LasseMajas detektivbyrå - Kameleontens hämnd (2008) - full transcript

Around the time that the chief of police is elected the Most Popular Citizen of Valleby, a thief and impostor is released after two decades in jail and returns to the town with a revenge plan in mind.

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My children.

Here. Careful.

So. Go!

During the highest place
in the deepest darkness.

-may my dear treasure rest.

Woe to him who tries
steal my apple!

Then the earth will crumble and the
the highest shall be the lowest!

That is my curse.

You bastard! I can see that you
casting lustful glances at my treasure!

-Your Grace, I assure you...
-Ut!

Hurry up! No one will be richer
than me. Duke Valle of Valleby.



-But Your Grace...
-Ut!

No one should be allowed to steal my treasure.
Barricade the gate!

Lasse?

Lasse? What are you doing?

-I'm busy. Come on.
-Stop reading.

There's something fishy going on.

I've been watching
the jewellery shop all morning.

Ture Modig keeps on
with some secret package.

-and Muhammad Karat
is super stressed.

Muhammad Karat
is heading towards the museum.

-What's so weird about that?
-He had a mysterious box with him.

He may be pressed for money
by a villain.

Maja,
you're chasing bad guys that don't exist.

You say,
looking for a fairy tale treasure.



-Colla. The chief of police.
-Where he's going...

How is life with you then,
Lasse and Maja?

Your right sole creaks, Lasse.

-Listen, I have an important errand.
-What are you going to do?

-It's a...
-A surprise?

Yes, you could say that. Something
that every police officer needs.

For both benefit and companionship.

-Welcome to Valleby!
-Thanks.

Welcome to Valleby! Like I said.

-Are you alone?
-Yes, I am unmarried.

It has never felt
quite right before.

Once it was close to the eye,
but she didn't have a clean slate.

Quite a tragic story, actually.

I meant if you were the only cop
here in Valleby.

Yeah? Yes, I am.

Now I went away a little here.

Yes, but in the police force
you have to be one step ahead.

Quite right.

I really hope that you will
enjoy working with us, Katja Örn.

A mystery woman?
But what did she look like then?

-Mystical?
-No, she looked happy.

-And the Chief of Police too.
-The police chief has a fiancée!

-She came with the boat!
-A fiancée? The police chief?

Does he have nothing to do but
meet ladies on business?

It is not certain
that it's his fiancée.

Bring something good to the police station
and congratulate from me.

-Hi.
-Hi.

-She said yes.
-To you?!

Yes, to me.

-What?
-Barbro has said yes.

-Congratulations!
-What fun!

-We are getting married.
-It was the mysterious box.

We have to celebrate and make a cake!

Uh! Finally, a wedding. Thank you.

It's been so long here in Valleby.

Sit down. Please sit.

Here you go.

Hi. Come on in.

May I present
Katja Örn - my new secretary.

-Secretary?
-This is Lasse and Maja.

My helpers. They have saved
my poor neck many times.

-Can't police officers wear uniforms?
-We are not policemen but detectives.

Well, Valleby is a quiet, nice
and nice city. It is.

But there have been some strange
events of a criminal nature.

That has to be admitted.

-A whole row of villains.
-And scammers.

-But now the crime wave has subsided.
-After rain comes sun.

-Everyone?
-It was as true as it was said.

Now Valleby
so lovely Sleepy again.

-Sad.
-No, but it's fun too.

Tomorrow, for example. Election Day.
We celebrate it every year.

In memory of Duke Valle.
Valleby's founder.

-He hid a great treasure.
-Yeah, it's just a saying we have here.

That's why nobody found it,
because everyone thinks it's a fairy tale.

"Now Valleby is so wonderfully sleepy
again." How can he say that?

"Woe to anyone who tries to steal my
apple. Then the earth will crumble"-

- "and the highest
will be the lowest."

"The highest shall be the lowest."
What does that really mean?

What's that?

There is the entrance to the treasury
and the golden apple.

What makes
that you become the richest man in the world?

Exactly. Duke Valle didn't want
someone would be richer than himself.

So he locked himself in with the apple
and all their money.

Smart.

Something has to happen soon.
I'm rotting.

Conny, it's time! You're a free man.

Valleby residents! Friends!

It's time to crown the winner
in Vallebybladet's competition!

Valleby's most popular person.

The winner is none other
than our own chief of police!

Bravo!

The justification reads:

The police chief meets
all three characteristics of the competition

-of how a true Valleby resident should be.

Humble, wise and...

Yes, the third we have
not quite figured out yet.

What could it be?

As chief of police, perhaps I should beat
a battle not to steal.

Good!

Yes! Honest!

I'll carve those words
in my heart.

Thank you!

Yes!

Wait a minute, Chief.

After all you've done for
Valleby we have another surprise.

We have asked Ture Modig
create a bust of you.

A quadruple life for
Chief! He lives!

Hooray, hooray, hooray!

-Fructuous!
-Yes, it's a symbol of death.

-Death?
-Should it be seen as a threat?

-What do you mean by that?
-Do you have any enemies?

Impossible. The chief of police is Valleby's
most popular person.

I've been doing this bust
for several months.

But who would want a bust
by the Chief of Police?

It must be personal.
The question is why?

And who?

We can take the evidence and
check for fingerprints.

Well, except for yours, Chief.

I'm sure it's just a prank. There are
no bad guys left in Valleby.

No, listen, now I have to
in and help Katja.

She's so fresh...
New, I mean.

New at work, I mean.

It's been a long time since we saw each other,
you and me, Chief.

Are you ready for a little play?
Thief and cop?

Thief and cop!

Did you hear that, Daddy's little darling?

We're going to be rich soon, you and I.

"Honest"? Should it be something
to brag about it?

We have big plans for you,
The Chief of Police.

We thought we'd kill two birds with one stone,
you understand.

We will find the treasure of Duke Valle.

But first, my dear Chief Constable,
we will take revenge on you.

The chameleon is a fast reptile
Catching flies with a smile

The tongue as swift as the Indian's arrow
It's the chameleon's style

Still I am green
Still I am red

The tongue goes out and the fly is dead

Good morning, Commissioner.

-Good morning.
-Good morning.

But the Chief of Police,
What are you wearing?

-I couldn't find my uniform.
-Yes, but pajamas?

Yeah, I guess I'll have to sign myself up
for disorderly conduct.

Yes, I have one in reserve.

Thank you.

I slept so badly last night.
I had a strange dream.

It's a full moon and most
sleep badly then.

Well, is it a full moon?
Well, that explains it.

And then there's that awful
the story of the skull.

It was probably just a joke.

In that case it was
a very bad joke.

What a nice...
What a nice thing you've done here.

Orderly and nice.

You look nice too.

In uniform, I mean,
when you're wearing it...

-So yes.
-Nice.

I've searched for police chief
plus skull and crossbones.

There is nothing.

Try skull plus bust.

No, nothing there either.

That's something we're missing. The Chief of Police
is not very helpful.

He's supposed to be
be with that Katja Mås.

Örn.

I don't understand how he can think
that she's more important than the case.

-He's probably in love.
-How do you know?

-What?
-That he is in love.

-He seems a bit unworldly.
-Is that how you get?

Yeah, you just think about that person
all the time.

You can get a stomach ache and you
burps a little, and then you can't eat.

Not eating? Help, I'm hungry,
aren't you?

No, or yes.

-Take another one.
-Thanks.

-Mm. They are good.
-They are a bit dry.

-Well, it's been there for a while.
-How long then?

Yeah, I'm... A couple of months maybe.

-Maybe more.
-Maybe it might.

"Under the highest place
in the deepest darkness."

What is loud? A skyscraper?
No, that didn't exist in the Middle Ages.

"The earth shall crumble and the highest
will be the lowest."

What is high
and might fall apart? A mountain?

No, a volcano!

What's that?

Gently.

-It was me a little egg.
-But what do you think it could be?

I would guess a reticulated python.

Or possibly
a Caucasian possum.

Hand over the keys, Krister. Let
children find out who laid the eggs.

No, the light is broken,
we can't go in here then.

-One poor time maybe.
-Ash, come on.

But what about you?

No, I'm not afraid of the dark
when it is light.

You'll be fine on your own, won't you? Now I got
a very important issue.

Oh, yeah, or...

Good night.

Excuse me! Excuse me! You can't go
...walking around with such dusty shoes...

-when you are accompanied by
such a beautiful lady.

Yeah?
Now I don't really have company.

You've got something going on,
I see it in you.

What?

Love is a stimulus for the heart,
but locally assesses the mind.

-You're welcome!
-What do you mean by that?

Being in love is like losing
mind, it may be worth it.

-I haven't seen you before.
-I'm passing through.

Lo and behold.

Now they are so shiny
that you can see yourself in them.

Yeah, it wasn't bad.
What do I owe?

What you owe me
you can never pay it back.

I'm sorry?

It's free. Yes, it's free.

-Thank you very much.
-Good luck with love!

Check it out, I know what it is!
A brockesin egg!

What?

And a chameleon. A chameleon egg.

"The chameleon changes appearance
to hide from their enemies."

And it lays eggs.

"Before the female lays her eggs, she searches
a suitable place to put them."

A suitable place... In a skull?

Chief! The Chief of Police!

And chameleon?

With feet like a parrot,
trind tail, 5 toes.

And a whiptail.

But it can hardly
carry off a bust of granite.

-No, of course not.
-Chameleon? Chameleon...

Wait a minute. Now it's ringing
a watch here. I have it now.

The chameleon is a fast reptile
Catching flies with a smile

The tongue as swift as the Indian's arrow
It's the chameleon's style

It was a song
that I sang as a child, I think.

That childhood... Singing and playing,
juice and cookies.

I was suddenly so hungry
on something sweet.

Still I'm green, still I'm red
The tongue flies out and the fly is dead

Still I'm yellow, still I'm blue

If I ever get like that - in love -
then hit me on the head.

Sure. With something hard.

There. Now Daddy has to work.