La guerra de papá (1977) - full transcript
Spain, March 1964: Quico is a very naughty child of three belonging to a wealthy middle-class family. Since Cristina's birth, he feels he has lost the privileged position of "prince" of the house for his eight months old sister. So, with his brother Juan, who is eight years old and is quite disobedient, spend their time committing prank after prank, causing the resulting anger of his mother, the nanny and the old housemaid. The rest of the family members are two much older brothers, his resigned mother and a retrograde father of authoritarian ideas. But many years have passed, and the civil war that won the despot Don Pablo is simply for their children "Dad's war".
DADDY'S WAR
One day in March 1964.
That fat cock...
I already woke up!
I really already woke up!
Let's see who this child is who screams like that, hmm?
Hey, the child's not there! Who could have taken him?
Oh, oh, oh, God, God! Where will this kid have gotten to?
May someone have kidnapped him from me?
-Vito!
-Where are you? Where are you?
Vito!
Vito!
Mean guy! Where were you?
I was tucked under the blanket, under there.
You're so mean!
Wow, could it be possible? You haven't peed the crib!
No. Feel.
Lady, Quico is a youth already. He didn't pee his bed.
Hey, what've you got there? What's this crap?
It's not crap, it's a cannon.
A cannon, I'll crack up, a cannon!
But, what the hell for would you possibly want a cannon for?
-To go to Daddy's war.
-To war!
What a demon of a child! Such weird things he thinks of!
-It burns!
-It doesn't burn nor anything else, come on.
-Look at my dick.
-That's not to be touched. Do you hear me?
The Holy Dick.
What nonsense is that child spouting?
What do I know? Now he's taken to that!
-Someone must be teaching it to him.
-Come on, what a...!
I think it's because of the prayers. The kid heard about the Holy Spirit, and you see, he can't tell the difference.
Cris doesn't have a dick, right?
No.
And what about you? Do you have dick?
Me neither. Only boys have this thing.
So Dad doesn't have a dick, either?
It hurts! It hurts, you're hurting me, Vito!
If you don't cry, I'll take you downstairs so we can go get the milk together.
Ah! But isn't this Mr. Infante from Tapiosa's baby girl?
Yes, Miss, but he's male.
Ah, ah! Of course, at that age!
And since you see he so blond, and with those eyes...!
Will you give me a little lollipop, handsome?
Shit, messed in shit, asshole!
Oh, that's too bad!
Good children don't say those things.
Ignore him. He's been in a snit ever since his little sister was born.
-And this, what number is he?
-This one's the fifth.
Let's go now, Vito!
And they say there is no bad fifth child, you see.
So they say.
How awful!
I'm going to tell your mother, just so you know.
Do you think that was the right way to answer a lady?
Vito is too good,...
but one day she'll get tired and not love you anymore.
Was that a sin, Vito?
Sin? And a very big one.
If the demons catch you now, they won't stop until you're in hell.
Good morning, Loren.
Good morning, son. Did you know that the cat's dead?
-Has Moro died?
-Yeah, look.
And what's killed Moro?
For the same reason everyone dies, son, because his time came.
Your lady should be very upset.
You figure! She even wanted us to go to the park to bury him, last night, and everything else!
Yes, ma'am --- I said to her --- and then we take a dirge. Am I clear enough?
Will Moro go to hell, too?
Cats don't go to heaven or hell, for your information.
But even if it's black!?
Even though it's black. Cats end up in the trash bin and that's that.
Come on, get in.
Juan, Moro is dead. Want to see?
You'll have it hard for your boldness, infidel dogs! Meow, meow!
Look.
-Give the girl breakfast.
-Yes, ma'am.
Meow!
Oh, that boy is enfeebled! It shows.
With the injections he'll get better.
And tomorrow he'll go to school, since the fever was gone yesterday. Right, Juan?
I don't want to. I don't feel like it. Jackal!
-Meow!
-Quico!
-Meow!
-Hey, Quico!
Fuck off!
Meow!
-Come on, to breakfast.
-No.
I don't like it!
My child is going to eat it all.
-Come on, come on.
-I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it!
Well, I don't care.
Dedicated to Genuine Alvarez, for having been assigned to Africa, from whom he knows,...
you're hearing Juanito Valderrama in "The Emigrant".
No big deal, Vito.
It's that I can't get it out of my head, ma'am.
Every time I think that only five percent of them are assigned to Africa, and just him was assigned...
Woman, someone had to go.
That's what I say, someone.
But why all the evil in the world have to touch one girl?
There are more people in the world!
Meow!
And you, drop the tube and eat. What a brat, by God!
It's not a tube, it's a plane.
What about Paqui's boyfriend?
Who, the Abelardo? Oh, mother! That one was born standing up, I say!
I don't know how that girl manages so that things seem to come out right.
On Saturday she was awarded the free lottery ticket, the draw's on Monday, and her boyfriend is assigned to stay here. What do you make of this?
-Tata.
-Cris said potato, Mom!
Come on, Quico, eat!
I don't like this, it's disgusting!
Bring it here. You're acting like a little boy.
I'm not small.
Yes, a little guy, that's you!
I'm not a shrimp.
Then eat, and you'll get big as your dad, otherwise...
What I say, madam: some are born with luck, and Paquita is one of those.
After all, Vito, going to Africa isn't a disgrace.
Depends on how you look at it. Paqui, you see,...
She now brags that Eufemio may well get engaged to a black girl there. Here. A little bit!
I don't like it.
Nonsense.
And the same goes for Abelardo, you can expect whatever from black people now.
-Here, take a little.
-No.
Nonsense, Vito, nonsense.
And now my daughter is to go to sleep. Isn't that right? To sleep!
-One for Mom...How nice!
-I don't like this, I don't want it!
-One for Vito...
-No more, Vito.
One for Vito...You don't get up until you eat all that. Clear?
-Come here, Juan!
-I don't want any, I'm better now!
Don't exhaust my patience, Juan! Get out from under the bed!
-I don't feel like it!
-Get out!
I said get out!
Hey, Juan, Longinos came by and he has a needle this big to stab the injection into you.
-V?tora! Don't cry, my life.
-You called, my lady?
Take the girl and tell the practitioner to come, let's get this done at once.
Juan, get out here or I'll take out the broom!
Don't, Mom, no, please!
-I told you to get out!
-I told you I'm already healed!
-Come on!
-I'm all right, it's going to hurt a lot!
-I'll give you a spanking.
-No, no, Mom, no!
Child! Will you stay still?
Don't act like a donkey! Here!
Not me, huh? Not me, huh?
Be warned, I'll spank you!
-Oh!
-There.
Stay still right now!
-Go on! Keep still!
-Ay, ay, ay, ay!
-Please be still!
-No, no, no!
-You'll hurt yourself.
-But it's nothing!
-Be still.
-It's nothing, you'll see.
-Ay, ay, ay, ay!
-Juan!
It'll just take a second.
That's it. See?
There we go!
-Mom!
-Well. It's all over.
Tomorrow at the same time.
No, the child'll go to school. It should rather be in the afternoon from after two. Goodbye, good afternoon.
Paper.
There!
And more paper.
More.
Vito, it's jammed!
Christ, now what?! They'll spank you!
Vito!
Ow, I'll be buggered!
Hello. Is your mom in?
Your mom already knows what you did with the roll.
And you could have come up later, smart guy, look what time it is.
I don't use a wristwatch.
Then I'll tell your boss to sell one to you. Wouldn't you like it? Just see this guy!
Hey, just in case you don't know: I've never sent anyone to Africa.
Shut up or I'll clobber you so that you'll remember Vito for the rest of your life.
Such predisposition!
What are you looking at, you bastard?
Nothing. Staring at Segovia.
Really? Is Segovia in sight?
You don't go to school?
No, kid, I don't attend school.
-Is it because you're sick?
-Sick, me? I'm as healthy as God.
-Go, wash, and may you get wrecked.
-Oh! So little do you love me?
I have no feelings for you one way or the other, for your information.
I did you a favor. What about you?
I'll break his nose...God knows what I'll do to him!
The hell, Quico, what are you doing?
Nothing. Staring at Segovia.
Listen to this brat! I don't believe this!
Has Domi shown up yet?
As you see.
-But isn't it after 12?
-Oh, the clock chimed 12 o'clock a long while ago.
Have they brought everything upstairs?
Let's see.
Ow, I'll be buggered!
What did you say?
Ow, I'll be buggered!
Don't say things like that, it's a great sin!
What's with this guy! Who teaches him this crap?
That's what I say: who teaches these things.
If you're implying it's me, ma'am, you're wrong.
Juan, look how I smoke. Watch.
Beat it, pig, then your mom says that you learn that from me.
# Real affection can't be bought or sold,...
# Not be bought or sold. No money in the world could buy what you sell. #
-Is that Femio, Vito?
-Who, son?
That, the one singing.
No, my boy, but it's as if it were.
Go open that, it'll be Domi.
-She told me to!
-And me, too!
Say, "Good morning, Domi".
-Good morning, Domi.
-Good morning, Domi.
Good morning.
Mom, Domi's here!
What a dog of a day!
Where's the dog, Domi?
Come away from there. What's with this guy! He doesn't leave us alone either in sun or shade.
Is she in a bad mood?
Let's see...At 12, she asked about you.
Where's the fly, Domi?
Come on, shut up, you!
Is something wrong, Domi?
What can I say, ma'am?
The usual.
Hand me this dear girl!
Has he been locked up?
I wish.
But you see, there's not enough room.
There's not enough room?
My Pepe says that even to be admitted into a madhouse you need a sponsor.
Domi, today I didn't pee in the bed.
Mother, what a boy!
Don't worry, I'll speak to my husband. Maybe he can do something, right?
May God reward you!
Put some milk on the stove, you.
"Milk" is a sin, right, Vito?
Look at this! Is there nothing that can shut his mouth?
Look.
Let's make a fire.
-We're making a fire, aren't we, Juan?
-Yes.
Oh!
Hell!
Is that hell?
It's like that, only bigger.
The devil!
Didn't you see the devil jump, Quico?
No.
-Does the devil have wings?
-Sure.
-And horns?
-Yes.
-And a tail?
-That, too, with a spike on the tip.
And a dick?
That I don't know.
If you say nothing to nobody, I'll show you something.
It's a secret, and you have to swear this way.
-What are you going to show me, Juan?
-Shut up!
Don't you know how to open the lock, Juan?
If you keep talking I won't show it to you.
-What are you going to show me, Juan?
-Shut up!
It's Domi.
Quiet.
Look. Look, Quico.
It's Dad's gun. You like it?
Yes.
See how cold it is.
Yes, it's very cold!
Who's there?
Well done, hide.
Not here, you idiot!
Shitty kids!
It had to be you!
-Get out of here!
-Run, come on!
Hey, a pin!
Mommy, Mommy, look what I found!
What are you doing here? Can't you see you're going to catch a chill?
Here it is.
Very well. You've been very good. Fine, now go on.
If I didn't bring it to you then Cris would swallow it, right, Mom?
Sure, son. Now go on.
And she'd die, right, Mom?
Yes, she'd die! Domi!
Like Moor, right, Mom?
Do you want to get out of here at once?
You called, my lady??
Yes. Take this kid, please.
Yes, ma'am.
Let's go.
You and your brother, you brother and you, you're Barabbas' skin. That's what you are.
Go on, go play in the room.
-Want to see a rainbow?
-Yes.
Come on.
-Isn't it beautiful, Juan?
-Yes, it's nice.
-Let's see the angel.
-OK.
-The angel is nice, eh, Juan?
-It's the witch. Waaa!
She is an angel, Juan!
It's not an angel, it's a demon, don't you see? Waaa!
I don't want it to be a demon, Juan!
Don't you see the wings and horns, he's flying very fast? Waaa!
And he's furious, look at him! He's the devil coming to take you to hell by the hair!
No, Juan!
No, Juan!
And look, look at the witch, look at her!
No more! No more!
There's a witch and a demon, Domi, he'll take me to hell by the hair!
Don't start with your nonsense, you're very prone to nonsense!
Move, outside. Walk.
Why did they close the window to play?
Come on, daughter.
How heavy you're getting!
Untie me from the fort, Juan.
I will, and then we'll smoke the peace pipe, vulture eye.
What pipe, Juan?
Get out now, paleface.
The gas station.
There.
That's it.
Here we go.
Here.
That's it.
Oh, hardly any gasoline comes out!
More...
The gas station!
More gas, more gas!
Lady!
You'll see what you'll get when your mom gets to see this!
The gas station...
You'll see how she'll heat you! Lady, lady!
No one can handle him. Look the mess he made of himself and of everything.
It's the gas station...
I'm fed up with children!
I can't stand it anymore! You've made a mess of yourself!
-Leave it to me, I'll get it!
-I'll open it myself.
-Did you bring me my stickers?
-Always the same song! No!
How about this monkey, eh? What's this monkey up to?
-Shit, messed in shit, asshole!
-Wow, this child is angry.
-Mom hit me.
-Wow, how they've warmed him up!
-Because he pissed himself?
-No way!
-I didn't pee in the bed.
-Yes, it's true, he didn't.
-I'll get it!
-Me, me!
-Hello, dwarves.
-Hello.
-Marcos, the cat is dead.
-Oh, really? One cat less.
And Loren threw it in the trash bin, and the devil took him to hell, and Juan and I...
-Pablo hasn't come?
-Yes, Pablo came. Oh!
Sure, you little nest-shitter!
Gallop, yippy! Come on!
Pablo, please, can you explain this? I don't understand a word.
Girl, won't you even let me enter the house?
-Do you have any more stickers?
-Merche didn't bring any.
-Let's see, what don't you understand?
-This, look.
Let's see! Oh!
Oh, how disgusting!
Why don't you ask? Speak up!
-Cris has pooped.
-Get out of here, pig. Domi!
Where's this baby?
Vito, Cris has pooped in her panties!
You see what a sow she is.
-Who is it?
-Mom!
What do you want?
Mom, open!
No. What do you want?
Cris has pooped in her panties!
-Diarrhea?
-I don't know.
Tell Domi, son.
The pot!
Why didn't you ask? Speak up!
Come on, you shut up, you have no reason to brag!
Quico, go see your dad, I think he's come home.
Hey, Dad!
Today I didn't pee in the bed.
Hello, Quico! What have you got to say?
Cris has pooped in her panties.
Yeah, eh?
And Moro is dead and the demons will go take him to hell.
So much news together that I don't have time to digest it all.
Hello. Is there a belt of scotch for a thirsty gent?
Pour a "glass", my love. Do me a favor, fill it.
-Do you have a dick, Dad?
-Push off!
-I asked if you have a dick!
-Come on! Would you please get out of here?
-Show me!
-Quico, come on!
Beat it! Don't you hear me?
-Let's see.
-Get out!
Fuck, this way I can't see it!
Let's see it!
-Let me see, Dad!
-Go away! Didn't you hear me?
Do you have dick?
That's not for staring at. You know?
-But you, is it that you don't have a dick?
-That's no concern of children.
Mom says you don't have a dick.
What did you say?
Go, go, go!
What nonsense are you telling the child, whether or not I have a dick?
If you close your bathroom door these things wouldn't happen to you.
Have you ever heard such nonsense!
-Go.
-Dwarfs' table!
Come, bring the cushion.
I don't understand, really.
-Do you think that we're like dwarfs?
-Yes, son, yes.
In this house we'll continue as lifelong Dwarves.
Dad, the history teacher told us...
that if the bomb that American plane dropped blew up...
our bodies would be like sponges. Is it true?
Sister Teresa says that atomic bombs victims look like cork.
And what does a nun know?
Yes, all they hear are bells.
In fact, the victims of the atomic bombs would become something like pumice.
Hand me the bread.
Children, can't you change the subject? How dreadful!
Hello, Vito!
You know that Dorita Diosdado is finally getting married? We've received an invitation.
With that ragamuffin?
What's a "ragamuffin", Mom?
A man without a job or prospects.
They love each other and that's enough.
You know what my poor father said, and he was quite right.
What did he say, Dad?
He said that women are like chickens,...
if you throw them corn, they'll bite the shit.
Eat. This guy is getting up my nose.
Say goodbye to Dad and Mom, girl. Say goodbye.
Don't remove her pants to put her to bed, Domi, the little girl's a little loose.
Yes, ma'am.
I have to do an essay on the UN and the Congo.
There's no way to make him eat.
That thing on the UN can't be easier!
Yes, yes, easy!
Let him! It's crazy to force him.
When he's hungry he'll ask for some.
And if he doesn't feel it, just let him die. Right? How convenient is that!?
Men always try to find the easy way out.
The Congo is like Mom and Dad:...
if we fight, they separate us,...
but if they fight, you have to let them do it.
-Do Mom and Dad beat each other?
-Come on, swallow at once!
Shit!
Don't say that! Do you hear me?
Shit!
Didn't you hear me? Shut up, or I'll give you a whack.
Yuck! Yuck!
-It's a cannon, right, Mom?
-Yes, it's a cannon, but you eat.
-You don't want me to make of it a food ball in my mouth, right, Mom?
-No, I don't. Eat.
If I eat I'll get big and go to school like Juan. Right, Mom?
I just can't wait for that day.
And when I go to school the food won't turn into a ball in my mouth, right, Mom?
"Right, Mom? Right, Mom?"! Swallow!
Right, Mom, you don't like me to say "Right, Mom?"? Right, Mom?
Go on, eat on your own.
No, with the other hand, this way!
You're choking his personality.
Yes, right? Why don't you come feed him?
You know what my poor father said about lefties?
I neither know nor do I care.
My poor father said that a left-hander is a left-hander because he's more big-hearted than the right-handed...
but righties correct them because they won't tolerate them being more big-hearted than them.
-That's what he said.
-Very interesting.
The Friar said that writing with the left is sin.
What nonsense!
I forgot, Pablo: Sunday, they're handing out your badges.
At 11 in the stadium.
It will be a grand event, you'll see.
Is something wrong?
Didn't it occur to you to ask him before setting this up if he wants to do it...
whether his ideas coincide with yours?
Pablo's already 16 years old.
Ideas? His ideas, if any, should be like mine, I say.
Besides, this isn't so much a question of ideas as of business.
Tell us about the war, Dad.
See? These are something else.
And what do you want me to tell you?
It was a holy cause.
Or wasn't it?
You should know this better than anyone.
These things are usually what we want them to be.
I have a cannon. Ping, ping, ping, pang, pang! Ping, Pang!
Were you with the good guys, Dad?
Naturally. Or am I a bad guy, maybe?
-I want to go to war.
-You don't know.
That's easy.
In war there are only two concerns:...
killing and not getting killed.
Very sobering.
Make some orange juice for the child.
The bad thing is the peace,...
the phone, the bourse, visits,...
command responsibility, labor trouble,...
And you? What do you think of all this?
Don't you have a tongue?
Don't you know how to say "Yes" or "No", "I like this", or "I don't like this"?
Did you kill many bad guys, Dad?
You've preached to him about this, right?
Tell us, Dad.
Lots.
Have you brainwashed him?
You well know I won't mess in this matter.
More than 100?
More.
But I happen to think that maybe Pablo believes it's more beautiful not to prolong this state of war any longer.
Could it be that that's your thought?
Maybe.
This would not have happened if we had shut your father's mouth for good in time...
instead of being so tolerant. The hell with this stupid woman!
Yesterday I didn't study anything. I have such bad luck that they'll surely call on me.
Neither did I.
-Goodbye, Daddy.
-Goodbye.
Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye, Mom.
-Goodbye, Merche.
-Dad, I'll attend, next Sunday.
-Fair enough.
-Shall I bring some milk, ma'am?
-No thanks, V?tora.
Mom.
What do you want?
The Vito said "milk".
In this house there are many who say things of dubious taste.
Then we wonder why children say things they shouldn't.
Would you put a song in turntable for me, Dad?
Even more songs?
You think we haven't yet heard enough songs?
Look, Quico, in this world everyone plays his own song,...
and whoever doesn't play it gets wrecked. Do you understand?
But that's not what's bad, son.
What's bad is when you don't have your own song to play,...
and you settle down by repeating like a parrot the song you've heard your whole life.
Do you understand?
Quico, my son, if in this life before you see the speck in your neighbor's eye rather than the beam in your own, you will be miserable.
The first thing to learn in this world is to be impartial, and the second, to be understanding.
There are men who believe they represent virtue,...
and anything that deviates from their set of ideas...
encroaches on sacred principles.
Do you understand me, son?
Yes.
Are you angry?
Angry, me?
Why on Earth would I be?
What hurts me...
How old are you?
Three, but I'll soon be four.
Are you going to give me a tank for my birthday?
Yeah, of course.
But now listen, Quico,...
this is very important, though it may be hard to understand at your age.
What hurts me is that in spite of me being a certainly honest man...
someone comes to doubt the honesty of my ideas.
If I'm honest, my ideas should be honest as well. Isn't that so?
Yes.
Conversely, if I am a twisted guy, my ideas would be twisted ones. Understand?
Yes, and are you going to buy me a tank?
Sure.
The downside is if anyone thinks that by giving you a tank it instills bellicose feelings.
Some people prefer to make their children into pansies...
before seeing them clutching a machine gun, like men should.
Quico, son, turn deaf ear to such foolish words!
The day you marry, Quico, the only thing you have to make sure of is that your wife doesn't have the pretension of thought!
Worldwide, Quico, there are people who believe that only their own views deserves respect.
Flee from them like the plague!
The woman belongs in the kitchen, Quico!
Quico, son, animals shouldn't live in the city!
Do me this favor, son:...
go tell your mother to go cook up some hand jobs.
Hm? Tell her.
Mom!
Quico, son!
Mom!
Are you going to go cook some hand jobs?
Don't talk like that, it's a sin.
Lady...
You wanted something, Vito?
I say, madam, if you please? Can I go down to him or bring him up?
A goodbye, you know?
To say goodbye, to whom?
Femio.
Sure, Femio. OK, better have him come upstairs.
We are so overwhelmed!
Thank you, ma'am.
Oh, what a brute you are!
-Aunt Cuqui of the rainbow!
-Hello, Aunt Cuqui!
But how gorgeous my dear kids are!
Come on, come here.
-Have you already healed up?
-Yes.
Did you bring me the gun?
Oh, my child! Aunt Cuqui forgot the gun.
Aunt Cuqui has very bad head.
-I have a gun.
-Oh, really?
-Hello.
-Hello, sweetheart.
-How you doing?
-How are you?
Come in.
Let's play a real war. You want to?
-Yes!
-Come.
Stop, buddy, I'll have the pleasure of putting some lead right between your eyebrows!
You have to put your hands up and get a scared face.
-I'm the bad guy?
-Sure!
-I'm an Indian?
-No.
-So it's not the conquest of the West?
-No, Daddy's war. You were bad.
You have to die.
I have to kill over 100 bad guys, like Dad.
Go ahead and die.
Right.
You don't show any blood.
-Blood?
-Yes, blood.
Moro died but there wasn't any blood.
But that wasn't in Daddy's war.
Wait.
That's it. Come on, put that down.
What does "hand job" mean, Juan?
-"Hand job"?
-Yes.
I don't know!
Mom says it's a sin.
Then it's something to do with your dick. Give me your hands.
The dick is sinful, Juan?
Yes, when you touch it.
What if it itches?
Then you scratch it without being seen.
That's it. Lie down again.
Now you look like a war dead.
And why do I always have to be the bad guy, hey, Juan?
OK, if you want now you can kill me.
Yes,...
but with Daddy's gun.
-Bam!
-No, first say: "Take that, scoundrel."
-Take that, scoundrel!
-No, then you say "Bam".
-Boom!
-No, first you have to say, "Take that, scoundrel."
-Take that scoundrel!
-Don't! Say, "Take that, scoundrel. Bam"!
Here, scoundrel, boom!
That's that. I've killed you.
I've died yesterday comforted by the sacraments and the blessing of...
Get up, Juan!
My father, my mother, my brothers, send notice to you of this grievous loss...
and beg for you to pray --- # pray for the repose of my soul. #
Get up, Juan!
Cris woke up! Give me the gun!
The gun!
Let's see...
Domi, Cris has pooped in her panties!
Sow!
Cris has peed in the crib!
Holy Mary! Who made you like this?
-What?
-"What? What?"! But is it possible? His new pants! V?tora, Domi!
Oh, Jesus, he looks like a Holy Christ!
-Bring him some more pants, Vito.
-Yes, ma'am.
-Check this out, a brand new pair of pants!
-Calm yourself, woman. Come, let me, I'll take care of him.
Let's see to your face.
I didn't pee in the bed today.
Sure, because my little one is very clean.
And Cris has pooped in her panties.
Crap, too. Wow!
She doesn't know enough to ask. She's a sow.
Cris is just a little one, but you're going to teach her. Isn't that right, my little one?
Sure, of course.
God, how gorgeous you are!
My, how gorgeous!
-You spoil him.
-Oh, don't say that!
How handsome!
This child needs special affection.
Until recently he was the king of the house.
Now, with the new one arriving, well, you know.
Nonsense. He gets all the love he needs.
You'll grant me that I understand a little about children, won't you?
Aunt Cuqui...
What, honey?
What are "hand jobs"?
Dad wants mom to go cook up some hand jobs.
Ignore him. Kid stuff.
Daddy said that.
Dad wouldn't say these things, don't lie!
Yes, he said it, really!
You're back to fighting again.
Yes.
He's unbearable, I assure you.
I couldn't have lived even two days with my brother.
Such a temper, that of Pablo!
He gets to me, he drives me crazy, I admit.
If only he was willing to argue I wouldn't mind,...
but he always knows how to hurt me most deeply.
He throws low blows knowingly,...
wanting to do real hurt.
No need to tell me. I know him well.
Actually, our marriage has been over for years,...
but they're here, so you have to pretend.
My life is a farce.
Don't say that.
Marriage is made and unmade by two.
You had relations long enough to know each other.
Marriage doesn't break if one won't let it.
And, if you're up to maintaining a comedy,...
why not complete the comedy and pretend to him, as well?
But...
What was that?
My God! Come here!
Here, here, and here!
I told you more than 20 times not to play ball in here!
Quico!
Go on, get out of here.
And you, why are you here, if it's not a secret?
Did you say that to me, ma'am?
Who do you want me to tell?
But do you think the kids pay any attention to me?
You, the playroom!
The kitchen is not a place for kids! And you, out! All!
Would you like a linden flower tea, ma'am?
No thanks, Vito, I'm with my sister-in-law.
All I want is to be quiet for half an hour,...
half an hour without hearing kids.
But what are you doing here?
Go to your room!
# Giddy up, giddy up, giddy, going to Bethlehem. #
Go urinate, Quico,...
the only thing missing now to complete the show is that you piss your pants. Go on.
Feel it, Domi, not a single drop.
OK, but it can be that you say no now and it happens later.
-I'm going to escape from this house.
-Yes?
-Yes.
-Where to, Juan?
Where they won't hit me.
-And when'll you run away, Juan?
-Tonight.
Are you going to run away from home tonight, Juan?
-Yes.
-With some other mom?
Of course!
What are you plotting there?
-Nothing.
-Nothing.
-We're devoting ourselves to be bored. Right, Juan?
-Yes.
Look.
A buffalo?
Domi,...
sing to us the one about the boy who ate with the cows.
No, Domi, the one about the two-edged dagger.
Which is it, the cows or the dagger?
The dagger, Domi.
Yes, that, Domi, about the dagger.
Well, then, sit down.
# Now we're back from the war in Africa...
# and all this is caused by passion.
# We're already back from Africa, all...
# to meet with our old loves.
# "You swore, Rosita Encarnada...
# "that you wouldn't marry another man.
# "Now I've come to marry you...
# "and I find that you're already married."
# "Don't kill me, by God, don't kill me!"
# "Don't kill me, be forgiving,...
# "because that kiss you ask of me...
# "now and forever I'll give it to you!" #
-No kisses, you'll see.
-No.
# "I don't want kisses coming from your lips,...
# "what I want is to enforce my will."
# And taking a two-edged dagger...
# he plunged it into her chest. #
A two-edged dagger?
God, Domi, how much blood would she lose!?
Figure it out: a young, well-bred lady, and nubile...!
Well, you see, son, like a calf.
Sing us now the one about the cowboy kid.
No. This is all you get for one 10 cents coin.
Then my tonsils are sore and I can't sleep.
What are you doing there, Quico?
Nothing.
If you piss yourself, I'll cut your dick off.
Well.
Juan.
Here, your snack.
Ay, ay, ay, that gives me a bad feeling!
-Quico.
-What?
-Come here.
-No.
-Come right here.
-No.
-Didn't you hear me?
-No.
Look at this child rebel! Come here now.
I'm here.
He's pissed himself for sure.
I'm afraid so.
Come on, Quico, I won't repeat myself, come here.
I'm here.
Pig, more than a pig!
No win for pants. And you won't get your allowance!
Here, go have Vito change you. Beat it!
And you, Domi, why are you here? Huh? What for?
Look, lady, not even a minute ago I asked if he wanted to urinate.
Should I put a clothespin on it?
Here.
-What, Quico?
-Nothing!
Come here, Quico.
Shit, messed in shit, asshole!
But, come on! That's your reaction to Vito, now?
But what has poor Vito done to you?
-You pissed yourself again. Right?
-Mm.
When will you learn to pee like a man? Tell me.
I don't know.
Did Mom warm you?
Yes.
On the butt?
Yes.
Will you piss yourself again?
Mm.
Let's see if it's true.
Are you going out for a walk, Vito?
No, I'm bringing up Femio.
Vito, I'll cut off my dick!
Don't you dare! Huh?
Yes, with Dad's knife!
If you do that you'll die, just so you know!
Here.
-V?tora, make sure he eats that.
-Don't worry.
You smell good! Hey, Vito?
You see.
-So Femio can smell you?
-Exactly.
It's him.
-Is that Femio?
-It's Femio. Let him in.
Here lives...?
Come in, Femio.
Hey, are you going to kill Rosita Encarnada?
Look at her, the little girl already got smart!
It's a boy, you jerk!
Besides, what could the child understand of this stuff?
These fine house kids, you know: neither meat nor fish.
Hey, guy, and you want a four-year-old to have grown a mustache already?
I'm not saying anything. I'm not guilty.
I'm going to cut off my dick!
What a neighbor! Classy to the core!
You know, it's not such a bad idea.
With Dad's knife.
Are you stupid? You'll die!
Leave him alone, he wants to stay away from trouble.
If you've come to brainwash the child fuck off at once, got it?
Easy, easy.
First of all, I want you to know that if I go there, it's not voluntary.
And another thing: if you've got a bad mood today, I've got it worse.
Don't teach that to the kid. Do you hear?
And don't talk like that, you're not in the canteen.
-Hey, Femio, don't you have a dagger?
-No, my boy.
And are you going to Africa?
Can't help it!
And when you get back, will you kill Vito?
Such a spirited kid, he only thinks of killing!
-It seems...what do I know?
-You don't have a gun, either?
No.
Aunt Cuqui's bringing me one.
Well, then, you'll have more than me!
He speaks like a grownup. What a mouth he has!
Femio, are you going to kill many bad guys?
-No, my boy, that's not my job.
-My Dad killed 100.
Your Dad's a class act.
Don't cry, Vito!
Don't take it that way, dear.
Can you tell me what twisted thought you got?
There are no real women there. So now you know.
What about blacks?
Aren't they women, black women?
Look, for what you're looking for there, they're fairly useful.
I like whites, you know.
The whiter the better.
Go on, go away.
Why don't you sleep here, Femio?
-There's no bed for me, kid.
-Yes, there.
-Really? Where?
-In Vito's, with her.
Good God! Will you shut up?
Like mom and dad.
You know what, for one so young, some of his ideas aren't bad at all?
-How far is Africa, Femio?
-Far.
-Farther than the duck pond?
-More!
-More than fair with horses?
-More.
-And more than Dad's factory?
-More.
Holy shit!
The kid lets it all hang out.
He's not silly, no.
So we're as friends like before?
How else, indeed?
And don't you pine, eh?
OK.
Don't bite, you!
Don't bite, you!
Mom, Domi, Femio is biting Vito!
What nonsense is this guy saying?
Not anymore.
And you...I thought you were a bit icy.
Quico made it up.
What he doesn't see, this guy makes up.
Excuse me.
Well, I haven't made the introductions.
This is my boss.
Here he's...
-Nice to meet you.
-The pleasure is mine.
Mrs. Domi you already know.
Yes. Hello, how are you, Mrs. Domi?
Just as you see us, son.
So you're going?
Tomorrow, you see.
You'll be back before you know it.
Time flies.
Wow! It was a pleasure, and good luck.
-Goodbye, thanks.
-Come on.
You always stick your nose into other's business.
Take them to their room, Domi.
Here, my girl, here.
Quico...
Come, Quico, come here.
Tell me, son, where was Femio biting her?
Here.
-In the mouth?
-Yes.
Oh, mother!
And strong?
-Very strong, and for a long time...!
-A long time?
A lot.
Did he drew blood?
Come on!
You shut up! Can't you see I'm talking?
Tell me, son, what did Vito do? What did she say?
But how could she speak, Domi, if Femio was biting her mouth?
Will you shut up?
Tell me, son, tell me.
What did Vito say before the ki...
before the biting by Femio?
I can't remember.
Hey, kid, and were they in the kitchen, or in Vito's room, when he bit her?
I don't know any more, Domi, let me go!
He'd get a head slap this hard!
Come on, whenever you want you use your mouth fairly well.
I told you everything, Domi!
Amen!
Juanito, son, go in to the kitchen and see what Vito and Femio are up to.
Give me a break!
Come, my boy! And say you're going to drink some water.
Don't ever say that I told you to go myself, right?
OK.
-OK, OK.
-Come on, Quico, you come.
Wait.
OK.
Come on.
Why are you crying, Vito?
And Femio, he's gone?
He's in Africa, right, Vito?
# Watch, don't count the hours...
# because I'll go crazy.
# She'll be gone forever...
# When the sun rises again.
# But we only have tonight... #
Don't cry, Vito!
# to live our love,...
# and your ticking reminds me
# of my irremediable pain.
# Clock, stop your march...
# because my life's being extinguished.
# She's the star which lights my being,...
# without her love I am nothing. #
Don't cry, huh?
# Stop measuring time with your hands,...
# that this night may last forever! #
Juan, look how I dance!
My turn, Vito. My turn.
Well?
-He's gone.
-Who's gone?
Femio.
The scoundrel buggered off without saying a word?
I'll never forgive this!
Come on, he should leave off that way!
Didn't he say to me many times:...
"To me, Mrs. Domi, you're like a mother."
You see how much of a mother!
And what is Vito doing, son?
Crying.
Let's see, what else do you expect her to do?
I didn't say anything, Domi!
Look after the little girl.
Tell me when you want to piss. Hey, Cris? Let's see...
How beautiful, my girl, you haven't peed!
Come on.
Upsy-daisy.
Come with me.
Come, let's play doctor.
-Tata!
-So many things! Hey, Cris?
Look, another cannon.
Mm...This, too.
Amen!
Dad!
See if you have a fever.
Come here.
You're a bit sick.
I'm going to put in a suppository.
-Dad!
-Shall I give you a suppository?
Let's see.
Tata!
Don't shit it out, eh? Don't shit it out.
So, that's it.
Tata!
Now I'll paint you like mom.
Keep still.
-Amen!
-Come on.
No!
I'll paint your mouth like Mom.
Here.
That's it.
Now for here.
Tata!
You look like a clown on TV.
Domi. Domi!
Why are the children so quiet?
They sure are, ma'am, making their own entertainment!
Oh, my God! But what's all this?
She escaped.
There she is, she looks like a Red.
Tell me, Domi, how confident can I be leaving you with the kids? How confident?
Well, you see, ma'am, in the minute I went to the kitchen...
And what's your job in the kitchen, if I may ask?
One day the children will be poisoned, and you'll be in the kitchen.
I pay you what I do to take care of children...
and not to hang out in the kitchen.
Well, look, lady: if you are not happy, you know what you can do.
No, Domi, I'm not happy, so decide.
That's it.
Domi is leaving this house forever, Juan, she said so.
Then she leaves. It's for the best.
Domi isn't going to go, Mom? Is she?
If she says so, I guess she means it.
I don't want Domi to leave.
Then she must say so. Otherwise, another one will be taken on.
I don't want someone else to come.
Here it is.
-What have you got there?
-A nail.
Take it, so Cris doesn't get poked.
Wait, wait.
Tata!
Dad!
Yes...
Mom...
Give it to me.
What?
The nail. Where is it?
Where did you put the nail?
Did you swallow it?
Come on, speak up! Have you swallowed the nail?
My God! Where is the nail?
Fuck, he swallowed the nail!
But he had it in his hand! The boy had it in his hand and he wanted to give it to me!
My God! Where did he put it? This is the last straw!
Son! Quico, wait!
-I swallowed the nail!
-What? You're worse than a pain!
-Is that true, ma'am?
-Leave him, it's my fault.
Virgin!
-Does it hurt, Quico?
-Yes.
-Is it poking you?
-Yes, here.
-Where does it poke, here or here?
-Yes, here.
My God!
But Quico, son!
-I've swallowed a nail, Juan.
-Yes, I know that.
Emilio?? My son has swallowed a nail.
You heard me, Emilio, a nail!
Right now.
Large, rather.
No, not rusty.
Well...my carelessness.
Yes, he says so, a poking.
I'm so scared, Emilio.
No, no, he doesn't know anything yet.
So what do we do? Right now?
Two minutes.
Thanks, Emilio, I'll be right there. Until then.
Phone my husband, tell him to send the car.
-Bring me my jacket, Domi.
-Yes, ma'am.
Look, Vito, how big a tricycle that man has!
Shush your mouth, you!
That's not a man, he's a paralytic.
-I want a tricycle like that.
-You don't know what you're saying.
May God grant that we have nothing to regret.
Look, here comes Uvenceslao.
What are such a hurry?
I swallowed a nail!
Wow, what's got in this kid?!
The lady.
-The doctor, fast.
-Yes, ma'am.
I'm terrified, Emilio. It's all my fault.
Be calm, woman. It's no biggie. We'll fix him right up.
For now, the child doesn't seem at all abnormal.
The child had the nail in hand when I looked,
and a second later I looked back and he didn't. He was sore.
I searched the room from top to bottom and there was no sign of the nail.
I'm sure he swallowed it.
Then I repeat, the child doesn't seem at all abnormal.
But we'll search him and remove all doubt.
Thank you.
Go on in.
Strip him.
No, it's not necessary to remove that. Loosen his pants.
Quico, have you peed yourself?
-A little.
-It was the shock. Right, little one?
-Yes.
-But don't be afraid. You'll see we'll get you fixed right up.
Lie there.
Let's check this guy out.
Let's see.
Nothing here.
Let's use the fluoroscope.
Up.
Come on, put him up here.
-And don't be scared, OK??
-Is this hell, mom?
No, son.
-Are the demons inside?
-No, there aren't any demons.
This child is imaginative, right?
I don't know, don't know what to tell you, more or less like anyone else, I guess.
Like everyone else, no. He thinks too much and talks better than most his age.
-How old is he?
-Three-plus years. In June, he'll turn four.
-How big was the nail?
-Five centimeters? Four? Three? Two?
Something like that. Approximately 2?, I think.
Well, let's see.
-Mom, give me your hand.
-Yes, son.
Nothing shows up. Come on, turn to your right.
Come on, man, courage. That's it.
How strange! A foreign body usually reveals itself quickly, but...
I see nothing.
I don't understand. I'm pretty sure he swallowed it.
Has he already taken the nail out of me, Mom?
Unless the nail has turned horizontal, pointing straight at me...there's no other explanation.
Nothing shows up.
My God!
Don't let him move around much. Particularly avoid violent movements, such as football, jumping...
Oh, and have him eat asparagus, but whole.
-Threads, too?
-Exactly, you said it.
The fibres envelop the nail,...
twisting around it this way,...
and this'll protect the stomach and abdominal walls.
I'll try, Emilio, but I have no faith.
His eating is awful.
It's necessary.
And with the bad appetite you say he has...
he didn't cough or seem up to throw up when...?
No, when I looked at him he seemed in a pain, but about throwing up or the like, nothing.
-You want one?
-Sure.
This guy is the next most recent, right?
Yeah, I hope you're not going to lecture me about that nonsense about a complex and whatnot!
No, not that, but we're all hurt when we stop being the center of attention.
Don't have the slightest doubt.
I know where you're going: the story that the dethroned prince.
Correct. You said it.
The child who for years has been the axis,
on losing his place because of a new sibling arrives...
defends that place as best he can.
He won't become resigned, and he'll try to draw attention to himself..
So he'd swallow a nail for that??
Swallow or invent.
Look, Emilio, the boy was beside me...
and I'm about to tell you how I witnessed him swallowing the nail.
I almost physically saw him swallow.
Listen, experience tells me some dethroned princes pretend to have gone crazy,...
run away from home, or they break free from your hand to cross the road.
You think so?
The goal is to attract attention to themselves...
that months before they got without any effort on their part.
I won't say it's a mental illness, but it seems like one.
In these cases we must act tactfully...
so that the transition is relatively painless.
I won't say that this is the case, but...
it's very rare that a nail won't show up under X-rays. Really.
Listen, Emilio, since I got married I've spent my life dethroning princes.
I know.
It was a shame that a woman like you...
This is the first time one swallowed a nail in retaliation.
Come along, Quico.
You are very nervous. I understand.
Take the precautions I mentioned.
-What did the doctor say, ma'am?
-He couldn't see it.
What couldn't he see, what?
What else would it be, girl? What a silly question! The nail!
Go on, and how could he see if the child swallowed it?
With X-rays, woman. Go open a can of asparagus.
Come here, Barabbas, you're worse than Barabbas!
From the skin of the devil, you are!
I'm not paid enough to endure scars, with him!
What 's with the blond dude? Is it true you swallowed a nail, son?
Fuck, a nail that long!
The doctor took it out of me. Come on!
Go! Go, pretty girl, have a twist with Quico.
She just falls asleep in my arms! She's not entertained by anything!
I don't know what's wrong with this baby.
But are you all crazy? Don't you know that the child can't move around much?
Come on, Quico, stop dancing and come with me.
Yuck!
Don't say "yuck". Now you'll be a good boy and eat them all. Right, my dear?
-Then they should be quiet.
-Who do you want to be quiet?
Then they shouldn't dance!
Go on, Juan, tell your sister to stop the turntable.
-And Vito has to come here!
-Tell Vito to come here.
Those are the whims of toddler boy. Go on, eat.
OK.
Let's see, my boy.
Come on!
See how you eat that whole plateful, like a man.
Ma'am, I don't know what to do with this baby.
She falls asleep in my arms, I can't make her lively.
Give her a glass of milk and lay her down. She slept little nap, right?
They woke her up.
I hate this!
Well, you must eat it whether you like it or not.
The strands are used to wrap up the nail, right?
Yes, that's what they're for. Come on, swallow.
Swallow!
Oh, this boy!
No!
-The nail!
-The nail!
-Of course it's the nail!
-The nail!
Nail! I could kill you!
Don't you realize you've gotten Mom scared to death?
He's just a tyke, lady, he doesn't realize!
Is it true that it's a lie that Quico'd swallowed a nail?
Look, he had it in his pocket! In his pocket!
Fuck, so cheeky!
Oh, what a guy! Why did you say you'd swallowed it if you had had in your pocket?
The doctor took it out of me.
What is a liar! This kid has a way out for everything.
But now you WILL be good. Aren't you going to be good?
-Can I spit out the food ball?
-Yes, come on, spit it.
Merche, call your father and tell him that it was all a false alarm.
And you, take that stuff away, I feel sick just to look at them.
What a day, holy God!
What a day!
You like Vito's tortillas better you like asparagus, eh, Quico?
Who doesn't? They don't add up to a food ball.
The last bite.
Come on, now finish your glass of milk, and go to sleep.
Fuck, this Femio...!
Not even a dog leaves like that.
Leave me alone, Domi.
-How was his dinner?
-Very good, ma'am. Right, Quico?
Yes.
Lady...
Yes, Domi?
-I say, madam, the account.
-What account?
Come on, Madam, what else? Mine.
-I'm leaving.
-You're leaving?
Of course. Didn't you fire me?
Are you leaving this house and not coming back anymore?
You see, son...what else?
Domi, don't twist things to your liking.
I haven't fired you. I've just scolded you, which is very different, because I thought I should.
But kids want you and I need you, so think about it.
Well, as far as I'm concerned...
Well, we'll say no more. Is the girl already sleeping?
Like an angel! You should see her!
She was sleepy to the bones, the kid!
As for your son, remind me. I'll talk to the man to see if he can do something.
You heard her. Now she takes back her decision.
And you, you did everything but fall to your knees.
Because at your age, where else could you go? Thank goodness!
Shut up, you!
Here, Quico, calcium.
Yuck!
I never saw a kid more rebellious at eating!
Yeah, yeah. The dethroned prince.
Should I admit you were right, now?
Yes, I admit it. Yes, of course, there was no other way out.
Thanks, Emilio.
Mom...
Shut up!
Sorry. It's the child.
Precisely.
Sorry.
OK.
Whatever you want.
Yes, we'll talk.
I don't dare.
Somewhere else.
Yeah, yeah.
Right. Right.
Go. Come on!
I just can't now.
I also wanted to.
Yes.
Well, now you know.
You know it!
You fool!
You came home from school, right, Pablo?
Didn't you see me?
Give me a sheet to cut.
Here.
Come on, out of here. Let your brother study.
Leave him, he doesn't bother me.
Are you upset?
Stop it!
You know you don't have to pretend with me.
Why would I be upset?
You always want to know my innermost thoughts.
Be brave and tell him no.
I told Dad I'd go, so I'll go, if only for him.
Are you going to go to Daddy's war?
That's it, into Daddy's war.
Exactly what I'm doing.
How did you guess?
And you don't like that, right?
I don't understand it, that's different.
Father Yanez says the veterans' associations are everywhere,...
but in our case they only be effective if we are united on one side to the other, together.
Do you understand?
That would be the way to...to forget old grudges.
And a priest says that?
Yes, but Yanez is young.
Surely Father Yanez is right.
Young people understand more of these things.
Mom, you're not sure of anything, are you, Mom?
About very few things, son.
Each day, fewer things.
Do what you think best.
I'll fix the light for you, like Blas does.
There...
-Oh!
-What are you doing?
-What happened?
-Quico!
-Ay, ay!
-The circuit breaker triggered!
-Quico jammed the scissors into the socket!
-Ay, ay, ay, ay!
Come on, don't cry. Men don't cry.
Quico!
What have you done? Let's see.
Don't worry, nothing happened.
Oh, you're going to kill me, all of you, you'll be the death of me, the whole bunch of you! Vito!
Is the kid scorched?
Put child to bed!
If you hadn't given him the scissors...
Scissors, pins, wars, sockets...!
Everything I'm doing turns out wrong!
Am I to blame that the world is full of things that hurt you?
Tell me! Am I to blame for that?
Oh, it bends, Vito!
Sure, it's only natural.
Why does it bend, Vito?
Just because it's made of meat. If it were wood or iron...
Cooked meat. Right, Vito?
-The dick is made of cooked meat.
-Yes, my boy, of cooked meat.
Go on, you're sleepy to the bones, huh?
Hey, we have not prayed for the Femio.
Would you like us to pray a little for the Femio, Quico?
Is Femio also going to Daddy's war?
For what it's worth...Let's see, little hands together like so.
Child Jesus, you're a kid like me...
so I love you so much and I give you my heart.
-It's yours.
-Not mine.
May Femio have a good deployment. Amen.
Until tomorrow, and see that you don't piss the bed, eh?
Vito!
Vito!
Vito!
What now, if I may ask?
-I want some water.
-Here, I know you. The same story every night.
-Don't turn out the light, Vito.
-You have to sleep!
You're still troubling me!
And don't ask me for water or wine because I won't come back.
Vito!
Vito!
Vito!
What's your big problem now?
-I want to pee.
-You already peed.
Well, don't close the door.
If you keep giving trouble I won't take you downstairs to Mr. Avelino's place tomorrow, eh?
-Then Juan should lie down, too!
-Juan has to have his dinner, and that's that.
-Well, have Mom come!
-Your mom is busy.
But I want her to come! Mom!
Mom!
-What's wrong?
-He doesn't want to be alone, ma'am.
What is it, Quico?
I'm scared.
What scared my child?
The devil came and the dead cat, and the soldier with a knife...
So many stories! Who tells you these stories, Quico?
Domi.
That Domi!
Mom...
What is it, son.
Me too, am I to go to Daddy's war?
No, son, I hope not,...
although there are many who want this war to continue,...
even though it actually ended long ago.
No more Daddy's wars.
Mom, do you love me?
A lot, son. I love you.
Give me your hand.
You should know what the hand of a mother has!
Yes, the trouble is then, when one day Mom is gone,...
or when they discover that Mom feels the same fears that they feel,...
but that can't be helped.
You can leave, Vito, I'll stay with him.