Krieg der Töne (1988) - full transcript
In my country we say that whoever
calls the tune is unlucky in love.
Your little daughter isn't that old,
is she?
No, thank God!
Ino is practicing for the
competition.
And she is going to win.
Well, the best of luck to her.
I have an appointment with them now.
Ah, you work for Super-Sound?
Yes, I play the Super-bass for
them.
Could you not put in a good word
for little Ino?
I don't even know your daughter yet.
Yes, you really must meet her.
Ino is very talented.
Well, if I don't get on with this now,
they'll deduct the time from my wages.
How much do you charge?
For what?
Give Ino a chance.
Give her piano lessons.
But I'm a bass-player.
But not only!
Well...
See. Do you agree to
80 marks an hour'?
The last one only got 50 and he
was from the Conservatory.
Susi...
I don't give a damn what those
children play
as long as its classical and brilliant.
Klaus suggested that we have the
children wearing wigs like Mozart
What do you think?
That's a great idea. Simply fantastic.
But only if your guys
get a crew cut.
Susi... I have to talk to you!
Have you finished?
Come into my office, please.
Good afternoon!
Professor Czukay. Please excuse
me for being so late.
Why didn't you ring the door'?
Ino! Ino! Where are you'?
Professor Czukay is here.
Hey, are you deaf? Come on, Ino!
Look at you! Come along now.
And behave yourself!
Doesn't look like a piano teacher.
I'm not one either.
Can I offer you some tea or
coffee. Or brandy perhaps?
I'd like a cocoa please.
You like cocoa too, don't you?
No.
Well, play it then.
Play what?
No cocoa.
That's impossible!
You're to play no cocoa in D minor.
That's impossible!
It's possible!
It's impossible!
It's possible!
How?
Imagine the cocoa beans are notes
swimming in the milk.
Then you can play it for me.
You.
You what?
You play me something.
Me?
No, that's no good.
Come and sit down.
We'll start at the beginning.
What do you know about Mozart?
That I have to play in a
competition because of him.
Is that all?
Well, what do you know about the
tones?
Tones?
Yes, tones.
Sounds probably Chinese.
Swing. The lovely word means:
the maximum credit curve
allocated in a bilaterally calculated
reciprocal contract
between two countries.
Write that down, please!
So what does swing mean, Ino?
I have to go to the loo.
It's nothing to do with you
personally.
You know that I'm on your side.
But the business has totally
changed.
You too.
It's not up to me.
This studio is expensive and
if I'm not successful fast,
somebody else will be sitting in
my chair tomorrow.
That would be terrible.
Yet I like being here.
You wouldn't understand that
anyway.
All right.
Keep in touch!
Ino? Is that you'?
Where have you been hiding?
Do you know what time it is?
I would have rung the police in
another half hour.
You have a piano lesson now. My
God, what have you been doing?
Where is your school bag? Hug?
I'm asking you where
your school bag is?
I forgot it, I guess.
Forgot it? Where have you been?
Tell me immediately.
On a steamer.
I'm so glad that you're here.
I think Ino is at that age.
What age?
Well, you know. You wouldn't
know to look at her but...
Admirers?
Really, Professor.
Little Ino is only 12, but she's as
confused as if she were 15.
Don't worry, we'll soon fix that.
I'm so thankful to you, Professor.
Stop, stop, stop. That sounds like
a computer. Where are you'?
Me? I'm here.
I mean where are you in
the music? Where is your personality?
What is personality?
I just explained to you that your
music has neither hills nor valleys.
You must convert the piece into a
musical landscape. One more!
What's that supposed to be?
That's my landscape.
That's not a landscape.
That's wrong.
You said that everyone must find
their own landscape.
But not one like that!
I don't want any other one.
Do you want to win
the competition or not?
No.
You do what the professor says
this minute.
Hello. Super Sound here.
I would like to speak to the piano
teacher, please.
I'm sorry but we don't have a
piano teacher here.
Yes, you do, Professor Czukay!
Nobody but the Pope
can sing like that.
A normal person certainly
couldn't. Only a true believer.
Normal people don't play with the
Pope when they have visitors.
Kiki, what's wrong with you?
Why? Don't you like
the Holy Father'?
Of curse! He's really nice
but not three hours of him.
Kiki, hang on a minute!
Hey, what have you messed up
this time?
Did you have a fight?
No, not at all!
Who does she belong to? To you?
No!
Then who does she belong to?
General Custer!
Who's that?
Shut up!
Top of the morning to you
Mrs. Jungen.
Good morning, Mr. Czukay.
I have a hurry now.
Best of luck then! Thanks!
Music competition.
A Heart for Mozart
Who was first?
Me! I was...
No, no, I don't want to be
woken by cowbells.
Yeah, that sounds more like it.
A bit more isolated?
No, I don't mind the sanatorium
patients! They sound wonderful!
What, children welcome? Please,
none of that!
Susi, are you ready for them now?
We'll have to start. Come on!
What are you going to play for us,
my child?
The mirror canon.
A what? A mirror canon?
Yeah.
What is that?
Eh...
Well, just play it then.
Say: Hit Hit Flop Flop!
Who gave you permission to
snoop around in my things?
I'm asking you something.
I only wanted to brush your old
coat. It's filthy!
This can't be happening!
What were you looking for
in my bedclothes?
I didn't touch your bedclothes.
That was the only button...
eh, I mean,
the only woman I ever loved.
Get out of here straight away!
Do that again. Right now!
Is that your daughter'?
Of course it is. Arrest that man!
What do you want?
Could it be that you stole an
electric guitar form us
once upon a time?
Oh God! The Downbeats? Where
did you get that outfit from?
And where did you get this
microphone from?
Looks pretty familiar to me!
Why are you lying in a chair
together?
Holger has only one.
Why are you calling this person
Holger?
'Cos that's his name.
Come on!
I preferred your last girlfriend.
Shut up!
By the way, who did cut the cables
at that open-air in 67?
Was it Susi?
No, it was me! The country folk
are still thanking me for it.
I'd know that!
Their chickens got sick from your
slaughter music.
How could you fall for such a
dreadful person!
I knew by the look of him that
he's not right in the head.
What did he do to you?
I already told you.
You know exactly what I mean!
Did he want you to make
something with him?
Yeah, music.
Don't talk rubbish!
He knows as much about music as
the devil about holy water.
Sorry.
Ino, stop at once!
Oh... that smells NOT very good!
Any fool could have sold you an
oxo cube for black Afghani.
Let's go on tour then.
I've never played with the
Downbeats.
Ino...
Throw it all over here until the
door is blocked.
Turn off the music or I'll get
sentimental.
What's a bass king?
What?
Is there a bass queen, too?
She was beautiful.
What became of the queen?
She turned into a witch.
A fiery red witch who
glides through the jet-set on a
golden record.
Ino, come down here this minute!
Do you hear me?
Here's your fucking guitar back!
When the witch used to sing...
Woodstock hadn't a patch on her.
What is Woodstock?
You'll make it. And you'll play for
me tonight, OK?
You'll make it. And you'll
play for me tonight. OK?
Hit, hit, flop, flop...
This is the Super Wavelength on
Super Channel!
Super Channel from Super-Sound.
Maybe some of you folks are just
back from the super concert
organized Super-Sound. So here
is our new Supersong:
Hit hit flop flop!
calls the tune is unlucky in love.
Your little daughter isn't that old,
is she?
No, thank God!
Ino is practicing for the
competition.
And she is going to win.
Well, the best of luck to her.
I have an appointment with them now.
Ah, you work for Super-Sound?
Yes, I play the Super-bass for
them.
Could you not put in a good word
for little Ino?
I don't even know your daughter yet.
Yes, you really must meet her.
Ino is very talented.
Well, if I don't get on with this now,
they'll deduct the time from my wages.
How much do you charge?
For what?
Give Ino a chance.
Give her piano lessons.
But I'm a bass-player.
But not only!
Well...
See. Do you agree to
80 marks an hour'?
The last one only got 50 and he
was from the Conservatory.
Susi...
I don't give a damn what those
children play
as long as its classical and brilliant.
Klaus suggested that we have the
children wearing wigs like Mozart
What do you think?
That's a great idea. Simply fantastic.
But only if your guys
get a crew cut.
Susi... I have to talk to you!
Have you finished?
Come into my office, please.
Good afternoon!
Professor Czukay. Please excuse
me for being so late.
Why didn't you ring the door'?
Ino! Ino! Where are you'?
Professor Czukay is here.
Hey, are you deaf? Come on, Ino!
Look at you! Come along now.
And behave yourself!
Doesn't look like a piano teacher.
I'm not one either.
Can I offer you some tea or
coffee. Or brandy perhaps?
I'd like a cocoa please.
You like cocoa too, don't you?
No.
Well, play it then.
Play what?
No cocoa.
That's impossible!
You're to play no cocoa in D minor.
That's impossible!
It's possible!
It's impossible!
It's possible!
How?
Imagine the cocoa beans are notes
swimming in the milk.
Then you can play it for me.
You.
You what?
You play me something.
Me?
No, that's no good.
Come and sit down.
We'll start at the beginning.
What do you know about Mozart?
That I have to play in a
competition because of him.
Is that all?
Well, what do you know about the
tones?
Tones?
Yes, tones.
Sounds probably Chinese.
Swing. The lovely word means:
the maximum credit curve
allocated in a bilaterally calculated
reciprocal contract
between two countries.
Write that down, please!
So what does swing mean, Ino?
I have to go to the loo.
It's nothing to do with you
personally.
You know that I'm on your side.
But the business has totally
changed.
You too.
It's not up to me.
This studio is expensive and
if I'm not successful fast,
somebody else will be sitting in
my chair tomorrow.
That would be terrible.
Yet I like being here.
You wouldn't understand that
anyway.
All right.
Keep in touch!
Ino? Is that you'?
Where have you been hiding?
Do you know what time it is?
I would have rung the police in
another half hour.
You have a piano lesson now. My
God, what have you been doing?
Where is your school bag? Hug?
I'm asking you where
your school bag is?
I forgot it, I guess.
Forgot it? Where have you been?
Tell me immediately.
On a steamer.
I'm so glad that you're here.
I think Ino is at that age.
What age?
Well, you know. You wouldn't
know to look at her but...
Admirers?
Really, Professor.
Little Ino is only 12, but she's as
confused as if she were 15.
Don't worry, we'll soon fix that.
I'm so thankful to you, Professor.
Stop, stop, stop. That sounds like
a computer. Where are you'?
Me? I'm here.
I mean where are you in
the music? Where is your personality?
What is personality?
I just explained to you that your
music has neither hills nor valleys.
You must convert the piece into a
musical landscape. One more!
What's that supposed to be?
That's my landscape.
That's not a landscape.
That's wrong.
You said that everyone must find
their own landscape.
But not one like that!
I don't want any other one.
Do you want to win
the competition or not?
No.
You do what the professor says
this minute.
Hello. Super Sound here.
I would like to speak to the piano
teacher, please.
I'm sorry but we don't have a
piano teacher here.
Yes, you do, Professor Czukay!
Nobody but the Pope
can sing like that.
A normal person certainly
couldn't. Only a true believer.
Normal people don't play with the
Pope when they have visitors.
Kiki, what's wrong with you?
Why? Don't you like
the Holy Father'?
Of curse! He's really nice
but not three hours of him.
Kiki, hang on a minute!
Hey, what have you messed up
this time?
Did you have a fight?
No, not at all!
Who does she belong to? To you?
No!
Then who does she belong to?
General Custer!
Who's that?
Shut up!
Top of the morning to you
Mrs. Jungen.
Good morning, Mr. Czukay.
I have a hurry now.
Best of luck then! Thanks!
Music competition.
A Heart for Mozart
Who was first?
Me! I was...
No, no, I don't want to be
woken by cowbells.
Yeah, that sounds more like it.
A bit more isolated?
No, I don't mind the sanatorium
patients! They sound wonderful!
What, children welcome? Please,
none of that!
Susi, are you ready for them now?
We'll have to start. Come on!
What are you going to play for us,
my child?
The mirror canon.
A what? A mirror canon?
Yeah.
What is that?
Eh...
Well, just play it then.
Say: Hit Hit Flop Flop!
Who gave you permission to
snoop around in my things?
I'm asking you something.
I only wanted to brush your old
coat. It's filthy!
This can't be happening!
What were you looking for
in my bedclothes?
I didn't touch your bedclothes.
That was the only button...
eh, I mean,
the only woman I ever loved.
Get out of here straight away!
Do that again. Right now!
Is that your daughter'?
Of course it is. Arrest that man!
What do you want?
Could it be that you stole an
electric guitar form us
once upon a time?
Oh God! The Downbeats? Where
did you get that outfit from?
And where did you get this
microphone from?
Looks pretty familiar to me!
Why are you lying in a chair
together?
Holger has only one.
Why are you calling this person
Holger?
'Cos that's his name.
Come on!
I preferred your last girlfriend.
Shut up!
By the way, who did cut the cables
at that open-air in 67?
Was it Susi?
No, it was me! The country folk
are still thanking me for it.
I'd know that!
Their chickens got sick from your
slaughter music.
How could you fall for such a
dreadful person!
I knew by the look of him that
he's not right in the head.
What did he do to you?
I already told you.
You know exactly what I mean!
Did he want you to make
something with him?
Yeah, music.
Don't talk rubbish!
He knows as much about music as
the devil about holy water.
Sorry.
Ino, stop at once!
Oh... that smells NOT very good!
Any fool could have sold you an
oxo cube for black Afghani.
Let's go on tour then.
I've never played with the
Downbeats.
Ino...
Throw it all over here until the
door is blocked.
Turn off the music or I'll get
sentimental.
What's a bass king?
What?
Is there a bass queen, too?
She was beautiful.
What became of the queen?
She turned into a witch.
A fiery red witch who
glides through the jet-set on a
golden record.
Ino, come down here this minute!
Do you hear me?
Here's your fucking guitar back!
When the witch used to sing...
Woodstock hadn't a patch on her.
What is Woodstock?
You'll make it. And you'll play for
me tonight, OK?
You'll make it. And you'll
play for me tonight. OK?
Hit, hit, flop, flop...
This is the Super Wavelength on
Super Channel!
Super Channel from Super-Sound.
Maybe some of you folks are just
back from the super concert
organized Super-Sound. So here
is our new Supersong:
Hit hit flop flop!