La bête lumineuse (1982) - full transcript

What does it mean to kill
a moose? You study him,

track him, get close to him
and then shoot him.

At night it's the same story.

Back at camp,

somebody starts sounding off,
making a big speech.

Fine-you let him go,
you give him some rope.

Then you all get on his case.

You know your turn'll come.

And when it does,
you're going to get jumped on.

l wish you'd told me that before.

You never told me that, Bernard.



You don't understand the system.
There's wolves and there's moose...

and what do wolf packs do?
They hunt.

Give me a hunter's middle C.

The brothers at Sacré Cœur
threw me out...

'cause l wouldn't blow their horns.

Barney's making paper
so he can write a letter.

He misses his wife.

Think you'll get us a moose
to kill, Barney?

Sure.
- Without drinking too much beer?.

Nobody ever got a moose
without drinking too much beer.

l'm bringing this in;
it's supposed to freeze tonight.

We won't let our booze blow up,
that's for sure.

l wasn't supposed to drink...

Just a finger.
Just up to my finger!



And there's more
where that came from.

My doctor told me if
l don't see pink elephants...

with purple polka dots,
l'm okay.

Now, l've lost lots of sleep
over pink elephants...

but the purple polka dots
were always beside the elephants!

For ten bucks, Nicky?

Go on-make yours, Nicky.

No, no-that's Barney's,
that's yours. l'll take the rest.

For ten each?

So if there are tracks in both
you lose twenty?

Right, you each get ten.

So the moose has to come
from over there.

Barney, is there any way a moose
could come from there,

put tracks in your circle,
then mine, then his?

Christ, there's 20 bucks on this;
don't let me down!

Give me a chance,
l can still change my spot.

Could he come from over there?

Put your circle there.

Okay, l'll move it there.

That moose better have long legs.

Look, Barney tells me
to change places.

For twenty bucks l will.

Here Barney, how's this?

You wait...
The print'll be dead centre.

lf it is, l'll give you
a hundred to one.

Let's see who can make
the other guy quit first.

Up yours!
- You got the bad end, is that it?

No, you were drooling
into my mouth!

l like cider, but not while
it's fermenting.

Making a funnel
to drink your booze with?

To drink his cider with.

To drink my coffee with.

John the Baptist.

Who?

He's pulling your leg.

lt wasn't you, was it?

He told you,
it was John the Baptist.

Was that the voice
in the wilderness?

Hey, not in here!

What we want is sleep,
not a stampede!

l think you got a reply...
over towards the mountain.

Did you hear it?
- Yeah, there.

Right, up in that stand
of hardwoods.

Maybe you should try again.

We need our telescopic sights,
but something's moving...

near that bent branch.
- Right, right.

You see it, Bernard?
- What is it?

Look, over there:
there's a bent branch.

Beside it,
there's a black shape.

Did you get a reply
from there too?

You have to see if you can take
the wind and cold, the long hikes.

You have so suffer a little,
test yourself.

ln town, you sleep
in a soft bed every night...

but living in comfort
isn't always good for you.

You don't get enough exercise,
so you come here...

and see how you measure up.

But in archery,
the target is... is...

l've always been a closet
St. Sebastian, you know.

No, but the target's
just an illusion.

You must know how to draw.

lt's a moment being born.

You must find a corridor
through space,

like the eye of the hurricane.

lf you miss it, you've had it.

But the target's an illusion.

See?
- You missed!

l told you-it's not the shot,
it's how you draw.

Listen, what l'm telling you now...

is goddamn important
for this moose thing.

Know why?

Ding-dong...
it's my editor at the door.

He says, ''Stéphane,
my friends who were...

''supposed to introduce me
at my book-launching tomorrow... ''

That's what he says.

Well, his friends told him
they couldn't do it.

''So what do you want?'' l ask.

''l want you to introduce me,''
he says.

See the connection
between this and the moose?

No.
- Not yet; okay, listen.

Take your time. Concentrate.

That's it.

Focus your thinking;
forget everything else.

Find that corridor...
the ideal space...

the eye of the hurricane.

You see? That's excellent.

l told you l'd be good!
- l don't believe it.

For me, hunting is basically
an act of fertility.

Oh, not for me.

We'll be there, you and l,
in our blind.

We'll be talking calmly.

We sense the presence
of this mythic beast.

Will he come from the north,
the south?

l won't say the east or the west,
it'd sound too corny.

Ahh poopsie, my little darling.
Look what l caught!

Hey, you can't doubt
my hunting ability now!

Oh, shit!

Give papa a kiss?
- No.

No? Why?

A kiss for papa. A hug?

Not even a hug. She's going
through a negative phase.

They say they regress a little
from time to time... anyhow.

The editor was there.

l say to him,
''Go on back home.''

''Get a good night sleep;
l'll do your introduction.''

l say, ''We'll give it a try.''

The television's blaring,
l'm with my wife.

lt's a marvellous moment of love.

We're into this fantastic
headspace, the two of us.

Couch to couch, lip to lip,
breath to breath.

By the end of the evening
l feel aeolian.

And l'm just watching television.

Forgotten all about
the moose hunt yet?

Don't worry, l'll get
back to it soon.

So anyway l'm looking...
l'm looking at my wife.

We're locked
into this incredible kiss.

Sophie?
Just one little kiss?

Ah, my little sweetheart.

Listen.

She just laughs,
the little beggar!

She's just like me!

So, we go to bed.

Ring, ring.

Know who it is?
- Your editor.

No!

lt's Bernard on the phone,
goddamn it!

l run down and pick up the phone.

lt's Bernard all right,
and he's on a binge!

So there l am, on the phone
with my old buddy.

He calls me up.

Meantime l've done nothing for
my editor-no speech, nothing!

l hope you're keeping
that moose hunt in mind!

Why shoot clay pigeons?
You're going moose hunting.

Moose don't fly, do they?

This sharpens the reflexes.

lf one ever does lift off,
we'll be the first to hit it.

We had an incredible conversation.

We discussed female sensuality...

in a way that was just perfect.

A guy from the Gatineau,
know how he responds to a woman?

He reacts... tacitly.

Same goes for the arrow...

you court your space,
you court your time.

A hunter with a gun
does exactly the same thing.

Archery is more than that.

Did l hit it?
- Sure, that was perfect.

Well, goddamn!

Again!
- No, Stéphane-Albert,

that's just the charge
as it leaves the gun.

A hunter with a gun
does the same thing.

He looks for his corridor...
his target.

A corridor of what?

The act of firing a bullet
is the same as shooting an arrow.

But what contact does
he have with a bullet?

What act does it involve?

Wiggling an index finger?
What's that?

Typical of our society, that's what.

Can your hunter get it up?

Does he have any sexual desire?

We're made to go hunting together...

but we have different attitudes.

Why do l want to go?
You want to know?

Because you have an immense
eroticism that seeks expression.

No, that's not why.
- No?

Why then?

Because it's a quest
for perfection!

Good, because in eroticism,
there's also perfection!

lf a moose was 125 feet from you,

how do you know you'd take
your ''sacred'' arrow,

O St. Sebastian, Stéphane,

and shoot at such
a magnificent beast?

l told you-

Maybe you'd be scared
and couldn't even get it up!

Maybe for the first time
in your life...

you won't draw,
you'll be terrified.

Think so?

Yes! A moose is as sacred
as a bow and arrow.

Listen-sacred things really
turn me on, my friend.

Picture him right there...
you see him?

See the moose?
- Yeah.

Good. What do you do?

l look at it.

The moose is right in front of you.

Just look at it
or adopt my principles?

l get a hard-on!

Right-it's essential to good
relations with your moose.

We're the sacred ones, we have
that mythical dimension.

You and l, Maurice, we're the ones
who'll conquer the moose.

While those men
of the lifeless gun...

those men of the faceless bullets...

will perceive nothing!

ln front of our place in Maniwaki...

there was a mountain; l always
called it ''the holy mountain.''

Who do you think
l used to go there with?

You were eight? With a friend.

Fine, but which friend?

l don't know.

l'll tell you... the great Bernard,

the one who came to cook
for my book-launching.

My friend the poet-chef, okay?

Who, when we were eight,
always played the white man...

with his six-shooter on his hip...

and told me l had to play
the lndian.

So, stupid me,
l always played the lndian!

Another?
- Ready.

Another? That makes six l've thrown!

He was the first living soul
l ever met...

on a grocery store counter.

Can you picture it?

He was two.

l was twenty-three months.

Can you see it?
- Sure.

He's two, l'm twenty-three months.

He tells me his very first lie.

Ever since that day
l've loved Bernard.

Watch this...

ln remembrance of my childhood
and as homage to Bernard,

l'm going to plant this arrow
in the trunk of that tree...

and spill its blood.

Watch closely.

Nicked it. Well, first arrow...
l was courting my space!

You Gatineau types...

l've never in my life
met men with such passion.

And you in particular.

Bernard...

l'll tell you what he is.

Bernard... is the world
turned upside down.

Bernard is a kiss on
the cheek of my wife...

who's totally embarrassed right now.

Bernard is a phrase
that is utterly mad.

Bernard is a wine.

A man who can drink
himself into oblivion.

But it's Bernard who'll give you
everything he has to give.

Come on Stéphane.

l love him.

Come on Stéphane.

l think poets
just love a good cry.

Come on now... come on.

You understand?
Bernard is my brother.

Seems to me an arrow's
all that Bernard deserves.

He took advantage of me.

He tricked me,
in all his blinding whiteness.

Now l'll show him
what a redskin can do.

Keep your eye on the tree.

Dead centre!

l can do that, too!
- Bernard had been honoured.

The more of a moose hunter
a guy is,

the more he's likely to become...
violent with words.

lt's more than just hunting;
it's been very self-revealing.

Anyway, you and l
are back together again.

lt's been a long time since
we spent ten days together.

lt's been fifteen, twenty years.

And as far as that goes,
l find you haven't changed much.

Going to go get that moose!

Got my boots?

Papa's going hunting.

Good.

Ten days...
- Yeah.

Say bye-bye.
- Bye now.

Back in ten days.
- Good luck.

Bye-bye Sébastien... bye-bye.

Give papa a kiss.

Give papa a nice big kiss,
he's going hunting!

He's going to bring you
some partridges.

No, no, don't cry Poopsie.
A nice kiss for me?

A hug then?
Not even that, mm?

Bye-bye Sébastien.

Say bye-bye!

Oh, you're not going to cry?
You're a big boy.

Say bye-bye.

No, papa has to go now!

Stay here, Sophie.

l left the door open.

No, no, don't cry...
Papa's coming back...

He's just going to the forest
to get a nice moose for you.

That's right-so give
papa a nice bye-bye.

Papa's coming back.

Don't worry.

Gone.
- Papa's gone.

Got a favourite colour?

They're just to eat!
So long as the meat's white inside.

Six isn't many
for a gang like yours.

This isn't all we've got to eat.

Now, four chickens.
- That's not enough.

l told you,
that's not all we've got!

But Bernard told me
to boost it a little.

You're late as usual, Stéphane.

Put 'em on the car,
we'll freeze them.

This is one beautiful bird.

A dying moose never
squawks like this, pal.

How much did you say
the guinea-hens were?

Let's see how she flies.

Let's start with what's
most important.

l'll put this in right now.

These are most important to me.

Did you bring the uh...

the razor blades?
- Yes.

But about that cushion?

Don't worry.

l think we'll look silly out
in the woods, waiting for a moose...

sitting on a cushion.

We don't... we don't
really need it do we?

Listen, my ass is very delicate.

Bring the birds. We're going
to look like a farm on wheels.

l've been stocking up on Bach.
- Oh?

l've been stocking up
on cheap wine.

He's in my head, my feet...
all through me.

lt's upside down.

They'll freeze!
- Oh well, we eat 'em dead anyway.

Seen my guitar?.
- Cheers!

l didn't show you?
lt's a beauty.

l could use another strut here.

For the birds this'll do fine.

The cat wants to come, too?

We can add it to Bernard's
game preserve!

Do we leave her out?
- Careful, she just had kittens.

A hundred bucks and
that's it, for everything!

A hundred and ten!
The quails, the feed.

Just make the bill, it's settled!
- A hundred and ten.

A hundred, one bill!
-And a ten!

l'm not sure l have
a hundred and ten.

Perfect. A hundred and five.

Leaves me just enough
to buy a beer tonight.

''The night is a cat...''

And at night cats are in heat.

''And cats at night are in heat... .''

Understand? You see why cats...

But l love them just the same.

A useless animal.

Come on, let's go!
- Lovely little cat.

Come on!

That's the first and last time
l kiss your cat.

Look! She's caught.
- That's cats for you.

Yeah, ''the night is a cat
and at night cats are in heat.''

Let's go.

Well, you finally made it!
- Come here Stéphane.

Don't quarrel now.

Well, they were right on time,
pulled in at noon!

Okay, let's settle this right now.

You drive my truck, you'll see
we couldn't get here any sooner.

You can't go fast in my truck.
- He won't push his truck!

Fuck! Do we have to go to the
hotel next door to get served?

A scotch... on the rocks.

A ''Black and White,''
white on top!

You say we're giving you
a hard time.

We're not going to write books,
we're going to hunt moose!

lf a moose goes by at eight
and you're not there...

So in the morning,

don't expect us to wait around
for you, cause we won't!

Albert, here's what you do:
at night instead of getting drunk,

put your little socks,
little boots, clean little shorts...

and huge long johns
beside your little bed.

When we wake you at five,
your breakfast will be ready.

You'll be up, fed, and ready
to go; but you won't hold us up.

So don't forget,
because the river's close by.

Wasn't your stuff ready to go?
Your gun, your bow.

All my stuff was ready.
- What?

l just had to pack it!

That took an hour and a half!

No, my clothes were folded and
ready, l just forgot one thing.

Ovid's Art of Love.

Did you bring any booze, Albert?

Bernard, let me just say this...

Great, a poem.

No, no. Can't l even speak?.

No, it's just l can't... l can't...

Okay, okay. Go ahead.

l bought a gallon of wine.

Listen, Barney.

You're going to love it!
- Sure.

A gallon of wine,
a case of twenty-four...

lt's Molsons... eh?

That's my colour.
- Y'like that?

That's his colour, he says!
- His colour!

Did you bring some
brandy for the chef?

Brandy for the chef...
and some for the bowman!

The slow man?
- Plus a little rum, so we're set!

Goddammit, the birds got loose!
- Don't worry...

Guinea-hens are easy to catch.

Come help with the chickens!

The guinea-hens are over here.

l paid seven-fifty
for that son of a bitch!

Wait, l'll get my shotgun!
l'm going up after it.

Jesus! lt shit in my hands!

lt's going all the way up!

Living proof we descended
from the ape!

Hey Bernard, let's call
the Fire Department.

Be careful, Philippe.
- Yeah, they bite!

Go on, climb!

l can't wait to see
how he gets back down!

Forget the gun, Michel.

Philippe...

Hypnotize it!

Just dive for its feet
and float down!

Okay, shake the branch!

Break it!

C'mon for Chrissake!

That's it... good!

lt's lower, anyway.

Yeah, three feet lower!

Want the firemen to get
the net out for you?

Want me to get my
knife out for you?

Cut the branch!

Which looks tastier,
this one or that one?

The first one!

Oh come on, it's too big.

lt's as big as a milk-calf!

Okay Albert, we'll take them both!

We'll take them both.

Look at her. l like
the little one better.

They're a hundred and ten dollars.

Hey, Monsieur Beluet!
- Look, it's a beauty.

What? There's nothing there!

Put it in the sun.

l bet it doesn't even
cast a shadow!

You see right through it!

Look! Look! See the
sunshine on my shoe?

Hey, she likes beer.
Look at her go.

She won't have to be marinated.

She's a bloody cute little goat.

Christ, step on it, Michel.
We gotta be there by tonight!

l said step on it, for Chrissake.

Or let us through.
Hey Albert, step on it!

l'm running up your ass.
Move it.

l'm already going seventy.

You're full of shit!

Go on, go on, go on,
we gotta be there tonight!

Hey Michel, slow down, will you?

Go on Michel, drive the fuck
out of here, you can do it!

Do we wash dishes at night
or in the morning?

Albert, we decided you're gonna
do them all the time.

D'you mind?

No, no problem. l was dead
tired last night, that's all.

Otherwise l'd've stayed up
to do them. l'm not selfish.

l was dead.
- Think we weren't tired too?

No, you were drunk.

You never do anything
unless it suits you.

There's all sorts of crap
in my moustache.

He threw up the whole
way here yesterday.

l wasn't sick once!
- You drunk! You don't remember?

Going hunting this morning?
- No.

Saturday's no good,
l'm going back to bed.

We can still be
one of the first out.

But you'll have to hurry.
So let's go!

l'm not dressed yet.
- Do it fast.

But the bottle...

Yeah, there's still some rum.
There's no point in going now!

We'd be better off drinking.

lf everybody helped us out
it'd be done in no time.

The morning after is rough, huh?
- Sort of.

How does it look by the lake?
- Fine, we'll put it in here.

lt's a beautiful morning.

Yeah, not bad.
- Don't talk so loud.

Somebody's been here.
- Shh!

Head for that point.

This canoe's dangerous. Phil!

What?
- Shift your legs!

We should've taken it
to my father to fix.

Stay close to shore
and head over there.

Shh! Watch your paddle, God!

Did you hear the shots?
- Yeah, four gunshots.

And three or four arrowshots.

Maybe Albert got something!

What did those other guys say?

The kid said...

Oh, there's a kid?
Let's kick the shit out of him!

He said he'd been there
since five in the morning.

Does he think he owns the lake?

There are seven of them.
- Seven!

How many on the other lake?

Three of us here,
four on the second lake.

Listen. l might camp
out here tonight.

No problem? Great!

Do we keep hunting here?
- Yeah, tonight l'm camping out.

l'm putting up a tent over there.

Sure, he told me...

they've killed four moose there...
illegally.

lllegally?

Were they bucks?

Our guide says he's never seen
a buck like the one we got.

How big were the antlers?
Fifty inches? Forty?

l didn't ask, but he says
it was an old one.

Listen... listen...

You make more noise than a moose.

lt's not easy today, believe me.

Did you sleep for awhile?
- No!

Because l couldn't see you
from their platform.

What's wrong, can't get out?

l knew l should've come
out with Normand.

l saw some fresh tracks behind.
- So what do you want to do,

stay here or go hunt
somewhere else?

lt's too early to quit.
Stay with the canoe.

Stay on the point, l'll work
my way along this channel.

Then l'll have the whole bay.

What about them?
They might shoot at us.

They're staying put.
- You're sure?

They call themselves
the ''Wolf Pack.''

''Wolf Pack,'' maybe we
should shoot at them!

Jesus! This canoe is dangerous!

Hey, know what we should do?

We should give it to Bert.

Bert and Maurice. Let them
try shooting an arrow in this!

l told you it was tippy.

You hit the rocks!
- l didn't. l told you to wait!

l was waiting!

You're in such a goddamn rush
to get back.

l never even moved!
l never moved an inch!

l was waiting.

Grab your end.

Stop playing Tarzan.

Gonna hang it
on the clothesline to dry?

What's the matter,
lost your sense of humour?

Come.

Like it or not we have to
go back now to dry out!

Don't talk to me.
- Okay, l won't.

Shit on you!

l won't talk, l'll beat
you to the car.

You can walk to camp!
- Can't wait to get back, eh?

But, when you change partners...

Right! l should've stuck
with your brother.

He wouldn't cry over
a tipped canoe.

Yeah.

Wait for me!

Goddam dummy!

Bloody jerk!
- You can't even balance a canoe!

l won't hunt with you for long!
- l said to slow down.

He makes us look like idiots!

l need at least two days
to dry off.

Just look what Philippe
did to me!

Goddamn dummy!

Can't you guys handle a canoe?

l said, ''Wait, there's a rock.''
He runs right into it.

Here, l've got just what you need.

Better put it on. The floor's wet!

Know what happened, Bernard?

Close to shore, he hits a rock.
So l tell him,

Back up, we'll try there.

He takes the fucking paddle
to back up and it slips!

lt did not!

l just pushed back gently!

You've got to be goddamn hard up
to go hunting with this guy.

How did my brother
stand you so long?

l was with him five years
and no crap!

lf he tipped a canoe
he'd just grab it and get out!

You haven't stopped crying yet!
- Hey, l've been hunting too.

Get anything?

Sure, come and see.

A bunch of jackrabbits.

And all l had was a knife!

Anyway, that's the last time
l go hunting...

with a guy who wasn't
drunk last night.

That's it. l shouldn't have gone
with a guy who was drunk.

Right. Besides, he's half English!

Christ it's cold!
Can't you light the stove?

l'll light it up all right!

The stove, l said.
- What for?

Oh, might as well.
lt needs some wood anyway.

Bernard! l'd just finished saying
that in hunting and fishing...

l'd never tipped a canoe!

A second before!

Then that dummy had to dunk me.

Cleaning a rabbit's not easy.

ls she hungry, Barney?
- She's hungry.

You sure have a way
with animals.

Come on...

That's it.

Are you full... huh?

Watch, Albert.

Now, grab it here, like this.

All the way in?

Like that. But be careful not to
burst the bladder... down here.

Okay? Now hold it like this.

lt takes some acrobatics here.

Dammit.

The bladder's tricky.

l never had such trouble
cleaning a rabbit.

Now,

see the little hole there?

Run your knife through
like this...

to cut it open.

Then you grab your tail.

Not yours, the rabbit's.

l won't say this is a pleasure.
- No?

But it's very instructive.

Wait till we're cleaning a moose!

Oh, oh, it's starting to get messy!

Now?
- Yep.

Can l use my knife?

No, put your hand in.

Go ahead, Bert.

Watch the bladder.
- Don't let it bite you.

Just pull on the gut.

Sickening!

lt's not sickening at all.

So why do l feel sick
all of a sudden?

l've got a handful of guts...

and l can't figure out
why l feel sick!

Well, don't throw up!
- No, no.

l'll still do it, but Jesus!

You're supposed to heave
its guts, not yours.

Might as well heave together!

How ya doing, Albert?

He's cleaning out
two things at once.

What'll you do
when we clean the goat?

l said l'd do it
and l will, Bernard.

l'll show you what
perseverance can do.

Then how come you're crying?

What a waste! We could've
eaten your breakfast!

And had all that rum!

Christ, what a job!

That's why l never do it.
lt makes me sick too.

You're only doing it because
Bernard told you you couldn't.

No, l want to learn.
And it has to be done.

l want to do my share.

Up, girl.

Come, little one.

So?

We saw a big buck
and a nice little mother.

You say you saw
your mother-in-law?

We got one, too.
- Really?

Now we have to go get it.

We need a little muscle.

Where's the liver?

Trust Maurice to turn up
with some story.

lt's true, didn't you
hear the shots?

We heard lots of arrows whiz by.

Arrows?

Christ, y'couldn't hear yourself
think out there!

So you got one, Maurice?

Yup. Plus l missed a buck
and a cow this morning.

l fired 8 shots at them
at 6:45. But l missed.

l missed them both.

lt's a mile from the road.

How'd you do it? You never got
out of your truck all morning...

and your gun only shoots 800 feet.

lt'd take three shots to reach it!

Listen, y'want to hunt
with a pro, just come with me.

lt's a real beauty.

lt better be.

Anyone bring the butcher's saw?
- Yes, yes, don't worry.

What does your compass read?

Due north.
- Damn.

l thought we were going due west.

Jesus, how are we
going to find it?

lf you'd killed a moose...

you'd still be shaking,
you'd shit in your pants!

l did! But with two pairs of long
johns on, you can't smell it!

He has fur this long!
- ls he old?

Sure. lt's an old buck,
with big antlers.

Does he have a beard?
- Uh, huh.

The head alone must weigh 200 lbs.

And big lips, my friend...

and legs! Huge!

Can't wait to see it.

Oh it's big!
700 or 800 lbs. For sure!

Fifty bucks on it, Maurice?
- Right.

Well, get it out.
- Put it on the table.

No, give Barney your fifty,
and l'll give him mine.

lf you didn't get anything...

Okay, if l didn't get
anything, Barney.

And l don't mean a partridge,
l mean a moose!

Listen.
- No, no, we're talking moose here!

lf l didn't kill...
-A moose!

lf l didn't kill...
-A moose!

lf at 9 a.m. l didn't kill...
- A moose!

you get fifty bucks.

l'm not talking about
killing time at 9 a.m.

l'm talking about a moose!

So put down fifty on a moose.
- l'll put down fifty...

and l'll have another drink.

All this over a little moose?

Here Barney.

Fifty bucks on this moose
he supposedly killed at 9.

Come on, cash on the barrel.

Wait, l'll do better than that.

l'll put up a hundred
to your fifty.

Sixty.
- Bernard.

l'm not worried about the money.
- Eighty.

When l'm really sure of something...
-A hundred!

You mother... if it's not true.

Where is it?

Bernard, get out your cleaver!

lt's a bear for Chrissake!
l knew it!

Oh Jesus.

l bet he killed it in its sleep.

To hell with it.
Let him drag it out himself.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Look at those teeth!
- Okay, let's open it up.

Miss two moose and ambush a bear.
That's you, Maurice.

Hey, just feel this fur.

just feel this fur.
- lt's very nice.

Stroke this once,
you'll never want a woman again!

Yeah, ''She fucks like a bear!''

Go to it, Barney.

Oh, Barney.

Be careful of the scrotum.
l want it to make a tobacco pouch.

The master's touch!

Hey, how do you
plan to get it out?

Carry it. That's our job.

No way-l never touch bears.

This side's not even heavy!
- Oh yeah?

Give it to me then.
- You're a loser, y'know that Bert?

lt's true? Or are you just
taking us for a walk?.

lt's true, l wouldn't ask you
for nothing.

Okay goddammit, we'll go then.

But by Christ, if we slog
through the mud for nothing...

you're gonna roll in it!

Y'didn't wait!

Y'didn't wait for me.

l couldn't tell which trail you
took, there were tracks all over.

The truck's facing the wrong way.

l'll turn it around. Just lay
it down, if it's not too wet.

What d'you think, Michel?

lt's okay. Just lay it down there.

Don't complain.
Your pants are dry.

That's because you lost me.

Are you tired?

Tired isn't the word!

You make good pall-bearers.

That's what you need on a hunt.

You're hired.
That weighs a good 200lbs.

l wonder if you'd manage
a 1000 lb. moose.

Good thing l missed.

That's right.

You almost had one this morning.

Michel got one now!

What do you think
he did while he waited?

We have to get it now.
- Y'got a moose?

Didn't you hear the shots?
Two shots.

Where did you go?

Through here.

About...
- To the lake?

A quarter or half a mile.

There you go.

You guys believe
everything you hear?

What's that behind you, Nicky?

Jesus! Look!

Wait, that's the bear's liver.
- No, no.

Remember, Barney said
to leave its liver behind?

Besides, my hands
are covered with blood.

Goddammit, it can't be.
- We'll go see.

Was it at the lake?

After l lost you,

l came back with the truck.

l figured you'd go to the lake,
so l went there.

Nobody's at the lake.

l'm coming back around the lake.

We're face to face
and l don't have a gun!

l race back for Bernard's gun.
Then back into the woods.

Jerk! Why didn't you
have your gun?

All l was looking for
was his kill.

Y'know l shot at two this
morning at 6:45.

ls it big?
- No, small.

So l got Bernard's gun
from the truck.

lt doesn't shoot straight.
- l know.

l aimed for the chest
and hit the stomach.

l don't know.

Dirty here, isn't it?

Yeah, it's true.
- lt's a nice one.

Must be the one Maurice
missed this morning.

Christ. That hole's as big
as a ping-pong ball.

No one believed me.

Dumb bitch.

Y'took it right between the eyes!

Did you get a kiss too?

Ah, she was too messy.
All covered with blood.

l'll kiss her later.

A bear and a moose
the first morning!

First day of hunting,
first morning after, first binge.

We're doing fine!

Some fresh liver Albert?
- l'll have mine well cooked.

Nice, fresh, raw moose liver!
-Albert, l'm sure you've eaten...

girls who were ''in the red'' a bit.
lt's the same idea.

Your bank account's in the red,
so what's the problem?

Come on, come on.

Okay, have the rest now.
l don't want to waste it.

''He's one of us!''

''He ate his liver without a fuss!''

He's tossing his cookies
before they're baked!

You'd never get me
to eat raw liver!

Okay, time to say grace.

''Bless us Lord, for what
we are about to receive...

''and if there's too much for us,

''well Christ! Give it to those
who have nothing!''

Amen.
- To us, you mean!

The ones without a kill!

To you then!

Moose liver!

l'll only eat it
because it's moose.

Give it to me then...
- No! l'm gonna eat it anyway!

l'll eat it because
l don't like it.

God you're difficult!
- Yeah, yeah.

Get away!

Don't take food from
a guy without a kill.

D'you like it or not?
- You make a kill...

l eat your liver.
l get a kill, you can eat mine.

Y'like it or...
- l hate it, but l'm eating it!

Then give it to me!

lf y'want more go get it,
but l'm eating this!

Even if it makes me gag.

God you're difficult!

Y'didn't even bleed
the damn thing!

You bleed a moose, not a liver.
Y'can't bleed a liver.

You got a moose, we want one.
Show us how you called it.

Go on, show us.

Doesn't anyone know how
to call a moose around here?

Barney's good.
- Philippe's great.

Okay, let's have some fun!

With that nose, Victor,
you must be good!

Okay Victor, you first.

What?
- Give us a call.

A call?

We're having a little contest.
Go on, pick one.

Which one d'you want?

This, a call? lt's too big.
Must be a ''wide-angle'' call.

Very nice. lf you needed a crap
you would've done it by now.

Hey Maurice, it's your turn.

Oh good, on his knees!

The drunker you are the better
your call. So drink up, boys.

Another sick buck.

You see, it worked.

Next!

This is the only call l know!

Albert... Albert!

That's not a call.
That's constipation!

lt's more like a death-rattle.

l'll show you a trick.

Jesus, that's sick!

Wait, l'll show you a trick.

l can't do it.

Just swallow... the end here.

Shoot, Albert, shoot!
You seduced a bullfrog!

Wait a minute, Albert!

Come on, l've never done it before.
- Wait.

Pretend you're a Bingo caller.

0 - 0 - 0 67!

But this way.

Then you've got it!

Go on, Philippe!
- My mouth's full.

First we clean this,
then we clean out your mouth.

We'll even help you chew!

There!

Now call for Chrissake, call!

Don't be shy.

Philippe is goddamn great!
- Yeah, he's good.

Hey, shut the door.
lt'll charge right in!

Laval, get that door.

Lock the doors.

Move Albert,
you're distracting me!

You're depressing me.

A very nice little call.
- Had enough!

Wait. l need my lndian hat,
the one l found in the shack.

Do your lovesick beagle.

He-e-ey...

Moo-o-o-se!

No, this is great.
lf it's coming at me too fast...

l shut the vent.
Stops it dead in its tracks!

lt stops and he shoots it.

Sure you could use it.

Could?. Christ, a stovepipe
with a vent and you're all set!

There's even a filter in there.

l'll show you.

l'll show you how
l'd use this moose call.

We take a piece of cucumber.

We add some booze.

And now to get the booze
but not the cucumber,

open the vent.

The cucumber stayed...
right here... in the call!

God, how l'd love
a chance to use it.

l think you'll have to wait
a little longer.

When Barney calls,
you can hardly hear it.

lf it comes out,
l think it'll come out...

right here.

Or maybe there.
- l think it'll come...

l'd prefer there.
- lt's too far away, there.

Know what we should do?

We should come back tomorrow
morning. At 4:30 or 5:00.

Right.
-And try again then.

Cause l don't think
it'll come now.

Tomorrow!
- lt's snowing, it'll want shelter.

This morning, did you want
to get up at 4:30?

Not a lot.

Tomorrow won't be any different.

l don't know.

Why not?

Morning and dusk
are the two best times.

Well... at dusk,
we've got all our energy.

You don't want to get up at 4 a.m.
- But mornings're better.

Look, we don't go to bed till 2.
We can't get up at 4.

Ohh, 2 o'clock. Don't exaggerate!

Some people go to bed at 2,

but up till now
l've been in bed by 10.

Just before the dishes.

We're in bed by 10
and drenched by 12.

He'll be back tonight,
with his pail of water.

Think so?

What we should do...

is take a pot of water
with us up to the room.

When he comes up we'll
throw it right in his face!

Ohh, yeah!

That's just the way Bernard is.
- lt's a sign of affection.

Right. That's how he shows it.

H-e-ere moose moose moose.

Your shimmering beast?
- Yes.

You still see it that way?
- Oh yes!

Think it'll come out?

Wherever l look, l see it.

Like a god?
- Yes!

l see it... pure...
white... resplendent!

God or not, we're freezing
our asses off for it.

What?

This... divinity is freezing
our asses off!

Some people spend their
lives waiting to see a god.

Yeah, you're right.

Still, Barney could at least...

let him know we're here.

Call him with the
cry of the female.

l'm really getting fed up.
We've been waiting for hours.

lt's cold, it's snowing.

Want to sit down?
- No!

Tell me when you do.
We'll change places.

l can't blow my nose
without making noise.

Do it as if you were calling.

Watch, a partridge'll come out!

You got a reply!

Barney! Did you hear something?

Yes... just now.

Think it'll come out?

lt just called.

Yeah. Sounded just like him.

Barney, did you hear that?

l'm going over there.
l'll stay out of sight.

Come over here.
Come here and cover me.

Get ready, Maurice.
- Oh l'm ready!

They're nearsighted.
lt'll come right out to the edge.

My heart's racing like hell.

Hear it coming?

Jesus!

Mother of God!

We'll shoot together, Maurice.

Think he'll come out?

l don't think so.
- Why?

Too windy.
- Too windy?

lt's hardly blowing.

He's really close.

What? 100 feet?

lt's not windy enough.

lt's too windy.
- But there's no wind at all!

lt's a buck, Maurice.

l want to see it...
Damn, how l want to see it!

Hear that?
- Sure, my legs're shaking.

He'll come charging out.

There he is! There he is!

There!

Barney, think he'll attack us?

lt's too far for me.

Barney. When he comes out...
if he comes out... get your gun.

But let us shoot first.

lf l hit him,
or Maurice hits him,

don't shoot.
We'll fire more arrows.

lf we don't hit him...

but he doesn't run, give us
time to get another arrow.

But if you see he's going
to run, shoot him!

lf we get him, Maurice,

there'll be some party
tonight at the shack!

Jesus, yeah!

They'd never believe us!

The two archers!

But l'm scared.

Make him come out, Barney.

You know how to talk to him.

He's coming. There he is!

Where?
- There!

He'll come out there.

God, he's moaning!

There he is!

Where?
- There!

Well, where there?

l can't shoot, he's in the woods.

He's coming out, get ready.

He's coming.

Don't shoot too soon.
- Hey, l saw something move!

What?

Hey, it's... l see him.

Just some hunters.
- They were replying to your call.

Call again.

lt is a hunter.

lt's Bernard, goddammit!

ls that you, Bernard?

And we're standing here
scared out of our wits.

The mythic creature, the antlers,
the shimmering beast.

Hiyo-o-o Silver!

What a pair of loonies!

We're no loonies.
We're drunk as skunks.

What kinda loonies y'want?
-At least we can still walk!

Y'think you're pretty smart.
- Oh, shit!

Your friend with the call, too.

Ah, my friend with
the call knows his job!

Watch your gun!

Quit bitching, Albert.

l'm not bitching, l just think
you're both acting like...

Like what?

Blockheads.
- Whoa, gimme my glasses!

Stay there, then.

Take this, Michel.

l'm going to check on my rabbits.

l'll... l'll hang on to you.

No, no, no...

l've gotta see... l've gotta
see to my rabbits.

You see to them, l'll see to you...

so y'don't fall into the oven.

What the hell's in there?

Smells like chicken.

They're fine.
- They're fine?

Cooking in each others arms.

l'm gonna get a good grip
and hang on to you.

Put the cover on.

Push in the rack,
clo-o-se the door.

Nobody lets me cook in peace.

Where'd you go, Bernard?
C'mere, l'll help you up.

Wait, l'll get up first.

Just need something to hang on to.
- What are you doing?

Get up. Let go of the chair...
God, we're soaked to the skin!

Well, it's your own fault.

You're all dry!
- l know, l went hunting.

You? Christ, we did all the
hunting-look at us, we're soaked!

You freaked, huh?

l was scared-l thought
a huge bull was coming.

l was even saying ''Hail Marys''
for God's sake.

And you think it's funny.

And good ol' Barney's just
calling away the whole time.

We set it up with Barney
ahead of time.

l'd reply...

He'd do his job. He'd call back.

You're a big help, Barney!

Barney, c'mere.

He's splashing water,
and calling... the whole bit.

Show them, Barney.
- Here, sit down Barney.

Made me look like a fool.

He doesn't look
like a fool, you do!

That's what l said,
l look like a fool.

Jesus, y'don't have to tell me!

l was truly afraid, Barney.

Hey, Barney...

Did the moose reply?

He did?
- Oh yeah, sure.

No moose, but they're saying
''Here he comes.''

Lay off, will you?

One thing. We're not going out
together tomorrow, Barney.

Don't sweat it, Albert. Someone's
always gotta be the fall guy.

You got a thrill.

Not us. We had fun.

Anyway, l forgive you.
- Oh, Jesus, Albert...

What'd they do to you?

lt's an extraordinary tale,
truly inspired. l bet no hunter...

in the history of Quebec
has gone through that before.

But what happened?

l trembled before these two clowns!

Pretty good, considering
the state they're in.

lt worked... perfectly.

lt's true. The brute l had
pictured in my mind...

l could feel it!

Oh, it shimmered,
it was wonderful!

l heard the moose,
l saw the moose.

lt was a fantastic beast...

that left in its wake...

a whole mythology!

l mean, just look at those two.

Christ, what a story!

l've never seen moose like them...

never in my bloody life.

Y'know, l even told Barney,

''That's not a cow, that's
a buck calling, wait and see!''

Look at my bucks!

We kept hearing noises
in the woods.

Will he come out?

lt was them?
- lt was those idiots all along!

l'd like to say...

that was the best trick
ever played on me.

Thank you very much.

Anyone pull a trick like that on
you, first time you went hunting?

Easy, Albert.
- What kind of trick?.

Did they or not?

l was shaking!

Of course l forgive you,
and l'll shake hands.

But did you enjoy it or not?

Cause if you didn't...

l'm gonna finish your drink.

Who's for a little rocket fuel?

Like a shot?
- No, no, no.

l will.

Oh no, not that.

Just a little.
- No, no. l tried that once today.

l didn't kill 'em...

The time has come.

C'mere you moose-men...
time for a drink!

Shit, twist my arm!

C'mere and hold this onion.
Steady Albert!

Are we having a toast or not?
C'mon Michel!

Chef. Don't chef,
you'll cut yourself.

On your feet, Michel!
- l don't want to risk it.

Jesus, at this rate
you'll be drinking alone.

l'm not taking any chances.
- Here, Bernard.

A toast... to you.

l want to drink to...

to your humour, a humour that's-

Who's this to?

To both of you.

No, l don't drink.
Haven't had a drop in seven years.

Listen... There!

You think l'd take a drink?.
Me?

Never drink. A teetotaller, sir.

Watch, they're going
to force me, Laurier.

Here's to the strength
of your spirituality.

What you did took some
very strong spirits.

Now wait a minute...

or maybe we should wait
till tomorrow morning.

Lauriault did that... he was
trying to take out my prostate.

He's a great doctor!

God you work bad when you're drunk.

Yeah, l'm flying!

See, booze leads to derision.
But no worse than that.

Want to tell me something?

Albert, l've met a lot of people
in my backbreaking profession.

When l chose my trade, l met...
l'll call him the White Chef.

His name was Mister White.

He croaked on a gas stove and...

Christ... y'know... l was 1 7
when l decided to be a cook.

But the White Chef... shit,
his heart just... gave out.

Not that he hadn't any. He had
enough for 25 of the rest of us.

That's beautiful.

He died on his gas stove...

Because... his ticker gave out.

l come in...

l see the White Chef...

stretched out on his stove.
All four burners are lit.

He was burning up.

ln French cuisine,
it's called ''charring gently.''

So, l grab his shirt...
it comes away in my hand.

l had to take him by the ears
and lay him down on the floor.

He was only 55.

A beautiful creature
and a good guy.

He got drunk with us
at least three times a week.

And y'know...

when you were puking your
guts out... over those rabbits,

l was reminded of that.

We'll plant some tomatoes
to mark your spot.

We couldn't even do that
for the White Chef.

He died on a concrete floor.

l won't keep you long, Albert.

But even if
we're always on your back,

y'know l love you.

Who's first in the floor-show?

Go on, Albert, you can do it.
- No, no.

No Bernard, l don't like to
make a spectacle of myself.

Take it off!
Take it all off!

ls it the President's wish
that Albert take it all off?

To hell with the President,
the Secretary has power of veto.

My God you're hairy!
- lf Michel can do it...

Bernard, come sit down.
- l need cigarettes.

Sit down.

Hey, look at all those pimples.
You got crabs or something?

You two!
- Hey, c'mon.

Look at this.

Hey, what am l bid...
what am l bid for these two?

Two fine bucks?

Wait, wait. Sit down!

There's nothing like a guy
who takes care of his cold!

Oh, Christ Almighty Bernard.
You're disgusting!

You bastards may be hairier,
but Goddammit y'don't scare me.

A little maple syrup?

What can y'do with
a guy like that?

What can y'do?

Can't even take him hunting.
- That's right.

He'd scare the partridges.
- Hey, a drink!

Look. He's not... a man yet!
- His belly-button's still wet.

lt is, it is.
- Soaking wet.

Shit, Albert, you're
splashing it all over.

Has any hunter
in the history of Quebec...

been able to party
with his own moose?

The two moose
he was out there hunting?

Barney... Barney's calling.

l said Barney, Good God, you're
not calling, you're speaking!

Look at this...

Look at these hairy bastards.

There.

That's how we get people
like you to sit down.

Are you aware that...

No, l'm not ''aware that'' anything.

When it's time to sit, sit!
- Albert, here!

Marmalade, it'll sober you up.

Since you're the one offering,
l'll have some Bernard.

Wait, no!
- God, l love marmalade!

Give me some marmalade, Bernard,
since you're offering.

Do you understand that?

Thank you Bernard, for that
beautiful gesture... l thank you.

Give him some more.

More. He'll give us a poem.

''Lord, if only l'd been wise,
yesterday when l was young.''

''l'd never've eaten marmalade
the day the nuts were on parade.''

Bernard, l'm overwhelmed...
sit down a minute.

Okay... turn around.

Look at me... good!

Now you sit here.
- Look at me. Wait.

l want to talk to you. Sit down!
- Stéphane-Albert wants to talk.

Sit, both of you!

l've never had such problems
with discipline... come on!

Just say what you have to say.

Y'know, we didn't go
to a Seminary.

Here's what l want to say.

You two got me mad today.

No, no!
- Did we?

l have to piss!

But no one's ever got
me mad so brilliantly!

No, you stay here.
- No one keeps me from pissing.

l've gotta piss, Albert!
- Where?

Outside, for Chrissake!

Go piss then. But come right back!

l don't have to now.
- Empty your bladder!

Go on empty it!

Albert!
- You killed the need.

Go empty it!

Okay. We'll go empty it together!

Y'didn't show me how to
clean a rabbit for nothing!

l've seen bladders before!

Are your hands clean?

Why are you up?

Lay off. l'm gonna fix him good.

Y'know Bernard,

you've pissed me off long enough.

Look at me.

Y'pissed me off long enough.
- So?

You're not...
- l'm gonna fix you!

Let's have a drink.
- Look at me!

Hey, go sit down!

You want the same?

Now sit down, for God's sake!

l have to piss!
- Sit down!

How'm l supposed to say
what l have to say?

Want another smack?
- Go piss then.

C'mon Michel, let's go piss.

You were mountain...

You were snow...
You were wind...

You were the call...
You were Barney!

What more can l say?
You are poets!

Why? Because your powers
of suggestion are very keen.

Sit down.
- You created a being for me.

l lay in wait for that being!
- Sit!

An incredible, shimmering being.

An incredibly... fabulous being.

But what did l get instead
of that being?

You were being screwed.

Ovid, one of the great Roman poets,

gave some advice
to young ladies-Nicky, c'mere.

And to young men. C'mere,
we'll all tell him at once.

l won't even need my guitar.

Ovid said this.

Young man.

Look at him.

ls that an inspiring face?

You can't hate a guy like him.

We're giving Bernard
some advice... on love.

First, and this was important
in ancient times,

one must never have
flyway nose hairs!

Well! Just look at this!

Second thing, Bernard.

l won't uncover you,
l'll discover you!

Watch him, Bernard!
- Second thing is this.

When you kiss, young man...

always have...

Don't you kiss him, Albert!

No, go on if you're tempted.
Let yourself go.

lt's not that l'm not tempted.

l'm not lucid enough.

Look, he's puckering
up his ruby lips!

Goddammit, listen, it's been
three days and l miss my wife.

Why don't you guys get lost?

Bernard! l want to say this.

Your hairiness...

Your hairiness...
- Your furriness!

delights me!

But what l like
even more about you...

is your sense...

your sense of...
- He's laughing!

Go on... go on Bernard,
laugh at him!... as usual!

Your sense of sin, Bernard.

You sweat pure sin.

Bernard! Your cheek...

your cheek... is the ''Holy Grail.''

Right, he's a holy shit.

We all know that!

A son of a bitch!

Now come on.
Let me versify in peace!

Listen! Your cheek
is the Holy Grail.

Don't need a drink
to have fun with Albert!

lf your cheek is the Grail,
your nose must be Excalibur!

l proffer my lips...

l drink my fill at your spring,
my loving friend.

And your unseeing eyes say to me.

They say this to me.

''Soul...''

''Soul who hears me... ''

''Will you, this one
time in your life,''

''show some respect...
to my drunken ecstasy.''

And because the soul...
- He'll go on all night!

Because the soul has spoken...

and l respect drunkenness,

l'm going to play...

one of my funeral odes for you.

This one's by a friend
from Lac St. Jean, but...

l'll play it with the soul
of the Gatineau.

lt's called ''Logs on the River.''

Don't, you'll burn him!

Close the coffin,
he's starting to smell!

Ah Bernard, your lips parted.

Barney, want some gasoline?

Get Philippe to piss on it.
That'll get it going.

l need two lips
of a cunt to rub together.

What, two lips of a cunt?
- Yeah.

Get a redhead,
their hairs are stiffer.

More sparks.

Won't the fire
scare the moose away?

Sure.

Doesn't matter. We have to eat,
whether they're scared or not.

Want a hand, Barney?
- No.

Go on Laurier... you too, Philippe.

Yeah. You didn't do much walking.

Hey, l walked 31/2 hours today.

What! You did 35 minutes!

We saw fresh body-prints
all round the swamp.

lt wasn't a sleeping moose.
We found pieces of your sweater.

Some days are like that;
l walked too much this morning.

He'd even caught
his hat-feather on a stump.

Hey, here's Albert.

You all look comfy.
- See anything?

Did you get that magpie?

No, l got its picture, though.

This afternoon, come with me.
- No, no, l'm staying put.

l'll stay here and guard the camp.

What'll you do, protect the fire?

l've been getting palpitations
every ten steps l take.

Y'smoke too much!

Give it up!
- l smoke too much.

l'm an average smoker.

Shot of rum, Albert?

Sure, l never turn down
a shot of rum.

Bert!
- What?

Did you smoke on the hunt?

Shit, look at this bottle.

Y'don't drink the bottle,
y'drink the rum.

Still.

Yes, l smoked on the hunt.

What did we tell you?
- l didn't have many.

No wonder y'didn't see a moose.
Y'never will if y'keep smoking.

You guys haven't drunk much.

We just got here.
- We haven't had any yet.

Some need booze.

We get high on poetry.
And we got sick because of it.

God, you guys are hard on me.

No more drinking sprees.

When the smoke follows you,
your wife's cheating on you.

What?

Oh, Albert,
aren't you a swinger?

The way you went after Bernard
l thought you swung both ways!

What'd Barney say?
- l don't know, what?

Oh, l don't want to say, Albert.

Tell him Barney.

When smoke follows you...

Yeah, go on...
''Someone's cutting your grass.''

lt means your wife's
cheating on you!

Was the smoke following me?

lt has been for awhile.

Look, your horns are growing.

Don't worry... you aren't the first.

What you're saying hurts me.

Oh great, something else
to get ''palpitations'' over!

Who'll go to the lake for water?.
- What lake?

The one down in the bog?
- Barney says the water's good.

Not me.
- Jesus Christ! Y'never do anything!

What do you mean?

You're lazy! Y'didn't even
eat your supper last night!

Oh, you think that's funny too?

No, l'm going to cry.

Did you eat supper or not?
- No, l didn't.

See, too lazy. Had to go straight
to bed... Go on, get the pail.

l'm tired, Nicky.

You're descended from
water carriers, so why not?

What, ''water carriers?''

Aren't the Québécois
a race of water carriers?

Aren't we? You could add
that to one of your poems.

Yeah, so do your job.

That's not a helmet for stray
bullets. You put water in it.

lf it's too heavy
just fill it halfway.

Go on, go on...
- l'm not going.

Y'didn't even do any walking!

You went to bed at 7.
- But l was up at 3.

And you didn't
get us up to play cards?

We were bored the whole night.
- Oh yeah.

Sure. lt got so bad
we fell asleep.

Where is this lake?
- Just down there.

l'll sink in to my knees.
- No you won't.

lf y'do, the loggers
have a crane down there.

Barney, better give him
your compass.

God, what a klutz!

l am not lazy...
l never was and you know it.

No? ls that why
you're walking so fast?

He's tired already.

lf he keeps stumbling like that
he'll end up in the lake.

l keep hearing voices.

That's real anguish.

Hey, look out for moose,
want me to go along?

Want me to bring my gun, Albert?

Don't splash too much,
you'll scare the moose.

What should l do if l see one?

lf you see one...
- Call us.

We'll shoot it.

Okay.

Throw a pail of water in its face.
That'll blind it till we arrive.

Ah, two minutes of peace.

At his rate, we've got
more than two minutes.

We're good for half an hour.

Hurry up, the fire's going out!

Look at him go.

What a klutz!

We should fire a shot...

into the water beside him.

No just into the air,
to scare him.

Go on, get out your gun.

Should l use the .410?
- Yes, yes!

You call once, then l'll fire.

Then we all shout,
''Did y'hit it, did y'hit it?''

Louder, Barney... louder!

Did y'hit it?

C'mon, we got one! Albert!

l won't go there.

Why not?

Shit, bloody hell.

Listen to him swear.

Why'd you go all the way down?
There's a creek just over there.

Christ, y'were right there!

l'm staying here with Barney.

lt's too much.

You never leave me alone.

What's the matter?

l don't think it's funny.

Something's wrong.
l can't catch my breath.

Get the water there.

Give it to me. l'll go.

Planning to drop dead soon?

Just tell us.
We'll get you out of the woods.

Beans hot yet, Barney?
- They're done.

Let's start then.
- We've got beans and ham.

Hey, we forgot
a goddamn serving spoon.

We'll have to use a gunstock.

Don't we have a cup?

What is it?

Can you get me something to eat?

While you lie around?
Shit, l'm not your mother!

l'm so tired.
- You? l walked four hours today!

Me too... with a backpack!
- l don't ask Nicky for help.

But why do you pick on me?
- Oh God!

D'you want water for your tea?

lf moose drink there,
you can get a pail of water.

But a moose is smaller.

lt's not so dumb, you mean.

Barney... to prove l'm not dead yet,

l'll get up
and get something to eat.

You're just a bunch of bastards.
Not you Barney, these guys.

Why should we serve
you all the time?

You don't. How can you say that?
- Your beans're here.

They are? Oh, thanks.

He'll serve you,
but y'have to get your own plate.

You dropped your cigarettes.
- lt's empty.

Lots for everyone.

That's for you.

lf they want any
they can get it themselves.

What is this?
- lt's guinea-hen.

Hey Albert, butter some bread
for me? And get me a fork?.

Albert, l feel like some toast.
- Huh?

Our laughing stock for the day.

Every day we pick a number.

This makes six in a row
we've picked yours!

What family do guinea-hens
belong to?

l don't know.

Family matters never interested me.

l can tell you one thing.

lt flies less than a partridge
and more than...

a chicken!

To kill'em you have
to tie'em to a tree.

These the ones
you chased up that tree?

Yeah.

They're very good.

Yeah.
- Delicious.

Hey Barney, think it's a good
day for cards at the shack?.

We won't be bothered
by wandering moose?

One thing l'll never understand.

Those fucking moose. We leave
more tracks than a herd of cows...

but they never find us.

We don't find them either.

Seems to me, if l were a moose
l'd found me long ago.

Do you think a moose would
hang around those loggers?

Sure, moose are very... nosy.

How come they never nose up to me?

You stink of gin.

That's right.
Those moose are teetotallers.

Are we off, Nick?.

No point, right Nicky?
Let's take a nap.

l'm all set,
under a tree, in the shade.

And Albert can protect us
with his bow...

in case of a moose attack.

You'll cover us, Albert?

We're depending on you.
- l'll cover you.

Okay. l'm leaving...
l'll meet you on the mountain.

Going alone?

He'll catch up.

l'll go too
if y'wait a half-hour.

l was only gonna make
him wait twenty minutes!

lt's just that the moose
are doing the same as you.

You don't want to disturb
the poor things' sleep.

Look, we just finished lunch.
What's the time?

Ten to two.
- Ah, they just finished lunch, too.

Right now they're discussing
whether to go or have a nap.

lf you bother them now,
you'll never get one.

Wait till they're asleep.
We'll get them up soon enough.

Okay, l'll wait
another five minutes then.

Bernard...

Bernard's a mile away.
- lt's always Bernard.

lt could never be anyone else.

l recognize Bernard, he's gentle.

Let's go.
- Where?

About your little jokes...

l've had enough!
Okay, okay... we'll go.

Bring your sling-shot.

Come on.
- l will.

Come with us, Albert.
- No.

Come on, y'big lump.
- No.

Come on, this is your chance
to see some fresh tracks.

A little walk'd do you good,
you and your heart.

Your cousin Philippe
will be all alone.

You bastard!

Oh, you're terrible.

Got me all dirty, too.

ls this where you saw
the moose turds?

Yeah, this morning.

When l found it,
it was really fresh.

Oh, give it a rest.

Look what the woodpeckers
did to this tree.

You worry about woodpeckers,
l'll worry about moose.

Nick! A little partridge hunting?

Want to? lt's 2:30.

We slept too long.

We can just make it.

lt's nice and sunny.

Got all your stuff?

l have to go get my...

my other sweater.
- l'm still sleepy.

C'mon, it'll be good for you.

l'll fall asleep while we wait.

You don't wait for partridge.

Bye!
- No, no, get ready.

How's the table coming?

Will it be ready for supper?

lf y'want a partridge,
keep your mouth shut.

You and your fucking partridge.

lf you shoot at them
like you did at that fox...

they're not in any trouble.
- Why's that?

You missed by a mile!

Lift it up.

Higher.

For guys out in the woods
you couldn't do better.

Follow me...

Your table's beautiful, Laurier.

lt really is.
- lt's country-style.

This table will feed us all.

Christ, l never saw...

a table that looked
so much like Bernard!

Nicky!

Sit down, we'll talk a little.
- l'm doing the dishes.

The dishes!
Supper's not even over yet.

Tell me about my table.

Don't you know when supper is yet?

Was l late?

No, but we can only allow
so much anarchy.

When it's okay with me, it's okay.
When it's not, it's not.

A sip of wine, then l'll tell
you something about food.

Buy why-

l know why he started
drinking so early...

and didn't come hunting
with me and Nicky.

When he starts drinking...

he ignores everything.

He's not dumb:
''l can't do dishes, l'm too drunk!''

Or he says, ''l don't
feel up to it tonight.''

And goes to bed at
9 o'clock... it's true!

That's not fair.
- l know my own cousin.

Albert...

l want to honour the table
and that's that!

l want to stay dry,
but your breath won't let me.

Keep your distance.

Shoot the shit later.
My moose gets up early.

Okay, but Nicky...
- Fifteen minutes!

Thanks a lot... sit down.

You're both... very good to me.
- Want the clock, to time him?

Here Philippe, l'll set it.

Fifteen minutes!

Good. l'll just get set up.

Part of me can't wait.

We'll go for a piss together.

No, no, l'm taking a crap.

l've got fifteen minutes?

Starting... now.

Put it there...
and give me time to sit down.

What l want to say, Laurier...

Take your piss!

l'm taking a crap!

Oh, God.

He gives me fifteen minutes
then goes for a crap.

And with all those pinups
in the shithouse... Laurier, listen.

ls he going or not?

Well, he has every right to.

l'm gonna read up on moose hunting.
- Three minutes!

Philippe, take the clock and call
out the time every six minutes.

You still have exactly...

Fourteen minutes.

That's a shame, Christ.

l just have to touch this
and l start to shake!

l swear.

Bernard...

l have here...
- Hey, Bert!

What is...

the art of moose hunting?

lt's silence.

That's the key.

lt's not saying... a fucking... word!

That's what's important.

You're out in the muskeg.

You set up...

behind a pine or a spruce...

or in the tall grass.

Then you sit down
with your gun... okay?

You get a guy
like Nicky to call.

l call better,
but l let him do it sometimes.

After all, he's my partner!

But here's what you
have to understand.

Y'get behind a pine or a spruce...

and you let out one
or two little calls.

Just to say...

to get his blood running...

to get him aroused.
That's what's important.

But y'know, this morning...

We've been here what,
five days now?

And for the first time
on the hunt, l admired you.

lt was the first morning
that l left you...

all alone... in the muskeg...

in a marsh... whatever.

ln a swamp... full of frogs.

l went on...

l was circling the lake...
when l saw some fresh tracks.

l could tell it was a buck.

Bert... where are you?

He's gone... We're too late.

l tracked him along the shore.
He's on the mountain.

No point in staying here.

He only came to eat lily-roots.

A big buck!

The spot where he slept...

The trees are all scraped.

He was tossing his head...

What of it?

What?

Don't tell me
there's another poet in the family!

See anybody else
on the lake this morning?

What you said
was really beautiful, Philippe.

Let me tell you something, Nicolas.

This guy got up this morning!

Bern! Bern, after four days...

l admire Albert.

You tell'em!
- Today, only today.

Go on... go on!
- Just from...

More!
- 4:25 a.m...

till he got drunk
while l went partridge hunting.

l never got drunk,
on the contrary.

You got plastered!

No... l admired him the whole
four hours l was with him.

Four hours, that's a lot!

No, here's a guy who got up early.

That's important, Nick,
a guy who gets up.

''The early bird
gets its fucking worm!''

Hey! Time's up!

l was finished anyway.

Thanks Philippe, thanks a lot.

Hey, it went off again!

Barney!
- Yeah.

Don't go away.
- No, no.

We have a table to pay
homage to, and we will.

Look at Philippe: for once
we've got proof he gets drunk too!

This tribute will happen...
Finish the dishes, Nicky.

We will, don't worry.
- Fine!

But Good Lord, will you come
and sit next to me then?

Who are you asking,
God the Father?.

You're close!

Look Bernard, l'd like it
very much if you'd join me...

at the table with
Nicky and Barney.

We'll sit down
when the work's done.

Fine, finish what you're doing.

Finish up, then come sit down.

We can hear you.
- Christ, Albert!

l can't talk to you from here.

Some gotta drink,
others gotta do the work.

Our job for you is...
pour yourself a drink.

Laurier, should we give him
five more minutes?

Okay... Bert, remember when...

we were teaching
at the same college and we were...

Can you tell they're from
the same family?

Bert... C'mon, look at me Bert.

Bert! Look at me!

We were teaching
at the same goddamn college... okay?

Remember when l came to your room...

and l said...

Christ, Bert, can't you
control your students?

l can't make myself
heard next door!

Remember that?

Because my students
were so happy, is that it?

Well sure... they were loving it.

Everybody was yelling, smiling.

Oh, l've had it, Bernard.

Sit down. l have something
to tell you.

l'm going to spill my guts
and l won't do it without you.

l'm aching to speak to you.

l don't doubt it for a second.

Then why are you there
with your fruit, not at the table?

l have something to say.

Why do l have to listen like
God the Father... beside God the Son?

lf you have something to say,
say it; l have things to do.

l'm thirsty, l'm making a lemonade.
That okay with you?

Laurier built a table
for the club members.

l'm not a club member at all.

But goddammit, he did his work...

in a truly honest fashion,
and more than that, with love.

l salute his ability
to express himself...

so powerfully with wood and a saw.

As for me, all l want t'say is in
this poem, dedicated to Bernard.

l wrote it like this,
l felt it like this.

And Bernard,
l'd like you to see this.

l even wrote it on the stationery
of our alienation.

Cadbury...

Kodak...

Du Maurier... oh, and Eddy.

At least they're from around
here... the plant's nearby.

Laurier, this is what it's called.

Bert, before you go on,

could l just
say a little something here?

l've had to wait in my time.

Bert, l once had to wait...

in the fucking muskeg.
My father told me...

you... stay put!

And you know him.
- Sure, he's my godfather.

Why are you telling me this?
- Stay put.

You're here for five hours,
and don't move.

That's hunting!

That's all l've done
since l got here, sit on a stump!

That's how it was, the first
time l went hunting.

Well, there's a hunter here now
who's getting very impatient.

l had something to say.

Look where they are,
the bunch of slobs.

Look at them!
- lmpatient?

Not impatient but...
- Y'just said you were!

To me, the hunt isn't just
standing in the muskeg.

lt's not the muskeg, the mountain,
the knife, or the bow.

lt's not a .303 bullet or whatever.

lt's the men right here.

Albert, we've been listening
from the start.

How many guys stay out
in the wind and cold...

to write a poem of
love and friendship?

Then you treat me like this?
- When l was on a drunk,

l flew on one bottle of wine.
You have to have a gallon.

Philippe, Laurier... want to hear
what l wrote for Bernard?

l'll read it all in one go...

despite the disturbing things
that have just been said.

lt's a poem l wrote for Bernard.

Bert, just one thing.
- Later, Philippe.

You won't let Philippe speak?.

Why?
- He didn't get a word in all week.

Sure.

lt's a poem l wrote for Bernard.

lt's called...

''Homage to Nourishment... ''

or ''Michomiche...
Season of Bernard Re-discovered.''

l'll read it...

l'll read it... straight through.

lt goes like this.

Bernard

You are rain

When the child thirsts,

And a breeze

On the painful sores.

You are the wind that beguiles

Now stormy

Now in retreat.

But ever the brother of bread

ln the poor man's mouth.

And my brother
when my mouth is unsure.

O great ram who weeps

On his sultry mistresses.

Virile joy of female rivers.

Let me tell you my tenderness
and my hurt

When you ache for a woman

When you long for the day

Loving man, sharer of enrichment

Sharer of orgasms

Who fathoms the pulse of love.

l tell you l love you

You who flees like smoke

But resembles still

The blue that l breathe

ln the blue autumn

On a hunt

That brings life.

lt's beautiful.

Bert, l like it.

You... you wrote it in the muskeg?

No don't...

Hey, l took you
hunting this morning.

Bert... Goddammit l took you
hunting this morning!

Great!

But it was good.
- Nobody said it wasn't.

And that's just what happened.
You have these power struggles...

that have to be worked out
by the members of the hunt.

What happens is...

we get to be
like a pack of wolves.

We attack the prey
all at once but...

then what happens is the wolves...

sometimes they're wolves, but
sometimes they're victims, too.

They become the moose,
then go back on the attack...

and become wolves again.

lt's the same
in any closed society.

We're all victims sometimes.

Well, in that sense, l've felt
like the moose since l arrived.

But you never attacked.
- No, that's true.

You might as well have let
me loose in the woods,

the way you all attacked.
That's how l felt.

But you had
the fewest defences, too.

Listen, it's the first time
he's ever hunted.

Nobody said it wasn't.

He's a poetic kind of guy,
the kind of guy who'll see...

a big spruce... or muskeg
like we saw today.

You and your fucking muskeg!
- Y'don't hate it, do you?

Hunting moose may not be
what's most important.

Maybe it's being out here,
with friends... getting drunk.

Putting each other on.

Letting it all out.

Giving as good as you get.

Know what's toughest when we hunt?

Getting through Thursday.

l told you we'd never make it,
some sort of shit would come up.

Last year we had a fight!

Best way to get through it
is to just go to bed.

You know why?

By Thursday...

you've spent almost a week
alone with the guys.

lt's the day...

it's the day when you think...

To me, it's the day
when you think...

of the person you love.

No woman in the world
could say to me,

no matter how beautiful.

She couldn't make me
stay by saying,

''Either it's me...''

''or that duck,''
or ''it's me or that partridge.''

l'd say ''So long,
it's the partridge.'' No contest!

Same goes for the moose.
When it comes to hunting,

l have no more soul.
Nothing else exists, that's all.

Albert, let me tell you where l
stand. l have one day left to hunt.

Tomorrow! l don't give
a shit about anything else.

Why are you telling me?

Why tell me? Why?
- Saturday...

l cook the bear for the party.
- Why tell me and not them?

Because they... because...
- Why just me?

You're the one who keeps
talking and won't go to bed.

Nicky's in bed!

Laurier's in bed!
And l'll see to Philippe.

l'll take you one at a time.
Not all at once, one at a time.

So go to bed now.

Or you be the boss and keep
talking, but you'll do it alone.

We're turning out the lights
and going to sleep.

Time comes when
you have to decide.

Either you hunt,
or you fuck around.

lt's not fair, Bernard.
- Probably not.

lt's really not,
and l'll tell you why.

Explain it to me.

Go on.
- No, no.

lt's not worth the effort.

Albert, if y'pass the Thursday
test, we'll know you're a man.

Stéphane-Albert.

What?

We're going to bed.
lt's pretty late.

We're getting up early... 4 a.m.

4:30.
- No, 4 o'clock.

4:30, dammit!
- Hey, come look!

Shit, someone get the camera!

Are you feeling sick, Philippe?
- No!

Oh no, his teeth even
fell out on the ground.

Even if l get pneumonia,
l had to see this!

And he shot the shit all day
about how he could drink!

Albert.

Get to bed!

We'll sleep, and hike
to the mountain tomorrow.

lf we can't get one,
we'll flush one out for the others.

You'll get your bow.

l'll get my gun
and we'll head out together, okay?

At least we know it's not my
cooking: he didn't eat supper.

And now he pukes!

Hey Boss!

How's it going, Boss?

Do l look sick to you?

Wait... wait...

''Do you want my body?''

Your face is as white
as your sweater.

Tell us about muskegs and swamps.

Come on, sit down.

One last time.

Daddy's not here to tell us
our bedtime story... Go on.

When l went out this morning,

it was important to me.

He still remembers, goddammit.

Because l took my cousin Bert.

Bert.
- Okay, okay, go to sleep.

Bert had never been out
in the muskeg.

He'd never been out in a marsh!

Well, even if l was the victim,
as we've been saying...

l still wanted to make a kill
just to...

Just to show us.
- That's right!

l'd have loved to get
a huge fucking moose...

just so l could say
''Look at this.''

''Look at those antlers.
And l'm not even a moose hunter.''

But most of the time,
you wore the antlers. Why?

You wouldn't join the wolves.

You chose not to join.

At some point
you refused to conform to...

to a law... that's unspoken,
but exists all the same.

What law? Bernard, you call
yourself an outlaw, an anarchist.

Now you tell me there're rules?
What law?

ls it just... understood,
ahead of time?

There are no laws. l don't
understand, l missed the boat.

l've talked for half an hour,
you haven't understood a thing.

As for your fucking poem,
blow it out your ass.

That's my friend.

Look, that's what happens
with everything l cook for you.

lt comes out your ass...

Bernard, you've betrayed me.

l never betrayed your
goddamn fucking nature.

l never betrayed your views
or what you gave me.

Christ, l was proud to have
written that for you!

And how do you accept it?

By rejecting it.
By covering it with your vomit!

You want me to just say,
''Forget it, Bernard?''

ls this your precious ''hunting?''

Every year l kill something.

You know, since l was five,
l've never killed anything.

l need to root around
in the guts of life.

You work with dead meat enough,
y'think, ''l could kill, too.''

And l've got a right
to see how it feels...

ending an animal's life.

Sooner or later,
we all cash in our chips.

Nature cashes them in
in the fall.

Christ, you don't even know
what guts are.

And shit, you tear the guts
out of things every day!

You rip open your... your rabbit,

you rip open your moose
and your bear.

What is a man, to you?
What is he, Bernard, goddammit!

ls this no more than a table?

Doesn't the art of the man
who made it count for anything?

What is it?
Just an object... made of wood?

Do you even know
what you've put me through tonight?

Sure l do.
- This is extremely painful for me!

And you, all week...
- What? All week l what?

What have l done all week?.

Nothing!
- What?

You did nothing.

What do you mean?
- You did nothing, Albert.

But l can't radically change
my ways overnight.

l can't go back
to my wife and kids and say...

l'll do all the dishes
and l'll try to share more.

You did teach me
that much, Bernard.

But let's face it.
l could never be...

lt's just not me to be
''up and at'em'' all the time.

Know what your problem was?

You never gave anyone else
the chance to find out...

to have their weaknesses
pointed out to them.

Because when a guy's a victim
and you all attack him,

do you go for his strengths?
No... his weaknesses.

Fine. What l'm saying is,
the other guy...

has a right to be a victim
and to see his weak points, too.

l never denied him that right.

But why wouldn't
you join with us?

You can see their weaknesses
as well as anyone, right?

Sure... They have a right
to be enriched by the hunt, too.

But did their enrichment
depend entirely on me?

l can only do things
in my own way, Bernard.

l never complain about you,
just the opposite.

l've always found you
a source of inspiration.

You're dragging me through the mud,
that's what you're doing.

Mud's all there is around here.

You're just...
- Eat shit!

Anyway...

What happens next, Bernard?

We go back to the truck.

You won't hold a grudge, l hope.
- Forever!