some day.

Talking is so easy.

Why don't you wipe
Françoise's slate clean?

Is what she did worse?

You don't know
what you're talking about.

She got an abortion
without your knowing 15 years ago.

We all knew about that.

Lili told me, I told Manu.

I'm sure you told Alex.

Let's talk about it.
What do you think is worse?

I don't know if it's worse.

But it didn't take your wife
15 years to tell you the truth.

She must have thought
I'm a bastard to do that to me.

As if I could have hit her
or something.

The pill's difficult to swallow.

Same here, I don't swallow.

Swallowing or not swallowing
is all you care about.

What the fuck!

I thought your oversized brains

would be interested
in something else than digestion.

That you would ask yourself
the right questions.

Like what?

Like 'what would I do
if I weren't an asshole'?

You might find out
the answer's right there.

But you need to ask yourself
the right question.

You're pissing me off!

All of you!

Hi.

Are you busy? I know it's early.

Are you alone?

No, Viviane is sleeping.

Do you want to make us coffee?

Sure.

Don't worry, I don't have cancer.

I'm not here
to borrow money either.

Everything's fine.

Can I have a mug?

They're under the table.

Are you alright?

Did Margot enjoy her wedding?

I think she did.

How are you?

Not too bad.

How's your work going? Good?

It's alright.

The British aren't
too much trouble?

They are.
They think they own the place.

That must makes you mad.

I'm changing.
I don't get mad like I used to.

- It was probably my fault.
- You said that.

We should have dinner
with the girls some night.

It's been a while.

Two years. Last time was
Viviane's 16th birthday.

Jean-Noël will join us this time.

Does he have to?
Can't we see her without him?

- He's her husband.
- So?

How would you have felt
if I had done that to you?

- It's not the same.
- How isn't it the same?

It was a different time.

Staying together all the time
doesn't make sense anymore.

You're so modern.
Is that the youth effect?

If you want us to be friends,
you shouldn't say that.

I was only kidding.

Alright...

Ask her... them
about that dinner.

Whenever you guys can.
I'll give you a call.

Are you going now?

I have a meeting at the company
in half an hour, sorry.

I wanted to make sure and see you
before going to the office.

- In case you changed your mind?
- No.

I'm 53 and time is running out.

I'm happy.

Me too.

We totally agree on that.

It's crucial and urgent for you

to reduce payroll costs.

- How much less?
- 150,000 a month.

There has to be a couple of
employees you want to get rid of.

It's not as simple as that.

I have a much more simple way.

You can keep my salary.
With the taxes, it covers it all.

I'm out.

I'll sell my shares.
My lawyer will contact you.

We agreed on everything else
so this meeting's over.

Goodbye, gentlemen. Miss.

You're a temperamental person.
You're impossible to work with.

Get out of here quickly before
you get my temper in the face.

This is such a relief.

It's not for me.

You're wrong.

You won't see my face, you won't
have to ask for my opinion...

I held you back.

So now you're doing me a favor.

You want me to buy your shares?

Naturally.
15 plus 20 equals 35 per cent.

You'll be the biggest shareholder.

I'll run into debts
to pay for your pension.

I can always sell to the Leroys.

I don't want to talk about it now.

Give me some time to process this.

You're so selfish.

Alright, come on.

Write any price.
I'll look at it later.

This is pissing me off.

Just write anything.

A jerk like you knows his price.

Write it down, I'm not looking.

Retirement's boring, you know?

And you'll grow old quickly.

Well...

He's definitely disturbed.
What did you say to him?

What can I say? He's a big boy.

I'm late. I'm having lunch
with the guys from the ad agency.

Pop over for a drink.
You're not working?

- We're not going anywhere.
- No, we're not.

You're still in bed.

Exactly.

I see. She's a winner.
What's her name again?

- Juliette.
- I bet Juliette's on the market.

No, she's not.

I'll see you later.

Do you realize...

that we've known each other
for ten days?

We're madly in love.

We shouldn't have been separated
for one second.

You already spent two weekends
with your friends.

And today, our second Monday,

you're off to see your mother.

Today is her birthday.

You always find excuses.

But facts speak for themselves.

Why can't you just admit it?

Are your friends
as sexist as you are?

Compared to them, I'm a faggot.

They're very nice, you'll see.

I don't want to see them just now.

I know they'll hate me.

They can't hate you
since I love you.

You say that you love me

only because I said it first.

Otherwise,
you would never have said that.

Men are dark.

We need to talk.

I can't talk to you.

I don't want to be here.

I can't stand it.
It hurts too much.

I love you, Antoine.

You love me too.

Otherwise,
you wouldn't be like this.

Let me try to explain.

I understand, it's just
that I can't live with it.

That's because
you don't understand.

Don't you understand
it doesn't count?

Doesn't it?

It doesn't.
It's like I never did anything.

But you don't believe me.

You don't believe me
when I say it doesn't count.

I should have just
kept my mouth shut.

Memories would be gone by now.

We can't go on like this.
I miss you.

I have to go.
I need to pick up Arthur.

Guess what that jerk said
in the elevator?

What?

I got that.

The two brown noses laughed.

I'll look after those two.

Yes?

I'll pay the bill
and I'll be right there.

You'll be right where?

The photo for the front cover
has arrived

and it's blurred.
I've got to go back.

Are you kidding me?
I took the afternoon off.

I'm sorry.
This isn't just about me.

I can't make them work
just to be with you.

I don't give a damn.
Who do you think you are?

I'm sick of this relationship.

You're right.

This is going nowhere.

- We should stop.
- I feel sorry for you.

Sure we'll stop.

I knew you wanted to stop.
I'm sick of it too.

- But you're too cowardly to tell.
- Not at all.

Shut up!
You make me sick, asshole!

You'd better watch out.
I'll talk to your wife.

I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her we fucked in the elevator.

You bastard,
I'll tell her everything.

Asshole!

You're a total jerk!

You piece of shit!

It's blurred. 'Best tennis racket'.

You can hide part of the title
using the racket here.

- Alex?
- I said do not fucking disturb.

Do you want me to call security?

Bring it back
before you send it out.

Yes?

The janitor at the Hotel du Parc
wants to talk to you.

I'm sorry for that, Pierrot.

The bathroom's a mess too.

ALEX BERTONI HAS A SMALL DICK.

Love is a beautiful thing.

Jeff's here. See you.

You're not hugging me?

- Should I do that?
- I was hoping you would.

I feel shy because of you.

But you're a lucky man.
I'm a modern girl.

Push the rewind button here.

I like it
when you come over unexpected.

- How are you?
- I never felt that good.

- I have something to tell you.
- What?

Let's go somewhere else. I can't
walk and talk at the same time.

It's something Manu said
that made me think of this.

On the way back,
I couldn't stop wondering

about something
we should all wonder about.

What would I do
if I weren't an asshole?

I thought
of many things I would do.

But what I wanted above all
was to stop working.

Do you know what you want
to do instead?

Nothing.

Chill out, preferably in the sun.

A lot of guys think they'd drop
everything to chill out in the sun,

but they never do it.

They say they might go when they
find the girl they want to go with.

They never find the girl
and they never go.

I'm lucky cause I found my girl.

- I have no reason to be hesitant.
- You don't.

How about burying yourself away
with a retired man in the South?

I'm not too sure.
I'll have to think about it.

What a bastard! Just wait and see.

Relax. I had the most terrible day.

How much does he sell his 20%?
Give me a good laugh.

- You tell us. Here.
- What is it?

1.4 million?

That's what it's worth.

I don't get it.

We should borrow money so he can
chill while you work twice as much?

It's not that simple.
It's a great opportunity too.

I'll be the boss and nobody
will be a pain to me anymore.

I'll be rich in ten years.

In ten years, I'll be gone.

No, you won't.

I can wait to see your face
when it actually happens.

Take a picture.
We'll look at it when we're old.

We are old.

Lock yourself up in the kitchen
and turn on the gas then.

Great.

Good morning.

Already up?

Are my toasts ready?

They're ready to get toasted.

I'll do it for you.

I know Jeff well.
It's perfect now.

It's summer
but wait and see winter.

He'll end up with slippers on,
listening to the wind.

- You don't like it but he might.
- That's not what I meant.

You can't change a 53 year-old man.

He'll read the sports news in the
morning then what will he do?

Crosswords?

Aren't you driving a bit fast?

Millions of drivers
on the roads today...

Will we get our own room?

Sure, we aren't staying
at a mountain hut.

Have you ever made love
in front of other people?

- That's called an orgy.
- Not always.

Have you?

I asked you first.

She's going faster.
Flash your lights.

She's got Jeff's daughter,
he'll be furious.

Cicadas.

They won't believe it.

What time is it?

You said you wanted to do
without a watch

but you keep asking for the time.

It's two past one.

Don't you get any reception here?

What?

- Don't you ever use your phone?
- What's a phone?

- It feels good here.
- Welcome home.

- You look ten years younger.
- Only ten?

It's not that bad.

It makes me want to do the same.

A house somewhere around here
would be perfect.

- I'd love that.
- Sandrine is doing good.

I can take days off now.

I can go on vacation
which would be good for my mom.

It would be good for Juliette too.

I want to stay free
to do what I want for now.

It's just the beginning.
I'll see how it goes.

What are you talking about?
You'll make her a widow.

- Sure.
- There's no rush.

What about you?
Are you still in rut?

I'm slowing it down. Too much work.

- I can't believe it.
- Slowing it down.

I had to leave
for him to slow it down.

I haven't moved an ear
since Jeff left.

We're not talking about ears.

Not even Joëlle in your office?

The office doesn't count.

I hope our little nap
hasn't been cancelled.

We'll take a little nap too.

- We can't cancel the nap.
- See you now, sweetheart.

Sweetheart...

The man's at her beck and call.
I had to see that once.

She's an angel.

I thank God every morning.

You should.

I think she's pregnant.

- You've got to be kidding!
- Don't say anything.

She wants to be sure.
Just like in American movies.

But I'm not American.

She cuddles up like an old cat.
Françoise was the same.

So was Nanou when she was pregnant.

We were like animals in heat.

What about you?

How was your vacation with Arthur?

I was a bit scared at first.
Our first vacation on our own.

But it's been really great.

Are you still at Manu's?

I'm the fifth wheel.

I want to rent a flat
that's not shitty.

I'll grab my sunglasses.

- Doesn't he know?
- He doesn't.

- I hope we did right.
- We did.

Are you guys up
for a game of bowls?

Come on. Let's play.

- It's this way.
- It'll make digestion easier.

We'll see if you got any better.

I've played with the guys
around here. I'm a killer.

Sure, champions
are good at every sport.

He's good at talking, mostly.

It's a local specialty around here.

By the way,
whenever we're in the bar,

don't mention soccer.
I don't want to be expelled.

I can still shout
'Marseilles sucks'.

Some dumbass did that last year.
They ate him up on town square.

You should watch out.
They're primitive people.

Do you think we're stupid?

I can't believe
you haven't seen the wolf.

- Who's the wolf?
- We saw it.

But we read the Red Riding Hood
so we didn't let him in.

I would have loved to see you
with wilder girls. Poor girls.

Bullshit.

This is pure slander.

We're the first generation
to marry girls that aren't virgins.

It was inconceivable before.

We could have resisted.

- But we evolved.
- Good job.

We gave up all our privileges

to allow women
to undergo a mutation.

You should really quit crack, Dad.

You should have stopped us
from doing that.

Freedom is a guy thing.

We don't like being free.
We like to be enslaved.

You'll get shorn.

I prefer when the guy's enslaved.

Love is a bunch of violets

Love is sweeter
than these little flowers

When happiness beckons you
and stops on your way

You must seize it
and not wait for tomorrow

Love is a bunch of violets

How are you, son?

We drove 800 kilometers
at 80 kilometers an hour.

My husband hates speeding.

I can't drive fast anymore.

Hi.

I saw Alex and Manu
at the club last Monday.

We talked and they told me
why you had gone.

Jeff called us to ask us
to come here and meet up with you.

Mom was scared. She thought
you might not love her anymore.

You know her, right?

I told her it would probably
make you happy to see us.

You were right.

I thought
you would never come back.

I didn't like living without you.

What was your job
when you met them?

I was a cook
in a restaurant in Melun.

- Then you went self-employed.
- Almost twenty years ago.

I used to run a small restaurant
called 'The grizzly bear'.

'The grizzly bear'?

No kidding?

This is insane.

- Something else we have in common.
- What do you mean?

I used to work as a bear stuffer.

- As a bear stuffer?
- Yes.

Don't laugh, I'm serious.
That was back in Vancouver.

I worked for two months
in a factory with a friend.

Our job consisted
in stuffing bears.

Teddy bears.

I'm not kidding.

I thought about something.

We shouldn't waste too much time
if we want a kid.

I don't have a hundred years.

Actually,

I wanted to be sure to tell you,

but I think I'm pregnant.

You knew it.

I'm so happy.

It had been a while
since we were all together.

It feels funny.

Funny how?

It feels weird.

Four couples is too many.
We don't match statistics.

Some couples should break up soon.

Possibly before the end
of this vacation.

And you think that might be ours.

We've lived together 17 years.
Why should we crack now?

You're right.
We're not at risk.

We're a model for all families.

They'll erect a statue
as a tribute to us.

It's beautiful at dawn.

It's like the dawn of life.

This place is teeming with rabbits.

I even saw a squirrel yesterday.

Aren't you going to be bored
in the winter?

Why should I be? I'm never bored.

I gazed at ants for hours
the other day.

- I couldn't stop.
- So that's your life now?

I'll see. I'll see how things go.

I can do anything.
I'm open to change.

- Hi.
- Hello.

- Hi.
- Hi all.

Hi.

Romeo and Juliet
aren't what they used to be.

- He's still a loudmouth.
- Sure.

- He still is.
- I forgot.

There you go.

Twenty years together,
three months away,

and he's forgotten it all.

That's scary.

-- English --