Kuffs (1992) - full transcript

♪ I study nuclear science
I love my classes ♪

♪ I got a crazy teacher
he wears dark glasses ♪

♪ Things are goin' great ♪

♪ And they're only gettin' better ♪

♪ I'm doin' all right
gettin' good grades ♪

♪ The future's so bright ♪

♪ I gotta wear shades ♪

♪ I gotta wear shades ♪

♪ I got a job waitin' for my graduation ♪

♪ 50 thou a year will buy a lot of beer ♪

♪ Things are goin' great ♪



♪ And they're only gettin' better ♪

♪ I'm doin' all right
gettin' good grades ♪

♪ The future's so bright
I gotta wear shades ♪

♪ I gotta wear shades ♪

- George!

- Hey.

- George?

Oh, George?

♪ Well I'm heavenly
blessed and worldly wise ♪

♪ I'm a peeping tom
techie with X-ray eyes ♪

♪ Things are goin' great ♪

♪ And they're only gettin' better ♪

♪ I'm doin' all right
gettin' good grades ♪

♪ The future's so bright
I gotta wear shades ♪



♪ I gotta wear shades ♪

- George?

- Uh-huh.

- I'm pregnant, George.

- Are you sure?

- Yes.

- Oh.

Well, how long?

- Over two months.

- Wow, Maya pregnant.

Oh, God.

Oh, by the way, my name is George Kuffs.

I've known her for about six months.

I think I love her but, I mean, pregnant?

That means responsibility.

You know, I've got women to
do, places to see, you know?

You watch, her first words
when she comes back here,

what do you think, Georgie?

I'll tell you what I think.

I'm history, that's what I think!

I mean, I just got fired from my last job.

Now, if I'm on my own, that's fine.

But with a wife and a child,

that doesn't make too
much sense, now, does it?

I didn't even graduate high school,

and she's still in college.

How the hell would I support her, huh?

She definitely would be
better off without me.

- George?

Do you want something soft
and romantic or rock and roll?

- Mm, rock and roll, definitely.

- So, when I do leave her,
don't think I'm too big

of a cretin, OK?

OK.

- So, what do you think?

- About what?

♪ Yeah whizzing along at
twice the speed of sound ♪

♪ My mind's mach two before
I ever leave the ground ♪

♪ Altitude is high I just gotta go fast ♪

♪ I've got to find me a way
to make the feelin' last ♪

♪ There's only one thing
I need I need more speed ♪

- Come on!

We're outta here!

♪ I got the need for speed ♪

♪ I got the need for speed ♪

See ya next week.

♪ I got the need for speed ♪

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

- All right, hold it!

I said hold it!

You.

- I told you to stay out of this, cop!

Let's go, go!

- If we'd stop talking at once...

- Wait, wait, wait, wait
a minute, everybody!

Brad,

look, I have lived here for 30
years, and this is the worst

it has ever been.

- Just wait, this is
still a good district.

- I'm with you, Brad.

- Let's give ourselves a chance.

- We're doubling up on the shifts.

That should cut response
time even further.

And I'm trying to hire another guy.

- Howdy, nice to see you again.

You might be a little curious
about this Turkey here.

Then again you might not,
but I'm gonna tell you

about it anyway.

See this building right here?

It's my brother's business.

I haven't actually seen him for a while,

and today happens to be his birthday.

And turkey is his favorite
food, so, surprise, surprise,

I'm gonna cook this for him.

Then I'm gonna try and
squeeze him for another loan.

But let's keep that
between you and me for now.

That would be good.

Jesus.

No, no, no!

Hey, whoa, hey!

Hey!

Ah!

Uh.

Thank you!

Well, that's that.

Well, here they come.

- George.

- Happy Birthday, cheers.

- Oh, look.

- Yes.

- Thank you, all, thank you.

Thank you very much.

Oh, George.

- Yeah, nice, huh?

Well, I spent my last
dollar on that turkey.

So, happy birthday, Brad.

- George, what do you want, hmm?

- Oh, let's see, first of all,

are you aware of the
gold rush that's going on

over in Brazil?

- No, no, I wasn't aware of that.

But let me guess, if you
had the money, you would go.

- Absolutely, exactly, exactly.

All I need is four grand, and I'm history.

- Four grand?

- Yeah.

- Right.

- What, what's so funny?

- You.

- Well, here, make a wish.

- I'm sorry, George,
looks like I'm gonna have

to do my shift.

I tried to get hold of Bill.

It's his night off, I
don't know where he is.

- Take a look at this.

$50 million, huh? This is
what I'm talking about.

This is the kind of money
I can make in Brazil.

- Right.

- What about 2500?

- What about you work for me?

You could live with me, go to
the academy during the day,

patrol with me at night until
you finish the training.

- That's not exactly what
I have in mind, you know?

- I killed a guy in a holdup yesterday.

Last week, the leader of
his gang offered me a bribe.

He said it better than this,
but essentially he asked me

to look the other way while
he ripped up my district.

Now, something big is going down.

I don't know what it is.

You're my brother.

I'd kind of like you to get my back.

- Well, that's very nice of you, but,

I never really saw myself as a cop.

You know, I mean, I'm
more like the bad guys.

I don't like rules very
much, and this sounds like

a nine-to-five thing, you know?

I want the big score,
I want the brass ring,

the pot of gold, and then I wanna retire.

That's the American dream.

If I settle for nine-to-five
now, my life's over, that's it.

- I never thought of it that way.

I'll find somebody else.

- I promise, when I hit it
big, I'll retire you, OK?

- Hold the bus, hold the bus!

- Look, you are,

you are 21 years old, George,
30 comes awfully fast.

And if you are still loafing
around the world and bumming

money from me when you are 30 years old,

I'm gonna be awfully disappointed in you.

I always go in here
before I start my shift.

You want to come in?

- Maybe in a second, I
gotta make a phone call.

- Ah.

- Hey, Brad?

I'm sorry about some of the
things I said back there.

- Come on.

When I was 21, I probably
thought the same way.

I hope you get everything you want, kid.

I may even be able to give you some money.

- God bless you.

I'll pay you back.

- Right.

- He's a pretty cool guy, ain't he?

Yeah, after our parents
died, he got stuck with

the thankless job of
raising little ol' me.

I think he did a pretty good job myself.

Now, about Maya and me.

Maybe I should give her a call.

In my note, I told her she'd
be better off without me.

I don't know if that's so
true, I mean, I miss her.

- Amen.

- You should have taken the money.

- Brad?

- Help me, George.

Help me.

Sir, you can't be in here.

Sir, we're gonna have to open him.

You're going to have to wait outside.

- You George Kuffs?

I'm Captain Morino, San
Francisco PD, I'm in charge

of the Patrol Special.

Your brother's a friend of mine.

Based on your description, we believe

we've picked up the man who shot him.

I'd like you to come down to
the station with me and ID him.

- OK.

Why did you shoot my brother?

- Captain.

- Let's take the stairs, kid.

- Why did you shoot my brother?

- Piss off!

- You're going to jail!

- Kid, you don't know shit about shit!

- Hey, Stuart Burkis
is a thousand an hour.

What is he doing defending this guy Kane?

- I don't know.

- Well somebody ought to find out.

- Kuffs, Peter Coca, DA's Office.

- How's it going?

You ready?

- Sure, I've already identified

Kane once now, haven't I?

- Well, not officially, let's go.

- Yeah, that's him right there on the end.

You sure?

- Yeah, I'm sure.

- Captain, can I see you a minute?

- Sure.

- Wait a second, you didn't
see him pull the trigger?

- No.

- I can't hold him.

- What do you mean you can't hold him?

- Look, let me tell you
how it's gonna go down.

This guy Kane, he heard shots.

He runs to the front of the church.

He sees your brother lying there.

There's a gun, he picks it up.

You burst through the doors,
he thinks you're the gunman.

It's gonna come back...

- Wait, he thinks I'm the gunman?

- Let me finish!

He thought you were the gunman who was

gonna come back and kill him, so he ran.

That's if he admits he was in the church

in the first place, he hasn't.

The priest didn't see anything.

There's no corroborating witnesses.

There's no fingerprints on the gun.

It's your word against his.

- He's about to tell me
that the guy that just

shot my brother is gonna get away.

- He's the lawyer.

Would you excuse us, I want
to talk to Kuffs alone.

- He may be guilty, kid, but guilt's

what I can prove, I'm sorry.

- The hospital just called.

Brad's dead.

- Jeez.

Are you sure?

- Yeah.

I pulled your brother's file,
he left you his district.

That means that you now own the right,

along with the police,
to protect and serve

the citizens of District 33.

And you have the right to
solicit funds for those services.

You own Brad's district, you
can do what you want with it.

Rent it, lease it, sell it.

You don't have to tell
me right away, but soon.

I'm sorry.

He was a good man.

♪ Oh I ♪

♪ Gotta leave a little while ♪

♪ Don't ask me why ♪

- Hello?

♪ And I ♪

- Hello.

♪ I don't mean to make you cry ♪

- George.

George, is this you?

♪ There's a light shining bright ♪

♪ In my eyes tonight ♪

- George?

♪ But I still see your
face through the night ♪

- Look, George, if this is you,
I don't want to talk to you.

♪ I don't want to live without you ♪

- George, is this you?

♪ Oh no I won't walk away ♪

- Where are you?

- You OK?

George?

♪ No one could ever take your place ♪

- Well, broski, this is the
nicest spot I could find you.

I don't believe what happened.

They,

they caught the son of
a bitch that killed you.

Then they let him go.

I have no idea what to do about that.

I don't think I

ever really told you this
while you were alive, but

I love you.

- Excuse me, Mr. Kuffs?

They told me I'd find you
here, my name is Sam Jones.

- Hi.

- I know this might not be the right time,

and please don't think badly of me

but I understand your brother
left you his district.

- Yeah, he did.

- I want you to consider selling it to me.

Since you're not in the
field of law enforcement,

this could be a great
opportunity for both of us.

You to make some money, and me,

I get to put a good, strong
man in your brother's position.

I'll give you $100,000 now,

and $1000 a month for the next two years.

That's it, that's my spiel.

- Yeah, that,

sounds wonderful, but could you give me

some time to think it over?

- I wouldn't expect anything less.

Here's my card.

It has my home number on
there, call me anytime.

I'll be expecting your call.

Sorry about your brother.

Have a nice day.

- You sure have to make serious
choices in life, don't you?

- Patrol Special.

Hey, Harriet.

- Nikki, Mr. Brown is on line two.

- I'm busy.

- Not bad.

You're three weeks late again, Mr. Brown.

- Hiya kid, just the man I wanted to see.

Can I buy you a free cup of coffee?

- Show me the way, Bill.

- I'm not quite sure exactly
what's going on here.

- We should start talking
about how much you want

for the business.

I have a little saved up.

I can get some from my mother.

And I'm sure the bank
would lend me the rest.

- Well, that's very nice of you, Bill but,

believe it or not, I've
decided to take the job myself.

- Come again?

- I'm gonna be your boss, Bill.

- You're gonna what, kid?

He's a kid.

Even if he becomes a patrol special,

he doesn't have the
experience to run a district.

- Look, I do not want to hear
kid from this guy ever again.

I am not a kid!

- Calm down.

- Kid, kid, kid.

- Would you tell him that, please?

- He's not a kid.

- Brad said I could go
to the academy during

the day and patrol with somebody at night.

That's what I'm gonna do.

I spoke to the lawyer
from the DA's office.

He said the district's
mine, I'm taking it.

- Has he ever been convicted of a felony?

I'll bet he has.

- Shut up, Bill!

Have you?

- No.

- Did you graduate high school?

- Yes.

- You have to go through the academy.

- I know, I know.

- He's gonna have to get his hair cut,

put on a uniform and get
rid of that attitude!

- I'm only gonna stick around until

I clean up the neighborhood.

- Look, Kuffs...

- That's the least I
can do for my brother.

- Oh, goddamn it, why me?

Bill, this is his district.

There's nothing I can do about that.

- You think you've won, think again!

- Look, I understand how you feel.

Will you understand that I
don't want you here either?

Now, I heard about Sam Jones's offer.

If you don't want to sell to Bill, fine.

Take that, it's a great offer.

And you don't know what
you're getting into.

- Captain, trust me, I can handle this.

- Sure, and I just heard turds can fly.

Hear me.

The first time you screw up in any way,

or if I catch you going after Kane,

you're out of business.

Court is now in session.

- Well, it's good to know I
have a loyal support team.

What he doesn't realize is
the first time I screw up,

I'll probably be dead.

Oh, God!

Thank God this is only temporary.

Imagine getting up at 5:00 in the morning

for the rest of your life?

It's worse than nine-to-five.

At least I still have you.

Old reliable.

This is only part of it.

Wait until you see the
uniform, it's beautiful.

Well, what do you think, huh?

Even comes with the matching hat.

Feel like a dork.

- Let's go!

Come on!

Come on!

- Sir.

Why are we doing so much running?

Aren't we all going to be in cars?

- Move it, asshole, move it!

Move it, move it!

- This might have been a terrible mistake.

- Can I help you?

- Yeah, I'm looking for a really big gun

that holds a lot of bullets.

- God bless you, young man.

- I always wanted a gun.

- Is this what you had in mind?

It's a nine-millimeter Beretta.

15 in the clip, one in the pipe.

- Is there one that holds more?

- No.

- I'll take two.

- You probably won't hit anything,
that's what I'm here for.

- All right.

- Where'd you learn to shoot like that?

- Never shot a gun before in my life.

- You're a natural, kid.

- Really, is there such a thing as being

a natural at shooting?

- You betcha.

- You mean I have talent?

- At shooting.

Let's see if you can do that again.

Let me have another target.

- At the start of your
shift, you report here

and you sign the log book.

- Right.

- At the end of your shift, you come back

and you sign out, if you don't get killed.

- Hey, Nikki, did you happen
to get that address on Kane

I asked for?

- Oh yeah, here, it was in the book.

- Huh, killer in the phone book.

Never would've thought of that.

- I don't know if you
should go gunning for Kane

on your first night.

- I'm not gonna go gunning for him.

I'm just gonna swing by and see
what he's up to, that's all.

- It's out of our district, George.

- It's all right, I can
afford the gas, what's next?

- OK.

You read the reports of the day.

Then you check the teletype,
then the reports of incidents.

Any more...
- Kuffs!

This is Ted Bukovsky.

He'll be riding around with
you the next couple weeks.

Nikki, you can go home.

- Wait one minute, Nikki.

Captain?

Hey, may I talk to you for a moment?

- Sure.

- Now listen, you're really undermining

my confidence here, right in
front of one of my employees.

How the hell do you expect me to develop

leadership abilities and
learn how to make decisions

on my own if I have a chaperone
like Ted hanging around?

- Who gives a shit?

- Oh.

Well, I can't afford him.

I went through the books last night.

My brother was living month to
month, I'm almost broke here.

- No, I went through the
books too, you are broke.

A lot of people dropped the
service when you took over.

I figure you got a week
and a half, two weeks tops.

Then you're gone, you're
history, and no lawyer

in the world can help you.

Ted is here to keep you out of trouble

while you're among us.

- You must have messed up pretty bad

to deserve me, huh, Ted?

- Look, kid.

I'm a cop, OK?

Personally, I think you patrol specials

are door-rattling jokes.

Now, we can talk, we can
tell each other lies,

we might even become friends.

But in the next two
weeks, if you do anything

that makes me look bad,
I'll break you in half, OK?

- You get laid much, Ted?

- What do you mean?

- What do I mean?

Ted, before we go, I gotta run to

the toidey, I'll meet you back here.

- You...

Toidey?

- Well, I'm sure Ted is the
victim of an unhappy childhood,

and, some day, some
psychiatrist could release

the caring human that's
struggling to get out.

But right now, I don't have the time.

Could you please tell me where
the narcotics division is?

Thank you.

All right, all right, Doug,
I'll be honest with you.

Ever since my brother passed away,

I'm having a bit of trouble sleeping.

- Mm-hmm.

- Doug said half of one of
these would make you sleep.

Like you had a tit in your
mouth for eight hours.

I don't know.

Ted's a pretty big guy, isn't he?

Should I?

Yeah, sure.

Better to be safe.

Stir it up.

Hey Ted, I'm real sorry about what I said.

I got you a cup of coffee.

- Next time, shit before you sign in.

Shit, sign in, in the car!

- Am I gonna be tested on this later?

Maybe.

- You're not drinking your coffee.

- I don't like hot coffee,
I like cold coffee.

Turn right at the next street.

You have some customers
at the end of the block.

- That's the guy that shot my brother.

- Stop, stop, stop!

Look out, go!

Turn!

Turn, Turn!

Stop the car!

- We're gonna lose him!

- Are you crazy, stop the car!

Are you

trying to kill me?
- What are you so angry about?

All I wanted to do was follow the guy.

Did you see a

crime being committed?

Did you see a

crime being committed?

If we follow him, we will
see a

- crime being committed.
You are a

patrol special,
you don't go looking for a

crime,
if you happen to see a

crime being committed,
then you take action.

Otherwise, your

job is to service those
people who are stupid enough

to hire you to protect them.

And if I'm gonna get killed on this job,

it's gonna be by a

bullet, not by a

bus, now turn this

car around
and let's get back on your

Patron

- You have a limited vocabulary, Ted.

- Fuck you.

- If you liked those, stick
around, I got a hundred more.

- Come on, one of your
customers is getting robbed.

- I knew it, I knew it!

I told you this would happen.

I told you we should just follow Kane.

We'd have him right now.

- Stupid rookies, always
think you're gonna hit

the big score your first night, right?

- I'm a stupid rookie, how
much do you want to bet

it's Kane, how much you wanna bet?

- A billion dollars.

- Fine.

- Get out, get out of my
store, look at my store!

You can't protect me!

- Calm down, sir.
- You're shit,

your brother was good,
- Thank you.

- But you shit!

- Calm down, we'll be right back.

- Thank you, Mr. Chang.
- Get out of my store!

- Well Ted, I told you, four
guys in a green station wagon.

You owe me a billion dollars.

- Where you going, George?
- I'm gonna go get Kane.

- I can't let you do that.

- Well, try and stop me.

- Now calm down, we're gonna
take this guy's statement

and write up a report, OK?

- You leave me no choice, Ted.

- I'm gonna have to
hurt you no, that's it.

- Oh, man.

- I mean, come on, don't you
see that getting Kane would

be as good for you as it would for me?

I guess you don't.

- You're pretty good at this.

- Thank you.

Do you give up?

Look, you don't have to come with me.

Just say I ditched you, I'll
give you money for a cab.

- I can't.

Shit.

- What the hell is going
on around here, Bukovsky?

- Just investigating an armed robbery.

Same as you, Sergeant.

- Is he a suspect?

- No, we were just

trying to decide who's gonna write up

the report, that's all.

- Hey, don't try and
dick me around, Bukovsky.

You're already on probation.

I'll run your ass in for
assaulting another officer.

Now, did he start the fight?

- Officer Bukovsky was

just being kind enough to
show me some moves I missed

during self-defense class.

- You're the new patrol
special, aren't you?

- Yeah.

- Word to the wise, kid.

Your brother was a good man,
don't cock up his memory.

- Let's check the damage inside.

- George.

I'm sorry about your brother.

Hey.

I bet you I know where
this Kane guy lives.

Is that him?

Yeah.

- Good.

Now we know he's home,
let's get outta here.

- No, come on, he's up
there with his gang.

Five more minutes.

Now!

- Wait one second.

Huh.

- You were right.

He was up there with his gang.

I think you saw someone else
in the green station wagon.

- What could they possibly see

in a man that dresses that badly?

They have to be his alibi,
that's the only explanation.

- You're not gonna follow him.

I think we should follow the cab.

- What do you think he's
doing in a Chinese laundry

this time of night?

- You saw his gang.

He needs clean sheets.

- Oh yeah, Tedster, I
meant to ask you before.

What are you on probation for, anyway?

- Moral turpitude.

- Moral turpitude?

What'd you do, sleep with the
Captain's wife or something?

- No.

The Chief's.

- That's cool.

- I didn't know she was the Chief's wife.

I picked her up in the
supermarket, in the frozen foods.

- Hmm.

Is she,

Is she pretty?

- She's great.

She's a lot younger than the Chief.

- That's great, way to go, Tedster.

What the hell has he got there?

- A tube of clothing.

Look,

you wanted to go to his house, we did.

You wanted to follow him, we did.

This guy's not happening,
George, let's get back to work.

- Uh, what was in that cup?

- Coffee.

- Yeah, where'd you get it?

- You gave it to me.

- Right.

Car One, this
is control, do you copy?

- It's for you.

Car One, this is control.

- Answer it.

Go ahead.

Car One, this is control.

- Hello?

Car One, we have
an emergency at 342 Kearney.

There's a jumper on the fifth floor.

George, you're all I've got,
this is a customer call.

The jumper is on the ledge.

- Shit, did you see that?
- What?

- It's Sam Jones.
- Who?

- Sam Jones, come on, come on!
- George!

George, do you copy?

George. Wait, George!

Advisory
for Bart passengers.

- Who's Sam Jones?

No smoking,
eating or drinking is permitted

once you have entered the gates.

Thank you for keeping BART safe and clean.

- Watch out, there he is.

Next
Concord-bound train will arrive

at Montgomery Street in two minutes.

Embarcadero train
approaching Montgomery Street

in two minutes.

- Whoo!

OK.

Attention, please.

Will Ms. Wills please
contact the station agent

at extension 4123.

- What the hell you
think's in that tube, huh?

Ted?

Next
Concord-bound train will arrive

at MacArthur in two minutes.

- Ted?

George, are
you there, do you copy?

Stop it, I'm all right!

Are you sure?

- Yes.

Where in the hell did you go?

- We're on our way.

- No, we gotta go to the laundry.

- We're going to the jumper,
you need a search warrant

for the Chinese laundry.

Move it.

Move it!

I'm all right!

Stop looking at me.

Stop looking at me, I'm OK, It's just

something I ate or stress.

- Ted, Ted, Ted?

Oh, shit.

Ah Ted, Jesus, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about the
coffee, all right, man?

I didn't know you'd turn
out to be such a nice guy!

Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, wake up, come on, Ted.

I don't know what the
hell to do with a jumper!

Ted, Ted!

Ted, come on, don't snore, Ted, come on.

Come Ted, wake up, wake up
buddy, come on, I need your help.

- Come on, Come on, come on!

- Come on, wake up, Ted, wake up.

Uh, why don't you stay
with the radio, Ted?

He's gonna stay with the radio.

It's very helpful in this sort of case.

- You see that, you see that?

I want you to get that son of a bitch

off my building right now.

- Maybe we should wait for the police?

- But you are the police,
what the hell you think

I'm paying you for, come on!

- He's awfully high up there.
I mean, how'd he get up there?

Don't you lock your building at night?

- Kuffs?

- Maya.

- What are you doing here, I
thought you were in Brazil.

- Uh, well, I...

- Where are you going?

- Oh, you remember Robert?

- Hi.

- Yeah.

- Come on, he's gonna jump.

Come on, it's bad luck
if he jumps, come on.

- Wait a minute, are you a cop now?

- I'll talk to you in a second, OK?

- What the hell took you so long?

I've been waitin' all night.

OK, now, he's down here.

- Did you see that?

Maya with Robert, I don't
get it, she left him for me.

- Come on, come on.

- Maybe they're just friends.

Then again, maybe they're not.

You think he's better looking than I am?

- Come on!

OK, now he's out there.

Now go ahead and do your stuff, go ahead.

- Howdy.

Pretty nice view you have here.

Would you mind coming on
back inside here, please?

Please?

He doesn't want to come in.

- What do you mean he
doesn't want to come in?

- Look, this is my first day on the job.

I have no idea what to say
to a potential suicide.

- It's simple, Sonny.

Now, you want to keep your business?

Now, you get him in here,
or you don't get paid.

Go ahead.

- Hey, asshole!

Yes you, look, if you're gonna jump, jump.

Otherwise, use the bridge
like everybody else.

You're screwing up traffic down there.

- Say, are you crazy?

- How'd I do?
- What do you mean?

That's all I could think of.

- What do you mean that's
all you could think of?

- It's the best I can do.

You gotta
do better than that.

- Ooh, ooh, he's coming in.

He's coming in!

- Is he?

- I'll be a son of a bitch, it worked.

- Of course it worked, let's
stand back and give the guy

some room here.

I knew it was gonna
work, I'm a professional.

Let's get him a chair.

- You, cop!

- Hey.

- Die!

- Maya Carlton?

Yeah.

Hi.

- Hi.

- I just came to see
if you were all right.

I've really got to go.

- Wait a second.

I want to apologize to you about my note.

That was not good.

- No, it wasn't.

- You,

You look amazing.

- You know, when I saw you
coming down on that stretcher,

I almost died.

Was that you on the phone?

- Yeah, yeah, that was me.

- George, George, come on!

You're getting a hard-on.

- I can't help it, it's you.

- No, it's you.

- Yeah.

Look, what are you doing
with this Robbie character?

- Kuffs, come on, you left me.

- Yeah, right.

Does he,

does he know about the child?

- You know, I don't need
Robert and I don't need you.

I've got to go.

I just wanted to see
if you were all right.

Take care of yourself.

- Women.

Well, Captain Morino wouldn't give me

the search warrant for the laundry.

Ted got suspended.

He doesn't know that
yet, he's still asleep.

I don't know, maybe it's
just the post-gunshot blues,

but I'm beginning to
feel like I'm not exactly

cut out for this line of work, you know?

Want to see what a
gunshot wound looks like?

Gotta say my point of
view on guns has changed.

Do cause quite a bit of pain.

See, the bullet went in here
and then it came out the back.

You feel it hit, and then there's this,

this kind of a sharp pain.

And then it goes numb.

Yeah.

Scarier than shit.

Now, the guy who jumped, he was a writer.

Tried to kill himself twice before.

I don't know.

I know Kane killed my brother.

I know Sam Jones is in it with him.

What the hell can I do about it?

I don't have any money.

In two weeks, I'm probably
gonna lose the business anyway.

There's this $50,000
balloon payment due on

change of ownership that Captain
Morino hasn't spotted yet.

That's it, that's it, I'm doomed.

If you're not the cleaning lady,

you're in the wrong apartment.

- I've come to make peace, Mr. Kuffs.

I'm sorry you think I killed your brother.

I didn't, but I do represent
certain business interests

in your district.

There's a $25,000 down
payment for your services.

Most of the time, all we'll ask you to do

is look the other way.

You took your brother's job, Mr. Kuffs.

You could have a future here.

Then again, you might not.

- I think I like having a future.

- Thank you, Lee.

- Aah, we're gonna die, Sam!

Oh, I scared you, didn't I?

- You're in big trouble, kid.

- You know Sam, I gotta tell ya.

I was pretty set to quit
the business this morning.

Then your little buddy, Kane, dropped by,

offered me a bribe, $25,000
to look the other way

while you tear up my district.

I asked for 50, we settled on 37,5,

I think I did pretty good
myself, what do you think?

- Captain Morino, please, it's
Sam Jones, it's an emergency.

- Police, I'd better talk fast, huh?

You're into a land-grab scam, Sam.

Now, the problem is, you're greedy!

You don't want to pay top
dollar, and people don't actually

want to sell to you.

So you use Kane and his hoods to come in,

shake everybody up, and then
you come in like a savior

with bags of money and
buy everything up, right?

See, I did a little research on you.

You're a big shot art
collector, a major player

on the charity circuit.

You're rich, so you think
you're above the law.

But you've made two mistakes now, Sam.

Number one, you had Kane kill my brother.

Number two, the land
you're grabbing happens

to be in my district.

And in my district, Sambo, I am the law.

- Captain Morino.

Yes, one of your patrol
specials just broke into my car

and is threatening me.

George Kuffs.

He wants to talk to you.

Nah, I don't think so.

It's just you and me, Sam,
no corroborating witnesses.

Your word against mine.

You can pull over right here, huh?

I'll walk the rest of the way.

- I wish there were something
I could say, Mr. Kuffs,

to make you feel better about yourself.

- I guess you could tell
me you're gonna leave town

For about two or 300 years.

That'd make me feel a little better.

Thank you.

Oh, God, that felt good!

I almost told him I knew about
him and Kane and the laundry.

What if there were drugs
in that tube or something?

What he doesn't know I know can hurt him,

so why the hell should I tell him, huh?

Yeah, you see, this way
I can stake him and Kane

out with my team.

I can catch them both red-handed!

I like it, it sounds good.

Harriet, guess what I have in the bag?

- Captain Morino wants you
to call him right away.

He sounded really pissed off.

- Yeah, in a minute.

Hey, guys, what's going on?

- Nothing personal, George,

but we all decided we
don't want you as our boss.

- Well, this is a first,
the boss being fired

by his own employees.

Tell me, Bill, who do
you think should be boss,

my little friend?

- Me.

- Nothing personal,
Bill, but, you're fired.

- You can't fire me, these people want me.

- We're not saying you
can't own the business,

we're saying find somebody
else with experience to run it!

- Is that what you're saying?
- That's right.

- Well, listen, since
I have taken this job,

I've been shouted at, I've been bribed,

I've even been shot for you people!

And now you're telling me
you don't believe in me?

All right, listen, this is
what we're gonna do, OK?

If Bill beats me in a fair
fight, right here, right now,

not only can Bill be boss,

I'll give you the business for free.

What do you say?

- You're not serious?

- Yeah, I am.

But I gotta warn you, I'm pretty good.

So if I win, I'm boss.

If I say jump, your
only answer is how high.

- You're on.

- Come on, Bill.

He was golden glove champion
twice, George, forget it.

- Hey, a deal's a deal,
you can't back out now.

- All right, just make it quick, Bill.

- You won't feel a thing.

- Thank you.

- Ooh!

- I win!

Why didn't I think of
that last night with Ted?

- OK, that'll be $113.65.

- All right.

- And, what would you
like the card to say?

- Ah, dear Maya, it was great
seeing you the other night.

Love and kisses on all
your pink parts, George.

I guess you hear that
all the time, don't you?

Come in, George.

- Excuse me.

- Yeah, yeah, come in, 10-4.

I got Bill on the line,

and Captain Morino's called twice more.

You better call him
soon, now, here's Bill.

- Just checkin' in, boss.

Sam Jones got home 15 minutes ago.

Hasn't moved since.

- All right, why don't
you just call me back

in about a half hour, huh?

May I ask you a personal question?

Sure.

- Have you ever been married?

- Goin' on 18 years.

- 18 years, jeez!

What's it like, is it still
fun, you still like her?

- Him.

- Oh.

- Yeah, it's great, it has
its ups and downs of course,

but it's great.

- Thank you.

- Sure.

Have a nice day.

- You too.

When do you think she'll get these?

- Well, I'll call Sacramento right away.

Say, by 2:00?

George, are you there?

- I think I want to change the card.

Yeah, come in.

- I lost Kane.

He turned a corner and
I turned the corner,

and he just wasn't there.

I'm sorry, George, I'm
not very good at this.

- That's quite all right, Nikki.

I think I have a good idea where he's going.

Why don't you go hang out by
the laundry or something, huh?

- Hey, wait!

Weren't you gonna change the card?

- Right, right.

Dear Maya, I really, really miss you.

Would love it if you came to San Francisco

tonight for dinner.

But even if you can't, I'd
still love to talk to you.

Love, George.

- Better, much better.

- Yeah, I think so.

- I am not interested
in selling at any price!

I understand
your store was robbed.

- Well, well, well, Kane.

I should know you'd be standing right next

to the toilet paper.

- What are you doing here?

I fired you!

- I know you fired me, but
you paid up through next week,

so here I am.

May I speak to you for a moment, please?

Come on, come on!

Look, before we get into
this, there's something

I've been meaning to ask you.

It's been bothering me
for quite some time now.

Where do you buy your clothing?

- What are you doing?

- What am I doing, my job.

See, I just overheard you
asking Mr. Chang over there

to sell his business.

He said he didn't want
to, but you persisted.

So as much as I like you, Kane,

I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

- We had a deal, kid, I
paid you this morning.

- Absolutely, absolutely, you hired me

to protect your interests,
and I fully intend to do that.

You see, I also have
a deal with Mr. Chang.

And right now, you're on his property.

That's why I have to ask you to leave.

- Don't mess with me, kid.

- You see, if Mr. Chang
were on your property,

and he was leaning on
you, I'd ask him to leave.

And then, if he didn't do it fast enough,

I'd pull my gun out of
its holster just like this

and I would shout, do
we have an understanding

or do you want to see if you can breathe

through your forehead?

But I don't have to do
that with you, right Kane,

because we're pals, aren't we?

- You might not live to regret this.

- I've lived to regret
almost everything I've done.

See ya.

- You are going to get us all killed.

- I hope not.

Think positive, Mr. Chang,
maybe we'll get lucky and win.

- He said he was going home.

But if he's there, he's
not answering his phone.

- Try him again.

- Hey, well Maya's coming to dinner.

I guess the flowers worked, huh?

Now get out of my bathroom.

- Where's he staying?

- Brad's apartment.

- If the son of a bitch calls in,

you tell him to meet me there and to cease

and desist all operations.

- You tell him.

You tell him there's a
$50,000 balloon payment due

on the change of ownership
and that his banker,

Mr. Alan Eddy, wants it
today or he's no longer

a patrol special.

- What you're doing is shitty!

♪ Dancin' ♪

♪ Like the floor's on fire ♪

♪ And we're never touching the ground ♪

♪ Well she lifts me ♪

♪ A little bit higher ♪

♪ And our love well
there's no comin' down ♪

♪ She'll be runnin' red hot ♪

♪ I can't put out the flame ♪

♪ She tears me up like a hurricane ♪

♪ She's a roller coaster ♪

♪ She's a tidal wave ♪

♪ She takes my breath away ♪

♪ Well she takes well she takes ♪

♪ Takes my breath takes my breath ♪

♪ Every time she moves that way ♪

♪ All my words all my words ♪

♪ Hard to say hard to say ♪

♪ Oh she takes my breath away ♪

♪ Watch out she's like dynamite ♪

♪ And she could go off anytime ♪

- Perfect.

♪ Fascination ♪

♪ Stimulation ♪

- What do you think, too subtle?

♪ Now she's got me so hypnotized ♪

♪ She takes my breath away ♪

♪ Hey hey hey ♪

- Showtime.

Well, she's early, that's a good sign.

I know it's tacky to answer
the door half-dressed,

but that's me!

Gun, gun, gun, geez!

Shit!

Geez!

Huh.

It's on the fridge.

Uh!

You lookin' for me?

It's Maya!

How's it goin'?

- Hi, George, you remember my parents?

They just came in for the opera.

- Oh, yeah, of course,
Mrs. Carlton, Mr. Carlton.

- Dr. Carlton.

- Right, right, Dr. Carlton.

- Aren't you gonna invite us in?

- Uh, sure.

Just a sec.

Jesus.

I'm not having too much
luck with turkeys now, am I?

Shit.

Do you believe this?

Maybe we could just go out
for drinks or something?

- You and I have got to have a talk.

- Well, let me throw a shirt on.

- What happened here?

- Ah, termites.

- What's this?

Is he dead?

- God, I hope so.

- Well...

What a lovely apartment you have here.

- Why don't you guys
go to the back bedroom?

I think that'd be a good idea.

Come on, keep moving.

- Where's the bathroom?

- Straight back, straight back.

Bedroom's to the right.

Raise the toilet seat.

Go.

Freeze, assholes!

Geez.

I'm sorry.

- That's your banker.

No.

Be careful, please.

- Hey, I'm real sorry about your tongue,

but I didn't know it was you guys.

- No, no, no, you were great!

You scared the shit out of me!

And you killed the guy who
was trying to kill you!

I think we got a good man here, Captain.

I think you're gonna make
a great patrol special.

- What about the money he owes you?

This is not what he does.

He's not a patrol
special, he's a screw-up.

He got lucky.

- Hold it, Captain Morino.

Mr. Kuffs here, he just offered
me a $10,000 down payment

on that loan.

And we have a saying in
the banking business.

Never trust a bald barber.

He has no respect for your hair.

Good night, gentlemen.

- A strange little guy,
but I think I like him.

Now, if you could just
get me the search warrant

for Mr. Wang's laundry.

It just so happens that
it's closed tomorrow.

And then you could reinstate Ted.

I think everything would be back to neat.

- Can't reinstate Ted.

The Chief's wife just moved in with him.

I'll see what I can do about the laundry.

Not on the seat, dear.

- Jesus.

Bye, now, you call me.

Hi.

Hi.

I was cooking us a turkey.

- Yeah, I know, I saw the black sheets.

What do you want to do tonight, George?

- Whatever you want to do.

- All right.

Let's do something that we've never done.

- Yeah?

Yeah.

- Tattoos, huh?

It's not exactly what I expected.

When you said you wanted
to do something we'd never

done before, I thought it'd be more along

the sexual line, you know?

- Let me see it, can I see it?

- You want to see it?

- Yeah.
- All right.

- Yes.

- Oh!
- Kind of painful.

- It's so cute.

It's really sexy, I'm telling you, it is.

- Sexy?

- Yeah.

♪ I don't wanna live without you ♪

- Let me see yours.

♪ I won't walk away ♪

- See it?

You like it?

- It's very cute.

It's beautiful.

♪ No one could ever take your place ♪

♪ There's a road ♪

♪ A road I've got to take ♪

♪ Don't ask me why ♪

♪ Some day ♪

♪ It'll all be worth the wait ♪

♪ I know ♪

- I love you, George.

But I guess you have your
life to live and I have mine.

- I,

I love you too.

♪ I don't want to live without you ♪

- You're gonna have to make
up your mind someday, George.

♪ I won't walk away ♪

♪ I don't want to live without you ♪

♪ I don't want to live without you ♪

♪ No one could ever take your place ♪

- We're all here to sign up.

- All right.

- Good work last night.

- Thank you.

- George?

George.

They got here about five minutes ago.

Wonderful, what do they want?

- I have no idea.

Well, did Captain Morino get

the search warrant for
the Chinese laundry?

- No, not yet.

- All right, have a doughnut.

Hey, Sammy!

Bet you wish I were dead, don't you?

Officer Favaro, would
you excuse us for a minute?

- Yeah, we'd like to be alone.

- I usually don't do these things myself.

But since you broke into my car yesterday,

I knew you had to be stopped.

- I really don't think you're
the man for that job, Sammy.

Talk to me, Sam.

- This is your transcript
from Fremont High School

in Modesto, California.

You went to Fremont, didn't you?

- Maybe.

- Maybe?

It says here you dropped
out in the 10th grade.

Did you drop out in the 10th grade?

To be a patrol special, you have to have

a high school diploma.

You don't have a high
school diploma, do you?

- No.

- You lied on your
application, defrauded the city

of San Francisco, and officer
Favaro's here to arrest you.

You're out of here, kid.

And I get your district anyway,

and it doesn't cost me $100,000.

It'll be nice to own my own police force.

Amazing, the power of a piece of paper.

Officer Favaro?

You didn't really think you
could beat me, did you, kid?

Bye.

- Sorry, George.

- It's unbelievable, Sam
Jones is gonna get away

with everything because I
didn't finish high school?

Before we go up, I have
to go to the bathroom.

- No, George.
- Come on, give me a break.

- No, no, no!

- It's not like I'm a mass murderer, OK?

I lied on a stupid
application, that's all.

Please?

- I don't know why I'm doing this.

I don't know why I'm doing this.

- God bless you.

- You got one minute.

- It's number two, Favaro.

Would you give me a break, please?

Thank you.

I've escaped!

- Hey, Doug, I've got another problem.

- Mm-hmm.

- Well, this here is Thunder.

Doug loaned him to me.

If it's illegal, supposedly
Thunder can smell it, right?

Now, we're gonna go into the laundry,

but first we're gonna stop by Ted's,

see if he wants to join us, all right?

No way, George.

Look, I
promise, I'll never ask you

for another thing as long as I live.

- No, George, I'm not interested.

- Come on, Ted.

Oh, is that the Chief's wife?

Yeah, she moved in right after you

almost poisoned me.

- And there you have it, so you owe me.

- What's that?

Come on, Ted, open the door.

- The last time I owed you a
favor, you almost killed me.

Look, I just
want you there at my back.

If Sam Jones gets away with
this, I lose everything.

No.

I can still see you.

Come on, Ted.

All right, Ted.

Thanks a lot!

Look, if something
happens to me, you know,

I don't want you to feel
bad or anything, OK?

I mean, if I get killed or something,

it's not gonna be your fault, that I was

there all alone, all right?

Heh.

- This better be good, Favaro.

I was only six over par
going into the back nine.

- Narcotics gave him a gun and a dog,

and then he disappeared.

- Shit!

You gotta admit the kid's got balls.

Stake out the laundry.

My bet, that's where he's headed.

- Yes, sir.
- Hey.

Just a second, Favaro.

What if Sam Jones is a crook?

Let's give Kuffs a couple of
hours, see what he turns up.

It might be good for all of us.

- Yes, sir.

- All right, Thunder, we're
looking for something illegal.

I'll let you have the honor.

Hey, there you go!

Having fun?

Here I come.

That wasn't bad.

- Yeah?

- Everything's set, I'll
meet you at the laundry.

- What do you think, here?

Anything?

Nothing.

All right.

Come on.

All right, look, let me just explain

to you one more time, one more time, OK?

We're looking for something illegal.

What about hanging clothes?

Wanna smell some hanging clothes, huh?

Come on.

What about over here, come on.

Can you smell anything yet?

Did you find something back there?

What is it?

Oh!

What the hell is this?

Do you believe this stuff
is worth $50 million?

It doesn't even come with a frame!

Just getting it for you.

How are you, Sammy?

Thanks for the warning.

Sic 'em, come on!

- You've meddled in my business

for the last time, Mr. Kuffs.

- I just figured out what
you've been up to, Sammy.

All this time, I thought it was drugs,

but no, you're selling stolen art.

And kicking good people
out of their homes.

That's not good, I'm gonna have to arrest

all of you now, come on.

- I don't think so.

Hold him.

- What, no designated
hitter, I'm impressed!

- Kane was my best friend.

We grew up together, we had a dream.

We were gonna change this town together.

And then you came along and killed him.

I hate you for that.

- I'm not too happy about
what he did to my brother.

Why don't we call it even?

- Hey!

Get him off those paintings.

- Come on, come on, come on, come on,

please, not today, let's go!

Come on.

- Honey?

Sweetheart, I made you a list.

- Another one?

- You're out of everything, even Windex.

- Thanks.

Aah!

- Why don't you take mine?

- It's the Chief's car.

- It's half mine.

- That's funny.

See ya.

Come on, please.

- I'm thinking!

I hate you, George Kuffs.

- George!

- George!

- George?

- George?

George?

George!

- George?

George?

- George!

I knew I heard a dog.

What?

- What?

What?

- Bomb!

You all right?

Yeah, good boy.

- Oh, my God, my God,
my God, look at the car.

Look at the car, it's on fire.

Oh, my God, oh, my God!

- We gotta go.
- It's on fire.

The car's melting!
- Sam's getting away.

- Oh Jesus God,

I can't believe this.
- We gotta go, Ted!

I know where he's going.

- It's melting!

- One day you'll look back on
this and have a good chuckle

about it, man.

- It's the Chief's car!

- Ooh.

Taxi!

Come on, come on, let's go get Sam.

- What?

He was?

With a dog?

Hold on a second.

This is Mr. Brown.

He said he just saw George and
another guy and a dog getting

into a cab, in front of Wang's laundry,

just after it blew up.

- Ask him what kind of
a cab George got into

and tell him he's late with his payment.

Oh, and ask him, how's the dog.

- Hello.

- Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.

- I'm sorry about the car, Ted.

- Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.

- By the way, do you have a gun?

- Of course I don't have
a gun, I'm on suspension.

Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.

- I hate to say it, but I
don't have a gun either.

- You weren't prepared for this, were you?

- Mmm.

Yeah, gimme that 12-gauge.

Two boxes of double aught.

- Let me have two
nine-millimeters and a couple

boxes of shells.

- How many guys are gonna be there?

- At least four, and Sammy.

- Give me that .44 Magnum and a Sig .226

- You think I could have one of these

12-gauges also, please?

- Is this gonna be cash
or charge, officers?

- I'll pay you back.

- You have no conception
of what you owe me.

- Can we return these when we're done?

Nah, I didn't think so.

Let's take it out of
the billion you owe me.

- Kuffs and Bukovsky just
bought a shitload of guns

over at Bradford's.

- The Chief waited six
months for this car.

I screwed up big time here, Favaro.

Put out an APB for 'em.

Your money's in the briefcase.

- Can't come up here,
buddy, we're repaving.

- Hi, there.

Why don't you turn around and
keep your hands on your head?

You got any rope?

Tape?

OK, let's go.

- Why don't you wait for us
here, we shouldn't be too long.

Hey, yo!

- He's obviously a lot
smarter than we are.

How do you
load one of these things?

What?

How do you load one of these...

I heard you!

You take the shells and
you put 'em in here.

When you've got in as many as you can,

you cock it back to fire.

Like this?

Ssh.

- It's OK.

- Pleasure doing business
with you, Mr. Ikawa.

Van's on me.

- Thank you.

- Hey!

Sammy, how are you?

- God must love fools.

- Everyone keep their
hands where I can see 'em.

- All right, now I hate to repeat myself,

but you're all under arrest.

Now, come up from around the cars there

and lay down on the ground or something.

- Yeah, that's good.

- That's a 12-gauge pump, boys,
it's only got three shots.

He can't get us all!

- Well,

now we know he can add
and he can subtract.

So, who wants to be next here?

- There's a shoot-out on top of

a parking structure on Powell.

They think Kuffs and Bukovsky.

- Shit, why me?

- He's in the elevator, I'm
gonna cut him off, cover me!

- Wait a minute, wait!

- You call that coverage?

- You didn't wait for me.

- All right, he's gettin' away.

This time cover me, OK?

- This time, run!

- OK go!

- You sure?

Go!

- Damn!

- You don't stand a chance, guys!

Drop your weapons and come
out with your hands up!

Jesus!

- How the hell did you guys find us?

- Cab company.

- Flyin' through the air, super baby!

Whoo, whoo.

Look at that little face, hello!

What beautiful eyes.

Rockette.

Well, obviously, I never
actually made it to Brazil.

Ted and the Chief's wife
decided to go instead.

Yeah, the Chief was pretty angry

about his car, now, wasn't he?

What'd he do to Teddy, he
went, bing, bing, bing!

Yes, he did.

Yeah, I decided to stay in
San Francisco and marry Maya.

I really loved her all along, you know.

See, this is our daughter, Sarah.

Say hi to the folks right there, Sarah.

Hello-bee, hello.

- I thought you were giving her her bath.

- No, we were waiting for you.

- Oh, come on, Sarah, Daddy's a big silly.

- Come on.
- There she goes.

- Oh, my pretty baby.

Come on, let's go take a bath.

Let's go take a bath, Sarah, come on!

Bah-dah-bum.

My piglet, are you mommy's girl?

- My life!

Well, she came up with
the idea of me taking

the high school equivalency exam.

So I could keep the business.

Believe it or not, I
actually passed the thing.

And then we decided to expand.

So we borrowed a little bit
of money from her parents

and bought a whole 'nother district.

Yeah, she's a clever girl.

Women, if it weren't for them,
there'd be no civilization.

See ya!

♪ I don't want to live without you ♪

♪ Oh no I won't walk away ♪

♪ I don't want to live without you ♪

♪ No one could ever take your place ♪

♪ There's a road ♪

♪ A road I've got to take ♪

♪ Don't ask me why ♪

♪ Some day ♪

♪ It'll all be worth the wait ♪

♪ My love ♪

♪ Now I'm caught in the fire ♪

♪ And I'm too hot to hold ♪

♪ But I won't leave you out ♪

♪ In the cold hey ♪

♪ I don't want to live without you ♪

♪ Oh no I won't walk away ♪

♪ I don't want to live without you ♪

♪ No one could ever take your place ♪

♪ I don't want to live without you ♪

♪ Oh no I won't walk away ♪

♪ I don't want to live without you ♪

♪ No one could ever take your place ♪

♪ I don't want to live without you ♪

♪ Nobody nobody ♪

♪ I won't walk away ♪

♪ I don't want to live without you ♪

♪ No one could ever take ♪