La comtesse Ixe (1976) - full transcript

A group of friends come together to have a party, but in the woods near the castle a kleptomaniac is hiding and waiting to take advance of the partygoers. She introduces herself as countess Ixe a lady that nobody knows but with a legendary life because she often dances naked in front of her guests. The thief however wants to go a bit further and poisons the champagne with an aphrodisiac so that in no time all partygoers are deeply involved in a big orgy. Meanwhile the real countess Ixe arrives on the scene...

- Good evening sir.
- Good evening, Carole.

Here are Saturday's invitations.
Could you post them later on?

- Yes.
- Thanks.

Does that mean
that I have the weekend off?

But of course, Carole.

You know that our club
doesn't want any Peeping Toms.

Aha, Countess X.
Is she a new acquaintance of yours?

Yes and no.
Nobody in our club knows her very well.

But she seems to be rather notorious.

We're all hoping that she'll make it.

They say she's very pretty
and always up for a bit of fun.

In a rather extraordinary way.

What a shame that I can't stay.

But Carole,
you know that IFS a private club.

Oh, your lordship...

I don't regret hiring you.

Did you hear that?

What do you mean?

- A sort of groaning, by a person.
- Really?

As long as it isn't the baroness.

Countess X will not be receiving
this invitation.


But there will be a countess X
at the baron's party.

What a wonderful night, isn't it?

Yes. Such a shame the countess
couldn't make it.

Hopefully she'll come later.

Have you heard
the strange rumors about her?

- The mysterious countess...
- I hope she'll come soon.

I have to admit that I only came
to see the countess.

I'm sure she'll be here.

I also want to get to know her.
They say shes rather special.

Do you think she'll come?

Don't worry.
People like that enjoy being waited on.

I've heard that she's rather open-minded.

Tell me more.

It would seem that she dances naked
on the tables at parties.

You're joking.

She's from South America.
That explains it.

That would be something.

No problem. We'll just ask her
to dance for us.

I hope she knows how to behave.

A bit of lawlessness would
liven the evening up a bit.

Look. Here she is.

On foot? Has she left her driver
at the gate?

My friends, I've only just arrived.
But I'm so glad to be here.

Let me catch my breath.

your guests are most charming.

It's such an honour to meet them.

We've heard a lot
about your dancing act.

Is it true that you dance naked
for everyone?

- We'd love to see it.
- I've heard that IFS fantastic.

We couldn't wait to meet you.

Please choose your favourite music.
Anything you like.

I don't think you can refuse.

Countess, our guests would love to see you dance.

Please dance for us?

Dance naked?
Have I done that before?

But of course.
You all know it.

All right then, if you insist.
But I'm not sure...

Great. Of course.
Please come with me.

I'll dance here.

Please be seated in half a circle.

Shall we move this chair?

Have a seat.

Why don't you all take a seat?

I'll be back in two minutes.

Just a minute.

Who would like a glass of Champagne?

Friends, I think we're going to have
a wonderful evening.

What with her class and sensuality...


Does the Champagne taste a bit odd?

No, IFS very nice. I'm getting rather excited.

Isn't she lovely?

Isn't she beautiful?

This evening is turning out to be rather strange.

Why don't you let your hair down?

It was years ago that somebody
kissed me like that.

It must be the Champagne.

Who would like some more?

- Oh yes...
- Lovely...

This Veuve-Cliquot is excellent.

And at just the right temperature.

Friends. Thanks to the countess
and her complete surrender...

we're just as in love as
when we got married.

We're going to celebrate this,
in front of you.

And because we think that you are
just as liberal as we are...

we're going to make love.

I'm very pleased with how the evening
is turning out.

I'm glad that you are my partner.

You suck really well.
Put it in your mouth.

Let your hair down.

Keep sucking.

Put it all the way in.

Lick the head.

And my balls.

Suck my fat cock.

All the way.

Carry on.

Suck it all the way down.


What's going on here?

Group therapy, milady.

I didn't expect that of them.

They are like that.
And they're from a good background.

Very good.

Let me go.

Countess, dear countess.

Come here, with my partner.
Come on, I insist.

She's very charming, you'll see.
Take your time.

Why are you dressed?

- I think you should too.
- Why?

We'd better get out of here.

And who might you be?

- I am countess X.
- How do you do?

I wasn't invited, but I came anyway.

And you, who are you?

I gather that you're pretending to be me?

Baron... something strange is going on!

- My jewels!
- Quick!

Stop the thief!

Stop the thief!

- We've outsmarted them
- But who are you?

I'm a burglar too.

I saw you putting something in the glasses.

But I didn't drink it.

- But you never said a word.
- That's right.

And then I took your spoils.

And now we have all the jewels.

And all the money.

Shall we share it?

Shall we work together'?

Why not?

I have an invitation to a posh party.

Saturday night.

I still have some aphrodisiac left.

By the way, what's your name?

I'm Axel the Penny thief,
the thief with a thousand faces.