Last Ride (2001) - full transcript

(MultiCom Jingle)

(children yelling)

(children laughing)

(clock beeping)

(banging)

(sleepy music)

- Morning, sweetie, did you sleep?

- A little bit, how about you?

- I didn't sleep too well.

I think I'm just excited.

Maybe a little nervous about moving.



Here you go.

- Thank you.

Hey, Dad, how's the market?

- Hm?

- The stock market, Dad, how's business?

- Oh, it's fine.

So, you all packed up,
ready for the big move?

- Yep, everything I have
is ready to go to Canada.

- You know, honey, I'm
really glad you're okay

with our moving.

I didn't think you'd take it this well.

- Why is that?

- Well, it's gonna be tough for you.

You and Mike, you kids
have been friends forever.



- That Mike, he was always a troublemaker.

- Oh, come on, he is not.

I think he's a good boy.

- I guess it hasn't really hit me

that we're actually moving tomorrow.

- I want you to enjoy this
last day with your buddies,

as best as you possibly can.

- Don't worry, Mom, I will.

- So, David, I want you to
come right home after school

and help your mom, okay?

- All right, sure, Dad.

- I want you to come home

when you're done hanging
out with your friends.

- Thanks, Mom.

(car horn beeping)

Oh, that's Mike, I gotta go.

- Hey, wait a minute, did
you get enough to eat?

- Yeah, I'm fine, thanks, Mom.

- Well, but you didn't--

- [David] Love you.

- Love you, too.

- What up, kid?

- Nothing, man, let's
just get out of here.

- Okay, eh.

- Shut up, dickhead, let's just go.

(car engine roaring)

- Oh, what the fuck you doing, bro?

You gotta wear that to school today.

- What the fuck are you
talking about, spank dummy?

I'm not going to school on
my last day in California.

- Oh, Mr. Rebel, you got
something planned for us, dude?

- Yeah, dude, we're going to Bear.

- Bear, bro, what about your fucking gear?

You gonna rent it up there,
huh, Davey, the fucking newbie.

- Dude.

I told you to bring my fucking shit, dude.

I left it at your house.

You were supposed to
bring it this morning.

- You did?

- Yeah.

- Oh, I'm just fucking with you.

("Jack That Taste Like Rye" by Downway)

♫ I'll take it

♫ I'll piece it

♫ 'cause you're broken down

♫ Together just like a part of

♫ Stop trying and drop one

♫ It's wasting his time

♫ Trying to block all the rest

♫ And too much to follow

♫ So what can I do

♫ With all this sorrow

♫ What can I do

♫ I can't wait until tomorrow

♫ It's what's been said

♫ I'll blame the feds

♫ It can't get school inside my mind

♫ Now all my gods

♫ The perfect slide

♫ I'm taking charge

♫ That tastes like brine

- Oh, you made me fall on my face.

- Aw, it's bad, dude.

- You're mad, bro, you're
just fucking bumped

'cause I went over that
hill ride up there so big.

You know, at that split second,

I saw the little tear
coming from your eyes, bro,

'cause you knew you wouldn't be

half the fucking boarder I am.

- Big, dude.

Yeah, maybe if you're an
extra on "The Smurfs,"

two feet's huge, dude, I don't know

what you're talking about, man.

- Oh, dude, check it, bro,

bumper alert, six o'clock, bro.

- What?

- Dude, check out that
chick's ass over there.

(laughing)

- Uh, last run, big guy.

- What are you doing, man?

- You never call last run, man.

- Oh, man.
- That's an ask.

You know, one of us'll end up

getting messed up or something.

- All right, man, sorry, I forgot.

You don't have to worry about it.

- Hey, you guys, wait up.

- All right.

- Yeah.

- I was wondering where
he's been all morning.

- I know, bro.

He's probably been passed out
somewhere all fucking day.

- Ah.

That's a life I could live with, man.

- Dude, that's the life I'm gonna live.

Work a couple months, take a
couple fucking months off, man,

it'll be dope.

- Woohoo hoo.

- Oh, Junior.

- Sup.

- What up, bro?

Hey, listen, I heard a
rumor there's a party

at your place tonight, what's the story?

- It's no rumor, it's pure fact.

- Nice.

- Dude, that sucks, man.

I can't go, I'm moving to Canada.

- Ooh, that's right,
that's tomorrow, I forgot.

Well, then you gotta go,

because we're gonna rave
till your last night, okay?

There's gonna be beers,
chickadees, there's gonna be dope.

- Oh, listen, listen, listen, listen,

I'll get this guy to go,
don't worry about it.

Do we need to bring anything at all?

- Uh, the house could always
use another bottle of Jager.

- Jager, bro, sounds good.

- Let's go, bro, those are fucking rad.

- All right.

- I'm trying, but my binding's messed up.

Well, I'll just check you guys later.

- All right.

- All right man, see ya.

- See ya.

(upbeat music)

♫ Why do I have to work all day

♫ With practically makin' no pay

♫ Money spent for straight away

♫ I just can't get away

♫ Working 40 hours do I ever get a break

♫ Team eyes open just stay awake

♫ Everything seems so goddamned fake

♫ Dah, my for right can take

♫ Why wait for things that never comes

♫ Why wait for things that never comes

♫ Why wait for things that never comes

♫ Why wait for things that never comes

♫ When it pit the surgeon before

♫ Just can't take a dime anymore

♫ I'm supposed to rush out the door

♫ Worse than what I'm working for

♫ What'd I do to deserve such a break

♫ At least I will who's that I'm late

♫ Their job who will use 'em as bait

♫ I lose my boss in the date

♫ Why wait for things that never comes

♫ Why wait for things that never comes

♫ Why wait for things that never comes

♫ Why wait for things that never comes

♫ Why

♫ Why

♫ Why

♫ Looking without getting afraid is like

♫ Having sex with not getting laid

♫ Working without getting paid

♫ Is like having sex without getting laid

♫ Why wait for things that never comes

♫ Why wait for things that never comes

♫ Why

- Yeah.

- Woo.

- Dude, that was so fucking sick.

Did you see how big that
kicker was going off row?

He almost got fucking
bird off the top of that.

Seriously, Dave, you just had a clean run.

Where are you gonna go?

- Um, I think I'm going
to Cafe Lulu, woohoo.

Woo.

Dude, smell me.

- No, bro.

- Come on, I stink.

- Dude, I could smell you if you stink.

- Just smell me.

- No.

- Fine, you don't know
what you're missing.

- Shut up and order.

- [Waitress] Hi, what can I get you guys?

- Um, could we get two
of your specials, Cokes?

- What would you like to drink with that?

- Cokes.

- What for you?

- Yeah.

- All right, man, so listen,

are we gonna go to that
party tonight or what?

- Ah, dude, I don't know, man,
I think it's just get packed.

- Come on, man.

- Dude, why don't we
just hit up Bowling Barn?

That'd be fine.

- I know, Dave, but there's
gonna be so many hotties there,

you know that, you know that.

- Yeah, all right, dude, we'll go,

but just for like a couple of hours

and then we'll head home.

- Sounds good, bro, that's
what I wanna hear from you.

- How we gonna get alcohol
for this thing, man?

- I don't know, I guess we'll pimp it

over at that liquor store, right?

- Ah, dude, I don't
want to have to pimp it.

It takes forever.

Why can't you just get
your brother's ID, man?

- I know, I know, he just
never gave it to me, man.

- Thank you, sweetie.

Dude, that sucks man.

- Dude, tell me about it, he's
my own fucking brother, man.

I mean, I helped the
guy move twice, right,

and all I asked him for for payment

was to get me one of
those IDs so I can use it.

And he's all like, no problem,

when I'm carrying his couch and shit,

but now he's like too
fucking busy or something.

- It's all because of his old lady, man.

- Dude, he's definitely pussy-whipped.

He doesn't do anything
fucking cool anymore.

He just fucking, ah, he
can't even be bothered, man.

- I'll never get a full foundation.

- Dude, fuck that, bro.

- Never.

- Fuck no.

- What you guys gotta start doing

is pumping iron and eating right.

And before you know it,
you're gonna turn to fat.

The chicks like a tight body.

- Dude, what do you think,
skating and snowboarding

keeps us in good enough shape already.

- You're not always gonna have
enough time to board, bro.

And besides, you need to put on some size,

get strong, to fend off those injuries.

- Look, look, look, guy, that's
some really great advice,

but alls we really asked you
for is to get us some beer.

- Hey, look, I'm just trying
to put you on the right path

to a healthy lifestyle.

- Look, what would be healthy right now,

would be for me to get some beers,

so I can score some chicks tonight.

- Well, I can't help you with that,

besides, beer's fattening.

Tell you what, though, if you're
looking for a good trainer,

here's my card, and listen,

my studio's right by the Bowling Barn.

All right, guys, take care.

- Take care, man.

- You fucking believe this guy, man?

- I don't know, man, I think
he had something to say.

- Aw, shit, are you kidding me?

Look, go ask this guy coming
up right here, all right?

- Fuck off, bitch, I asked last time, man.

- Fuck you did, go ask him.

- Stop being such a woman and
go get me some alcohol, man.

- Fuck, fuck, whatever.

I'm gonna ask this chick
coming up right here.

But if she doesn't do it, bro,

you're gonna fucking pull
the runner, all right?

- All right, go, go.

- Excuse me, miss, we left our IDs at home

and we were wondering you could
get us a bottle of Jaeger.

- I'm not 21.

- Yeah, right, what are you, like, 50?

- Yeah, I'm 50, you punk ass little bi--

- What?

Yeah, we gotta get out of here.

Fuck, man, that fucking bitch, bro.

- I wanna punch her in her face, man.

- It's just fucked, though.

We'll go over to Bear liquor,
and you can pull that runner.

(suspenseful music)

- Hi Ryan.
- Hello.

- 25.

Hey, what is this?

10.59, and 2.3

All right, let's put it in, hey,

hey, what have you got there?

You're not just gonna steal from me.

Nobody's gonna steal from me anymore.

You understand?

(tires squealing)

I'm getting tired of you
stupid kids stealing from me.

(gun cocks)

(gun shoots)

- We just fucking got shot at.

We just got, fuck, bro,
we just got shot at

with a fucking gun, gimme that bottle.

That fucking bottle.

Woo, holy shit, bro.

We just got fucking shot at, bro.

She shot at us with a fucking gun, dude.

She just shot at us with
a fucking gun, Dave,

that was so cool, bro.

She just shot at us with a fucking gun,

and check out our new fucking
shiny bottle of alcohol.

That was so fucking cool.

- What's up, yeah.

- Listen, bro, we just
got fucking shot at, bro.

- No way, who shot at
you, was it snowboarders?

- No, listen bro.
(laughing)

Bear Liquor, yo, she fucking blasted us,

it was so fucking cool.

- It's crazy, rippers,

come on, go inside, drink some beer.

- You wanna go?
- A bunch of hotties I picked

up on the hill today.

- Tips.
- You can, just go scoop.

(beer can opening)

- Yo, Dave, what's up, man?

- Just hanging out, buddy.

- Right on.

Hey, man, you gonna ride with us tomorrow?

- No, I'm moving to Canada.

- Oh, shit, Canada.

- Canada?
- Canada.

- Moving to fucking Canada,
in winter, beeyotch.

- Where the fuck is that?

- Calgary, man.

- That's fucked up.

- Aw, it's cool, man, it's my parents

picking the nonsense city,

there's a shitload of snow,
fucking goes on up there.

- Yeah, whatever, that's cool.

Anyway, hey, man, we're
going up to Mammoth tomorrow.

We're staying at my teat's condo.

Hey, hottie.

- It's gonna be awesome, we're
getting dumped on right now.

- Yeah.

- Really?

- Oh yeah.

- All right, so check it out, right.

We find this big hit, and it's huge,

and a 30 foot gap, huh?

- Made it bigger, man.

- Right, so I look at Dave, and I'm like,

are you gonna go first, or am I?

He says no, fucking pussy, you found it,

you go first, I'm like whatever, right?

So I fully charge it, right,
hit it with all this speed,

and ollie as big as I
can off the edge of it,

and I barely make it, I
mean, a couple more inches,

and I'm totally fucked, right,

so it's his turn to go now,

I look up at him, and I don't
know what he was thinking.

He fully charges, I guess
he's trying to make up

for being such a pussy,
or whatever, right,

he goes at it with all this speed,

and he tries to spin a 540,

- Oh, I fully pulled it, though, dude.

- Yeah, right, he lands perfectly,

except he's like five feet
short of the gap, right?

He just, just, lands and
just bounces off, right?

He's like five feet in the air,

completely clears the gap,
falls right on his feet,

and just keeps on flipping
down the mountain.

- Seriously, that hurt so bad.

- So he's tumbling, right, he gets up,

his face is all bloody,
it's all fucked up and shit,

right, and I look at him
and I'm like, bro, you okay?

And all he can say is, oh
man, I busted my noggin,

I busted my noggin.

(laughing)

- I remember just
looking at him, aw, dude,

I'm slow, it's slow.

- It's slow, right, so he
points his board straight,

he goes down the mountain
about 60 miles per hour,

I mean, I gotta fully struggle

just to keep up with this guy, right?

He still beats me to the bottom
by like half a mile, right.

So now we're sitting down there,

and we're unbinding and shit,

and he looks up at me
and goes, where are we?

And I'm like, dude, we're in Big Bear.

Now he kinda trips out,
he's like, Big Bear,

how the fuck did we get there, right?

I think he's fucking with me, right?

And then I look at him in
the eye and I can tell.

I can tell that this guy's all messed up,

and he's telling the truth,

so I just gotta fucking freak out.

- I can remember my name
and everything else,

I just I could not remember
driving up there that day,

or riding at all.

- [Girl] That's crazy.

- Actually it was kinda fun.

I never had that feeling before.

It was fun.

- Fun, fun, right, fun for you, maybe.

That's ridiculous.

- Stop.

- Have you ever been out like that?

- Well, I don't like going around

banging up my head or anything like that,

but I broke my arm last
year in a couple of places,

you know, and I had to deal.

- [Girl] How'd it happen?

- Mikey, you, oh, why
don't you and Clark Kent

stop hoarding all the girlies?

- Hey, Junior, it's not a
question of Mike and Dave

hoarding us, rather it's us hoarding them.

- Sassy.

That sounds good.

Mikey, it's dumping up
at Mammoth, you gotta go.

- Dude, I can't, I gotta get
this guy home by tonight,

bro, tonight, that's it.

♫ Oh, Canada, oh, Canada

- All right, it'll be awfully
sad if we can't go up.

- You gotta go, it's your last weekend.

- Dude, it's gonna be the
last time we can ride together

for awhile, let's fucking go.

Let's go.

- Uh, oh, that's nice,
we'll roll a few fatties

on the way up, we will
smoke fatties there,

we will hook up with some hotties,

we will ride, fish, fish, fish,
hold on, hold on, hold on.

- Sounds good man, but my dad
would kill me, though, man.

- Fuck it, bro, who cares about your dad?

It's your last weekend, man, this is it.

This is it, bro.

- All right, yeah, fuck it, let's do it.

(cheering)

- Aw, yeah.

(giggling)

So, Dave, why don't you find the bong

and load up a fat bowl for these beautiful

young ladies, all right?

- All right.

- All right, Dave.

- But where's it at, man?

- Bro, I don't know, that's why
I asked you to find it, huh?

- Hey.

(laughing)

- So listen, you guys like boarding, huh?

- Yeah, it's pretty dope.

- Uh-huh.

- You, you are good, you are good.

(laughing)

- I've been riding since last year.

- Seriously, most girls,
they ride kinda whack,

but I like your style, you know,

you just go bombing the runs, you know,

hitting the jones and stuff, I don't know.

You know, kinda wild.

- I'm trying to get better.

- Listen, you're good
now, though, seriously.

Alls you need to do though,
is ride with a couple guys

like me and Dave over here,
and you'll start progressing

really fast, seriously.

- Really.

- I guarantee that.

- Well, we'll just have
to go riding, won't we?

- [Mike] Oh, absolutely, we've gotta try.

(laughing)

- You need some help?

- I have found the bong.

- Sweet.
- Aw, yeah.

- [Mike] Why don't you
load that up, stinky, huh?

- All right, gimme a second.
- Get it going.

(laughing)

- So are you guys excited about Mammoth?

- [Mike] Oh my god, it's gonna be so dope.

- Yeah, my friend Lucy's going up there

with her parents, I wish I could go.

- Why can't you go, what's the problem?

- [Girl] Her mom won't let her.

(laughing)

- [Mike] Get outta here, seriously?

- Mm-mm.
- That's too bad.

- You got a light in there?

- Yeah, it's right here,
bro, but pass that bong over.

I'm taking it.

- Had me fucking loadin' it,
and now you're green's rent?

- He's a whiny little bitch, right?

(laughing)

No, he's not a whiny little bitch.

Easy there, bro, don't
knock it over, go ahead.

Come on, big one, now,
a big one for daddy.

(laughing)

(gurgling)

He's out.

(laughing)

- No way.

- Ooh.

(laughing)

Well, I guess it's just me
and you two sexy ladies, huh?

("Subversive" by Belvedere)

♫ Anybody, why I can't
fulfill my selfish angst,

♫ Tell me something

♫ I just can't find anything to fight,

Well, why did you pass out last night, bro

You were so high, man.

- Dude, shut up.

- No, seriously, why the
fuck did you pass out, dude?

You're always doing that.

- Can't stand listening
to you women bitch.

I'm gonna pass out.

- It is seriously too early in the morning

to deal with your shit,
man, leave me alone.

- All right, man, all right.

Are you sure you're not gay, though?

Are you sure you're not fucking gay?

You, easy, I'm trying to roll up here.

♫ Anybody, give me reasons tell me why

I mean, fuck, I haven't even thought

about where we're gonna stay tonight.

What happens if the Motel 6 is filled?

- We can stay at that
fucker's house, dude.

The guy who's got the parents
with the condo up there?

Gavin McKitchee.

- Fuck, man, I don't know those people.

- Dude, you know who I'm
fucking talking about.

The fucker who always wears
the messed up beanies,

rides with the dude who waves
his arms when he speaks.

- No, no, Dave, I don't know
who you're talking about, man.

- The beanie guy's Andre, and
the other friend's Cats man.

- Yeah, we'll stay with those goons, man.

- I just don't know who
you're talking about.

- Pass me that dough boy.

This looks like a good
place to get some drugs.

- Ooh wee.

Hey, boys, find yourselves a seat.

- All right.

Gentlemen, super booth?

- Definitely.

Dude, I don't wanna wait for
them to clean this shit up.

Let's go sit over here.

I'm starving.

Man, I'm so fucking hung over, dude.

- Tell me about it, I'm still drunk.

- What do you know, I feel fine.

- That's 'cause you passed out
early last night, you pussy.

(laughing)

- Whatever, dude, at least I
got no pain right now, huh?

- Yeah, you didn't get laid
last night, either, did you?

- All righty.

What can I get you boys?

- Ah, you cute little teddy bear.

What you got that's good in
that kitchen of yours, honey?

- Everything is fine to eat in my kitchen.

- All right, baby, I mean,
what you got that's good?

- I am no baby, but uh, the
chicken fried steak is good.

- Okay, well, I'll have
that and some tater tots,

and a large milkshake, chocolate.

- Uh-huh, what could I getcha?

- Um, I will have bacon
double cheeseburger

with onion rings, side of
ranch, please, a Coca-Cola,

a vanilla milkshake, and banana pudding.

- Ooh wee, all right, hungry
little bugger, ain't you?

- I need to get my energy up
to do some big dump and pump

pom daddy airs, ah.

- Ah, honey.

All right, cutie in the
corner, what can I get you?

- Uh, wheat toast, no butter,
two egg whites, boiled,

bowl of oatmeal, two sugars,
no butter, and a bowl of fruit.

- What?

- I'm on a diet.

- Okay.

- Is there a restroom?

- That way, thank you, boys.

- You're welcome.

(ringing)

- [Voice Mail Recording] Hello,
you have reached the Kidds,

we've moved to Canada, but we
will be checking our messages

for the next couple of weeks.

Please leave your message
at the sound of the tone.

(beeping)

- Hey, Mom and Dad, it's Dave.

Look, I'm really sorry for doing this,

but I just, I'll buy myself a ticket

and I'll meet you guys
in Calgary by the latest,

like Monday night.

- Dave?

- Dad?

- Where are you?

Are you all right?

- Yeah, Dad, I'm okay.

- Yeah, but where are you?

- I'm on my way to Mammoth.

- What?

- Look, Dad, I'm just going
snowboarding one last time

with my friends.

- No, I think you're coming home now.

- I can't.

- Look, your mother and I can't wait.

We've gotta leave for Canada today.

- I know.

- Dave, what are you doing?

- I don't know, I'm just doing it.

- Well, come home before it's too late.

- Look, I love you and Mom,
Dad, but I'm doing this.

- Don't.

- I have to go, Dad, I'll call
you when I get back, okay?

- But it's going to be too late.

- Bye, Dad.

- Dave?

Dave.

"In a Backwoods Bayou Town" by Bud Mathis

♫ In a backwoods bayou town

♫ Home way of life

♫ I wondered if the woman

♫ Was the swamp man's wife

♫ When she said hold me

♫ Something should've told me

♫ You don't wanna fool around

♫ In a backwoods bayou town

- Howdy.

♫ You don't wanna fool around

- Hi.

♫ In a backwoods bayou town

- Hey, uh, Jimmy, did you
hear a little girl's voice?

- You know, big Bob, I think I did.

- Whoa, easy, tough guy,
what's eating your ass?

- Why don't you pull
your head outta your ass,

wipe the shit from your eyes,
and take a good look around.

(laughing)

- Yeah, well, dude, I
have taken a look around,

right, and alls I see
is me and my buddy here,

trying to get something to eat.

And you guys fucking with us.

- Wooee, you hear the
mouth on this little bitch?

- You know what?

We don't like your kind
our neck of the woods.

So why don't you get the hell out of here?

- Look, alls we're trying to do

is get a bite to eat, all right?

We're not doing anything wrong.

- Well, I don't like the way you look.

- Jimmy, big Bob, are you
two picking on these boys?

- Aw, Marge, this ain't
got nothing to do with you.

- This here has everything to do with me.

It's my place.

- Aw, come on, Marge, we
were just teasing 'em.

It's all good, all right?

- Well, be nice.

They're paying customers.

- Yeah.

Yeah, you boys heard Margie,

why don't you two clowns
mosey on outta here now?

- Like I said, we don't like your kind.

(laughing)

- [Jimmy] Big Bob, I love you.

Chocolate's never my favorite.

- [Bob] Mine neither.

- Fucking hick assholes.

- [Bob] Oh, what you gonna do, little boy?

- You know what, dude, I
ain't gonna do anything.

Just a couple of fucking hick jerkoffs.

Come on, Junior, let's
get the fuck outta here.

(laughing)

- Have a good day, ladies.

Aw, mommy.

- Come on, Junior.

- Might as well cancel that order, Marge,

dickheads here chased us away.

- Big Bob, I love you.

- I love you, too.

- What'd you guys do in there, man?

- No, we didn't do anything, punk.

- Bullshit, if you didn't do anything,

they wouldn't have chased us out.

- No, man, we, they really started messing

with us for doing nothing.

Bitches.

- What the hell happened in there.

- Dude, it was just a
couple of hick assholes,

being typical, they were
fucking with us for no reason.

Now, just leave it alone.

- This always happens to us.

- Least you're not me.

- You got that right, old man.

- Fuck you, you have no idea.

So much shit happens to me,

since I was born, shit be happening.

- Whatever, fighting wasn't even invented

when you were born.

- Dude, you have no idea how many guys

I had to go through to
get all the chickies,

I did it, too.

- Hey, Junior, if you're
such a tough guy, bro,

why didn't you do anything back
there with those hicks, bro?

- 'Cause those guys don't work.

- Yeah, right, you were fucking scared.

- Please, you looked pretty
scared to me, tough guy.

- Dude, I was about to fuck
those guys up, seriously.

If I wasn't so fucking hung over,

I would've been fucking both those dudes.

- Boom.

- Yeah, sure.

- You know I know kung fu, bro,

you know I would've fucked those guys up.

- Hey, we don't like your kind.

(grunting)

(glass breaking)

- Next time, you will not be so lucky.

Woo ah.

(laughing)

- Yeah.

Well, you got a pretty good imagination,

but if we were gonna get
out of that situation,

it woulda gone down like this.

(laughing)

- Yeah, baby, I love that.

Woohoo.

- Cut me some bass.

Say hello to Laverne and Shirley.

Dance, mother fucker.

(gun shoots)

Can't you feel the beat, white boy?

- Oh my god, what's going on in here?

- These boys taking their hardest dough.

I'll be having you, bread with
a side of black-eyed peas,

collard greens, and slice
of sweet potato pie.

Where you goin', cowboy?

- What, you gonna shoot an unarmed man?

- Six to one.

- Oh.

(gun shoots)

- Eh.

(gun shoots)

(grunting)

- Oh my god, you killed him.

- He deserved it.

- You're right, they've been terrorizing

my customers for years.

How can I ever repay you?

- You already did.

This is all the thanks I need.

- Uh.

Mm.

Oh my god, we ran out of gas.

- Oh, no, man, we were gonna get it

in that town back there, dude.

- What's going on?

- Dude, our fucking car is
riding on the red line of E,

that's what's wrong, bro.

- Oh, gas?

- Nada, dude, seriously,
there's not another town

for like 30 miles.

- Oh, man, those hicks
really fucked with our day.

- Dude, I seriously don't
have any money, man,

I was gonna use my mom's credit card.

- I got a couple bucks, I think, I hope.

(laughing)

Oh, I have a couple bucks for real.

I spent all my money
on beer for last night.

- How 'bout you, Mike?

- Dude, you know me, alls
I got is fucking 54 cents

and an ATM card.

- Shit.

- All right, well,
first things first, man,

can we even make it to
the next gas station?

- I don't know, bro, you
know this fucking beast

eats so much gas.

- Even if we make it to the next station,

we are still screwed.

We have $2.54.

- Yeah, well, they gotta let
us use our ATM cards, right?

- We are in the fucking
back woods, buddy, okay?

We cannot underestimate how
screwy these hicks can be.

- All right, bro, first things first,

we gotta find a fucking gas station,

and hope that our cash
gets us to fucking Bishop,

where they'll have a
couple banks, bro, period.

- [David] Dude, if we don't
find a gas station soon,

we're screwed.

- Yo, what is that right
there, is that a gas station?

That's a gas station
right over there, right?

- Dude, I don't know what
the fuck that is, man.

- What the fuck would
they be doing out here?

- Well, they got a pump there,

so I'm gonna pull in, bro.

Hang on, boys.

Hey, man, you take ATM cards?

- Ah, a 61 sedan DeVille.

- Yeah, it sure is, bro.

- Pretty sweet, what you got
in here, the 390 or the 54?

- Yeah, it's a 390,
listen, you take ATM cards?

- You mean the bank cash cards?

- Yeah.

- No.

- Oh, man, we're fucked, dude.

- Listen, how far to the next town

that's got a bank machine,
man, we're jammed.

- 'Bout 40 miles, I guess.

- Dude, alls we have is $2.54, you guys,

that ain't gonna get us there.

- Shit, this day sucks, man,
first the diner and now this.

- Man, we'll never get
a chance to ride today.

- You guys snowboarders?

- Yeah.

- I used to ride.

- Why did you quit?

- Well, I got my girlfriend pregnant,

so I had to marry her, and
I didn't have any money,

'cause all I used to do is snowboard,

just like you guys.

And, you know, I had to get a job,

so her old man gave me this place.

- Dude, listen, you gotta fucking

help out me and my buddy here, all right?

I mean, I'm, it's the last
time we're gonna be able

to ride together for a long time.

He's moving away, he's
going to fucking Canada,

and this is our last
weekend, bro, we're stuck.

We need your help, man.

- We'll pay you on the way back.

(laughing)

- How can I trust you?

I used to be a little punk, just like you.

(laughing)

- Dude, then you should
know how we feel, man.

You know, this is important to us.

It's just gonna be a matter of time

before we're stuck, you
know, and we end up like you.

- I'd do anything to trade
places with you guys.

- Dude, what, and be stuck out here

in the middle of nowhere,

and now gas, no money, man,
we're up shit's creek, dude.

- No, man, just not having
to worry about anything,

but just having a good time.

- Bro, you gotta help us out.

Just think about it.

You know what it's like,
you have a kid, bro,

think about your kid, he's
gonna be shredding up one day,

he's gonna wanna go snowboarding.

That's what we are, we're out here,

we wanna go snowboarding,

dude, we're stuck, we just need,

we need a little bit of
money, bro, just help us out.

- All right, guys, I'll
fill this beast up.

- Yee, nice.

- Nice, you're the man, bro, I like you.

- Hey, you smoke weed?

- Yeah, I smoke weed.

- How 'bout we give you a
fatty of our killer endo.

- That'd be cool.

- Dude, it's so fucking
dope out here, you guys.

Look at all the fucking powder, man.

- Dude, dude, I'm gonna
find me the biggest

fucking kicker and do a back flip, man.

- This place is so big, man.

What happens if I lose you guys?

- Junior, dude, we'll
wait for you, all right?

- Yeah, dude, if you
fucking lag at all, bro,

just meet us at warmer
hut two at four o'clock.

You know where that is.

- Let's roast 'em all.

- Shit, yeah, dude.

- Woo.

Wonder what the park's
like here, dude, huh?

- Dude, fuck that park, bro,

I wanna ride all this
powder in the back country.

- Oh, no, no, I do not wanna
get stuck back there, man.

- Oh, no, no, I do not
wanna get stuck back there.

Junior, come on, dude, Junior.

If you want, I'll show you
where the bunny trail is.

I know you like it, and
I know you can handle it.

- Yeah, Junior, Dave
loves that fucking run,

it's his favorite fucking run, man.

He knows exactly where it is, bro.

No, listen, listen,
listen, you don't have,

you don't have to explain to me, man,

it's all right, it's all right.

- Shut up, little boy,
or you're gonna know

what being scared's all about.

- Ooh, I better be
quiet or the grandfather

of snowboarding is gonna kick my ass.

- Come on, dude, let's
fucking ride, you know?

♫ Destiny, cooling like gravity

♫ Leaving my hands empty

♫ You have grown away from me

♫ Sliding away from reality

♫ Playing with destiny

♫ Riding on fast

♫ Away from the past

♫ Doubting words that don't mean a thing

♫ Trying to survive

♫ I raced down the slopes

♫ Of life

♫ Destiny

- I've never seen anyone
get worked that hard.

But you must've flipped over
like five or six times, bro.

- Dude, at least I have
the edge to make breakfast.

- Look, fuck that, at
least I'm smart enough

not to get worked by some
stupid kicker out there.

That shit was funnier than
an Adam Sandler movie, bro.

- Whatever, man.

Dude, you think Junior's gonna be boned

about riding all day by himself?

- Fuck that, dude, he's a big boy,

he can take care of himself.

Let's go.

- Yeah, I just think it'd
suck if I rode Mammoth

all day by myself.

- Dave, I came here to fucking ride, dude,

not to fucking babysit Junior, man.

- Still, man, I wouldn't
want to ride this whole

mountain by myself, man.

- [Junior] Seriously, after I get done

questioning my old lady,

I go in to get myself a beer,

and standing there, in
this sexy nightgown,

is her best friend right?

- Oh.

- She's looking really good,

so I'm just chilling, I'm watching her.

I mean, she turns
around, she turns around,

and she is all nipples
holding a cold beer, dude.

- Yeah, dog, I love hot nipples.

- Oh yeah.

She gives me this sexy little smile,

she's like, would you like a beer?

Ooh, and I say, that's
what I came in here for,

and she goes, is that
all you came in here for?

And then I go, what did you have in mind,

and I swear to god, the bitch says,

you fucking me right here on the counter.

(laughing)

My pants dropped faster than my mouth.

- That's bullshit, man,
that shit never happened.

- Yo, that shit did happen,
kid, I'm telling you.

- Yo, what up, Junior, I see
you made it down in one piece.

- You guys missed out.

The way I took was nice.

- Get back to the story.

You boned your girl and
her best friend one night,

is that it?

- [Junior] No, no, it gets better.

- Yo, how much better can it get?

- So I'm done boning her
on the kitchen floor,

I go back into my bedroom
to get into bed with my old,

do I have some shit still on my nose?

(laughing)

Okay, I get back into bed,
I think I'm getting into bed

with my old lady, but I
was so faded I ended up

in her sister's room.

- No fucking way.

- I don't know if I was too drunk

or fucking confused from fucking so much,

but I laid back just to pass out, man

and psycho bitch jumps me.

I'm thinking, what's up, my,

my old lady wants to
fuck twice in one night?

Until I heard the voice.

(laughing)

I won't tell if you don't tell.

Yeah, I knew I was in
for round three, baby.

(cheering)

- Damn, I love this story, that's hot.

- Did you get busted by any of them?

- That's the beauty of the whole story,

I got off scott free.

- Three cooking cooters
in one night, that's sick.

(laughing)

- I'm no player, I just crush a lot.

- Oh.

- You loosen up the park today, or what?

- Nah, dude, we were
hitting up that fresh powder

in the back country, dude, you know.

- Powder hounds, dude, you
got to got to the park,

dude, it's going on.

- Yo, man, let's get some quickies

and then get back up
on that mountain, man.

(rap music)

♫ It's like oh, here
comes another one, brother

♫ Get down with the peace sound

♫ When we smother

♫ You see the stereo wide cover

♫ Tracks to build the whacks like ever

♫ Cool it that place we tracking

♫ I got the song you be hackin'

♫ Why not get my good new pimp

♫ Hanging off my lip

♫ They say, hey, yo, don't call me

♫ You what's up with the slang

♫ Yeah, what you mean

♫ That's some sugar way

♫ From back in the day

♫ Just like the beat of rap

♫ Over who are older than me

♫ Just the style of the beat

♫ But the vibe is still free

♫ Take it through oh grace

♫ To just creating the sound

♫ Scribble with the rhyme

♫ Going to put the kid down

♫ To the bottom of the barrel

♫ Can't funk like Joe Farrell

♫ That part is why I go this

♫ When you drop beats

♫ We're all about loose deeps

♫ In the streets

♫ With group seats

♫ Unaffordable here

♫ Pop a loan up at the dollar

♫ With some records we bought

♫ At the local thrift shop

♫ Mom and pop store

♫ Marauding still it's 70s rock

♫ And a doozy 45 of brothers

♫ Do what they do

♫ We traveling the globe now

♫ Trying to take it back to 92

♫ Used to it

♫ The way we do what we do

♫ Make the seas more quick

♫ When you stick with your crew

♫ Don't be trying to end the records

♫ We corrupt my television

♫ People love it with stare

♫ We on a mission

♫ My division persists

♫ The team niggas with heat

♫ Known to get drunk

♫ And beat each other in the street

♫ People search Monadello

♫ Gardina Acoe

♫ And you won't find another

♫ On the mike that gets meaner

♫ Than the gun accident

♫ That a black boss hit

♫ We spring a funk

♫ Like the Jackson's kid

♫ Can you feel later

♫ The people under the stairs

♫ We got the brand new sound

♫ We travel now

♫ I'm like the backs 10

♫ East bound and home

♫ Here comes another one brother

♫ Get down with the peace sound

♫ What we struggle

♫ We going to be on your stereo

♫ Why and cover

♫ Try some Miller Light

♫ It's whites like brother

♫ Here comes another one brother

♫ Get down with the peace sound

♫ Like we struggle

♫ We're coming to your city stereo-wide

♫ Cover the front, it's global wide

♫ Try and cover.

♫ For your ML porn,

♫ Keep these damn tracks torn

♫ I swore to bring the funk

♫ On plates warm

♫ With the extra large

♫ Bitches brew in a cup

♫ Yo, you not funking right

♫ Bitch, shut the funk up

♫ I gotta jump back

♫ And like the check

♫ 'cause I've been tweaking

♫ On the way my skills display

♫ And you can say what you want

♫ But I flaunt what I got

♫ Take a bring

♫ Whatever I mean

♫ Is that I am to scram

♫ When I come in here Chewbacca

♫ What's the cover box style

♫ From the one that busts

♫ And it's a shame how they

♫ Used us to play that gamer

♫ Lemme sound like you

♫ No, go, you can't win

♫ With the my guys loose

♫ Y'all stole off a drive by

♫ Then admit it the PO arrives

♫ And Robbie is sly

♫ Bringing back break

♫ Is sending B boys to college

♫ Permanent it hold my hand

♫ I'm a break a synthesizer

♫ And you drop back,

♫ you make your brown people look back

♫ And the oh they ain't feeling

♫ Ask my dad

♫ So if I gotta sound like ya'll

♫ To represent my coast

♫ I'm a disown LA and
take my shit on the road

♫ It's like, I'm sure you
notice just a little more

♫ That everybody killers
cost the red and blue

♫ I'm more quickly now

♫ I'm past all that

♫ Like the blimp to Jay

♫ Back you stay laid back

♫ Like a lazy boy for all the lazy toys

♫ The oh, fit it McCoys

♫ I'll make your bud noise

♫ It's the freaky little nerds

♫ That burnin' like wax

♫ The bitches with the glasses

♫ How they cry regardless

♫ Oh, here comes another one, brother

♫ Get down with the peace sound

♫ We be smother

♫ We're coming to your city stereo

♫ Live cover

♫ Try it, symbol of wax

♫ My end brother

♫ Oh, here comes another one, brother

♫ Get down with the peace sound

♫ We smother

♫ We coming to your city
stereo-wide live cover

♫ Try it, symbol of wax live and cover

♫ Yo, we hearing everywhere the tear

♫ With the snare

♫ Just like Fred Astaire

♫ Right now to Yogi Bear

♫ That's the way that we flip

♫ That's the way we flip

♫ It wasn't pose in jeans

♫ Are we lean like Jimmy Dean

♫ Hey, yes we are, big brother

♫ Like Sashas with porn

♫ We had

(laughing)

- Dude, I am so excited to
stick my pole in this hole, man.

I'm gonna fucking piss my pants.

Oh my god, it's so nice here.

Dude it's so fucking nice
here, I'm gonna catch me

an eight pound rainbow, man.

- Oh yeah?
- Look at this place, man.

Fuck yeah, dude.

- You think?

- Dave, I fucking know, man,

I got one of those feelings,
bro, deep down in my bones,

man, I got a fucking macker
coming on my line, kid.

Yo, Dave, check out this freaky lure

my grandfather gave me, dude.

It's the most fucked up,
crazy looking thing, dude,

but I caught so many fucking fish with it.

Huh, check that out, huh?

- Looks cool, dude.

Check out my Lure 2000.

As seen on TV.

- Get the fuck outta here with that thing.

- Guaranteed to catch the most fish, dude.

- Where the fuck did you get that thing,

off an infomercial or something?

- Yeah, dude, I was up at
three o'clock in the morning

watching this thing for
like a half an hour.

It was great in action.

Man, you see what I pull
outta this lake, dude,

you're gonna get you one.

You're gonna be jealous of me.

- Jealous of you, right.
- Yeah, dude.

- Oh, fuck, dude, we've been
having so much fun today

and shit, I forgot how much
trouble you're gonna be in

tomorrow when we get home, man.

- Thanks, stick, either did I.

- Well, that'll give you
something to think about

when I'm sitting here catching
all my crazy fish, man.

(laughing)

- Whatever.

Whatever, dick.

- Seriously, bro, you think
your parents are still at home

or did they bail to Canada?

- I seriously don't know, dude.

Dude.

It sucks I'm moving so far away, man.

- Fuck yeah, I know, man.

We've been friends for like so long, man.

- Yep.

Seems like just yesterday
we were in kindergarten

peeking up Heather Stanley's skirt.

- Holy shit, dude, you remember that?

You remember when her
older sister showed us

her fucking tits, dude?

- Yeah, dude, she was like
in high school then, man.

- Yeah, she had some big fucking titties.

- Too bad Heather's
never got that big, huh?

- Dude, those were some
fucking good times, man.

Those were some good times.

(laid back music)

♫ You ever tell a story

♫ How nothing came before me

♫ They probably think I'm crazy

♫ Yes, say

♫ Tell me when

♫ They just say I've been around

♫ Say a thing or two

♫ Somebody like you

♫ Yeah yeah yeah yeah

♫ A lot of dying

♫ Lived a lot of lying

♫ Took a lotta chances

♫ But it's all the same

♫ Can't you see it's just a game

♫ Joke's on you

♫ Nothing you can do

♫ No, no, no, no

- Yo, I think cool board is better

than real life snowboarding, man.

- Yeah.

(laughing)

(growling)

- Shit, man.

- So dead.

- Hey, man I get to play the winner.

- Winner, so you think you're
ready to test these skills?

I don't think so, man.

- Aw, shit, shut up old man,

you don't have any action
in your Depends garments.

- Turn around and
accidentally bitch slap you.

- Yo, we gonna check out that party later?

- What party?

- Oh, my sponsor's having
this little shindig

at some warehouse.

- Oh, nice, will there be
any hotties there, bro?

- The way Brett made it sound

there'll be some quality women there.

Boom.

- Sweet, man, I need to get laid

before I head off to Canada anyway.

- Dude, you need to get laid, period, bro.

What's it been, like a year or two.

- Six months, two weeks, three
hours, and 47 minutes, dick.

- Exactly, you can't hold
your alcohol, that's why.

- Dude, I just like
having a good time, man,

I can't help it.

You know, sometimes the
Jaeger gets the best of you.

- Yeah, hey, man, are we gonna go

check out the party or what, man?

- Fuck yeah, we need to go,
they'll serve us alcohol, right?

- Yeah, it's gonna be set
up just like a bar, man,

free liquor, no ID,
it's gonna be good, man.

- Hey, not only that, but
they're gonna have a dance floor.

We gonna be able to shake our shit.

- Oh, that's so dope, y'all,
I can pick up so many chicks

when I can shake my booty.

- You boys do not know
how to hit the dance floor

when we get there, get out my way,

I'm gonna banish it up, whoa.

- Hey, easy, Junior, I don't know

if it's gonna be that good.

(club music)

- Dude.

- Hey, I gotta go see my rep, man.

- Dude, that's cool, man.

- I'll check you guys later.

- We'll get a table.

- Sounds good, bro.

Hey, Davey, bro, there's
so much pussy here

if you don't get laid
you're fucking gay, kid.

- Never dick.

Let's get some beer.

- This is gonna be the best orgasm

of your life, young lady.

How 'bout some hot whipped cream?

What's an orgasm without whipped cream?

(cheering)

How 'bout some pain, people?

Lemme hear ya.

(blender motor roars)

Oh, man, I'm a little hairy in there,

number two goons, come
over here right now.

Meet me halfway, best orgasm of your life?

You ready?

One, two, three, yeah, woo, uh.

Oh, thank you so much.

- Dude, check out that
bartender, man, she's smoking.

- Aw yes, she is, bro.

- There is nothing better than a hot chick

that serves you beer, huh?

- Yeah, except a hot chick giving you head

while you're drinking the
beer she just got you.

(ringing)

- Hello?

Put it back over here.

Hello, hey.

What's going on, man, how you doing?

I'll call you back.

Jesus Christ.

Here, have a beer, man.

My main man, step up, have a beer.

Hey, you're doing great, man, all that

- Hey, that's cool.

Jason, you know.

(ringing)

- Hello?

Beating what?

(environment drowns out voice)

Yeah, man, you should check it out, man.

He doesn't smoke pot, look
what happens with his career.

- What?

- He's focused in, he's doing well.

(ringing)

- You're telling me you do?

- Hey, hey, hey.

- I can do whatever you want, man.

- Hey, what can I get for you.

Beers and highballs are free,
shots are three bucks apiece.

- Um, I guess you could get
me a couple of those beers.

Four?

- Thirsty, eh?

- Yeah.

Hey, are you from Canada?

- Yeah, how'd you know?

- [David] Thirsty, eh?

- Man, it always slips
out when I'm nervous.

Whoop.

- No, you're doing good,
man, keep focusing in

like you're doing,
really, it's impressive.

You should watch Mark Brown
and take some lessons from him

(ringing)

And you're making progress.

- I appreciate it.
- Your stuff's looking good.

- I really wanna get on--
- You will.

Hello?

- Here you go.

- Thanks.

- Wow, what you got going
on with that bartender, bro?

- Nothing, we're just talking.

- Hey, guys, over here.

Bring me some seven and sos.

- Yeah, we're gonna get so
fucked up tonight, you guys,

this shit's for free.

- Hey, man, where's my beer?

- Aw, fuck, man, I guess Dave forgot, bro,

he was trying to hook up
with that sexy bartender.

- Come on, man, you're kidding me.

Give me your beer.

Hey, someone give me a beer, guys.

Someone give me a beer.

I'm letting you stay at my house.

You guys suck, man, you know that?

I'm gonna remember that next time

you wanna stay at my house.

- Hey, if you remember, could
you bring me back a beer?

- Yeah, I'll take one, too, bro.

- Yeah, can you make that three, four.

- [Man] You're a bunch
of dicks, you know that?

(laughing)

- Tommy, did you have fun today or what?

- Fuck yeah, I did,

more fun of sucking a strawberry
out of a chick's pussy.

- You're sick, man.

- No way.

- No way, you ate food
out of a chick's pussy?

- Yeah, all the time.

- I don't know about sucking
no strawberries, you know.

I'm more into that chocolate
over some me by, technically.

- You wanna go the sweet
route, you gotta go with honey.

Nothing beats good old honey.

- Hey, what are you
ladies doing over here?

- [All] Ohh.

- Major ingredient is pussy.

- Oh.

- This might sound
crazy, but this one time,

this girl made me put peanut butter,

oh, had it for hours, let me tell you,

my tongue was so raw.

(laughing)

- You guys are either full
of it or just plain sick.

- You do not get repeat pussy
without pleasing the pussy.

Pussy, pussy, p-p-p-pussy.

Ah.

Oh.

(cheering)

Our savior.

- Aw, man, you guys are assholes.

I brought those bucket beers,

I thought I would at least get one.

Aw come on, guys, I just waited in line

with all those sweaty mother
fuckers and I'm thirsty.

(laughing)

Come on.

- Stop the whining and take mine, bitch,

why don't you go grab another round.

- Hey Rob, you're gonna have
to go get off that dance floor,

you know what I'm saying?

- None of you boys can dance.

- Are you kidding me
man, Soul Train dancer.

- So, uh, how 'bout later
on, me and you get together

and play a little math game, yeah?

- How do you play the math game?

- Well, first you add me and you together,

you subtract the clothes, divide the legs

and start multiplying.

- You know, I was never good at math.

- Um, well, in that case, I
seem to have lost my number.

Can I have yours?

- Oh, what a coincidence,
I just lost mine,

and I was just about to ask you for yours.

What can I get you?

- Can I get six beers?

- So I'll catch you later?

- You got any pitchers back there?

- Yeah, lemme get you a couple.

- So, must get hit on a lot, you know,

being a bartender and all.

- Yep, all the time.

- That must suck.

- It's not so bad, I just wish sometimes

I was looking through their
beer goggles, you know?

- Do you think girls in
Canada will need beer goggles

when a guy like me's hitting on them?

- What?

- Oh, I'm moving to
Canada in a couple days.

- What, is this a line you're feeding me?

- No, I'm really moving to Canada.

I just thought you,
being Canadian and all,

maybe you could give me some pointers.

- Where are you moving to Canada?

Where are you going?

- This place called Calgary.

- Calgary, I grew up in Calgary.

- That's cool, so you must
know where all the cool

mountains are, or what it's like.

Are there any cool mountains?

- Shit, the snow up there's so good,

sometimes I don't know why I left it.

You need glasses with that?

- No, I'm good, thanks.

My name's Dave.

- I'm Madison.

- Thanks.

- Hey, Dave, keep that cute smile,

you'll be just fine with
those Canadian girls.

(cheering)

- Hey, man, check out those
girls over there by the bar.

- Fuck yeah, that's
what I'm talking about.

- Fuck yeah, those are hot, dude.

- Yeah, and I want that blonde one, man.

- [David] Go fucking get it up.

- I got a beer, couple beers.

- Get couple beers in you, man.

- Oh, yeah?

I don't see you getting any girls.

- I'm just biding my time, man.

(laughing)

What are you laughing at, man?

You don't even know, there
really is a perfect time, man.

- What are you talking about, dude?

Look at Junior over there,
making an ass of himself.

(laughing)

Look at him, what an idiot.

- [Man] That guy's not even
gonna score tonight, man.

- Ow, ow.

- Shit, dude, check out that
hot chick Mike is dancing with.

- Dick.

- Maybe I could hook up with
one of her friends, though.

- Yeah, that's my boy, dude, yeah.

- What a dick.

- Now I'm fully gonna hook
up with one of her friends.

- So you wanna go get a beer?

- Uh, no.

- Oh, dude, what happened, man?

- I don't know.

- Where'd she go, man?

- Fuck her, she's a bitch, man.

- Shit, I was gonna hook
up with one of her friends.

- Yeah, you blew it, man.

- Fuck you, dude, at least
I'm trying to get some pussy.

What the fuck you doing?

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

- Well, check this shit out.

Come on, man, let's go
hit on those chicks.

- All right, I hope this doesn't
fuck up my timing, though.

- What the fuck is up with that guy, bro,

he can be such a little
bitch boy sometimes.

- Born that way, I guess, dude.

Gonna grab another beer, want one?

- Yeah, I want another beer.

- So you gonna ride tomorrow?

- Yeah, definitely, man, I
didn't have enough time today.

- Call, they got a great
half pipe in there.

- So how good are you?

- Pretty good.

I like to ride fast and hard.

- Really.

- Here's a little something
on the house for you.

- (environment drowns
out voice) see you later.

- Okay, I'll be waiting
right here for you.

- So, I was so humiliated today.

There I was on the
chair, and I looked down

and I saw this girl, riding down and wait,

she was wearing the same
snow outfit I had on,

oh, I just wanted to die,
you know what I'm saying?

- Oh, man, that's the
worst thing I ever heard.

- Luckily, you know, we
had her dad's credit card,

we just went straight to shop
and bought her a new one.

- No fucking way, no way, seriously?

Listen, I swear to god,
the same exact thing

happened to me just the other day.

Same exact fucking thing, man.

Except I didn't have
my daddy's credit card

so I had to ride the rest of the day

without any fucking pants on.

- Hey, what's up?

Anybody want some beer?

- No, thank you, I only
drink wine coolers.

- That's the best stuff.

- What the fuck are you
talking about, dude?

- That shit's the most
disgusting shit I've ever had

in my fucking life, man.

- God, is your friend ever rude.

- Dude, I gotta take a fucking piss.

- Let's hit the head, man.

- See you guys later.

- Holy shit, I am so fucking drunk.

- Dude, you gotta slow down
before you pass out again

or you ain't gonna get laid again.

- Oh, what are you talking about, dude,

I got her in the bag, man.

- Aw, shit, what her,
man, you got your Playboy

here again, or something?

- Ah.

- I gotta take a piss, man.

- No way, dude, I'm next, man.

- Fuck you, bro, I'm
jumping in there, man.

- She's all over me, right?

She's fucking freaking
and up and down up here.

- Did you use the phrase that pays?

- What, man?

- Make love to my buttocks, Manny.

- What?

- Oh, what the fuck, dude?

- What?

- You just fucking pissed on me, man.

- I didn't fucking piss on you, bro.

- No, then why the fuck
is my hand wet, bro?

- I don't know, man, maybe
you pissed on yourself

'cause your dick's so small, bro.

- What are you, a fucking
faggot or something, bro?

You're looking at my dick?

- Who you calling a faggot?

- You, bitch.

Mother fucker.

Yeah, you had enough yet, pussy?

Fucking knock you out.

Better stay the fuck down, bitch,

fucking knock you out.

Stay the fuck down.

C'mon, bitch, c'mon.

Shit, yeah.

- Let's get outta here, man.

- Yeah, all right.

Hey, fucker, don't ever
piss on me again, bitch.

- Whoa, dude, thanks a lot,
I didn't get to take a piss.

- Whatever, dude, whatever,

did you see how I fucked that
dude up in the bathroom, bro?

- Yeah, dude, I saw you fuck him up, man.

- All right, what's happening, guys?

Listen to this, bro, I just
beat this guy's ass down

in the bathroom.

- No shit?

- Swear to god, bro, he
was fucking pissing on me,

so I threw down and knocked the dude out.

- So what went down?

- I'll tell you what went down.

What went down is I didn't
get to fucking take a piss,

that's what went down.

Is there another fucking
bathroom in this place, or what?

- Yeah, there's a bathroom over
there by the front entrance.

- All right.

Finish the story, all right, Rocky?

- Yeah, so check it out, right?

So I'm standing there
taking a piss, right,

he starts sprinkling a little bit over me,

I guess he's all fucking
drunk or something,

so I square off to him,
I'm like yo, what up, bitch

- So I understand you're
looking for a math tutor.

- Hey, Dave, what's up?

- How's your night going?

- It's going all right.

You know, people don't tip as
well when the drinks are free,

so kinda sucks.

- So, how 'bout a drink?

- Well, I don't know, I
was about to go on break.

- Come on, you are not
gonna make me get a drink

from that guy.

(laughing)

- Okay, I'll make you a deal.

You come and hang out with me on my break,

and I'll give you all
the free beers you want.

How's that?

- Aren't they already free?

- Yeah, but I didn't have
anything else to bribe you with.

- Well, then, I guess
that's the best deal going.

- Okay, cool.

Ooh.

Ah, that sounds good.

- What?

- Silence.

There's a difference, working
at a bar, and being at a bar.

- Is that because you're always sober

when you're working at the bar?

- No, I'm usually pretty fucked up.

I guess it's because I'm working

and I'm behind a bar
and I can't go anywhere.

Stuck.

- I guess I never thought of it that way.

- So what's taking you to Calgary?

- You know, why do any
Americans move to Calgary?

- I don't know, oil, hockey?

- Yeah, hockey.

I was drafted by a
minor league team there.

- Really?

Which one?

- It was, um, (laughs) I can't even think

of their name right now.

- Whatever, it happens.

You know, you're pretty cute.

- Thanks.

(laughing)

- And kinda shy, too, huh?

Aw, come on, don't worry
about it, it's a good thing.

Listen, I gotta get back.

- Already?

- Yeah, I gotta get back.

You coming in?

- Nah, I'm just gonna hang here for a bit.

- All right, catch you later.

- Fuck, I'm such an idiot.

- I do not remember my
friends looking so good.

- Ah, excuse me, we've never met,

so how expose my friends?

- Ooh hoo, fiesty, hot temper,
that can only mean one thing.

- You know, I don't know
what you're thinking,

but just dream on, babe.

- I'm just a big old huggable teddy bear.

- Hey, Junior, you, why
don't you introduce me

to your fucking hot little hos.

- Dave, Dave, yo, I thought you passed out

in a corner somewhere, man.

- Whatever, dick, dude.

So anyway, my name's Dave.

(laughing)

- Anyway, now that my friends
have introduced themselves,

obviously they're drunk,

we can get back to what
we were talking about.

So if you wanna get sponsored,

the best thing you gotta do is take a shot

of you doing some sort of
air or something, right?

Then take that down to
your local board shop--

- Okay, no, no, no, no, no,
that's not what you gotta do.

You gotta be able to store
more nuts than a squirrel.

- Huh?

- You know, milk the cow.

- What?

- Feed the weasel.

- Yeah, I'm good with animals.

- Hey, (environment drowns
out voice), all right?

- Unless, of course, you're good at it.

Oh, oh, oh.

- Oh my god, you guys are assholes.

- I'm sorry that guy's drunk.

- Whatever, man.

- All right, let's get outta here.

- Only if you bail your friends.

- Right on, let's go.

- Are you coming, Jase?

- Oh, is that how it is,
you just diss your friends

when pussy calls?

- Word.

- What do you say you and
me find a dark little corner

and get to know each
other a whole lot better?

- Why don't you just get a life?

(laughing)

- Oh, Dave, Dave, listen to
me, listen to me, listen.

Those fucking guys, those
guys are idiots, bro,

did you see how prude those chicks were?

They weren't gonna fucking
put out anyway, man.

- You know what, guys,
you guys are beautiful.

No, hey, come on, it's
four ripping snowboarders.

Young, good looking,
pissed out of our minds.

We need to get laid.

- Junior, you're a freak.

- Oh, sex pot want things free.

- Hey, fellers, fellers,

we need to get this fucker laid,

that's who we need to get laid,

we need to make his last night with us

fucking memorable, man.

Fucking memorable.

- Fuck you, I don't need
your help getting laid, dude.

- Yeah?

- No, seriously, dude.

- Too much?

- To tell you the truth,
man, I'm just fucking fine

happy hanging out with my bros, man.

- Oh.

- Well, guys, as truly
touching as that is,

I would much rather be
getting laid on my last night

than hanging out with you hooligans.

- Yo, dude, don't get me wrong,

I'd love to get me some pussy, man.

- Hey, then maybe you guys
should just follow my lead.

- Why?

- Shit, don't you remember?

I was the only white guy to
be featured on Soul Train.

- Ooh, Soul Train.

- What's your name?

- What?

- What is your name?

- What?

- Are you having a good time?

- I can't hear a word you're saying.

- I've been looking all over for you.

I thought you left.

- Ah, no, I'm hanging out with my friends.

- That's cool. You been having fun?

- Yeah, yeah, we're having a good time.

- So I just finished.

I'm off for the rest of the night.

- Great, you gonna hang out
and have a couple beers?

- No, I just wanna get out of her.

- All right.

That's cool.

Good meeting you, though.

Thanks for all the advice about Canada.

- So listen, I was thinking of grabbing

a couple of beers and
going back to my place.

I was hoping you'd come.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Sounds good.

- All right, so let's get going.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, where
you going so fast, huh?

Where you going so fast,
you just got here, bro.

- I'm going home with my new friend, Dave.

- Oh, your new friend, Dave, huh?

Dave, Dave, Dave, buddy, buddy, bro.

- Talk to you later, man.

- Bitch.

- Sup.

- Dude, you see (environment
drowns out voice)

what Dave just took home?

- No, was she hot?

- Dude, you know that
fucking bartender tonight?

- Almost as good looking as her?

- Dude, that was her, bro, that was her.

- No way.

- Absolutely.

- I'm so fucking drunk, I can't, just go.

- Dude, I know, I know, I know, I know.

I can't drive home, I'm all fucked up.

- What are you talking about?

- I'm drunk, you know.

- We didn't drive here, we walked.

Come on.

- So you can put those in the fridge.

Right through there.

What do you wanna hear?

- What do you have?

- [Madison] Everything from
Beastie Boys to Frank Sinatra.

- Whatever, you pick.

- [Madison] Okay.

- A man can beat the horses,

can do anything he
makes up his mind to do.

You like Bukowski?

- [Madison] Yeah, I love him.

- I haven't met that many people

that have even heard of
him, let alone read him.

- [Madison] Really?

What's your favorite book by him?

- Well, I only read one, Ham on Rye.

It was probably the best book I ever read.

- That's a good one, but
there are lots of others.

I think his best books are his
collections of short stories.

- I'll have to read them.

How's this one?

- This is my favorite.

- Really?

- Yeah.

It's got the funniest story

about this guy who shrinks
down to six inches,

just for the pleasure of this woman.

(laughing)

- That sounds pretty creative.

- Yeah, and this one has Hitler
living in the present day.

Actually, these stories
come from his imagination

and not his experiences,
which is kinda cool

because it makes it different
from his other books.

- I think if I ever wrote
a book, it would have to be

from my imagination.

This is way more interesting
than my experiences.

- Why is that?

- I guess it's because I do
so few things to the fullest.

- What do you mean?

- Well, like when I'm snowboarding,

that's all I'm thinking about, you know?

There's a fresh dumping,
laying down first tracks,

I'm not thinking about what
that girl thinks of me,

or people nagging me,

I'm just thinking about snowboarding.

And other things, I guess it's because

I don't have passion for 'em.

I just don't seem to do 'em all the way,

and I see myself doing them in my head,

but when it comes down to
it, I just don't do it.

- Yeah, I know what you mean.

I've been trying to get out of Mammoth

for a couple of years now.

I don't know, go see the world,

meet new people, but life
here's pretty comfortable.

I make good money, I
have fun snowboarding.

I just can't, I just can't make that leap

to go and do what it is I really
see myself doing, you know?

- [David] I would think Mammoth would be

the best place to be and live.

- Like I said, it's nice,

but I've got traveling
in my blood, you know?

It's like, what if you
had to go play for a team

in Michigan?

- What do you mean?

- Well, you wouldn't get to snowboard.

I mean, where you're
going, you've got some

of the best mountains in the world.

- I'd have to be able to snowboard.

It just means so much to me.

- Course it does.

- What if I never knew what
it felt like to be 20 feet

in the air, practically upside
down, heart just pounding,

just knowing I'm gonna stick it,

and when I do, the rush of
excitement and adrenaline.

Like, I'm at the top of the mountain,

and it's super steep,

it's just this tiny little
chute to get down in,

heart's just pounding, 'cause
you're scared shitless.

Just being able to say
fuck it and just go.

(laughing)

- You are so fucking sexy, Dave.

You know what?

I have to get up pretty early tomorrow.

So you gonna come to bed with me?

- Sure.

- Dude, I can't believe you fucking scored

with that hot bartender last night

and I didn't get fucking shit, man.

- Yeah, well, you know, I
guess I've been saving up

all my charm to unload on
the hottest chick ever.

- No, dude, Dave, seriously, bro, for once

you didn't fucking pass out.

For one time, bro, you
didn't fucking pass out,

- Ah, probably right, probably right.

- How old was that chick, dude?

- Dude, she's like 26, easy.

- Get the fuck outta here,
does she know how old you are?

- No, I told her I was moving to Canada

to play for some minor
league hockey team up there.

- Get the fuck outta her,
bro, she believe that?

- Yeah.

- You fucking dog, bro,
my boy, Dave, the dog.

- You know it, man, I
learned from the best.

- Oh, true dat.

(laughing)

("Lemmings" by Belvedere)

♫ That's the role of the government

♫ Keeping track of what you spend now

♫ It's our land of freedom and democracy

♫ With the budget gone and spent

♫ Separation imminent and

♫ We're expected happily
to fall in line and

♫ So we follow the leader and what he does

♫ Know why I'm doing it

♫ Just because I'm sick
of thinking for myself.

♫ Oh ya a

♫ And I hope to God I don't stir the pot

♫ Keep my brain from original thought

♫ Oh lemmings are cool

♫ Lemmings are fun

♫ Not too distinct

♫ And I wanna be one right now.

♫ Front of her was a long white line

♫ Should she go or should she try now

♫ To listen to her friends
when she wasn't sure

♫ No opinion of your own

♫ Soon enough you were alone cause

♫ It's hard to find a friend
when you're on a ledge

♫ Follow the leader and what he does

♫ I know what I'm doing and just because

♫ I'm sick of thinking for myself

♫ Oh yeah.

♫ I hope to God I don't stir the pot

♫ Keep my brain from original thought

♫ Oh lemmings are cool

♫ Lemmings are fun

♫ Not too distinct

♫ And I wanna be one right now

- You went off all day, man.

- Yeah, thanks, bro, but seriously,

you have been riding better
than I've ever seen you, man.

- What can I get you guys.

- Um, I just want a cheeseburger.

- Yeah, I'll have one too, man.

Oh, hey, hey, there tiger,
how's the nose doin', man?

- Oh, how's it goin', faggot?

- Oh, what, you wanna take
another fucking hurting from me?

- Shut up, punk.

- C'mon, Mike, let's
just get outta here, man.

- Yeah, Mikey, you better go.

- You know what, you're a
real fucking idiot, guy.

- Let's go again, bro.

- What, you gonna hop over this counter

and take another ass beating?

You seem to be real good at that.

- Man, let's just get out of here, dude.

We're having good day, we
don't want any bullshit, man.

- Yeah, yeah, all right.

- See you guys again sometime.

- I hope so, Dickey.

("Here Today, Gone Today" by Downway)

♫ Turn on the tube while
it still has a pride

♫ 'Cause you're all watching too much TV

♫ GI Joe never sold out to nobody

♫ They're all blasting their own sixties

♫ So hop in the top wings

♫ And edge on the ride

♫ 'Cause you're so getting so would've had

♫ I knew that the song is a suffering joke

♫ There's no news and when there's no band

♫ Just another more display

♫ So what's the further of the day

♫ As soon you're we are rising up

♫ Every seek company

♫ They're too fly to show me

♫ Join us today

♫ Know why today

- Hey, we're outta here, man.

- Oh.
- Catch you guys later.

- Hey, you better be leaving, baby.

- Yeah, dude, let us know if the snow is

as good as they say it is,
we'll fly up there in no time.

- Ah, no, you will not catch
me up there, it's way too cold.

I'll see you when you get back to LA.

- Peace out, homey.
- Later.

- And then some to you.

- Hey, don't freeze your balls off, buddy.

(laughing)

- I won't, dudes.

- Yo, you don't mind
taking Junior home, right?

- He doesn't mind, it's on his way.

- Yeah, dude, it's cool.

- All right, well, shit, fellas,

let's get this shit on
the road then, right?

- All right.

- Yeah, you wanna put
one on me right there?

(laughing)

- Drive safe, boys.

- Take it easy, boys.

- Pull over if you need to,

call when you get there.

Don't run with the machine.

(peaceful music)

♫ Dreams you can mend

♫ Knew you take it to heart

♫ The words that you can form

- Sup, Dave?

- I was just thinking, man.

- What, bro, about how much
shit you're gonna get into

when you get home?

- No.

Whatever happens, dude, happens.

I don't even know where
my parents are, anyway.

- You think they're still in California?

- No, I think my dad dragged my mom out,

saying something like, "If
Dave's gonna pull a stunt

like this, he's gonna have to
find his own way to Calgary."

Good thing she left me
that credit card, man.

- So what's to worry about, bro?

- I was just thinking, man.

I had such a good time this weekend.

I don't want it to end.

- Dude, I know what you're saying.

It was fucking fun, man.

♫ It always seemed to me

♫ If I said I'm so it's more

♫ Hoping that I can win nobody lose

- Hey, man, if your parents ain't home,

you can crash at my place, dude.

I'll give you a ride to the airport

whenever you can get a flight.

- Sure, dude.

Maybe I'll never get a flight.

- Fuck, yeah, that'd be cool, right?

I mean, seriously, bro, you
can't get used to it up there?

You can always fucking
come back here, man.

♫ Give the ticket to the
ones that you can't fix

♫ Even though you try and you know

♫ you're on your own train.

Fuck, dude, I can't tell if anyone's home.

- Yeah, me neither.

- Well, go check it out, bro.

- All right.

- Dude, I cannot believe your mom

did not just freak out on you, man.

- Yeah, she's probably
gonna let me say goodbye

and then once I get inside,

she's gonna go off on me.

- Yeah.

I hope your pops ain't home.

- Yeah, makes two of us, yeah.

I guess I'm outta here, man.

- All right, bro, I'll catch you later?

(dreamy music)

- Thanks for the ride.

(upbeat country music)

♫ Super duper dirt bike

♫ On everybody's mind.

♫ Rippin' up the road of the highway

♫ That's fine, let's ride

♫ Let's ride

♫ Really hot day with
that wind and red top

♫ Nothing gonna stop us,
not even that rain, God

♫ Let's ride

♫ Let's ride

♫ Let's ride

♫ Let's ride

♫ Let's ride

♫ Have a couple of beer

♫ Tell a couple old stories

♫ Have a couple of beer

♫ And tell a couple old stories

♫ All right

♫ Playing with the devil every single day

♫ Who would've ever thought

♫ It would end up this way

♫ Let's ride

♫ C'mon let's ride

♫ It's been too long

♫ I can't remember your face

♫ Nothing was a waste

♫ Let's ride

♫ Let's ride

♫ Let's ride

♫ Let's ride

♫ Let's ride

♫ Have a couple of beer

♫ Tell a couple old stories

♫ Have a couple of beer and
tell a couple old stories

♫ All right

♫ I got my head against the window

♫ And I don't know which way I'm going now

♫ I got my head against the window

♫ And I don't know which way I'm going now

♫ I got my head against the window

♫ And I don't know which way I'm going now

("Jack That Tastes Like Rye" by Downway)

♫ It's what's been said

♫ I'll blame the feds

♫ The keg is full inside my mind

♫ Now all I've got

♫ A bourbon shot

♫ I'm drinking Jack that tastes like

♫ Jack that tastes like rye

♫ Jack that tastes like rye

♫ Jack that tastes like rye