La corte de Faraón (1985) - full transcript
In the early Spanish Civil Post-war, in Madrid, during the most hard times of the Franco dictatorship, a group of second-rate players try to get out of their wretched lives taking advantage of the artistic caprices of the son of a rich man who supports the regime. They try to stage a Pre-war 'zarzuela' (a sort of Spanish operetta), 'La Corte Del Faraón', which ironically, thirty years later, is too obscene for the regime censorship. They finally manage to perform the 'zarzuela' but end up in the police station where they confirm that justice depends on which side are you on
Out! Everybody out!
- But sir...
- Out! Out!
Victory,
victory for the winner!
From Assyria to Memphis,
calmness struck.
Victory! Victory!
Love and pleasures!
May Osiris protect
the Great Pharaoph.
May Osiris protect
the Great Pharaoph.
Inspector, we have 50
held up in the cell.
- God be praised!
- Forever, be praised.
- Resistance to authority?
- No, Inspector...
...a colleague has...
er...with his horse...
Monarchic conspiration?
...shooting among Falangists,
a communist conspiracy?
No, sir, it is just a first
performance.
It is shameful, Inspector!
You must understand one can't...
...win a war, one doesn't
crusade to get this result.
- Were you on duty?
- Yes, sir.
Then speak, go on.
The play takes place in Egypt,
it's an operetta.
The curtain goes up, and you see
a square crowded with Egyptians.
Victory, victory,
for the winner!
From Assyria to Memphis,
calmness struck.
Victory! Victory!
Love and pleasures!
May Osiris protect
the Great Pharaoph.
May Osiris protect
the Great Pharaoph.
Thank you, beloved people,
keep the cheers,...
...until the brave General
reaches Memphis.
Pitufar! Pitufar!
Glory to Pitufar!
Glory to Pitufar!
The Great Priest is
coming here,...
...let him come out
from the temple of Isis.
- Hello.
- Take a seat.
Good night.
Chaste maiden,
purer than lotus,...
...which offers its flower,
on the bank of the Nile.
She leaves her bed, and
impatiently waits...
...for her belicous spouse,
his kisses, his love.
You will be Pitufar the
Brave's partner...
...he, the winner in 100 battles,
at Memphis will arrive.
Pitufar!
Pitufar!
Glory to Pitufar!
From Thebes I come,
there I was born,...
...the lady of Thebes is
what they call me.
A virgin she is.
A virgin she is.
When in Thebes they say it,
in Thebes they know it.
In the temple of Isis
she was purified,...
...and bathed in
Nile waters.
See how the maiden...
...with her pure face,
lacks absolutely...
...hothing.
You will be the wife
of a noble knight.
Your slave,
will congratulate you.
You will be the wife
of a noble knight,...
...and the people of Egypt,
will congratulate you.
In the temple of Isis,
she was purified.
In Nile waters,
bathed she has.
- Long live Pitufar!
- Hurrah!
To the sound of trumpets...
...the leader comes,
always as a winner.
They are laughing at the
"Caudillo", there's no doubt!
Do they refer to Generalisimo
Franco in the play?
Wait, wait.
This is very unusual.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
- Here is all that is banned.
- Only this.
"J", in my theatre, only
permitted plays are performed...
...permitted by the Church,
the Unions...
...and above all, Generalisimo's
ideals.
So that play...
Juan José Dicenta, Joaquin.
~Jiménez, Juan Ramén.
- That's not a play, it's a name.
I write down all that sounds
"left wing" in my file, is it OK?
- I think that's great.
- Ortega y Gasset, José.
He comes under "J" because of
his name, it is easier.
- Well done.
- Hemingway, Ernest.
- Under "J".
- Where else? Under "E"?
May Osiris protect the
Great Pharaoph!
Brave Pitufar,
my arms await you.
Cheers, oh sovereign,
cheers to all.
Cheers! Cheers!
My wife, for your
braveness, I will grant you...
...pretty is the maiden,
treasure of candour.
- Horror!
- Horror!
Our sir is not in
the mood for maidens.
I was wounded in battle,
I am not fit to marry.
But my sovereign orders me so...
...then, let it be so.
- Here is the maiden.
- Sir...
How beautiful she is!
Damn arrow...!
Look where it hit!
- The temple awaits us.
- Let's go without delay!
After you marry...
you will be crowned.
You will be crowned.
Do you understand?
They're insinuating the "Caudillo
will be king, aren't they?
- The arrow comes first.
- What was that?
- The arrow that was shot to...
- His genitals, Ramirez...
- ...his genitals, just say it.
- Well, yes.
That about crowning him, has a
double meaning, it's doggin' him.
Bastard!
The "Caudillo", a bastard!
How could you consent to that?
Get whoever is in charge!
Ramirez, woe betide!
No, but, er...the Caudillo...
in the play,...er...
...the one who is wounded,...
there..., he is called Pitufar.
The play goes against the most
sacred: virginity,...
...chastity, matrimony, even the
clergy... Even the clergy!
All just thrawn
and trodden over.
No, here, give it to me.
- You know what?
- Yes? Speak.
I think the "mason- jews"
are behind all this.
Come on! Don't...
This is not fair!
Good night, Inspector.
This is surely a mistake.
- He is in charge!
- Of course!
- A cigar, Inspector?
- Write down: " Attempt to bribe."
Me...? Bribing...?
Look!
Look!
A kilo and a half of shrapnel!
Battle of Brunete!
- Look!
- Show him your ID, dad.
Yes.
The ID.
Let me see!
- Take back what you said!
- But, it's true.
My husband is in charge
of the show.
Sorry, ma'am.
Coffee!
I can't work without one.
Why did they bring you here?
- Please, tell me.
- Yes, sir.
As every yeat,...
No, I'll start from the beginning.
One of my many enterprises,
deals in construction.
This is why, well,
let me explain,...
...l am in excellent terms with
the Prior...
...at the St. Donate convent...
...in Pefiuela del Campeador.
A saintly man.
He will be sanctified.
The poor also deserve
a decent home!
So, I built some cheap
houses somewhere else,...
...80 we could close the estate,
and build on it a residential...
...area, this way, the monastery,
would stop begging for money.
Very good!
The pork is just right, and
Mari Pili and Tarsicio...
- ...are not here yet.
- The pork is ready!
Let them eat it reheated.
Pork is sacred for me.
Though it is no longer binding,
we follow the tradition,...
...once a week, we have
an only course.
In spite of having been so
hungry in the front, living on...
...sardines, I am still ready to
sacrifice myself for Spain's sake.
It is a sentimental matter,
but, it must be pork.
Besides, we have more in
our country estate in Segovia.
It smells delicious!
What about the show?
What will you put on this year?
This year, Tarsicio wants
to surprise us.
The boy is trying hard, he
doesn't want to be like Peman,..
...he tore all the books where
he kept his verses.
We found him a very good
singing teacher.
Very expensive!
- He should study.
- What for? Having money...
- To hold a conversation.
- Roque, vocation is sacred.
So, playing the tambourine in a
student's group is a vocation?
- I'm sorry. Hello, Father.
- Hello, Mari Pili.
- It's Tarsicio's fault.
- His motorbike, I bet.
- Did he finish writing the novel?
- Tarsicio? No way!
He started going to the river,
to listen to the visitors...
- ..but he didn't get any ideas.
- They're getting married in Oct.
Well done. Long engagements
are too dangerous.
Although, in Tarsicio's case,
with his firm christian faith...
They met at Catholic Action,
didn't they?
No, they got together through
the operetta.
What happened at the
Author's Society?
We didn't go to the Author's
Society to choose an operetta...
...we went to the Intellectual
Property Register Office...
...to write down something
he says he has written.
He wrote an operetta?
Music and lyrics.
That's right! Music and lyrics
by Tarsicio Collazo, an operetta.
"Joseph, sold by his brothers."
Plagiarism!
He copied it from one called:
"The court of the Pharaoph".
Lyrics by Perrin y Palacios,
and music by Lleé.
It is my play!
You tell him, Mari Pili.
- He says it's his play.
- I swear! I'm sorry, Father.
1 will swear it on the
Holy Scripts.
In the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Ghost!
This man is not a man,
he is a monster!
You boast about being the author
of this rubbish, but you aren't.
- He is a failure of Satan!
- Hey, I am a good catholic!
But if we are going to insult...
Why are you here, anyway?
- Yes! That's right!
- Apart from being an Ethics...
...Professor in secondary,
I am a censor.
"A member of the censorship
comittee for showbusiness."
Why didn't you say so before?
Roque Collazo, to serve you.
You must have noticed it was
a charity performance.
All charges are on me,
and the profits go to...
- ...St. Donate's convent.
- Charity? Despicable I'd say!
And plagiarism too!
According to...
- ...him.
- lidefonso Corcuera.
Wait a minute,
it isn't plagiarism.
Only inspired in the Holy Scripts,
what I have told is the...
- ...story of Joseph the Chaste.
- Yes, of course.
That is the plot, my son, but
what about the irony and...
...the cruel delight in coarsness,
or the boldness of the gestures?
- That is Corcuera's doing.
- He looks like a "Red".
I have always
been a good person.
Your ID.
- l haven't one, sir.
- So, you have no papers?
Ramirez, check his record.
But, Father, how could I write
an indecent play...
...when mummy and my
fiancee are in it?
I can't believe it! You are far
too young to have this son.
Don't flatter me,
he is my husband's son.
- I was married twice.
- Great.
A cup of coffee, ma'am?
Thank you, very kind.
- Soprano?
~Just a keen amateur.
All my fault, she retired
when we married.
We put on these shows to make
up for it, for the artist.
Inspector...
...stop flattering and
resume the interrogation.
But he's done no harm.
It's only the flattery expected
from a Spanish gentleman.
- You were saying it was...
- Corcuera.
Ubtil he butt in,
the play was running smoothly.
- According to moral standards.
- Yes, besides acting as...
...Pitufar, I have been
scene director, ask my fiancee.
Yes.
- Until Corcuera butt in.
- He didn't direct the play...
- ...as an operetta.
- It was while you directed it.
I remember the entrance to the
temple, beautiful, the characters...
...were like...Easter characters,
they were...
...like Salzillo's figures.
And that is considering we
rehearsed in an awful stockroom.
I am sorry, I didn't mean...
Mr. Collazo is in many
businesses, all of them legal.
Don't think, he is in the
black market, Inspector.
It just wasn't an appropiate
place for the scenic arts.
- How come you arrive now?
- Public transport...
- Come on! Come on!
- Quick, please!
- They have no experience.
- You are right, Corcuera.
The ceremony is over now.
He is coming, my lady,
the great Pitufar.
Welcome, well wed,
let's hope it is for good.
May the gods grant you
a long life and goodness.
- Sir...
- Sublime Queen,...
- ...many thanks.
- Not at all.
Osiris, grant the wife
whatever she may need.
I don't know whether it's " Aida"
or the "Court of the Pharaoph".
Keep on working.
- Lord, let's go.
- Let's go.
May the gods grant you a long
and prosperous life.
Tarsicio.
I don't want you making a fool
of yourself, let the tenor sing.
- Can't I sing?
- That's what you pay him for.
Pueyo, take over my role, please,
I'm looking at some sketches.
Hail, Lota,...
...hail Lota, so pure and pretty.
Handsome flower...
...handsome flower of my house.
You shall be the queen
of my heart,...
...good for me, you shall be.
Hail, Lota, so pure and pretty,...
...handsome flower of my house.
Noble spouse, so brave and strong
I shall be your faithful wife.
I shall be as loving ivy,...
- ...thus, your body I will bind.
Lord...
Why do you call me at a
time like this?
Because it is the right time
to do business.
Some ismaelies are selling
a hebrew man.
- He looks fit.
- He's not ugly, not one bit.
- Very cheaply he's being sold.
- A real bargain, I am told.
Another slave,
your wife can take.
This is the slave.
Good day, sirs...
That's from "The Walkirie".
The young man we saw in
his underclothes.
- The one at the spa.
- Rachel, the same one.
- It is him!
- It is him!
No doubting, it is him.
So, the deal is done,
an advantageous one.
This slave is for you.
Many thanks, Rachel, my friend,...
...and so, I see him again.
- What is your name?
- My name is José.
No! I've told you a thosand
times. Read this here.
So, what does it say?
- "José is my name."
- So0?
It is easier for me to say:
"My name is José"!
This play is a disaster,
without any malice.
They'll burn the theatre down.
I am the author!
Mummy, he is a terrible actor.
They'll burn the theatre down!
Corcuera, who is a professional
in this field, was saying...
...we need to add
a little spice to this.
Naughtines, that is...slyness.
Mari Pili, your fiance is a fool.
I am the author and they
will do as I say.
Maestro, go on.
Slaves, take her away...
...and let her be scented with
Oriental perfumes.
~José, you go with them.
- l will die of shame!
Among so many women,
and you, so chaste,...
...whatever will be, José.
My lady, the nuptial
chamber awaits you,...
Well, I shall be going,
I am preparing a wedding.
But go on rehearsing.
- You shall be the director.
- Mrs. Fernanda!
Hello, mum.
- I've been an hour waiting!
- Rehearsals...
If you lack respect, you'll be out.
Forget the show now.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Come on.
8,500 pesetas.
What jumps you'll be
able to do here!
- What do you think, Tarsicio?
- Twin beds, it's modern.
- I don't know, this wedding...
- What a fool you are, son!
- I don't like this wedding.
- Mummy...It is more hygienic.
Yes, and more expensive.
- Do you prefer one or two beds?
- Whatever Tarsicio says.
- We'll sleep better, apart.
- Different bedrooms?
She is right, besides,
I snore at night...
What's all the fuss?, anyway,
What is a bedroom for?
Where is the lounge?
Come, over here, please.
You've got the sofa here.
You can have it upholstered,
any colour you like.
- t's nice, isn't it?
- Yes.
Think about it: I get home, I am
wearing my dressing gown,...
- ...a cat.
- No cats!
Then I'll be reading the paper,
you'll come from the kitchen...
- Why from the kitchen?
- Well...we'll be listening to...
...the National Radio news.
- No, the gramole. Where is it?
- What about me?
- You'll live with us.
- You'll have your bedroom.
- It will have a nice view, I hope.
- Well...
- You miser!
- What happened?
- She hit me here.
- Who, Mari Pili?
- No, her mother.
What an animal!
The best thing is to put
the testicles in cold water.
Nobody mentioned views!
I am a lady, but if I weren't...!
What is dangerous, is you can
get "ortitis".
How am I going to put my balls
into the sink? What's an "ortitis?
Your balls swell up and
you can't have any children.
- Oh, well!
- Get on that stool.
So you...
- Your...foreskin...?
- What a beast you are!
Now I understand about
the twin beds.
- You are hurting me, animal!
- This is quick and easy.
You shall be able to, now!
Grab hold of it.
- How're you getting on, Tarsicio.
- Fine, fine.
Poor girl. What a honeymoon...
Grab hold of it!
- But...What for?
- Hold it firmly, don't be scared.
When I count three, you pull
backwards firmly, right?
One, two, three!
There it is, your foreskin.
How do you spell, "foreskin"?
"Phoreskin" or "foreskin"?
Look it up in the dictionary!
- Do you have any problems?
- Not at all.
That's enough! Enough!
What do I care if that fool
has problems or not?
Inspector, could you get a
doctor, or a practitioner?
- His wound is quite nasty.
- Be quiet!
Make a point: "Blasphemy"
Where were we?
You were interrogating the man
who looks like a "red".
I can only find "unscrew":
"To remove a screw".
Inspector, if you don't mind,
I can order a "paella",
A "paella"...I think...
A phone book.
- Does it hurt?
- A little.
Listen, Palomero, I would
like a "paella", right now.
For twenty, no, just for twelve.
Let's see, first, let's deal
with you plagiarism accusation.
Was Mr. Collazo told about
his son copying the play?
How could 1? I had to eat.
If I told him, there'd be no show,
1 told him I wouldn't be held...
...responsible, I wanted to get
the censorship's permission.
Is the show banned?
"The court of the Pharaoph"?
Absolutely banned.
Ask the censor. But it
was awarded a "nilopstat"...
Who awarded the "nilopstat"?
- That monk.
- What monk?
- Let me see the papers.
- Father, I've got them...
...at the theatre, in my habit.
A monk!
A monk!
What is a monk doing in this
pey? Come here, heretic!
Just a moment!
I want to confess!
- Later, my girl.
- No! I've commited a deadly sin.
- What are you going to confess?
- Confession secrecy.
- No, no! I shall confess her.
- All right! All right!
- Where can we go?
- Over there, behind the screen.
We sometimes use the screen
for certain interrogations.
- I have sinned.
- Tell me.
- Flesh sins?
- No, no.
It's about the "nilopstat".
When Corcuera enquired about
the "nilopstat",...
...Mr. Collazo, called his
friend, the Prior,...
...and he sent us Brother José,
that is, the monk.
The night Tarsicio,
my fiance, got home...
- Whose home?
- Mine.
My mother runs a pension,
they are all artists.
I have told you a thousand
times not to rehearse here!
Go to your rooms, I don't
want to see you here!
- Good night.
- Good night.
This is Brother José,...
...he is here to overlook my
show, give him a room.
There are no rooms free.
Mari Pili! Mari Pili!
Mari Pili...
- What are you doing here?
- This is Brother José. My fiancee.
He is here to overlook my play,
with Corcuera.
Corcuera, our problems with
censorship are over.
- Where can we put you?
- He can have my room.
I'll sleep with you.
Then go and change the sheets.
Come this way.
No, don't worry.
No, you are not going!
This is a humble house.
Goin.
Pardon?
Oh! The second on the left.
- Corcuera isn't here yet.
- He won't take long.
- With a monk here...
- Nothing!
Until he marries, I'll keep
an eye on him.
- Tell me when Corcuera comes.
- A monk has arrived.
Look, look.
- What is this?
- It's a hair shirt.
They wear it like this, and
if they feel temptation...
How terrible! Put it away!
Excuse me.
Tarsicio says you would
like to speak to me.
Yes, yes.
You see, I am reading the play
with utmost interest, and...
...have made some changes.
Of course, there's
always things to change.
But, it has all been crossed out!
- Yes, I started crossing out...
- Dinner is at ten.
No, I...
- At ten.
Let's do something...
...I know, just read once,
it can maybe...
...seem, well,...vulgar.
Good night.
You jumped
through the window and...
...off to "copulate".
- l don't understand.
- You began to fornicate.
You know what? You re so rude!
I am very decent, how
could I do that with a...
- ...man who is a saint?
- There was no fornication?
What an obsession! You only
think about the sixth.
There was nothing.
Besides, Brother José
ran back to his convent.
- He ran back?
- To avoid temptation.
But, last night he was
singing in the show, wasn't he?
That's what
I'm trying to get to,...
...sorry, I'm not used to...
No, no, kneel down!
Kneel down!
Come on, continue.
I am newly wed,
to Pitufar,...
...and I am in my nuptial bed.
The moonlight strucks
the Nile,...
...the sacred ibis,
crossed the skies.
Make it greener!
What a tree you're making!
That's where the coconuts go,
green will be painted later.
Tarsicio...
- Where can he be?
- l don't know.
Where is José the Chaste?
Come on, it's your turn!
Come on, leave that there.
He is here.
- Come on!
- I'm coming, I'm coming!
"Three widows, in Thebes,
they want to penetrate."
I know it.
Three widows, in Thebes,
they want to penetrate them.
I swear that coarseness is not
written here. Come up, please.
Last night, he did know it.
- Brother, read it yourself.
- Yes, read it.
- The music too?
- With music, even better!
Three widows at Thebes,
they want to penetrate.
The door is open,
they can come in.
Ready, maestro.
The door is open,
they can come in.
In Egypt, when a maiden
gets married, three widows,...
...come to show her
the duties she will have.
Don't cross that out, what's
wrong with this scene?
Health for the maiden,...
...pretty as daylight.
May Anubis protect you,
and Osiris bless you.
The newly wed is honest, she
knows nothing about marriage,...
...80, some widows show her.
Don't croos it out.
Come and see.
To go from single to married,
some preparation you shall need,...
...listen to us, we are widows,
and our duties we know, indeed.
It is hard, and that is why,
I can assure you,...
...that very soon, very soon,
you shall learn. The right...
The right.
The right the husband has
over his wife.
You mustn't deny anything to
your husband, after the wedding...
...because as he enters the house
his authority is entering.
And though at the beginning
you might cry,...
...and though he may be tough,
very tough,...
...if you go along with him,
he'll come down, eventually.
Be hard working, be skilful, make
him happy, always willing...
...move along with him, so he...
...gets what he wants.
Take care of him, spoil him,...
...don't say no to him,...
...and with those few moral
hints we are giving you,...
...you'll see how your husband
is happy indeed.
Be hard working, be skilful, make
him happy, always willing...
- Move along...
- ...80 he...
...gets what he wants.
Take care of him, spoil him,
don't say no to him.
Really?
Really!
Did you see that? On stage, with
those clothes, it's almost like...
...a catechism for newly weds.
Don't you doubt it!
Well done!
See you tomorrow, beauties!
Maestro, just a few
minutes rest.
So you can see how
I follow your advice,...
...look,...
...this scene...out!
The scene with the widows,out.
- What about this part...?
- You must get to the "point"...
...she doesn't know about the
arrow.
She ignores he's crippled.
Let's see...
Now you "attack" with
"you don't love me."
Let's go.
You don't love me. I can't see
a flame in your eyes.
Gods, perform a miracle!
No, it's not that! And you, Mari
Pili, be more passionate.
- But I'm frustrated...
- Haven't you seen...?
This is how your beloved
wife loves you, this is how!
Fire! Passion! And you,
Mr. Tarsicio, when you say...
..."Gods, perform a miracle!",
don't look at her, it's apart.
It's only he doesn't want
to "go limp."
Bugles, please.
What is that, my beloved?
It's my troops! They are calling!
Happier! Happy to leave the bed!
- Don't go!
- I must! What else?
- l can't help it.
- l can't help it, I'm leaving!
I must! The code says so!
- Where is José the Chaste?
- He's gone to fill the bottle.
Well...I'll play José the Chaste.
Ma'am must say how she will
like to be entertained.
- Come here, sit by me.
- But...? You hold my arm.
I grant you permission.
What if the master comes?
He won't, he's busy.
Well... then... I see.
- Look into my eyes!
- I get confused if I do!
Why doesn't Brother José do it
until Antonio comes back?
Great idea!
With his voice!
- l don't know how to do this.
- Don't be silly!
Sit down, I'll tell you how.
You only have to say:...
..."l am here."
"I am here."
Nearer.
- God of Israel.
- I, with my slave, Rachel,...
- ...Saw you...
- Where?
In Aaran, coming out of the spa.
Then you must have seen me
wearing Adan's habit.
Louder, more manly,
don't be afraid!
- How embarrassing!
- l felt the same way,...
...for I looked quite a while.
But I was later fine.
Of course.
So tell me, young hebrew...
...though it is not polite to ask...
- ...are you in love?
- I, ma'am... That is very rude.
Hold him!
Why?
I'm deeply embarrased, don't you
know I'm José the Chaste?"
Very good!
Maestro, the music!
I am the Chaste,
I am the Chaste...
Singing? No way!
This is just too much!
No, no! Goodbye.
Where are you going?
Please, don't go! Come back!
Don't be afraid,...
...everything's OK!
So he run away.
We looked at eachother
and said: Bro. José is...
What's important is my
play, though it is...
...an operetta, it is a very
Spanish one.
- Didn't it happen in Holy Land?
- Where is Brother José?
- In the kitchen garden, digging.
- But, do you really dig?
Yes, we do.
1 am too old to dig any more,
but look at my blisters.
That's the end of digging for
you. The prisoners can do it.
- What prisoners?
- The political ones...
- ...just like in Cuelgamuros.
- The prisoners can dig in the...
...garden, while that monk
plays José the Chaste.
Yes, very good.
- Tarsicio says he is handsome.
- His voice, especially.
Look! He's coming.
We will have a wonderful "Valle
de los Caidos", best in the world.
Take your hood off.
We want no false shyness.
Brother José, why did you
leave the theatre?
- l was running away from flesh.
- That's nice!
Very nice!
Poor old Church, her
own soldiers quiting...
...the fight against the devil,
the world and the flesh!
We must fight, my friend!
Send me to China, I'll lose
my blood without hesitation!
Let China alone!
This is your mission land.
- It is a beautiufl role.
- A chant to chastity.
It says: "l am the Chaste,
I am the Chaste..."
Thats fine!
Go on, pack your suitcase,
and off to sing!
I am the chaste,
I am the chaste,...
...I am José the Chaste.
A shepherd I was, and as a
child I cared for the shhep.
Up in the mountain, down
in the meadow, weren't you...
...perturbed by loneliness,
by a feeling of being loved...
...that urged you...to love?
I used to play the flute,
and the flageolet,...
...while goats around me
did some cabriolets.
1 did not think of love,
for a sin it was,...
...and also, very busy I was...
...keeping my eyes on
the lambs, carefully...
...keeping them from running.
Such innocence, so sweet,
is hard to find in a man indeed!
Such an honest lad, I
would surely like to have.
- For yourself?
- Yes, for myself.
Because I, like you, are thus.
Come, José, come here...
...for itis love
what I want to explain.
I think love should
be tasty...
...Oh, hebrew! it must
be the bite of some creature!
A creature that tickles you,
all over the place,...
..and lights up desire in ones's
chest and terrible shocks, we feel.
I don't know what it is, at those
things I am still at "A",...
...please, sir, don't you get near
me, because it is very hot.
Let me say sweet
words to you,...
...let me tie you with
sweet ribbons,...
...let me see my
eyes in yours,...
...let your arms be
a chain of love.
Let me go, for Osiris's sake,
with you I get disturbed!
Let me go, for Libis and Anubis!
The love you beg for,
in vain you crave for.
Leave me and don't
go in by "u...u...uvis".
- l want you, José to come!
- Don't hold my cape...
José, come!
This is a clear sign of
lustfulness.
Go away, let me go!
Don't take my cape any more.
Look at me, love me!
Love is pleasure and happiness!
Let me go. Go away!
Or the cape, you will tear!
- Pepito...
- l repeat...let me go, let me go..!
Why?
Because I am the Chaste,
I am the Chaste, I am...
...Joseeeé the Chaste!
The "paella" is here.
Leave it on there.
José the Chaste, right?
Father, you are disturbed!
The Church never takes
justice into her own hands...
...even the "Inquisition" sent
prisoners to the "secular board"...
- ...that is, to us.
- Well, let's eat.
Is it chicken and seafood?
Let go, man!
Leave room for the cutlery.
It has everything, it looks
wonderful!
For goodness sake, stop pushing!
Roque, tell them to stop!
Yes, ma'am. Ramirez!
All against the wall!
Ramirez, your gun!
No, Tarsicio, don't!
Isn't the "paella" for all the
company?
- If we don't all go, I won't go.
- How foolish.
- Mum, tell her to come.
- Come, girl.
This is a private dinner,
tell him to stay.
Look at him!
What a good code,
this Camorra is!
- Mari Pili, come, don't be silly.
- l said no!
Well, don't.
You can leave, we will serve
ourselves, won't we, Father?
If there is trust, we
need no formality.
Thank you, Mr. Roque.
- You haven't said your name.
- Vicente.
- This is God's doing.
- Do you like it?
I can't understand atheists, if
there were no God, how could...
- ...there be such delicious things
- Do you like lobster?
What about crabs?
And lobster? And sea cow?
With all this mess,
I forgot to bless the food.
You eat like a horse.
Doesn't he, Vicente?
- What's wrong with the play?
- Do I act like a horse?
I have heard the only thing, is
the alussion to the Generalisimo.
Vicente, could you put the
screen? They are all staring...
- ...and they make me nervous.
- Of course, right now.
Ramirez, guards the screen.
Ma'am, excuse me, but
that about the "Babylon"...
Or wasn't it scandalous
with the "Babylon"?
Drink, drink my lord,
the tasty wine of Antina.
Drink and rest, while
the new day comes.
Drink the tasty wine,...
...golden tasty wine,...
...from your royal cellars,
my good slave.
If you wish to be sung to,
while you sleep, from Ninive...
...beautiful songs of
love,...
...pretty women, who grant
pleasures, will come...
...to sing their sweet song.
From Ninive,
from Queen Sandanapolo,...
This is a carnal
monstruosity.
...here we come.
To the sound of a thousand
melancholic songs,...
...the country is weeping.
As we let our cymbals
be heard,...
...we arrive there
with our Babylonian ways.
Walking, arriving,
breaking this song.
Singing, singing,
moving our "pin pan pon"
A Babylonian song
I shall sing.
A pharaonic court will
listen to you.
The women from Babylon,...
...are the most ardent
love can create,...
...they have a samaritan soul,...
...and for their fire, they
are from Galilee.
When they sigh, voluptuous,...
...the Babylonian dies of love,...
...and when they sing, a kiss on
every note, they lay.
Ay, bal...Ay, ba!
Ay, Babylonian how I'm fainting!
Ay, bal...Ay, ba!
Ay, vamoose to Judea!
Ay, bal...Ay, bal...
Ay, vamoose over there!
As Babylonian females,...
...no other females you shall
find, so insinuating,...
...her eyes, carry the
flame of love,...
...their lips search
for loving lips.
Like palmtrees, in the breeze,
their bodies they swing...
...their beautiful bodies,...
...whispering to the ardent air,...
...the black silk of their hair.
Ay, bal...Ay, ba!
Ay, babylonian, how I'm fainting!
Ay, bal...Ay, ba!
Ay, vamoose to Judea!
Ay, bal...Ay, bal...
Ay, vamoose over there!
And all this was accompanied
by their movements...
Even I had an incredible
erection.
I'm not surprised the
public protested!
I'm not sure if they did protest.
They did roar, though.
That's what I say!
A clear delight in coarsness.
You are exaggerating once again,
I must admit the music is,...
...very insinuating.
1, myself, there were days, after
rehearsing, when I got home,...
Well, my husband knows best...
And if you get carried away
with the music, you know...
Of course I know.
A woman with your...
...artistic sensitivity...
I play the bandurria myself.
Let's see, the monk, that is
the Chaste, is seduced by...
- ...Tarsicio's fiancee?
- No, I told you,...
- ..he doesn't "screw" her.
- And the queen, that's me,...
...hotices the slave is
very handsome.
To judge and to sentence,...
...I must know what happened,
so you must act, what...
...in your chamber you
were getting at.
I was very sad,
Weeping I was,...
...for I didn't know,
for I didn't know...
...I was lacking something.
I went in to entertain her,
and she looked at me.
I looked down, I looked down,
and she came close to me.
Having one so pretty,
looking at you like that,...
...you felt I don't know what,...
...such a sweet sensation,...
...that with your arms you did,
as I am doing, indeed.
Oh, ma'am! No, ma'am!
What a way of holding one!
Well, ma'am if all are
like Pitufar's...
I just think, ma'am,...
...this is not going to
end up badly.
You see, if I don't understand,...
...I cannot sentence anyone.
I can understand your
interest,...
...but this is abusing.
I'm afraid that
while I'm here,...
...something will happen
to me,...
...and so my praised chastity,
forever lost, shall be.
- Come to me, I plead.
- Don't reject my love.
- l, as your queen demand it.
- But he is my slave!
My Lord! If I'm too scared of
one, how can I dare with two!
Come here, look at me,...
...don't feel so chaste, José.
Caresses and warmth, you
will find in my arms.
Come to me, and both like this,
shall live on an eternal love.
- This is a waltz.
- It is glorifying adultery!
That's enough! I will
take charge of José,...
- ...you see?
- My husband bought him,...
...to serve only me.
- Come and take him!
He is mine!
- Mistress!
- Queen!
I'll jump put of the window,
I don't know what to do!
- Don't jump!
- Don't jump!
See what the monk
is able of doing.
Brother José.
Baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
Oh! How terrible!
Something...terrible!
An enormous "apparatus".
The poor thing had got excited
with the hugging and squeezing...
- It was...
- Don't exagerate.
No, Roque, I had never
seen anything like it.
So, the boy, I mean,
the monk...
...chaster than anyone, instead
of taking advantage, hid away.
1 tell you this, so you can
see he didn't sin.
It's is no big deal.
Men in the Church,...
...who were not crippled,
in human nature,...
...practised chastity,
in many different ways.
- When they felt tempted...
- What did they do?
- Yes, what did they do?
- Yes, go on.
They put their male member in
bramble bushes, with thistles...
What beasts! What balls!,
I mean.
- You need to be brave, don't you?
- Saints...you know.
A woman saint, when tempted
by the devil...
...would put hot coal in her...
- You know what I mean.
- Where did you read that?
I heard it in some
spiritual exercises.
Regarding size, I must
defend the army's.
The best equipped, are
those in the service corps.
Artillery also has
some good examples.
- l used to have a friend who...
- Dad. Dad, come here.
They won't want "paella".
The monk hugs Mari Pili.
- Of course, as she saw his tail!
- Mum, she is not faithful.
Nobody will deceive my son!
Let me.
Come here, liar,...
...or is your
cheekyness unlimited?
Come and confess your sins,
you despicable thing!
- Leave him, beast!
- What...?
- Come.
- No, no, ouch!
With all the clothes ready...
...the reception booked,
the honeymoon payed for!
Let her keep her monk.
No sin did she have.
It is all the lesser
evil's fault.
What do you mean?
I have done this for charity,
to avoid further evil.
What further evil? We all
lived in God's grace...
...until you got here!
I don't mean Tarsicio and
his parents, but Mari...
...miss Mari Pili and all those
poor people who live at the inn.
It was Christmas.
If you leave, the show
will be put off. In which case...
How will these unfortunate
guests pay?
What keeps them going
is the hope that some day...
...a businessman might see them
and emply them.
Do you also want to
be employed?
As I am going to marry.
Let's hope this time it's true.
I haven't been lucky
with my boyfriends.
- She is a martyr, brother José.
- Be quiet, mum!
Tell him. You shall se how
she deserves to be on an altar.
- Where are you going?
- To Vallecas.
There is a Christmas contest,
and they give out bags!
What is the play?
I shall recite,
and Antofiito will sing.
And the "three graces" will
sing a carol to Baby Jesus.
This brasier doesn't heat up.
- Didn't you have to get "turrén"?
- I had forgotten!
- Go down, the shop will close.
- Do you like "guirlache"?
No, I don't, they make it
with carob beans.
They make the other one
with sweet potatoes.
Then I won't have "turrén."
1 won't be ripped off.
Then forget lentils too, or do
really think they grow stones?
- Oh, don't they?
- No, it's so they weigh more.
You don't hear of anything
in the convent, do you?
- Pictures?
- Yes.
My mother wants me
to speak about my love failures.
My first boyfriend.
Poor thing.
Bloody wars!
I don't know whether to tell
you, it's so umpleasant...
He died at a...brothel.
- Deadly sin, of course.
- It might ve been my fault,...
...I didn't let him do anything
to me, so he had to go there.
- Horacio.
- Did he die too?
No. He said we were going to
buy a machine to stitch...
...and left me with
no money.
- How unconsiderate.
- A rogue.
And Arturo. He was first
in competitive examinations.
- An intelectual, then?
- A fool.
Can you see this picture?
It's the last one we have.
After this, we went on
the boat ride,...
...the one which turns over
completely if you do it properly.
Well, when we were turning,
he said: "Without holding on."
He just had time to say some-
thing about centrifugal force.
- He fell off.
- He was thrown out,...
...hitting a man who was riding
on the "flying chairs".
It was terrible.
- You know what?
- The lentils!
This is the last year...
..."Franquito" will eat his
"turrén" a this palace, El Pardo.
Stop, don't.
I'm sure you dropped the
lentils on purpose.
Why would I do that?
You won't deceive me, it was
to see her breasts.
When women lean down, they
leave everything in sight.
- Why did you choose the church.
- l didn't.
During the military service,
I was part of a shooting patrol,...
- ...as I didn't kill...
- l see!
Besides lustful,
you are a pacifist!
They sent me to some castle,
and then to the convent.
Everything is coming out now!
On top of it you say you started
singing to avoid futher evil.
Yes, and I'm sure God
will forgive me.
That's what you think!
God will never forgive you!
Neither will I! That's all we
need, for God's pardon...
...to be at the beck and call
of every sinner.
Father, we have taken down
everything, so you can avoid...
- ...that about confession secrecy.
- That's fine.
Very good, Father.
Who was listening to the
radio, under the blankets?
- l don't know, I couldn't see.
- I will help you.
Let's go on with the show.
Where were we?
This lady and that one, were
squeezing the monk.
Mr. Ramirez!
- Nobody is squeezed in my show!
- That must va been "red"...
- ...Corcuera's version.
- That's a lie!
Quiet!
- Please, go on.
- Yes, Inspector.
José the Chaste,
goes out the window...
...where does the window lead?
To the gardens where
the Pharaoph sleeps.
He wakes up, and José the
Chaste,...
I have seen in my dreams,
women in strange clothing...
...who wave their
hands at me,...
...changing their postures.
Downwards, from the waist,
everything they moved,...
...and upwards from the
waist, everything they showed.
What a pleasure to see them
dance, I never saw such a thing.
I know what you saw,
it was this.
For Anubis, For Osiris,
that is what I dreamt!
What a shock! How amazing!
What women, how
tasty they are.
Those three women
you are looking at...
...will dance from now on
the restless "garrotin".
When I look at your head,...
...and the line of your hair,...
...I feel it coming up and
going down,...
...it's the blood all over again.
When I look at your head,...
...and your hair line,...
...I feel it going up
and coming down,...
...it's the blood all over again.
Do you want to bet?
I bet you I have...
...I have a little something...
...that Pitufar doesn't have...
Do you want to bet?
I bet you I have...
...I have a little something...
...that he doesn't and can't have.
This is going too far!
But look! Your feet
move along with it!
- Very inspiring music.
- It was my son who wrote it!
Move, damn you!
I'm sorry, I didn't see you.
With your talent...
Then we can do it again!
And I will direct it, so
the priest doesn't get angry.
If it is only for
a few people,...
...and taht Corcuera is
arrested beforehand,...
Speaking about arrests,...
...I think many people are
going to be arrested here.
And not due to the show, which
apart from a few things like...
- ...the Caudillo and the Moors.
- The Moors don't appear.
You be quiet!
- Ramirez, the screen.
- Out!
The arrested people.
- Where is my daughter?
- Mummy.
All the arrested, in line.
See how right I was?
You won't even marry that one.
- Quiet, mum!
- How unfortunate I am!
So many sacrifices, and this
girl will be a spinster!
- Will you be quiet?
- Come on!
- l told you! You will...!
- Be quiet. The radio!
You are lucky my hand is hurt.
Now, let's see...
...who has the guts,...
- I'm sorry, Father.
- Go on.
...to listen with me present,
"Independent Spanish Radio".
Come on, step forward!
Soit'syou...?
And you re wearing a habit too...
Is it for some pious promise?
I see, so you're not going to
take your habit off...
...until the Caudillo
dies, is that so?
Didn't I tell you the show
had nothing to do with it?
The problem is that pension.
What about the printing house?
What printing house?
Haven't they discovered a
clandestine printing house?
We shall find it!
Are you speaking to
me, Bolshevik?
- Go on, speak!
~Just a moment...
If I can have a drink,
1 will tell you everything.
A drink?
I might be a Bolshevik, but
he is an anarchist.
An anar...? Ramirez,
fetch me the dictionary!
Yes, sir, he told me in his
own house, on New Year's Eve.
Don't listen to him, Vicente.
"Anarchist: in agreement with
the supression of all powers."
- Who, me?
- Yes! Anarchist!
You, a Bolshevik, and
1, an anarchist, and proud of it.
- What about you?
- Stop speaking of politics,...
...come on, the chorus girls.
To a world with no
God and no masters.
To a society where nobody
exploits, or is exploited.
To free love.
Mr. Roque, the chorus
girls are over there.
How come you be an anarchist?
You, with this house,...
...common thieves,
power stations, colonizers...
I am a sentimental anarchist.
- What were you saying...?
- If you like, you can...
- ...go to bed with them.
- That would be wonderful.
What if they are sisters,
that would be a bigger sin...
Comic christian ways.
Look and admire this chorus
girls, touch, see the flesh.
My wife can see me.
It will be my turn later.
An anarchist, prostituting
three decent women.
Here. Bolshevik...
Keep my wife entertained.
- There are no manners here.
- What is she like?
Very vulgar. She won't have
the food served, or the silver...
...polished...We servants have
more class than she does.
- What about the son?
- Pretty dumb. And the fiancee...!
I think she is the daughter of
some actress, who runs a pension.
Hey! Fuck you!
Oh, wonderful world,
where is it?
Your thighs are slippery
as fish...
- Look, look.
- What's going on here?
Can't you see? Playing "Show
White and the seven dwarfs".
Mum!
- Where is your fiance?
- Over there.
I am very strict until you
get married, but not dancing...
...with your fiance on a night
like this...
Yes, but he can't...
Can you dance?
- How silly!
- Of course, as a soldier.
That's right, before, in the army.
- Why don't we dance?
- The habit...
Once in a while..., besides
it's New Year's Eve.
- You are a good dancer!
- No, I forgot how to do it.
This is like riding a bike,
once you've learnt.
Before being a monk, what
did you like dancing?
Tango. I prefered tango.
- We'll put one on later.
- l like "La Comparsita".
That's a beautiful one!
You know what?
The rehearsals should go
on forever.
Why?
Because you wouldn't go back
to the convent.
Then, wouldn't you marry
Mr. Tarsicio?
But...
- Leave her...
- But...
Yes, that way you won't be able
to say I'm clumsy at dancing.
Clumsy at dancing?
Come here, honey,
just let yourself go!
Can you dance or not?
This is bloody funny!
Mr. Roque,
there's been a mistake,...
...it's 300 pesetas, each one.
Just a moment. Let's see if you
are a real anarchist.
Your son is kissing a man,
on the lips.
- He's done it again!
- l can't understand you.
Yes! He's got this thing...
He had to leave the boy scouts,
because in the camp...
I thought with this girl, he'd...
- Aren't you shocked?
- What can I do? It's innate.
So, you are an anarchist.
And for free love.
Vicente, this was done to
me on the trenches,...
...defending Spain!
The Bolshevik's declaration,
forget it.
Go home, man.
Father.
Father!
- We are all going.
- Take your hat, go home.
I fell asleep.
That's what happens when you
put your trust in these fools.
It's true, they are just
poor resentful people.
Wrap yourself warmly,
or you ll get cold.
Call me, Vicente.
Don't bother coming with us,
you're in pyjamas.
Why don't you come
home tomorrow?
You can with no problem,
Roque will be away.
- Come on, Tarsicio.
- Come on, Roberto.
- No, you go with them!
- Dad!
Where are those people going?
Everybody there!
And you, scoundrel, you ve
got to confess a few little sins.
- Do you love me José?
- l do.
I'm going to quit church life.
Let's see if you marry this one.
Roberto is a good friend of mine.
- Would you like some breakfast.
- l feel like buns.
Roberto hasn't listened to the
radio, or done anything wrong.
- Vicente can tell you.
~Just as the rest...
...sulting the Caudillo,
and the Moorish guards.
lllegal association with
subversive purposes. Members...
...of masonry, jews, and
communists.
lllegal propaganda, printed in
a clandestine printing house.
- Did you find the printing house?
- As soon as I...
Although my hand is hurt...
They'll get 30 years...
- ..at least.
- Roberto doesn't live at the inn.
"Delinquency Law" can be
applied in this case.
Get in the car,
you must be tired.
- Father, where are you going?
- I should say mass.
Get in, so we can all listen,
it's good to have a mass.
Don't forget to come
home and have lunch.
Yes, that way you can
entertain, while I'm away.
That's nice! Who can I
entertain?
You must write, that's your task.
Why don't you write "Marina"?
You'd be successful.
I heard they like it a lot
at El Pardo, Franco's home.
By the way, how does the one
with José the Chaste end?
Very nicely, the pharaoph,
names Jose viceroy.
Glory, glory to our
great viceroy!
Glory to the king!
Come with me.
Roberto, come and say hello.
Come on, in!
Police! Come on!
That one, that one!
Quiet. It's all alright.
Police!
You, that way!
You, follow me!
"Ay, bal..ay,ba!
Ay, babylonian how I'm fainting!
Ay, bal...Ay, ba!
Ay, vamoose to Judea!
Ay, bal...Ay, ba!
Ay, vamoose over there!
There are no other females...
...as the ones in Babylon,
so insinuating...
...in her eyes, the flame
of love is burning...
...their lips longing
for loving kisses.
Like palm trees, they swing,
and dance,...
...their beautiful bodies,
moving in the ardent breeze...
...and the black silk of their hair.
Ay, bal...Ay, ba!
Ay, babylonian how I m fainting!
- But sir...
- Out! Out!
Victory,
victory for the winner!
From Assyria to Memphis,
calmness struck.
Victory! Victory!
Love and pleasures!
May Osiris protect
the Great Pharaoph.
May Osiris protect
the Great Pharaoph.
Inspector, we have 50
held up in the cell.
- God be praised!
- Forever, be praised.
- Resistance to authority?
- No, Inspector...
...a colleague has...
er...with his horse...
Monarchic conspiration?
...shooting among Falangists,
a communist conspiracy?
No, sir, it is just a first
performance.
It is shameful, Inspector!
You must understand one can't...
...win a war, one doesn't
crusade to get this result.
- Were you on duty?
- Yes, sir.
Then speak, go on.
The play takes place in Egypt,
it's an operetta.
The curtain goes up, and you see
a square crowded with Egyptians.
Victory, victory,
for the winner!
From Assyria to Memphis,
calmness struck.
Victory! Victory!
Love and pleasures!
May Osiris protect
the Great Pharaoph.
May Osiris protect
the Great Pharaoph.
Thank you, beloved people,
keep the cheers,...
...until the brave General
reaches Memphis.
Pitufar! Pitufar!
Glory to Pitufar!
Glory to Pitufar!
The Great Priest is
coming here,...
...let him come out
from the temple of Isis.
- Hello.
- Take a seat.
Good night.
Chaste maiden,
purer than lotus,...
...which offers its flower,
on the bank of the Nile.
She leaves her bed, and
impatiently waits...
...for her belicous spouse,
his kisses, his love.
You will be Pitufar the
Brave's partner...
...he, the winner in 100 battles,
at Memphis will arrive.
Pitufar!
Pitufar!
Glory to Pitufar!
From Thebes I come,
there I was born,...
...the lady of Thebes is
what they call me.
A virgin she is.
A virgin she is.
When in Thebes they say it,
in Thebes they know it.
In the temple of Isis
she was purified,...
...and bathed in
Nile waters.
See how the maiden...
...with her pure face,
lacks absolutely...
...hothing.
You will be the wife
of a noble knight.
Your slave,
will congratulate you.
You will be the wife
of a noble knight,...
...and the people of Egypt,
will congratulate you.
In the temple of Isis,
she was purified.
In Nile waters,
bathed she has.
- Long live Pitufar!
- Hurrah!
To the sound of trumpets...
...the leader comes,
always as a winner.
They are laughing at the
"Caudillo", there's no doubt!
Do they refer to Generalisimo
Franco in the play?
Wait, wait.
This is very unusual.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
- Here is all that is banned.
- Only this.
"J", in my theatre, only
permitted plays are performed...
...permitted by the Church,
the Unions...
...and above all, Generalisimo's
ideals.
So that play...
Juan José Dicenta, Joaquin.
~Jiménez, Juan Ramén.
- That's not a play, it's a name.
I write down all that sounds
"left wing" in my file, is it OK?
- I think that's great.
- Ortega y Gasset, José.
He comes under "J" because of
his name, it is easier.
- Well done.
- Hemingway, Ernest.
- Under "J".
- Where else? Under "E"?
May Osiris protect the
Great Pharaoph!
Brave Pitufar,
my arms await you.
Cheers, oh sovereign,
cheers to all.
Cheers! Cheers!
My wife, for your
braveness, I will grant you...
...pretty is the maiden,
treasure of candour.
- Horror!
- Horror!
Our sir is not in
the mood for maidens.
I was wounded in battle,
I am not fit to marry.
But my sovereign orders me so...
...then, let it be so.
- Here is the maiden.
- Sir...
How beautiful she is!
Damn arrow...!
Look where it hit!
- The temple awaits us.
- Let's go without delay!
After you marry...
you will be crowned.
You will be crowned.
Do you understand?
They're insinuating the "Caudillo
will be king, aren't they?
- The arrow comes first.
- What was that?
- The arrow that was shot to...
- His genitals, Ramirez...
- ...his genitals, just say it.
- Well, yes.
That about crowning him, has a
double meaning, it's doggin' him.
Bastard!
The "Caudillo", a bastard!
How could you consent to that?
Get whoever is in charge!
Ramirez, woe betide!
No, but, er...the Caudillo...
in the play,...er...
...the one who is wounded,...
there..., he is called Pitufar.
The play goes against the most
sacred: virginity,...
...chastity, matrimony, even the
clergy... Even the clergy!
All just thrawn
and trodden over.
No, here, give it to me.
- You know what?
- Yes? Speak.
I think the "mason- jews"
are behind all this.
Come on! Don't...
This is not fair!
Good night, Inspector.
This is surely a mistake.
- He is in charge!
- Of course!
- A cigar, Inspector?
- Write down: " Attempt to bribe."
Me...? Bribing...?
Look!
Look!
A kilo and a half of shrapnel!
Battle of Brunete!
- Look!
- Show him your ID, dad.
Yes.
The ID.
Let me see!
- Take back what you said!
- But, it's true.
My husband is in charge
of the show.
Sorry, ma'am.
Coffee!
I can't work without one.
Why did they bring you here?
- Please, tell me.
- Yes, sir.
As every yeat,...
No, I'll start from the beginning.
One of my many enterprises,
deals in construction.
This is why, well,
let me explain,...
...l am in excellent terms with
the Prior...
...at the St. Donate convent...
...in Pefiuela del Campeador.
A saintly man.
He will be sanctified.
The poor also deserve
a decent home!
So, I built some cheap
houses somewhere else,...
...80 we could close the estate,
and build on it a residential...
...area, this way, the monastery,
would stop begging for money.
Very good!
The pork is just right, and
Mari Pili and Tarsicio...
- ...are not here yet.
- The pork is ready!
Let them eat it reheated.
Pork is sacred for me.
Though it is no longer binding,
we follow the tradition,...
...once a week, we have
an only course.
In spite of having been so
hungry in the front, living on...
...sardines, I am still ready to
sacrifice myself for Spain's sake.
It is a sentimental matter,
but, it must be pork.
Besides, we have more in
our country estate in Segovia.
It smells delicious!
What about the show?
What will you put on this year?
This year, Tarsicio wants
to surprise us.
The boy is trying hard, he
doesn't want to be like Peman,..
...he tore all the books where
he kept his verses.
We found him a very good
singing teacher.
Very expensive!
- He should study.
- What for? Having money...
- To hold a conversation.
- Roque, vocation is sacred.
So, playing the tambourine in a
student's group is a vocation?
- I'm sorry. Hello, Father.
- Hello, Mari Pili.
- It's Tarsicio's fault.
- His motorbike, I bet.
- Did he finish writing the novel?
- Tarsicio? No way!
He started going to the river,
to listen to the visitors...
- ..but he didn't get any ideas.
- They're getting married in Oct.
Well done. Long engagements
are too dangerous.
Although, in Tarsicio's case,
with his firm christian faith...
They met at Catholic Action,
didn't they?
No, they got together through
the operetta.
What happened at the
Author's Society?
We didn't go to the Author's
Society to choose an operetta...
...we went to the Intellectual
Property Register Office...
...to write down something
he says he has written.
He wrote an operetta?
Music and lyrics.
That's right! Music and lyrics
by Tarsicio Collazo, an operetta.
"Joseph, sold by his brothers."
Plagiarism!
He copied it from one called:
"The court of the Pharaoph".
Lyrics by Perrin y Palacios,
and music by Lleé.
It is my play!
You tell him, Mari Pili.
- He says it's his play.
- I swear! I'm sorry, Father.
1 will swear it on the
Holy Scripts.
In the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Ghost!
This man is not a man,
he is a monster!
You boast about being the author
of this rubbish, but you aren't.
- He is a failure of Satan!
- Hey, I am a good catholic!
But if we are going to insult...
Why are you here, anyway?
- Yes! That's right!
- Apart from being an Ethics...
...Professor in secondary,
I am a censor.
"A member of the censorship
comittee for showbusiness."
Why didn't you say so before?
Roque Collazo, to serve you.
You must have noticed it was
a charity performance.
All charges are on me,
and the profits go to...
- ...St. Donate's convent.
- Charity? Despicable I'd say!
And plagiarism too!
According to...
- ...him.
- lidefonso Corcuera.
Wait a minute,
it isn't plagiarism.
Only inspired in the Holy Scripts,
what I have told is the...
- ...story of Joseph the Chaste.
- Yes, of course.
That is the plot, my son, but
what about the irony and...
...the cruel delight in coarsness,
or the boldness of the gestures?
- That is Corcuera's doing.
- He looks like a "Red".
I have always
been a good person.
Your ID.
- l haven't one, sir.
- So, you have no papers?
Ramirez, check his record.
But, Father, how could I write
an indecent play...
...when mummy and my
fiancee are in it?
I can't believe it! You are far
too young to have this son.
Don't flatter me,
he is my husband's son.
- I was married twice.
- Great.
A cup of coffee, ma'am?
Thank you, very kind.
- Soprano?
~Just a keen amateur.
All my fault, she retired
when we married.
We put on these shows to make
up for it, for the artist.
Inspector...
...stop flattering and
resume the interrogation.
But he's done no harm.
It's only the flattery expected
from a Spanish gentleman.
- You were saying it was...
- Corcuera.
Ubtil he butt in,
the play was running smoothly.
- According to moral standards.
- Yes, besides acting as...
...Pitufar, I have been
scene director, ask my fiancee.
Yes.
- Until Corcuera butt in.
- He didn't direct the play...
- ...as an operetta.
- It was while you directed it.
I remember the entrance to the
temple, beautiful, the characters...
...were like...Easter characters,
they were...
...like Salzillo's figures.
And that is considering we
rehearsed in an awful stockroom.
I am sorry, I didn't mean...
Mr. Collazo is in many
businesses, all of them legal.
Don't think, he is in the
black market, Inspector.
It just wasn't an appropiate
place for the scenic arts.
- How come you arrive now?
- Public transport...
- Come on! Come on!
- Quick, please!
- They have no experience.
- You are right, Corcuera.
The ceremony is over now.
He is coming, my lady,
the great Pitufar.
Welcome, well wed,
let's hope it is for good.
May the gods grant you
a long life and goodness.
- Sir...
- Sublime Queen,...
- ...many thanks.
- Not at all.
Osiris, grant the wife
whatever she may need.
I don't know whether it's " Aida"
or the "Court of the Pharaoph".
Keep on working.
- Lord, let's go.
- Let's go.
May the gods grant you a long
and prosperous life.
Tarsicio.
I don't want you making a fool
of yourself, let the tenor sing.
- Can't I sing?
- That's what you pay him for.
Pueyo, take over my role, please,
I'm looking at some sketches.
Hail, Lota,...
...hail Lota, so pure and pretty.
Handsome flower...
...handsome flower of my house.
You shall be the queen
of my heart,...
...good for me, you shall be.
Hail, Lota, so pure and pretty,...
...handsome flower of my house.
Noble spouse, so brave and strong
I shall be your faithful wife.
I shall be as loving ivy,...
- ...thus, your body I will bind.
Lord...
Why do you call me at a
time like this?
Because it is the right time
to do business.
Some ismaelies are selling
a hebrew man.
- He looks fit.
- He's not ugly, not one bit.
- Very cheaply he's being sold.
- A real bargain, I am told.
Another slave,
your wife can take.
This is the slave.
Good day, sirs...
That's from "The Walkirie".
The young man we saw in
his underclothes.
- The one at the spa.
- Rachel, the same one.
- It is him!
- It is him!
No doubting, it is him.
So, the deal is done,
an advantageous one.
This slave is for you.
Many thanks, Rachel, my friend,...
...and so, I see him again.
- What is your name?
- My name is José.
No! I've told you a thosand
times. Read this here.
So, what does it say?
- "José is my name."
- So0?
It is easier for me to say:
"My name is José"!
This play is a disaster,
without any malice.
They'll burn the theatre down.
I am the author!
Mummy, he is a terrible actor.
They'll burn the theatre down!
Corcuera, who is a professional
in this field, was saying...
...we need to add
a little spice to this.
Naughtines, that is...slyness.
Mari Pili, your fiance is a fool.
I am the author and they
will do as I say.
Maestro, go on.
Slaves, take her away...
...and let her be scented with
Oriental perfumes.
~José, you go with them.
- l will die of shame!
Among so many women,
and you, so chaste,...
...whatever will be, José.
My lady, the nuptial
chamber awaits you,...
Well, I shall be going,
I am preparing a wedding.
But go on rehearsing.
- You shall be the director.
- Mrs. Fernanda!
Hello, mum.
- I've been an hour waiting!
- Rehearsals...
If you lack respect, you'll be out.
Forget the show now.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Come on.
8,500 pesetas.
What jumps you'll be
able to do here!
- What do you think, Tarsicio?
- Twin beds, it's modern.
- I don't know, this wedding...
- What a fool you are, son!
- I don't like this wedding.
- Mummy...It is more hygienic.
Yes, and more expensive.
- Do you prefer one or two beds?
- Whatever Tarsicio says.
- We'll sleep better, apart.
- Different bedrooms?
She is right, besides,
I snore at night...
What's all the fuss?, anyway,
What is a bedroom for?
Where is the lounge?
Come, over here, please.
You've got the sofa here.
You can have it upholstered,
any colour you like.
- t's nice, isn't it?
- Yes.
Think about it: I get home, I am
wearing my dressing gown,...
- ...a cat.
- No cats!
Then I'll be reading the paper,
you'll come from the kitchen...
- Why from the kitchen?
- Well...we'll be listening to...
...the National Radio news.
- No, the gramole. Where is it?
- What about me?
- You'll live with us.
- You'll have your bedroom.
- It will have a nice view, I hope.
- Well...
- You miser!
- What happened?
- She hit me here.
- Who, Mari Pili?
- No, her mother.
What an animal!
The best thing is to put
the testicles in cold water.
Nobody mentioned views!
I am a lady, but if I weren't...!
What is dangerous, is you can
get "ortitis".
How am I going to put my balls
into the sink? What's an "ortitis?
Your balls swell up and
you can't have any children.
- Oh, well!
- Get on that stool.
So you...
- Your...foreskin...?
- What a beast you are!
Now I understand about
the twin beds.
- You are hurting me, animal!
- This is quick and easy.
You shall be able to, now!
Grab hold of it.
- How're you getting on, Tarsicio.
- Fine, fine.
Poor girl. What a honeymoon...
Grab hold of it!
- But...What for?
- Hold it firmly, don't be scared.
When I count three, you pull
backwards firmly, right?
One, two, three!
There it is, your foreskin.
How do you spell, "foreskin"?
"Phoreskin" or "foreskin"?
Look it up in the dictionary!
- Do you have any problems?
- Not at all.
That's enough! Enough!
What do I care if that fool
has problems or not?
Inspector, could you get a
doctor, or a practitioner?
- His wound is quite nasty.
- Be quiet!
Make a point: "Blasphemy"
Where were we?
You were interrogating the man
who looks like a "red".
I can only find "unscrew":
"To remove a screw".
Inspector, if you don't mind,
I can order a "paella",
A "paella"...I think...
A phone book.
- Does it hurt?
- A little.
Listen, Palomero, I would
like a "paella", right now.
For twenty, no, just for twelve.
Let's see, first, let's deal
with you plagiarism accusation.
Was Mr. Collazo told about
his son copying the play?
How could 1? I had to eat.
If I told him, there'd be no show,
1 told him I wouldn't be held...
...responsible, I wanted to get
the censorship's permission.
Is the show banned?
"The court of the Pharaoph"?
Absolutely banned.
Ask the censor. But it
was awarded a "nilopstat"...
Who awarded the "nilopstat"?
- That monk.
- What monk?
- Let me see the papers.
- Father, I've got them...
...at the theatre, in my habit.
A monk!
A monk!
What is a monk doing in this
pey? Come here, heretic!
Just a moment!
I want to confess!
- Later, my girl.
- No! I've commited a deadly sin.
- What are you going to confess?
- Confession secrecy.
- No, no! I shall confess her.
- All right! All right!
- Where can we go?
- Over there, behind the screen.
We sometimes use the screen
for certain interrogations.
- I have sinned.
- Tell me.
- Flesh sins?
- No, no.
It's about the "nilopstat".
When Corcuera enquired about
the "nilopstat",...
...Mr. Collazo, called his
friend, the Prior,...
...and he sent us Brother José,
that is, the monk.
The night Tarsicio,
my fiance, got home...
- Whose home?
- Mine.
My mother runs a pension,
they are all artists.
I have told you a thousand
times not to rehearse here!
Go to your rooms, I don't
want to see you here!
- Good night.
- Good night.
This is Brother José,...
...he is here to overlook my
show, give him a room.
There are no rooms free.
Mari Pili! Mari Pili!
Mari Pili...
- What are you doing here?
- This is Brother José. My fiancee.
He is here to overlook my play,
with Corcuera.
Corcuera, our problems with
censorship are over.
- Where can we put you?
- He can have my room.
I'll sleep with you.
Then go and change the sheets.
Come this way.
No, don't worry.
No, you are not going!
This is a humble house.
Goin.
Pardon?
Oh! The second on the left.
- Corcuera isn't here yet.
- He won't take long.
- With a monk here...
- Nothing!
Until he marries, I'll keep
an eye on him.
- Tell me when Corcuera comes.
- A monk has arrived.
Look, look.
- What is this?
- It's a hair shirt.
They wear it like this, and
if they feel temptation...
How terrible! Put it away!
Excuse me.
Tarsicio says you would
like to speak to me.
Yes, yes.
You see, I am reading the play
with utmost interest, and...
...have made some changes.
Of course, there's
always things to change.
But, it has all been crossed out!
- Yes, I started crossing out...
- Dinner is at ten.
No, I...
- At ten.
Let's do something...
...I know, just read once,
it can maybe...
...seem, well,...vulgar.
Good night.
You jumped
through the window and...
...off to "copulate".
- l don't understand.
- You began to fornicate.
You know what? You re so rude!
I am very decent, how
could I do that with a...
- ...man who is a saint?
- There was no fornication?
What an obsession! You only
think about the sixth.
There was nothing.
Besides, Brother José
ran back to his convent.
- He ran back?
- To avoid temptation.
But, last night he was
singing in the show, wasn't he?
That's what
I'm trying to get to,...
...sorry, I'm not used to...
No, no, kneel down!
Kneel down!
Come on, continue.
I am newly wed,
to Pitufar,...
...and I am in my nuptial bed.
The moonlight strucks
the Nile,...
...the sacred ibis,
crossed the skies.
Make it greener!
What a tree you're making!
That's where the coconuts go,
green will be painted later.
Tarsicio...
- Where can he be?
- l don't know.
Where is José the Chaste?
Come on, it's your turn!
Come on, leave that there.
He is here.
- Come on!
- I'm coming, I'm coming!
"Three widows, in Thebes,
they want to penetrate."
I know it.
Three widows, in Thebes,
they want to penetrate them.
I swear that coarseness is not
written here. Come up, please.
Last night, he did know it.
- Brother, read it yourself.
- Yes, read it.
- The music too?
- With music, even better!
Three widows at Thebes,
they want to penetrate.
The door is open,
they can come in.
Ready, maestro.
The door is open,
they can come in.
In Egypt, when a maiden
gets married, three widows,...
...come to show her
the duties she will have.
Don't cross that out, what's
wrong with this scene?
Health for the maiden,...
...pretty as daylight.
May Anubis protect you,
and Osiris bless you.
The newly wed is honest, she
knows nothing about marriage,...
...80, some widows show her.
Don't croos it out.
Come and see.
To go from single to married,
some preparation you shall need,...
...listen to us, we are widows,
and our duties we know, indeed.
It is hard, and that is why,
I can assure you,...
...that very soon, very soon,
you shall learn. The right...
The right.
The right the husband has
over his wife.
You mustn't deny anything to
your husband, after the wedding...
...because as he enters the house
his authority is entering.
And though at the beginning
you might cry,...
...and though he may be tough,
very tough,...
...if you go along with him,
he'll come down, eventually.
Be hard working, be skilful, make
him happy, always willing...
...move along with him, so he...
...gets what he wants.
Take care of him, spoil him,...
...don't say no to him,...
...and with those few moral
hints we are giving you,...
...you'll see how your husband
is happy indeed.
Be hard working, be skilful, make
him happy, always willing...
- Move along...
- ...80 he...
...gets what he wants.
Take care of him, spoil him,
don't say no to him.
Really?
Really!
Did you see that? On stage, with
those clothes, it's almost like...
...a catechism for newly weds.
Don't you doubt it!
Well done!
See you tomorrow, beauties!
Maestro, just a few
minutes rest.
So you can see how
I follow your advice,...
...look,...
...this scene...out!
The scene with the widows,out.
- What about this part...?
- You must get to the "point"...
...she doesn't know about the
arrow.
She ignores he's crippled.
Let's see...
Now you "attack" with
"you don't love me."
Let's go.
You don't love me. I can't see
a flame in your eyes.
Gods, perform a miracle!
No, it's not that! And you, Mari
Pili, be more passionate.
- But I'm frustrated...
- Haven't you seen...?
This is how your beloved
wife loves you, this is how!
Fire! Passion! And you,
Mr. Tarsicio, when you say...
..."Gods, perform a miracle!",
don't look at her, it's apart.
It's only he doesn't want
to "go limp."
Bugles, please.
What is that, my beloved?
It's my troops! They are calling!
Happier! Happy to leave the bed!
- Don't go!
- I must! What else?
- l can't help it.
- l can't help it, I'm leaving!
I must! The code says so!
- Where is José the Chaste?
- He's gone to fill the bottle.
Well...I'll play José the Chaste.
Ma'am must say how she will
like to be entertained.
- Come here, sit by me.
- But...? You hold my arm.
I grant you permission.
What if the master comes?
He won't, he's busy.
Well... then... I see.
- Look into my eyes!
- I get confused if I do!
Why doesn't Brother José do it
until Antonio comes back?
Great idea!
With his voice!
- l don't know how to do this.
- Don't be silly!
Sit down, I'll tell you how.
You only have to say:...
..."l am here."
"I am here."
Nearer.
- God of Israel.
- I, with my slave, Rachel,...
- ...Saw you...
- Where?
In Aaran, coming out of the spa.
Then you must have seen me
wearing Adan's habit.
Louder, more manly,
don't be afraid!
- How embarrassing!
- l felt the same way,...
...for I looked quite a while.
But I was later fine.
Of course.
So tell me, young hebrew...
...though it is not polite to ask...
- ...are you in love?
- I, ma'am... That is very rude.
Hold him!
Why?
I'm deeply embarrased, don't you
know I'm José the Chaste?"
Very good!
Maestro, the music!
I am the Chaste,
I am the Chaste...
Singing? No way!
This is just too much!
No, no! Goodbye.
Where are you going?
Please, don't go! Come back!
Don't be afraid,...
...everything's OK!
So he run away.
We looked at eachother
and said: Bro. José is...
What's important is my
play, though it is...
...an operetta, it is a very
Spanish one.
- Didn't it happen in Holy Land?
- Where is Brother José?
- In the kitchen garden, digging.
- But, do you really dig?
Yes, we do.
1 am too old to dig any more,
but look at my blisters.
That's the end of digging for
you. The prisoners can do it.
- What prisoners?
- The political ones...
- ...just like in Cuelgamuros.
- The prisoners can dig in the...
...garden, while that monk
plays José the Chaste.
Yes, very good.
- Tarsicio says he is handsome.
- His voice, especially.
Look! He's coming.
We will have a wonderful "Valle
de los Caidos", best in the world.
Take your hood off.
We want no false shyness.
Brother José, why did you
leave the theatre?
- l was running away from flesh.
- That's nice!
Very nice!
Poor old Church, her
own soldiers quiting...
...the fight against the devil,
the world and the flesh!
We must fight, my friend!
Send me to China, I'll lose
my blood without hesitation!
Let China alone!
This is your mission land.
- It is a beautiufl role.
- A chant to chastity.
It says: "l am the Chaste,
I am the Chaste..."
Thats fine!
Go on, pack your suitcase,
and off to sing!
I am the chaste,
I am the chaste,...
...I am José the Chaste.
A shepherd I was, and as a
child I cared for the shhep.
Up in the mountain, down
in the meadow, weren't you...
...perturbed by loneliness,
by a feeling of being loved...
...that urged you...to love?
I used to play the flute,
and the flageolet,...
...while goats around me
did some cabriolets.
1 did not think of love,
for a sin it was,...
...and also, very busy I was...
...keeping my eyes on
the lambs, carefully...
...keeping them from running.
Such innocence, so sweet,
is hard to find in a man indeed!
Such an honest lad, I
would surely like to have.
- For yourself?
- Yes, for myself.
Because I, like you, are thus.
Come, José, come here...
...for itis love
what I want to explain.
I think love should
be tasty...
...Oh, hebrew! it must
be the bite of some creature!
A creature that tickles you,
all over the place,...
..and lights up desire in ones's
chest and terrible shocks, we feel.
I don't know what it is, at those
things I am still at "A",...
...please, sir, don't you get near
me, because it is very hot.
Let me say sweet
words to you,...
...let me tie you with
sweet ribbons,...
...let me see my
eyes in yours,...
...let your arms be
a chain of love.
Let me go, for Osiris's sake,
with you I get disturbed!
Let me go, for Libis and Anubis!
The love you beg for,
in vain you crave for.
Leave me and don't
go in by "u...u...uvis".
- l want you, José to come!
- Don't hold my cape...
José, come!
This is a clear sign of
lustfulness.
Go away, let me go!
Don't take my cape any more.
Look at me, love me!
Love is pleasure and happiness!
Let me go. Go away!
Or the cape, you will tear!
- Pepito...
- l repeat...let me go, let me go..!
Why?
Because I am the Chaste,
I am the Chaste, I am...
...Joseeeé the Chaste!
The "paella" is here.
Leave it on there.
José the Chaste, right?
Father, you are disturbed!
The Church never takes
justice into her own hands...
...even the "Inquisition" sent
prisoners to the "secular board"...
- ...that is, to us.
- Well, let's eat.
Is it chicken and seafood?
Let go, man!
Leave room for the cutlery.
It has everything, it looks
wonderful!
For goodness sake, stop pushing!
Roque, tell them to stop!
Yes, ma'am. Ramirez!
All against the wall!
Ramirez, your gun!
No, Tarsicio, don't!
Isn't the "paella" for all the
company?
- If we don't all go, I won't go.
- How foolish.
- Mum, tell her to come.
- Come, girl.
This is a private dinner,
tell him to stay.
Look at him!
What a good code,
this Camorra is!
- Mari Pili, come, don't be silly.
- l said no!
Well, don't.
You can leave, we will serve
ourselves, won't we, Father?
If there is trust, we
need no formality.
Thank you, Mr. Roque.
- You haven't said your name.
- Vicente.
- This is God's doing.
- Do you like it?
I can't understand atheists, if
there were no God, how could...
- ...there be such delicious things
- Do you like lobster?
What about crabs?
And lobster? And sea cow?
With all this mess,
I forgot to bless the food.
You eat like a horse.
Doesn't he, Vicente?
- What's wrong with the play?
- Do I act like a horse?
I have heard the only thing, is
the alussion to the Generalisimo.
Vicente, could you put the
screen? They are all staring...
- ...and they make me nervous.
- Of course, right now.
Ramirez, guards the screen.
Ma'am, excuse me, but
that about the "Babylon"...
Or wasn't it scandalous
with the "Babylon"?
Drink, drink my lord,
the tasty wine of Antina.
Drink and rest, while
the new day comes.
Drink the tasty wine,...
...golden tasty wine,...
...from your royal cellars,
my good slave.
If you wish to be sung to,
while you sleep, from Ninive...
...beautiful songs of
love,...
...pretty women, who grant
pleasures, will come...
...to sing their sweet song.
From Ninive,
from Queen Sandanapolo,...
This is a carnal
monstruosity.
...here we come.
To the sound of a thousand
melancholic songs,...
...the country is weeping.
As we let our cymbals
be heard,...
...we arrive there
with our Babylonian ways.
Walking, arriving,
breaking this song.
Singing, singing,
moving our "pin pan pon"
A Babylonian song
I shall sing.
A pharaonic court will
listen to you.
The women from Babylon,...
...are the most ardent
love can create,...
...they have a samaritan soul,...
...and for their fire, they
are from Galilee.
When they sigh, voluptuous,...
...the Babylonian dies of love,...
...and when they sing, a kiss on
every note, they lay.
Ay, bal...Ay, ba!
Ay, Babylonian how I'm fainting!
Ay, bal...Ay, ba!
Ay, vamoose to Judea!
Ay, bal...Ay, bal...
Ay, vamoose over there!
As Babylonian females,...
...no other females you shall
find, so insinuating,...
...her eyes, carry the
flame of love,...
...their lips search
for loving lips.
Like palmtrees, in the breeze,
their bodies they swing...
...their beautiful bodies,...
...whispering to the ardent air,...
...the black silk of their hair.
Ay, bal...Ay, ba!
Ay, babylonian, how I'm fainting!
Ay, bal...Ay, ba!
Ay, vamoose to Judea!
Ay, bal...Ay, bal...
Ay, vamoose over there!
And all this was accompanied
by their movements...
Even I had an incredible
erection.
I'm not surprised the
public protested!
I'm not sure if they did protest.
They did roar, though.
That's what I say!
A clear delight in coarsness.
You are exaggerating once again,
I must admit the music is,...
...very insinuating.
1, myself, there were days, after
rehearsing, when I got home,...
Well, my husband knows best...
And if you get carried away
with the music, you know...
Of course I know.
A woman with your...
...artistic sensitivity...
I play the bandurria myself.
Let's see, the monk, that is
the Chaste, is seduced by...
- ...Tarsicio's fiancee?
- No, I told you,...
- ..he doesn't "screw" her.
- And the queen, that's me,...
...hotices the slave is
very handsome.
To judge and to sentence,...
...I must know what happened,
so you must act, what...
...in your chamber you
were getting at.
I was very sad,
Weeping I was,...
...for I didn't know,
for I didn't know...
...I was lacking something.
I went in to entertain her,
and she looked at me.
I looked down, I looked down,
and she came close to me.
Having one so pretty,
looking at you like that,...
...you felt I don't know what,...
...such a sweet sensation,...
...that with your arms you did,
as I am doing, indeed.
Oh, ma'am! No, ma'am!
What a way of holding one!
Well, ma'am if all are
like Pitufar's...
I just think, ma'am,...
...this is not going to
end up badly.
You see, if I don't understand,...
...I cannot sentence anyone.
I can understand your
interest,...
...but this is abusing.
I'm afraid that
while I'm here,...
...something will happen
to me,...
...and so my praised chastity,
forever lost, shall be.
- Come to me, I plead.
- Don't reject my love.
- l, as your queen demand it.
- But he is my slave!
My Lord! If I'm too scared of
one, how can I dare with two!
Come here, look at me,...
...don't feel so chaste, José.
Caresses and warmth, you
will find in my arms.
Come to me, and both like this,
shall live on an eternal love.
- This is a waltz.
- It is glorifying adultery!
That's enough! I will
take charge of José,...
- ...you see?
- My husband bought him,...
...to serve only me.
- Come and take him!
He is mine!
- Mistress!
- Queen!
I'll jump put of the window,
I don't know what to do!
- Don't jump!
- Don't jump!
See what the monk
is able of doing.
Brother José.
Baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
Oh! How terrible!
Something...terrible!
An enormous "apparatus".
The poor thing had got excited
with the hugging and squeezing...
- It was...
- Don't exagerate.
No, Roque, I had never
seen anything like it.
So, the boy, I mean,
the monk...
...chaster than anyone, instead
of taking advantage, hid away.
1 tell you this, so you can
see he didn't sin.
It's is no big deal.
Men in the Church,...
...who were not crippled,
in human nature,...
...practised chastity,
in many different ways.
- When they felt tempted...
- What did they do?
- Yes, what did they do?
- Yes, go on.
They put their male member in
bramble bushes, with thistles...
What beasts! What balls!,
I mean.
- You need to be brave, don't you?
- Saints...you know.
A woman saint, when tempted
by the devil...
...would put hot coal in her...
- You know what I mean.
- Where did you read that?
I heard it in some
spiritual exercises.
Regarding size, I must
defend the army's.
The best equipped, are
those in the service corps.
Artillery also has
some good examples.
- l used to have a friend who...
- Dad. Dad, come here.
They won't want "paella".
The monk hugs Mari Pili.
- Of course, as she saw his tail!
- Mum, she is not faithful.
Nobody will deceive my son!
Let me.
Come here, liar,...
...or is your
cheekyness unlimited?
Come and confess your sins,
you despicable thing!
- Leave him, beast!
- What...?
- Come.
- No, no, ouch!
With all the clothes ready...
...the reception booked,
the honeymoon payed for!
Let her keep her monk.
No sin did she have.
It is all the lesser
evil's fault.
What do you mean?
I have done this for charity,
to avoid further evil.
What further evil? We all
lived in God's grace...
...until you got here!
I don't mean Tarsicio and
his parents, but Mari...
...miss Mari Pili and all those
poor people who live at the inn.
It was Christmas.
If you leave, the show
will be put off. In which case...
How will these unfortunate
guests pay?
What keeps them going
is the hope that some day...
...a businessman might see them
and emply them.
Do you also want to
be employed?
As I am going to marry.
Let's hope this time it's true.
I haven't been lucky
with my boyfriends.
- She is a martyr, brother José.
- Be quiet, mum!
Tell him. You shall se how
she deserves to be on an altar.
- Where are you going?
- To Vallecas.
There is a Christmas contest,
and they give out bags!
What is the play?
I shall recite,
and Antofiito will sing.
And the "three graces" will
sing a carol to Baby Jesus.
This brasier doesn't heat up.
- Didn't you have to get "turrén"?
- I had forgotten!
- Go down, the shop will close.
- Do you like "guirlache"?
No, I don't, they make it
with carob beans.
They make the other one
with sweet potatoes.
Then I won't have "turrén."
1 won't be ripped off.
Then forget lentils too, or do
really think they grow stones?
- Oh, don't they?
- No, it's so they weigh more.
You don't hear of anything
in the convent, do you?
- Pictures?
- Yes.
My mother wants me
to speak about my love failures.
My first boyfriend.
Poor thing.
Bloody wars!
I don't know whether to tell
you, it's so umpleasant...
He died at a...brothel.
- Deadly sin, of course.
- It might ve been my fault,...
...I didn't let him do anything
to me, so he had to go there.
- Horacio.
- Did he die too?
No. He said we were going to
buy a machine to stitch...
...and left me with
no money.
- How unconsiderate.
- A rogue.
And Arturo. He was first
in competitive examinations.
- An intelectual, then?
- A fool.
Can you see this picture?
It's the last one we have.
After this, we went on
the boat ride,...
...the one which turns over
completely if you do it properly.
Well, when we were turning,
he said: "Without holding on."
He just had time to say some-
thing about centrifugal force.
- He fell off.
- He was thrown out,...
...hitting a man who was riding
on the "flying chairs".
It was terrible.
- You know what?
- The lentils!
This is the last year...
..."Franquito" will eat his
"turrén" a this palace, El Pardo.
Stop, don't.
I'm sure you dropped the
lentils on purpose.
Why would I do that?
You won't deceive me, it was
to see her breasts.
When women lean down, they
leave everything in sight.
- Why did you choose the church.
- l didn't.
During the military service,
I was part of a shooting patrol,...
- ...as I didn't kill...
- l see!
Besides lustful,
you are a pacifist!
They sent me to some castle,
and then to the convent.
Everything is coming out now!
On top of it you say you started
singing to avoid futher evil.
Yes, and I'm sure God
will forgive me.
That's what you think!
God will never forgive you!
Neither will I! That's all we
need, for God's pardon...
...to be at the beck and call
of every sinner.
Father, we have taken down
everything, so you can avoid...
- ...that about confession secrecy.
- That's fine.
Very good, Father.
Who was listening to the
radio, under the blankets?
- l don't know, I couldn't see.
- I will help you.
Let's go on with the show.
Where were we?
This lady and that one, were
squeezing the monk.
Mr. Ramirez!
- Nobody is squeezed in my show!
- That must va been "red"...
- ...Corcuera's version.
- That's a lie!
Quiet!
- Please, go on.
- Yes, Inspector.
José the Chaste,
goes out the window...
...where does the window lead?
To the gardens where
the Pharaoph sleeps.
He wakes up, and José the
Chaste,...
I have seen in my dreams,
women in strange clothing...
...who wave their
hands at me,...
...changing their postures.
Downwards, from the waist,
everything they moved,...
...and upwards from the
waist, everything they showed.
What a pleasure to see them
dance, I never saw such a thing.
I know what you saw,
it was this.
For Anubis, For Osiris,
that is what I dreamt!
What a shock! How amazing!
What women, how
tasty they are.
Those three women
you are looking at...
...will dance from now on
the restless "garrotin".
When I look at your head,...
...and the line of your hair,...
...I feel it coming up and
going down,...
...it's the blood all over again.
When I look at your head,...
...and your hair line,...
...I feel it going up
and coming down,...
...it's the blood all over again.
Do you want to bet?
I bet you I have...
...I have a little something...
...that Pitufar doesn't have...
Do you want to bet?
I bet you I have...
...I have a little something...
...that he doesn't and can't have.
This is going too far!
But look! Your feet
move along with it!
- Very inspiring music.
- It was my son who wrote it!
Move, damn you!
I'm sorry, I didn't see you.
With your talent...
Then we can do it again!
And I will direct it, so
the priest doesn't get angry.
If it is only for
a few people,...
...and taht Corcuera is
arrested beforehand,...
Speaking about arrests,...
...I think many people are
going to be arrested here.
And not due to the show, which
apart from a few things like...
- ...the Caudillo and the Moors.
- The Moors don't appear.
You be quiet!
- Ramirez, the screen.
- Out!
The arrested people.
- Where is my daughter?
- Mummy.
All the arrested, in line.
See how right I was?
You won't even marry that one.
- Quiet, mum!
- How unfortunate I am!
So many sacrifices, and this
girl will be a spinster!
- Will you be quiet?
- Come on!
- l told you! You will...!
- Be quiet. The radio!
You are lucky my hand is hurt.
Now, let's see...
...who has the guts,...
- I'm sorry, Father.
- Go on.
...to listen with me present,
"Independent Spanish Radio".
Come on, step forward!
Soit'syou...?
And you re wearing a habit too...
Is it for some pious promise?
I see, so you're not going to
take your habit off...
...until the Caudillo
dies, is that so?
Didn't I tell you the show
had nothing to do with it?
The problem is that pension.
What about the printing house?
What printing house?
Haven't they discovered a
clandestine printing house?
We shall find it!
Are you speaking to
me, Bolshevik?
- Go on, speak!
~Just a moment...
If I can have a drink,
1 will tell you everything.
A drink?
I might be a Bolshevik, but
he is an anarchist.
An anar...? Ramirez,
fetch me the dictionary!
Yes, sir, he told me in his
own house, on New Year's Eve.
Don't listen to him, Vicente.
"Anarchist: in agreement with
the supression of all powers."
- Who, me?
- Yes! Anarchist!
You, a Bolshevik, and
1, an anarchist, and proud of it.
- What about you?
- Stop speaking of politics,...
...come on, the chorus girls.
To a world with no
God and no masters.
To a society where nobody
exploits, or is exploited.
To free love.
Mr. Roque, the chorus
girls are over there.
How come you be an anarchist?
You, with this house,...
...common thieves,
power stations, colonizers...
I am a sentimental anarchist.
- What were you saying...?
- If you like, you can...
- ...go to bed with them.
- That would be wonderful.
What if they are sisters,
that would be a bigger sin...
Comic christian ways.
Look and admire this chorus
girls, touch, see the flesh.
My wife can see me.
It will be my turn later.
An anarchist, prostituting
three decent women.
Here. Bolshevik...
Keep my wife entertained.
- There are no manners here.
- What is she like?
Very vulgar. She won't have
the food served, or the silver...
...polished...We servants have
more class than she does.
- What about the son?
- Pretty dumb. And the fiancee...!
I think she is the daughter of
some actress, who runs a pension.
Hey! Fuck you!
Oh, wonderful world,
where is it?
Your thighs are slippery
as fish...
- Look, look.
- What's going on here?
Can't you see? Playing "Show
White and the seven dwarfs".
Mum!
- Where is your fiance?
- Over there.
I am very strict until you
get married, but not dancing...
...with your fiance on a night
like this...
Yes, but he can't...
Can you dance?
- How silly!
- Of course, as a soldier.
That's right, before, in the army.
- Why don't we dance?
- The habit...
Once in a while..., besides
it's New Year's Eve.
- You are a good dancer!
- No, I forgot how to do it.
This is like riding a bike,
once you've learnt.
Before being a monk, what
did you like dancing?
Tango. I prefered tango.
- We'll put one on later.
- l like "La Comparsita".
That's a beautiful one!
You know what?
The rehearsals should go
on forever.
Why?
Because you wouldn't go back
to the convent.
Then, wouldn't you marry
Mr. Tarsicio?
But...
- Leave her...
- But...
Yes, that way you won't be able
to say I'm clumsy at dancing.
Clumsy at dancing?
Come here, honey,
just let yourself go!
Can you dance or not?
This is bloody funny!
Mr. Roque,
there's been a mistake,...
...it's 300 pesetas, each one.
Just a moment. Let's see if you
are a real anarchist.
Your son is kissing a man,
on the lips.
- He's done it again!
- l can't understand you.
Yes! He's got this thing...
He had to leave the boy scouts,
because in the camp...
I thought with this girl, he'd...
- Aren't you shocked?
- What can I do? It's innate.
So, you are an anarchist.
And for free love.
Vicente, this was done to
me on the trenches,...
...defending Spain!
The Bolshevik's declaration,
forget it.
Go home, man.
Father.
Father!
- We are all going.
- Take your hat, go home.
I fell asleep.
That's what happens when you
put your trust in these fools.
It's true, they are just
poor resentful people.
Wrap yourself warmly,
or you ll get cold.
Call me, Vicente.
Don't bother coming with us,
you're in pyjamas.
Why don't you come
home tomorrow?
You can with no problem,
Roque will be away.
- Come on, Tarsicio.
- Come on, Roberto.
- No, you go with them!
- Dad!
Where are those people going?
Everybody there!
And you, scoundrel, you ve
got to confess a few little sins.
- Do you love me José?
- l do.
I'm going to quit church life.
Let's see if you marry this one.
Roberto is a good friend of mine.
- Would you like some breakfast.
- l feel like buns.
Roberto hasn't listened to the
radio, or done anything wrong.
- Vicente can tell you.
~Just as the rest...
...sulting the Caudillo,
and the Moorish guards.
lllegal association with
subversive purposes. Members...
...of masonry, jews, and
communists.
lllegal propaganda, printed in
a clandestine printing house.
- Did you find the printing house?
- As soon as I...
Although my hand is hurt...
They'll get 30 years...
- ..at least.
- Roberto doesn't live at the inn.
"Delinquency Law" can be
applied in this case.
Get in the car,
you must be tired.
- Father, where are you going?
- I should say mass.
Get in, so we can all listen,
it's good to have a mass.
Don't forget to come
home and have lunch.
Yes, that way you can
entertain, while I'm away.
That's nice! Who can I
entertain?
You must write, that's your task.
Why don't you write "Marina"?
You'd be successful.
I heard they like it a lot
at El Pardo, Franco's home.
By the way, how does the one
with José the Chaste end?
Very nicely, the pharaoph,
names Jose viceroy.
Glory, glory to our
great viceroy!
Glory to the king!
Come with me.
Roberto, come and say hello.
Come on, in!
Police! Come on!
That one, that one!
Quiet. It's all alright.
Police!
You, that way!
You, follow me!
"Ay, bal..ay,ba!
Ay, babylonian how I'm fainting!
Ay, bal...Ay, ba!
Ay, vamoose to Judea!
Ay, bal...Ay, ba!
Ay, vamoose over there!
There are no other females...
...as the ones in Babylon,
so insinuating...
...in her eyes, the flame
of love is burning...
...their lips longing
for loving kisses.
Like palm trees, they swing,
and dance,...
...their beautiful bodies,
moving in the ardent breeze...
...and the black silk of their hair.
Ay, bal...Ay, ba!
Ay, babylonian how I m fainting!