La Parisienne (1957) - full transcript

I'll speak to the president.
Call me in two weeks.

Thank you, my friend.

Orly airport.

Hey, Michel.

Get a move on.

Wait for me!

Driving licence, please.

Brigitte Laurier, like the president.

I'm his daughter.

That's still no reason to run a red light.

Hurry up officer,
I'm chasing the man I love.



That's the best way to lose him.

I know, but I can't help myself.

OK. Off you go.

- But don't do it again.
- Thanks, officer.

- Wait for me over there.
- Mr Legrand.

Alain Dubrouillet.

Any comment on
the president's sudden return?

No. In fact we're not talking
about a sudden return,

more of a return put forward
thanks to the efforts...

Darling!

- The efforts?
- Of the Conference of 7.

Thank you vey much, sir.

Darling.

People will see us.



How sweet of you to be here!

I know how busy you are,
and yet you come and see me off.

I'll buy you some pyjamas
in New York to replace yours.

You know what we'll do when I return?

The same as before.

We'll go to the registry office to say yes.

Great idea, but impossible.

- Why?
- You're already married.

I've a surprise for you.
I'm getting a divorce.

- Mrs Wilson, hurry up.
- I'm coming.

That's a serious decision.

We'll talk about it when you're back.

I've made up my mind.

Be good, my little grasshopper.

Goodbye.

Goodbye!

Expect a letter, I'll write tonight.

Goodbye!

I understand your haste.

You had to see one of your mistresses.

She's less of a tart than the others.
What's her name?

You are neither my wife nor my mistress.

My private life is my own.

It's not my fault I love you.

Strange, since
you're not even good-looking.

- You deserve a good hiding.
- Go ahead!

You wouldn't dare with all these people.

You'd be too scared
to compromise your precious career.

So, how are you?

Was it cold in Oslo? Your nose is cold.

So is yours. How's my little idiot?

I'm lovesick.

Well, that's new.

Any comments on the conference of 7?

It was a very successful
and rewarding trip.

We made constructive progress.

We have just forged the cradle of Europe.

Now we just have to put her in it.

At the last Conference of 5,

which took place at New York in 1954,

the group of European ministers
charged with examining...

No... Charged with examining together

the risks of the economic situation,

inflation...

I love it when you're serious.

Miss Laurier, if you don't stop
I shall have to tell your father.

- What will you tell him?
- That you won't leave me alone.

I'll tell him you kissed me
on the neck the first time I was here.

A regrettable kiss.

You kissed me twice,
on the neck and on the mouth.

- You seemed to enjoy it.
- I didn't know your age.

Or that you were
the president's daughter.

- Want to get married?
- No.

- You're ill at ease.
- When you're here.

Really?

You're getting on my nerves.
Sit down and write.

Right...

The group of European ministers
examining the economic situation,

inflation...

Please button up your cardigan.

- Where was I?
- Inflation. Button up your cardigan.

I can see your belly button.

Don't you like it?

Inflation, a slowing-down
of expansion in certain cases

obliges us to opt at present

for a rigorous monetary and credit policy...

A rigorous monetary
and credit policy... comma...

- What's wrong?
- I've lost my pencil. Can you help me?

- Use this one.
- But it's tickling me.

Keep still.

Here you are.

Legrand, in fact you're right
to delete paragraph three.

- It might upset our English friends.
- Yes, sir.

- What are you doing here?
- You said I should be a secretary.

I said 'perhaps'. When did you start?

When you left for the conference.

Right. And are you pleased with her?

- Well sir, in fact...
- Come on, speak freely.

- She works hard at it.
- I'm delighted to hear it. Carry on.

You can rely on me, father.

So, where were we?

Let's get down to some serious work.

- Hello, it's me.
- Hello. But I told you...

I told you never to call me here.

But you gave me the number.

I'm busy.

I've got someone in my office.

Calm down.
Are we still on for the weekend?

Of course. I'll pick you up at noon.

I envy her. I'd so love
to spend a weekend with you.

I came as soon as I could.
I was about to leave for the weekend.

- I brought you the file.
- What file?

I never asked you to bring over a file.

You said it was urgent.

To hunt ducks?
I don't understand a thing.

On top of that, your arrival is ill-timed.

I don't want you to see Mrs d'Herblay.

I don't know d'Herblay's wife.

- He married Caroline.
- Who?

Your Caroline.

Caroline...
The one who tried to kill me?

I'm out of here.

- Michel!
- Too late.

Michel.

You never call me any more.

After what happened...

It was just a teeny weeny bullet.

- I was hospitalised for a month.
- Let's put that all behind us.

It's so lovely to see you again.

Let me introduce you
to my new husband.

You can't believe
what an awful bore he is.

Darling!

Darling, have you met Michel Legrand?

Of course I know the cabinet chief.

Are you staying?

- No, I'm returning to Paris.
- Excellent.

- Oh no, you've got to stay.
- Don't insist, Caroline.

He's staying here.

You'll come duck hunting with us.
You must convince him to stay.

It's impossible.
I haven't got the right clothes.

Albert will lend you all you need.
Won't you, Albert?

Come on, Michel.

- Brigitte?
- Yes, daddy.

- Was it you who got Michel here?
- Yes, it was me.

Are you angry?

I had a reason for not inviting him.

- D'Herblay is furious.
- So? You can't stand him.

Quite right, but I need
the votes of his group in the House.

All this for 32 votes?

Don't meddle with politics, Brigitte.

One's enough in the family.

Why did you trick him into coming here?

Because I love him.
I can't bear to be parted from him.

You're in love with Michel?

I learnt shorthand to be near him.

- Does he love you?
- Not at all, unfortunately.

Good. You could end up unhappy
with that guy.

- Why?
- Because he's too ambitious.

He's not the loving type.

- What about his mistresses?
- That's got nothing to do with it.

He has mistresses because...

- By the way, I hope you didn't...
- Oh no, daddy, never.

- And he's never tried...
- Never.

Great. He may be dumb,
but he's very honest.

Let's go.

Hello. I hope I'm not disturbing you.

Not at all. I'm happy to see you.

- I don't believe it.
- But it's true, Miss Laurier.

You've arrived at just the right time.
You can make your dream come true.

- Take off your clothes.
- I don't understand.

You want to do it here, right away?

You stopped me going to Deauville
and got my girlfriend mad at me,

so let's start the weekend now.

Undress!

Slob. Maniac!

I hate you! You're obsessed with sex.

If you change your mind, let me know.

You'll never see me again, you pig.

I see you've left your hide.

My feet are really freezing.

I think my boot's leaking.

- Have you seen my wife?
- Probably at the edge of the reeds.

Follow me, I'll take you there.

So, have you considered my proposal?

Are you joining the government?

- I have to talk to my group.
- I understand.

I didn't know Legrand knew my wife.

They go back a long way.

He must be vey popular with the ladies.

You must be joking.
He's a hard-working young man.

Here we are.

There's nobody there.

She's probably gone back
to the hunting lodge.

I suppose so.

- What on earth is that?
- A duck.

How disgusting! We never seem
to get a moment's peace.

Tonight, I shall come to your room.

Don't even think of it.

Not here, at the president's home.

I couldn't care less.

If your husband found out...
it would be awful.

- My career would be in jeopardy.
- There's no danger.

We've got separate rooms,
and he sleeps like a log.

It'll be fine.

Leave your door open.
I'll be there at midnight.

I thought you'd forgotten me.

Sometimes I wish I could.
It would be one less worry in my life.

Good night.

You know I love you very much.

You've got me worried.
It's not like you to say things like that.

You're not up to something, are you?

What can I get up to?

- Do you need a book?
- Yes, a good sci-fi book puts me to sleep.

Take this one. It's great.

- Has it got Martians?
- It's full of Martians. You'll love it.

Thank you. Sleep tight.

- You really came?
- It wasn't easy.

Not you!

- Go back to your room immediately.
- Not before I tell you something.

Tomorrow.

- You'll be overjoyed when you hear it.
- I don't care. Off you go.

You don't get it, do you?

- Get what?
- That I agree. I want to.

- You want to what?
- Be your mistress.

Oh Lord, that's all I need.

I'll never mention marriage.

But I want you to take me in your arms.

I want you to kiss me.

Excuse me. Wrong door.

That's all right, my friend.

Your room is the first on the left
in front of you when you leave.

Thank you.

And which room
does your chief advisor have?

Your chief advisor's room.

It's on the next floor, last door on the right.

- May I ask...
- I need to speak to him.

But it's after midnight, d'Herblay.

So what?

I don't care. Our chief advisor
is sleeping with my wife.

- Michel?
- My wife's just gone up there.

You tart, coming here in your nightie.

- Just like you.
- That's different. I'm married.

Caroline. Brigitte.

- What's that?
- Probably more trouble.

Optical illusion?

I'm going to make mincemeat
of your chief advisor!

Let's not have a scandal. Calm down.
Let's sit down and talk about it.

Leave me alone.
I'm going to smash his face in.

D'Herblay.

Let go of me, God damn it!

It's my husband.

- Get out and hide in another room.
- In my nightie?

You seem to be used to it.

You mustn't be found here.
Caroline please, I beg you.

- They're here.
- My dear d'Herblay.

A respected Republican,
this is below your dignity.

Leave me alone!

Do you need any help?
Is this fellow bothering you?

Go back to your room, general.
That goes for all of you.

It's just a misunderstanding.

They must have heard me by now.

- What's happening?
- He's with his wife.

Open this door, you chicken!

So that's what the ministers
of this government get up to.

Please, my dear d'Herblay, no politics.

Michel, open the door.

Michel, can you hear me?

- It's daddy.
- Find somewhere to hide.

In here.

Hide behind here.
Whatever you do, don't move.

Brigitte, where are you?

My wife, where's my wife?

- Where's my wife?
- What's going on?

- My wife's here.
- What wife?

- There's no one here.
- You see there's no one here.

Come out of there, you...

- Excuse me.
- Bastard!

- What are you doing here?
- Hypocrite.

I'm so sorry.
Please accept my deepest sympathy.

It's beneath your dignity,
a simple misunderstanding.

Get out of here. Leave us alone.

Of course you can count on my
discretion, my word as an officer.

Thank you, general. I'm touched.

- Close the door.
- May I just say...

- Close the door!
- Yes, Mr President.

Put this around you. Quickly.

Mr President...

Hold your tongue, understand?

To do that to me in front of everybody.

But I promise I've done nothing.

Say something, Brigitte.

- Tell him.
- Yes, darling.

- Don't call me that.
- OK, darling.

Mr President, listen.

On my honour,
on the honour of the government,

and the Republic, nothing happened.

Oh really? The whole of Paris
saw my daughter in your bed,

and you tell me nothing happened.

I assure something will happen.

A wedding, immediately!

- Thank you, daddy.
- Marriage? Please not that, sir.

We'll see.

- But she'll never be happy.
- She'll be married.

Let's try and find another way.
Any ideas?

You both make me sick.

You want to be rid of me
and you've got cold feet.

Well, I refuse.

You'll marry him. I order you to.

I will never, ever marry him.

You will marry him.

Handle her gently.

Shut up, or I'll demand
your resignation and slap you.

What a good idea, go ahead.

Michel, will you take Brigitte
to be your lawful wedded wife,

according to the rites
of our sacred church?

Yes.

Brigitte, will you take Michel
to be your lawful wedded husband,

according to the rites
of our sacred church?

Yes.

Give each other your right hand.

I suggest we go to bed right away.

I'm worn out. Last time I'm getting married.

A nightcap?

You should be ecstatic.
You've got what you wanted.

You married me to please my father.
That's all that matters to you.

- Where's my room?
- Over there.

There's only one bed.

Of course.

- What are you doing?
- Making your bed.

- And where are you sleeping?
- In the bedroom.

- Alone?
- I'm a big girl.

I had certain ideas about marriage.

Well they're not mine.

You're adorable in that outfit.

It really suits you.

- What's the matter?
- I want to brush my teeth.

- Now what?
- Guess.

I said no and that's final.

Sorry to bother you.

My pyjamas must be somewhere.

Sorry about this.

That's strange. They should be here.

Leave me alone. I hate you.

But why? What have I done?

You don't love me.
You married me against your will.

I wanted a marriage built on love.

- I'm glad I married you.
- You're lying.

You're wasting your time.
I'm made of ice.

You really mean that?

Daddy!

I'm unhappy.

Unhappy?

And what about all these
postcards which say "I'm so happy"?

That's just an official communiquÈ.

You should know what that is.

Come in!

Mr President, excuse me,
the ceremony starts at 11.45 a.m.

Right, I'm coming.

Look, my dear,
I found that hard to believe.

You've just got back from your honeymoon.
It's early days yet.

So, what's the problem?

I married a Don Juan. You did warn me.

He's unfaithful already?

Not yet, but he will be. I can feel it.

And if he does, he'll be sorry he did.

And that's why you come
and disturb me in my office?

Michel loves you.

Do you really think so? He never says so.

Love and sadness are always silent.

Does he never speak of me? Because...

My hat!

Queen Greta and Prince Charles
arrive in a quarter of an hour.

It's very important for France.

So let's sort out love problems next time.

..as Prince Charles goes to meet
the president of the French Republic.

Her majesty Queen Greta proceeds
as he passes near us in full uniform -

a good-looking man, smiling

and apparently pleased with
the warmth of his welcome.

After the Champs ElysÈes and
Arc de Triomphe, Paris pays tribute

here at the Town Hall in the rooms
where we follow the events,

through which so many
crowned heads have passed.

Juliette.

- What did you think of my curtsy?
- You'll be perfect.

The prince is so good-looking.
Just my type.

Imagine, madam will be
presented to the queen.

- Is that my little Michel?
- No, miss.

So he's not back yet?

No he's not,
but perhaps I can take a message.

- Who's calling?
- Monique Wilson.

I had a meeting with him at 4.00 p.m.

The poor darling had to wait.

Tell him I'll call tomorrow morning.

- Don't forget.
- You can count on me.

Commander and Mrs Chauvard.

Mrs Michel Legrand.

- Good evening, Michel.
- Darling.

My wife.

Mr Alexandre Mouchequin,
the French Ambassador.

I'm sorry to disturb you,
but someone called.

Monique Wilson.

I haven't seen her in a long time.

She apologises for today,
and will call you tomorrow.

- Fine.
- That's all you can say?

Monique's an old friend. So what?

You're vile. It's finished, Michel.
I'll be unfaithful to you.

Don't be silly. It's not that easy.

You can't improvise adultery.

That's what you think.

I'll take the first guy
who comes through that door.

You're on.

Prince Charles. The one you need.

Best of luck, darling.

It's a revolutionary plane
which handles extremely well.

- I'd love to fly it.
- You'll enjoy it.

Last year in England, I...

I tried the Vickers Delta. Do you know it?

An amazing plane.

Unfortunately my program
leaves me little free time.

I shall keep an aircraft
at your Excellency's disposition.

- Who is that young girl?
- The one who curtsied?

The president's daughter.

Does she have a twin?

No, she's an only child.

Your Highness, you startled me.

Madam, we're already old friends.

I have had the pleasure of meeting
you a lot recently. Lost something?

I've dropped my pearls.

I'm sure we'll find them.

Your Highness, what about protocol?

Let's dispense with it for once.

Don't let me stop you in your search.

- Are they all there?
- I'm missing two.

I think I see one under the harpsichord.

That's one.

- And here's the other.
- Well done!

By the way, you have a splendid career
awaiting you in the circus.

May I ask you something?

Why did you break your bracelet?

You did it on purpose, didn't you?

Yes, your Highness.

What I have to tell you is very difficult.

Well, here goes. I'm in love with you.

- You're not angry, I hope?
- Not at all.

I'm... surprised. Pleasantly surprised,
but still surprised.

- So you're in love with me?
- Yes, your Highness.

Have you felt this way a long time?

- No, not very long.
- Ah, then it's love at first sight?

That's right, your Highness.

I wonder what she's saying to him?

Who is that young man looking at us?

He's my husband.

He's very charming,
and much younger than I.

A man is as young as his admirer.

How sweet of you.

Does your husband know you love me?

Of course not, your Highness.
I don't tell him about my affairs.

- Do you have many affairs?
- That depends.

- Don't you agree?
- About what?

Your wife is extolling her unusual ideas
on modern marriage.

I was talking about our open relationship.

I'm quite used to
my husband having a mistress.

- My wife likes to joke.
- Yes, I've noticed.

I fear I must return to more
official business. Please excuse me.

Michel, have you gone crazy?

Ah, the love birds.

Sparkling eyes, fiery cheeks...

I love that. Long live youth!

We're going home.

♪ One day my prince will come

- Are you angry?
- Me? Not at all.

I'm in a great mood.

♪ One day my prince will come

♪ He was just a little sailor

♪ Who'd never sailed a boat

I'd love to join you.

Take a bath with your mistress,
not with me.

- So it's like that?
- Get out.

Aren't you ashamed of yourself?

You pig!

I'll make a deal with you.

You drop Monique and I'll dump the prince.

I'd be getting the worse deal.

Why? The prince and I are an item.

I've got a date with him.

Who knows what will happen?

Brigitte, promise me you won't go.

I promise you, Michel.

And what about Monique?

Whatever you wish.

Behave.

Marriage is for better or worse.

Michel Legrand, please.

Hold the line, please.

It's your mistress.

- What mistress?
- Monique Wilson.

Tell her I'm not here.

He's taking a bath.

Could you come to lunch, say at 1.00 p.m?

At 1.00 p.m? Tell him I'd be delighted.

Goodbye.

What have you done?
Are you out of your mind?

You promised to end it.
Now you can announce you're married.

This is an impossible situation!

The three of us having lunch!

Don't worry, I'll leave you alone with her.

What will you do?

I'll have lunch with daddy.

So, are you pleased to see me again?

Actually Monique,
I've got something to tell you.

Kiss me first and tell me later.

Right, but...

- You may serve lunch now.
- Yes, sir.

Madam.

Be quiet. He mustn't know I'm here.

Do you like my new lipstick?

It's called 'Strawberry and whisky'.

It's not bad at all.

Leave that. I'll serve it myself.

Monique, behave yourself.

Darling, I didn't come just for that.

The maid might come in.

Don't be silly.

Has my little darling been a good boy
while I've been away?

Of course, silly.

Thank you, we'll serve ourselves.
Bring some mayonnaise, if there is any.

- Of course there is. And butter, please.
- Yes, sir.

Your maid was listening to every word.

I think she's in love with you.

Juliette? You are joking.

And she shops at Balmain.

I see you employ two maids.

No, just the one.

The mayonnaise is off, sir.

The kitchen staff is so sorry.

Thank you.

How disgusting!

Please excuse me, it's for me.

- Hello, your Highness.
- Staff these days!

You're so sweet, your Highness.

- Did you see that?
- Quiet, let me listen.

- Oh, your Highness.
- But I want to speak to Mr Legrand.

Yes, your Highness.

At the embassy?

I'll be over right away. Goodbye.

- Where are you going?
- That's my business.

- She's your maid?
- She's my wife.

- He's married a maid. That's rich.
- Monique, be quiet.

- I forbid you to leave.
- Try and stop me.

- You'll stay here.
- You have no say.

- That's right, madam.
- Keep out of this.

You can't treat your wife like a maid.

Keep quiet.

Now I see you for the slob you are,
a despicable person.

Well done.

- Go and be unfaithful to him.
- That's enough.

- Brigitte, stay here.
- You're vile. It's over.

Oh great. Get lost!

Creep.

Brigitte, don't be stupid.

Is that you, Mr Legrand?

I just phoned you, but someone
thought I was his Highness.

Hold the line, please.

Goodbye.

- You're off to see the prince?
- That's right.

Have a nice time, my sweet.

Give my regards to the prince.

You'll be sorry, Michel.

I'm not going back on my decision.
I'll cheat on you.

See you tonight.

Hello. It's me again.

- Is this a bad moment?
- No, I'm delighted to see you.

I was passing by and thought
I'd come and say hello.

I know you're leaving tomorrow.

I won't keep you any longer.

You must have a lot to do.

No. Shall we spend the day together?

- You are free?
- Completely free.

I have a program in mind.

Have you ever met the queen of England?

- Once.
- We can have tea with her.

- She's in Paris?
- In London.

- We can't get to London in time.
- Oh yes, we can.

- We'll go by plane?
- I have a jet standing by.

- You don't mind?
- It's the best day of my life.

I'll just make sure
that the plane will be ready.

I'd like to speak to Colonel Morin.

Childhood is not something
belonging to the nation.

To be more exact,
it belongs to the only entity

which God gave man: humanity.

From time to time, once every century,

a learned man, a philosopher...

- I have a request.
- I'm listening, Charles.

Greta, with your permission,

I would like to skip the visit
to the nursery at 5.00 p.m.

Skip it?

Cut it out, if you prefer.

Surely you're not serious.

This might not be an official visit,
but we are expected there.

You are a woman. You adore children.

As far as I'm concerned,
they get on my princely nerves.

You really are too much.

What will you be doing while I'm there?

You've made plans?

Well, Colonel Morin has kindly
put a new jet fighter at my disposal.

I'd love to try it out.

- I'll tell them you have a migraine.
- Thank you.

- Promise me you'll be careful.
- I will.

Michel, you'll never guess
what's happened to me.

I'm having tea with the queen of England.

I haven't the time for jokes.

- I'm going with the prince.
- I haven't time for this childishness.

Brigitte's going for tea
with the queen of England.

- The queen's here?
- No, in London.

Brigitte's just pulling my leg.

She wants to make me jealous.
She says she's going with Prince Charles.

What's your name, my dear?

- Brigitte.
- That's a nice name.

Perhaps it's better
if we go for a swim in Nice.

O.K. with you?

Childhood is not something
belonging to the nation.

In fact, it belongs to the only entity

which God gave man: humanity.

Once every century,

a philosopher, a learned man,

a doctor, a priest or a poet

rises above the horizon.

And like the sun above the frontiers...

Do you know why the prince isn't here?

- The prince has a migraine.
- A migraine?

Actually he had better things to do
than open a nursery.

This is between you and me.

I suggested he try our new jet fighter.

He flew off with a young lady.

About 20 years old. Gorgeous, apparently.

We can never stress enough

that care and education during infancy
play a major role.

- I can't believe...
- Be quiet.

Let's listen to the queen's speech.

Do you know where the prince is?

- Yes, he's...
- He is ill.

- But I've just told you...
- That he was ill.

- No I didn't, I told you...
- That he would be better tomorrow.

Which means today he's ill.

Anyway, we're not going to haggle about it.

Mr Albert de la Motte is a skilled manager

and he is making incredible sacrifices.

- It's so cold.
- My teeth are chattering.

Turn around, I'm taking my suit off.

- Do you think we'll catch a cold?
- How do you feel?

I've got shivers down my spine.

I think I'm about to sneeze.
But I'm fighting it.

Let's get dressed.

Could we have two more grogs please?

Right away, sir.

It's rather nice here.
I think we made a good choice.

Brigitte, why don't we sit over here?

It'll be better.

Mr Fernand, Big RenÈ is back there.

Big RenÈ?

I'd like to ask you a question. May I?

What a pleasure to meet you.

My name's Fernand, call me Animal.

- Pleased to meet you.
- How was the trip?

No trouble with her?

She's got curves in all the right places.
Where did you find her? In Paris?

I knew it when I saw you.
You've put her in the picture, I hope.

There must be some error.

You can trust me.

You can say what you want here.

I'm a friend of Fat Jules.

- Fat Jules?
- Jules from Montpellier.

The one who did three years at Clerveau.

I'm delighted to meet you,
but I'd like to be alone with this lady.

Of course, RenÈ. I'll leave you to it.

Who do you think Big RenÈ is?

I don't know, but I'm flattered.

Big RenÈ is obviously a good person.

That Parisian chick's really something.
She's real classy.

You told me you were in love with me.

What was your reason for saying that?

Here are the grogs.

Don't look at me like that.

You didn't answer my question.

Don't ask questions. Woo me.

I really want you to woo me.

That's good. So do I.

- We haven't much time.
- Let's dance.

Hi man.

- Who's that guy over there?
- Big RenÈ.

Seen the chick he's with? Real classy.

Don't you think we've danced enough?

- It's very late.
- We've got loads of time.

Kiss me again on the neck. I love that.

If my husband could see me now.

- Your husband?
- When I tell him what we did.

And especially what we're going to do...

You intend on telling your husband...

That's right, from A to Z.

He'll have to believe me this time.

Oh, he doesn't usually?

I have a confession to make.

You're my first lover.

- You've never been unfaithful to him?
- Never.

You're a good choice for my first time.

So you are a debutante adulteress.

That wasn't my impression yesterday.

If you want to be unfaithful,
you're going the wrong way about it.

Never let your husband know.

Most women know that.

It's quite simple. When I bring you home
tonight, you say to Jacques...

His name's Michel.

"You'll never guess what happened today.
I went to the cinema."

"Alone?" "Yes, alone."

"Do you know who I met
when I came out? Marie-Claire."

"The one you think is stupid."

"We went for a cup of tea, then..."

Does the queen believe
your preposterous lies?

Not always, but she did the first time.

So don't worry, he will believe you.

Perhaps I shouldn't have called him.

Yes, I agree.

- You called him?
- From the airport.

- What did you tell him?
- The truth.

Your husband knows about us?

How did he react?

He didn't believe me,
it seemed so unlikely.

When he hears I wasn't at the nursery,
his imagination will run wild.

Don't worry. He isn't the jealous type.

Oh yes, he is!

That was plain to see last night.

He's very capable of making a fuss.

And if the papers get hold of it,
it would be the end.

You're just like him,
only thinking of your career.

Do you really think
he'd make a scandal?

Hi guys. Is RenÈ here yet?

See for yourself. Over there.

Are you out of your mind?

As if I wouldn't know Big RenÈ.

He's a crafty shark with a moustache.

So who's he?

- Maybe he's a cop.
- No, he's not.

I know that guy. It'll come to me.

Did you screw him?

I never forget a client.

And I would certainly remember him.

The bill, please.

I'm going to have a word with him.

I'll take the chick.

No need to rush off like that, old man.

Stick around for a bit.

What's your name?

Oh shit, the prince!

- Look, it's the prince.
- The prince?

Christ, the prince.

Your Majesty. Your Royal Highness.

Excuse us, sir. We are just
modest people from the Midi...

You're worrying about nothing.

I'm sure she's having tea with her friend.

- You really believe the prince is ill?
- Of course I do.

Well I don't. I'm off to the embassy.

- To see the prince.
- You can't. He's ill.

He's no more ill than you.
He's with Brigitte, I know it.

Did Brigitte tell you she was with him?

- She certainly did.
- So calm down.

If she'd really been with him,
she'd have told you the opposite.

Women never tell the truth.

If he's really ill, I'll apologise.

If not, I'll smash his face in.

- No scandal!
- I'll smash his face in.

- Think of your career.
- To hell with it!

Think of the political implications.

Let go of me.

- The embassy?
- Yes, sir.

This is the president.

I'd like to speak to the queen.

It's extremely urgent.

Prince Charles, please,
on behalf of the president.

Yes, sir.

His Highness has a migraine.

I don't believe you. Prove it.

- You can't prove a migraine.
- I'm not leaving until I see him.

I'll see him, no matter what the cost.

If I don't have you thrown out first.

Try it.

You'll have the biggest scandal
ever on your hands.

If he's ill, take me to him.
But he's not ill, is he?

He's with my wife
and I'm going to smash his face in.

Your Majesty, may I present the president's
chief advisor, Mr Legrand.

He's asked you to ask
about his Highness' health?

I suppose you could say that, madam.

Do thank him for me.

My husband's feeling much better.

May I see the prince for a moment?

It's very important.

As long as he's feeling better...

I prefer him to rest
to be ready for tomorrow.

Good evening.

I'm sorry to be so insistent,
but I must see the prince.

I'm sure he's not ill,
and I'm certain he's not here.

- They're in his Excellency's office?
- Yes.

Thank you.

As your Majesty gives me
no other choice...

I have every reason to believe...

Greta, I was...

Excuse me. I was looking for you.

This is Mr Legrand. He's asking about
your health. On behalf of the president.

Really? I'm very touched.

Please assure the president
that it's just a...

Excuse me... a common cold.

It could have been much worse.

But I believe you have some questions
to ask his Highness.

Yes... No.

Actually I came to see you about...

About your Highness' departure
by plane tomorrow.

I thought there was a plane mentioned.

We need the exact departure time
for the journalists.

- 11.30 a.m. precisely.
- Thank you, your Highness.

I'm glad you're ill.

I mean...

Thank you for coming. Good night.

- Daddy.
- There you are at last.

I didn't know you were here.
I was having tea with an old friend...

I know where you've been.

I didn't do anything,
but that prince is a real charmer.

Tell that to your husband.
He's going out of his mind.

He's like a man possessed.
He left for the embassy.

- That means he's jealous.
- He's not in a normal state.

God knows what's happening there.

Why him of all people?

A prince on an official visit?

We'll be the laughing stock in the cabarets.

The government could fall.

I would never recover
from a scandal like that.

I'm a dead man.

Why did he want to see me?

- I don't know why he was so insistent.
- Come off it.

The president called me.
I know you went to Nice with her.

So you know. Well Greta,
I assure you nothing happened.

I promise you, and for once I think
I've been of service to someone.

If nothing else,
you bring some excitement to my life.

- Life would be boring otherwise.
- You forgive like a lady.

Who said I'd forgiven you?

Tell me, was she just as ravishing
at high altitude as on the ground?

I have to admit I like her very much.

- I don't dare ask why.
- You may. She adores her husband.

That's nice to hear.

You can stop sneezing now.
It'll get you nowhere.

I'm not putting it on.
You're really not fair, Greta.

You know I never tell a complete lie.

Here he is.

Good evening. You're still here?

I'll leave.

I want you to hear what I've to say
to Brigitte, so please stay.

Where were you this afternoon?

I was with the prince.

Maybe it's better that I left.

No, I'd prefer you to stay.

So you spent the day with the prince?

We went to Nice for a swim.

- And you caught a cold?
- Yes.

You must take me for a fool.

The prince didn't leave
the embassy all day.

He was ill.

So you couldn't have been with him.

The prince was
vey charming and understanding.

You nearly made a fool of us both.

We almost believed all your lies.

We were convinced you were having tea
with the queen in Nice...

Or whatever story you invented.

Well, I never believed a word.

You're incapable of being unfaithful to me.

Absolutely. I know my daughter.
She loves you.

She just wanted to make you jealous.

Good night.

Promise me this won't happen again.

Now promise me you'll never lie again.

I promise, Michel.

Now give me your word of honour
in front of your father.

Brigitte, do what Michel asks you.

I'll always tell the truth.
I give you my word of honour.

Now my darling,
where were you this afternoon?

I was with the prince.

She's at it again.

Brigitte's only joking.

Tell Michel where you really were.

I went to the cinema on the
Champs ElysÈes to see an Italian film.

I met an old school friend coming out
and we went for a cup of tea together.

You see, that wasn't difficult, was it?

- You believe me?
- Yes.

I can always tell when you're lying.

You could never lie to me.

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