L'Amour (1988) - full transcript

By spending his money buying affection from his younger wife Gloria, businessman Vince Brewster can't pay alimony. Therefore, his former wife Ellen and son Mark simply enter unseen with their luggage. Ellen uses this to peep on Vince and Gloria, imagining herself back in Gloria's place. The diner waitress Pam Wilson, who hit on Mark in her diner, then calls him over. It turns out she wants a bedroom date but even more so a bathroom one. Meanwhile, Vince's lawyer and friend Jerry enjoys his own younger lover Stacy. Ellen officially dates Jerry, admitting it's partly proving Gloria she wants sex with Jerry, not Vince. Ellen helps Gloria who falls in the pool, and the two make passionate amends. Vince and Jerry get picked up in a bar by Samantha and Leslie. The fun lasts until Vince's date reveals being a transsexual. Mark brings over Pam, but during the night painkiller-high Gloria accidentally stumbles in and has sex with him thinking he's Vince. Instead of stopping her, Mark even takes his stepmother from behind. Pam does the same to his father, only on purpose. With drunk Jerry sleeping over, Gloria visits him in bed the following morning saying they should have married. Sensing this, Vince re-proposes to Ellen.

Vince, it's a long time friend attorney and

drinking buddy

I have to tell you got to

stop making some payments

and I saw Ellen today and...

Oh shit is Ellen bitching again?

That's there's a right to complain you're way behind

Who's side are you on anyway?

I'm on both your sides you know that

You still there?
Have any suggestions?

Yeah, yeah I have some suggestions I suggest you start making

some payments

Believe me Jerry I am

making payments on that three-bedroom

house I bought, Gloria's jewelry, that that

fucking honeymoon in Europe that I couldn't even afford

Vince look I sympathize with your

problems but we're talking about Ellen

she's having a very hard financial time

of it and you got to start doing something

I'll see what I can do

Yeah. Talk to you later

Ah that's better now we can concentrate

on some serious business

Oh Baby.
I hate the smell of that cigars

I'm sorry baby I'm gonna give him up one

of these days

How much good sir?

Oh hi Pam

What can I get for you today?

How about a large iced tea?

Anything else? How about today's special?

Yeah I'll be fine


Did you have to show off like that?

I was just trying to be nice

Yeah... but not too nice

But it's easy

Your snap crotch

Are you lawyers don't know anything?

Let me do it

Can you do it?

It's not a snap

Yes it is

Babe, suck on here

Brewster's residence,

Gloria Brewster speaking


Gloria is that you? You sound funny

- Everything's all right?
- I'm fine! I'm just

waiting for you to get home I'm warming

something up for you right now

Don't tell me you're finally learning how to cook

No but I do have something cooking

Well honey I'm afraid you're gonna have

to put it on the back burner I gotta see a client

Can't he wait?

I'm afraid not. What is it you got warming up?

Hold on, I wish you'd listen to it

Did you hear me out?

Gloria did you buy a cat?

No silly I have a pussy and it's meow

is *** harder for you

I swear baby if I could I'd come home right now

But I can't.
You just keep it warm for a couple of hours

and I'll get there

How about giving it a kiss over the phone?

See you later

Ooh that gave me goosebumps all over

Hurry home, okay, and do it in person


Come in my mouth

I spoke to Vince he said he'd try mixing payments

Jerry, that's what he said the

last time and the time before that

I know. He's not a bad guy

And I know that. I was married him for 15 years,


It's just I cannot make it financially

alone anymore

Well. What a fun I *** ***

some money

Jerry you know how I feel

about that, but thank you

Now it's time that husband of mine that

ex-husband of mine left after his

responsibilities and I think I know just

how to do it

Oh yeah? Tell me how?

I think I'm gonna pack up my troubles I

move into a brand-new house. House where

there are more bedrooms than the current

owner can use

Ellen you don't mean you're gonna go...

I certainly do. Watch me:

honeymoon cottage here I come

Boy you think we'd have more ***

possessions after all this time into

good thing we don't own all this

furniture honey I never fit in with your

father's *** or anyway

so you sure you

want to go through this I know we've

been through it before but...

All I know Mark, is

that we've got to do something I'm out

of a job and our bank account is zilch

but I can get a job, mom.

And quit college? No honey I won't hear that

Just for a semester or two

Yes and that's what I said all those

years ago I always promised myself I'd

go back to school and I never did and I

don't want the same thing to happen to you

I guess dad was pretty excited when

you told him huh?

She didn't tell him!

honey I was going to but well you you

know how your father is

You should have told him

Yeah I guess you're right I should

have told him

Tell you what, we'll stop on the way and

I'll call him then

Honey go ahead and order I'll go call

your father and tell him the good news


Hi! I don't think you're right here before

I just moved into the area

Oh, good, so you can get back

to the restaurant again

Could be

I'm Pam Wilson, what's your name?

Mark. Mark Brewster


There's a guy named Brewster comes in a lot

He drives a red convertible

That's my dad!

Me and my mom we're gonna move in with him

Great, so you will be coming back in again

I do more than *** customers

Can give name of *** things to stop by

Great, I'd like that

Well, there was nobody home so I guess

we'll just have to surprise them


Mom, this is Pam Wilson

Nice to meet you

Hello dear, nice to meet you too

What can I get you folks?

2 Deluxe's and 2 rough beers

Okay, come right up

You couldn't get him on the phone, huh?

Honey I tried but nobody was home

Sure you dialed the right number?

Mark, after all these years I know your father's number

Aren't you getting a little friendly

with that kid over there?

Dad, give me a break


(Ohh... ohh)

Oh Christ, a sec you scared the shit out of me

Gloria you haven't been taking any

of those tranquilizers again, have you?

You know how they affect you

I want you


Hello, anybody home?

The good sign is door is open

That means your father's expecting us

Honey why don't you bring the rest of

the things in and I'll scout locations

They found the extra bedroom honey

yours is downstairs

Is Dad here?

He certainly is

But I don't think he wants to be bothered right now

So why don't you go ahead and unpack

and I... I guess I'll go

in the kitchen start fixing supper


Oh Vince that was wonderful

you're the greatest

Oh so are you baby

So are you

Where did this come from?

Oh, oh, this is lovely

I've always dreamed of having a coat like this

That's lovely Gloria, but

Oh I tried to walk passed it

I did it in fact several times but it just kept

saying to me buy me buy me buy me Gloria

It also tell you what to use for money?

My Charge Card of course

Of course

I knew you wouldn't mind

Gloria there's something we got to talk about

Of course honey but first let me

tell you that you're the most wonderful


and generous husband a girl could ever have


Jerry asked me and ***

He's a nice guy and I know he's

your best friend but he just wouldn't

understand about such luxuries

Take this fur coat for instance

Oh I'd like to take that fur coat right back to the store

Vince, be serious, you know you want me to

look nice and besides

I say that if you've got it, flaunt it

But I don't have it

Sure you do Honey. Maybe not as big as

Jerry's but your little doodoo is plenty

big enough for me

Gloria, I'm not talking

about my little doodoo god damn it

I am talking about this mania you

have for spending every penny I make

Sometimes before I make it

Hi, I didn't mean to interrupt

Go ahead finish your argument I just

wanted to stop by and say hello


Wasn't that your ex-wife?

That was Ellen alright.

Alright help!

What is she doing here?

I don't know but I sure is

shit intend to find out

- Mark!
- Hi dad

Have you seen your mother?

She's in the bedroom

Don't you ever knock?

In my own house?

This may be your house but this is my bedroom

Oh since when?

Since right now

Oh, hell it is. Get your bags and

get out of here please

You throw me out on that street, Vince Brewster,

I will take you to court so fast

your heads gonna spin

The judge will award me this whole house

just for that child support payments

What's going on here?

Oh... it looks like we've got a border, Honey

Two borders.

My son Mark will be staying downstairs

Vince, get this this... this creature out of our house

I've already told her

And I've already told him that we intend to stay

We'll be one big happy family

I'll do the cooking Gloria can do the cleaning

I don't do cleaning

We have a woman come in twice a week

Okay, I'll do the cleaning and

Gloria can do the cooking

I don't cook either

Well what do you do, Honey?

Uh, maybe you're good at sucking cock

Or there's a woman coming twice a week and do that too

Vince, do something!

Good idea. I *** *** Mark unpack.

- Nice coat sweetie
- Vince!

Oh Gloria calm down

Yeah I know all about it yes yes

yeah we could get rid of all

we could get Ellen out, yeah,

and then you know what happens

then Ellen takes Vince to

court ends up with the house and you're

out on the street.

How do I know? I'm Ellen's Lawyer

that's how I know honey.

But honey, listen listen I'm everybody's friend in

this, okay? I'll you know. Relax, let it go

for a couple days, and we'll see what

happens. Don't worry about it.

Jerry, if that bitch stays here I'm gonna

make her life miserable

It's good to see you Mark

'to see you dad

(they talk at the same time)

But Mark I know that I haven't been

around to see as much as I'd like

but the agency it's getting bigger and

getting married and ***...

It's okay dad, I understand

That it's moving in here like this

I've tried to talk mom about it, I really did, but...

You know how headstrong she is

Oh for Christ's sakes what's the big deal anyway

It's more than enough room in

this house than two people need


you and your mom you're welcome to stay

here as long as you like

Thanks, dad

Finish something

Where do you want this?

Wow, that's heavy...


Hi, it's me, Pam Wilson

the girl from the diner, do you remember?

How could I forget?

That's sweet. I've been thinking about you a lot

I've been thinking about you too.


I have got some free time

if you'd like to come over

Come over to your place?

Sounds great but what about your folks?

No problem we'll have the place all to ourselves

Be right over

Great. See you then. Bye bye

You'll be right over where?

Oh I've got a date with one of the neighborhood girls

Wow that was a fast work

I was hoping you'd help me with the dishes

Hey y'all up with the dishes

No thank you, I can handle it

Hey, yeah yeah yeah, what the hell?

Besides we got a built-in dishwasher

You just go out and you have yourself a good time, son


I've gotta take a shower and change clothes

Thanks a lot, dad

Make sure she uses birth control

What are you trying to do? Make points?

No no. I wasn't trying to make points


Okay, I was trying to make points

It's not too late, is it?

No, it's never too late

Oh, speaking of late, I've got to call

Jerry about our date tonight

Oh... so... we've got a date with Jerry

tonight huh?

Not "we", Vince. "I". I have a date

with Jerry tonight and I've got to call

him and let him know what time

Hi Mark. Good to see you. Come on in.

Good to see too. You look great

Come on in the bedroom

Just *** *** on top

Sit down

So what do you want to talk about?

How about sex?

You mean *** right now?

No silly! I don't want to have sex now

I just want to talk about it

Are you still a virgin?

What a dumb question. Do I look like a virgin?

I don't know

You're a virgin?

Of course not!

Do I look retarded or something?

I'll bet you still have your cherry

Guys don't have cherries

No... they have something better

Before you came I was dancing

Would you like to see me dance?

Yeah, sure.


Take off your pants

Have you ever seen a girl's pussy up close?

Only in pictures

It's okay. Come on.

Take a look

It's okay. Go ahead.

Look it. Kiss it.

Yeah, like that.

Good enough to eat?


That's good

Way back I wanna pee first

Wait a minute, I'm not into that kinky stuff

Silly! Not on you! In toilets.

***, come with me


I thought you had to go pee

I don't

I *** *** do it on my bed, you know


Come here, *** *** ***

I want your cock in my pussy

Let's go to bedroom

No, I don't want to wait. Still right here.

What's that noise?

*** *** it

Pam? Where the hell are you?

What was that?

Oh my god it's my dad

*** you. Oh no, we don't have time, it's too late

Come in here. Hurry, hurry

It's kind of surprise that you called tonight

It was kind of short notice, I'm sorry

Hey, no, that's okay

You can call me anytime

Is this social or business?

Strictly social

It's been a long time since we've seen each other

It's probably nice to get

out of the house too

Does it show?

No and I could imagine that

your first day at the Brewster's could

be a little trying

Actually it hasn't been that bad

Vince is handling this whole thing very well

What does Vince have to complain about?

He's got two wives one cooks the other fucks

I'm sorry

it's okay. It's the truth

Gloria thinks I moved in to

steal Vince away from her

And she's right?

I don't think so

Did you call me tonight to prove to

Gloria that you weren't after Vince?

That's part of it. Are you angry with me?

No no, that's what I'm on earth for: to be

abused by beautiful women

What's the rest of it?

The other part of it is that I wanted

to be with somebody that I care a lot about

I feel comfortable with

So do you want to fuck?

Thanks I needed it

Thank you

Remember the first time you made love?

Yeah, you haven't ***

Force of habit

You're thinking of him now?

You really want to know?


He never entered my mind once

Vince *** is through. Done. Kaput.

You're still crazy about him

It's sure I am.


Hey look, Vince,

it's about last night with your ex-wife

Oh yeah,

You did do her the last night, didn't you?

Have any fun?

Of course no,

What kind of fun could I have with a

beautiful woman like Ellen?

You're still in love with her, right?

Me? Interested in Ellen? Don't be ridiculous

Okay so you don't mind me going out

with her, doing things with her?

Doing things with her?

No, of course not, Jerry

Good. I'm relieved to hear it

I sure if we talk

*** this afternoon if you want

I've got a better idea

You remember that old bar we used to go

to down by the beach?

Why don't we meet there say about seven o'clock?

Okay great

be just like old times, two of us

together, owling at the moon

Alright, I'll see you then

Thought I'd take a deep

Go ahead

Water is great. You should try it

No thanks. I can't swim

Oh well, in that case you should let me

teach you. Come on.


You don't trust me

Should I? If I drowned you'd have a clear

field with Vince

You know something?

You're absolutely right


You and I, alone, here. All I have to do is

give you a push, into the water you go.

You'd swallow so much water you just be

gasping and kicking around you'd drown

like a rat

Don't worry sweetie,

I wouldn't dampen a single golden hair on

your precious head


Come on, grab me.

Oh, it's okay sweetie

Sit down

Come on, let's go inside the house


I'll be alright

Yes I know you will

Shut up while I try *** here

Why are you doing this?

Because you're wet

If you don't dry you off

you catch pneumonia and then

I'll be stuck taking care of you

You saved my life

I think nothing of it

If it wasn't for me you've never fallen into

the swimming pool in the first place

Thank you

I'm sorry I guess I shouldn't have done that

I just wanted to thank you

What you say is a sad story Vince

*** got both the girls in the house

Just one big and happy family

I know. What am I gonna do?

I don't know Vince

I *** you gonna do

I don't know, I'm asking you

I listen but...

I'm a lawyer not a marriage counselor

I'll drink to that

- Let's drink ***
- I'll drink to that

You know something pal?

What's about buddy?

I have discovered something very important

Hey Vince, tell me something


What is it you discovered so very important?

What's that?

Vince, you said you discovered something important

Oh yeah

I discovered that women are basically all alike

I have known that for years

and then they all got tits and pussy

There's more women than just tits and pussies, pal

You *** kinky I wanna guess

Take those two for example

Oh man if I do

So female

Why can't women be a little more like men, huh?

I don't know Vince


- Hey
- Yes, we are

Mind if we are joining you?

Hey, why? We found a ***?

Come on, sit down here

I couldn't help to hear your discussion about women

*** found it quite fascinating

Can we talk about you to ***?

That's right

Well, ***

Tell us something,

my buddy here says he thinks all women are

alike. What do you think about that?

Well, look around, I must guarantee there's not

another woman in the place like me, don't you think?


I could be wrong

Why don't you guys come over to our place

for a little adventure?

What do you say Vince?

Now, I have nothing to do

- This is the life, no?
- Yep

No worries at all

Yeah, no wife, no ex-wife

Pretty good, huh, Vince?

Oh yeah

Of course you know Gloria

is no slouch in the cocksucking

- ***
- That's true

What do you mean "that's true"? How would you know?

I *** *** before you did

Oh yeah, that's right

Ellen's pretty good too

That's right

How would you rate her on a scale of 1 to 10?

Hmm... I guess I'd say

about seven and three-quarters

Seven and three quarters, huh?

That's all?

That's as far as my measuring stick goes

Now boys, let's have some real fun

No way

- ***
- ***

I really appreciate... this... this...

It's ok, buddy?

You're in no condition to drive

Okay, *** in the couch. Bye

Hey hey hey, wait a minute

This is a three bedrooms house

Oh yeah, well...

Gloria and I sleep one of the bedrooms

You wouldn't want to sleep with Gloria

and me would you?

No offense pal, but I

have no desire to sleep with you

I've my son Mark, he's sleeping in the other bedroom

You wouldn't sleep with Mark, would you?

Not if there's any other choice

Well I have

You're forgetting something

Forgetting something, What I forget?

The third bedroom

Oh yeah, well, Ellen's sleeping in the third bedroom

Exactly it

No no, you can't sleep there

Why not? You've done a hundred times

She's my wife

That's ***

I happen to be a lawyer and she happens to be your ex-wife

and I guess they wouldn't hit fucking ex-wife

in a world that I have fucked 100

Okay you can sleep with Ellen

You can't fuck her

Why not?

I'm still in love with her

Yeah? I see

- And you can't fuck Gloria
- Why?

'Cause I'm in love with her

Alright that's okay pal, we got a deal

- Okay
- Okay

- Shhh



Gloria? Are you alright?

Oh I feel wonderful

Oh shit you haven't been taking

those tranquilizers again, have you?

I had to. I was too excited to sleep

You know how they affect you

"Excited". What do you mean "excited"?

About Ellen being here

Yeah well we'll talk about that in the morning

She saved my life

That's nice

I was going down for the third

time and then she pulled me out

And then we came up here and we both

went down three times

Good night Gloria

Good night sweetheart

Pills. Always taking pills

I'm sorry Mark, I didn't know my dad was

gonna be home tonight too

No, it's okay. It's better here anyway

we won't be interrupted

Just be real quiet

- I don't want to wake up anybody
- Ok

***, give me a break

Kick you pants off, come on

Hurry up, I'm all ready

Why you hurry, we've got all night

We do. Alright.

Come here

Do I look nice?

You like that?

I do some work?

Are you alright?

Yeah I just have to go to the bathroom

Are you back

Wait, I gotta go to bathroom first

What again?

You know how I am

Just remember where we left off, okay?

- Yeah right
- I'll be right back

Oh, what was that?

Hey I told you I remembered where we left off

You know Vince, I'm sorry about calling

this a little doodoo. Actually it's a very

nice big doodoo

Oh peace say Gloria... Stop wandering

around and come on back to bed


Ah, that's how I like it

It's great baby...

You're the best

Where have you been?

You won't believe me if I told you

What are you doing?

It's getting late, I've to go home

Oh ***

Oh I know...

We'll just have to do it some other time

Oh damn

Come on, I'll take you home

- Yeah, good morning
- Good morning

Hey Sugar

Why are you doing here? Where's Vince?

Vince just left for work

I feel so miserable Jerry

You shouldn't, baby. Take *** happy with that

I thought so too but I'm just kidding myself

He's a wonderful guy, he's a marvelous husband...

Hey you know something else: he's my best friend

But Jerry...

I don't love him... I love you, I should

have married you

Hey sweetheart, you didn't married me,

you married Vince. And you better get the

hell out of this room we'll talk about

this... ***... more rational moment

- Come on go out
- No

Rough night?

Huh yeah, what I can remember of it

Jerry's still upstairs in bed

Yeah, guess I'll let him sleep it off

He might be. Generous of you

Yeah look, I'm sorry about that

It was his idea

I wanted to sack out in the couch

I didn't even know he was in bed with me

Is Gloria up here?

Oh yes

Where's Mark?

Oh he left already

He said he had an appointment

I think he has a girlfriend


Just like old times, isn't it?

Not quite like old times, Vince

Back in those days we never knew where

our next meal was coming from

Yeah. We were happy

We were happy, don't we Ellen?

Yeah, I thought so

Where'd we go wrong?

We didn't go wrong. I was the one who went wrong

I was a bossy nagging wife

You are gonna tell me I'm wrong don't you?

No. You are bossy nagging wife

But it's what I needed

you gave me the boost that I needed Ellen

Yeah, I gave you a boost right into another woman's arms

I guess I hurt you more than I should have

Yeah, you shouldn't have hurt me so much

That's okay, I got over it

Did you?

You'd better go to work




Ellen, this is Vince

Ellen I don't... It's about time I started doing

things right

I love you and I want to marry you again

What the hell... I have something to say about this?

No. I mean, yes. I mean...

Well, what about Gloria?

Gloria doesn't love me

she loves Jerry. Always has.

And Jerry loves her

Well, why don't you come home?

We can talk about it then

Okay Baby


I think we're all gonna need the

services of a good attorney