La belle histoire (1992) - full transcript

THE BEAUTIFUL STORY

to my parents...

You do right in being careful.

I wouldn't dare to predict the future
for a very simple reason.

When it comes to humanity
and related questions,

it is impossible to
predict the future.

Why? Because any prediction
would influence our actions.

In science it's different. You can
explain the behaviour of an electron.

The electron doesn't care
and just does it's job.

But once we realize something,
our mind begins to affect our future.

So the big question is,



if this influence is strong enough
to prevent the inevitable.

We ask ourselves if we are
optimists or pessimists.

As for me,
I'm definitely optimist.

As an optimist we can choose,

but for a pessimist,
everything is doomed to failure.

If we, however, decide to make a change
to prevent a disaster, rises...

the chance

that humanity can
continue on Earth,

for example another
thousand years.

Then we can say, "Well, we have
experienced a crisis, but it is over."

Some argue they believe
in the future of mankind.

It's dangerous to say this,
mainly because...

humans have never faced
similar problems before.

Some say humanity has always
solved their problems. That's wrong.



I believe the opposite:
we are unable to solve our problems.

Otherwise, why is there still war,
racism, and oppression in the world?

No doubt. If we look at the wars in
the last millennium of human history,

we see that no nation has
solved their problems.

There's no country on earth without
shameful chapters in it's history,

like oppression, racism
or fighting other peoples.

Compared with any kind of animal,
the human race is much worse

so we can say
with certainty:

humans are less adapted
to their environment.

We can't live in harmony
with the world around us,

which animals perfectly
cope with it.

I think it's now that humanity
must prove itself.

Because there might not be second
chance. It's now or never.

I think, Mr Hubert Reeves,
it's time to tell a beautiful story.

Yes, I agree, a beautiful story
always helps,

especially when it starts
with a song of Jacques Brel...

To accompany you on this journey:

G?rard Lanvin, B?atrice Dalle,

Vincent Lindon, Marie-Sophie L.,

Patrick Chesnais, Paul Pr?boist,

Charles G?rard, Amidou,

Isabelle Nanty, Pierre Vernier,

Jean Benguigui,
Jean-Claude Dreyfus,

Catherine Lachens, Fran?ois Perrot,

Constantin Alexandrov,
Jean-Michel Dupuis,

Jacques Gamblin, Max Fournel,

Arlette Emmery, Elie Chouraqui,

Marie Sara, Jorge,

Amina, Eug?ne Berthier,

Chico, Jo?lle Miquel,

Andr? Obadia,
Marie-Pierre de Gerando,

Nicolas Cuche, Jacques Bonnot,

Martine Lelouch,
Madame Taragona,

Pipo, Elisabeth Croze,

Andr? Tahon, Patrick Edlinger,

Francis Lai, Philippe Servain

and, finally, a big thank you

to G?rard Darmon and An?mone.

I was born
sixty-three years ago.

Like everybody, I was made from flesh,
skin, bones, some blood and enzymes.

Later, I began to have hairs, which
I had almost gone, and marigolds.

Gradually I began to develop a brain.

I learned to read, walk,
talk, swim...

Learned to listen and to hear,
I read a lot and was educated,

I studied religion, my teachers
taught me a lot.

Gradually developed that thing
that Christians call "soul",

and that reminds me of...
the flavour of violets.

That little thing which will
never disappear.

And when this thing in some years
gets out of it's bodily shell,

it will go to another baby.

Perhaps it will be a small hippo.
Or elephant.

A violet, or perhaps a new
human baby which will...

be called Marilyn Monroe.
Why not? Because I believe...

it is so that...

in this tiny little substance you
can find concentrated...

all memories of
my past lives.

In this life, I have met many people
who I don't understand why I meet,

I've had trouble, but I don't
understand why it happens to me.

But if I meet these people again
in another life, I get the explanation.

And it will never end.

So we can conclude that God exists.
He is not evil and not good.

I believe that all this will
lead to something significant,

to a finale, which is infinite.

Come on, Doga!

Come on, Doga, come on!

That's good, Doga!

Come on, Jesus!

Come on, Jesus! Come on!

Good, Jesus!

You're the best!

Come on, Jesus! Come on!

Come on!
Come on...

Come on, Jesus!

Come on, Jesus!

Come on, Jesus!

Come on, Jesus! Come on...

Yep!

How long has it been?

I was 7 and you were 5.

You weren't even on solids.

Come on, Jesus...

I did it to impress you.

And the worst thing is
I'm dumb enough to try it again.

Come on, Jesus.

For twenty-five years
Jesus is in love with Marie-Sarah.

He was called Jesus, because he was
born December 25th, 3 months too early.

His mother, a pure-bred gypsy
called it the first miracle.

At seven, his was nearly trampled by
bulls and he spent 13 days in hospital.

His mother called his healing
the second miracle.

Today, in 1979...

At the request of Marie-Sarah's father,
who was breeding bulls in Nimes,

Jesus gives her riding lessons,
but he's not good with the lasso.

And this is the third miracle
that happened to Jesus.

Jesus grew up among women
without trouble.

His mother and his three sisters
replaced the absent father.

His mother was very amorous
and her four children...

were from four different men.

But back to Marie-Sarah,

who is about to become the most
famous female bullfighter of the '80s.

Slowly. That's it!

Come on!

Turn around!

Turn around! Face to the bull!

- Face it!
- Like this?

Face it!

More?

Come on! That's it.

Get in line, Marie! Get in line!
Face it!

I'll bring him over!

That's good, Marie!

Hold your hand out!

That one's good, right?

Breathe in!

Nice and graceful.

Your horse, Marie!

Think of the horse, Marie.
Get in line!

It's hard before it gets easy!
Remember that!

It'll never be easy!

Go on!

Go on, laugh.

Why do bullfighters cross themselves?

They pray to the Virgin before...

before they use the banderillas,
they think:

"Maybe the bull's a relative I'll hurt."
You see them...

They jump back
to pluck up courage for the kill.

If the bull put up a good fight,
they cut his ear off.

You can spot people
who used to be bulls.

I've seen so many do this...

...and complain of back ache.
They remember.

Then I understood,

on seeing the animals arrive
in the arena...

I'd wonder to myself what the bull
would turn out like as a man.

Some would be really tough later on

once they learned
how to dodge the banderillas.

Stop! Babette, go!

- Get out!
- Come here, Babette!

Hands off my sisters,
especially Babette!

- She's a customer.
- So you sleep with her?

- She's over 18.
- Even at 60, l?ll stop her coming.

- It?s a free country.
- What you deal in isn't!

- I love your sister.
- And she loves the shit you deal!

I never pissed you off
about your bullfighter.

What's it to do with her?

From now on, I have a word to say
about the bullrings. Okay?

Keep away from Babette!

Let's go!

- Cut it out!
- Mind your own fucking business!

Stop pissing us off!

You're not my father!

Keep still.

Do you realize I love you?

Maybe I should have been born a horse.

By the way,
l?ve arranged a pay-raise for you.

I never asked...

I thought you'd be pleased.

The money doesn't matter.

Marie...

l?ve something serious to say.

For you or for me?

For both of us, I hope.

Hi...

Can we see your house?

My house? Why?

Don't worry, we're not renting.

What have you done now?

God knows. We'll soon find out.

You've no idea?

Stuck here 24 hours a day,
what could I have done?

Yeah? What does that mean?

It?s serious, really serious.

It?s not serious.

You found that in my van?

Original...
I guess you see a lot of movies.

How's Doga doing?

I follow you, I guess.

You'd better.

See you later.

They're here.

I haven't finished.

She's on her way.

Is she a nun?

Wait and see...

Right... This is Bruno.

Zouzou...

- Nanar...
- Delighted.

And the famous Mickey... Odona.

Odo... What?

- What's it mean?
- What's Mickey mean?

Do you always fix dates in churches?

Jesus is the only guy
who never let me down.

Maybe l?ll be the second.

Right, guys, where to?

What does Miss Odona say?

She says Lisieux.

Why Lisieux?

Lourdes is too far for the day.

We'll do a lot of praying together.

St. Th?r?se, here we come!

Come on! Dammit! Shit!

Hey, Zaza... Not so loud!

What do you expect from a guy?

Too much, I guess.
Not tears anyway.

You're right.

You weren't too hot
when the cops stopped us earlier.

We could still be there.

True, and maybe l?d still want you.

- Fran?ois, did you open?
- I locked up last night.

You were pretty far gone!

Morning.

What are you doing here?

Model prisoners
get their sentence reduced.

And as I wanted to see you...

Right, get out or l?ll call the police.

Old habits die hard, I guess.

I owe you nothing.

Sure you don't.

A woman, a job,
a reputation... Nothing.

In any case,
that bullfighter wasn't for you.

- Yep...
- l?ll do you a coffee.

I was up before you.

What do you suggest?

Tell the cops
you planted that shit in my car.

Are you kidding?

You don't kid anyone after prison.

We were good friends...

close friends.

"A former friend was never a friend

"My broken heart will never mend

"An accusation means a lie

"l?ll never forgive
the one who made me cry"

You read a lot inside.

People call you Jesus too much.

I call you a fucker.

A real motherfucker.

STEVE McQUEEN DIES
MITTERRAND TO RUN

How's your mother?

She's in Spain with her new fianc?.

Her life could fill a book.

Know anyone whose life couldn't?

She's the only woman I know

who had four kids
with four different men.

I'm amazed you had three kids
with the same woman.

You don't know my wife.

Until he divorces, no man does.

Hi, Jesus!

How's your mom?

Fine, l?m seeing her in Spain.

- When did you get out?
- This morning.

Your bullfighter married Simon.

What would barbers do without gossip?

Heard from my sisters?

They were doing the beaches.

The beaches?

You'll probably see them
at the bullring tomorrow.

THANK YOU, MR. TRICOT

Sit down.

Well, as I don't want to cry
in front of you,

l?ll open it at home tonight.

Thank you anyway.

The important thing for me today,

for my last class,

if you agree, l?d like to film

your heartfelt beliefs...

My last class in this life, I mean.
I?m off for a little overhaul.

We'll meet in another life
and l?ll ask you more questions.

When we talk about the '80s,
l?ll know what to say.

That's why if you suffer, so do I.
If l?m in pain, so are you.

A plant, everything lives,
suffers and loves. How can I put it?

That's my heartfelt belief.

That's mine
and I want to know what you,

today, what you believe
in your heart of hearts.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah...

When did you get out?

Yesterday morning.

Why didn't you tell us?

I had to find you.

Whose baby is that?

That's Sabaya's baby.

What do you mean?

Who's the father?

The accordion player.

Who are they?

We met them today.

As soon as my back's turned,
you get a baby.

He's fair.

Like golden wheat.

Hey, musician.

You've given my sister a kid.

- Yeah. So?
- Play it straight.

Maybe a mosquito.

Filthy thing!

Oh God, I killed a relative!

I?m not talking rubbish.

I said we were as one,
one single thing.

It?s terrible and wonderful.
It?s a fairy tale.

It?s a fairy tale
even when it's terrible,

even when you think, when you say:

"There's no God,
life is horrible..."

Well... it's a fairy tale.

I?d say nothing ends,
everything goes on well,

and is even getting better.

It?s me!

I invited Mr. Tricot to dinner.

His last lesson was just brilliant!

His stories are amazing,
he's a gold mine for us.

Be nice to your father.
Your mother isn't too good.

He's back from the hospital?

He's in the other room.

I?ll go to him.

Wasn't Mr. Tricot supposed to retire?

He retired today.
It was so upsetting. We all cried.

Hello... How's Mom?

Not too good.

I?ll call the hospital.

Don't bother.

They're bringing her home tonight.

But she was better...

She was...

Well, Marie...

What rubbish did Mr. Tricot
tell you today?

That death
has more imagination than life.

Just think, Uncle, he said

death has more imagination than life.

He said that, Alex?
What a silly thing to say.

Death can't have more imagination

than life, can it?

Marie, you're going to
have to be very brave.

There are difficult days ahead.

This where you grew up?

Babette and I grew up here.

Like it?

Yes. You want to sleep with me?

Have you known them long?

- This afternoon at the ring.
- That's right.

Mercedes, in our family
we need time to get acquainted.

Come on.

A gipsy legend says
you need 39 lives to love someone,

twenty-six to understand them,
and one to betray them.

Know what scares me most?

Seeing your father in the next life...

Your eyes are so bright...

It?s because l?ll soon be a baby again.

Teach him how to eat.

Come on, let's eat.

Like cycling?

I never thought about it. Why?

When I went to Spain
to see Mom's fianc?,

I found a photo of a racing cyclist.

So what?

On the back of it,
she wrote the year of your birth.

What is all this?

I searched through Mom's things and...

Was there a number or name
on his shirt?

It said: "Ripolin".

Ripolin...

Was Mom in the photo too?

Yes.

And she was smiling a lot.

What's her new guy like?

It?s a surprise.

Sorry, officer.
We were going too fast but we're late.

We're really sorry.

- Engine off.
- You're bikers too!

Get off the vehicle
and show me the papers.

You want the papers?

It?s not just speeding.

Where did I put them?

It?s a beauty, huh?

Damn, I can't find them!

Stolen vehicle.

Stolen? The guy who lent us it
never said. The asshole!

Isabelle, it's stolen. No shit!

And the papers?

He gave them to me. I?m looking.
Where the hell did I put them?

I left them at home.
Have you got them?

I?ve got no papers, l?ve got the keys.

The keys!

Sorry, they're at home.

It?s not our fault, we didn't steal it.

We've got a pal in hospital...
It?s important.

We've got to go.

This bike's stolen.

We didn't steal it.

And our pal's really sick, you know.

That's more important.

You're receivers.

And receivers rhymes with stealers.

What do we do then?

I need to see your papers,
your personal ID, I mean.

I forgot everything.
I never do usually.

I forgot. It?s dumb, huh?

It?s dumb alright. Call a car.

Oh no, not H.Q. Be nice to us.
It?s not important.

Oh no, please.

What would you do?

Honestly, if you'd got a sick pal,
l?d let you go.

Find another solution.

I don't know...
What do you fancy?

- Are you serious?
- You bet.

If it makes you happy, l?m happy too.

She found the papers, come here!

- Your friend too?
- Same thing.

No problem.

Well... not in the middle of the road.

Let's ride over to the wood.

- The wood?
- Just over there.

Still want to?

Sure... but it's all so sudden.

Let's go, we're in a hurry.

- And your friend?
- No problem.

Gently does it, Zaza.

The keys!

The bitches!

The fucking keys!

Call a car!

You're incompetent! Incompetent!

You're incompetent.

- It?s not my fault.
- Incompetent!

Marie...

Marie...

You're there, Marie.
What a nice surprise!

You're 3 years old today.

Only 3! I?d love to be 3 again!

What story do you want to hear
for your third birthday?

"The Bees of Israel."

"The Bees of Israel..."

But I told you "The Bees of Israel"
for your second birthday.

And I told you "The Bees of Israel"
for your first birthday.

"The Bees of Israel."

Alright, the story of
"The Bees of Israel."

He promised this life of misery

would be the last they'd know.

The bees, happy to hear this,

swarmed to Jesus
to savor the nectar of his kindness.

They promised

that whoever tasted their honey

would be protected
for all eternity, Marie.

O Mary. If your mother had
become a bee, she'd be back soon.

A bee's life is short.

Just a couple of days.

Sad.

Yes. But life isn't and
shouldn't be fun.

You know,
my mother was never happy.

Really?

How do you you know?

Dad had affairs all the time.

Maybe someone else
cared about her?

Hard to believe. But I'd be
happy if it was like this.

Happy? But why not?

Yes, I'd be really glad.

I think I know that there was
someone in her life.

Really?

- Yes, really.
- Who is it?

You could guess.

May I guess?

Yes.

- I know him?
- Yes.

I do know him?

It's me.

Well, as you say it...

But you're right, sometimes she
seemed happy. It can't be!

Yes, yes,
she was happy, of course.

I used to be young
and cute.

This is incredible!

Uncle!

What you like,
"Chanel" or "Saint-Laurent"?

Go there! Go there!

To "Saint Laurent"?

Let's go!

What do we need?
Body cream?

No, too heavy smell.
We took the last time.

A bar of soap for the grandmother.

Hello!

Can I try Catherine Deneuve's perfume?

I?d like a red.
Really red, but not too glossy.

Vermillion red, number 23.

Not fuchsia.
The varnish has to go with my lipstick.

Look, this is Rykiel red,
Night and Day.

It?s really vermillion.

And when he's not fishing?

He's very kind to me.

Sure, a new broom
always sweeps clean, right?

What's the guy's name?

Pipo.

Pipo! What a name!

You're an amazing woman!

So Pipo fishes with flamenco
instead of maggots?

Stop it. Here in Andalusia,
even the fish love flamenco.

Little sister's dancing better.

You should see her girls.

What are they like?

You'll see later.
The tourists love them.

And their damn father?

No sign of him.

Hey, Myriam! It?s me!

Jesus!

A few hairs and you don't know me!

Come with me, please.

No way! You'll search us here.
Get the cops if you want

but you'll search us here
and then apologize properly!

Please remove that blanket...

You want me to do it?
Show me what's underneath.

Hands off, okay!

That's clever! And you think
breasts like that are normal?

What's wrong with my breasts?

May I, miss?

- Go on, feel!
- Nothing's hidden there.

Open your coat, please.

What about your belly!

I didn't swallow it!

Open your bag, please.
I don't believe this.

Calm down, we'll try to...

I want an apology now. Apologize.

You've got accomplices.
I?ll find them.

Search the store,
find my accomplices!

Well, in 1949, the whole family

moved to a small village
on the Tour de France circuit.

The Tour de France?

Very nice, and so?

Well, that day,
for your good luck or bad,

a cyclist gave up in front of me.

Gave up! In front of you?

In front of me.

Just in front of me.

So I gave him some water...

And he gave me...
a very nice smile.

And you smiled back!

Yep, and now here I am.

I?d have done the same.

The kids are doing well.

Just look at them!

Myriam taught them mostly,
with some help from me.

We can count on you
to add your grain of salt.

Tell me more about the cyclist.

I don't know him, I never saw him.
I just gave him water.

Okay, but l?m here
so it wasn't just water, right?

That's true, it wasn't just water.

You think it's funny...

Haven't I cried enough?

You never tried to find out
where he was from, who he was?

He just got back on his bike
and I never saw him again.

Hey, he's a hard-hearted one!

Come more often,
I make progress with you.

I?m wondering about the third.
We all are...

I could do a bull's-eye,
call it an accident...

These things happen.

I?ll give you one last word of advice.

The last one, then it's over.

An eye or you talk.

I wouldn't hesitate.

Well, go on then, choose.
It?s up to you.

Two eyes, two bits of information.

Yes, hello, sir.

No, I sent you the letter to thank you

for backing me
for the Financial Brigade.

Figures fascinate me...

And letters too!

Very good, sir,
and a Merry Christmas to you too.

I?ll tell him. Goodbye, sir.

The boss sends his best.

The darts thing is ace.

It?ll work with that damn Bobby,
it'll work.

Trouble is, he's cross-eyed.
I might miss.

Anyone to question two chicks?

- Beautiful ones?
- Beautiful.

I?ll deal with it. Come on.

Let's go.

Shit, they're beautiful.
Play it classy.

Ready?

Not too pushy.

Hello, ladies.

What's that?

Their accessory.

Can I sit down?

I can...

Me too?

Have you been
travelling long by wheelchair?

Since gas prices went up.

- Sorry?
- Since gas prices went up.

I think we should
start this interrogation...

nicely.

Its Christmas, l?m in a good mood,
l?m smiling.

- So is he.
- So am I.

That's easy for you to say.

At Christmas,

we can pardon completely.

Totally.

Completely, totally, same thing.

As long as we get lots of details
and a spontaneous confession.

We stole a watch.

Where did you steal it?

Cartier.

- Not in Paris?
- It?s a jeweler.

Of course it's in Paris!

Which Cartier was it at?

Cartier, Montaigne.

They're rich enough anyway.

Who do you think you are?

- Who am I?
- Yeah.

I?m a cop and a cop asks questions
when he wants.

Especially here.

Today I can be Santa Claus.

We don't believe in him.

In that case, the usual:
Name, surname and address.

No fixed abode.

So how do we ask you to dinner?

Do I know you?
Haven't we met?

I don't know any cops.

Your first arrest?

No.

Did I arrest you?

Where was it last time?

In a church in Belgium.

You collect religious art?

Yeah, especially baby Jesuses.

You don't look like a nun.

- Appearances mislead.
- I only trust appearances.

Well, you look like a cop alright.

Can't you see we want to be nice?

Open the door then.

Can we have dinner?

You're kidding!

STRONGER THAN STEEL
DIDIER LOUIS

Zutemelk, Zutemelk, who was second
at the Tour de France, came in third.

Can you imagine?

Incredible.

Remember his name?

What's his name? Zu-te-melk.
This is for you for some flowers.

And now you're silent?

- Do you still have rabbits?
- Yes.

I had dinner with some pals

who did the Tour with me 40 years ago.

What did they serve up?

Rabbit!

What do you want
after the rabbit?

Jesus! Here! Santa Claus!

Chico!

Chico! Fucking hell! Chico!

So you're Santa?

Yep, l?m Santa this year.

Pretty snazzy.

And you?

Looking for work.

Didn't you come to Paris
for an album?

We're in Paris, but no album.

I?m so glad to see you, dammit!

Chico!

Are you okay?

Yeah, but...

I saw my dad
for the first time today...

What's he like?

As much of a cyclist
as you're a Santa.

- Drink?
- You bet!

My first drink with Santa.

Me too.

- It?ll bring us luck.
- Come on.

Do you often hitch-hike?

Well, each time we need some cash.

What do you mean?

When we need pocket money.

Hold on. Sorry? I...

Usually guys pick us up to screw us.

So we get out a gun or a knife,
dump them and steal the car.

Do you need dough today?

It?s the first time
we've come across twins.

We're a bit thrown.

Enough joking!

C'mon, out!

Out!

Back up, you!

Freeze!

Move it!

Stay there!

No blabbing to the cops
or we'll find you.

What happened?

Two bitches robbed us!

How much is there?

Twice as much as usual.

From now on,
we only work twins then!

They keep saying not to pick people up.

In fact, l?m crazy
to have stopped for you. Get out!

What?

Get out! Police. I?m serious!

Get out!

Twin assholes!

"It's our car! It?s our car..."

Maybe but l?ve lost it.

It?s me. I lost her.

Shit! Two guys picked them up.

I ended up with the two guys
and lost her somewhere.

It?s weird, I know this chick.
I know her.

I?m 100% sure of it.

New hair, new make-up
and that's it,

no one recognizes you.

Why didn't I arrest her?

Because I never had this much fun
following someone!

You feel like helping some people.
Does that suit you?

Haven't you ever felt like that?

C'mon, clear off
and don't come back!

That fucker was in my van!

I?m no whore! I?m no whore!

You piss me off, l?ve had it.
You're shit in bed!

You can go fuck yourself!
Go on, fuck off!

Cunt! Bitch!
Fuck off, Martine!

Or else you'll be in for it!
I?ll fucking get you!

What do you want?

- I want Mr. Bonnot.
- I?m Mr. Bonnot.

Chico sent me.

Come with me.

- He said you had a job free.
- Yes, I need a biking ace.

Horses are more my scene.

Ah, we've only got wooden ones.
Let's talk anyway.

Fuck, we'll all end up gay.

How much?

It?s a gift.

It's so moving.

You're skeptical.

It?s hard to believe
animal lives are periods of rest.

But yes.
They do nothing.

They eat, drink, sleep, reproduce...

Like us when we're on vacation.

It?s an opportunity to think
about life and stock up on ideas.

I don't know...

Shall I wrap your mother?

- Thank you so much.
- My pleasure, miss.

Tell me, trees and flowers.

Where do they stand?

I was rocked by fairy tales,
my parents made puppets

and so I was brought up
by puppet stories.

Look Kraki,
even if it's not as old as that,

we'll make a killing
with a piece like this!

No, the first Christ
date from the 10th or 11th century.

This one is from Christ's day.

It?s hard to believe.
I?m not convinced.

But Pierre says so
and the market listens to him.

When's he going to speak?
As usual, when he's sure.

$1.5 million.

Dollars, yes.

There'll be a fight.
If Pierre says it's genuine,

every museum in the world
will want it.

We'll have the lab results
around 7:00 p.m. Will you call back?

Alright, Kraki. Goodbye.

Why the hard-sell on Kraki?

We may sell the world's top forgery
and l?d rather a bastard buy it.

This should be in a major museum.
I?ll do everything possible for that.

- That's your belief?
- Yes, and the evidence is slight.

Come here.

See that? What is it?

The irreparable damage of time.

It?s a bee.

Why a bee just there?

Who knows? He liked honey so...

That's funny. But not that dumb.

We'll have two bikes,
then three...

For the finale, they'll cross paths
three times in a row!

All for 10 francs!

Lovers of spectacle and sports,
get your tickets here!

We live life to the full!

Let's hear it!

Is it working?
I can't hear a thing!

It should work, it's hooked up.

I can't hear him.
Is that you, Jesus?

I can hear him. Speak louder,
Pipo hooked this up!

Give him my love.

Jean-Luc Limousin
on his wheels from hell!

He risks his life on each lap!

Let's give him a big hand!

I read your sister's hand.
You're going to meet a woman.

You saw that in Myriam's hand?

Her hand or yours, no difference!

You've never read hands that well.

Hurry, cars are coming.

Calm down a bit!

I?ll end up in prison, not you.
I?m the one up here.

If you borrow,
remember to pay back.

If I borrow,
l?ll remember to pay back.

Follow the river and reach the sea.
This is the sea.

Right, left, ahead, behind,
Paris is the sea!

Yes, Paris!

We'll bite it, devour it!

Close your eyes.
Keep them closed.

Fire.

Death. That's interesting...
Death next to Love.

Love passes via death,
not your death...

Paris, we're here, don't worry!

The big wheel, big thrills.
Let's go!

C'mon all you Parisians,
big wheel, big thrills!

Come in.

You sent for me?

Yes, no more swimming in my pool.

Sorry?

No more swimming in my pool!

What pool?

Martine, my wife, is my pool!

You're mistaken.
I don't do things like that.

I?m a dumb asshole, huh?

No, but I can't help it
if your wife's eyes undress men.

You're calling her a whore?

Mr. Bennet, you've hurt me all day,
now I pity you.

- Is that all?
- That's all.

We're now going to sell lot 13,

this wonderful Christ,
which recently hit the headlines

and which was discovered
in the conditions you know of.

Is it real or a fake?
That's for you to decide.

To help you, our expert,
Mr. Pierre Lhermitte,

has provided the latest X-rays

which you have examined

and on which he has based
his heartfelt belief.

This Christ apparently dates
from the first century.

With this in mind,
bidding opens at 5 million francs.

5 million!

I knew the price was reasonable.
6 million!

7 million.

- 8 million.
- 500!

8.5 million! 9...

10... 11...

I didn't see you behind the gentleman.

12...

13 million.

Thirteen isn't a lucky figure,
let's hope that tonight...

13 million...

18 million in New York,
a good day for Jesus!

19 million.

20... 21...

21 in Paris. 23...

24...

25... 26...

Here come the Japanese!

Things are going to start
heat up now.

26... 30...

30 million!

32...

Paris?

35 million...

40 million in Japan.

Come on, France!
40 million in Japan. Please...

40... 41...

42...

43... Thank you.

43... 44...

45... 45 million.

47 million in Tokyo.

Let's keep it in France...

48 million...

48 million.
Not your bid, ma'am.

49 million...

49 million, sir.

52... Smile, sir,
that's all the lady wants.

52... We can't let
this Christ go to Tokyo.

Christ wasn't Japanese.

52 million...

52 million, l?ll have to...

52, once...

52, twice...

I can't. Sir, make an effort
to keep this Christ in France.

Come on, France! Make an effort!
We can't let this Christ go!

55 million, no, 54, sorry...

54.5 and it's yours, sir.

Ma'am, smile at him, please.
Smile at him.

54 million. Well, I have to do it.
54 once...

54 twice...

I can't believe it.
54 twice.

Go ahead, sir, kiss her hand.

That's not enough, sir,
you have to say 55.

This Christ, the first Christian
is going to leave

for the land of the rising sun.

Sold. Thank you.

Twenty years!
I?ve had enough, I tell you!

Screw your wheel!

You're glad enough
to get the cash from my big wheel!

For Christ's sake!
You get everything I make!

Cut the crap, Martine, okay?

Just tell me the truth.
Where were you?

At my mother's.

Goddammit! I said cut the crap!

You piss me off, Martine.
I?m so fucking sick of you!

What the hell is this? Cut it out!

Where were you?

Up there,
floating above all the assholes!

- It?s not a hotel!
- I stop anyone stealing it!

What's up? Tell me!

The big wheel, the wall of death,
and her too... l?m selling the lot!

Sell it, and I won't have to
see your ugly mug!

Okay, okay...

- It?s not okay!
- She's screwing around!

Screwing around? Prove it!

She's the proof.
Look how she's dressed!

You love her like that!

I love her in long dresses!

A long dress? For fuck's sake!

Go away...

You're the fairground Gloria Swanson!

Just look at you,
you're made to be cheated on!

- What a morning...
- l?ll kill you some day, Martine!

Why? He's pissed off
'cause you look good.

I like him! I do!

Make the most of it!

I fancy him, not you!

Hello, children.

Hello, flower lady.

My secret is that bees
never sting good children.

Bees do sting sometimes...

No! Not good boys and girls.

Really? Let's see.

Has anyone been good enough
to kiss the bee?

Now we'll see if it stings.

Salom?, do you want to kiss it?

Come on, Salom?.

No, l?m scared.

If you're scared, that means you're
naughty. Have you been good?

Kiss the bee then.

I?m too scared.

You're a good girl.
It won't sting, I promise.

You can kiss it. She promised.

Well done, Salom?!

Any other good children?

Come on, hurry...
Morgane and Julie... Come on.

Well done!

Come on, Morgane, kiss the bee!

You too? Alma, do you want to?

And you, Julia?

You know that means good luck?

Thank you, Mrs. Bee,
for being nice to the children.

Have you been good too?

Wait a minute, we'll see.

Does it tickle, miss?

How far is it going to go?

Now, if you listen hard,
the honey and hives are buzzing

with this unbelievably strong love

which is still alive after 2,000 years.

When you eat that honey now,

you feel the same
amazing sensation as Jesus,

the wonderful feeling
of happiness and fulfillment.

What you'll do best
won't be what you learn at school,

especially what you learn here,

but what you learned long ago.

It takes centuries
to know a thing and how to do it.

Love is always the result of a journey
and an experience.

For instance, I had my love for bees
way before I started studying them.

I felt I knew them
and I was related to them.

It?s the same with people.

When you meet someone
and feel good with him or her,

you know them already.

Once, in the mountains, I was on a face

and I knew how to climb it.

For some reason, I felt I already
knew the mountain from somewhere.

Our best deeds are the result
of our subconscious.

It?s the memory without memory
that inspires our greatest acts,

the memory of nothing

which knows everything about us.

How can we find
the memory I mentioned?

By not being scared to question it.

Just as the Earth needs space,
we need our dreams.

They're our eternity.

No dream is innocent.

Don't be scared to remember them,
to use them, above all use them.

Don't be afraid
because nightmares always end

with beautiful stories.

Can we shoot a round?

Its closed, sir.

Well, open up, my man!

I can't do that.
I just change the bulbs.

Do you know who I am?

No, but l?d like to.

The Count de Gerando,
lord of the manor and mayor.

Five hits and the Count gets a teddy!

Careful or l?ll close you down.

Go ahead, I just work here.

That's the rules.
Five hits and you get a teddy.

The rules are this is my land.

As you want it,
but five hits gets you a teddy.

Too bad! No teddy!

You asked to see me, sir?

Yes, Marie, come in...

Sit down.

I sent for you
because l?ve had a lot of letters

from parents concerning you.

Too many letters.

And they aren't writing
to congratulate you.

They complain about your methods.

If you're selling, l?ll buy.

Selling what?

You keep going on
about selling the whole lot.

So l?m buying.

You won the lottery?

You could say that...

I need to know
where the money's from.

Let's just say it's a miracle.

That's normal if your name's Jesus.

Is the cash clean?

It soon will be.

Monsieur Maillot said it all time.

Monsieur Maillot taught history.

In this case, Monsieur Maillot
talked about an experiment

with blowflies in a matchbox.
This is not...

Watching the flies one can
understand human behavior.

But not historical events
like the Napoleonic Wars.

I don't understand what the flies
should help there.

Take another letter.

"Mr. Director, I'm concerned
over the fact...

that our children are taught
not to trust their parents..."

- It's not true! - But parents
often spoil their children.

- But...
- The child itself knows...

what it will benefit from.
And the parents are trying to drown

that inner voice in the child,
that tells them the truth.

Children know what they need.

To go to school for example.
Or not to go...

Then why go to school at all?

When they can decide alone, they'll
go to school because they want it.

Otherwise, it's better
they don't go.

Then they choose to not go to school.
That's honest.

Isn't that important learning?

Basically only few people
know what they need.

Well, you can't force this.

And here's a letter
from Mme Lopper,

"Our daughter Salome refuses
to eat almost fanatically

that is obviously inspired
from school teachings."

That's not true. Look! Monsieur Maillot
observed animals and concluded...

that any animal that falls ill,
stops eating.

An ill animal stops eating because
it knows their body needs to rest.

Do you think that bees
do nothing but rest?

And ants, too? Have you
read Maeterlinck, von Frisch?

I read them. But insects are so close
to God, that their work doesn't count.

You can say they work for God
as death doesn't scare them.

In three weeks, they know they'll die
in ecstasy in a flower.

It?s like ecstasy.
A bee's whole life is ecstasy.

It?s an endless sacrifice.

You could say it's suicide but it's not.
Death doesn't scare them!

And this business of bees swarming
over Christ on the cross.

Where's that from?

Bees gathered the nectar of Christ
2,000 years ago just like a flower.

They gathered His nectar,
His purest essence,

the transmissible
and in transmissible.

It?s just a story. It?s not fact.

We can tell beautiful stories like that.

It?s a story I tell children.

You know children
take everything at face value.

That's their strength.

That's true, until the time comes

when they learn
Santa Claus doesn't exist.

I want them to believe in him,
l?m sure he exists.

If I tell the pupils' parents

that Marie is staying
to teach about Santa Claus,

what will they say?

I think it's Christmas every day.

We don't see the gifts
every minute brings.

It?s a fairy tale.
We can't see life's a fairy tale.

Centuries ago,
you'd have been burned as a witch

for teaching...

I was burned in the Middle Ages!

You were young then.

I was burned then
so let me speak now.

School is a place where children

have to learn
following a planned program

which can't be disturbed
by dizzy people like you.

So l?m dizzy now?

I?m afraid we'll have to
dispense with your services.

You know I respect you greatly

and this won't change
my opinion of you.

I?ll give you the references
you may require

to find employment
in a private school

where your theories
may be accepted

more readily than here.

I?m afraid I have to do this,
even though I don't like to.

There's nothing more to say?

I no longer teach at this school?

I?m afraid that's the case.

You're giving in to parents

who don't understand
what l?m teaching the children.

I?m not giving in.
I have to consider...

I know you agree
with Mr. Tricot and me.

I won't profess my personal beliefs...

But the important thing
is to say what we believe.

I won't teach history or geography

when it's more important
to learn to eat, to listen,

to know who they are,
to see what's best in them,

to figure out what they want to do
or don't want to do,

the reasons why they hate school...

Mary, what has our "animal" origin
to with our presence and future.

Your present life
is the result of

what you have learned in all
your earlier lives for millennia.

Why is that?

Where does all our knowledge come
from? From only one lifetime?

Do you think that we are coming
on the ground for a single life?

Can I help you?

Yes, please.

What kind of bike do you want?

I don't want a kind of bike
but a kind of father.

Our bikes are made to measure.

How much is this one?

13,000.

Pretty high price, Dad.

On a bike like that,
hills are plain sailing.

- And this one?
- 4,950.

That's better, Dad.

You need to learn to ride again
with that one.

This one's your racing one?

That's right. I raced on it,
before you were born.

You're right there.

Didier, phone!

Just a second.

Watch that guy, he's weird.
He calls me dad.

Yes... You got it all?
I?ll call you back.

I said that one's not for sale!

It?s my favorite.

Why do you call me Dad?

In '49,

between Le Puy and Millau,
you gave up.

A pretty gypsy girl gave you water.

You gave her a son.

What's your name?

Jesus Taragona.

Where am I? I?ve no idea.

She's getting married
and l?m pissed off.

How much?

20,000 but it's a lot nicer.

It?s lovely. It really suits you.

- Your first marriage?
- No, not really.

Come and look in the mirror.
Look how it suits you.

It?s not the first then?

I must have done it in a past life.

Can you remember it?

Sometimes, on good days.

If your fianc? doesn't mind...
Lovely dress...

You can say that again!

Have you known him long?

We shared a dream 2,000 years ago.

How old is he?

He's 33.

Do you have a photo?
I love photos of lovers.

Here, this is him.

That's Jesus.

Of Nazareth, himself.

If he wants me that is.

What?

She's cleaning Paris out, okay?

I?m not likely to arrest her
except in church!

Can I ask one last favor?

We want to arrive at church
on motorbikes.

Can I just sit on my friend's bike
to see what it's like?

Of course you can.

A black bike with that white...

It will be just perfect...

I took the best.

It?s a nice one.

I hope she won't be in trouble,
she was nice.

I think the cops are on to us.

- Where?
- Behind.

Is he still there?

You bet he is, the fucker.

- Do we know him?
- We know so many of them!

Isabelle! The truck!

Shit! Here, quick!

Oh, fuck!
I don't fucking believe it!

It?s not my fucking day.

Why was I on the sidewalk?

Hello! This is Simon Choulel.

Crash, Place Dauphine.
Send two ambulances!

Place Dauphine!
Where the hookers are!

Stop the traffic!

Is there a doctor here?
A doctor?

A doctor!

Don't touch.

If there's no doctor,
nobody touches them or gets near!

How long ago?
Hurry, l?m alone!

Hurry.

Isn't there a doctor? Nobody?

There, stand aside! Do me a favor.

If there's nothing you can do,
go away!

There's nothing to see!

Who's the owner of the truck?

Please help, l?m alone. Stand back!

Help me! Stop the traffic!
Do something!

Miss, can you hear me?
Can you hear me?

Can you hear me?

Miss, can you hear me?

I?m sorry.

Stand back!
You, stop the traffic! Hurry!

You, stop it here.

Someone keep an eye on them!

Give me your coats! Coats!

Cover her up!

You stay there!

Stand aside! Stop the traffic!

Someone here!

How long ago?

Hurry, l?m alone! Alone!

Help's on its way!

There, gently does it...

Be careful...

Gently...

l?m here, l?m coming with you.

I?m going with her!

Come with me.

They can take both of us!

- She'll be in intensive care.
- I?m going! She's my friend!

She's injured. I can't...

Don't touch me!

I can't let you go with her.
I can't.

If I wanted to, I couldn't.

I?m a policeman, I can't. Come on!

Shut the doors! Help me!

Come on! Just calm down!

Wasting time here won't help her!

I won't!

Come on! Come on, hurry!

They've got to get her to hospital!

Well?

She's in a coma,
her spine is damaged.

Shit! Fucking shit!

The salesgirl got the number.
We can't let her go.

Come on.

- Want me to stay?
- Yes, come on.

- Well?
- She's unconscious.

- Is she alive?
- Yes, but unconscious.

I?ll go to her.

You can't do that.
She's unconscious.

I want to see her!

She's in a deep coma.
You can't go now.

- I want to go!
- You can't.

Why not? You fucker,
you told me I could!

He didn't know then
that the woman got your number.

I?ll say you wanted to screw me!

Calm down!

Can you go outside?
Take them out.

Thank you. Now sit down...

There. Get out. Thanks...

Can't you see I want to help?

Understand? We've had
a hideous misunderstanding.

Is your place Ali Baba's cave?

Why did you chase us?

I wasn't. You raced off.
I wanted to tell you it was okay!

I won't go to prison alone!
You can't play with people's lives!

I don't play with people's lives!

Keep it down!

I?m not playing with lives!
I?ve let you run free for two years!

You stink of death!
If Isabelle?s hurt, l?ll kill you!

Okay, I stink of death.
I?m in love with you. Is that wrong?

And your love kills?

- I?m a cop!
- Cut it out!

- I?m a cop!
- Change jobs!

Really discreet!

Everybody knows now!

Is there anyone you can call?

The only one is dying!

And your fianc??

The dress is for a friend!

Now get me out of here!
You've fucked us over!

Do you realize what you've done?
Do you?

Calm down!

No, I won't!

Calm down, dammit!
Will you calm down?

Let go of her!

Calm down, just calm down, okay!

I want to marry you too!

Marry you?
Who the hell do you think I am?

Just look at yourself! Asshole!

Calm down.

After all this?

Do you understand that
you're a dying man?

Bastard!

- Are you crazy!
- Yes, I'm crazy!

I call the police.

- I need to talk to you.
- Don't touch.

I can't see you. You stink.

I covered you for two years! I wanted
to help you. And that's the result.

I don't need a lawyer!

- If this is love, then I...
- Give me a couple of minutes.

What a madhouse!

Leave her. She's not
going anywhere.

Can we calm down?
Can't we talk about it?

Look at this, Parisians.
Ferris' wheel, what a thrill!

First round, to get to know,
second, to fall in love,

and the third is
to start all over again.

Come here, come!

From the top of our wheel you'll see
Paris as you haven't ever before.

Hold your breath. We'll take you
to heaven for only 10 francs.

Only ten francs for a love affair
without broken hearts.

Grip your chance. Thank you.
Here we go!

"And since the immense progress
of happiness is inevitable..."

It is continued now...

THE BEAUTIFUL STORY

PART II

THE BEES OF ISRAEL

"Eternity is not much longer than life."
Ren? Char

Do you really believe that?
Don't tell me she isn't a whore.

Parents don't do that.
I don't worry, Mom!

Even if she only left it
for 10 minutes.

Even 3 seconds.
You just can't do that.

Seeing as we can't
move our heads,

they should fit us
with rear-view mirrors.

Today, the wailing wall,

has given me a few quotations
from your favorite writers.

Let's try
to comment on them together.

So note the first quotation:

"Eternity is hardly any longer
than a night in jail."

"Where my life failed,
my death will succeed."

"The commandments should have been
carved on our asses."

"Now I know both, l?d rather be in jail
than in a man's arms."

Arms with an "s"
because there are two of them.

"Prison isn't a church. I arrived
as whore and l?ll leave the same."

"Men are as small and tart as gherkins

"and they have
a sell-by date as well."

And finally:
"What is a man after all?"

What is a man for you, Odona?

I?m at gherkins...

No problem.
What's a man for you?

I don't know, l?ll tell you after class.

I?m sure you'll walk again,
even if we have to go to Lourdes.

That asshole of a cop
promised to stay out of our lives

and that you'd stay
in the state hospital.

My attorney is sure
l?ll be out in two years.

Long enough for you to recover
and me to study.

Especially as the teacher's eyes
could get you through any exam.

If he's not too married.

I already got his photo.

Are you asleep?

How can I sleep
when he's with his wife?

I?m waiting for dawn
like a condemned prisoner.

Are you sure he's 33?

Can I have a word with you?

Of course.

Have you got children?

Two and a half.

What do you mean?

The third's almost here.

You must love your wife.

A little, yes, a little...

truly, madly, deeply, or not at all.

It depends on a lot of things.

When you get to "not at all,"
think of me.

Very good, miss.

I?ve got a beautiful story for you too.