La estanquera de Vallecas (1987) - full transcript

written 1981 / filmed 1987

THE TOBACCONIST OF VALLECAS

Can I help you?
- A pack of Fortuna.

100.

Hands up, this is a stick-up!

Holy blessed Christ!

St Agatha of my heart,
St Catherine of Siena...!

Gimme the cash already,
or I'll send you the way of your Saints.

Shh, what's going on?

You heard what my buddy said.
Get us the cash. Fast.

Help, I'm being robbed!
Help!



Shut the fuck up!

Shut your mouth or I'll put a bullet
through it.

I'm not kidding either.
Quit yelling or I shoot.

Fucking smoke-monger!

Can I get my fan?
A bit of air would do us good.

Easy, OK?

See all these locks and bells?
She's gotta be loaded.

So now, Boss...

Watch out, Tocho.
- Huh?

There's someone in there.

You take care of Ms Heavyweight there.

Come right through, lollipop.

Freeze!

Anyone else upstairs, kid?



What took you so long?
Your mum was bringing the house down.

She's my aunt. And I was in the shower.

The yelling seemed to come from outside.
It's a noisy street.

Look, you just stay quiet
and keep your beak shut.

My buddy and I don't want anyone
to get hurt.

Get us the cash, let's stay friends.

Tell us where the fuck it is.
- I don't know where.

Don't play dumb or I'll nick you.

That's all we have.
- Yeah right, loose change...

... for the priest on Sunday.
Fuck this shit!

Where do you stash the bread?
- Bread my ass.

You scum! Goddam bastards!

Don't shout!
- Trying to steal from a poor lady like me.

Let's see the cash
or I'll blow your face off!

Judas! Go then, shoot!

See if you're man enough.
Scumbag!

I'm cutting her out, Leandro. Just one shot.
- Hold it.

They'll shoot us both.

- Addicts!
- Addict?

Sickos. You'd take money
off these working women...

...to get high. Filth!

I'll get killed before I see a cent go up in smoke.

I swear by my late husband who was a guardia civil.

Fucking ace. What do we do now?

Turn the joint upside down.
Let's find the wad.

Easy, easy.

What are you doing, you wretch?
Stop.

You'll be the ruin of me.

That's my livelihood you're pawing.

That's it, she's had it!
- If my husband was still around...

... you'd be paying for this.
With blood!

You'll be the one to pay!

Let go of my leg.
I'm gonna bump them both off.

What are you standing there for?
Help me.

You think I'm scared?
I'll kill you!

Get this!

She bit me!
For fuck's sake!

That's a proper knockout, mate.

Damn this lady.
This is gonna be harder to rob than the National Bank.

Hold on to this,
it's gonna be a lifesaver.

I'm telling you, bro, there's bread here.
- Sure, kid, sure.

Search our Cassius Clay here, willya?
She might have it on her.

Yeah, or up her...
- Come on, cut it out!

Live to see.

Nothing but fatrolls here.
No penny.

Señora Justa, are you OK?

Holy lamb, what now?
- Shh. Shut up, Tocho!

Make sure she doesn't stir any trouble.

Señora Justa!

Two guys went in.
- Good heavens!

I don't get it,
the door was open a moment ago.

Open up at once
or we're calling the cops.

Can't you hear me?
Open up or we call the cops!

Go, run to the drugstore
and call don Julián.

No, no, I just saw him walking over to Pancracio's bar.

It's two guys.

Do something!
They're in there.

Leave those poor women alone!
Bastards!

What now?
- So this was gonna be easy, right? Holy shit!

The hell out of here!
They must have called the pigs.

Listen up, here's what we do...

we open the door, and we run. Each for his own.

Let's go, quick.

Here they come.

I can't see what's going on.

Just a gun and a knife,
is that really enough to intimidate you?

You might kill one of us.

But I swear you're gonna regret
using that knife and that gun.

You'll both be smashed like cockroaches.
You can bet on that.

If they use those weapons
they won't just get their usual jail sentence...

- What a smooth talker.
- ... to do a bit of time...

...and return to their life of crime.

Don't let them scare us.

Those ridiculous weapons won't be any use
if they have to fight all us.

Quickly, kid, the crossbar.

This is no time for dancing.

I've mashed my meniscus. It's agony.

Watch that gun
or you'll shoot your balls off.

Silence, please, silence!

We have to get those bandits out...

...but without tearing down Justa's shop.

Wacht out for the old lady.

Don't worry
Tell me how to get out of here, kid.

There's a balcony upstairs, and two windows...

...but they're high up, just above the door.

You're better off leaving through the main entrance.

Is there a courtyard,
a rooftop?

Yes! But the neighbours were fighting about it,

they all wanted it for themselves.
What a quarrel!

So they just walled it up, to live in peace.

C'mon, there's gotta be a way out
that doesn't go through that square.

Tell us or I blow your brains out!
- I swear it's the only exit.

I also really want you out of here,
but there's no other route.

Hey, Juanito, why don't you drop by
the chocolate store some time?

What'd happen if we open it?
- Shreds.

They'd cut us to shreds.

See, sir?
- The death sentence!

We ought to bring back capital punishment.

Capital punishment!

Poor Esteban,
a lifetime of hard work to end up like this.

Bastards!
Now you'll pay for what you did to the tailor!

What tailor?

Just the other day,
the local tailor was robbed and killed.

For 4,000 pesetas only.
A widow and three kids.

Fuck. They'd burden us
with that death too.

Go, boy, and explain it
to those cannibals.

Go on, let me see you're legit.

Easy, king, easy.

The fat cow is riling people up.

I'll knock her off!
Stirrer, twat and fat!

Auntie, wake up, the police are here.

Come on, Auntie.

Watch it, girl, no funny moves.

Calm down!

We've been here all this time.
What took you so long?

Shop keepers are defenceless.

If you don't dare, call the Special Forces.

Those strong men!

People's lives are at risk here!

Don't test our patience!

Put that weapon away and call
for reinforcements.

You should be working
in a posh neighbourhoud.

But for now just do as you're told.

There's our pussy-sergeant Ortega again.

All the scoundrels are working overtime
when he's on charge.

Like when the tailor was robbed.

All he could do was drawing a chalkmark
around the corpse.

He should be sent away to the troubles in Bilbao.

We have to mobilize the boys.

Those are the forces of evil. Holy crap!

I really meant that there are lives in danger.

Justa and her poor little niece

they must be terrified.

Maybe they're raping her.
- Justa?

At her age?
- Or the girl!

Our neighbour's daughter was raped at Christmas...
It was snowing and all.

My God, what a load of cops!

Hey, there's just two of us here!
-Will you shut up?

It's overblown, man.
Maybe they think we are ETA terrorists.

Don't bring us but luck, OK?

Look, helmets and shields
like in the TV news.

They are terrified when they come to Vallecas.

It's their greatest threat:
ordinary people.

Ah... the times I've had to run from those losers.

And I wasn't even stealing back then, I had a job.

And they beat you because you worked?

They beat us for...

...for raising our voice.

Old tales from the battlefield, grandpa.

Look where it all got you.

I have orders to evict the square.

No, listen, I have the inspector's permission
to be here.

It's my classic time selling balloons here.
You can't kick me out.

Balloons, balloons for the kids.
Tougher than the police!

Enough!

You'll be the ruin of me!
- You're pissing me off.

What's going on?

Look, Inspector, these guys are up to ruin me.

Leave him, he's a good boy.

Leave the kids!

The first phase of the operation is concluded.

We have the entrance under control
and the square has been evacuated.

Hardly any problems or noteworthy incidents.

Now the lieutenant will talk to the robbers.
Out.

Attention please!
It's the police speaking.

Ladies, go away!

I said I want the square completely cleared.

Come on, leave us alone.
Go home!

Hey, we were the ones
who saw this and called you.

That's right, both of us.
She's my sister-in-law.

So what? You want a medal for that?
Go home!

My nephew is a policeman,
the kind that ride motorbikes.

Perhaps you know him.

Be warned that they are murderers...
holding guns and shooting around.

Come on, did you even see them?

Seen, seen...
I was bringing a meal for my godson...

...the poor man's very ill,
and I saw the shop was closed...

Is it yes or no? Did you see them or not?

I didn't...

Don't make me crack up!

That gossiping witch never saw a thing!

You shut up, kid.
You better stay quiet.

Are those criminals also
friends of yours or what?

Go away, slob!
Go home and wash your dirty pans.

Don't mess with me, kid!
If I'd talk you'd be in trouble!

You accusing my boy of anything?

You know perfectly well.
Luckily for you, I'm a discreet person.

Don't listen to them.
My boy's home because he has hepatitis.

He doesn't know the robbers at all.

Nor any of the crooks from these ladies' families.

Shut the fuck up!
We're not here to listen to your bickering.

You too, go home!

OK, don't get all riled up
...on top of everything!

We're off,
we're not the kind to go around bothering.

But between you and me, sir,
hepatitis my ass.

Her son's an addict,
a needle pusher.

Get out. Now!

But she's my sister-in-law!
- Come, fast!

- We came here to help. We're decent people!
Great help, yes! Decent people...

Attention! Those inside there.

The game is over.
Come out slowly, with your arms raised.

It's the police talking to you, understood?

Vallecas District Special Brigade.

Nice to meet you then.
If you know your father, send him my regards.

- Will you shut up?
Or do you want the tear gas?

Listen, cops, if you bomb us with gas
these ladies will be hurt too.

- Auntie here is very short of breath.

Watch out! We have two hostages.

Her face looks badly.
Maybe she's dying.

She always had a weak heart.

Yeah, right. We're the ones with a heart condition.

What a mess the fat woman made, yelling like that.

Listen, Tocho, we should call a doctor.

Say she kicks the bucket...
They'd pin us for the tailor next door too...

and the assassination
of Franco's right-hand man, rest in peace.

Cool. That makes three hostages.

Listen, lads.

Walk out now, without resistance,
and nothing will happen to you.

Throw any weapons you're carrying
and keep your hands above your heads.

We're counting to ten
before we come to get you.

You know what's good for you.
Resisting will only make things worse.

Do as we say.
It's the best for everyone.

We count to ten and you're out, got it?

Start counting.

1...

...2, 3, 4...

..5, 6, 7...

..8...

..9
- 18, 22, 33, 41...

..7 and half, 40
and your father is a donkey!

What are they thinking?
We have two hostages!

As long as we have these two, they won't dare to do anything.

My aunt is very ill...

Listen!

The shopkeeper is unwell.

Can you send a doctor?

Attention! We agree.

We'll send one in right away.

And no monkey business...

The least doubt and we'll fire.

Let the doctor in
and lock the door with the crossbar.

Watch out.
I bet you they think they're the fucking A-Team.

- Alright.
Wait, let's swap weapons, bro.

You come with me, kid.
Sorry about the hassle.

-It's OK, it's kind of you to get Auntie a doctor.

We're no professionals, we steal to eat.

Two years since our dole ran out...

Some folks have too much dough, others too little.

- The doctor's coming...

Keep your eye on the ball.

These guys are trained for shit like this.

Come in.

Afternoon, gentlemen.
- No funny moves there...

...and give this lady a checkup...
see if anything's broken.

Hold it there!

I don't trust an inch of this guy.
- Search him.

Hands up, smart-ass.

May I tend to the patient?
- Yes.

Lay her on the counter, please.

- Who?
You, of course.

What's the weight on this, kid?

- I don't know. Our bathroom scale disappeared one day.

Come on!
- I only ate sunflower seeds today.

We should've asked for a crane, mate.

Let's go to the door.
- Make way. I have to examine her.

Let's go to the door.
This nurse might try something.

Look, she's coming to...

Scoundrel!

You thought you could cheat me.
Fucking thieves!

Auntie, what did you just do?
It's a doctor. They brought him in.

I thought it was one of them because....
of the gun!

Hands up! This is not a robbery.

Pray if you can
because you're gonna bite the dust.

Auntie, what have you done?

If I'd had the gun, I'd have blown her up.

Calm down, Billy the Kid.

I couldn't even think where I had the fire stick.
- Cut it out.

Dear God, I've always been afraid of weapons.

My husband had them,
and I never dared to touch any...

...even if they were unloaded.
'Cause you know, guns are the devil's toy.

Aunt, they've given up on the robbery.
They just want to get away now.

They're good people...
They even called in a doctor.

Good people... these degenerates?
You're stupid, my kid.

I hope you grow a boil right on your ass.

So you cannot sit for the whole year.
- Yeah, for you to see... with the eyes on your hands.

Calm down, bro.
And keep an eye on this freak they sent us.

I told you he stank like a cop.
We've got Joanna the Mad to thank for saving us...

... even if she almost wiped us out too.

What's going on there?
Are you OK, doctor?

The cop's having a nap!
- Shush, there. Devil's toy, like you said.

Watch out, Boss.

Tocho, load it. Quick.

Leave the door!
Get away or we'll shoot!

- Go away or...
We kill them all!

I swear... by my mother!
All three of them...

...the two women, and this torpedo you sent us!

Shoot, Leandro, shoot!

Hold it now!
Calm down, boys.

Get out!
- Back!

Calm down, boys. We won't try anything.
Is anyone hurt?

Are you crazy?
Can't you see they've got one of us in there?

Take the ladder away.

It's OK, boys.
We've removed the ladder.

We're just going to give you some time to think now.

In the meantime,
make sure things are quiet in there.

We want a peaceful resolution.

Believe me,
I am the chief police commissioner.

Above all, keep calm.

See, bro? They're under our thumb.
They'll do anything we ask.

Jesus Christ, you're such a child.

You've got no idea the mess you're in.

Mummy, the guys from TV!

How's it going?

Hands off, man.

Don't you have a telly?
I'm sure we're on the news.

Yes, that'd be nice.
- Sure!

Upstairs, but it broke three days ago.
We've called to have it fixed.

We need cloths, water and vinegar
for the bump on this man's head.

Ah, the innocent always pay for the guilty.

I'll get the vinegar.
- Wait!

Hey, hang on.

I'm coming too.
Don't mess up again.

Watch the girl.
And the cop, he might just be pretending.

OK, man, go with her.
- After you, Your Majesty.

I'm soaked through with sweat.
Mind if I take my gown off?

Go for it, take as much off as you like.

I mean... I'd need to go upstairs to my room.

But you know
I have to keep an eye on you.

Aren't you getting a bit cheeky now?
- You think so?

And are you leaving that one alone?

OK, but don't even think of sneaking away.
This is no time for trifling.

The police are deciding
on a strategy to free the hostages.

Here with me, is the lieutenant in charge.

Will you be storming into the tobacco shop by force?

Well, it's not the only option.
Nothing has yet been decided.

Wow, you could have taken off
that shitty housedress earlier.

I always wear it at home.

Right. So now you're in Marbella or what?

What are you laughing at?
- You!

Have you been stealing for long?
- Why would you care?

No, it's just that I had a boyfriend
who stole car radios.

Car radios... junk!
That's just child's play.

Has anyone told you
you're more appetizing than bread?

No.
- I'm telling you. Got a problem with that?

No.
- Good. Just checking.

Old lady keeping you canned, or what?
- Nah.

Do you have a boyfriend?
- No

And do you go out with boys...
besides the radio thief?

Yes.

Yes, no...
You're not a big talker, are you?

No.

Do you want some?
Or are you too prudish?

Want some?
- OK.

I like to have a good piece of hash with me
at all times.

I was planning to get 25g today...
but at this pace...

Good, eh?

It's chummy gummy.

Hand it over, or you'll get high as a kite.

We just heard that the governor of Madrid
will make an appearance shortly....

on to this square in Vallecas.

Without being too cynical, it does seem surprising
that an ordinary hold-up

could attract the attention of someone so high up.

Though, to be fair, two women and a policeman
are being held hostage.

Clearly the election campaign is in full swing.

And the Government's TV network...

I mean the national TV station...

...is starting to broadcast.

So the government envoy
should be here any minute now.

For six distressing hours
these hostages have been held by their captors.

As the evening approaches, we all wonder
with endless distress...

...how events are unfolding inside this little shop.

I clean up with my clubs!

Holy lamb, she's won again.

Auntie is the best.
No one here plays with her for money.

You bet, kid,
she's skinning us.

Tute isn't for talkers, put a lid on it.
- Don't tease me, boss, or I'll loose my focus.

I pull clubs again, and another one...
and the last 10 cards for the lady!

You've fallen for my bluff big time.

I'm quitting,
you just swiped my last two 'pounds'.

You won't do this again, it's robbery!
- What a run of luck.

Another one?
She left us penniless, the card shark.

Sure, card shark...
you don't know how to handle this.

Tute is not our game, is it, Tocho?
- Hell no.

What do you say, kid?
- But you insisted because you are a bon vivant.

Boss, are you up for playing siete y media with me?

That's it. You won't, huh?

She's even better at that!
- You shut up, don't be a drag.

Anyone here has to shut up, it's you.
What next! This is the girl's house.

Well, I have the bank.

Hold on a moment!

You do have the cash, right?

Sure.
- I'm betting my gold watch!

Gold? Let me see.

This is gold?
Gold off the Moor's ass!

It's from the Canary Islands,
a legit mate of mine brought it over...

...said it was the real deal.

That mate of yours then...
was pulling your leg.

Pot of coffee, Auntie?

Good idea. At this time of the day
my blood pressure tends to drop.

For the policeman too?

Yes, pour him a cup.

No way, he's under arrest, no treats allowed.

He's dangerous. Right, Leandro?

What's it to you?

You like coffee, don't you, Sir?

Course. Bring him coffee, love.

I'll help her.

Hold it, Barabbas!
Help her fall into disgrace, is what you want.

Why do you have it in for me?

Bump getting any better?

Can you play tute, sir?

Make way,
step back, please.

Make way.
- Later, later,

The government envoy speaking.
The governour, if you prefer.

All I want is to advise you...
to give yourselves in.

Given the situation, it's the best option.

There's no chance of escape.
Pay attention to me.

I feel for you.
I understand your situation was desperate.

But taking hostages is a very serious thing.

Make no mistakes.
This is not just an adventure.

Three innocent lives are in danger.
Maybe your lives too.

All your rights will be respected.

Consider it, boys, for your own good.
Don't do anything crazy.

The only solution is to surrender.
Have you understood me?

I hope so.
It will be the best for everyone.

The sooner you give in, the better.
You can listen to him, he's not a cop.

And he's from the Socialist Party.

What should we do, Leandro?

If they get us, they'll smash us.
Socialists or no Socialists.

Let's go, if we don't make it
to the lunch news we're fucked.

Since you're here in Vallecas
for this media opportunity...

...with a view to the elections...
- Wait, wait.

Firstly, I said I wouldn't be making
any political statements here.

Secondly, your suspicions are completely unfounded.

But you won't deny my right to free speech?

I just won't be put under pressure...

to prolong my presence in this square.

As I said, a press release will be published tonight.

If you don't want to clarify things for the public,
why are you here?

My goal was very clear.
To persuade the robbers to abandon their plans.

I'm not seeing anyone,
say Fraga, here,

or anyone who could persuade these boys.

But the TV cameras are already gone.

According to your theory, if the cameras stayed...

all candidates would be marching on this square.

Crooks! Every one of you!

When Fraga was minister
none of this happened.

But now he's joined the democratic game
and he's softened up.

Very well, don Julián!

We don't want Fraga here!
The guys in the shop are less dangerous than him!

Nor Fraga, nor anyone!

Go away!

My two sons are in the Carabanchel jail.
That's where they learn to be criminals.

We're fed up here with our rotten life here!

Jobs!
Give us jobs!

If La Pasionaria were 20 years younger
she'd reprimand you all.

Want to hear what I say to all politicians?
Take this! Politics!

Son of a bitch! Filthy cops!
Motherfuckers!

Fuck off, motherfuckers!

And that situation in the shop...
I'm gonna fix that myself!

So make way!

I hope the two robbers in the tobacco shop...

...are aware of the situation they're creating.

Things are getting very heated around here.

There's still time to surrender
and spare everyone a lot of misery.

Surrender immediately.

No worries.

Come on kid, pour the coffee.

Are you stupid or something? Get going.

So, Maestro, how's it going?

I'm feeling pretty bad.
I think my elbow is broken, and my head aches.

Don't be such a moaner.
Being a cop, it's just an occupational hazard.

Listen, my friend, I hope your colleagues
out there don't do anything foolish.

Attention, Maldonado.
It's commissioner Payno.

We won't storm the house.

Tell them it's in their best interest
not to harm you or any of the hostages.

On our part, we won't either.

Soon or later, they'll have to come out.

Things are looking shitty.
What to do with all the gorillas out there?

Look pal, for now, we just wait it out.

So let's bring on the booze
and cheer up the party.

What do you think, madam?
A little drink...

Yes. But watch out with the anisette.

It goes to your head real fast.

And for the kid only a shot!

Or she'll be sleepless.

Well, joy!
- So your aunt doesn't get mad at me.

You don't have a record player?
Some music would be divine.

Yeah, upstairs but it's from like the Stone Age.
And so are the records.

Damn, you could modernize the house.

Check this out, what a snotty brat.

Next time you should go out...
and rob some marquis!

Or the president's residence.
Or even better... the royal palace!

OK, lady, don't get mad.

Can we listen to some tunes upstairs?

If you are not deaf.

Let's go and play that record you like.

Jesus Christ.

More than a robbery...
this looks like we celebrate Christmas!

Know what I say?
Everyone upstairs!

And this one?
- This one? I don't know.

No problem. The knots are so tight
even Superman couldn't escape.

Wake up, man!
Did the anisette got to your head?

- But, Leandro...
If we go upstairs, he comes with me.

Come on, pig,
stir up from the mud.

Here it is! You'll see how nice it plays.

Even if it's a bit old-fashioned.

Old-fashioned, she says. Check it out.

Did you get it for your first communion?

No, smartass.
I got it from the priest, who was your father!

What priest was that?
- Easy, Tocho.

What priest, my father?

You think I was born yesterday?

My mother's in the graveyard.

And I don't care that you're a woman...

...You keep messing with her...

I'll make mash of your fat face!

You calling me fat?

Your mother might be a saint.
But you're a right son of a bitch!

I'm gonna kill her!

She didn't mean it.

- Tocho, son!
Tocho, calm, it wasn't on purpose.

I'm going to the toilet.

Now, Auntie,
The boy didn't deserve that.

Did his mother die long ago?

Hardly a month. She was found stabbed
in a hostel in Calle del Barco.

She was...

... bound to end up like that. Poor woman.

She walked the streets there...

...and it's a nasty area.

Well, Tocho, let's end the fights!

It's the anisette,
I get so emotional.

Same here!
Good anisette gives you purple snouts.

Let's put it all behind us!
Ángeles, play that record!

That's right, Sergeant, it's coming from up there.

How is that possible?
- They put a record on. There you go.

It's a beautiful pasodoble, don't you like it?
- Yes, of course.

What a beautiful pasodoble,
isn't it moving?

You bet! I am working in Germany...

...and I hear that
and I shit in my pants.

My deceased husband always cried
when he listened to it.

He was a bit serious,
but he had such a heart it didn't fit in his chest!

It's so beautiful to be Spanish.
Right?

That depends....

Spain's one of a kind!

If there were two...
we would all move to the other one.

Nonsense, Tocho.

Wanna dance, Tocho?
- No, no.

Come on, man.

What are you doing, kid?
- It's not my kind of music...

Get up and show us some decent moves.

Come on, girl.

Get up closer, boy, she won't bite!

Cheer up, Tocho!
Show us some grace!

This youth! Always listening
to noisy music, from abroad, of course!

Because Spanish, nothing!

Well said, Boss!

Boss.
Damn!

Why don't we give those two a dance lesson?

Me? Come on, don't be a joker.

Come on, Aunt, you're dying to.
- No, no, sir, please.

She's the best dancer in the neighbourhood.
- Really!

OK, I'll dance.
But just a turn or two...

...'cause the thought of dancing
in the middle of all this...

Watch out with the gun, it's very hard.
- Excuse me.

Tocho! Learn, man!

You!
Hands off!

And move to the side.
It's very healthy to let the air pass.

You make sure not to choke Leandro
with your huge boobs.

Did you hear
what that skinny little fucker said?

What's this smoke?
- It smells burnt. Shit!

Fire! Fire!
God, so scary!

My shop, my house!

Tocho, run!

If you move I blast your head!

Crank it up, Leandro!

I'll be left homeless!
- Calm down, Justa. It's all over.

So much for law and order!
Without my shop, I'd be out on the street.

Look what you did, asshole.
You damn nearly got us all roasted.

Does it hurt, buddy?
- It's nothing.

See?
You got my friend wounded.

Scumbag!
You're gonna eat your matches one by one.

I'll catch up with you at the police station.
See if you really have balls.

You're gonna eat them one by one.
Dog. Son of a bitch.

Enough, boy!

Get him back down.
God knows what the fuckers outside are up to.

What's going on in there?
Speak up now. Do you hear me?

Please, have inspector Maldonado
contact us immediately.

In the interest of everyone
don't stop him from contacting us.

What's going on with that smoke?

Never mind, it was a false alarm!

My god, it's awful!
- What's going on?

They're burning down Justa's shop!
- You both are!

Let's go in.
Don Julián doesn't want us here outside

Stick around in case we need you.

The tobacconist's stock is highly flammable.

The whole square could end up on fire.

Please, don't spread panic!

There's no more smoke.

And the firemen are ready to step in at any time.

It's all fine with you.
But our homes and businesses are on the line.

Bunch of murderers,
terrorising the neighbourhood...

...and the police hasn't made any progress all day!

Be patient, will you? And stop scaring the neighbours.

They've stopped caring about this farce.

They're hearing sirens all day.
So now it's the firemen, big deal!

It's better that way.
- Why not?

At this time with this stifling weather...
Everyone looks out for himself.

Women are cooking.
Men are out drinking, looking for jobs in the paper.

And the young folk make out in the hallways...
In the best of the cases.

And in the worst case...

...pushing needles into their puckered veins.

Some youngsters in Vallecas
have healthier pastimes.

Right... like preparing tonight's assault.

My pharmacy is as tightly guarded
as the National Bank.

Nobody comes for insulin syringes any more.

My clerk has strict orders to reach for the shotgun

and tell junkies to go get needles
at the police station.

Well, stop referring them to us, will you?

Why?
You might not keep syringes in stock,

but they get what they really want....

The heroin to fill them up with.

Leave him, don't listen...
- Calm your men, officer.

You're an experienced professional.

You know what the scene is like near police stations.

Your suggestions are improper
of a man who claims to be respectable.

They're like something out of a
trashy movie or a tabloid.

Lieutenant.

Nobody in the balconies.
Not a soul.

For a pigeon's egg...
it's pretty big.

Spotlight's on you for a change!
Constant surveillance.

These guys know more tricks than in films.

My late husband was only taught
to use the musket and the Naranjero submachine.

And to give slaps in the face...
proper slaps.

It hurts, right?

You burnt your hand.

Come upstairs,
I'll bandage it.

It stings?
If it stings, it desinfects.

You're tough as steel, huh?
You don't look it, though.

You're hands are badly calloused.

Hell yeah.
The scaffolding was my gym since I turned 14.

You're a hard-working man...
an honest one too!

How can you follow
a scoundrel like that around?

How should I know?

Damn! And that window?

What side is it on?

The courtyard. But it's too small.
No one could slip out through there.

A light person would for sure.
- How charming!

I hadn't stopped to think if I fit through it.

No offence, Boss.
They must be guarding the courtyard.

Let's see their setup.
-Are you crazy? They'd shoot you.

Easy, Mrs Justa.
I know how to do this safely.

Oh my!
- Help me.

Watch out.

I can't see a thing.
We have to open the curtains.

Don't even think of it.
- Who's gonna check out the scene?

That's life, my friend.

A light person would fit through the window.

And a lad that measured up to the circumstances...

...could look through it without any trouble.

Now we're even, champion.

What are you doing?
- I'm curious too.

And for you it's not dangerous?
- No. I am the owner of this house...

...and they're here to defend me,
not to attack me.

I wouldn't be so sure.

And don't try any tricks on me.

So you're even thicker than your friend, are you?.
Put that thing away.

We're lucky. He's having dinner.
- Who?

The government cop.
- What?

Across the street, that's the local tax office.

Is he armed?

To the teeth.

He has a submachine gun and a sandwich.

Don't push me.

What's going on?

You'll knock me over, please.

At your service, Lieutenant.
The replacements have arrived.

Refreshments would be more appropriate.

'Cause what a torrid sun fell
on this fucking square.

Sure, Lieutenant,
our men were sweating buckets.

You love complaining.

When it's cold because it's cold.
If it's hot, it's too hot.

Nobody complained here,
superintendent.

Don't be annoyed.
There.... old Sergeant.

Always disciplined and imposing discipline.

And most of all, a great father to his kids.

I just try to do my duty.

I know. I've always had
a good opinion about you.

But I've been in this square since noon.

And everyone knows that this area
makes me specially nervous...

and I tend to become aggressive.

What can I say, sir?

I live just three streets down.

Didn't I offer you one of those flats
they built for us?

But I've lived here, in Vallecas
ever since I left my village.

And I've come to like it.

Do you have kids?
- Three full-blooded Vallecanos.

My eldest is signing for Rayo Vallecano F.C.

Won't this place lead them astray?

Shit happens everywhere.

My children always had food on their plate.

And they went to school
since they were 4.

Sure, there's a chance they'd make bad decisions.

But with good olive oil,
you avoid many temptations

and you make awesome fried eggs.

It's painful to see you eating like that, Officer.

But after that joke with the fire...
who would trust you!

Well said! Don't trust him the slightest.

You eat and shut up, kid.

It's bad manners
to speak with your full mouth.

And you, girl, with these guests,
you haven't laid out napkins.

They're all in the wash.
Except the embroidered ones.

The ones I had embroidered
by St Clare nuns for my wedding?

What's next?
Under the counter there's a pack of Kleenex.

Good enough to wipe these snouts.

Stay still...
- Shut up. You're so hot.

Who do you think you are!
Rascal! Scoundrel!

Touching up the kid!
Rascal! Scoundrel!

If you touch her,
I smash you.

I'm at the end of my tether with you!
You don't know me!

Stop!

I'll kill him.
Touching my girl up...

Go and sit down. Your eggs will get cold.

How do you like these frozen eggs?

Watch that! They're even sending a helicopter.

It's from the Blue thunder operation .

They'd send in their armoured unit,
if we asked for it.

The armoured unit?
What do you mean?

Two criminals are holding one of our own hostage...

plus two women.

It's not clear what they want.

But all this can get very messy...

With the elections coming up,
some people won't take any chances.

They'll do anything
to make an impression on the public.

Isn't it the other way round?

Wouldn't the government want
a small hold-up to go unnoticed.

No, I don't think so.

This won't go unnoticed.
So it's better for them to make a big show...

of their powerful devices against crime.

And the citizens should be reassured...

that they don't only have weapons,

but governors who can talk
face to face to those bad boys.

And give a lesson of courage and humanism.

That's a bold opinion, isn't it?

We all know they'll win the elections
whatever happens in this shop.

You have a point.

Well, I'm off. I still have to send a report in.

Aren't your shifts over?

We'd like to stay to see the end of this.

It shouldn't be long now.

You're very optimistic, lieutenant.

And very cautious.

These days, those qualities are in high demand.

You clearly have a bright future ahead of you.
Good night.

Night, inspector.

Don't take him too seriously, sir.

Instead of a helicopter, he would have liked
to get a bomber aircraft.

Or the armoured division in full.

Sergeant, don't be telling me
who I should take seriously.

And I won't allow you to disrespect
any of my superiors.

Who's there?
- It's me, Tocho.

I'm bringing you coffee and cookies.

Auntie's fast asleep.
And Leandro is snoring.

Thank you, gorgeous.

You're not sleepy?

I'm not a big sleeper.

Is the sugar okay?

Delicious, like you.

Would you like a cookie?

No, I'm not hungry.

And Auntie says that sweets make your teeth fall off.

Let them all fall off. I've got a sweet-tooth.

That's why I like you.

You're like a little cream puff.

Don't be silly.

Girl, don't you know you're
sweeter than rice pudding?

Oh my.
I'd eat you up from head to toe.

Like the fierce wolf ate
Little Red Cap up.

Yes. Cookies, candy, sugar.

Those lips of yours,
those eyes...

My God, those eyes.

And these two little apples...
about to fall from the tree.

They are saying: eat me...

It's unbearable.

You tickle me.

Tickles?

I'd give you a kid or two, right here,
if I wasn't on duty.

Come, kiss me.

I don't know...

Let me teach you.

I like you more than a race car...

more than all the gold in the world...

more than all the hash of the Rif...

Shoosh. If Auntie sees us,
she'll get furious.

Let her see us.

Those boobies.
My god.

Are you going to have all the fun?

What about me?
- Stay still.

It's not the same.
- Why not?

Because I am on duty.

If you touch me up,
I touch you up.

Don't make me angry...
I can get nervous.

I'm nervous,
but I still let you touch me.

It's not the same...
- Why not?

I know why. If I touch you
your weenie will get hard.

Enough. Don't get me angry.

If you want to see my boobs...

you have to show me that.

It's not the same!

You don't want me to pull my dick out
in front of a cop, do you?

He's sleeping.

What if he wakes up?

No, look. He's sleeping like a log.

If you want I can hitch up my gown.

You see?
I'm not embarrassed.

I'm gonna bite you there

and make sure you keep the game up.

Your skin's so smooth.

Like a peach.

Peaches have a rough skin.

And I peal them off.

Like a plum then,
a watermelon or banana.

We've got a banana here alright.

What's the matter?
Why are you crying?

Who can understand women?

Did I do something wrong?

You don't love me?

No... it's not that.

It's what my aunt told me.

What did she tell you?

That this is going to put you both in jail for life.

She's always exaggerating, your aunt.

First, they'd have to catch us.

Second... we'll see,
said a blind person.

You won't be giving testimony against me, right?

Me? No, never.

And Auntie wouldn't either, for sure.

You tell the cops...

that we're relatives...

anything you come up with,
I don't know....

Don't be silly? What's up?

Keep still, please.
- But why?

Because I've never done it.

At your age?

At my age.

Aren't you ashamed?
You must be the last one around here.

What are you doing?

Weren't you curious to see it?

It was just a game.

A game?

We're gonna play seriously now.
No tricks.

Are you calling me a cheat?

Yeah, but you know, me...

Clear as mud, Tocho.

Aren't you getting cheeky now!

You've got a thing or two to explain, gorgeous.

Me?
- Yes, you!

What do you want to know?

What's are you about?
What's your thing?

I don't know if you're silly or moronic.

Or you're too smart for your own good
and you're a cock-teaser.

You're going too far!
- Too far?

I wanted it more than you...

I wasn't teasing you.

Don't worry. I won't force you.

We have all the time we want...

Leandro!

Wake up!

What's wrong?

The kid, Ángeles, she's not in her room.

Look in the toilet. She's probably peeing.

You know who she's with!

Come on, you think your niece is 12 years old.

Come, help me to find
those two airheads.

Or rather, one airhead and one rascal!

What on earth do you have against Tocho?

He's a great boy!

Of course, a little saint.

In particular, Saint Aloysius Gonzaga
of the Knifemen.

Let's find them before they put in an order

for another little saint.

Wait, I forgot my shirt.
- Leave it and let's go.

Look at them. And you didn't trust them.

Asleep like two angels.

You mean like an angel and a devil.

What's your beef with Tocho?
He's a hell of a kid. I love him a lot.

I know, but he's a bad influence on you.

And on my niece too, if I let him!

It's bad influences
that have ruined the world.

The world?

The world's messed up
because of you-know-who.

Come.

Oh come on! Is that how you light your cigars?

A cigar has to be... pampered.
You've got to light it properly.

So... you already know how I live
and with whom.

But you haven't told me anything about yourself.

For instance, you didn't say
if you have a girlfriend.

Who? Me?

I'm married, and separated.

In other words, dumped in the gutter.

She left with someone worthier than me.

How do you mean, worthier?

Who knows.

It's hard to stand someone
who cannot make a living.

But why do men think
that women only feel attracted by money?

'Cause it is the fucking truth.

I am lonely beyond belief.

At least, I have Tocho, el Tochillo.

You only have Tocho?

Maybe it turns out that you're...

A faggot? Me?

'Concerned citizens' like you
are obsessed with that...

But if thinking that makes you happier,
it's fine with me.

No. It just makes my stomach turn...

that you're mixed in with this
because of that bastard.

Drop it, will you?

What's behind this wall, Boss?
- The house nextdoor. Why?

But listen, maybe you have a nice pickaxe here?

A pickaxe? Why would I?

Don't even think
of tearing my house down!

No, no, it was just a question...
- Just in case.

The thing is...

I wanted to ask you a favour.

In case this gets really nasty...
And we can't get out of it.

You and I get along.
For you I'll do as much as I can.

Yeah, I know.

The problem is... it's not for me.

I'd like you to help me
get Tocho out of here.

That kid?
Come on, no way.

So you rob me, you almost kill me.
My shop catches fire.

That was the cop!
- Sure. But it was because of you!

And now you want me to save your boy?
Don't make me laugh.

Why did I even ask.

You know?
This might be nonsense.

I even have to laugh.

If I was 20 years younger
and 20 kilos lighter.

You know... ah... nonsense.

You know what I'd ask you?
- No.

I'd ask you...

to put your arms around me.

Come on, Boss...
- Stop goofing around.

We can just stay here forever. That's it.
I like being here.

And what would you do, smartass?

If you want to steal...
you should know what to steal and from whom.

It's certainly easier to rob poor people, right?

Of course, they're easier to find.
There are so many of them.

No worries.
I can go out and beg for all of us.

With a sign here saying...

Jobless, and stupid enough
that he couldn't even hold up

a tobacconist and her niece.

Don't scorn yourself, don't get dim.

Remember when we got that car
and headed off to Benidorm?

Like aristocrats.

Or when we jumped into the sea

with all those plump foreign girls?

We really turned those American mummies on.

Or the time when we sneaked into that hotel.

Oh man, I'd never been in an hotel before!

It had everything...

A phone on the nightstand, colour TV,
background music, video.

Even a little fridge with champagne.

They brought us breakfast in bed.

Like we were marquises.

Shut up, man.
- It felt like the world was ours.

Shut up already!
- Why? Is it not true?

You're spilling the beans
in front of the cop!

We're in enough of a mess. Up to here in the shit!

No, the policeman's not here.
- He's not here?

He went to the toilet...

To the toilet?

That bird has flown.

That bird has flown.

We can't even keep watch on a tied-up cop.

End of story.

There was no trouble.

If I had wanted, I could have escaped long ago.

But I thought it was best
to control them from the inside.

The officer said to wait all this time
'cause your life was at stake.

He knew I'd sneak out
when I thought it wise.

That's 16 hours thinking whether it was wise.

Maybe everyone just fell asleep
and you saw your chance.

How did those women cope?

Those two? Like two real sluts.

Leandro, don't let me down.
Don't give up now.

I can go out... and shoot everyone.

Sure, Tocho, sure.

Yesterday you said we would conquer the world.

Yesterday was yesterday and
today is today.

Have you not realized yet?

We lost, my friend.

No, it's not possible.

He's right, Tocho, you lost.

Be a good loser.

Right. You have your tobacco shop.

Of course!
I am a millionaire.

Years behind a counter
putting up with people.

"A pack of Fortuna.
And make it snappy. I'm late for work.''

"Justa, my Ducados.
My car's gonna get towed away.''

"Look, Madam...
this cigar is dry."

Come on, kid, please.
That's what it's like, day in, day out.

One customer after the other....

See? You're not the only one who has problems.

Yeah, that too...
You're a coward.

Siding with the old lady... you fucking wimp.

Don't mess with me, asshole.
- I'm not.

Yes, you're messing with me, coward.

Don't talk like that,
son of a bitch.

How are you, Tochillo?

Fucking great.

Me too... It's been a long time
since we'd punched each other.

You're both crazy!

From tomorrow on, we'll be washing pans.

What a pair!

OK. Let the first one come out.

Now the other one.

Wait a second.

Goodbye, gorgeous.

I'll pick you up on Sunday.

Shit mate, we're gonna be on the telly!

And definitely on the TV news.

Shit mate, we'll be on television!
And definitely on the TV news.

Tackle him, but no weapons.

Don't shoot.
Don't hurt them if you can help it.

They're handcuffed and disarmed.

Calm, please.

Mission accomplished, without bloodshed.

Good job, it would have been a hideous killing.

That miserable man is nuts,
he and the kid.

With all the press looking on...
that's all we needed.

Halt!
The party's over.

We have a right to inform.

Those women will not be bothered any more.
Understood?

Move away!

You won't let them talk
because of their Stockholm syndrome.

Even if they had the Zamora syndrome!

They won't be disturbed any more.

We've all seen the tobacconist
and her niece...

sobbing all through the criminals' arrest.

Have some decency then,
and let them cry in peace.

You're wasting your time,
we'll be back.

Hey Kid... it's 9 o'clock.

We have to open the shop.

Subtitles
Filmhuis Cavia 2019