Lady Gaga Presents: The Monster Ball Tour at Madison Square Garden (2011) - full transcript

Can I have a coffee, please...

...with milk and Splenda?

- Sure. What size?
- Large.

Here you go.

Can you believe
I'm playing the Garden?

Are we ready? Thanks, man.

Look at that.

Sold out.

Looks like Lady Gaga.

Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God. It is.
- Hey.



- Hello, Lady Gaga.
- I can't believe it's you.

- Hey, nice to meet you.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I love you.

Lady Gaga!

Do you know how many times
I came to this arena?

And now they're opening
these gates up for us.

Welcome, HBO, to the Monster Ball.

I don't know. I get, like, so...

I just get so revved up when I do
these benchmark shows, you know?

Yeah.

I just don't want my fans to ever feel...

I just sometimes feel like a loser still,
you know?

I know it's crazy because it's like,
we're at the Garden.

But I still sometimes feel
like a fucking loser kid in high school.



I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry.

I just want to be a queen for them,
you know...

...and sometimes I don't feel like one.

I'm gonna marry the night

I won't give up on my life

I'm a warrior queen

Live passionately tonight

Run, run
Her kiss is a vampire grin

Vampire grin
Vampire grin

The moon lights her way
While she's howlin' at him

Howlin' at him, howlin' at him

She looks good

But her boyfriend says
She's a tramp

She's a tramp
She's a vamp

But she still does her dance

She's a tramp
She's a vamp

But she still kills the dance

Baby loves to dance in the dark

'Cause when he's lookin'
She falls apart

Baby loves to dance in the dark

Dark, dark

Baby loves to dance in the dark

'Cause when he's lookin'
She falls apart

Baby loves to dance
The dance in the dark

In the dark

Girls, are y'all getting ready?

- Pepper?
- Yeah, Posh, I'm getting ready.

Hey, Bang-Bang,
are you getting ready?

Of course I'm getting ready.

Hey, Champagne,
you getting ready, girl?

I'm already ready.

Well, let's hit it, honey.

Marilyn, Judy, Sylvia

Tell 'em how you feel, girls

Work your blond Benet Ramsey
We'll haunt like Liberace

Find your freedom in the music

Find your Jesus
Find your Kubrick

You will never fall apart

Diana, you're still in our hearts

Never let you fall apart

Together we'll dance in the dark

Baby loves to dance in the dark

'Cause when he's lookin'
She falls apart

Baby loves to dance in the dark

Baby

Baby loves to dance in the dark

'Cause when he's lookin'
She falls apart

Baby loves to dance
The dance in the dark

In the dark

In the dark, in the dark

- Oh, no.
- Posh, are we breaking down?

Oh, just give me a second.

Where's Gaga, anyway?

- And where's my lipstick?
- Shut up.

Now we're never gonna
make it to the Monster Ball.

Yes, you will. I'll take you there.

Rub that glitter
And grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around
Grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around
Grease around

Punch it

In Brooklyn

Painted green watermelon

- That guy's ride
- His ride

Is good-lookin'

Good-lookin'

He tells me

That he loves me

And even though I'm real sexy

He loves his car, car, car

He's always with his car, car, car

So I

Rub that glitter and grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around
Grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around
Grease around

Knock it, pump it, wash it, bump it

Rub that glitter and grease
He loves it

He's so fine
He makes her shiny

There's more glitter and grease
Behind you

Rub that glitter and grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around
Grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around

Rub that glitter and grease around
Grease around

Gaga! Gaga! Gaga!

Red wine, Konvict, Ga ga

I've had a little too much, much

- All of the people start to rush
- Start to rush by

How does he twist the dance?

Can't find my drink, or man

Where are my keys?
I lost my phone

What's goin' on on the floor?

I love this record, baby
But I can't see straight anymore

Keep it cool
What's the name of this club?

I can't remember
But it's all right, all right

- Now jump
- Just dance

Gonna be okay
Da-da-doo-doo

Just dance

Spin that record, babe
Da-da-doo-doo

Just dance
Gonna be okay

Duh-duh-duh
Dance, dance, dance

Just, just

New York City!

Wish I could shut my playboy mouth

Oh, oh, oh-oh

- How'd I turn my shirt inside out?
- Inside out right

Control your poison, babe
Roses have thorns they say

And were all gettin' hosed tonight

Oh, oh, oh-oh

What's goin' on on the floor?

I love this record, baby
But I can't see straight anymore

Keep it cool
What's the name of this club?

I can't remember
But it's all right

- Now jump!
- Just dance

Gonna be okay
Da-da-doo-doo

Just dance

Spin that record, babe
Da-da-doo-doo

Just dance
Gonna be okay

Duh-duh-duh
Dance, dance, dance

Just, just dance

Did you guys come to party tonight?

I'm gonna kick your ass, New York!

Just dance

Gonna be okay
Da-da-doo-doo

Just dance

Spin that record, babe
Da-da-doo-doo

Just dance
Gonna be okay

Duh-duh-duh
Dance, dance, dance

Just, just dance

Come on.

Half psychotic, sick-hypnotic
Got my blueprint, it's symphonic

Half psychotic, sick-hypnotic
Got my blueprint electronic

Half psychotic, sick-hypnotic
Got my blueprint, it's symphonic

Half psychotic, sick-hypnotic
Got my blueprint electronic

Go

Use your muscle, carve it out
Work it, hustle

Oh, yeah

Don't slow, baby

Drive it, clean it, Lysol, bleed it

- Spend the last dough
- I got it

- In your pocko
- I got it

Just dance
Gonna be okay

Jesus is from New York City.

Let's show New York
how New Yorkers play guitar.

Put your paws up, jump.

- Just dance, gonna be okay
- Baby

Just dance
Spin that record, babe

Oh, baby, yeah

Gonna be okay

Spin that record, baby, yeah

Dance, dance

Just, just dance

Dirty, dirty rich
Dirty, dirty rich, beautiful

Beautiful and dirty, dirty
Rich, rich, dirty

We've got a red light
Pornographic dance fight

Systematic, honey
But we got no money

Our hair is perfect
While we're all getting shit wrecked

It's automatic, honey
But we got no money

Daddy, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, yeah
We just like to party

Put your hands up now.

Bang, bang

We're beautiful and dirty rich

Dirty, dirty, rich, beautiful

Bang, bang

We're beautiful and dirty rich

Dirty, dirty, rich, beautiful

We live a cute life
Sound fematic

Pants tight
Tug n' plastic, honey

But we've got no money

We do the dance right

We have got it made like
Ice cream topped with honey

But we've got no money

Daddy, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, yeah

Now get your guns out
and shoot that money...

...because you don't need it.

Bang, bang

Shoot it.

We're beautiful and dirty rich

Get your guns out, New York, shoot it.
Bang, bang.

Bang, bang

We're beautiful and dirty rich

Dirty, dirty, rich, beautiful

Bang, bang, bang

Bang, bang, bang

Beautiful

Dirty rich

Bang, bang, bang

Bang, bang, bang

Beautiful

You dirty bitch

Bang, bang

So, Gaga...

...what's the Monster Ball
really, really all about?

Well...

...Victor...

...the Monster Ball...

...will set you free, New York!

You mean "I can be...

...whoever or whatever...

...that I want to be" free?

Yeah, Victor, tonight...

...in the town that gave birth to me...

...we're gonna be...

...super free little monsters!

And the best thing
about the Monster Ball...

...is that I created it...

...so that my fans
would have a place to go.

A place where...

...all the freaks are outside...

...and I lock the fucking doors!

It doesn't matter who you are
or where you come from...

...or how much money
you've got in your pocket...

...because tonight
and every night after...

...you can be whoever it is
that you wanna be...

...New York City!

And to get to the Monster Ball...

...to find that inner sense...

...of fame...

...all you've got to do is follow...

Yes, super fans.

- The glitter way.

Do you love me?

Because I love you, New York.

So come on, little monsters.
Take my picture.

I wanna be a New York City star.

Come on, you better sing along.
You know the words.

You got the fame.

I can't help myself

I'm addicted to a life of material

It's some kind of joke

I'm obsessively opposed to the typical

All we care about is

Runway models, Cadillacs
And liquor bottles

Give me something, I wanna be
Retro glamour

Now put your hands up with me
like this:

Fame, doin' it for the fame

'Cause we wanna live the life
Of the rich and famous

That's right, New York, hands up.

Fame, doin' it for the fame

'Cause we got a taste for champagne
And endless fortune

Come on, Jesus.

Come a little closer.

Give me some of that challenge.

You're the most famous man
in the world.

Give it up for a real superstar,
Jesus Christ!

I can see myself in the movies

With my picture in the city lights

Photograph my mouth

And whatever else you'd like to shoot
You decide

All we care about is

Pornographic
Girls on film and body plastic

Give me something
I wanna see

Television and hot blonds
In odd positions

Come on, let's go.

Fame, doin' it for the fame

'Cause we wanna live

Put your hands up with me like this:

Fame, doin' it for the fame

'Cause we got a taste for champagne
And endless fortune

Fame, fame, baby

You don't need to have money
or plastic surgery...

...to be a New York City star.

In it for the fame, fame, baby

The fame, fame

- Don't ask me how or why
- Or why

But I'm gonna make it happen this time

- My teenage dream tonight
- Tonight

Yeah, gonna make it happen this time

Fame

Please watch your step.

Next stop: Glitter Way.

He can't read my poker face

Emergency.

There's something in the tracks.

I wanna kiss you

But if I do then I might miss you, babe

It's complicated and stupid

Got my ass squeezed by sexy Cupid

Guess he wants to play, wants to play

A love game, a love game

Hold me and love me

Just wanna touch you for a minute

Baby, three seconds isn't enough
For my heart to quit it

Let's have some fun, this beat is sick

I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

Don't think too much, just bust that kick

Now scream!

Let's play a love game
Play a love game

Do you want love or you want fame?

Are you in the game?

Doin' the love game

Let's play a love game
Play a love game

Do you want love or you want fame?

Are you in the game?

Doin' the love game

I'm on a mission

And it involves some heavy touching
Yeah

Oh, yeah

You've indicated your interest

I'm educated in sex, yes

Now I want it bad, want it bad

A love game, a love game

Hold me and love me

Just wanna touch you for a minute

Baby, three seconds isn't enough
For my heart to quit it

Put your hands up.

Let's have some fun, this beat is sick

Hands up.

We've only got
one more night together...

...Madison Square Garden,
so you better dance!

Let's play a love game
Play a love game

Do you want love or you want fame?

Are you in the game?

Doin' the love game

Let's play a love game
Play a love game

Do you want love or you want fame?

Are you in the game?

Doin' the love game

I can see you staring there
From across the block

With a smile on your mouth
And your hand on your...

The story of us
It always starts the same

With a boy and a girl and a...
And a game

Scream.

A game

Louder.

A game

A game, a love game

Come on, let's go.

Let's play a love game
Play a love game

Do you want love or you want fame?

Are you in the game?

Doin' the love game

Let's play a love game
Play a love game

Do you want love or you want fame?

Are you in the game?

Doin' the love game

Let's, let's, let's

Let's have some fun, this beat is sick

I wanna take a ride

Let's go.

Let's, let's, let's

Let's have some fun

Okay, New York.

I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

Are you all standing up?

I don't know if you've heard...

...but I have a pretty tremendous dick.

So come on...

Disco, disco, disco

...get your dicks out.

Because I know they've got some
pretty big cock here in New York City.

Welcome to the Monster Ball.

Now dance, you motherfuckers!

Put your paws up. Now jump.

My...

...name...

...is...

...Lady Gaga!

And welcome...

...to the last...

...of five shows...

...at Madison Square Garden.

I feel so blessed.

You have no idea.

I grew up 2O blocks from here...

...and I watched every name
go up on that marquee...

...year after year, month after month.

And I used to dream that one day
I'd see my name in lights.

So thank you so much.

Thank you for buying a ticket
to see my show.

And for those of you who didn't pay
for your tickets...

...I want my money back.

I'm just kidding.

You know, I didn't used to be brave.

In fact, I wasn't very brave at all.

But you have made me brave,
little monsters.

And New York made me brave.

So now...

...l'm gonna be brave for you.

Tonight I want you to forget
all of your insecurities.

I want you to reject anyone or anything...

...that's ever made you feel like
you don't belong or don't fit in.

Or made you feel like
you're not good enough...

...or pretty enough, or thin enough.

Or can't sing well enough,
or dance well enough...

...or write a song well enough.

Or like you'll never win a Grammy.

Or you'll never sell out
Madison Square Garden!

You just remember
that you're a goddamn superstar!

And you were born this way!

May tonight be your liberation
of all those things.

Because I used to pick up
my leather boots...

...on that street...

...and I would go down the stairs...

...to the 9 Train.

And I'd take the 9 Train downtown.

And then I'd get on the L Train
to go across town.

And I'd go to dance class.

And I would pray, and I would dream...

...that someday,
one person would believe in me.

So when you leave here tonight...

...know that at least one person
believes in you.

Hello, purple unicorn.

That is the most fabulous gay unicorn
that I have ever seen.

He has a rainbow horn. He's purple.

He has neon hooves.
That's very exciting.

The only thing better than a unicorn
is a gay unicorn.

Oh, you know what that means.

All the New York gays
Came out to play

And some came from New Jersey

But we don't care
'Cause it's all the same

And we were born this way

Yeah!

I don't know what I'm gonna do
with all of you.

You see, I told my friends
about the Monster Ball.

I told them that the Monster Ball
would set them free.

So we got into my car...

...but my car broke down in Brooklyn.

So then we got onto the subway...

...onto the F Train...

...which always gets me
where I need to go.

But the subway's left us off
in this very strange place.

And I just have no fucking clue
where we are.

You think I should ask
my friends for some help?

You know, my deepest
and most loyal friends?

You know...

...all my New York
and tristate-area gays?

This one's for the boys
and the girls tonight.

Celebrate your gay pride.

Hey there, sugar baby
Saw you twice at the pop show

You taste just like glitter
Mixed with rock 'n' roll

I like you a lot, lot
Think you're really hot, hot

I know you think you're special
When we dance real crazy

Glamaphonic, electronic, disco, baby

I like you a lot, lot
All we want is hot, hot

Now jump.

Boys, boys, boys
We like boys in cars

Boys, boys, boys
Buy us drinks in bars

Boys, boys, boys
With hairspray and denim

Boys, boys, boys
We love them, we love them

Now, I don't care if you're gay, straight,
bi, transgender, transsexual...

...put your hands up.

Baby is a bad boy
With some retro sneakers

Let's see Lady Starlight
And make out in the bleachers

I like you a lot, lot
Think you're really hot, hot

Let's go to the party
Heard our buddy's the DJ

Don't forget my lipstick
I left it in your ashtray

I like you a lot, lot
All we want is hot, hot

Now jump.

Boys, boys, boys
We like boys in cars

Boys, boys, boys
Buy us drinks in bars

Boys, boys, boys
With hairspray and denim

Boys, boys, boys
We love them, we love them

Boys, boys, boys
We like boys in cars

Boys, boys, boys
Buy us drinks in bars

Boys, boys, boys
With hairspray and denim

Boys, boys, boys
We love them, we love them

I'm not loose, I like to party
Let's get lost in your Ferrari

Not psychotic or dramatic
I like boys and that is that

Love it when you call me legs

In the morning buy me eggs

Watch your heart when we're together

Boys like you love me forever

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Boys, boys, boys

Boys, boys, boys

Boys, boys, boys

Boys, boys, boys
We love them, we love them

Boys, boys, boys
We like boys in cars

Boys, boys, boys
Buy us drinks in bars

Boys, boys, boys
With hairspray and denim

Boys, boys, boys
We love them, we love them

Does anybody know
what I really, really hate?

I hate money.

It's hot as hell in here, New York.

But nobody can ever make me
take off my leather.

I'm just a bad kid.

I don't want your money.

I want your soul, honey.

Damn, I love the Jag
The jet and the mansion

Sing it
Oh, yeah

And I enjoy the gifts
And trips to the islands

Oh, yeah

It's good to live expensive
You know it

But my knees get weak
Intensive

Hands up.

When you give me kisses
That's money, honey

When I'm your lover and your mistress
That's money, honey

When you touch me, it's so delicious
That's money, honey

Baby, when you tear me to pieces
That's money, honey

Kisses
That's M-O-N-E-Y

So sexy, I

How are you doing tonight?

This is so crazy for me,
just completely psycho.

I used to sit usually in the bleachers,
you know, in the back.

And I would sit with my mom, you know,
who would take me to see shows.

And I'd watch some other bitch
sing and dance on the stage all night...

...that I wanted to be.

And I would say,
"I wish I was that bitch on that stage."

So just so you know...

...someday you'll be up here
instead of me...

...and I'll be sitting in the back
cheering all you guys on.

Hello?

Beyonc??

She's always interrupting
the middle of my show.

Hello, hello, baby, you called?
I can't hear a thing

I have got no service
In the club, you see, you see

What did you say, huh?
You're breakin' up on me

Sorry, I cannot hear you
I'm kind of busy

Kind of busy, kind of busy

Sorry, I cannot hear you
I'm kind of busy

Just a second
It's my favorite song they're gonna play

And I cannot text you
With a drink in my hand, yeah

You should've made some plans with me
You knew that I was free

And now you won't stop calling me
I'm kind of busy

Come on.

Stop callin', stop callin'
I don't wanna think anymore

I left my head and my heart
On the dance floor

Stop callin', stop callin'
I don't wanna talk anymore

I left my head and my heart
On the dance floor

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Stop telephoning me

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

I'm busy

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Stop telephoning me

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Can call all you want
But there's no one home

And you're not gonna reach
My telephone

'Cause I'm in the club
And I'm sippin' that bub

And you're not gonna
Reach my telephone

Can call all you want
But there's no one home

And you're not gonna reach
My telephone

Out in the club
And I'm sippin' that bub

And you're not gonna reach
My telephone

Come on, sing Beyonc?'s part.

Won't make me leave no faster
Put my coat on faster

Leave my girls no faster

I should have left my phone at home
'Cause this is a disaster

Calling like a collector
Sorry, I cannot answer

Not that I don't like you
I'm just at a party

And I am sick and tired
Of my phone ringin'

I like your jacket.

- In Grand Central Station

Put your cell phones away.
And put your hands up.

Because this is only gonna happen once.

Free your mind and your spirit.

We were born this way.

Stop callin', stop callin'
I don't wanna think anymore

I left my head and my heart
On the dance floor

Stop callin', stop callin'
I don't wanna talk anymore

I left my head and my heart
On the dance floor

Stop callin', stop callin'
I don't wanna think anymore

I left my head and my heart
On the dance floor

Stop callin', stop callin'
I don't wanna talk anymore

I left my head and my heart
On the dance floor

- Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
- Stop telephoning me

Stop telephoning me

- Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
- I'm kind of busy

I'm busy

All right, put your hands up.

Stop telephoning me

Now, let's break the floors, New York.

Can call all you want
But there's no one home

You're not gonna reach
My telephone

'Cause I'm out in the club
And I'm sippin' that bub

You're not gonna reach
My telephone

Call all you want
But there's no one home

You're not gonna reach
My telephone

'Cause I'm out in the club
And I'm sippin' that bub

And you're not gonna reach
My telephone

My telephone, my telephone

'Cause I'm out in the club
And I'm sippin' that bub

And you're not gonna reach
My telephone

My telephone, my telephone

'Cause I'm out in the club
And I'm sippin' that bub

And you're not gonna reach
My telephone

I just want to say thank you
to all of you for being here tonight...

...because HBO is filming
for our HBO special.

And it's just this really amazing night
for all of us.

And I'm so happy.
I can't even begin to tell you...

...how grateful I am
that you're all here.

And it's really funny...

...because my favorite thing
about the Monster Ball...

...is that everybody gets really drunk...

...and vomits on each other
and has a good time.

So you don't know this...

...but in between the sets
when the videos are playing...

...I can actually see you
from backstage.

And I see everybody running
to go get drinks really quickly.

I'm always laughing because I think,
"These drunk assholes.

That's all they wanna do,
is drink and have a good time."

So in light of watching all of you
have a good time...

...I would like to dedicate this song
to all the drunk assholes in my life.

This is called "Speechless."

Oh, I

I can't believe what you said to me

Last night we were alone

You threw your hands up

Baby, you gave up, you gave up

I can't believe how you looked at me

With your James Dean glossy eyes

Oh, in your tight jeans with your long hair

And your cigarette-stained lies

Could we fix you if you broke?

Was your punch line just a joke?

I'll never talk again

Oh, boy, you've left me speechless

You've left me speechless
So speechless

And I'll never love again

Oh, friends, you've left me speechless

You've left me speechless
So speechless

And my make...

Every night, this fucking makeup falls off
right at that same lyric.

Shit.

And on another note...

...not to blow up too many people's spots
tonight, but Liza Minnelli is here.

I thought you all might want to stand up
for her...

...because, you know, it is Liza.

And Marisa Tomei is here tonight.

And I usually would never tell you guys
who's here tonight...

...but the reason I'm telling you...

...is because these two women
influenced me so much...

...when I was in theater school.

Because I went to Tisch,
you know, at NYU.

And what used to happen was
the teachers would go:

"Well, your voice is too pop.

And when you sing pop music,
your voice is too theater.

And, you know...

...you're never gonna play the heroine.

And you're never gonna play
the blond, you know.

You're never gonna play the ing?nue.

You'll never be the main character.

You're never gonna be the star.

Because you have dark hair
and you're too ethnic."

So I used to say:

"Well, what about Liza?"

And then I'd get to acting class...

...and they'd always pull out
a script for me...

...that Marisa had played in a movie...

And they'd say,
"You'll play these kinds of...

These kinds of really
ballsy women roles."

And you know what?
There's never a role other than that...

...that I'm ever gonna wanna play.

So thank you, Marisa,
for always playing that role for us.

After all the drinks

And the bars that we've been to

Would you give it all up?

Could I give it all up for you?

After all the boys and the girls
That we've been through

Would you give it all up?

I've never given up

If I promise, boy, to you

Well, I'll never talk again, no

Oh, I'll never love again

Oh, I'll never write a song

Won't even sing along

Why you so speechless?

Speechless

Speechless

So thank you for giving me...

...two bad bitches to look up to.

So speechless, baby

All right, you wanna hear a new one?

This is from my new album,
Born This Way.

This is called "Yo? and I."

It's been a long time
Since I came around

Been a long time
But I'm back in town

And this time
I'm not leaving without you

You taste like whiskey
When you kiss me, oh

I'd give anything again
To be your baby doll

This time
I'm not leaving without you

He says sit back down
Where you belong

In the corner of my bar
With your high heels on

Sit back down on the couch
Where we made love the first time

And you said to me

Something, something about
This place

Something about lonely nights
And my lipstick on your face

Something, something about
My cool Nebraska guy

Yeah, something about, baby, you and I

It's been two years
Since I let you go

Couldn't listen to a joke
Or rock 'n' roll

Muscle cars drove a truck
Right through my heart

On my birthday you sang me
"A Heart of Gold"

With the guitar humming
In overload

This time I'm not leaving
Without you

Oh, oh

Sit back down
Where you belong

In the corner of a bar
With your high heels on

Sit back down on the couch
Where we made love the first time

And you said to me

There's something
Something about this place

Something about lonely nights
And my lipstick on your face

Something, something about
My cool Nebraska guy

Yeah, something about
New York, you and I

Put your hands up.

You and I

You, you and I

You, you and I

You, you and I

You and I

You, you and I

New York City!

I'd rather die

Without you and I

Come on!

I'm gonna still play this piano
with my long-ass New York nails.

There's something

Something about

This place

Something about

New York nights

And the lipstick
On little monsters' faces

Something

Something about

My cool New York guy

Yeah, something about

Manhattan

Brooklyn

Queens

The Bronx

Staten Island

The Palisades, Long Island

You and I

You, you and I

New York City, I'd rather die

Without you and I

You and I

You, you and I

I miss your hot dogs

I miss the subway
I miss the people

I miss everything about you, goddamn it

You and I

You, you and I

You, you and I

You, you and I

Put your hands up.

You and I

New York, New York
New York, New York

New York

I'd rather die

Without you and I

It's been a long time
Since I came around

Been a long time
But I'm back in town

And this time

I'm not leaving

Without

You

Oh!

And so as my friends and I traveled...

...further and further
down the Glitter Way...

...we ran into a magical angel
with a beautiful black harp.

And she said that she knew
just the music to play...

...to get us closer and closer
to the Monster Ball...

...at Madison Square Garden.

Oh, what's that thing?

What's that thing?

Way up in the sky?

It's very beautiful
but very strange.

Is that a rainbow?

No, it can't be.

Little monsters, it's a twister.

Monsters...

...you make me so happy I could die.

Eh-eh, eh-eh
Ye-ha, ye-ha

Eh-eh, eh-eh
Aha, aha

Eh-eh, eh-eh
Ye-ha, ye-ha

Eh-eh, eh-eh
Aha, aha

I love that lavender blond

The way she moves
The way she walks

I touch myself, can't get enough

And in the silence of the night

Through all the tears
And all the lies

I touch myself and it's all right

Just give in

Don't give up, baby

Open up your heart
And your mind to me

- Just
- Just

- Know when
- Know when

That glass is empty

That the world is gonna bend, yeah

Happy in the club
With a bottle of red wine

Stars in our eyes
'Cause we're having a good time

Eh-eh, eh-eh

So happy I could die

Be your best friend
Yeah, I'll love you forever

Up in the clouds
We'll be higher than ever

Eh-eh, eh-eh

So happy I could die
And it's all right

So happy I could die
And it's all right

I like your "Born This Way" jackets.

Those are very nice.

I can see you all from up here
at the same time.

Put your hands up.

Let's all enjoy this moment together.
Bounce with me.

Happy in the club
With a bottle of red wine

Stars in our eyes
'Cause we're having a good time

Eh-eh, eh-eh

So happy I could die

Be your best friend
Yeah, I'll love you forever

Up in the clouds
We'll be higher than ever

Eh-eh, eh-eh

So happy I could die
And it's all right

So happy I could die
And it's all right

So happy I could die
And it's all right

Happy in the club
With a bottle of red wine

Stars in our eyes
'Cause we're having a good time

Eh-eh, eh-eh

So happy I could die

Be your best friend
Yeah, I'll love you forever

Up in the clouds
We'll be higher than ever

Eh-eh, eh-eh

So happy I could die
And it's all right

Oh, no...

...the twister.

It's left my friends and I off
in a very strange place.

A deep, dark and evil place.

In the deepest, darkest part...

...of Central Park.

Put your paws up.

Yeah

Dancing, yeah

Yeah

Dancing

Put your paws up.

Yeah

Dancing

Put your paws up.

Don't call me GaGa

Don't call me GaGa

Don't call me GaGa

I've never seen one like that before

Don't look at me like that

You amaze me

He ate my heart
He ate my heart

You little monster

He ate my heart
He ate my heart out

You amaze me

He ate my heart
He ate my heart

He ate my heart
He ate my heart out

Look at him, look at me

That boy is bad, and honestly

He's a wolf in disguise

But I can't stop staring in those evil eyes

Evil eyes, evil

I asked my girlfriend
If she'd seen you around before

She mumbled something
While we got down on the floor

We might've fucked
Not really sure

Don't quite recall

But something tells me
That I've seen him before

Put your hands up.

That boy is a monster
Monster

That boy is a monster
Monster

That boy is a monster
Monster

That boy is a monster

- He ate my heart
- I love that girl

He ate my heart

Wanna talk to her
She's hot as hell

- He ate my heart
- I love that girl

He ate my heart

Wanna talk to her
She's hot as hell

He licked his lips
Said to me

"Girl, you look
Good enough to eat"

Put his arms around me

Said, "Boy, now get your paws
Right off of me"

I asked my girlfriend
If she'd seen you around before

She mumbled something
While we got down on the floor

We might've fucked
Not really sure

Don't quite recall

But something tells me
That I've seen him here before

Put your paws up.

That boy is a monster
Monster

That boy is a monster
Monster

That boy is a monster
Monster

That boy is a monster

- He ate my heart
- I love that girl

He ate my heart

Wanna talk to her
She's hot as hell

- He ate my heart
- I love that girl

He ate my heart

Wanna talk to her
She's hot as hell

He ate my heart
He ate my heart

Instead he's the monster in my bed

He ate my heart
He ate my heart

Instead he's the monster in my bed

I wanna just dance
But he took me home instead

There was a monster in my bed

We French kissed
On a subway train

He tore my clothes right off

He ate my heart
And then he ate my brain

I love that girl

Wanna talk to her
She's hot as hell

He ate my heart
He ate my heart

He ate my heart

Wanna talk to her
She's hot as hell

That boy, that boy

That boy, that boy, that boy

That boy is a monster
Monster

Could I love him?

Could I love him?

Could I love him?

Put your paws up, New York.

Could I love him?

Could I love him?

Could I love him?

Do you think I'm sexy?

Because I think you're sexy.

I used to get bullied a lot
in high school...

...by these really awful, mean girls...

...who weighed about 3O pounds
less than I did.

And it used to make me feel
really bad about myself.

But I'm here to tell you...

...that someday you'll have...

...a stage upon which
to stand and sing and dance...

...in front of all those
who bullied you before.

Do you feel sexy?

You know, I'm kind of like Tinker Bell.

You know how Tinker Bell will die
if you don't clap for her?

Do you want me to die?

Scream for me!

Some people would like me to die.

But I'm not going anywhere.

Does anyone know what I hate
almost as much as I hate money?

- Truth!
- The truth!

Yes, I hate the truth.

The French call it "la v?rit?."

In fact, I hate the truth so much...

...l'd prefer a giant dose of bullshit
any day over the truth.

So, mes petits monstres...

Show me your teeth

Don't be scared

I've done this before

Show me your teeth

Let me see your teeth

Show me your teeth

Show me your teeth

- Don't want no money
- Want your money

That shit is ugly

- Just want your sex
- Want your sex

Get on your feet!

- Take a bite of my bad girl meat
- Bad girl meat

- Stand up
- Take a bite of me

- Show me your teeth
- Let me see your mean

- Got no direction
- No direction

I need direction

Just got my vamp
Got my vamp

- Take a bite of my bad girl meat
- Bad girl meat

Take a bite of me, boy

- Show me your teeth
- The truth is sexy

Show me your teeth

Tell me something that'll save me

- I need a man who makes me all right
- A man who makes me all right

Tell me something that'll change me

I'm gonna love you
With my hands tied

- Show me your teeth
- Just tell me when

- Show me your teeth
- Open your mouth, boy

- Show me your teeth
- Show me what you got

Show me your teeth

- Got no salvation
- No salvation

Got no salvation

I got no religion

Thank you.

My religion is you

- Take a bite of my bad girl meat
- Bad girl meat

Oh! Show me your teeth

Show me your teeth

- Got my addictions
- My addictions

- And I love to fix 'em
- And I love to fix 'em

No one's perfect

Take a bite of my bad girl...

Get up, dance.

- Show me your teeth
- Show me your teeth

Tell me something that'll save me

- I need a man who makes me all right
- A man who makes me all right

Tell me something that'll change me

I'm gonna love you
With my hands tied

- Show me your teeth
- Just tell me when

- Show me your teeth
- Open your mouth, boy

Show me your teeth
Show me what you got

Show me your teeth, teeth
Teeth, teeth

Show me your teeth

Come on, New York.

My religion is you

- Get on your feet!
- My religion is you

Let's go.

Hello, lady bunny.

I see you from all the way over here.

You better work that weave, girl,
just like I am.

I paid for it.

Help, need a man
Now show me your fangs

Come on, Montana.

Now show me your fangs

Some people would say
that Montana is not a religious woman.

But we think my finding a man
is a damn religion.

Save me

- I need a man who makes me all right
- A man who makes me all right

Tell me something that'll change me

I'm gonna love you
With my hands

- Show me your teeth
- Just tell me when

- Show me your teeth
- Open your mouth, boy

Show me your teeth
Show me what you got

Show me your teeth, teeth
Teeth, teeth

Show me your teeth

Some people say
that I'm not a religious woman.

So come on, New York,
let's go to church.

Show me your teeth

Show me your teeth

- Show me your teeth
- Show me your teeth

Show me your teeth

Show me your teeth

Show me your teeth, teeth
Teeth, teeth

- Show me your teeth
- Show me your teeth

Show me your teeth

Show me your teeth

Show me your teeth

Teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth

Spanky...

...all the way from
the Church of Philadelphia...

Show me your teeth

Show me your teeth

Just in case
any of you were wondering...

...if I ever lip-synch during my shows...

...the answer is no.

I never lip-synch.

I never have lip-synched.
And I never will.

And as long as you're paying money
to buy a ticket to see my show...

...l'm not gonna waste
your goddamn time...

...watching some bitch lip-synch her way
through an HBO special.

Show me your teeth
Teeth

Teeth

Especially not while Liza's watching.

Show me your teeth
Teeth, teeth

Teeth

Jesus

Jesus, are you listenin'?

Jesus over there in heaven

Jesus, I'm confused.

Jesus, some people say that you only
love a certain kind of person...

...with certain kind of beliefs
or background or sexual orientation.

But, Jesus, you have blessed me.

And every night,
myself and the entire House of Gaga...

...bleed to death
in front of 24,OOO people...

...talking about love and unity.

So I'm quite certain
that Jesus must love everybody!

Jesus loves...

...everybody.

Show me your teeth

Show me your teeth

Show me your teeth
Teeth, teeth

Teeth

You are such an asshole.

You know that?

You are such an asshole
on that instrument.

You are so goddamn disrespectful
on that guitar.

Who taught you to play
guitar like that, Jesus?

Show me your teeth
Teeth, teeth

Teeth

Everybody, this is Michael.

Michael's from Germany.

You're so cute.

That's so nice.

I like Michael...

...because Michael likes
girls from New York.

I also like Michael...

...because Michael likes
boys from New York.

Just like Jesus,
Michael loves everybody.

So come on, Kern.

Kern's a bad bass player.

And I told them last night
when they came to see my show...

...I said when l...

When I auditioned my band,
I closed my eyes.

I didn't look at them when they came in.
I closed my eyes.

I said, "I don't want to know
what they look like.

I wanna hear how they feel."

And when I heard this man
play the bass...

...I knew it was his destiny.

Show me your teeth

Show me your teeth

Michael.

I don't care who you are

Or what you believe

All I care about is
How you feel about me

Show me your teeth

I love you too.

Show me your teeth
Teeth, teeth

Teeth

There it is.

The eternal fountain.

The only fountain in the world
that bleeds for you.

Because my religion is you,
little monsters.

And tonight...

...like every night...

...my religion is New York.

Alejandro

Alejandro

I know that we are young
And I know that you may love me

But I just can't be with you
Like this anymore, Alejandro

I can't live without you

I can't breathe without you

Without you I have nothing

Yeah, right.

Sing for me.
Let me hear how strong you are.

- She's got both hands
- Both hands

- In her pocket
- In her pocket

- And she won't look at you
- Won't look at you

- She hides true love
- True love

She's got a halo around her finger
Around you

You know that I love you, boy

Hot like Mexico
Rejoice

At this point I've gotta choose

Nothing to lose

Don't call my name
Don't call my name, Alejandro

I'm not your babe
I'm not your babe, Fernando

Don't wanna kiss
Don't wanna touch

Just smoke my cigarette and hush

Don't call my name
Don't call my name, Roberto

Hands up.

Alejandro, Alejandro

Ale-Alejandro
Ale-Alejandro

Alejandro, Alejandro

Ale-Alejandro
Ale-Alejandro

Stop, please
Just let me go

Alejandro
Just let me go

She's not broken
She's just a baby

But her boyfriend's like her dad
Just like her dad

And all those flames that
Burned before him

Now he's gotta firefight
Gotta cool the bad

You know that I love you, boy

Hot like Mexico
Rejoice

At this point I've gotta choose

Put your hands up.

Don't call my name
Don't call my name, Alejandro

I'm not your babe
I'm not your babe, Fernando

Don't wanna kiss
Don't wanna touch

Just smoke my cigarette and hush

Don't call my name
Don't call my name, Roberto

Alejandro, Alejandro

Ale-Alejandro
Ale-Alejandro

Alejandro, Alejandro

Ale-Alejandro
Ale-Alejandro

Don't bother me
Don't bother me

Don't call my name
Don't call my name

I'm not your babe
I'm not your babe

Don't wanna kiss
Don't wanna touch

Fernando

Don't call my name
Don't call my name, Alejandro

I'm not your babe
I'm not your babe, Fernando

Don't wanna kiss
Don't wanna touch

Just smoke my cigarette and hush

Don't call my name
Don't call my name

Now put your hands up for equality.

Alejandro, Alejandro

Because we all love
and we all fight the same.

Ale-Alejandro
Ale-Alejandro

Alejandro, Alejandro

Ale-Alejandro
Ale-Alejandro

Don't call my name
Don't call my name, Alejandro

I'm not your babe
I'm not your babe, Fernando

Don't wanna kiss
Don't wanna touch

Just smoke my cigarette and hush

Don't call my name
Don't call my name, Roberto

Alejandro

Do you hear that?

This is the record that changed my life.

Just like you.

Now dance.

I wanna hold 'em
Like they do in Texas plays

Fold 'em, let 'em hit me
Raise it, baby, stay with me

I love it

Love Game intuition
Play the cards with spades to start

And after he's been hooked
I'll play the one that's on his heart

I'll get him hot
Show him what I've got

I'll get him hot
Show him what l...

Now jump.

Can't read my
Can't read my

No, he can't read my poker face

She's got me like nobody

Can't read my
Can't read my

No, he can't read my poker face

- She's got me like nobody
- Now scream.

Poker face, poker face

Poker face, poker face

I wanna roll with him
A hard pair we will be

A little gambling is fun
When you're with me

I love it

Russian roulette
Is not the same without a gun

And, baby, when it's love
If it's not rough, it isn't fun, fun

I'll get him hot
Show him what I've got

I'll get him hot
Show him what l...

Come on.

Can't read my
Can't read my

No, he can't read my poker face

She's got me like nobody

Can't read my
Can't read my

No, he can't read my poker face

- She's got me like nobody
- Now scream!

Poker face, poker face

Poker face, poker face

I won't tell you that I love you
Kiss or hug you

'Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin

I'm not lying, I'm just stunnin'
With my love glue gunnin'

Just like a chick in the casino

Take your bank
Before I pay you out

I promise this
Promise this

Check this hand
'Cause I'm marvelous

Can't read my
Can't read my

No, he can't read my poker face

- She's got me like nobody
- Jump!

Can't read my
Can't read my

No, he can't read my poker face

She's got me like nobody

Can't read my
Can't read my

No, he can't read my poker face

She's got me like nobody

Can't read my
Can't read my

No, he can't read my poker face

She's got me like nobody

Yeah!

Come on, make me sweat.

You guys...

...I think that the Monster Ball
is just up ahead...

...maybe on the right?

Are you sure, Gaga?
It doesn't look too good.

- Lan.
- Yeah?

I can't see you. Champagne?

I'm here, Gaga, but I don't think
we should go anymore.

It's so dark out here.

Oh, come on, you guys.
We can't give up now.

The Monster Ball
is the greatest party on the planet.

And tonight
it's at Madison Square Garden.

I'm scared.

I think it's just up ahead.

It's just so dark I can't see.

You know, I think I'm just gonna go.

- What?
- Lan, come on.

Oh, come on, lan,
you wouldn't leave me, would you?

Gaga, you know I love you,
but you're going too far.

- You're going too far, Gaga.
- What?

You can't leave me here by myself.
It's dark. I can't see.

Even if the whole world
turns their back on you...

...you always have yourself.

No!

It's the monster.

It's the fame monster.

We are the crowd

We're comin' out

Got my flash on, it's true
Need that picture of you

It so magical

We'd be so fantastical

Leather and jeans

Garage glamorous

Not sure what it means

But this photo of us

It don't have a price

Ready for those flashing lights

I recognize all of you.
Sing it.

I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me

Papa-paparazzi

Baby, there's no other superstar

You know that I'll be
Your papa-paparazzi

Promise I'll be kind

But I won't stop until that boy is mine

Baby, you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me

Papa-paparazzi

Thank you so much for being so brave.

You look so amazing.

Now help me kill him.
Get your cameras out.

Take that monster's picture.

I'll be your girl
Backstage at your show

Velvet ropes and guitars
Yeah, 'cause you're my rock star

In between the sets
Eyeliner and cigarettes

Oh, no, he's taking off my clothes.

Shadow is burnt
Yellow dance and we turn

My lashes are dry
Purple teardrops I cry

It don't have a price
Loving you is my cherry pie

'Cause you know that, baby, I

I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me

Papa-paparazzi

Baby, there's no other superstar

You know that I'll be
Your papa-paparazzi

Promise I'll be kind

But I won't stop until that boy is mine

Just eat me already.

Baby, you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me

Papa-paparazzi

Real good
We dance in the studio

Snap, snap
To that shit on the radio

Don't stop for anyone

We're plastic but we still have fun

I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me

Papa-paparazzi

Baby, there's no other superstar

You know that I'll be
Your papa-paparazzi

Promise I'll be kind

Monsters, if we stick together,
we can do anything.

Baby, you'll be famous

And when they ask you:

"How was Gaga at the Monster Ball...

...at Madison Square Garden?"

You tell them:

"She burned the place...

We burned that place
to the fucking ground!"

We did it.

We killed him.

Now let's get out of here.

Let's go to the Monster Ball.

Good night.

Good night, monsters.

Friends, be yourself.

Love who you are.

Be proud.

And never give up on your dreams.

Because you were
born this way, baby.

Caught in a bad romance

Caught in a bad romance

We did it.

Caught in a bad romance

We did it, monsters.

We made it to the Monster Ball.

We made it to Madison Square Garden
in New York City.

Did you have the time of your life?

Do you feel free, monster?

Want your bad romance

Dance!

Want your bad romance

I want your ugly
I want your disease

I want your everything
As long as it's free

I want your love

Love, love, love

I want your love

I want your drama
The touch of your hand

I want your leather-studded kiss
In the sand

I want your love

Love, love, love

I want your love

You know that I want you

And you know that I need you

- I want it bad, your bad romance
- Sing it!

I want your love
And I want your revenge

You and me could write
A bad romance

I want your love
And all your lover's revenge

You and me could write
A bad romance

Sing it.

Caught in a bad romance

Caught in a bad romance

Want your bad romance

I want your horror
I want your design

'Cause you're a criminal
As long as you're mine

I want your love

Love, love, love

I want your love

I want your psycho
Your vertical stick, hey

Want you in my rear window
Baby, you're sick

I want your love

Love, love, love

- I want your love
- Love, love, love

- I want your love
- Put your paws up

You know that I want you

'Cause I'm a free bitch, baby

I want your bad

- Your bad romance
- Jump!

I want your love
And I want your revenge

You and me could write
A bad romance

I want your love
And all your lover's revenge

You and me could write
A bad romance

Sing it!

Caught in a bad romance

Caught in a bad romance

Want your bad romance

Okay, you better not leave
when this song is over.

Because there might be just one more
surprise. Paws up!

Walk, walk, fashion baby

Work it, move that bitch, crazy

Walk, walk, fashion baby

Work it, move that bitch, crazy

Walk, walk, fashion baby

Work it, move that bitch, crazy

Walk, walk, fashion baby

Work it, I'm a free bitch, baby

I want your love
And I want your revenge

I want your love
I don't wanna be friends

I don't wanna be friends

I don't wanna be friends

Caught in a bad romance

I don't wanna be friends

Want your bad romance

Now jump.

Want your bad romance

I want your love
And I want your revenge

You and me could write
A bad romance

I want your love
And all your lover's revenge

You and me could write
A bad romance

Jump, New York. I love you.

Want your bad romance

Caught in a bad romance

Want your bad romance

Want your bad romance

Caught in a bad romance

Want your bad romance

If you scream really loud...

...I might just do one more.

I could just do one more.

Want your bad romance

It doesn't matter if you love him

Or capital H-l-M

Just put your paws up

'Cause you were born this way, baby

My mama told me when I was young

We are all born superstars

She rolled my hair
And put my lipstick on

In the glass of her boudoir

There's nothing wrong
With loving who you are

She said
'Cause he made you perfect, babe

So hold your head up, girl
And you'll go far

Listen to me when I say

Come on.

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

There ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way

- Baby, I was born this way
- Born this way

There ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen

Don't be a drag, just be a queen

Don't be

Give yourself prudence
And love your friends

So we can rejoice your truth

In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth

A different lover is not a sin

Believe capital H-l-M

Hey, hey, hey

I love my life
I love this record and

Mi amore vole fe yah

Come on, jump!

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

There ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way

- Baby, I was born this way
- Born this way

There ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't be

Don't be a drag, just be a queen

Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent

You're Lebanese, you're Orient

Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased

Rejoice and love yourself today

'Cause, baby, you were born this way

No matter

Gay, straight or bi
Lesbian, transgendered life

I'm on the right track, baby

I was born to survive

Survive

Come on.

There ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way

Baby, I was born this way

Jump with me.

There ain't no other way

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

- I was born this way
- Hey, I was born this way, hey

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

I was born this way, hey
I was born this way, hey

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, hey

Same DNA

I'm born this way

Same DNA

I'm born this way

Wow, that's how you leave
the fucking Garden.

That's how you leave the Garden.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

- That's how you leave the Garden.
- Look at my dad.

But you'll be right back though.

Some little girl gave it to me.

Oh, thanks, Dad.

Now it's time to do
what real rock stars do:

Go to sleep.

My mama told me
When I was young

We are all born superstars

She rolled my hair
And put my lipstick on

In the glass of her boudoir

There's nothing wrong
With loving who you are

She said
'Cause he made you perfect, babe

So hold your head up, girl
And you'll go far

Listen to me when I say

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

There ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way

- Baby, I was born this way
- Born this way

There ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Give yourself prudence
And love your friends

So we can rejoice your truth

In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth

A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-l-M

Hey, hey, hey

I love my life
I love this record and

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

There ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way

Baby, I was born this way

Born this way

There ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

No matter gay, straight or bi
Lesbian, transgendered life

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to survive

No matter black, white or beige
Chola or Orient-made

I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to be brave