La moglie americana (1960) - full transcript
AN AMERICAN WIFE
AKA RUN FOR YOUR WIFE
Hello?
Concierge, excuse me.
Commendatore Mazzetti, please,
not disturb him 'til Monday. No.
The fat gentleman?
That correcta.
My boss donta speak in English.
Thank you very much. Goodbye.
Hey, there!
How are you, my old pal?
- Fine, thanks. And you?
You look great.
- Welcome to New York! - Thanks a lot.
You know my father-in-law?
- A pleasure. - Very glad to meet you.
Riccardone, come with us! Go on!
- OK, but where are we going?
It's noon, we're naturally going to eat.
Permit me to be your host.
- No, we're going to my house.
Come on, Poppy.
Yes, I'm here with my boss on a deal
in shoes. For a few days, naturally.
But between us, it's not worth it.
I'm going to rely a lot on you.
Will you show me New York?
- We'll see. - You can't?
Unfortunately, here in New York,
everyone has their own car. And you?
I'm making good progress: I've went
from a Lambretta to a Cinquecento.
Going uphill is like a mule though.
- Here it is.
Is this yours? - Yeah, my mini.
- Not bad, eh?
Is it the company car?
- No, it's mine. Get in.
Congratulations.
- Holy cow, what a jerk I am!
I just remembered the 50,000 lire you lent
me seven years ago. - Forget about it!
I never forgot it, you know.
Thank you. - So long, Carlo.
Is the car used?
- No, it's brand new.
Really? How did you manage it?
- I worked hard, my friend. - Really?
In America, nothing is free.
Do you live in a flat outside the city?
- No, I live in a townhouse. It's charming.
You rent, of course?
- No, I'm the owner.
Nothing special: a nice garden, a pool.
Because after work, I like to relax.
It's really nice here. I imagine this
is a residential area for billionaires?
No, for people like us.
Lawyers live here, plumbers…
a little bit of everybody.
Stop it. Look, I really am right.
- Why?
Because, because this another world,
another planet.
Can't you see?
A whole different economic level.
Well, America's not Magenta.
- I could kick myself.
No, because I should've done
what you did ten years ago.
If you did it, why couldn't I do it too?
But I'll tell you something: If I manage
to place myself here, I'll never leave.
Besides, what have I done in Magenta?
In 30 years, I haven't realized anything.
After all, I have the will.
I know the language.
Gosh, given that I should stay in America.
But it's not so easy. Else all the poor guys
in the world would be American citizens.
I know. But how did you manage to stay?
Very simple: I got a wife.
You fell in love? - Not really. It was
marry an old lady or return to Magenta.
I can tell you plainly, I married the old
lady and became an American citizen.
Here's my house. - Slow down.
- No, look, I press a button.
I see, a photoelectric cell.
- Of course.
What about this car?
- My wife's Cadillac.
We each have one, my friend.
- Your wife is above? - Yes, she's waiting.
There we go. Let's go.
Darling, this is my friend Riccardo.
Oh, I'm so glad to meet you.
I've heard so much about you.
Some drinks, dear. - OK.
- Your sister-in-law?
What about the wine?
- No, I left out one small detail.
Let me explain: I divorced the old lady.
This is my second wife.
Sorry.
- Pardon me.
Have you been friends with Carlo long?
- Very long.
We're from the same town.
- You like martinis? - Thank you.
We've know each other
since we were this little.
Certainly, Carlo has been very lucky.
But tell me something…, thank you.
- You're welcome. - How did you meet Carlo?
It was the hand of fate.
I met him one night at a party
with his first wife. You know her?
Yes, he told me about her.
- He told me he was unhappy. - Really?
He is so sensitive, so intelligent.
He couldn't find himself
spiritually with this old lady.
Just think, he even spoke
of killing himself right away.
He took down my telephone number
and came soon to my house,
he gave me a cat as a gift,
and said, "Darling, I love you!"
"I want to marry you! Even if you're poor!"
- Were you poor?
Oh, no! My father's filthy rich!
But he didn't know that
because he's such a silly! - Hey!
Here I am, baby!
You like American wine? - Very.
- I'm going to the bathroom now. - Please.
California '64! This might seem strange,
but it's even better than our Lambrusco.
Carlo! Let's be honest with each other.
I say, there was some…, eh?
- No, my dear.
If you knew. - You certainly have
found your place. - Here.
I got grey hair but
I conquered America step by step.
My first wife was 62 and I drove her around
for 4 years before I got my citizenship.
Know what I say? If I had to start over
again, I'd do exactly as you have done.
Oh, very easy, we'll go to Miami.
- Go on.
Of course. There'll be rich widows,
loaded to the gills there.
Get married and in 24 hours,
you'll be an American.
Scotch on the rocks.
- Hey, I bet you're from Cuba!
I met you at the Tropicana that night.
Why don't you have dinner with me?
- Yes, yes. - Oh, I understand how it is.
You're a poor refugee, all alone.
Bring it on, what are you waiting for?
- What the heck does she want?
Here you are, Sir.
- Let's get out of here.
There are so many beautiful girls here.
Look how pretty they are. - Forget it.
Look at America's youth! And I should
waste my time with an old lady?
Me… me with them… yes!
They're looking at us.
Not bad.
- "Not bad"? They're beautiful.
But if I were you, I'd be serious.
Old ladies have billions.
That Texan lady isn't bad.
- What do I care about billions?
I don't have the stomach you have. Sorry.
Know what I think? Do what you want.
But I wouldn't give up the old ladies.
Excuse me. Bye.
Ah, yes.
Please, come with me tonight.
- Riccardo! - I have a Cadillac.
I'll get the bill.
- I'll pay for everything!
How do you do? May I? Vanzi.
Oh! How are you doing?
So nice to meet you.
A pleasure. Doctor Vanzi.
Hello. - Hi, there, baby.
- A pleasure.
You Spanish?
- Oh, no, Italian.
Hey, baby!
I don't like all this passing, you know?
Want some deodorant?
- No, thank you.
You do have a license, right?
Why you drive so fast?
It's dangerous.
Wow! My eye!
What?
There, that's better.
My contact lens.
They're really such a drag.
Your contact lens.
But can we go some place quiet, please?
Without this uh… driving.
Sure we can, big personality!
- Holy cow!
That's it, Riccardo!
Get yourself a bath!
Look who's here!
Later, we'll go skinny dipping!
- Fabulous!
Come on, here we are.
Let's go!
- Show me the way, honey.
Let's get some drinks?
- Hi! Wait for me! - Hi!
I could drink ten scorpions!
- I could attack a zombie!
Come on, Riccardo! - I'm coming!
- You big Italian personality! - Coming!
Let's get something to drink!
Charlie! Don't make me wait.
Can I have another, please? Double!
You don't mind, do you?
- You understand, the family
the father, the mother, sisters, cousins,
is… is important in Italy. Yes.
You are a big personality!
- Thank you.
There are little personalities
and there are big personalities!
You are a big one!
Why are you always like that?
-
Te gusta la flamenco? - Ah, yes.
- Quieres la corrida?
You're not Spanish?
- No, no, no. - No? - No.
Are you sure, you're not Spanish?
Oh, Madonna!
- A big personality!
Listen, have another drink.
- No, thank you very much.
What is it?
- Those two are crazy. Drunk.
I can't stand it. They drink like sponges.
I'm a serious person and they aren't.
You're never contented. - Fine, one keeps
killing me, the other thinks I'm Spanish.
Give me that one, come on.
- OK. Fine.
Listen, I'll give her to you
but she's too young.
You're wasting your time. Listen to me.
Think about old ladies.
Jenny? - Yeah.
- Riccardo. - Hi. - Hi.
Stop here, please.
Kiss me. All the time, please.
- Hey, what's your hurry?
Remove this, it's annoying. Come.
Oh! But you don't know how to kiss!
Does my friend kiss better?
- Who? Carlo? - Yes, Carlo.
Oh, no! He's terrible too.
He's all full of fire and passion
and all that but he's nothing.
225, 224, 223, 222…
Scratch countdown. Recycle plus 5…
- And your hands.
Why do you always have to move
your hands all over the place?
But I like to.
- A kiss is a kiss.
But if it's not done properly,
it loses all its value. Come here.
Come here. Come on.
Now, first thing: no violence.
Secondly, the head must
be in the right position.
And then the lips must be free. See.
And you must breathe through your nose.
And that way the kiss lasts much longer.
And then the rest.
- The rest?
You understand? The lips,
the teeth, the palette, the tongue.
Not necessarily in that order
because it's not a mathematical rule.
And you see how you're breathing?
It's obvious you've never
participated in any sports.
What are you doing? You want to leave?
Oh, no. Now that we started, let's go on.
And no violence.
- No violence.
No hands.
- No hands.
Position.
Say, you're a very good pupil.
Thank you, I guess.
603, 602… - What do these
numbers going backwards mean?
All systems now go.
- I must go.
What do you mean go? - It's late.
- But it's only 9:30. - I must go.
No, come on. Let's go to your place.
Can't I go home with you? Huh?
Don't you think all this
is beginning to get a little dangerous?
But we are at the mercy of our instincts.
You can get out now. We've arrived.
- But where?
I live here.
- You live here?
This is an encampment of a circus.
What is it? - Cape Kennedy.
Excuse me, dear. You can't leave me here
at Cape Kennedy. I must find my friend.
I'm no astronaut!
Excuse me, you are no Italian,
you are American.
Is it possible to have
a drink at your house?
OK. But wait a minute. I'm going in.
- I'll come with you. I come with you?
No, no. I'll be right back.
Cape Kennedy? Well!
Thanks a lot, honey.
What are you doing?
- I'm coming.
Just looking at the children dancing.
- Oh, it's probably a birthday party.
Well! Not bad.
Excuse me, but the mother, where
are the mother? - In bed. - Incredible!
Are we here?
- Welcome to my castle.
I like the gypsies.
Would you mind helping me?
- Oh, yes.
Give me the linen.
- Thanks.
After you.
- Do you live in a bus?
Careful. Have a Coca-Cola.
I want more kissin'.
What's that?
- My baby.
Your baby? Then you're married?
Isn't he cute?
- Why didn't you tell me before?
What?
- Before, I wasted all this time!
What kind of wife are you?
Your husband? He knows nothing?
What are you saying?
I haven't done anything wrong.
Of course, you haven't! That's rich!
First you kiss Carlo and then me,
then we do the lessons on the kiss!
I could've… but excuse me, to betray
your husband, what would we have to do?
Now, don't get excited. Kissing is nice.
It's a way of communicating.
It's just like shaking hands. - According
to you, kissing is shaking hands? Nice!
Excuse me, but why do you kiss
man on the beach you don't know?
I try to have a good time.
85, 84, 83…
- Here we go again.
82…
- That's the countdown.
In a few seconds, they're having a missile
shot. It's right here at Cape Kennedy.
That's where my husband is.
He's been working on the moon project.
Well…
These days, in order to get away from their
wives, men are even going to the moon.
I hardly ever see my husband anymore.
Hey, that's for the fish!
How gross! Today's not my day.
- You want something to eat?
No, thanks. - Go on.
- No. - Go on!
But one shouldn't joke like that.
Now where will I find a taxi?
22, 21, 20.
- Now entering final countdown phase.
16, 15, 14, 13, 12,
11, 10, 9, 8, 7,
6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0.
Hey, what are you doing?
Don't walk on the green when I'm putting!
Excuse me!
Damn drunks!
Oh, beautiful!
- It's 50 dollars.
Say, that's very nice!
- Hey!
Really!
Hey, there! Darn it!
Hey! Where's your friend?
My friend?
- Yeah, your friend Carlo.
Carlo? I don't know.
He disappeared with a girl.
Ah, he's a really good friend of mine.
Why don't you be my guest for today?
Eh, but… - Have a drink.
- No, thank you very much.
Carlo went to the Bahama Island.
Very near.
Hey, where is that damn martini?
- You come and fetch it, honey.
Hello.
- Hello?
When are we leaving for the party?
I hope it's just not old people this time.
Why don't you let me rest for a while?
We'll take him along with us.
You going?
- No, no, not possible.
My clothes and I must wait
for my friend Carlo. I'm sorry.
Don't take no for an answer!
- Why not?
No, no, no. But next time.
- But it's very close! - Really?
I don't know about in Italy,
but in Texas, we do it with a handshake.
I can't see the sea anymore. We've been
flying for two hours. Where are we going?
My friend, don't you speak any English?
- No!
Aw, come on, let's play the game now!
Come on, let's play!
No.
Come on, choose one! - You've cheated
me out of 100 dollars already!
It's not possible for me.
- Choose one!
OK, but last time. This.
I knew it.
- I won again! - Damn…
Another 100 dollars!
- These Italians!
They seem to be happy enough
while they win, but you know…
…when they lose…, - This time I do it!
- Sure. - …they cry like babies.
100 dollars. I just to show you, alright?
Now I'll show you how it's done.
There!
Ah, it was you speaking Italian in there.
Where are you from?
Who invited you and what's your name?
- Riccardo Vanzi.
I was to dine with some old lady but
I didn't know I was flying across America.
Welcome to my house.
That old lady is me.
I put my foot in it.
If I may, I'll try to make up for it.
Hey, does that beach craft go any faster?
Looks like I get to the party before you.
Come on, get the lead out!
Hi!
Hello? Hello? - All friends, eh?
- You read me, Bobby?
We're almost there.
We're over west Texas.
Yes, Texas!
- Holy cow! They've brought me to Texas?
Come on back, Riccardo.
It's your turn now.
No, thanks. I've had had enough games.
No, no. No thank you.
I won't play anymore.
Hello?
- What a piranha! Goodness gracious!
I don't even know them. Who are those two?
Fine acquaintances!
He's very intelligent.
He has 100 oil wells.
Don't you think they could've let me
know they were going to Texas?
These millionaires are annoying.
They mock me only because they have money.
And they cheated me too.
Know what I say?
These oil barons are disgusting.
I'm an oil baron too. I've 50 wells.
What? - Only 50.
- Holy cow! Today's my day!
Another gaffe!
- There's my factory!
Naturally, you're married?
3 times married and 3 times divorced.
Ah! Giddy up!
Hey, you know any of these girls?
- No, it's dangerous.
Oh, it's wonderful!
I must return to Miami. You understand?
- But why?
I can't play no more.
You've taken all my money!
"Play, play!"
You really are hard headed, you know?
Excuse me.
Thank you.
Let's all go to Mexico City after
the party is over. How about it?
Wild!
Hello, hello, Hilton Hotel, New York?
Mr Mazzetti, please.
Mazzetti. Yes.
M, Mazzetti.
M like Miami,
A like Alaska…, - Hey, Riccardo!
Hey, you deaf? - Z like…
Yes… - Old George said that
you were a strong Italian. Is that right?
Think you're pretty good, huh?
- One moment, please.
Give me your hand and put
that phone down. Go on, give!
Let's try out this strong Italian arm.
Come on!
Pull, man, pull! Man, you've got to
be kidding! Come on! - What do you want?
Get lost! - Next time, you go to a party
and try some of that Texas bourbon!
OK. Mr Mazzetti.
What? He's not in his room?
I need some shells.
Excuse me, is that an automatic?
- Uh, huh. There we go.
Chopper, ready! Pull!
Ah, fantastic! You really shot it!
Ah, thank you. It's nothing.
Would you like to have a shot?
Ah, no, really. I could never
shoot a poor creature with a gun.
I forgot, you're a sentimental Italian.
For me, it's like a sexual act.
It's very arousing.
There are other ways to be aroused, no?
And according to you, what should I do?
Remarry? - Why not? - Come on!
Last year, at a party,
I made a spectacular entrance!
I was on top of a pink elephant.
- Pink?
I was the hit of the party.
Very exciting.
But now I want to know all about you.
Have you had a busy life?
Rather quite.
- Well, it shows.
Here.
Here's you steak! Now don't you
be afraid to come back for more!
Thank you.
This steak for sure.
The underdeveloped areas
don't have any beef.
'Scuse me, Edith. They'd like to finish
discussing that business about the new well.
What business?
- It'll only take a short time, honey.
Oh, alright. What do they want?
More money?
Alright, I'm coming
- We'll get it over quickly.
Hold this. I'll be right back.
Now you eat that, boy!
Don't disappear.
We've much to talk about. Dear!
Out of my way, honey!
Yes, one moment!
Hey! What are you doing?
Leave him alone!
Leave him alone!
Hotel Hilton, NY, please? - Hey, Riccardo,
let's give it another try. - Him again!
New York, please. Hotel Hilton.
One moment.
New York, please! - You can call
that gal later! - I'll be right there.
Please… - I say that I can beat you again
Come on now. Let's get after it now. Try!
Fine.
You win. - Can I call now?
- Here you are. - Mr Mazzetti…
So long.
- Mr Mazzetti, please.
He's not in?
All bets on the table, gents. Let's get
the money on the table. Another 10 bucks.
10 dollars, for me.
No, this one! Yes.
Fine, but you cheated me so quickly!
I didn't even know what the game was. Eh!
Drink? Thank you.
Riccardo? What are you doing?
Running away?
No, I was in the saloon.
I was thinking maybe it was time I left.
But why?
Well… - You're my guest and you can't
leave, dear. Let's find a quiet spot.
Wealth…
… ruins everything even love.
- What's in this?
Orange and vodka.
Why do you do that?
- My husbands,
my husbands were interested
too much in my money.
Here. - For me?
- Suck it.
Love, on the other hand,
is beautiful when you're poor.
My first husband financed mythology.
The second one, on the other hand,
was a collector.
Here it all is.
However, you're quite different.
Tell me, Riccardo,
have you ever gone hungry?
Me?
In my whole life, I've never
met someone who went hungry.
Do you have any Chinese here?
Look, I…
Poor guy!
This part of the house was
designed by my second husband
who was jealous of what my first one did.
He preferred abstract art.
I prefer concrete things, like you.
Come on.
Hello!
- 'Scuse me, no understand English.
It's Riccardo. Riccardo Vanzi!
- Vanzi? But where are you?
Just guess.
- Guess? Are you drunk?
I'm nearby… in Texas!
And I'm having fun.
In Texas? What are you doing there?
You mad? - Doing? I'm getting married!
You've completely lost your mind!
Come back immediately to New York!
I'm never coming back!
The abuse you've handed out to me,
let's forget all about it.
Wait, wait! I'll put on my future wife!
- Hello?
Commendatore Ugly and Mean!
- Oh, yeah?
Tell your Riccardo, that with or without
him, I'm leaving on Wednesday.
And later in Magenta, he'll be brought to
account, not only with me but my brother!
Am I clear?
Come here. The Commendatore in New York…
He's waiting for me. You see?
How lovely!
I've know many men
but nobody like you.
No?
- I've had 3 husbands. You'll be the 4th.
Yes, let's drink. Let's drink champagne.
Cheers!
Don't stop talking.
You mustn't return to Italy.
- Oh, no.
What are you doing? Yes, yes, yes!
Your little foot on my ear!
I'm caressing you.
- Yes, more.
I don't want hear anymore about Italy
and Commendatore Mazzetti. How sad!
I love you, darling!
- Love…
Kiss me. Please, kiss me.
Bye! - So long!
- Bye!
Please! Where are the other guests?
The others? - I don't know.
They've done all flown off! - Mamma mia!
Thank you very much.
Hey! Wait for me!
Hey! Cowboy!
Thank you very much.
So long!
- Goodbye! Thank you!
I had a fine trip!
So much dust! Damn.
Better hurry.
- Hurry up, please.
Toby, did you know that I've
cracked up three times in an airplane?
No, not really.
Yes, well the first time, I wasn't
hurt at all. I wasn't even scratched.
The second time, we did hit an oil derrick.
- No! Is that right? - Yes! We did.
And I had to be taken to the hospital.
- Well! - I had three broken ribs.
But I had a marvelous time!
Everybody sent me flowers,
and all kind of goodwill things.
Oh, it was wonderful!
Excuse me, if you wisha to change, it's OK.
- Thank you. Thank you, very much.
Mamma mia!
Excuse me? - Yes?
- Can I have my drink, please? - Of course.
Well, the third time we cracked up,
I was with my son
and we cracked up right… well!
…on my own front yard! - That's alright.
And my husband was mowing the lawn
and he just merely said to the cook,
"Serve dinner!"
- Well! What do you know?
May I have your name, please?
- Ms Gardiner-Lance.
And your name?
- Ms Johnson.
Yours? - Riccardo Vanzi.
- Sorry? - V-A-N-Z-I.
Italian?
- Yes.
Would you like anything?
- No, thank you very much.
But… but you're Italian then?
Are you an Italian from Rome?
Yes, but not from Rome. Milan.
Yes, Milan.
I see… - Well, do you know
that the plane burned to the ground
and my dress was just ruined!
- Excuse me.
Excuse me.
- Where is he going?
Excuse me, Miss? - Yes?
- Are you really American? - Yes.
How come you speak Italian so well?
- Because my father is Sicilian. - Really?
But were you born here or there?
- Los Angeles.
No, I don't believe it. It's impossible.
You speak Italian too well.
I'm ready to bet on it.
- Why, does it matter? - Oh, no.
To speak Italian so well,
one must live there for 4 or 5 years.
It's true: You really are an American.
Well, I'm happy for you.
Excuse me.
- Listen,
I'm getting off at New York too.
Naturally, I don't know anyone.
I could, I don't know, if you didn't
like it, I'd be sorry, naturally,
invite myself to dinner?
Sure. But I'm not going to New York.
The plane changes crew at Dallas.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, do you know
the best restaurant in Dallas?
Crazy! Truly crazy!
- I ran a race, just to meet up with you.
Well, I wanted to go to New York,
and I wound up here with you.
What do you want? I like to embrace
the unexpected. - Ah, you Italians!
Don't misunderstand,
I'm not like any Italian guy you've known.
I'm different. May I?
- Thank you.
Undoubtedly, you lead an interesting life:
always traveling, meeting people, freedom.
Maybe you feel a bit lonely?
Don't you ever feel lonely? - No.
No? If that's so, pardon me.
Where are you sleeping tonight?
Does it matter?
You misunderstand me.
I mean you hostesses, after work is done,
where do you sleep? In a hotel?
- At Dallas, I have a small apartment.
Where does your family live?
- Los Angeles.
Ah, then you're completely free and alone.
Sorry, where's the cashier?
- Window 15. - Thank you.
It's such an unpleasant thing
to be without cash overseas.
Good morning. - Hello.
- Thank goodness, I have my checkbook.
Would you help us, please?
Can you change this, please? Thank you.
Sorry. This is an Italian check
and I can't help you.
I can't accept it.
Why isn't it good? The signature is
very good. It's from the Magenta Bank.
Look, it may be Italian but it's good.
It's very good check.
I don't understand.
- Don't you see?
I'm very sorry.
- Fine, check it. Call the Magenta.
Is it possible to call Magenta, Italy?
- No, I'm sorry.
Nice trust! I thank you.
- Thank you.
This is the first time,
that this has happened to me.
Shoot! This is all crap.
If I could get reimbursed
for this ticket to New York.
That won't be a problem. Let me
get it reimbursed. - At least for now.
Yes, of course, now then…
- I'll call my boss in New York later.
That's… that's exactly 55 dollars.
- Fine.
Let's do this: I have a ticket.
I'll have it reimbursed by the company.
I'll give the money to you.
- I couldn't accept. - Yes. - Thanks.
I'm still in a cold sweat! Now,
I can laugh but I almost had a breakdown.
Will you stay long in Dallas?
- I don't know. It depends on my errands.
Come. This ceiling is covered in pure gold.
Wipe your feet.
- OK. - Louise?
When did you get back?
- This morning.
You live together?
- Yes. I live with my coworker.
Don't come upstairs! - Don't worry,
I understand. I change and leave.
She just came back from
Montevideo and she's in bed.
Are we disturbing her?
- Heavens no. She's with her boyfriend.
Why don't you drink something?
- Sure but where? - Go check the kitchen.
There's nothing in the fridge.
But there is a smell…
What are these? Meatballs?
I just got hungry!
Hi.
- Hi.
You like to gamble?
Is he Mexican?
- No, Italian.
Hey, baby!
Hurry up with them hamburgers!
Don't look at her legs!
Know what we'll do?
Let's go to a restaurant. It'll be better.
Thank you.
You like it? - I haven't tasted it.
What is it? What do you call it?
Yours is a "White Angel".
- And yours? - A "Depraved Virgin."
What were you saying about your father?
- Nothing. I think he's still in Sicily.
Really?
Just imagine, when I came back home late,
like from a trip to Hawaii,
I'd find him sitting in his chair, waiting
for me for hours. - And your mother?
My mother doesn't matter.
And then? - Bless you.
- Nice aperitif… - But my father,
looks at me with eyes wide open
and with a terrible voice says,
"If you compromise yourself and
get pregnant, what would people say?"
Ah, prejudices!
The prejudices…
Your order, please?
I'll have this.
- For me, a teriyaki,
and also a portion of valimaki.
- Very good. - Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm so happy that I stayed with you.
- Me too.
What I appreciate about you Americans
is your lack of compromise.
This sense of honesty
in human relationships.
For example, what happened at your
house today… - What happened there?
Nothing. Your friend was
in bed with her boyfriend.
And you don't make any mystery of it.
Neither did she. - Why should we?
Why? Just think of two single girls
living together in an apartment in Italy!
There's my duck pie. I'm starved!
It's OK.
Weren't you very hungry?
- Oh, yes.
Then why are you eating that?
- I have to control myself. A diet.
I'd like to eat and eat but unfortunately,
fat. - You should see my father!
Would you let try a bite of the duck pie?
- Of course. - Just to taste it.
Thank you.
Oh, Sir! Your change.
That's correct: 47, 48, 49, 50.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
You're very kind.
Come.
Riccardo, come here. Look.
Look isn't it lovely here?
- Marvelous.
But I can't look down
because I get vertigo.
Where do we go now?
- I don't know. Wherever you want to.
You see that bright sign? - Which one?
- There. The biggest nightclub in Dallas.
Shall we go? - What about somewhere
smaller? - Let's go to the Passion Pit.
Passion Pit? - It's a drive in. We call it
the Passion Pit, La Fosse Della Passione.
Here's your water.
Here.
Do you have a headache, dear?
- No.
Come down here.
Pull it. Pull the lever.
Look! There's a holy Mass.
Look over there.
Yeah.
Just think I have to leave
already for Mexico City.
Of course, you should ask
leave to reschedule.
I understand that you're worried
but I'm ready to make reparations.
Reparations for what?
- Reparation for the wrong I did you.
I know I got carried away yesterday,
maybe I drunk too much.
But I'm ready to do my duty.
I've compromised you.
But it was very nice.
- Yes, it was true love.
But you're an honest girl and it's just
that I right this wrong. - What wrong?
Listen, darling…,
Look, we're celebrating the holy Mass.
It's a sign from destiny.
Louisa, I'll marry you.
Marry me? Why?
- Why? For what happened.
And I should get married
just because of that?
You're so naive.
- That's how I am! Sorry.
What happened last night is
important to me. - I don't get it.
What do you mean?
Your father is Sicilian.
Don't you have any sense of morality?
You see, dear, in America, there are
2 ways to love: "Make out" and "involved".
Involved is something serious,
a betrothal, ties.
Making out is what happened to us.
Just for kicks.
It's just a game.
And children?
What children?
- Is it just a game for them?
You may not realize it,
but a child may be born, don't you know?
Don't worry, dear.
Last night, I took the pill. Remember?
I see.
And I had remorse!
Forget it, I was wrong.
I thought you were an honest girl.
Instead, you're on the pill!
Holy cow!
Miss!
Please! But there is an error!
- Let me check it for you.
It's correct, Sir.
But what is this?
- That's the tax.
Taxes? Goddamn it!
Can I help you?
No, don't bother. It's not like
they'll call the police over a sandwich!
Go ahead, take it!
No, I can't accept.
Besides, it's only 25 cents.
- It's for tip, no?
Right. The tip.
Well… Thank you.
Are you crying?
- Go away.
Holy cow!
Yeah, I'm crying! So?
You see I'm a foreigner,
without a penny in the middle of America.
And I'm made to look bad.
I just don't know…
It's not even the money, you understand.
I hate to see a man cry.
Want me to help you?
If only!
Sorry, but how can you help me?
- Come with me to New Orleans.
No, it's too far for me.
At our school, we're all
young without any inhibitions.
We don't believe
in the old morality, you see.
Well, I think just the same way.
That's why I want to stay in America.
Europe is old.
Smile! It's the police.
If they stop us, say I'm your daughter.
You're my father!
Say, why should I've told
them I was your father?
You have to be 16 to drive.
You're not 16?
- 15.
And naturally, the car isn't yours!
You didn't steal it?
- Hey, it's a friend's!
Fine, the truth is that
I have a little marijuana.
What?
I have 2 kilos in my trunk for my club.
You understand now?
I gave you a ride, so the police
wouldn't stop me. Get it?
Yeah, "get it"!
Both of us will end up in jail!
Don't you know that marijuana
is a drug like cocaine?
Don't act the martyr!
- Martyr! Oh, God, it's them.
This is my baby!
I'm Daddy! My daughter!
See? They passed us by.
You just earned yourself 100 dollars!
Why? Why do you make me wear this shirt?
- You stand out. So you won't be noticed.
Try this one, go on. - If you don't give
me the 100 dollars, I'm leaving.
I'll give it to you after. OK?
There.
- It doesn't suit me. Forget about it.
But…
- Hey! You've seen Johnny?
Yeah, over there.
- Come on!
Hey man, where's Johnny?
- I haven't seen him.
Holy cow! Don't draw attention.
The police are here. - Don't sweat it.
Johnny! I've been looking all over for you!
Hey, you! Out of the way!
- Shut him off! Come on, Cobra Man!
Aren't the Drakes wild?
Take this purse. Go, man!
Go, Johnny! Go!
He won!
You did it! You won!
You did it! You're wonderful!
You've won! You've won! You've won!
Give it to Johnny's girl.
- Oh, sure. - Thank you.
It's mine!
- Holy cow! What is this?
I was first.
- Excuse me.
Oh, my God!
- Dropping everything! - Please.
It's my fault.
- Of course, it's not your fault.
I was clumsy. - May I help you?
- No, really. - Please.
It's not necessary.
- But…
No. Thank you.
- I insist!
I have to go!
- I want to help.
That's all I need!
- Where are you going?
Very nice. In your new clothes, you look
very elegant. - Thank you very much.
Lovely.
- This place is fantastic.
Wonderful! - Why?
- These big stores, you can buy anything.
For example a hat, an overcoat…,
- Be careful! - …a tie, a very nice shirt.
Just for 5 dollars.
Now, I understand. I imagined
you were Italian. Isn't that right?
Really? Yes, it's true.
But how could you tell?
I took advantage of a small accident to
play the parrot. Is that how you say it?
Yes, but in Italy, there are many kinds
of "pappagali" (also means wolf whistlers).
I was two years in Italy.
In 1958, in Verona.
With my husband, who was in the army.
Your husband?
- Yes, he was in NATO.
Then you're married?
- No, I'm divorced.
For two years.
- Ah, thank goodness!
And then?
- Now I have my work.
My two children.
They keep me company. I like it like that.
Better than a wrong marriage.
Right. - Besides, it's not easy to get
married at my age with two kids.
I understand.
Are you Catholic?
- No, Baptist.
Here we are, we've arrived home.
I'll get the packages.
- Thank you. I take it!
You live here? - Yes.
- Ah, very nice.
I like American neighborhoods:
these lawns all the same,
these small houses all the same,
these children all the same…
This is the most American part of the city.
New Orleans is much more European.
Really?
- Have you ever been to Paris? - Well…
I'd love to go there.
- Me too.
You know I'm half French?
I'm going to get my other girl.
But your nationality is American, right?
- Yes. Born in America.
My grandparents were French.
- Come on.
What's your name? - Richard.
- Can I call you Ricky? - Oh, yes.
Come on.
Yes. Yes! Pretty little baby.
Please, fall asleep. OK?
I'm a little worried, eh?
I'm left my partner in New York,
and I've been all over America.
- Do you like this country?
Ah, very much. I've been playing
with the idea of settling here.
What is this girl doing?
- But, changing your life isn't easy.
Why? My poor nose, please!
Come on, it's time for you to go
to sleep now! Let's drink your milk.
Here. You're worse than a child.
- Evidently.
Thank you.
They tied my legs too.
So what do you think?
Should I stay in America? - It depends.
If you're not leaving
behind something important.
No, please! Only some friends and
talking about soccer and cars.
It's a shame you never married.
- Why?
Because I think you'd make a good father.
And not a good husband?
That I don't know.
That's harder to understand.
Ricky! Ricky!
Aren't you going to sleep?
- Oh, sure.
Night.
- Good night.
What are you doing? You hungry?
I was looking in the fridge, excuse me.
This is baby food.
- Ah, that's why it tasted strange.
But it's not bad. Tastes like
sweet pumpkin. - No, it's carrot.
Carrot? Carrot tastes like pumpkin?
What does pumpkin taste like?
Like apples.
- Really?
And the apples?
- Like pumpkin.
I'll make you two eggs.
- What are you talking about?
I don't want to bother you. - You were
a good nanny, you deserve dinner.
Ah, no, I won't accept this.
But, if you insist…
Yes.
- Thank you.
Alright, fine. I've a confession to make:
The last half hour, I've been trying to
think of a way to invite you out to eat.
But I'd rather stay here with you.
- Don't commit. First eat, then tell me.
For me, dinner would be enough.
It's too bad that you've already
been married. - How come?
Because… because you seem to me
a woman well worth marrying.
Don't you find this show interesting?
- Oh, yes.
But I find you more interesting.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
I can't make out a word they're saying.
That's because they're speaking in slang,
not American. - It's all Greek to me!
It's very funny!
- It makes you laugh? - Yes.
Perhaps… - Don't you think
that you'll be late for your train?
I forgot all about it.
- I'll go get you a taxi.
Hello?
Can you send a taxi, please?
Maybe I can get a train tomorrow.
Certainly, there's nobody there.
37 Ithaca Street.
Thank you.
Well, thanks for everything.
If by any chance, I miss the train,
can I see you again?
No, it's better you don't.
- Can I at least call you?
Thank you.
Goodbye.
The Tiffany Club! Perfect strip fest!
Plenty of room! Plenty of drinks!
And we have Miss Baby Ruth,
direct from Las Vegas!
Come in and see what you're missing!
Right here at the Tiffany Club!
Let's hear it for, Sandy,
our swinging stripper!
Come on, let's put
those hands to work, boys!
Next chick here is Little Orphan Annie.
Now let's let her know that we like her!
And let's hear it for Miss Sandy Lee.
Get ready for the action here!
Got plenty of room!
What a night: The Boom Boom Girl,
she brings on the heatwave!
Gotta see it to believe it, gents,
come on inside!
You again?
Yes. May I come in?
- Yes.
Then you missed your train?
- Yes, I missed my train.
But I did it on purpose.
- I don't understand.
May I sit down?
- Please do.
I'll take off my jacket.
It's better I speak all at once,
so I won't think about it.
Now then, I came to America with
the firm intention of marrying an American:
beautiful or ugly, young or old.
It didn't matter how.
What mattered was getting a green card.
That's why, when I got here,
everytime I met a woman
it became an obsession to marry her.
Without considering if I liked her or not.
I acted in bad faith.
Even with me?
No. Not with you.
And that's the point.
But, don't you realize I'm gambling with
my career? My partner waits for me in NY.
More of a boss than a partner…
And why all this?
Because I'm in love. For real.
I know it was unforeseen.
Besides, tomorrow I leave
and you'll never see me again.
Maybe I also wanted to find
out if you had regrets.
Yes, I had regrets.
- Then, I'll stay!
Then you're really crazy.
What can I do?
I can't just up and decide.
I have kids, a house,
you're a stranger, you come, you go!
What happened in one hour,
doesn't happen in a year!
I can see that deep down
you want me to stay. - I don't know.
I was at peace for two years alone,
without any problems. You come and…
So? If you have faith in me,
I'm ready to legalize your position.
- No, one can't decide that in one day.
Why can't one decide?
- I don't feel sure of myself.
I have need of affection, warmth.
Now, I'm a little tired,
it's better to go to sleep.
And where will I sleep?
There are only two beds.
And it's better you go with the girls.
Good night.
Think it over, dear.
I've already made up my mind.
It's good to see so many faces here.
Dear brothers and sisters,
in Jesus Christ our Lord,
today I want to emphasize
the importance of the family unit.
With the rise in divorce rates…
- Be good, don't touch the coins.
…and wives remember
their sacred marriage vows.
For it is the children, those small ones
who suffer for their parents' indiscretions.
Now hold on to my hand.
- Come on, come on.
What are we doing? Going home or…?
- I don't know.
I don't know but if you want we can go
to the zoo? - No, it's better we go home.
It's really better.
- OK.
Come on. Be careful when
you're crossing the street. Hold my hand.
Come on. - Now, hold on.
- Watch out for the cars.
Come on.
- Lisa!
Go inside.
- We're home.
You girls go in the garden.
- And when he comes, shall you speak or me?
No, it's better I speak.
Besides, it was my idea, right?
But don't you think…?
- No, I'll speak.
Daddy! Daddy, when did you get here?
- What? - What are you doing here?
Is he already here?
- I don't know.
He has the keys?
Oh, hi! I wanted to surprise the children,
so I jumped the fence.
Hey, you're looking great.
- I looked for you in church.
Hi! You're Riccardo?
- Yes.
A pleasure.
- The pleasure's all mine.
Carol has spoken a lot about you.
- Daddy. - OK, OK! - Daddy!
Come on and finish fixing the swing.
- Would you get the tools, please?
OK, right away. - C'mon!
- OK, I'm coming.
OK, Lisa, I'll swing you.
Just be quiet.
Any pliers? - What do you think of him?
- Rather nice. Look, that must be them.
Maybe… - It's heavy.
- Maybe a bit superficial.
Oh, no. He's simple, quiet.
Exactly, a bit childish. - But…
- Here it is. - Yes.
And then I didn't like what he did.
He made me feel inferior. - Why?
Why? Because he just had
to give them a swing today?
What can I give them now? A rollercoaster?
Anyway, I'll have a talk with him.
Say, Riccardo, when is the happy day?
- Huh?
Well, this is not the best place to talk.
- Sure. - Let's go for a walk.
I wanted to thank you because
you are very understanding.
I understand that your situation is
a little embarrassing. - How?
Because it can't be
a pleasant thing to find out
that your own wife is going with another.
But we're divorced.
- Of course! But…
Anyway, it's all for the best, eh!
Don't worry about the girls.
They'll never want for affection.
Let's go drink.
What are you doing? - Oh, nothing.
Just talking about this and that. Thanks.
Cheers!
- Here's to you.
We were just saying that nothing can be
said against the girls remaining with us.
Well, you can come visit,
I can't say everyday but maybe once a week.
I trust Carol.
If Carol trusts it, I'm fine. OK?
OK, OK!
It's a great weight off my shoulders.
Listen, shall we celebrate the event?
- OK. But I need to prepare something.
No, no need. Leave it to me.
I'll make you two a spaghetti to die for.
Do you have an apron? - Yes.
- Spaghetti too? - Yes.
Crushed tomatoes? Then, we're all set!
- You're fantastic!
Too bad, it's not our cheese.
This is rather weak.
Know what I'll do? - I'll make up for it
with pepper and don't you worry about it.
This is burning!
- I said that I'll do the cooking!
Please, don't mess me up. Go inside
and prepare the table. Excuse me.
You know what this is called?
Spaghetti alla carbonara.
Very easy with raw spices.
Put one egg for each person, so that
for every two yolks, one egg white.
Looks terrific! Hey, what a good cook!
- Of course.
Shall we put a little mustard?
- Are you crazy?
If I listened to you, dear, who knows
what would come out in place of the pasta.
Come here.
Excuse me, eh?
I want to tell you a secret. It's strange
but in Italy a woman like that:
serious, young, beautiful, who works,
and at the same time preserves
her femininity, where can I find that?
Look at her!
Beautiful and dignified.
- I never thought about that.
You should have, my friend!
See, it's easy for a foreigner to discover
the many qualities of an American woman.
Let me tell you, since I'm older, but
you don't find a woman like that every day.
What do you think? I'll make the same
mistakes you Americans make? No!
You know what I'll do?
Make her become Catholic and marry in
church. This way, there'll be no divorce.
Taste this with the pepper. How is it?
Very good. Great.
- I can throw it in? - Yes. - Thanks.
Good.
Done.
Where's the can opener? Where? There.
When I see Sofia, I am stunned…
- Not that way, stupid!
Like this!
You can't do anything.
- But I don't know this stupid machine.
Mother doesn't dirty so many dishes.
How come you make such a mess?
There. A little bit of bacon!
How does she do it? How?
When I see Sofia, I'm stunned…
Your shop speaks!
Come to the table! The food's ready!
Hey! To the table!
Come to the table!
It's been so long.
- I'd almost forgotten.
Carol?
- It's Carlo.
What do we do? - Go see!
- Carol! - Hurry.
It's ready.
I'm sorry, Richard.
Really, Richard, I'm sorry.
Please, try to understand.
It's better you leave.
- But the pasta?
And… thank you so much, Riccardo.
Ricky!
Don't forget your bag.
Let's get the car closed up.
We're almost in New York.
Next stop, Trenton, New Jersey.
Last stop before Grand Central Station NY.
'Scuse me, how far is New York?
- About 50 miles, an hour by train.
Thank you very much.
Hello? Hello?
Hello? Carlo?
I should smash your face in.
Yes, because you don't desert a friend!
What? You left me in the middle of America!
What were you doing?
Of course, I gotta leave tomorrow morning.
Eh! What?
Who did you find? - Yes, I found the right
one for you! Write down her address.
5th Avenue, on the corner of 14th Street,
51st floor.
And if they won't let you in,
give them the password: Green Rabbit.
Fine, I'll be right there.
Hello? Green Rabbit.
- What's your name?
Riccardo Vanzi. - What?
- Riccardo Vanzi. - Wipe your feet.
I already did.
- Come in. Your jacket.
Thank you.
And then this old cat took me to Las Vegas
and he gave me 500 dollars besides.
How about that? - Say, could I
borrow a 100 dollars? I'm sorta uptight.
But you still owe me 200 from last time!
- Don't be difficult.
Hey, old man! Rascal, come here!
- Ah, there he is.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Come, sit down next to me.
May I present the "corpse".
- Eh? Hello.
She doesn't understand much.
- Sorry. Come here.
Are they all gangsters here? - Don't say
that. They're all friends. Very nice.
Fine, show me the lady and
we'll say no more. - Very easy!
Take a whore, marry her and
she'll be thankful. - A whore?
We've come to this… - Come, don't worry.
I'll introduce you to the marchigiano. Bob!
A pleasure.
- Good evening. Green rabbit. - Yes.
Come, he'll show you where to go.
I'll see you later, Riccardo.
- I'll give you a nice glass of champagne.
You like champagne?
- Yes.
Thank you. - You like the apartment?
- Very nice.
I'll show you the divan. It's 17 meters
long and cost 20 million. You like it?
This one?
- Feel it, it's smooth.
It's all kangaroo.
How do you say that in Italian?
Kangaroo.
- I forgot. Look at this.
You like it? You recognize her?
She laughs and cries.
You like it? Does it excite you?
- Ah, Marilyn Monroe. - Yes, come.
Here, you smoke marijuana?
You like it? - No, thank you.
Look, there's a piano in the bar.
Look, come here.
Want to sing? Play?
- No, I can't play. - No? Nor can I.
What's his name?
- Riccardo. - OK.
Say, would that be the girl?
- Yes, that's her.
You sure? - Go without worries.
- I'll take her.
I've laid the groundwork.
- In there? - Of course!
Can I go in the bedroom?
- Yes. - Thanks. I'm going.
Wait a moment.
Remember the 50,000 lire? - Yes?
I'm paying you back.
It's Marilyn Monroe.
- Lovely.
Hi, you're Riccardo, right?
Carlo has talked a lot about you.
Come on.
You wanted to tell me something important?
I want to marry you.
What?
Look, I'm not a rich man.
But I can give you a house,
a family and an honorable name.
You understand?
I understand. You're very kind.
And I thank you.
I've been a call girl for a year
but I have my own schedule.
I'll do it for two more years and when
I have 10,000 dollars, I'll go to college.
And then to California.
I know a young man there.
Young and very rich.
I'll marry him. And he'll give me a fine
house, a large pool and lovely children.
Bye.
So long.
Thank you.
Air France wishes to announce that
Flight 726 departing for Nice and Milan,
is now boarding at Gate 13.
Air France wishes to announce that
Flight 726 departing for Nice and Milan.
The passengers are asked to
present themselves at Gate 13.
English subtitles by sineintegral@KG
AKA RUN FOR YOUR WIFE
Hello?
Concierge, excuse me.
Commendatore Mazzetti, please,
not disturb him 'til Monday. No.
The fat gentleman?
That correcta.
My boss donta speak in English.
Thank you very much. Goodbye.
Hey, there!
How are you, my old pal?
- Fine, thanks. And you?
You look great.
- Welcome to New York! - Thanks a lot.
You know my father-in-law?
- A pleasure. - Very glad to meet you.
Riccardone, come with us! Go on!
- OK, but where are we going?
It's noon, we're naturally going to eat.
Permit me to be your host.
- No, we're going to my house.
Come on, Poppy.
Yes, I'm here with my boss on a deal
in shoes. For a few days, naturally.
But between us, it's not worth it.
I'm going to rely a lot on you.
Will you show me New York?
- We'll see. - You can't?
Unfortunately, here in New York,
everyone has their own car. And you?
I'm making good progress: I've went
from a Lambretta to a Cinquecento.
Going uphill is like a mule though.
- Here it is.
Is this yours? - Yeah, my mini.
- Not bad, eh?
Is it the company car?
- No, it's mine. Get in.
Congratulations.
- Holy cow, what a jerk I am!
I just remembered the 50,000 lire you lent
me seven years ago. - Forget about it!
I never forgot it, you know.
Thank you. - So long, Carlo.
Is the car used?
- No, it's brand new.
Really? How did you manage it?
- I worked hard, my friend. - Really?
In America, nothing is free.
Do you live in a flat outside the city?
- No, I live in a townhouse. It's charming.
You rent, of course?
- No, I'm the owner.
Nothing special: a nice garden, a pool.
Because after work, I like to relax.
It's really nice here. I imagine this
is a residential area for billionaires?
No, for people like us.
Lawyers live here, plumbers…
a little bit of everybody.
Stop it. Look, I really am right.
- Why?
Because, because this another world,
another planet.
Can't you see?
A whole different economic level.
Well, America's not Magenta.
- I could kick myself.
No, because I should've done
what you did ten years ago.
If you did it, why couldn't I do it too?
But I'll tell you something: If I manage
to place myself here, I'll never leave.
Besides, what have I done in Magenta?
In 30 years, I haven't realized anything.
After all, I have the will.
I know the language.
Gosh, given that I should stay in America.
But it's not so easy. Else all the poor guys
in the world would be American citizens.
I know. But how did you manage to stay?
Very simple: I got a wife.
You fell in love? - Not really. It was
marry an old lady or return to Magenta.
I can tell you plainly, I married the old
lady and became an American citizen.
Here's my house. - Slow down.
- No, look, I press a button.
I see, a photoelectric cell.
- Of course.
What about this car?
- My wife's Cadillac.
We each have one, my friend.
- Your wife is above? - Yes, she's waiting.
There we go. Let's go.
Darling, this is my friend Riccardo.
Oh, I'm so glad to meet you.
I've heard so much about you.
Some drinks, dear. - OK.
- Your sister-in-law?
What about the wine?
- No, I left out one small detail.
Let me explain: I divorced the old lady.
This is my second wife.
Sorry.
- Pardon me.
Have you been friends with Carlo long?
- Very long.
We're from the same town.
- You like martinis? - Thank you.
We've know each other
since we were this little.
Certainly, Carlo has been very lucky.
But tell me something…, thank you.
- You're welcome. - How did you meet Carlo?
It was the hand of fate.
I met him one night at a party
with his first wife. You know her?
Yes, he told me about her.
- He told me he was unhappy. - Really?
He is so sensitive, so intelligent.
He couldn't find himself
spiritually with this old lady.
Just think, he even spoke
of killing himself right away.
He took down my telephone number
and came soon to my house,
he gave me a cat as a gift,
and said, "Darling, I love you!"
"I want to marry you! Even if you're poor!"
- Were you poor?
Oh, no! My father's filthy rich!
But he didn't know that
because he's such a silly! - Hey!
Here I am, baby!
You like American wine? - Very.
- I'm going to the bathroom now. - Please.
California '64! This might seem strange,
but it's even better than our Lambrusco.
Carlo! Let's be honest with each other.
I say, there was some…, eh?
- No, my dear.
If you knew. - You certainly have
found your place. - Here.
I got grey hair but
I conquered America step by step.
My first wife was 62 and I drove her around
for 4 years before I got my citizenship.
Know what I say? If I had to start over
again, I'd do exactly as you have done.
Oh, very easy, we'll go to Miami.
- Go on.
Of course. There'll be rich widows,
loaded to the gills there.
Get married and in 24 hours,
you'll be an American.
Scotch on the rocks.
- Hey, I bet you're from Cuba!
I met you at the Tropicana that night.
Why don't you have dinner with me?
- Yes, yes. - Oh, I understand how it is.
You're a poor refugee, all alone.
Bring it on, what are you waiting for?
- What the heck does she want?
Here you are, Sir.
- Let's get out of here.
There are so many beautiful girls here.
Look how pretty they are. - Forget it.
Look at America's youth! And I should
waste my time with an old lady?
Me… me with them… yes!
They're looking at us.
Not bad.
- "Not bad"? They're beautiful.
But if I were you, I'd be serious.
Old ladies have billions.
That Texan lady isn't bad.
- What do I care about billions?
I don't have the stomach you have. Sorry.
Know what I think? Do what you want.
But I wouldn't give up the old ladies.
Excuse me. Bye.
Ah, yes.
Please, come with me tonight.
- Riccardo! - I have a Cadillac.
I'll get the bill.
- I'll pay for everything!
How do you do? May I? Vanzi.
Oh! How are you doing?
So nice to meet you.
A pleasure. Doctor Vanzi.
Hello. - Hi, there, baby.
- A pleasure.
You Spanish?
- Oh, no, Italian.
Hey, baby!
I don't like all this passing, you know?
Want some deodorant?
- No, thank you.
You do have a license, right?
Why you drive so fast?
It's dangerous.
Wow! My eye!
What?
There, that's better.
My contact lens.
They're really such a drag.
Your contact lens.
But can we go some place quiet, please?
Without this uh… driving.
Sure we can, big personality!
- Holy cow!
That's it, Riccardo!
Get yourself a bath!
Look who's here!
Later, we'll go skinny dipping!
- Fabulous!
Come on, here we are.
Let's go!
- Show me the way, honey.
Let's get some drinks?
- Hi! Wait for me! - Hi!
I could drink ten scorpions!
- I could attack a zombie!
Come on, Riccardo! - I'm coming!
- You big Italian personality! - Coming!
Let's get something to drink!
Charlie! Don't make me wait.
Can I have another, please? Double!
You don't mind, do you?
- You understand, the family
the father, the mother, sisters, cousins,
is… is important in Italy. Yes.
You are a big personality!
- Thank you.
There are little personalities
and there are big personalities!
You are a big one!
Why are you always like that?
-
Te gusta la flamenco? - Ah, yes.
- Quieres la corrida?
You're not Spanish?
- No, no, no. - No? - No.
Are you sure, you're not Spanish?
Oh, Madonna!
- A big personality!
Listen, have another drink.
- No, thank you very much.
What is it?
- Those two are crazy. Drunk.
I can't stand it. They drink like sponges.
I'm a serious person and they aren't.
You're never contented. - Fine, one keeps
killing me, the other thinks I'm Spanish.
Give me that one, come on.
- OK. Fine.
Listen, I'll give her to you
but she's too young.
You're wasting your time. Listen to me.
Think about old ladies.
Jenny? - Yeah.
- Riccardo. - Hi. - Hi.
Stop here, please.
Kiss me. All the time, please.
- Hey, what's your hurry?
Remove this, it's annoying. Come.
Oh! But you don't know how to kiss!
Does my friend kiss better?
- Who? Carlo? - Yes, Carlo.
Oh, no! He's terrible too.
He's all full of fire and passion
and all that but he's nothing.
225, 224, 223, 222…
Scratch countdown. Recycle plus 5…
- And your hands.
Why do you always have to move
your hands all over the place?
But I like to.
- A kiss is a kiss.
But if it's not done properly,
it loses all its value. Come here.
Come here. Come on.
Now, first thing: no violence.
Secondly, the head must
be in the right position.
And then the lips must be free. See.
And you must breathe through your nose.
And that way the kiss lasts much longer.
And then the rest.
- The rest?
You understand? The lips,
the teeth, the palette, the tongue.
Not necessarily in that order
because it's not a mathematical rule.
And you see how you're breathing?
It's obvious you've never
participated in any sports.
What are you doing? You want to leave?
Oh, no. Now that we started, let's go on.
And no violence.
- No violence.
No hands.
- No hands.
Position.
Say, you're a very good pupil.
Thank you, I guess.
603, 602… - What do these
numbers going backwards mean?
All systems now go.
- I must go.
What do you mean go? - It's late.
- But it's only 9:30. - I must go.
No, come on. Let's go to your place.
Can't I go home with you? Huh?
Don't you think all this
is beginning to get a little dangerous?
But we are at the mercy of our instincts.
You can get out now. We've arrived.
- But where?
I live here.
- You live here?
This is an encampment of a circus.
What is it? - Cape Kennedy.
Excuse me, dear. You can't leave me here
at Cape Kennedy. I must find my friend.
I'm no astronaut!
Excuse me, you are no Italian,
you are American.
Is it possible to have
a drink at your house?
OK. But wait a minute. I'm going in.
- I'll come with you. I come with you?
No, no. I'll be right back.
Cape Kennedy? Well!
Thanks a lot, honey.
What are you doing?
- I'm coming.
Just looking at the children dancing.
- Oh, it's probably a birthday party.
Well! Not bad.
Excuse me, but the mother, where
are the mother? - In bed. - Incredible!
Are we here?
- Welcome to my castle.
I like the gypsies.
Would you mind helping me?
- Oh, yes.
Give me the linen.
- Thanks.
After you.
- Do you live in a bus?
Careful. Have a Coca-Cola.
I want more kissin'.
What's that?
- My baby.
Your baby? Then you're married?
Isn't he cute?
- Why didn't you tell me before?
What?
- Before, I wasted all this time!
What kind of wife are you?
Your husband? He knows nothing?
What are you saying?
I haven't done anything wrong.
Of course, you haven't! That's rich!
First you kiss Carlo and then me,
then we do the lessons on the kiss!
I could've… but excuse me, to betray
your husband, what would we have to do?
Now, don't get excited. Kissing is nice.
It's a way of communicating.
It's just like shaking hands. - According
to you, kissing is shaking hands? Nice!
Excuse me, but why do you kiss
man on the beach you don't know?
I try to have a good time.
85, 84, 83…
- Here we go again.
82…
- That's the countdown.
In a few seconds, they're having a missile
shot. It's right here at Cape Kennedy.
That's where my husband is.
He's been working on the moon project.
Well…
These days, in order to get away from their
wives, men are even going to the moon.
I hardly ever see my husband anymore.
Hey, that's for the fish!
How gross! Today's not my day.
- You want something to eat?
No, thanks. - Go on.
- No. - Go on!
But one shouldn't joke like that.
Now where will I find a taxi?
22, 21, 20.
- Now entering final countdown phase.
16, 15, 14, 13, 12,
11, 10, 9, 8, 7,
6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0.
Hey, what are you doing?
Don't walk on the green when I'm putting!
Excuse me!
Damn drunks!
Oh, beautiful!
- It's 50 dollars.
Say, that's very nice!
- Hey!
Really!
Hey, there! Darn it!
Hey! Where's your friend?
My friend?
- Yeah, your friend Carlo.
Carlo? I don't know.
He disappeared with a girl.
Ah, he's a really good friend of mine.
Why don't you be my guest for today?
Eh, but… - Have a drink.
- No, thank you very much.
Carlo went to the Bahama Island.
Very near.
Hey, where is that damn martini?
- You come and fetch it, honey.
Hello.
- Hello?
When are we leaving for the party?
I hope it's just not old people this time.
Why don't you let me rest for a while?
We'll take him along with us.
You going?
- No, no, not possible.
My clothes and I must wait
for my friend Carlo. I'm sorry.
Don't take no for an answer!
- Why not?
No, no, no. But next time.
- But it's very close! - Really?
I don't know about in Italy,
but in Texas, we do it with a handshake.
I can't see the sea anymore. We've been
flying for two hours. Where are we going?
My friend, don't you speak any English?
- No!
Aw, come on, let's play the game now!
Come on, let's play!
No.
Come on, choose one! - You've cheated
me out of 100 dollars already!
It's not possible for me.
- Choose one!
OK, but last time. This.
I knew it.
- I won again! - Damn…
Another 100 dollars!
- These Italians!
They seem to be happy enough
while they win, but you know…
…when they lose…, - This time I do it!
- Sure. - …they cry like babies.
100 dollars. I just to show you, alright?
Now I'll show you how it's done.
There!
Ah, it was you speaking Italian in there.
Where are you from?
Who invited you and what's your name?
- Riccardo Vanzi.
I was to dine with some old lady but
I didn't know I was flying across America.
Welcome to my house.
That old lady is me.
I put my foot in it.
If I may, I'll try to make up for it.
Hey, does that beach craft go any faster?
Looks like I get to the party before you.
Come on, get the lead out!
Hi!
Hello? Hello? - All friends, eh?
- You read me, Bobby?
We're almost there.
We're over west Texas.
Yes, Texas!
- Holy cow! They've brought me to Texas?
Come on back, Riccardo.
It's your turn now.
No, thanks. I've had had enough games.
No, no. No thank you.
I won't play anymore.
Hello?
- What a piranha! Goodness gracious!
I don't even know them. Who are those two?
Fine acquaintances!
He's very intelligent.
He has 100 oil wells.
Don't you think they could've let me
know they were going to Texas?
These millionaires are annoying.
They mock me only because they have money.
And they cheated me too.
Know what I say?
These oil barons are disgusting.
I'm an oil baron too. I've 50 wells.
What? - Only 50.
- Holy cow! Today's my day!
Another gaffe!
- There's my factory!
Naturally, you're married?
3 times married and 3 times divorced.
Ah! Giddy up!
Hey, you know any of these girls?
- No, it's dangerous.
Oh, it's wonderful!
I must return to Miami. You understand?
- But why?
I can't play no more.
You've taken all my money!
"Play, play!"
You really are hard headed, you know?
Excuse me.
Thank you.
Let's all go to Mexico City after
the party is over. How about it?
Wild!
Hello, hello, Hilton Hotel, New York?
Mr Mazzetti, please.
Mazzetti. Yes.
M, Mazzetti.
M like Miami,
A like Alaska…, - Hey, Riccardo!
Hey, you deaf? - Z like…
Yes… - Old George said that
you were a strong Italian. Is that right?
Think you're pretty good, huh?
- One moment, please.
Give me your hand and put
that phone down. Go on, give!
Let's try out this strong Italian arm.
Come on!
Pull, man, pull! Man, you've got to
be kidding! Come on! - What do you want?
Get lost! - Next time, you go to a party
and try some of that Texas bourbon!
OK. Mr Mazzetti.
What? He's not in his room?
I need some shells.
Excuse me, is that an automatic?
- Uh, huh. There we go.
Chopper, ready! Pull!
Ah, fantastic! You really shot it!
Ah, thank you. It's nothing.
Would you like to have a shot?
Ah, no, really. I could never
shoot a poor creature with a gun.
I forgot, you're a sentimental Italian.
For me, it's like a sexual act.
It's very arousing.
There are other ways to be aroused, no?
And according to you, what should I do?
Remarry? - Why not? - Come on!
Last year, at a party,
I made a spectacular entrance!
I was on top of a pink elephant.
- Pink?
I was the hit of the party.
Very exciting.
But now I want to know all about you.
Have you had a busy life?
Rather quite.
- Well, it shows.
Here.
Here's you steak! Now don't you
be afraid to come back for more!
Thank you.
This steak for sure.
The underdeveloped areas
don't have any beef.
'Scuse me, Edith. They'd like to finish
discussing that business about the new well.
What business?
- It'll only take a short time, honey.
Oh, alright. What do they want?
More money?
Alright, I'm coming
- We'll get it over quickly.
Hold this. I'll be right back.
Now you eat that, boy!
Don't disappear.
We've much to talk about. Dear!
Out of my way, honey!
Yes, one moment!
Hey! What are you doing?
Leave him alone!
Leave him alone!
Hotel Hilton, NY, please? - Hey, Riccardo,
let's give it another try. - Him again!
New York, please. Hotel Hilton.
One moment.
New York, please! - You can call
that gal later! - I'll be right there.
Please… - I say that I can beat you again
Come on now. Let's get after it now. Try!
Fine.
You win. - Can I call now?
- Here you are. - Mr Mazzetti…
So long.
- Mr Mazzetti, please.
He's not in?
All bets on the table, gents. Let's get
the money on the table. Another 10 bucks.
10 dollars, for me.
No, this one! Yes.
Fine, but you cheated me so quickly!
I didn't even know what the game was. Eh!
Drink? Thank you.
Riccardo? What are you doing?
Running away?
No, I was in the saloon.
I was thinking maybe it was time I left.
But why?
Well… - You're my guest and you can't
leave, dear. Let's find a quiet spot.
Wealth…
… ruins everything even love.
- What's in this?
Orange and vodka.
Why do you do that?
- My husbands,
my husbands were interested
too much in my money.
Here. - For me?
- Suck it.
Love, on the other hand,
is beautiful when you're poor.
My first husband financed mythology.
The second one, on the other hand,
was a collector.
Here it all is.
However, you're quite different.
Tell me, Riccardo,
have you ever gone hungry?
Me?
In my whole life, I've never
met someone who went hungry.
Do you have any Chinese here?
Look, I…
Poor guy!
This part of the house was
designed by my second husband
who was jealous of what my first one did.
He preferred abstract art.
I prefer concrete things, like you.
Come on.
Hello!
- 'Scuse me, no understand English.
It's Riccardo. Riccardo Vanzi!
- Vanzi? But where are you?
Just guess.
- Guess? Are you drunk?
I'm nearby… in Texas!
And I'm having fun.
In Texas? What are you doing there?
You mad? - Doing? I'm getting married!
You've completely lost your mind!
Come back immediately to New York!
I'm never coming back!
The abuse you've handed out to me,
let's forget all about it.
Wait, wait! I'll put on my future wife!
- Hello?
Commendatore Ugly and Mean!
- Oh, yeah?
Tell your Riccardo, that with or without
him, I'm leaving on Wednesday.
And later in Magenta, he'll be brought to
account, not only with me but my brother!
Am I clear?
Come here. The Commendatore in New York…
He's waiting for me. You see?
How lovely!
I've know many men
but nobody like you.
No?
- I've had 3 husbands. You'll be the 4th.
Yes, let's drink. Let's drink champagne.
Cheers!
Don't stop talking.
You mustn't return to Italy.
- Oh, no.
What are you doing? Yes, yes, yes!
Your little foot on my ear!
I'm caressing you.
- Yes, more.
I don't want hear anymore about Italy
and Commendatore Mazzetti. How sad!
I love you, darling!
- Love…
Kiss me. Please, kiss me.
Bye! - So long!
- Bye!
Please! Where are the other guests?
The others? - I don't know.
They've done all flown off! - Mamma mia!
Thank you very much.
Hey! Wait for me!
Hey! Cowboy!
Thank you very much.
So long!
- Goodbye! Thank you!
I had a fine trip!
So much dust! Damn.
Better hurry.
- Hurry up, please.
Toby, did you know that I've
cracked up three times in an airplane?
No, not really.
Yes, well the first time, I wasn't
hurt at all. I wasn't even scratched.
The second time, we did hit an oil derrick.
- No! Is that right? - Yes! We did.
And I had to be taken to the hospital.
- Well! - I had three broken ribs.
But I had a marvelous time!
Everybody sent me flowers,
and all kind of goodwill things.
Oh, it was wonderful!
Excuse me, if you wisha to change, it's OK.
- Thank you. Thank you, very much.
Mamma mia!
Excuse me? - Yes?
- Can I have my drink, please? - Of course.
Well, the third time we cracked up,
I was with my son
and we cracked up right… well!
…on my own front yard! - That's alright.
And my husband was mowing the lawn
and he just merely said to the cook,
"Serve dinner!"
- Well! What do you know?
May I have your name, please?
- Ms Gardiner-Lance.
And your name?
- Ms Johnson.
Yours? - Riccardo Vanzi.
- Sorry? - V-A-N-Z-I.
Italian?
- Yes.
Would you like anything?
- No, thank you very much.
But… but you're Italian then?
Are you an Italian from Rome?
Yes, but not from Rome. Milan.
Yes, Milan.
I see… - Well, do you know
that the plane burned to the ground
and my dress was just ruined!
- Excuse me.
Excuse me.
- Where is he going?
Excuse me, Miss? - Yes?
- Are you really American? - Yes.
How come you speak Italian so well?
- Because my father is Sicilian. - Really?
But were you born here or there?
- Los Angeles.
No, I don't believe it. It's impossible.
You speak Italian too well.
I'm ready to bet on it.
- Why, does it matter? - Oh, no.
To speak Italian so well,
one must live there for 4 or 5 years.
It's true: You really are an American.
Well, I'm happy for you.
Excuse me.
- Listen,
I'm getting off at New York too.
Naturally, I don't know anyone.
I could, I don't know, if you didn't
like it, I'd be sorry, naturally,
invite myself to dinner?
Sure. But I'm not going to New York.
The plane changes crew at Dallas.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, do you know
the best restaurant in Dallas?
Crazy! Truly crazy!
- I ran a race, just to meet up with you.
Well, I wanted to go to New York,
and I wound up here with you.
What do you want? I like to embrace
the unexpected. - Ah, you Italians!
Don't misunderstand,
I'm not like any Italian guy you've known.
I'm different. May I?
- Thank you.
Undoubtedly, you lead an interesting life:
always traveling, meeting people, freedom.
Maybe you feel a bit lonely?
Don't you ever feel lonely? - No.
No? If that's so, pardon me.
Where are you sleeping tonight?
Does it matter?
You misunderstand me.
I mean you hostesses, after work is done,
where do you sleep? In a hotel?
- At Dallas, I have a small apartment.
Where does your family live?
- Los Angeles.
Ah, then you're completely free and alone.
Sorry, where's the cashier?
- Window 15. - Thank you.
It's such an unpleasant thing
to be without cash overseas.
Good morning. - Hello.
- Thank goodness, I have my checkbook.
Would you help us, please?
Can you change this, please? Thank you.
Sorry. This is an Italian check
and I can't help you.
I can't accept it.
Why isn't it good? The signature is
very good. It's from the Magenta Bank.
Look, it may be Italian but it's good.
It's very good check.
I don't understand.
- Don't you see?
I'm very sorry.
- Fine, check it. Call the Magenta.
Is it possible to call Magenta, Italy?
- No, I'm sorry.
Nice trust! I thank you.
- Thank you.
This is the first time,
that this has happened to me.
Shoot! This is all crap.
If I could get reimbursed
for this ticket to New York.
That won't be a problem. Let me
get it reimbursed. - At least for now.
Yes, of course, now then…
- I'll call my boss in New York later.
That's… that's exactly 55 dollars.
- Fine.
Let's do this: I have a ticket.
I'll have it reimbursed by the company.
I'll give the money to you.
- I couldn't accept. - Yes. - Thanks.
I'm still in a cold sweat! Now,
I can laugh but I almost had a breakdown.
Will you stay long in Dallas?
- I don't know. It depends on my errands.
Come. This ceiling is covered in pure gold.
Wipe your feet.
- OK. - Louise?
When did you get back?
- This morning.
You live together?
- Yes. I live with my coworker.
Don't come upstairs! - Don't worry,
I understand. I change and leave.
She just came back from
Montevideo and she's in bed.
Are we disturbing her?
- Heavens no. She's with her boyfriend.
Why don't you drink something?
- Sure but where? - Go check the kitchen.
There's nothing in the fridge.
But there is a smell…
What are these? Meatballs?
I just got hungry!
Hi.
- Hi.
You like to gamble?
Is he Mexican?
- No, Italian.
Hey, baby!
Hurry up with them hamburgers!
Don't look at her legs!
Know what we'll do?
Let's go to a restaurant. It'll be better.
Thank you.
You like it? - I haven't tasted it.
What is it? What do you call it?
Yours is a "White Angel".
- And yours? - A "Depraved Virgin."
What were you saying about your father?
- Nothing. I think he's still in Sicily.
Really?
Just imagine, when I came back home late,
like from a trip to Hawaii,
I'd find him sitting in his chair, waiting
for me for hours. - And your mother?
My mother doesn't matter.
And then? - Bless you.
- Nice aperitif… - But my father,
looks at me with eyes wide open
and with a terrible voice says,
"If you compromise yourself and
get pregnant, what would people say?"
Ah, prejudices!
The prejudices…
Your order, please?
I'll have this.
- For me, a teriyaki,
and also a portion of valimaki.
- Very good. - Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm so happy that I stayed with you.
- Me too.
What I appreciate about you Americans
is your lack of compromise.
This sense of honesty
in human relationships.
For example, what happened at your
house today… - What happened there?
Nothing. Your friend was
in bed with her boyfriend.
And you don't make any mystery of it.
Neither did she. - Why should we?
Why? Just think of two single girls
living together in an apartment in Italy!
There's my duck pie. I'm starved!
It's OK.
Weren't you very hungry?
- Oh, yes.
Then why are you eating that?
- I have to control myself. A diet.
I'd like to eat and eat but unfortunately,
fat. - You should see my father!
Would you let try a bite of the duck pie?
- Of course. - Just to taste it.
Thank you.
Oh, Sir! Your change.
That's correct: 47, 48, 49, 50.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
You're very kind.
Come.
Riccardo, come here. Look.
Look isn't it lovely here?
- Marvelous.
But I can't look down
because I get vertigo.
Where do we go now?
- I don't know. Wherever you want to.
You see that bright sign? - Which one?
- There. The biggest nightclub in Dallas.
Shall we go? - What about somewhere
smaller? - Let's go to the Passion Pit.
Passion Pit? - It's a drive in. We call it
the Passion Pit, La Fosse Della Passione.
Here's your water.
Here.
Do you have a headache, dear?
- No.
Come down here.
Pull it. Pull the lever.
Look! There's a holy Mass.
Look over there.
Yeah.
Just think I have to leave
already for Mexico City.
Of course, you should ask
leave to reschedule.
I understand that you're worried
but I'm ready to make reparations.
Reparations for what?
- Reparation for the wrong I did you.
I know I got carried away yesterday,
maybe I drunk too much.
But I'm ready to do my duty.
I've compromised you.
But it was very nice.
- Yes, it was true love.
But you're an honest girl and it's just
that I right this wrong. - What wrong?
Listen, darling…,
Look, we're celebrating the holy Mass.
It's a sign from destiny.
Louisa, I'll marry you.
Marry me? Why?
- Why? For what happened.
And I should get married
just because of that?
You're so naive.
- That's how I am! Sorry.
What happened last night is
important to me. - I don't get it.
What do you mean?
Your father is Sicilian.
Don't you have any sense of morality?
You see, dear, in America, there are
2 ways to love: "Make out" and "involved".
Involved is something serious,
a betrothal, ties.
Making out is what happened to us.
Just for kicks.
It's just a game.
And children?
What children?
- Is it just a game for them?
You may not realize it,
but a child may be born, don't you know?
Don't worry, dear.
Last night, I took the pill. Remember?
I see.
And I had remorse!
Forget it, I was wrong.
I thought you were an honest girl.
Instead, you're on the pill!
Holy cow!
Miss!
Please! But there is an error!
- Let me check it for you.
It's correct, Sir.
But what is this?
- That's the tax.
Taxes? Goddamn it!
Can I help you?
No, don't bother. It's not like
they'll call the police over a sandwich!
Go ahead, take it!
No, I can't accept.
Besides, it's only 25 cents.
- It's for tip, no?
Right. The tip.
Well… Thank you.
Are you crying?
- Go away.
Holy cow!
Yeah, I'm crying! So?
You see I'm a foreigner,
without a penny in the middle of America.
And I'm made to look bad.
I just don't know…
It's not even the money, you understand.
I hate to see a man cry.
Want me to help you?
If only!
Sorry, but how can you help me?
- Come with me to New Orleans.
No, it's too far for me.
At our school, we're all
young without any inhibitions.
We don't believe
in the old morality, you see.
Well, I think just the same way.
That's why I want to stay in America.
Europe is old.
Smile! It's the police.
If they stop us, say I'm your daughter.
You're my father!
Say, why should I've told
them I was your father?
You have to be 16 to drive.
You're not 16?
- 15.
And naturally, the car isn't yours!
You didn't steal it?
- Hey, it's a friend's!
Fine, the truth is that
I have a little marijuana.
What?
I have 2 kilos in my trunk for my club.
You understand now?
I gave you a ride, so the police
wouldn't stop me. Get it?
Yeah, "get it"!
Both of us will end up in jail!
Don't you know that marijuana
is a drug like cocaine?
Don't act the martyr!
- Martyr! Oh, God, it's them.
This is my baby!
I'm Daddy! My daughter!
See? They passed us by.
You just earned yourself 100 dollars!
Why? Why do you make me wear this shirt?
- You stand out. So you won't be noticed.
Try this one, go on. - If you don't give
me the 100 dollars, I'm leaving.
I'll give it to you after. OK?
There.
- It doesn't suit me. Forget about it.
But…
- Hey! You've seen Johnny?
Yeah, over there.
- Come on!
Hey man, where's Johnny?
- I haven't seen him.
Holy cow! Don't draw attention.
The police are here. - Don't sweat it.
Johnny! I've been looking all over for you!
Hey, you! Out of the way!
- Shut him off! Come on, Cobra Man!
Aren't the Drakes wild?
Take this purse. Go, man!
Go, Johnny! Go!
He won!
You did it! You won!
You did it! You're wonderful!
You've won! You've won! You've won!
Give it to Johnny's girl.
- Oh, sure. - Thank you.
It's mine!
- Holy cow! What is this?
I was first.
- Excuse me.
Oh, my God!
- Dropping everything! - Please.
It's my fault.
- Of course, it's not your fault.
I was clumsy. - May I help you?
- No, really. - Please.
It's not necessary.
- But…
No. Thank you.
- I insist!
I have to go!
- I want to help.
That's all I need!
- Where are you going?
Very nice. In your new clothes, you look
very elegant. - Thank you very much.
Lovely.
- This place is fantastic.
Wonderful! - Why?
- These big stores, you can buy anything.
For example a hat, an overcoat…,
- Be careful! - …a tie, a very nice shirt.
Just for 5 dollars.
Now, I understand. I imagined
you were Italian. Isn't that right?
Really? Yes, it's true.
But how could you tell?
I took advantage of a small accident to
play the parrot. Is that how you say it?
Yes, but in Italy, there are many kinds
of "pappagali" (also means wolf whistlers).
I was two years in Italy.
In 1958, in Verona.
With my husband, who was in the army.
Your husband?
- Yes, he was in NATO.
Then you're married?
- No, I'm divorced.
For two years.
- Ah, thank goodness!
And then?
- Now I have my work.
My two children.
They keep me company. I like it like that.
Better than a wrong marriage.
Right. - Besides, it's not easy to get
married at my age with two kids.
I understand.
Are you Catholic?
- No, Baptist.
Here we are, we've arrived home.
I'll get the packages.
- Thank you. I take it!
You live here? - Yes.
- Ah, very nice.
I like American neighborhoods:
these lawns all the same,
these small houses all the same,
these children all the same…
This is the most American part of the city.
New Orleans is much more European.
Really?
- Have you ever been to Paris? - Well…
I'd love to go there.
- Me too.
You know I'm half French?
I'm going to get my other girl.
But your nationality is American, right?
- Yes. Born in America.
My grandparents were French.
- Come on.
What's your name? - Richard.
- Can I call you Ricky? - Oh, yes.
Come on.
Yes. Yes! Pretty little baby.
Please, fall asleep. OK?
I'm a little worried, eh?
I'm left my partner in New York,
and I've been all over America.
- Do you like this country?
Ah, very much. I've been playing
with the idea of settling here.
What is this girl doing?
- But, changing your life isn't easy.
Why? My poor nose, please!
Come on, it's time for you to go
to sleep now! Let's drink your milk.
Here. You're worse than a child.
- Evidently.
Thank you.
They tied my legs too.
So what do you think?
Should I stay in America? - It depends.
If you're not leaving
behind something important.
No, please! Only some friends and
talking about soccer and cars.
It's a shame you never married.
- Why?
Because I think you'd make a good father.
And not a good husband?
That I don't know.
That's harder to understand.
Ricky! Ricky!
Aren't you going to sleep?
- Oh, sure.
Night.
- Good night.
What are you doing? You hungry?
I was looking in the fridge, excuse me.
This is baby food.
- Ah, that's why it tasted strange.
But it's not bad. Tastes like
sweet pumpkin. - No, it's carrot.
Carrot? Carrot tastes like pumpkin?
What does pumpkin taste like?
Like apples.
- Really?
And the apples?
- Like pumpkin.
I'll make you two eggs.
- What are you talking about?
I don't want to bother you. - You were
a good nanny, you deserve dinner.
Ah, no, I won't accept this.
But, if you insist…
Yes.
- Thank you.
Alright, fine. I've a confession to make:
The last half hour, I've been trying to
think of a way to invite you out to eat.
But I'd rather stay here with you.
- Don't commit. First eat, then tell me.
For me, dinner would be enough.
It's too bad that you've already
been married. - How come?
Because… because you seem to me
a woman well worth marrying.
Don't you find this show interesting?
- Oh, yes.
But I find you more interesting.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
I can't make out a word they're saying.
That's because they're speaking in slang,
not American. - It's all Greek to me!
It's very funny!
- It makes you laugh? - Yes.
Perhaps… - Don't you think
that you'll be late for your train?
I forgot all about it.
- I'll go get you a taxi.
Hello?
Can you send a taxi, please?
Maybe I can get a train tomorrow.
Certainly, there's nobody there.
37 Ithaca Street.
Thank you.
Well, thanks for everything.
If by any chance, I miss the train,
can I see you again?
No, it's better you don't.
- Can I at least call you?
Thank you.
Goodbye.
The Tiffany Club! Perfect strip fest!
Plenty of room! Plenty of drinks!
And we have Miss Baby Ruth,
direct from Las Vegas!
Come in and see what you're missing!
Right here at the Tiffany Club!
Let's hear it for, Sandy,
our swinging stripper!
Come on, let's put
those hands to work, boys!
Next chick here is Little Orphan Annie.
Now let's let her know that we like her!
And let's hear it for Miss Sandy Lee.
Get ready for the action here!
Got plenty of room!
What a night: The Boom Boom Girl,
she brings on the heatwave!
Gotta see it to believe it, gents,
come on inside!
You again?
Yes. May I come in?
- Yes.
Then you missed your train?
- Yes, I missed my train.
But I did it on purpose.
- I don't understand.
May I sit down?
- Please do.
I'll take off my jacket.
It's better I speak all at once,
so I won't think about it.
Now then, I came to America with
the firm intention of marrying an American:
beautiful or ugly, young or old.
It didn't matter how.
What mattered was getting a green card.
That's why, when I got here,
everytime I met a woman
it became an obsession to marry her.
Without considering if I liked her or not.
I acted in bad faith.
Even with me?
No. Not with you.
And that's the point.
But, don't you realize I'm gambling with
my career? My partner waits for me in NY.
More of a boss than a partner…
And why all this?
Because I'm in love. For real.
I know it was unforeseen.
Besides, tomorrow I leave
and you'll never see me again.
Maybe I also wanted to find
out if you had regrets.
Yes, I had regrets.
- Then, I'll stay!
Then you're really crazy.
What can I do?
I can't just up and decide.
I have kids, a house,
you're a stranger, you come, you go!
What happened in one hour,
doesn't happen in a year!
I can see that deep down
you want me to stay. - I don't know.
I was at peace for two years alone,
without any problems. You come and…
So? If you have faith in me,
I'm ready to legalize your position.
- No, one can't decide that in one day.
Why can't one decide?
- I don't feel sure of myself.
I have need of affection, warmth.
Now, I'm a little tired,
it's better to go to sleep.
And where will I sleep?
There are only two beds.
And it's better you go with the girls.
Good night.
Think it over, dear.
I've already made up my mind.
It's good to see so many faces here.
Dear brothers and sisters,
in Jesus Christ our Lord,
today I want to emphasize
the importance of the family unit.
With the rise in divorce rates…
- Be good, don't touch the coins.
…and wives remember
their sacred marriage vows.
For it is the children, those small ones
who suffer for their parents' indiscretions.
Now hold on to my hand.
- Come on, come on.
What are we doing? Going home or…?
- I don't know.
I don't know but if you want we can go
to the zoo? - No, it's better we go home.
It's really better.
- OK.
Come on. Be careful when
you're crossing the street. Hold my hand.
Come on. - Now, hold on.
- Watch out for the cars.
Come on.
- Lisa!
Go inside.
- We're home.
You girls go in the garden.
- And when he comes, shall you speak or me?
No, it's better I speak.
Besides, it was my idea, right?
But don't you think…?
- No, I'll speak.
Daddy! Daddy, when did you get here?
- What? - What are you doing here?
Is he already here?
- I don't know.
He has the keys?
Oh, hi! I wanted to surprise the children,
so I jumped the fence.
Hey, you're looking great.
- I looked for you in church.
Hi! You're Riccardo?
- Yes.
A pleasure.
- The pleasure's all mine.
Carol has spoken a lot about you.
- Daddy. - OK, OK! - Daddy!
Come on and finish fixing the swing.
- Would you get the tools, please?
OK, right away. - C'mon!
- OK, I'm coming.
OK, Lisa, I'll swing you.
Just be quiet.
Any pliers? - What do you think of him?
- Rather nice. Look, that must be them.
Maybe… - It's heavy.
- Maybe a bit superficial.
Oh, no. He's simple, quiet.
Exactly, a bit childish. - But…
- Here it is. - Yes.
And then I didn't like what he did.
He made me feel inferior. - Why?
Why? Because he just had
to give them a swing today?
What can I give them now? A rollercoaster?
Anyway, I'll have a talk with him.
Say, Riccardo, when is the happy day?
- Huh?
Well, this is not the best place to talk.
- Sure. - Let's go for a walk.
I wanted to thank you because
you are very understanding.
I understand that your situation is
a little embarrassing. - How?
Because it can't be
a pleasant thing to find out
that your own wife is going with another.
But we're divorced.
- Of course! But…
Anyway, it's all for the best, eh!
Don't worry about the girls.
They'll never want for affection.
Let's go drink.
What are you doing? - Oh, nothing.
Just talking about this and that. Thanks.
Cheers!
- Here's to you.
We were just saying that nothing can be
said against the girls remaining with us.
Well, you can come visit,
I can't say everyday but maybe once a week.
I trust Carol.
If Carol trusts it, I'm fine. OK?
OK, OK!
It's a great weight off my shoulders.
Listen, shall we celebrate the event?
- OK. But I need to prepare something.
No, no need. Leave it to me.
I'll make you two a spaghetti to die for.
Do you have an apron? - Yes.
- Spaghetti too? - Yes.
Crushed tomatoes? Then, we're all set!
- You're fantastic!
Too bad, it's not our cheese.
This is rather weak.
Know what I'll do? - I'll make up for it
with pepper and don't you worry about it.
This is burning!
- I said that I'll do the cooking!
Please, don't mess me up. Go inside
and prepare the table. Excuse me.
You know what this is called?
Spaghetti alla carbonara.
Very easy with raw spices.
Put one egg for each person, so that
for every two yolks, one egg white.
Looks terrific! Hey, what a good cook!
- Of course.
Shall we put a little mustard?
- Are you crazy?
If I listened to you, dear, who knows
what would come out in place of the pasta.
Come here.
Excuse me, eh?
I want to tell you a secret. It's strange
but in Italy a woman like that:
serious, young, beautiful, who works,
and at the same time preserves
her femininity, where can I find that?
Look at her!
Beautiful and dignified.
- I never thought about that.
You should have, my friend!
See, it's easy for a foreigner to discover
the many qualities of an American woman.
Let me tell you, since I'm older, but
you don't find a woman like that every day.
What do you think? I'll make the same
mistakes you Americans make? No!
You know what I'll do?
Make her become Catholic and marry in
church. This way, there'll be no divorce.
Taste this with the pepper. How is it?
Very good. Great.
- I can throw it in? - Yes. - Thanks.
Good.
Done.
Where's the can opener? Where? There.
When I see Sofia, I am stunned…
- Not that way, stupid!
Like this!
You can't do anything.
- But I don't know this stupid machine.
Mother doesn't dirty so many dishes.
How come you make such a mess?
There. A little bit of bacon!
How does she do it? How?
When I see Sofia, I'm stunned…
Your shop speaks!
Come to the table! The food's ready!
Hey! To the table!
Come to the table!
It's been so long.
- I'd almost forgotten.
Carol?
- It's Carlo.
What do we do? - Go see!
- Carol! - Hurry.
It's ready.
I'm sorry, Richard.
Really, Richard, I'm sorry.
Please, try to understand.
It's better you leave.
- But the pasta?
And… thank you so much, Riccardo.
Ricky!
Don't forget your bag.
Let's get the car closed up.
We're almost in New York.
Next stop, Trenton, New Jersey.
Last stop before Grand Central Station NY.
'Scuse me, how far is New York?
- About 50 miles, an hour by train.
Thank you very much.
Hello? Hello?
Hello? Carlo?
I should smash your face in.
Yes, because you don't desert a friend!
What? You left me in the middle of America!
What were you doing?
Of course, I gotta leave tomorrow morning.
Eh! What?
Who did you find? - Yes, I found the right
one for you! Write down her address.
5th Avenue, on the corner of 14th Street,
51st floor.
And if they won't let you in,
give them the password: Green Rabbit.
Fine, I'll be right there.
Hello? Green Rabbit.
- What's your name?
Riccardo Vanzi. - What?
- Riccardo Vanzi. - Wipe your feet.
I already did.
- Come in. Your jacket.
Thank you.
And then this old cat took me to Las Vegas
and he gave me 500 dollars besides.
How about that? - Say, could I
borrow a 100 dollars? I'm sorta uptight.
But you still owe me 200 from last time!
- Don't be difficult.
Hey, old man! Rascal, come here!
- Ah, there he is.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Come, sit down next to me.
May I present the "corpse".
- Eh? Hello.
She doesn't understand much.
- Sorry. Come here.
Are they all gangsters here? - Don't say
that. They're all friends. Very nice.
Fine, show me the lady and
we'll say no more. - Very easy!
Take a whore, marry her and
she'll be thankful. - A whore?
We've come to this… - Come, don't worry.
I'll introduce you to the marchigiano. Bob!
A pleasure.
- Good evening. Green rabbit. - Yes.
Come, he'll show you where to go.
I'll see you later, Riccardo.
- I'll give you a nice glass of champagne.
You like champagne?
- Yes.
Thank you. - You like the apartment?
- Very nice.
I'll show you the divan. It's 17 meters
long and cost 20 million. You like it?
This one?
- Feel it, it's smooth.
It's all kangaroo.
How do you say that in Italian?
Kangaroo.
- I forgot. Look at this.
You like it? You recognize her?
She laughs and cries.
You like it? Does it excite you?
- Ah, Marilyn Monroe. - Yes, come.
Here, you smoke marijuana?
You like it? - No, thank you.
Look, there's a piano in the bar.
Look, come here.
Want to sing? Play?
- No, I can't play. - No? Nor can I.
What's his name?
- Riccardo. - OK.
Say, would that be the girl?
- Yes, that's her.
You sure? - Go without worries.
- I'll take her.
I've laid the groundwork.
- In there? - Of course!
Can I go in the bedroom?
- Yes. - Thanks. I'm going.
Wait a moment.
Remember the 50,000 lire? - Yes?
I'm paying you back.
It's Marilyn Monroe.
- Lovely.
Hi, you're Riccardo, right?
Carlo has talked a lot about you.
Come on.
You wanted to tell me something important?
I want to marry you.
What?
Look, I'm not a rich man.
But I can give you a house,
a family and an honorable name.
You understand?
I understand. You're very kind.
And I thank you.
I've been a call girl for a year
but I have my own schedule.
I'll do it for two more years and when
I have 10,000 dollars, I'll go to college.
And then to California.
I know a young man there.
Young and very rich.
I'll marry him. And he'll give me a fine
house, a large pool and lovely children.
Bye.
So long.
Thank you.
Air France wishes to announce that
Flight 726 departing for Nice and Milan,
is now boarding at Gate 13.
Air France wishes to announce that
Flight 726 departing for Nice and Milan.
The passengers are asked to
present themselves at Gate 13.
English subtitles by sineintegral@KG