L'art de séduire (2011) - full transcript

THE ART OF SEDUCTION

Love exists around me.
It's buzzing all around me.

But it exists without me,

even though I have lots of love
inside me.

I truly feel love for others,

very strong, very sincere love.

But no one feels that love.

The world simply doesn't need me.

All right. That's very good.

Now we have to try to understand
why you feel that way.

I'm fine, thanks.



- Goodbye, Ms. Thomas.
- See you next week.

Hello, Hélène.

Hello.

How are you feeling this week,
Hélène?

For over a month,
I've been doing much better.

I've been doing...
I've been doing very well.

Oh?

In the 3 years I've been in therapy
with you, I feel like...

I've gotten to know myself.
I feel less anxious.

I'm calmer.

Yes.
It seems you're doing much better.

I don't know what you think,

but you've really helped me...

I was thinking it might be
time for...



for...

"For?"

For me to...

For you to end your sessions?

Yes.

- What do you think?
- Well, I think...

my relationship with my daughter
is really good,

and I don't feel guilty anymore.

I feel like I've dealt with
my divorce.

So I think I can stop.

If you feel that way, you're right.

- So we'll stop here.
- All right.

It will be strange not to see you
anymore, but that's how it goes.

- But don't hesitate...
- And... Sorry.

Go ahead.

What were you going to say?

Don't hesitate to call,
to keep in touch.

Of course.

We'll stop there for today.

I... Well...

You're...

very likable.

OK. Thank you.

Maybe we'll see each other again,
Hélène. Right?

Uh, yes.

Then I'll see you soon, perhaps.

Yes, perhaps.

Goodbye.

J-F!

- How are you?
- Not great.

I feel like my skull is swelling
while I sleep.

And my eyes are shrinking,
you know...

Like this.

My arms are getting longer,
like this.

These feelings are making me
really anxious.

I feel like I'm part of my bed.

Can I tell you something, J-F?

I think the drug you prescribed me

is having strange effects on me.
- Then stop.

Stop taking it.

Don't take it anymore.

OK. OK.

I won't take it anymore.
But during the day, I'm fine.

It's at night that I go crazy.

How are you?

Oh, you're all pale!

I'm having a hard time right now.

Oh?

I admit... people's problems
are beyond me.

Thanks.

I'm crazy in love.
I think about it all the time.

- It's all-consuming.
- Why don't you see a shrink?

Go see a shrink.

Wait... No, you know, shrinks...

There are times when I want
to just go fishing at sea.

Shall we run a bit?

Come on!

- Need anything?
- Yes. I'll have another, please.

Uh, no. Actually, no.

Well, yes.
I'll have the same thing.

No problem.

- Hey!
- Hello.

Hello, Hélène. How are you?

Fine, and you?

I was in the neighborhood
at the dentist. It's not far.

Would you like to have a drink?

I can only stay 5 minutes.
I have to pick up my daughter

from tennis.

If you want, we can sit there.

Great. Perfect.

It's nice to see you...

Can we be a little less formal?
It's up to you.

All right.
Let's be less formal.

We've known each other for 3 years.
We have the right, after all.

Yes.

What will you have?

I don't know. A coffee.

Excuse me!

- A coffee.
- I'll bring your beer.

- It's waiting for you.
- Ah, yes. Hello.

- A coffee and a beer.
- OK.

So... how's the store doing?

It's doing well.
It's doing very well.

- How are you doing?
- Fine. Well...

You know...

People love talking about
their problems. It never ends.

It goes in one ear and out the other.
I've heard so many...

Really?

Well, I'm joking. I mean...
I'm serious about what I do.

A coffee for the lady.

A beer for the gentleman.

Thank you, young man.

But isn't your career a calling?

No. I left Saint-Malo at 19.

I came here for school and
to get away from my family.

I got interested in psychology
because my sister had problems.

The poor thing had 2 personalities.

They thought she was autistic, but
she had a rare, serious illness.

That's probably why I became
interested in psychology.

But she's happy now.

With drugs, she doesn't know
who she is. She's in a loony bin.

Right.

Do you have children?

No. But I could, I think.

I don't know. Well, I hope.

I'd like to have some.
I think I can.

- With a woman, of course.
- What else do you like to do?

Oh, lots of things.

I like photography, biking...

How about you?

I love horses.

You know, horse racing,
horseback riding, polo...

Oh, me too.

Even playing the ponies.
I like that.

- I do it every Sunday.
- Horses are beautiful.

I never rode a hobby horse, but...

Why not, one day?
It's a dream of mine.

Well, I have to go.

And...

Are you better able to express
your feelings now?

Yes. But I feel
less spontaneous than before.

I don't know. It's a lot more
complicated. It's a shame.

Yes, but...
You can be loved.

You just

have to find the right person,

someone who listens...

Yes.

That's true.

I need a man like that.

Sorry.

- It's no big deal.
- Sorry. I wanted to grab...

the glass.

- Do you want a napkin?
- It's fine.

It will dry. It's nothing.
I have to go get my daughter.

But we need more time to talk.

Would you like to come over
for dinner, Thursday night?

- Yes, with pleasure.
- Thursday the 23rd? Can you come?

- Yes.
- Goodbye.

- See you Thursday, Hélène.
- OK!

Jean-François...

I used to cheat on Sylvia
sometimes with Carole.

But since I met Clara,

I'm afraid of hurting Sylvia.

Sylvia's fragile.

We don't see each other as much,
but when we do, it's amazing.

She may be cheating on me too,
but I don't care.

- Oh?
- Carole is really good in bed.

It's not easy, managing 3 women.
I love all 3 of them.

At some point,
you'll have to choose.

I'd like to avoid any conflict,
for them to say, "Thanks. Bye."

But why did you start
a relationship with... Clara?

How did that happen? Tell me.

One night, I was hanging out
in a hip bar.

You know, I took a class
on how to pick up women.

Oh?

3 years ago, I was very shy
and awkward.

- It was right after the accident.
- Oh?

I took a class with a coach.
It was really good for me.

Now it's totally normal.

When I like a woman, I hit on her.

It's a lifestyle.

It's a real addictive pleasure.
I need it, like air.

I love the first few minutes
when you meet someone,

when you approach a woman and
feel her being interested in you.

It's exciting.

For example, when a woman blushes,
it's special.

It's exhilarating to feel her
take the bait.

It really makes me
want to be alive again.

Excuse me, I...

Can I ask you a question
outside of our session?

Yes.

I know it's not usually done,
but it's important.

Oh?

I need advice, personal advice,
between men.

Oh?

I'm in love with a woman.

We've known each other for a while,

but when we're together,

I can't seem to show her
she's important to me.

Oh?

With her, as soon as I say something,

the next second I think,
"What an idiot!"

I keep saying
stupid, uninteresting things.

I lose track of my thoughts.

- I'm not myself.
- Oh?

Yes. I'm seeing her tomorrow.
We're having dinner together.

I'm scared of messing it up.
Can you give me some advice?

Yes. You get good at seduction
by practicing.

It's like a sport.
You have to practice.

How do I practice?

Practice with other women,
any women.

Even in the street.

It will help you acquire
a certain ease

and expertise to harness your
talent for seduction with her.

Can you give me any tips,

or tricks? There must be some rules.

Yes, but the best thing
would be for me to follow you,

for me to be behind you so
I could coach you.

Could you do that, today?

Women need to be loved.

The aim is to make them think
they're choosing us.

A shrink should be able to see
what's unique about a woman.

Yes, more or less.

For example, if she does her hair,

if she likes fashion,
nice clothes, sports...

Try to find her thing. Mention it,
but in a roundabout way.

You have to surprise her by
talking about what she likes.

Talk to her about herself,
but indirectly.

Exactly. You have to draw her in.
Making her laugh is good.

For example, if a woman walks by
with a little dog on a leash,

you say, "Look out, there's
a tiger!" and you jump.

Then you laugh with her
and take it from there.

I see.

It's only hard the 1st time.

You have to be very natural,
very relaxed...

You bring up nice, surprising
topics of conversation.

OK? Shall we try?

- Let's do it.
- Come on.

You try it. I'll watch.

Hello.

Hey! Hello, young man!

How's it going? Life, school, etc.?

Are your parents cool?
Do you have a girlfriend?

What do you want?

He's cute.
He seems really bright.

- Like his mother.
- Do you know her?

No, like you. Are you his big sister?
His babysitter?

No. A friend of his mother's.
Is there a problem?

No. I just meant,
"He's cute, like you."

- You're bright.
- Right, OK.

Wrong interest.
She doesn't care about the kid.

Oh, OK. It's not easy.

Is it easier with older women?

Oh, no! No old ladies. They'll
talk your ear off. Let's keep going.

- Her?
- Yes.

Go on. Attack!

Ah, a beautiful woman...

Ah, a big jerk.

Not bad. With a little subtlety,
it will work better.

Her. Try to use physical contact,

like, "Let me take your arm."

Try to block her for a second
with your body. Go!

Unbelievable!

Watch where you're going!

How are you? Athletic?

Are you OK?

Yes, much better.
When I look at you, it doesn't hurt.

A guy just threw himself
at my feet.

- Well?
- It hurts.

Let's keep going.
You're warming up.

- OK? Let's go.
- I need a pharmacy.

- Hello.
- Hello, sir.

I fell on my knee.
Do you have

a cream, something like Bengay?

Of course. Are you bleeding?

- Did you disinfect it?
- No, it's not bleeding.

It just hurts.

OK. Bengay.

Oops! Sorry.

Do you have a cream for charm?

Excuse me?

A cream that makes you charming,
beautiful?

You're so pretty, I thought
you must use it often.

Or a pill, maybe?

For charm?

Yes. Charm is like beauty,
with a little something extra.

Yes, I have some.

Come closer.

Sorry?

What do you want?

Is it my chest?
Does it turn you on?

- Oh, no.
- Yes, it is. I can see it.

Not at all!

Can't you think about anything else?
All men think about is sex!

It's unbelievable!

We're human beings.
I have a brain!

I'm not just a pair of breasts
and you a pair of balls!

- You're all obsessed! Get out!
- I'm sorry.

Get out! Leave me alone!

Go see a shrink, you sicko!
You need help!

What happened?

Let's be on a first-name basis.
It'll be easier. I have an idea.

I'm going to give you
a mandatory exercise.

Can you hear me? Are you OK?

Yeah... I tried something
with the pharmacist.

What you're suggesting,
your techniques,

aren't they a bit stupid?

Are you joking?
They're not stupid at all.

You just need to practice.

What matters is experience.
You must know that.

You need to experience things.
You need to live to understand.

You can't analyze.
You have to live, seduce.

Feel what you've experienced.

Right. You're an expert.

OK.

Buy a bouquet and give it to her.

Go ahead. I'll watch.
That florist is beautiful.

Go on. Try to get her number.
Do it, or I will.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Can I help you?
- Hello.

Yes. I'd like
a nice bouquet of...

roses! Roses are good.

Yes. Roses. They're to...

To make a salad?

No. To give someone.

- What would you suggest?
- Is it love? Red ones.

I don't know yet.
It's platonic.

Then maybe pink.

Pink roses.

These ones, instead.

My name isn't "Instead."
It's Sophie.

Yes, Sophie.

That's a pretty name.
I'm Jean-François.

I'll take 11 pink roses.

Not the red ones, OK? Pink.

My grandmother was named Rose.
She was beautiful, like you.

Thank you.

You'll see. She'll like them.

I hope these do the trick.
It's cute.

They're for a friend of my mother's.

She's having her leg amputated.
Gangrene.

- That's awful.
- Yes.

No, I'm joking. They're for
a woman with all her appendages.

OK. I see.

Here. That will be 44 euros, please.

Good luck.

Actually, they're for you, Sophie.

I'm giving them to you.

I like women.

That's a good one.

It's not funny. It's true.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

So?

Nice, lesbian,
with a funny sense of humor.

Some people might like that.

- Are you OK?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm beat.

I'm exhausted. It's not for me.
It's not my thing.

Being rejected by women all day
is no fun.

I struck out dozens of times
before it started working.

You have to practice.
You can't be afraid of rejection.

Yeah, but I just want one.
Only one.

And you... You have tons.

You must master the art of seduction.
You have to practice.

Hard work matters more than talent.

Yeah...

OK?

OK, I'm going to head home.

We'll do it again when you want.
Call me. Come over for dinner. OK?

No, no. Are you joking?
Put that away.

I'm happy to help you.

We're cool. Take care.

Oh, wow.

Watch and learn.

In 2 minutes,
I'll have her phone number.

Miss...

Excuse me.

Can I ask you a question? Hello.

Did you know the government
is imposing a tax on beauty?

- No.
- No?

The BAT, the beauty added tax.
You'll have to pay the maximum.

My friend is an expert
in the beauty tax.

- Want to have coffee with me?
- OK.

I think he can help you.
What do you say?

Excuse me.

I have a bouquet I don't know
what to do with. Want it?

I'll give it to you.

- Are you sure?
- Yes. You can have it.

Well, thanks.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Pssst.

- I'm in the middle of a thriller.
- Sorry?

I'm reading a Norwegian crime novel.

It's scary. It's awful.

Norway must be beautiful.

I write too.

- Oh? You write?
- Yes.

For fun.

What do you write?

Lots of little things.

My dream would be to write
a really good book

that's scary,
or a captivating thriller.

For example, someone finds
a man lying in the street,

all alone, on the wet pavement.

And... he has a fork in his back.

And there's a piece of an ear
on the ground.

In his right hand, he's holding
a piece of a wedding dress.

The detectives arrive,
and before he dies, he says,

"My dog has premonitions.
He knows who killed me."

That's it.

That's good.
You have a good imagination.

Yes.

Come join me.

OK. Thanks.

What are you drinking?

It's a Fuzzy Parrot. I'm Estelle.

Jean-François.
Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too.

- What will the little man have?
- A Fuzzy Parrot.

If there's no Parrot,
I'll have a pigeon or a sparrow.

- What do you do for a living?
- I'm a psychotherapist.

A shrink! That's good.

- Well, "good"...
- I'm a physical therapist.

I take care of the body
and you the mind. That's funny.

Here's your Parrot, sir.
There were no more pigeons.

I haven't had one of these
in years.

Are you seeing anyone?

No.

2 years ago, my fiancé
left me for a stripper.

- Have you ever been engaged?
- No.

No strippers wanted to marry me.

Who were those for?
Were you meeting someone?

It doesn't matter anymore.

- You look familiar.
- Really?

You look like that Canadian writer

who went off to live alone
in Alaska.

Who's that?

I don't know his name.

He wrote books about
his love of nature,

wide open spaces.
He ended up getting

eaten by a bear. Know who I mean?
- No.

Well, you look a little like
a tormented artist,

a little worried.

I do have an artistic side.

It eats away at me,
so I take photographs.

What kind of photographs?

I don't show them to anyone,
but they're mostly of fish.

Do you scuba dive?

No, no.

I take pictures of fish
I find at the fish market.

That's twisted.

Yes, it is.

Can I see them?

- They're at my place.
- Is it far?

You're know, they're pretty strange.
They're close-ups of fish.

Yes, but that interests me.

Maybe another time.
I have to go back to work.

I don't have time either. I'll pay,
since you gave me the flowers.

But...

maybe we could...

See each other again? Maybe.

But... Really? OK.

- Should I give you my number?
- Yes. Give it to me.

No, I'll get yours.

06 23...

92 95 47.

- J-F.
- Last name?

Villaire. V, i, l, l, a, i, r, e.

Mr. Villaire, shrink.
Now you have my number.

OK. Well, we'll talk soon,
as they say.

Don't mind me. I'm a little tipsy.

Sorry. You seem very honest...

- I like honesty.
- When we were talking...

did you like what I said?

The way I approached you...
Nothing shocked you?

"Shocked me?" No.

What impression did you get
of me in such a short time?

I don't know. Maybe we're made
to be together forever

and have tons of kids.

Maybe, OK.

It's up to you.

- Goodbye, Jean-François.
- Bye, Estelle.

I forgot the flowers. Ciao!

Jean-François...

Hello. Come in.

- Here.
- Thank you.

- You're 7 minutes late.
- I am? Shoot.

I say that because
I was watching the clock.

I'm very punctual.

Welcome to my place.

You have a nice place.

It's not what I expected.

Why not?

I was expecting something...
more modern.

- "Modern?"
- Like the way you dress.

I don't know why.
No, I love old furniture.

It's not really old.

I buy a lot of fake old furniture.

- It's much more sturdy.
- Oh, right.

It ages better. It's just as nice,
if you like...

- You don't like it?
- Yes, I do.

It's very... warm.

It's warm.

Except those.

I was looking for 27cm-wide paintings
for that wall,

and one day,

I found the exact size.

That way, they cover the wall
perfectly.

Interesting.

I always walk around with
a measuring tape in my pocket.

I really like this one.

Yes.

It's always nice to see
a horse... grazing.

- Is that what you call it?
- I love horses.

At one time, certain
human civilizations

evolved thanks to horses.

Oh, right.

If we hadn't domesticated them,
the world would be different.

Can you imagine if all we had
domesticated were pigs?

Westerns would've been weird.
John Wayne on a pig!

Can you imagine?

Yes, I can.

What would you like to drink?

Sorry, I was joking.
I'd love a Pernod.

- Oh, I don't have any!
- Whatever you like, or have.

Well, I have pastis, beer
or orange juice.

- I'll have a pastis then.
- No, I'm joking. It was funny.

You know, at first,
I was totally against...

shrinks.

But...

Now I see your value.

Therapy did me a lot of good.

Yes... Please don't think of me
as your shrink anymore.

I'm sure you can see
people's problems right away.

There are behaviors
I know how to analyze...

Exactly.

I wanted your advice about someone.

Oh? Who?

My daughter takes tennis lessons
with a teacher.

His name is Philippe and...

he's been talking to me
for a while.

And he's very nice.
He's an athlete.

Really good looking.

He flirts with me...

And?

And he's coming over.

He'll be here in a minute.
I wanted to see what you thought,

your impression of him.

But... Weren't we going to...?

Then we'll have dinner together,
just us 2. He'll stay 5 minutes.

And if you don't mind,
we won't say you're a shrink.

What do you want me to say?

That you have a vintage shop in
the Loire Valley. Make up something.

But if I say you're a shrink,
he'll suspect you're my shrink.

No. I'm sorry, but it's not...

Well, it's not very...

How should I put it?

That's him!

Don't worry.
He'll only stay 5 minutes.

- Oh, hi.
- Hi, Hélène.

How are you?

- Want to come in for a minute?
- Sure.

Oh. I charged it.
There's a tape in there.

Oh, thanks. Thank you.
That's great.

Hi.

Hello.

- Philippe.
- Jean-François.

Jean-François is an old friend

who comes to Paris from time to time.

Great.

Would you like a drink?

I don't have much time, but OK.

- A Pernod?
- Sure. Thanks.

Thanks for the camera.

Now I can film Chloé.

She's riding a horse
for the 1st time tomorrow.

Cheers.

How did you two meet?

- I'm Chloé's tennis teacher.
- Yes.

- Hélène's daughter.
- Right.

Little Chloé.

I met Jean-François
a very long time ago.

He has... He had a vintage shop
near Tours.

He's a good friend,

an old friend.

You're own a vintage shop?
That's great.

Yes.

That's really interesting.

Yes. I'm an antique dealer too,
but I don't talk about it much.

It's not very interesting.

Why not?
That sounds like a great job.

Yes, but I don't like to
talk about it much.

Why not?

Well, if you really want to know,
recently,

an old lady was crushed by
an armoire in my shop.

It fell on her. Worm-infested feet.
The armoire, that is.

- So you see...
- I'm sorry.

But... did she die?

Her little dog survived.
I have to take care of him.

He shakes all the time.
He saw his granny get squashed.

Yes.

No, I'm joking!

The dog died too.

- What are you talking about?
- So I don't like to talk about it.

So, Philippe,
you're a sports teacher?

How did you get into that?

I love sports. I started
playing tennis when I was 7.

I've played every sport,
but mostly tennis.

I got my teaching certificate,
and now I'm a teacher.

I do karate and Thai boxing too.

Oh, yes... combat sports.

- Why? Do you like fighting?
- Yes, I do.

I've had a few fights.
It's exciting.

And I don't like people
pissing me off, so...

And... are you married?

No.

- Children?
- No. And you?

No.

Are you gay?

Why?

I don't know. Antique dealers
are usually gay.

Like hairdressers.

No. I have nothing against gays.
I like them. Are you gay?

Well, thank you, Philippe.

Jean-François has a train to catch.

- Right?
- Yes. 10:42pm, I think.

- Can I bring the camera on Monday?
- Yes.

I'll let myself out.

Oh. OK...

Bye.

Well. Do you want paella?

What? Is that what I want?

- That's what I cooked.
- OK.

Was I too aggressive?
I was just testing him.

OK.

Calm down.

Here you go.

Looks great. It smells delicious.

- Shall I serve you?
- Yes, thank you.

Paella always makes me think
of a patient.

A businessman, a banker.

He'd tell me his recurring dreams
but he didn't understand them.

He dreamed he was at the bank
or in bed with a woman,

and someone would always come in
with a huge plate of paella.

He'd wake up screaming.
The arrival of that paella

was a nightmare.

One day, we realized he was saying,
"Papa est là! Papa est là!"

"Papa est là."

Not "pas paella."

So?

So,

every time I see paella,
I think of him. It's funny.

Can you pass me the wine?

You have... a funny sense of humor.

- It can be a bit dry.
- Yes.

Sarcastic, even. That's OK.
One just has to be aware of it.

You're very different
outside your office.

You were strange, earlier,
with Philippe. Well, so was he.

If he likes combat sports,

he's a man who has
some violence in him.

- Really?
- Pent-up violence.

That could be.

I can't say anymore.

He's not right for you.

Why not?

I don't know.
It's just a feeling.

You're intelligent, you're cultured.

You're sensitive in how
you see things,

and you need harmony

and balance,

and you deserve to be happy.

I'd like you to be happy.

Thank you.

But it's up to you.
It's your life.

I don't have any advice to give you.

Why not?

We're friends, and you know me well.

I'm hot.

I have the chills.

Excuse me.

Maybe I drank too much.

What's going on?

Sorry.
I must have eaten too fast or...

drank too much, I don't know...

Are you all right?

Do you feel sick?

It's nothing. I'll be fine.

You're pale.

I'm pale?

It's nothing.

The calamari was frozen.
That must have been it.

Yes, that must have been it.
The calamari.

I'm sorry I have to leave you.
I don't feel so great.

I have medicine, if you want.
Pepto-Bismol or antacids.

Sorry to drop by unannounced,
but I had to talk to you.

No problem.

- Is this a bad time?
- No.

Carole is sleeping.
She has class tomorrow. Come in.

I just came from my date with Hélène.

At first, it started out
pretty good. I...

I was able to be funny,
without being too annoying.

I surprised her.
She was receptive and everything.

But actually...

She wanted my impression
of a guy she'd invited over.

My impression as a shrink.
You know?

A guy who's trying to
sleep with her.

Then we had dinner together,
but I was feeling bad. I was jealous,

I was furious...
- It was a test.

She did that to see your reaction.

She mustn't see you as a friend.

I only see one solution,
because you're headed for disaster:

sleep with someone else.

You don't know anyone
who'd do it with you?

Otherwise hit
on anything that moves.

Find one woman, just one,
and make it happen.

But not a prostitute.

That's not what I mean.

Oh, wow. You're really tense.

Those are my parents.

That's my brother.

You know, Julien...

You have to talk about
the accident...

What do you want to drink?

Orange juice? Ginseng juice?

No, nothing. Thanks.

- When's your next appointment?
- Wednesday.

Come here.

I'm happy we're friends.

Jean-François...

I want to ask you a question,
but I'm scared of your reaction.

Should I ask you?

No, don't ask.

Don't ask.

How's your love life?

How's your lady friend?

It's fine. Say, do you have
any nymphomaniac friends?

- What?
- Nymphomaniac friends.

Who'll sleep with anyone.
Know any?

Because I've never had one
as a patient,

and they're interesting cases.
I'm reading a book about them.

I was wondering if you knew any.

- Go see a prostitute.
- No, that's not what I mean.

Let me ask you point-blank:

would you make love to me?

You and me?

I won't tell Francis.
We could go to my place...

Listen, you're killing me.
Stop.

You're a psychotherapist.

You're a psychotherapist, after all.
Geez!

I don't know. Have some decency!

You help people,
who need you to fix them,

who look up to you.
Yes, they look up to you!

So do I.

They count on you,
when they're in distress.

And now you're falling to pieces!

Sorry. I didn't mean to shock you.

That's it. I'm going home,
because I've had enough.

You're completely
falling to pieces!

Hello. How are you?

Not cool. Not classy at all.

- Hello. How are you?
- Hello. I'm fine.

- It's a nice day, for a Sunday.
- It's Saturday.

Oh, that's right.
Would you like to have coffee?

Because... I would.

Good luck!

- It's a nice day, for a Sunday.
- Hang on.

- It's not Sunday, is it?
- No. It's Saturday.

Would you like to have a drink
before it rains?

No.

Miss! Miss! Hello.

Hello.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Miss! Wait!

- Hello?
- Estelle? It's Jean-François.

We met the other day.
I gave you some flowers.

- Who?
- We drank a Fuzzy Parrot.

- Oh, yes! Hello. I remember.
- Hello.

I wanted to see if you wanted
to go out sometime.

Yeah, maybe. When? Where?

Well, at the barge
where we met last time.

- Great.
- Tomorrow or another day.

OK. Tomorrow, 6pm, at the barge.

I love you.

Jean-François...

- Hello.
- Hello!

- These are for you.
- No!

You gave me some.
Now it's my turn.

Thank you.

Thank you. That was sweet.

How are you?

Tell me about yourself.

What can you tell me
about yourself?

Well, right now,
I'm writing one-line poems.

Haikus.

Oh, Haikus.

Thank you.

Do you have one in mind?
Do you remember one?

For example...

"The blue vapors of our sweat

"create waves of emotion
in the middle of the sky

"between the sad clouds
and the horizon full of hope."

Well, that's...
That's not bad.

Not bad.

It's OK if you think
it's stupid and boring.

- No.
- What matters is that you try.

Yes. Yes, yes.
What matters is that you try...

and live.
- Yes. Live.

Feel yourself live.

Live with. With is better.

Yes, with.

Can you show me your photos?
I want to see them.

They're at my place.

Shall we go?

Why not?

I think fish heads

are extraordinary.

They're beautiful and monstrous,
strange and normal.

They have a certain humanity,
I find.

I didn't make them that way.
It's nature.

I find that nature imitates art.
That interests me.

The beauty of nature
doesn't exist in itself.

What's beautiful or ugly is only
perceived as such by humans.

And since art changes
our view of the world,

it also changes our perception
of nature.

Yes, I see.

And it's your point of view.

Do you eat them?

No.

I have lots in the freezer.
I get attached to them.

That's funny. I didn't believe
your story about the fish.

I thought you were just saying it
to seem interesting.

I like it.

- Do you have anything to drink?
- Yes.

ME

What's this?

Nothing. Sometimes I take
pictures of myself alone, at home

or in the city.
- Do you feel alone?

- Why don't you tell me about you?
- What?

I don't know. What you like,
what you don't like...

What makes you happy or unhappy...

Want to take my picture?

Sure. OK.

You could hang me from the ceiling

and I could pretend to be
a swimming fish.

No, hang on. We could...

Let's do something else.
Look.

Come over here.

Sit on this chair. There you go.

Just look straight ahead,
that's all.

Like this?

OK...

Hang on.

Don't move.

One second.

Look at me.
Don't show any expression.

Try to be calm,

empty, relaxed, peaceful.

Put your face a little...

A tiny bit...

Hang on.

Like that.

Well played!

Sorry, it was...

a desire, a need.

Really?
A need, just like that. A desire.

Like that?

Excuse me.

Who is it?

Yes, hello.

It's Hélène. How are you?
Feeling better?

Hello. I'm sorry about
the other night.

I really wasn't feeling well.
I'm sorry.

It was my paella.
The chorizo was bad. I got sick too.

"The chorizo"...

I understand.

I'd like to see you again soon.
How about tonight?

- Yes. Why not?
- In an hour or two?

- Maybe.
- See you in an hour at my place.

OK?

- OK. That will work.
- See you later. I'll be waiting.

See you later.

Goodbye.

What's going on?

I'm sorry.
It's a client, one of my patients...

He's totally crazy. He's been
committed. He had a breakdown.

I have to go see him tonight,
at the hospital.

I'm sorry.

OK. Well...

Actually, I have to go now,
to see him, at the hospital.

Are you kidding me?
Was it your mom or your wife?

No...

You must take me for an idiot!

Not at all, Estelle.
I have an important appointment.

I have to go see this guy.

- Are you seeing someone else?
- Not at all.

- Is that true?
- Yes.

Did you score? Did you score?
Let me know! Julien!

Come in.

No, you shouldn't have!

To apologize for leaving early.
I was sick.

My paella went bad.
Can we forget about it?

Well...

Have a seat.

How are you?

Fine.

OK.

The other night,
I think I realized...

something that hadn't occurred to me.

When I started therapy 3 years ago,

a good friend told me
not to fall in love with my shrink.

You know,

transference?

I had countertransference,
but I thought about it.

I felt it happening to me
5 months ago.

I forced myself not to like you.

I told myself you were

a boring creep,
someone sad, cold and dull,

who had bad thoughts.
A borderline pervert.

An evil jerk.

Don't take it the wrong way.
It was a technique.

Yes, I understand.

And it worked.

Then when I saw you again,

I saw you as just a friend,
that's all.

Then, the other night...
I understood.

I shouldn't have
introduced you to Philippe.

I know what it's like

to love someone and not be
loved back.

Yes, I'm in love with you.

I love Philippe physically.

I like him physically,

but for your mind and
everything else, I like you.

You like me mentally?

Yes, I like you mentally.

And,

I think the only solution
to our problem,

so we can move forward,
so we don't make any mistakes,

so no one suffers needlessly...

is for us to make love.

Really?

Would you be game, right now?

Yes, I'm game.

Otherwise we won't know.

I already slept with Philippe,
but since I don't know

if I prefer him or you...

But I have to warn you,
I'm a bit tense,

so if you could take it slow...

I'll put on some music.

How's Wagner?

Perfect. It makes you want to
jump out the window, but...

Ah, Carmen!

I love the opera.

It relaxes me. It...

If you want to take a shower...
I already took one.

I'm sorry.
I'm not totally relaxed.

Take a shower. There's everything
you need, even a robe.

- You want me to wear a robe?
- Sure. Don't you?

You're very beautiful, you know.

You're very charming.
I love your face. I love...

the shape of your eyes.

Would it bother you if
I smoked a joint while you shower?

Your poetic words are
stressing me out.

It's the second door on the left.

Wow! Sexy!

Isn't it?

- Want some?
- No, thanks.

My shrink in a robe
in my living room!

No, no. I'm not your shrink.

Come here.

Oh, no.

Take my clothes off.

I love you. You're so beautiful.

Don't talk so much, please.

Yes.

Don't say "yes" like that.
It reminds me you're my shrink.

Hang on. Start up here.
It's better that way.

Uh, I'll take charge,
if you don't mind.

Oh, look! I'm riding a horse!

That must mean something.
I love riding horses.

Look, I'm dominating you.

I love being dominant.

Hélène...

- I really love you.
- You're muscular.

You're hairy and muscular.

What am I supposed to do?

I don't know. Touch me.
Make me fantasize.

If you could make me come during
foreplay, that would be great.

Hang on. I have to change the music.
I can't take any more opera.

Oh, no! I was just starting to relax.

Should we go to my bedroom?

No. Not that music, Philippe.

"Philippe?"

Oh, sorry!

J-F. Sorry.

- J-F.
- Jean-François.

Right, right. Sorry.

Sorry.

Jean-François.

I'm sorry. It's because
I smoked that joint.

I have to forget you're my shrink.

- I'm not your shrink!
- Yes, you're my shrink.

I'm a man. That's all.

Well, if you're a man, look out.

Toreador...

Thank you.

One thing... My husband is dropping
my daughter off at 11pm.

Hélène, I can't do this.

Maybe another time,
but right now, I can't.

Jean-François.

Are you leaving?
No! You can't do that to me.

Please. I'm ready.

Come on. Don't be a coward.
Be a man.

Hélène...

Hélène, it's almost 11pm.

Oh, OK. That was good.

Yes, but it's 10:45.
Your daughter...

What grade would you give me?
I don't know.

16? 17?

19 out of 20?

This is ridiculous.

You're in another world.
You're totally high.

Not at all.
I liked what we just did.

- You know, Jean-Philippe...
- It's "Jean-François."

Oh, sorry.

Sorry.

We have to try again so I can...

To compare.

Let me tell you something, Hélène.

You're a great girl.
You're beautiful.

You're wonderful. You're perfect.
You're the woman of my dreams.

That's sweet.

I think Philippe is right for you.
Pick Philippe.

I'm throwing in the towel.

- Hello?
- It's Julien.

What are you doing?
Did you score? Tell me!

- I'm going home.
- I'm there. I'm waiting for you.

Jean-François!

- Jean-François!
- What are you doing here?

I was worried. You didn't call back.
I wanted to know.

How'd it go?
Tell me. I want to know.

- What do you want?
- You showed up at my place.

I want to talk,
to find out if I helped you.

Did you score with the other one?

Did you score or not?

Did you make love?
It's not vulgar. It's natural.

I'm not trying to "score."
I don't want to "score."

Don't you have anything to do?
Where are all your girlfriends?

It's not that simple.
They live their lives.

Sometimes they leave.

I don't talk much to them.
I'd rather talk to a friend.

- Don't you have another friend?
- No.

- You don't have another friend?
- No.

No friends?

I don't have any more.
Because of their girlfriends.

With some of them, I tried to...
You know.

I'd never touch your girlfriend.

Especially since I helped you.
I'll be a witness at your wedding.

- Listen, Julien...
- What is it?

You're a great guy,
but you need help.

You have to talk

about the accident
and mourn your family.

What is it?

I'm sorry. I have to go.

Jean-François...

I had a great week!

I joined a bowling club
and met someone.

He's a bit of an alcoholic,
but he's really nice.

And on Sunday...

- It's an emergency!
- Hang on...

I have an appointment, miss.

Ms. Thomas, could I ask you
to step out for 5 minutes?

You're pushing it!

Thank you.

Sorry about this.

Yes, I... need to see a shrink.

Estelle, we can talk,
but you're not my patient.

I want to talk to a shrink.
How does psychoanalysis work?

In psychoanalysis,
you talk about your life.

You talk about everything,
what you want or need to talk about.

It's very complicated.
It can go on for years.

OK, fine.
I'll start now. So...

When I was little, I lived in
the Vosges with my 4 brothers.

I was bored to death.

My dad died when I was 6.
I live with my mother, who's 82.

She moved in with me
when she got sick.

She treats me like I'm 10 years old.

I feel very alone.

So I like reinventing myself
in other people's eyes.

I don't have many friends,

and I'm jealous of my friends
who are in relationships.

So I force myself to meet men.

Sometimes I even...

hit on my massage clients,
but nothing comes of it,

because they're either ugly,
or stupid, or faithful...

I'm really unsatisfied with my life.

I have a hard time...

imagining someone could
love me just the way I am.

So I lie all the time.
I say whatever I want. I exaggerate.

And last week, on the street,

I met a man with a bouquet of roses.

He was strange. He was holding
the bouquet very oddly.

He looked lost,
as if he'd just been dumped.

So I followed him
without him noticing,

and I sat down
next to him in a café.

And I pretended to read.

And then... he gave me his bouquet.

It made me really happy.

I started saying things,
making things up.

I exaggerated so we'd keep talking.

He was really bad at conversation,
awkward.

Very.

But he listened to me.
It was nice.

All of a sudden, I thought,

"You have to leave.
He'll think you're easy."

So I gave him my number and left.

I waited for him to call me.

And he called me 3 days later.

We saw each other again,
and I insisted we go to his place.

I said I wanted to see his photos.

When we got there, he asked me
lots of questions about myself.

I hate that.

His photos are really beautiful.
Very interesting.

So I suggested he take my picture.

And before I realized it,

he kissed me very sweetly.

It was really cute.

Since I was desperate that day,
I threw myself into his arms.

His phone rang.

He kept kissing me for a bit...

And then he pushed me away.

- It really hurt me.
- Estelle...

I had a hard time...

I had a hard time with
that sudden rejection.

I felt sorry for myself.

So I left.

I wanted to go home,
but I turned around

because I wanted to see
if he was lying to me.

I waited,

and he came back pretty late.

A guy came up and talked to him.
A nut, a wacko, I don't know.

I went closer to listen.
I heard "score,"

"didn't score"...

I didn't understand.
He saw me and I ran away.

I was ashamed
I'd waited for you.

Estelle, I'm sorry.

My mother said, "Why do you
always go for the freaks?

"You have a problem.
You should see a shrink."

I didn't sleep at all that night.

The next day, I told myself,
"Go see him before work."

Am I the one who's crazy,
or is he sick?

He's not Brad Pitt, after all!

So I wanted to go see him

to see the look on his face
when I told him.

So I came in without knocking
and sat down.

And I started telling my story.

And he sat there
without saying a word,

like an idiot.

And I talked and talked, and then
I didn't know what else to say.

Estelle...

I don't care.
What is psychoanalysis?

I don't give a shit about it.

What's the problem?
Am I weird?

Well, that's how it is.
That's how I am. That's me.

Look at you.

You're like your fish in the jar.

You're closed off, inaccessible.

Estelle, wait.

Subtitles: Eclair Media