L'auberge espagnole (2002) - full transcript
As part of a job that he is promised, Xavier, an economics student in his twenties, signs on to a European exchange program in order to gain working knowledge of the Spanish language. Promising that they'll remain close, he says farewell to his loving girlfriend, then heads to Barcelona. Following his arrival, Xavier is soon thrust into a cultural melting pot when he moves into an apartment full of international students. An Italian, an English girl, a boy from Denmark, a young girl from Belgium, a German and a girl from Tarragona all join him in a series of adventures that serve as an initiation to life.
The Spanish Apartment
It all started here.
At take off.
No, this isn't a story
about taking-off.
Yeah, that's the real beginning.
My appointment with
Jean-Charles Perrin.
It begins where it ends.
Right here!
I have an appointment
with Mr. Perrin.
He's in... building F.
On the 6th floor, room 6024.
Sir?
I have an appointment
with Mr. Jean-Charles Perrin.
Someone to see
Mr. Perrin.
I have an appointment
with Mr. Perrin.
Follow me.
- Xavier!
- Hello, Mr. Perrin.
Call me Jean-Charles.
I'm so pleased!
Come in!
This is where I work. My painting...
View of Paris...
Sacré Cœur...
the Eiffel Tower... Jussieu.
I've known
your father since...
We were at the ENA.
Back when it was still in Paris,
I remember...
It's been...
My father understands these things.
Go see him.
What've you got to lose?
He's great.
I've known him since...
So, that's my dad.
He's right in your field.
You like double malts?
Know Donohugue?
It's Scottish. A marvel!
It really started here,
when he said...
All I know is,
with the new European directives,
jobs will create themselves.
Get your M.S. in a subject
that addresses Spanish economics
and I can find you a job.
There's sure to be prospects.
But you have to speak Spanish,
and know the Spanish market well.
Do you speak Spanish?
A little.
Been to Spain?
I went to Ibiza once.
So I decided to go
to Spain for a year.
As a kid I was blond,
and wanted to write.
I changed.
We can change, can't we?
To make a long story short,
let's say my mom's a hippy.
And hippies, alas,
always tell the truth.
No bulgar, no tofu!
I can't make you anything!
You'd rather gorge
on fast-food shit,
full of pesticides, toxins...
Well, be my guest! I won't stop you.
First, I wasn't sure.
On second thought,
I knew I had to
get out of there.
España!
So I looked into the
European exchange program.
It's called Erasmus.
What an unspeakable mess!
Just a moment, please.
Wondering who Erasmus is?
I didn't know either...
Frankly, I still don't.
I think he was some sort of
Dutch traveler, circa 1500.
Just registering
took me three months.
That's next door.
- Have you been next door?
- I was just there.
I'd like an Erasmus file, please.
- And your registration form?
- I just got it.
It's empty!
I can't do anything with that!
They lost mine!
I have to fill out another.
Right! You're all the same!
You always wait till the last minute...!
I did! They lost my file!
It's not my fault they lost it!
I'd just like to know
what forms I need
for the file...
So it's complete.
Well, a post-graduate
Erasmus file isn't complicated.
It's all listed on the small form.
You need the agreement
of your advisor here,
the agreement
of your advisor there,
agreements from your university
there and here,
your student I.D.
That's imperative!
You're under SMEREP or MNEF?
Then, go to the MNEF office,
building D, ground floor,
and ask for form E111.
And don't go "pfft".
Without it, you can't be reimbursed
for any medical expenses, okay?
So, fill out all those forms...
This needs a resumé,
a letter of intent,
the title of your thesis,
and all these things here!
All that!
I don't know why the world
became such a mess...
I don't know
if it could have been avoided.
So complicated,
made like shit, out of whack.
Before there were fields,
cows, chickens.
It was much simpler.
They had a direct
relationship with things.
They had animals,
grew their own food,
made their clothes,
built their home...
On the farm,
life was simple for Martine.
Why did we ever
leave Martine's world?
What a horror!
- What's a horror?
- It's so sexist.
This putrified vision of women.
Why do you say that?
Because she feeds the chickens
and tends the cows?
No, but...
Obviously, that's your fantasy.
A nice little girl in a short skirt,
rosy cheeks...
No, it's not!
To think my parents
named me after her!
That really bums be out.
My mother used to read this.
I think that's sweet.
But Martine,
it's not important.
Is it "Martine" that...?
I'm sad that you're leaving.
I'm sad, too...
What is it?
Air France flight 6237 to Barcelona...
Shit!
Come on, Martine!
She's really sad.
I'm sad, too, you know.
Are you sure
this is a good idea?
Are you kidding, mom?
Is this your father's idea?
No! I decided to go.
I take off in 5 minutes.
Let's not get into this!
I'm sad too. Go figure!
Everyone's sad.
You wouldn't know it!
Your attention, please.
All passengers on
Air France flight 6237 to Barcelona
are asked to proceed immediately
to Gate C.
Don't cry.
We'll see each other soon.
Don't cry, Martine.
Don't worry,
it'll be okay.
- You sure about this?
- Shut up, mom!
There you go, madam.
A beverage?
Erasmus?
- What're you studying?
- Economics.
Serious! Stocks, all that?
Sort of, yeah.
Been to Barcelona before?
- No, I just landed.
- You're gonna have a blast!
You'll see... Awesome!
Bye.
You have the key, right?
He was just like the jerks
I always try to avoid.
Why was he so
desperate to talk to me?
This is a seriously wild city.
No one eats before 10PM.
Not even the cats.
Honest to God.
Then, party time!
These are some real party-animals.
Have you heard of
barres de copas?
My lips are sealed.
You'll see!
Plus, Erasmus is pretty intense.
You won't sleep much!
What are you doing here?
I'm working at the Del Mar Hospital.
I'm a neurologist.
And you?
We got married 15 days ago.
She's not sure yet.
Maybe a Spanish class, to start.
You don't speak any Spanish?
No. And you... you...
Do you speak Spanish?
A little. I'm going to grad school
at the University of Barcelona.
When you first arrive in a city,
nothing makes sense.
Everything's unknown, virgin.
Excuse me, please...
- Carrer des Ecudellers Street?
- I beg your pardon?
Hang a right at the corner,
then go straight.
- That way?
- Yes, that way.
Okay, thanks.
After you've lived here,
walked these streets,
you'll know them inside out.
You'll know these people.
Once you've lived here,
crossed this street
10, 20, 1000 times...
10, 20, 1000 times.
Urquinaona...
Passeig de Gracia... Laietana...
It'll belong to you
because you've lived there.
That was about to happen to me,
but I didn't know it yet.
Urquinaona, which sounded like Sioux,
was added to the list of
once bizarre-sounding names
tucked into my brain.
Urquinaona slipped in next to
Honolulu, Punxsutawney,
Piccadilly, Massachusetts,
Saskatoon, Machu Picchu.
It became normal and familiar.
Later, much later,
back in Paris,
each harrowing ordeal
will become an adventure.
For some idiotic reason,
your most horrific experiences
are the stories
you most love to tell.
- The buzzer doesn't work!
- What?
It doesn't work.
Who are you looking for?
A girl named...
- Sonia Miralpeix.
- Oh, yes.
Señor Miralpeix!
Hello!
I'm Xavier.
Can you...? The door?
Just a moment,
I let you in.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
My only place to crash in Barcelona
was through a friend of my mother's.
More coffee?
No, thank you.
Was your flight late?
No.
This Chilean guy
has a niece in Barcelona,
who I could stay with
till I found a place.
But I couldn't stay long
because she lives
with her grandfather,
and it was complicated
for me to stay too long.
It was complicated before...
I was trapped
in one of my mother's schemes!
Never again!
Stay out of her hair-brained schemes!
Thanks, mom!
Never, ever again!
Stay out of her fucking schemes!
Hello? Jean-Michel?
It's Xavier, we met at the airport.
Okay!
No, no, no... Yes, yes.
Remember me?
We met at the airport.
Yeah... okay!
Listen, I feel really stupid...
It's okay.
Stop!
I feel really stupid
calling you...
I'm really up shit creek.
Hold on... Let me go!
It's just some guys...
Since you mentioned I could...
Well...
Okay, that's really...
That's really...
That's really nice.
Yeah, because now...
Somebody died,
so she left for Chile
and forgot to tell me
things fell through.
Listen, it's no problem,
like I said.
It's the same for us,
we just turned up.
Make yourself at home.
I know what it's like!
We French have to help each other.
You can sleep on the couch.
Anne-So can fix you a snack.
Yeah.
- Are you hungry?
- Yeah.
I don't have much to offer.
I can make you...
some rice,
or some pasta...
with... we don't even have any butter...
With oil, maybe?
Great, pasta with olive oil.
That's simple. Hop to it!
Hop to it!
Sorry, we tried not to wake you, but...
Yeah, yeah, no, no...
No problem.
Want some coffee?
Why not?
It seems architectonic,
but in fact
the way the brain works
is quite simple.
You have the cerebral cortex
like that,
with two hemispheres,
with the memory
situated in the hippocampus,
inside the temporal lobe.
I summarize,
because memory...
My specialty is all that's linked
between this region of the brain,
which is
more or less
everything concerning memory,
and this region,
which manages language.
We've seen some
extraordinary pathologies!
For example, the effects of amnesia
on a bilingual person.
Yeah?
An unconscious trauma
may allow him to
retain his mother tongue.
But the 2nd language... Gone!
Hard-disk erased!
What a system!
I saw your ad...
in the paper.
Yeah, for the apartment.
I'd like, uh...
"to share"... "share"...
To share, man.
Finding an apartment in Barcelona
was another story!
Hello!
What do you think?
50,000 a month. How's that?
That's about 1,000 Euros.
50,000. Yes or no?
- Yes or no?
- Yeah, that's good.
You're sure?
50,000 on the 1st!
- I'll see.
- 'Cause we're thinking of selling.
- The 1st of the month...
- Okay.
Off to a running start!
I have to go.
Can I ask you a favor, Xav?
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
No problem.
To go out with Anne-So?
She's afraid to go alone.
You speak a little Spanish...
No, no, yeah, yeah...
No problem. I...
I saw you crying on the plane.
You did?
You looked so sad.
It made me sad too.
You think you're so happy to leave,
that you're strong...
Then the plane takes off and...
It's not easy to
just leave like that,
off into the unknown...
Yeah.
It's a weird mix.
It's the same for me.
I'm so happy with Jean-Michel.
I really wanted to come,
to forge a life together...
But at the same time,
it scares me.
To change my life,
learn a new language.
Like I'm about to climb
a huge mountain.
I wrote to Martine regularly.
I told her things
I'd never have said
if she were here with me.
I've always been reserved.
But the distance between us
compelled me to speak.
In the end it brought us closer.
Landing an apartment share
sometimes requires an exam.
I lived in Paris.
It's not usually like this.
He's a nice guy.
I loved this place!
I'd have given anything
to be accepted.
It was like
I'd always lived in this mess.
Their bickering was
like the constant drone
in my head since childhood.
Classes started
and I was still homeless.
Bye, Anne-Sophie.
I don't understand a word of Catalan!
Do you?
It's impossible!
We've got to ask him.
To speak in Castilian!
Who'll do it?
Are you in the French class?
What a fucking mess!
- Who?
- You!
Good day.
Let's discuss
the future of global capitalism.
- Excuse me, sir.
- Yes?
Could you speak in Castilian?
That's impossible.
Most of my students are Catalan.
Why should they switch languages?
We 15 Erasmus students
don't speak Catalan,
yet we all speak Spanish.
I understand your position
perfectly, miss.
But understand mine,
as well.
We're in Catalonia.
Catalan is the official language.
For Spanish,
go to Madrid or South America!
Now, let’s move on to
the future of global capitalism.
What can be said
of global capitalism?
I really like that girl.
She's so not the "Eco" type!
"What's she doing here?,"
I wondered.
In fact, what was I doing there?
...there was one unifying currency:
Gold!
I speak Catalan because
I am Catalan. I live here.
It's contradictory
to defend Catalan
at the very moment
we're creating a European Union.
I don't agree.
First of all, because
we're discussing identity.
There's not one
single valid identity,
but many varied,
perfectly compatible identities.
It's a question of respect.
For example, I have
at least two identities,
my Gambian identity,
which I carry internally,
and my Catalan identity.
It's not contradictory
to combine identities.
You're French,
you're not Martian...
You're French.
And you cherish
your French identity.
See what I mean? "Identity."
You identify
with Asterix! Françoise Hardy...
Cheese...
- I give you my pan tumaca.
- What...?
Joan Manuel Serrat...
the singer...
I give you my...
my Dali!
Spain isn't just "Ole!"
It's not just Flamenco.
It's lots of things.
And Catalan's one of them.
What a drag,
to be torn between 2 languages...
But Belgium has
Flemish and...?
Walloon?
It's not the same.
I'm Walloon,
I don't speak Flemish.
When I go to Flanders, I say I'm French.
So they speak French.
Yeah? Really?
Good, good.
Super!
Yeah, that's great!
- If they realize I'm Walloon...
- Tomorrow?
So... Okay.
No problem!
- How great! I got an apartment!
- Cool!
- Yeah... Really.
- So!
I have a crummy room
with my boss' family.
- What do you do?
- I'm a babysitter.
Oh, that's great!
"Oh, that's great!"
- For you!
- Yeah! For me!
I'm sad you're leaving.
I want to write books.
- How's it going?
- Okay.
What's that?
Babylon.
EURO PUDDING
That house was a literal
"Euro Pudding."
Wait... it's like...
"Like reading..." as Maurois said,
"you get out of it
exactly what you put in."
It's hard to explain
how it worked.
To give you the gist,
I'll start with the phone
to illustrate...
No, no! Let's take the fridge!
No, thanks.
No... no...
You'll be here soon.
Yeah...
No.
Come on! No, but...
I can't really talk now.
No.
I'm not alone, that's why.
We just went out yesterday.
I'm broke!
No.
Not at all. It's just that...
Not one person,
there are five people here.
Let's not argue.
This is ridiculous.
You'll be here soon.
I can't wait.
Yes... Me, too. Of course!
I love you, too.
I love you too.
We'll talk again soon.
Kisses.
I love you, my love.
I adore you, my love.
Hold on.
Xavier eez not here.
He will retoorn this ee-ven-ning.
Xavier eez not here.
He will retoorn this ee-ven-ning.
Mom?
It's beautiful, huh?
Are you okay?
- How'd it go this afternoon?
- Very well.
- Where'd you guys meet?
- In Dinard.
In a pizzeria.
The owner was
this overly animated Italian.
"Today I recommend
"the prosciutto and melon...
"Veddy good, buonissimo,"
- He always said that?
- For two weeks, every single day.
Oh, every day?
I was working next door
and Anne-Sophie...
Go on, you tell him.
No, well, you continue,
you tell him...
Go on! Tell him, Anne-So.
Why'd you go there every day?
Don't be so shy.
Just dive in! Tell him!
No, I'm embarrassed.
Oh, what a fuss!
What's so embarrassing?
I don't know...
It's just that it's private.
- I don't feel like telling...
- Go on!
No, wait...
I mean, it's no big deal.
If she doesn't want to...
Go on!
Tell the damned thing!
He's right,
it's no big deal.
Get out of that shell,
sweetie!
Well...
Well, the first time I...
I saw Jean-Michel,
at first glance,
I knew I was in love...
Just like that. Instantly.
Crazy about me!
I said to myself,
"Wow! That's my husband!"
Love at first sight.
The real thing!
You're impossible!
Oh, shit! Again!
Yes? Can I call you back at 8?
Right!
- Hello.
- Hello, Mr. Cucurull.
I'm showing the apartment.
- Why?
- I'm not speaking to you.
Bikes in the entry way!
It has to be repainted!
Come in.
My God, grandma's furniture!
The living room.
And the Holy Virgin?
There was a Virgin there!
Where is she?
The Madonna is...
elsewhere.
What a shit-hole!
Just a moment.
I'm naked!
I want you out by March 1st!
But...
I'm sorry.
Let me see you to the door.
It's been a pleasure.
- Can you give me one reason?
- No.
I don't want
any more students.
- Why not?
- Look at this place!
Why is it always me?
I hadn't finished the dishes.
Lars and Soledad
were still eating.
So I went to watch TV.
When I came back, you'd done them!
I was gonna do them,
but you're a maniac!
I won't live in a pigsty.
So I'm a maniac!
We're young, okay,
but we're responsible.
Well, you seem serious to me.
From now on,
I'm dealing with you.
And the rent is now
180,000 pesetas.
- 180,000 pesetas?
- Yes.
- 180,000 pesetas?
- Yes!
We need another roommate.
I know someone really nice
in my Economics class.
- Who's that?
- A girl... very serious.
I'm going to the university.
- I speak French.
- Really?
- I lived in Paris last year.
- Great!
I'll call you.
We could do better.
You don't like her?
Yeah, but we could do better.
We have all the same stuff!
- You have Ali Farka Toure!
- You too?
What are you doing tomorrow?
My girlfriend Sabine's coming
from Belgium.
- Sabine?
- Xavier?
- Hi.
- Hi.
Here we are!
I miss you so much.
So, I'm at the beach!
I still miss you!
Tomorrow we're going to Sitges,
that's another beach.
This one's in Barcelona,
Sitges is another beach.
It must be different,
it's another beach.
With that French couple.
You know, the ones who put me up.
Not exactly "cool,"
but really nice.
- That was quick.
- Yup!
- See you later!
- Bye.
Greetings all!
You wanna...?
- You slept in the same bed?
- Yeah.
- This one here?
- Yeah.
What...?
She's my girlfriend.
- Did you "fool around"?
- Yeah. She's my girlfriend!
My woman, whatever.
I'm a lesbian.
Oh, yeah...
So when's yours coming?
Mine? Uh...
She's coming... soon.
She's got stuff to wrap up,
she's a mess, in every sense.
Yeah, well, good luck.
Chicks are whacko,
I swear!
I'm so hungry!
I hope it's good.
I changed my recipe.
- What is it?
- A potato gratin.
It's like a tortilla but...
It's not a tortilla.
It has no eggs...
Can't make a tortilla
without breaking some balls... uh eggs.
- Careful!
- That's my foot!
I'm here, darling.
...the meter.
The fuses?
- Hi!
- How are you?
It's that way.
- Stay with them if you like.
- No, no...
- Isn't that English girl goofy?
- Not at all, she's cool.
She seems super uptight.
- Does she have a boyfriend?
- Yes.
She's not uptight at all.
They certainly pawned off
the scuzziest room on you.
It's not scuzzy.
Anyway, we're exchanging
in 2 months.
Are you trying
to be a pain?
No, you just made it sound
so blissful, but this...!
Well, your room,
it's gloomy.
Look at the wallpaper!
I'm sorry.
I can't... like this...
- It's no big deal.
- It's like we're strangers.
I understand.
It's no big deal...
With the others
right next door...
It's a major drag!
- Are you mad?
- No, I told you, I understand.
It's no big deal.
But we have
so little time together.
The pressure to "make it perfect"...
It's stupid but...
it's still a drag.
Stop. Really,
it's no big deal.
I felt like we spent more time
saying good-bye than being together.
Love's a bitch!
It's so hard!
Yeah...
And yet I love her.
But this!
It's the same for me.
Sabine left
staring daggers at me...
- Well, it's true that...
- That what?
I was stupid to say
I got hit on!
Oh, yeah?
By who? A guy?
Of course not!
By my Flamenco instructor.
We were in class,
just the two of us...
Then, uh...
She did a demo for me.
She was...
too gorgeous!
A shiver ran up my spine.
She was so intense!
She moved toward me...
closer and closer...
And, uh...
More fluid.
She was super hard!
She slapped my ass...
Take your time.
Move your hip.
And with the arm, a gesture...
She pressed against me,
turned me toward her...
I couldn't move. I was... frozen.
She completely dominated me.
And then?
Well, it was good.
She kissed me.
Wow...
Fuck!
And you told that to...
to Sabine?
No, not like that!
Yeah?
No.
You work too hard.
Want a drink?
No, thanks.
Come on,
it's on me!
You spend the whole day
nursing one beer.
Let me buy you a chupito.
Sorry?
- Where're you from?
- France.
From France?
Erasmus?
Yeah!
- Been in Barcelona long?
- Two month.
Two months.
Yeah! Fuck! Two months.
Exactly.
You spend too much time at school.
Come here more often!
This is where
you'll learn about Barcelona!
Juan!
Leave the poor guy alone.
Such foolishness!
Hold on,
I'm teaching him Spanish.
- What's your name?
- Xavier.
Xavier, you know
what a "Frenchie" is?
No, what?
- A "Frenchie"...?
- Juan!
Come back. I'll teach you
puta madre Spanish.
In two months!
Puta madre...?
I was fluent in
"puta madre" Spanish in no time.
I immediately
became a regular!
My man, Xavier!
How's it hangin'?
- What's going on?
- A little party.
Anne-Sophie, Juan.
Juan, Anne-Sophie.
- Hi!
- Hello.
- Hi, Xavier!
- Hi, Neus! What's up?
Xavier never said
you were so stunning!
The bastard
kept you under wraps!
- What did he say?
- He said...
He welcomed you
to his café...
- Exactly!
- Bastard!
Let's dance.
Come on!
Hello, my love!
You said you'd come!
Fuck!
No, wait, uh...
I don't have the money.
I'm sorry, I'm broke...
I was broke too!
But I managed to come...
You don't give a damn!
I do give a damn but...
No, you don't!
You make promises, blow them off...
And for my birthday!
It's disgusting!
Where are you?
At the beach?
I'm in Barcelona,
in the street.
Yeah, there's music.
There's music everywhere.
Stop!
What an awful smell!
Barcelona's such a dirty city.
No more so than Paris.
Yes it is.
So many corners
seem so "third world".
I know just as many
in Paris, but...
you wouldn't know them!
Do you find me repressed?
No.
Yes, you do.
I can imagine what you think.
"The poor thing's so repressed."
That's not true.
Old-fashioned?
A little, yeah, sure...
You're not too "Chiquita Banana".
And what's that?
You're not too hip,
you know that.
Yes, I know that.
Does that bother you?
No.
Well, it bothers me.
I'm not an idiot,
you know.
You, you're at ease,
everywhere, all the time.
You learn Spanish
in a few months,
you're friendly
with everyone.
I can't do that.
I don't have
your education,
I'm not so casual.
I know you've got
to be "cool" here.
I'm not cool.
"Hip," as you say.
Come on,
that doesn't matter.
But saying Barcelona's dirty
isn't un-hip, it's racist!
- That's racist?
- Yes.
Well, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to offend you.
That's not the issue.
You've been here six months!
Open your eyes
and look around!
I look around, Xavier.
You're atrocious to me!
"The value of stock options increases in
direct proportion to the decline of..."
She kissed me.
"The value of stock options..."
"The value of stock options..."
Hello, Anne-Sophie.
It's Xavier.
Today?
Yes, of course.
Of course.
Okay.
See you later.
Excuse me.
Beautiful, huh?
Are you afraid?
A little, yeah.
It's stupid,
I always get dizzy.
Too bad Jean-Michel
can't see this.
Yeah.
The poor thing
works so hard.
Exactly.
Doesn't it bother you
that he leaves you alone?
After you've come here
to be with him.
Yes.
I mean,
I complain about it all the time.
- Did Suzana leave?
- Just for some smokes.
What?
- No, no, no...
- Go on, what?
- Go on!
- Well, it's really stupid but...
I've always wondered.
Do you ever use, like, dildos
with girls?
It's funny.
Guys understand nothing about women.
It ridiculous.
Each sex off in their own dark corner...
While if a guy took
an interest in women,
he'd be a pig in shit.
What do you mean?
You just don't get it!
Their psychological make-up,
their bodies,
what gives them pleasure...
Why do you say that?
You think it's
all in the cock!
- Caresses are really important.
- I know.
Yeah, but you
certainly don't do it well.
Here, look.
Come on! Come here!
What?
When you caress a girl's ass,
you caress her here...
- Here. On the ass.
- No, but wait.
- You part her thighs.
- I'm embarrassed.
No, I'll show you.
Hold her
firmly against you.
Keep her
from moving.
She's got
to feel your grip!
Contrary to what they say,
most women want that grip,
to be your prisoner.
No, wait, stop!
What are you doing?
Relax! I'm just explaining.
Shall I continue?
Yeah, okay.
Go on.
So you press her body
against yours.
You caress her hair,
the nape of her neck,
her breasts.
She'll be like you,
she'll panic.
You calm her.
You take your time.
Now a lesson in
"giving pleasure"!
Come here.
I want to show
Xavier something.
All men should
learn this!
Hello!
- I'm so happy to see you.
- Me too.
It's funny, meeting up here.
Remember, our first walk
was up here?
What are you doing?
I can't...
I want you too much.
- What's the point?
- There is no point.
No but I'm married.
I'm married!
No!
Fuck, it was too good!
Like in the movies, I swear!
First she was like,
"No, no".
Then it was,
"Yes, yes, yes!"
I didn't know
that was possible.
I told you,
they're all sluts.
You're right, it's incredible!
Next time I'll grab her
and say, "Here! Suck,
you big slut."
Stop!
Don't talk like that.
We eventually
got organized.
Wendy did most
of the work.
Once in a while
we helped.
Even the fridge
worked itself out.
Alessandro left.
Listen guys...
No problem.
I just love
your monologues! Ole!
We're all going out tonight.
- Hi!
- Hi!
Can I speak to you?
- In Spanish?
- Whatever.
- What about?
- Your brother.
You're driving me crazy.
We shouldn't
do this at your place.
No, wait.
I better go.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
Don't take it badly!
Woah! Xavier!
I'm delighted!
It's been too long!
It's true.
I was just leaving.
Oh no, no, no,
you're not going.
Stay for a drink,
at least.
Let me
get rid on my stuff.
- Stay... Stay... Stay.
- Stop!
So, I hear
you've taken my wife
to every seedy bar in town?
Yeah, I'm cor..., I'm ...rupt,
I'm corrupting her a bit.
- You okay, sweetie?
- A little tired.
Yes.
Just a moment.
Xavier!
"I love you, my love."
Yeah, hi!
How's it going?
For a long time?
For a long time?
How long?
Who is it?
What's his name?
What can I say?
So that's that.
Bye!
Yeah, I...
Xavier, my friend,
incredible!
You Barcelona...
The women of Paris...
- You don't love me anymore, either.
- Of course I do!
I left,
but I still love you.
I'm lucky to have
this experience.
Fuck, Martine,
I need you.
You don't love me.
You are incapable of love.
You only care about yourself!
Your studies, your career,
your job at the goddamn Ministry!
- Not at all.
- Yes! Yes!
That job gives your parents
such pleasure.
Your father, his friend.
Your mother, her you love!
Don't worry,
it's moving.
We're 15 minutes
from the airport.
Well, I'm happy
to see you.
Even if it's short.
But why'd you only
come back for one day?
Can't we even talk?
- Aren't you happy to see me?
- Shut up!
Shut the fuck up, mom!
Anna!
Come in!
Don't stand out in the hall!
I only understood later.
Life can be worse
than a bad sitcom.
That means,
"Is that your baby?"
And that means, "Yes...
"and yours too."
Then something like,
"Why didn't
you tell me?"
"I didn't know how to
get in touch with you.
"I thought I was stronger,
but it's been really hard.
"I'm alone,
he has no father."
Oh, what a beautiful baby!
- Soledad, Anna.
- Hi!
There are seven of us living here.
You really piss me off!
Acting so cool.
You're a father.
I mean, scream!
Cry! Smash something!
Do something!
React!
My life's always
been such a mess!
Complicated, pathetic,
untidy, completely chaotic...
Life seems simpler
for everyone else.
More logical,
you know?
My life was already
a big mess.
Now it pushed me...
well, right over the edge.
I was fucked.
First I saw Wendy necking
with that American.
Then I ran
smack into Erasmus.
- Erasmus?
- Yes.
I'm sorry.
I don't understand...
- It's no big deal.
- I was so happy to see you.
But it's no big deal.
At first
I was super excited.
- It's no big deal, I told you.
- I know but...
You know, Xavier,
it's really no big deal.
I was happy to see you.
Erasmus?
- Yes?
- Excuse me...
I think I'm sick.
I can't sleep,
I'm depressed...
- It's not normal.
- It may not be serious.
Your limbic system
may be acting up.
What's that?
The primitive,
animalistic part of the brain.
The opposite of
the cerebral cortex.
- Maybe you...
- That must be it!
Does that cause visions?
You have visions?
What kind?
I see Erasmus.
Let's run some tests.
Close your eyes
and count to ten.
One...
The hippocampus?
Inside the temporal lobe.
I can't speak
French anymore!
We're going to
clean all that up.
I've lost
my mother tongue!
Come on, guys,
let's clean up that mess!
What are you
doing here?
Well, nothing...
I... I'm strolling...
Xavier,
you're driving me crazy!
So, there you go.
All your test results.
As I thought,
absolutely nothing.
Just a bit overworked.
You didn't
see anything?
No. These scanners
pick up everything.
So...
Not a thing.
On the other hand...
I want you to stop seeing
Anne-Sophie.
She told me
everything and...
I don't want you
to see her again.
I don't want
to see you, either.
- But...
- Shut up.
I stopped seeing
Anne-Sophie.
However, Wendy
kept seeing her American.
Who's Alistair, do you remember?
Alistair is
Wendy's boyfriend.
I'm sure.
Holy shit!
You met him,
he came to visit.
Why?
He just landed
in Barcelona.
He's here?
In Barcelona?
No shit?!
I've got to warn her!
Holy shit!
I'll get the phone.
Be careful!
Yes. Hi, Alessandro!
I hear you.
What? Fuck!
Okay, okay, okay.
We're on our way.
Hello.
Yeah?
Shit!
Shit!
- You okay, Lars?
- Yeah.
Fine.
Moron!
- Sorry.
- What do we do?
He's gonna
suspect something.
Act like
the key sticks.
The year was almost over.
I made a list
of all the things
I'd wanted to do
in Barcelona
and never got
around to.
- You been to Montjouic?
- Yeah.
I'm sure
I missed a lot.
It's a shame
you're not a girl.
The world's badly-made.
So! I leave tomorrow.
We threw a little
good-bye party.
I didn't feel ready.
I hadn't even
finished packing.
It's so hot!
What're you doing here?
- I'm a friend of Soledad's.
- Oh?
I lived with her.
Well, in the same apartment.
- Yeah, I know.
- Really?
We're gonna get going.
I gotta be up early...
- Excuse me.
- Thanks, it was very nice.
I'm so pleased you both came.
Really...
I... That really pleased me.
- Okay, well, bye.
- Bye.
Good-bye,
Anne-Sophie.
Good-bye.
What?
Excuse me...
Thank you so much!
Bye.
- Practice your Spanish!
- See you soon.
Have a good trip.
Go on!
Get lost!
See you soon.
- I'm coming to France next year.
- You speak French?
- Yeah!
- You never told me!
I have to go... I...
- We'll see each other again.
- Yeah.
Bon voyage!
See ya!
- Speak Catalan!
- Little by little!
It's weird to buy meat!
I haven't bought meat in years.
You're going to enjoy this!
Grade A prime.
I'll do it.
So?
Happy to be back?
Yeah, yeah.
Nothing to say?
I don't know.
It was great.
- So, tell!
- Ma, I was there for a year...
Exactly! And you have
nothing to say!
Come on, stop, ma.
Mom...
I'm happy to see you!
You wouldn't know it!
- Then why'd you tell me that?
- I told you because...
Because I wanted to hurt you.
I know you loved me.
But sometimes you've got to hit
where it's going to hurt.
I knew that was
the last time we'd ever kiss.
I thought of our first kiss.
It was on
d'Orchampt Street,
on the tiniest
sidewalk in Paris.
So much happened
between those kisses.
So many streets traversed.
So many convoluted routes.
Just to wind up here.
Today. Without her.
It was a neighborhood
Parisians never visit.
I was a foreigner
among foreigners.
What was I doing there?
I didn't know. I never seemed to know...
I must be typical.
Erasmus?
Uh-huh.
So I took the exam.
It's my first day on the job.
I've got that same,
old stomach-ache!
Like the first day of school.
That same fucking stomach-ache.
I thought I was over that!
Here we are!
Room 2038.
There you go! Your office.
I heard you were here.
Welcome to the club!
Hello, Bernard.
Tell him everything!
Here's the file we discussed.
Listen, I'm a bit swamped but...
I'll see you soon.
So, how about a coffee?
You'll see.
The building's austere,
but it's got a super ambiance!
That's very true.
We really have fun, don't we?
- You'll see.
- Okay, let's go!
- How old are you?
- Twenty-five.
You'll certainly be
a young retiree!
They tend to roast us to death,
so I set my heater at two.
Two's good.
That's more than sufficient.
The files...
No mistakes there, huh?
You've got your yellows,
your blues, your reds...
Same for the computer.
They're finicky
at the European Commission!
Oh yeah, there's
no kidding around there!
Everything in place!
A place for everything!
Isn’t that true,
Mr. Bernard?
I choose a future
without prospects.
I'm going to do
what I've always wanted.
I'm going to write.
Now it's all clear, simple.
That's not me.
Neither is that.
Or that.
I'm not that anymore.
But I'm all that.
I'm him,
him and him.
But him
and him too.
And him too.
And I'm him, too.
I want to write books.
And him...
Him I don't want to disappoint.
I'm her,
her and her too.
I'm French, Spanish,
English, Danish.
I'm not one,
but many.
I'm like Europe,
I'm all that.
I'm a real mess.
Now I can tell everything.
It all started here.
When my plane took off.
It's not a story about taking-off.
After all, it is
a story about taking off.
It all started here.
It all started here.
At take off.
No, this isn't a story
about taking-off.
Yeah, that's the real beginning.
My appointment with
Jean-Charles Perrin.
It begins where it ends.
Right here!
I have an appointment
with Mr. Perrin.
He's in... building F.
On the 6th floor, room 6024.
Sir?
I have an appointment
with Mr. Jean-Charles Perrin.
Someone to see
Mr. Perrin.
I have an appointment
with Mr. Perrin.
Follow me.
- Xavier!
- Hello, Mr. Perrin.
Call me Jean-Charles.
I'm so pleased!
Come in!
This is where I work. My painting...
View of Paris...
Sacré Cœur...
the Eiffel Tower... Jussieu.
I've known
your father since...
We were at the ENA.
Back when it was still in Paris,
I remember...
It's been...
My father understands these things.
Go see him.
What've you got to lose?
He's great.
I've known him since...
So, that's my dad.
He's right in your field.
You like double malts?
Know Donohugue?
It's Scottish. A marvel!
It really started here,
when he said...
All I know is,
with the new European directives,
jobs will create themselves.
Get your M.S. in a subject
that addresses Spanish economics
and I can find you a job.
There's sure to be prospects.
But you have to speak Spanish,
and know the Spanish market well.
Do you speak Spanish?
A little.
Been to Spain?
I went to Ibiza once.
So I decided to go
to Spain for a year.
As a kid I was blond,
and wanted to write.
I changed.
We can change, can't we?
To make a long story short,
let's say my mom's a hippy.
And hippies, alas,
always tell the truth.
No bulgar, no tofu!
I can't make you anything!
You'd rather gorge
on fast-food shit,
full of pesticides, toxins...
Well, be my guest! I won't stop you.
First, I wasn't sure.
On second thought,
I knew I had to
get out of there.
España!
So I looked into the
European exchange program.
It's called Erasmus.
What an unspeakable mess!
Just a moment, please.
Wondering who Erasmus is?
I didn't know either...
Frankly, I still don't.
I think he was some sort of
Dutch traveler, circa 1500.
Just registering
took me three months.
That's next door.
- Have you been next door?
- I was just there.
I'd like an Erasmus file, please.
- And your registration form?
- I just got it.
It's empty!
I can't do anything with that!
They lost mine!
I have to fill out another.
Right! You're all the same!
You always wait till the last minute...!
I did! They lost my file!
It's not my fault they lost it!
I'd just like to know
what forms I need
for the file...
So it's complete.
Well, a post-graduate
Erasmus file isn't complicated.
It's all listed on the small form.
You need the agreement
of your advisor here,
the agreement
of your advisor there,
agreements from your university
there and here,
your student I.D.
That's imperative!
You're under SMEREP or MNEF?
Then, go to the MNEF office,
building D, ground floor,
and ask for form E111.
And don't go "pfft".
Without it, you can't be reimbursed
for any medical expenses, okay?
So, fill out all those forms...
This needs a resumé,
a letter of intent,
the title of your thesis,
and all these things here!
All that!
I don't know why the world
became such a mess...
I don't know
if it could have been avoided.
So complicated,
made like shit, out of whack.
Before there were fields,
cows, chickens.
It was much simpler.
They had a direct
relationship with things.
They had animals,
grew their own food,
made their clothes,
built their home...
On the farm,
life was simple for Martine.
Why did we ever
leave Martine's world?
What a horror!
- What's a horror?
- It's so sexist.
This putrified vision of women.
Why do you say that?
Because she feeds the chickens
and tends the cows?
No, but...
Obviously, that's your fantasy.
A nice little girl in a short skirt,
rosy cheeks...
No, it's not!
To think my parents
named me after her!
That really bums be out.
My mother used to read this.
I think that's sweet.
But Martine,
it's not important.
Is it "Martine" that...?
I'm sad that you're leaving.
I'm sad, too...
What is it?
Air France flight 6237 to Barcelona...
Shit!
Come on, Martine!
She's really sad.
I'm sad, too, you know.
Are you sure
this is a good idea?
Are you kidding, mom?
Is this your father's idea?
No! I decided to go.
I take off in 5 minutes.
Let's not get into this!
I'm sad too. Go figure!
Everyone's sad.
You wouldn't know it!
Your attention, please.
All passengers on
Air France flight 6237 to Barcelona
are asked to proceed immediately
to Gate C.
Don't cry.
We'll see each other soon.
Don't cry, Martine.
Don't worry,
it'll be okay.
- You sure about this?
- Shut up, mom!
There you go, madam.
A beverage?
Erasmus?
- What're you studying?
- Economics.
Serious! Stocks, all that?
Sort of, yeah.
Been to Barcelona before?
- No, I just landed.
- You're gonna have a blast!
You'll see... Awesome!
Bye.
You have the key, right?
He was just like the jerks
I always try to avoid.
Why was he so
desperate to talk to me?
This is a seriously wild city.
No one eats before 10PM.
Not even the cats.
Honest to God.
Then, party time!
These are some real party-animals.
Have you heard of
barres de copas?
My lips are sealed.
You'll see!
Plus, Erasmus is pretty intense.
You won't sleep much!
What are you doing here?
I'm working at the Del Mar Hospital.
I'm a neurologist.
And you?
We got married 15 days ago.
She's not sure yet.
Maybe a Spanish class, to start.
You don't speak any Spanish?
No. And you... you...
Do you speak Spanish?
A little. I'm going to grad school
at the University of Barcelona.
When you first arrive in a city,
nothing makes sense.
Everything's unknown, virgin.
Excuse me, please...
- Carrer des Ecudellers Street?
- I beg your pardon?
Hang a right at the corner,
then go straight.
- That way?
- Yes, that way.
Okay, thanks.
After you've lived here,
walked these streets,
you'll know them inside out.
You'll know these people.
Once you've lived here,
crossed this street
10, 20, 1000 times...
10, 20, 1000 times.
Urquinaona...
Passeig de Gracia... Laietana...
It'll belong to you
because you've lived there.
That was about to happen to me,
but I didn't know it yet.
Urquinaona, which sounded like Sioux,
was added to the list of
once bizarre-sounding names
tucked into my brain.
Urquinaona slipped in next to
Honolulu, Punxsutawney,
Piccadilly, Massachusetts,
Saskatoon, Machu Picchu.
It became normal and familiar.
Later, much later,
back in Paris,
each harrowing ordeal
will become an adventure.
For some idiotic reason,
your most horrific experiences
are the stories
you most love to tell.
- The buzzer doesn't work!
- What?
It doesn't work.
Who are you looking for?
A girl named...
- Sonia Miralpeix.
- Oh, yes.
Señor Miralpeix!
Hello!
I'm Xavier.
Can you...? The door?
Just a moment,
I let you in.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
My only place to crash in Barcelona
was through a friend of my mother's.
More coffee?
No, thank you.
Was your flight late?
No.
This Chilean guy
has a niece in Barcelona,
who I could stay with
till I found a place.
But I couldn't stay long
because she lives
with her grandfather,
and it was complicated
for me to stay too long.
It was complicated before...
I was trapped
in one of my mother's schemes!
Never again!
Stay out of her hair-brained schemes!
Thanks, mom!
Never, ever again!
Stay out of her fucking schemes!
Hello? Jean-Michel?
It's Xavier, we met at the airport.
Okay!
No, no, no... Yes, yes.
Remember me?
We met at the airport.
Yeah... okay!
Listen, I feel really stupid...
It's okay.
Stop!
I feel really stupid
calling you...
I'm really up shit creek.
Hold on... Let me go!
It's just some guys...
Since you mentioned I could...
Well...
Okay, that's really...
That's really...
That's really nice.
Yeah, because now...
Somebody died,
so she left for Chile
and forgot to tell me
things fell through.
Listen, it's no problem,
like I said.
It's the same for us,
we just turned up.
Make yourself at home.
I know what it's like!
We French have to help each other.
You can sleep on the couch.
Anne-So can fix you a snack.
Yeah.
- Are you hungry?
- Yeah.
I don't have much to offer.
I can make you...
some rice,
or some pasta...
with... we don't even have any butter...
With oil, maybe?
Great, pasta with olive oil.
That's simple. Hop to it!
Hop to it!
Sorry, we tried not to wake you, but...
Yeah, yeah, no, no...
No problem.
Want some coffee?
Why not?
It seems architectonic,
but in fact
the way the brain works
is quite simple.
You have the cerebral cortex
like that,
with two hemispheres,
with the memory
situated in the hippocampus,
inside the temporal lobe.
I summarize,
because memory...
My specialty is all that's linked
between this region of the brain,
which is
more or less
everything concerning memory,
and this region,
which manages language.
We've seen some
extraordinary pathologies!
For example, the effects of amnesia
on a bilingual person.
Yeah?
An unconscious trauma
may allow him to
retain his mother tongue.
But the 2nd language... Gone!
Hard-disk erased!
What a system!
I saw your ad...
in the paper.
Yeah, for the apartment.
I'd like, uh...
"to share"... "share"...
To share, man.
Finding an apartment in Barcelona
was another story!
Hello!
What do you think?
50,000 a month. How's that?
That's about 1,000 Euros.
50,000. Yes or no?
- Yes or no?
- Yeah, that's good.
You're sure?
50,000 on the 1st!
- I'll see.
- 'Cause we're thinking of selling.
- The 1st of the month...
- Okay.
Off to a running start!
I have to go.
Can I ask you a favor, Xav?
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
No problem.
To go out with Anne-So?
She's afraid to go alone.
You speak a little Spanish...
No, no, yeah, yeah...
No problem. I...
I saw you crying on the plane.
You did?
You looked so sad.
It made me sad too.
You think you're so happy to leave,
that you're strong...
Then the plane takes off and...
It's not easy to
just leave like that,
off into the unknown...
Yeah.
It's a weird mix.
It's the same for me.
I'm so happy with Jean-Michel.
I really wanted to come,
to forge a life together...
But at the same time,
it scares me.
To change my life,
learn a new language.
Like I'm about to climb
a huge mountain.
I wrote to Martine regularly.
I told her things
I'd never have said
if she were here with me.
I've always been reserved.
But the distance between us
compelled me to speak.
In the end it brought us closer.
Landing an apartment share
sometimes requires an exam.
I lived in Paris.
It's not usually like this.
He's a nice guy.
I loved this place!
I'd have given anything
to be accepted.
It was like
I'd always lived in this mess.
Their bickering was
like the constant drone
in my head since childhood.
Classes started
and I was still homeless.
Bye, Anne-Sophie.
I don't understand a word of Catalan!
Do you?
It's impossible!
We've got to ask him.
To speak in Castilian!
Who'll do it?
Are you in the French class?
What a fucking mess!
- Who?
- You!
Good day.
Let's discuss
the future of global capitalism.
- Excuse me, sir.
- Yes?
Could you speak in Castilian?
That's impossible.
Most of my students are Catalan.
Why should they switch languages?
We 15 Erasmus students
don't speak Catalan,
yet we all speak Spanish.
I understand your position
perfectly, miss.
But understand mine,
as well.
We're in Catalonia.
Catalan is the official language.
For Spanish,
go to Madrid or South America!
Now, let’s move on to
the future of global capitalism.
What can be said
of global capitalism?
I really like that girl.
She's so not the "Eco" type!
"What's she doing here?,"
I wondered.
In fact, what was I doing there?
...there was one unifying currency:
Gold!
I speak Catalan because
I am Catalan. I live here.
It's contradictory
to defend Catalan
at the very moment
we're creating a European Union.
I don't agree.
First of all, because
we're discussing identity.
There's not one
single valid identity,
but many varied,
perfectly compatible identities.
It's a question of respect.
For example, I have
at least two identities,
my Gambian identity,
which I carry internally,
and my Catalan identity.
It's not contradictory
to combine identities.
You're French,
you're not Martian...
You're French.
And you cherish
your French identity.
See what I mean? "Identity."
You identify
with Asterix! Françoise Hardy...
Cheese...
- I give you my pan tumaca.
- What...?
Joan Manuel Serrat...
the singer...
I give you my...
my Dali!
Spain isn't just "Ole!"
It's not just Flamenco.
It's lots of things.
And Catalan's one of them.
What a drag,
to be torn between 2 languages...
But Belgium has
Flemish and...?
Walloon?
It's not the same.
I'm Walloon,
I don't speak Flemish.
When I go to Flanders, I say I'm French.
So they speak French.
Yeah? Really?
Good, good.
Super!
Yeah, that's great!
- If they realize I'm Walloon...
- Tomorrow?
So... Okay.
No problem!
- How great! I got an apartment!
- Cool!
- Yeah... Really.
- So!
I have a crummy room
with my boss' family.
- What do you do?
- I'm a babysitter.
Oh, that's great!
"Oh, that's great!"
- For you!
- Yeah! For me!
I'm sad you're leaving.
I want to write books.
- How's it going?
- Okay.
What's that?
Babylon.
EURO PUDDING
That house was a literal
"Euro Pudding."
Wait... it's like...
"Like reading..." as Maurois said,
"you get out of it
exactly what you put in."
It's hard to explain
how it worked.
To give you the gist,
I'll start with the phone
to illustrate...
No, no! Let's take the fridge!
No, thanks.
No... no...
You'll be here soon.
Yeah...
No.
Come on! No, but...
I can't really talk now.
No.
I'm not alone, that's why.
We just went out yesterday.
I'm broke!
No.
Not at all. It's just that...
Not one person,
there are five people here.
Let's not argue.
This is ridiculous.
You'll be here soon.
I can't wait.
Yes... Me, too. Of course!
I love you, too.
I love you too.
We'll talk again soon.
Kisses.
I love you, my love.
I adore you, my love.
Hold on.
Xavier eez not here.
He will retoorn this ee-ven-ning.
Xavier eez not here.
He will retoorn this ee-ven-ning.
Mom?
It's beautiful, huh?
Are you okay?
- How'd it go this afternoon?
- Very well.
- Where'd you guys meet?
- In Dinard.
In a pizzeria.
The owner was
this overly animated Italian.
"Today I recommend
"the prosciutto and melon...
"Veddy good, buonissimo,"
- He always said that?
- For two weeks, every single day.
Oh, every day?
I was working next door
and Anne-Sophie...
Go on, you tell him.
No, well, you continue,
you tell him...
Go on! Tell him, Anne-So.
Why'd you go there every day?
Don't be so shy.
Just dive in! Tell him!
No, I'm embarrassed.
Oh, what a fuss!
What's so embarrassing?
I don't know...
It's just that it's private.
- I don't feel like telling...
- Go on!
No, wait...
I mean, it's no big deal.
If she doesn't want to...
Go on!
Tell the damned thing!
He's right,
it's no big deal.
Get out of that shell,
sweetie!
Well...
Well, the first time I...
I saw Jean-Michel,
at first glance,
I knew I was in love...
Just like that. Instantly.
Crazy about me!
I said to myself,
"Wow! That's my husband!"
Love at first sight.
The real thing!
You're impossible!
Oh, shit! Again!
Yes? Can I call you back at 8?
Right!
- Hello.
- Hello, Mr. Cucurull.
I'm showing the apartment.
- Why?
- I'm not speaking to you.
Bikes in the entry way!
It has to be repainted!
Come in.
My God, grandma's furniture!
The living room.
And the Holy Virgin?
There was a Virgin there!
Where is she?
The Madonna is...
elsewhere.
What a shit-hole!
Just a moment.
I'm naked!
I want you out by March 1st!
But...
I'm sorry.
Let me see you to the door.
It's been a pleasure.
- Can you give me one reason?
- No.
I don't want
any more students.
- Why not?
- Look at this place!
Why is it always me?
I hadn't finished the dishes.
Lars and Soledad
were still eating.
So I went to watch TV.
When I came back, you'd done them!
I was gonna do them,
but you're a maniac!
I won't live in a pigsty.
So I'm a maniac!
We're young, okay,
but we're responsible.
Well, you seem serious to me.
From now on,
I'm dealing with you.
And the rent is now
180,000 pesetas.
- 180,000 pesetas?
- Yes.
- 180,000 pesetas?
- Yes!
We need another roommate.
I know someone really nice
in my Economics class.
- Who's that?
- A girl... very serious.
I'm going to the university.
- I speak French.
- Really?
- I lived in Paris last year.
- Great!
I'll call you.
We could do better.
You don't like her?
Yeah, but we could do better.
We have all the same stuff!
- You have Ali Farka Toure!
- You too?
What are you doing tomorrow?
My girlfriend Sabine's coming
from Belgium.
- Sabine?
- Xavier?
- Hi.
- Hi.
Here we are!
I miss you so much.
So, I'm at the beach!
I still miss you!
Tomorrow we're going to Sitges,
that's another beach.
This one's in Barcelona,
Sitges is another beach.
It must be different,
it's another beach.
With that French couple.
You know, the ones who put me up.
Not exactly "cool,"
but really nice.
- That was quick.
- Yup!
- See you later!
- Bye.
Greetings all!
You wanna...?
- You slept in the same bed?
- Yeah.
- This one here?
- Yeah.
What...?
She's my girlfriend.
- Did you "fool around"?
- Yeah. She's my girlfriend!
My woman, whatever.
I'm a lesbian.
Oh, yeah...
So when's yours coming?
Mine? Uh...
She's coming... soon.
She's got stuff to wrap up,
she's a mess, in every sense.
Yeah, well, good luck.
Chicks are whacko,
I swear!
I'm so hungry!
I hope it's good.
I changed my recipe.
- What is it?
- A potato gratin.
It's like a tortilla but...
It's not a tortilla.
It has no eggs...
Can't make a tortilla
without breaking some balls... uh eggs.
- Careful!
- That's my foot!
I'm here, darling.
...the meter.
The fuses?
- Hi!
- How are you?
It's that way.
- Stay with them if you like.
- No, no...
- Isn't that English girl goofy?
- Not at all, she's cool.
She seems super uptight.
- Does she have a boyfriend?
- Yes.
She's not uptight at all.
They certainly pawned off
the scuzziest room on you.
It's not scuzzy.
Anyway, we're exchanging
in 2 months.
Are you trying
to be a pain?
No, you just made it sound
so blissful, but this...!
Well, your room,
it's gloomy.
Look at the wallpaper!
I'm sorry.
I can't... like this...
- It's no big deal.
- It's like we're strangers.
I understand.
It's no big deal...
With the others
right next door...
It's a major drag!
- Are you mad?
- No, I told you, I understand.
It's no big deal.
But we have
so little time together.
The pressure to "make it perfect"...
It's stupid but...
it's still a drag.
Stop. Really,
it's no big deal.
I felt like we spent more time
saying good-bye than being together.
Love's a bitch!
It's so hard!
Yeah...
And yet I love her.
But this!
It's the same for me.
Sabine left
staring daggers at me...
- Well, it's true that...
- That what?
I was stupid to say
I got hit on!
Oh, yeah?
By who? A guy?
Of course not!
By my Flamenco instructor.
We were in class,
just the two of us...
Then, uh...
She did a demo for me.
She was...
too gorgeous!
A shiver ran up my spine.
She was so intense!
She moved toward me...
closer and closer...
And, uh...
More fluid.
She was super hard!
She slapped my ass...
Take your time.
Move your hip.
And with the arm, a gesture...
She pressed against me,
turned me toward her...
I couldn't move. I was... frozen.
She completely dominated me.
And then?
Well, it was good.
She kissed me.
Wow...
Fuck!
And you told that to...
to Sabine?
No, not like that!
Yeah?
No.
You work too hard.
Want a drink?
No, thanks.
Come on,
it's on me!
You spend the whole day
nursing one beer.
Let me buy you a chupito.
Sorry?
- Where're you from?
- France.
From France?
Erasmus?
Yeah!
- Been in Barcelona long?
- Two month.
Two months.
Yeah! Fuck! Two months.
Exactly.
You spend too much time at school.
Come here more often!
This is where
you'll learn about Barcelona!
Juan!
Leave the poor guy alone.
Such foolishness!
Hold on,
I'm teaching him Spanish.
- What's your name?
- Xavier.
Xavier, you know
what a "Frenchie" is?
No, what?
- A "Frenchie"...?
- Juan!
Come back. I'll teach you
puta madre Spanish.
In two months!
Puta madre...?
I was fluent in
"puta madre" Spanish in no time.
I immediately
became a regular!
My man, Xavier!
How's it hangin'?
- What's going on?
- A little party.
Anne-Sophie, Juan.
Juan, Anne-Sophie.
- Hi!
- Hello.
- Hi, Xavier!
- Hi, Neus! What's up?
Xavier never said
you were so stunning!
The bastard
kept you under wraps!
- What did he say?
- He said...
He welcomed you
to his café...
- Exactly!
- Bastard!
Let's dance.
Come on!
Hello, my love!
You said you'd come!
Fuck!
No, wait, uh...
I don't have the money.
I'm sorry, I'm broke...
I was broke too!
But I managed to come...
You don't give a damn!
I do give a damn but...
No, you don't!
You make promises, blow them off...
And for my birthday!
It's disgusting!
Where are you?
At the beach?
I'm in Barcelona,
in the street.
Yeah, there's music.
There's music everywhere.
Stop!
What an awful smell!
Barcelona's such a dirty city.
No more so than Paris.
Yes it is.
So many corners
seem so "third world".
I know just as many
in Paris, but...
you wouldn't know them!
Do you find me repressed?
No.
Yes, you do.
I can imagine what you think.
"The poor thing's so repressed."
That's not true.
Old-fashioned?
A little, yeah, sure...
You're not too "Chiquita Banana".
And what's that?
You're not too hip,
you know that.
Yes, I know that.
Does that bother you?
No.
Well, it bothers me.
I'm not an idiot,
you know.
You, you're at ease,
everywhere, all the time.
You learn Spanish
in a few months,
you're friendly
with everyone.
I can't do that.
I don't have
your education,
I'm not so casual.
I know you've got
to be "cool" here.
I'm not cool.
"Hip," as you say.
Come on,
that doesn't matter.
But saying Barcelona's dirty
isn't un-hip, it's racist!
- That's racist?
- Yes.
Well, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to offend you.
That's not the issue.
You've been here six months!
Open your eyes
and look around!
I look around, Xavier.
You're atrocious to me!
"The value of stock options increases in
direct proportion to the decline of..."
She kissed me.
"The value of stock options..."
"The value of stock options..."
Hello, Anne-Sophie.
It's Xavier.
Today?
Yes, of course.
Of course.
Okay.
See you later.
Excuse me.
Beautiful, huh?
Are you afraid?
A little, yeah.
It's stupid,
I always get dizzy.
Too bad Jean-Michel
can't see this.
Yeah.
The poor thing
works so hard.
Exactly.
Doesn't it bother you
that he leaves you alone?
After you've come here
to be with him.
Yes.
I mean,
I complain about it all the time.
- Did Suzana leave?
- Just for some smokes.
What?
- No, no, no...
- Go on, what?
- Go on!
- Well, it's really stupid but...
I've always wondered.
Do you ever use, like, dildos
with girls?
It's funny.
Guys understand nothing about women.
It ridiculous.
Each sex off in their own dark corner...
While if a guy took
an interest in women,
he'd be a pig in shit.
What do you mean?
You just don't get it!
Their psychological make-up,
their bodies,
what gives them pleasure...
Why do you say that?
You think it's
all in the cock!
- Caresses are really important.
- I know.
Yeah, but you
certainly don't do it well.
Here, look.
Come on! Come here!
What?
When you caress a girl's ass,
you caress her here...
- Here. On the ass.
- No, but wait.
- You part her thighs.
- I'm embarrassed.
No, I'll show you.
Hold her
firmly against you.
Keep her
from moving.
She's got
to feel your grip!
Contrary to what they say,
most women want that grip,
to be your prisoner.
No, wait, stop!
What are you doing?
Relax! I'm just explaining.
Shall I continue?
Yeah, okay.
Go on.
So you press her body
against yours.
You caress her hair,
the nape of her neck,
her breasts.
She'll be like you,
she'll panic.
You calm her.
You take your time.
Now a lesson in
"giving pleasure"!
Come here.
I want to show
Xavier something.
All men should
learn this!
Hello!
- I'm so happy to see you.
- Me too.
It's funny, meeting up here.
Remember, our first walk
was up here?
What are you doing?
I can't...
I want you too much.
- What's the point?
- There is no point.
No but I'm married.
I'm married!
No!
Fuck, it was too good!
Like in the movies, I swear!
First she was like,
"No, no".
Then it was,
"Yes, yes, yes!"
I didn't know
that was possible.
I told you,
they're all sluts.
You're right, it's incredible!
Next time I'll grab her
and say, "Here! Suck,
you big slut."
Stop!
Don't talk like that.
We eventually
got organized.
Wendy did most
of the work.
Once in a while
we helped.
Even the fridge
worked itself out.
Alessandro left.
Listen guys...
No problem.
I just love
your monologues! Ole!
We're all going out tonight.
- Hi!
- Hi!
Can I speak to you?
- In Spanish?
- Whatever.
- What about?
- Your brother.
You're driving me crazy.
We shouldn't
do this at your place.
No, wait.
I better go.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
Don't take it badly!
Woah! Xavier!
I'm delighted!
It's been too long!
It's true.
I was just leaving.
Oh no, no, no,
you're not going.
Stay for a drink,
at least.
Let me
get rid on my stuff.
- Stay... Stay... Stay.
- Stop!
So, I hear
you've taken my wife
to every seedy bar in town?
Yeah, I'm cor..., I'm ...rupt,
I'm corrupting her a bit.
- You okay, sweetie?
- A little tired.
Yes.
Just a moment.
Xavier!
"I love you, my love."
Yeah, hi!
How's it going?
For a long time?
For a long time?
How long?
Who is it?
What's his name?
What can I say?
So that's that.
Bye!
Yeah, I...
Xavier, my friend,
incredible!
You Barcelona...
The women of Paris...
- You don't love me anymore, either.
- Of course I do!
I left,
but I still love you.
I'm lucky to have
this experience.
Fuck, Martine,
I need you.
You don't love me.
You are incapable of love.
You only care about yourself!
Your studies, your career,
your job at the goddamn Ministry!
- Not at all.
- Yes! Yes!
That job gives your parents
such pleasure.
Your father, his friend.
Your mother, her you love!
Don't worry,
it's moving.
We're 15 minutes
from the airport.
Well, I'm happy
to see you.
Even if it's short.
But why'd you only
come back for one day?
Can't we even talk?
- Aren't you happy to see me?
- Shut up!
Shut the fuck up, mom!
Anna!
Come in!
Don't stand out in the hall!
I only understood later.
Life can be worse
than a bad sitcom.
That means,
"Is that your baby?"
And that means, "Yes...
"and yours too."
Then something like,
"Why didn't
you tell me?"
"I didn't know how to
get in touch with you.
"I thought I was stronger,
but it's been really hard.
"I'm alone,
he has no father."
Oh, what a beautiful baby!
- Soledad, Anna.
- Hi!
There are seven of us living here.
You really piss me off!
Acting so cool.
You're a father.
I mean, scream!
Cry! Smash something!
Do something!
React!
My life's always
been such a mess!
Complicated, pathetic,
untidy, completely chaotic...
Life seems simpler
for everyone else.
More logical,
you know?
My life was already
a big mess.
Now it pushed me...
well, right over the edge.
I was fucked.
First I saw Wendy necking
with that American.
Then I ran
smack into Erasmus.
- Erasmus?
- Yes.
I'm sorry.
I don't understand...
- It's no big deal.
- I was so happy to see you.
But it's no big deal.
At first
I was super excited.
- It's no big deal, I told you.
- I know but...
You know, Xavier,
it's really no big deal.
I was happy to see you.
Erasmus?
- Yes?
- Excuse me...
I think I'm sick.
I can't sleep,
I'm depressed...
- It's not normal.
- It may not be serious.
Your limbic system
may be acting up.
What's that?
The primitive,
animalistic part of the brain.
The opposite of
the cerebral cortex.
- Maybe you...
- That must be it!
Does that cause visions?
You have visions?
What kind?
I see Erasmus.
Let's run some tests.
Close your eyes
and count to ten.
One...
The hippocampus?
Inside the temporal lobe.
I can't speak
French anymore!
We're going to
clean all that up.
I've lost
my mother tongue!
Come on, guys,
let's clean up that mess!
What are you
doing here?
Well, nothing...
I... I'm strolling...
Xavier,
you're driving me crazy!
So, there you go.
All your test results.
As I thought,
absolutely nothing.
Just a bit overworked.
You didn't
see anything?
No. These scanners
pick up everything.
So...
Not a thing.
On the other hand...
I want you to stop seeing
Anne-Sophie.
She told me
everything and...
I don't want you
to see her again.
I don't want
to see you, either.
- But...
- Shut up.
I stopped seeing
Anne-Sophie.
However, Wendy
kept seeing her American.
Who's Alistair, do you remember?
Alistair is
Wendy's boyfriend.
I'm sure.
Holy shit!
You met him,
he came to visit.
Why?
He just landed
in Barcelona.
He's here?
In Barcelona?
No shit?!
I've got to warn her!
Holy shit!
I'll get the phone.
Be careful!
Yes. Hi, Alessandro!
I hear you.
What? Fuck!
Okay, okay, okay.
We're on our way.
Hello.
Yeah?
Shit!
Shit!
- You okay, Lars?
- Yeah.
Fine.
Moron!
- Sorry.
- What do we do?
He's gonna
suspect something.
Act like
the key sticks.
The year was almost over.
I made a list
of all the things
I'd wanted to do
in Barcelona
and never got
around to.
- You been to Montjouic?
- Yeah.
I'm sure
I missed a lot.
It's a shame
you're not a girl.
The world's badly-made.
So! I leave tomorrow.
We threw a little
good-bye party.
I didn't feel ready.
I hadn't even
finished packing.
It's so hot!
What're you doing here?
- I'm a friend of Soledad's.
- Oh?
I lived with her.
Well, in the same apartment.
- Yeah, I know.
- Really?
We're gonna get going.
I gotta be up early...
- Excuse me.
- Thanks, it was very nice.
I'm so pleased you both came.
Really...
I... That really pleased me.
- Okay, well, bye.
- Bye.
Good-bye,
Anne-Sophie.
Good-bye.
What?
Excuse me...
Thank you so much!
Bye.
- Practice your Spanish!
- See you soon.
Have a good trip.
Go on!
Get lost!
See you soon.
- I'm coming to France next year.
- You speak French?
- Yeah!
- You never told me!
I have to go... I...
- We'll see each other again.
- Yeah.
Bon voyage!
See ya!
- Speak Catalan!
- Little by little!
It's weird to buy meat!
I haven't bought meat in years.
You're going to enjoy this!
Grade A prime.
I'll do it.
So?
Happy to be back?
Yeah, yeah.
Nothing to say?
I don't know.
It was great.
- So, tell!
- Ma, I was there for a year...
Exactly! And you have
nothing to say!
Come on, stop, ma.
Mom...
I'm happy to see you!
You wouldn't know it!
- Then why'd you tell me that?
- I told you because...
Because I wanted to hurt you.
I know you loved me.
But sometimes you've got to hit
where it's going to hurt.
I knew that was
the last time we'd ever kiss.
I thought of our first kiss.
It was on
d'Orchampt Street,
on the tiniest
sidewalk in Paris.
So much happened
between those kisses.
So many streets traversed.
So many convoluted routes.
Just to wind up here.
Today. Without her.
It was a neighborhood
Parisians never visit.
I was a foreigner
among foreigners.
What was I doing there?
I didn't know. I never seemed to know...
I must be typical.
Erasmus?
Uh-huh.
So I took the exam.
It's my first day on the job.
I've got that same,
old stomach-ache!
Like the first day of school.
That same fucking stomach-ache.
I thought I was over that!
Here we are!
Room 2038.
There you go! Your office.
I heard you were here.
Welcome to the club!
Hello, Bernard.
Tell him everything!
Here's the file we discussed.
Listen, I'm a bit swamped but...
I'll see you soon.
So, how about a coffee?
You'll see.
The building's austere,
but it's got a super ambiance!
That's very true.
We really have fun, don't we?
- You'll see.
- Okay, let's go!
- How old are you?
- Twenty-five.
You'll certainly be
a young retiree!
They tend to roast us to death,
so I set my heater at two.
Two's good.
That's more than sufficient.
The files...
No mistakes there, huh?
You've got your yellows,
your blues, your reds...
Same for the computer.
They're finicky
at the European Commission!
Oh yeah, there's
no kidding around there!
Everything in place!
A place for everything!
Isn’t that true,
Mr. Bernard?
I choose a future
without prospects.
I'm going to do
what I've always wanted.
I'm going to write.
Now it's all clear, simple.
That's not me.
Neither is that.
Or that.
I'm not that anymore.
But I'm all that.
I'm him,
him and him.
But him
and him too.
And him too.
And I'm him, too.
I want to write books.
And him...
Him I don't want to disappoint.
I'm her,
her and her too.
I'm French, Spanish,
English, Danish.
I'm not one,
but many.
I'm like Europe,
I'm all that.
I'm a real mess.
Now I can tell everything.
It all started here.
When my plane took off.
It's not a story about taking-off.
After all, it is
a story about taking off.
It all started here.