Klases Salidojums (2019) - full transcript

CLASS REUNION

Are you all right?

You bought a cheap loo paper. It scratches.

If you want to impress the girls,

go easy on the gay image.

What do you know about it?

Last time you were trying to hit on somebody,

a cell phone was 12 kilos.

Why are the lights so low here?

To make it difficult to read?

I just need more light.



Is there a smaller print?

Oh God. They should have guessed

they were writing to a man over 40.

Honey, let me read it to you.

''Dear Nil Vitols,

it's been 25 years since our graduation

and we invite you to our class reunion.

Everybody gets a small task.

Yours is to deliver a speech.

We would be very happy to see you.

Best regards, the Organizing Committee".

This is you.

Happy and pleased.

And smiling to the camera.



A speech?

Let me have a look.

Which one is you?

Take a guess?

Thanks.

Gosh, it's been 25 years.

Two my lifetimes.

Going for a swim?

It's the loo paper.

Nil, regarding your design.

Very high quality, as always.

Great. And missing something, as always.

It lacks the edge.

Something is missing. Just a bit.

It is not sexy!

It's a toilet for handicapped. - I know.

Martin! Let Martin brush it up.

Martin, it's for you.

Add some pepper to it.

If you know what I mean. That's all. Thanks.

Nil. Take care of your can.

My uncle blamed the loo paper, too,

and it turned out to be rectum cancer.

See you at lunch time.

I don't want to go to that reunion.

I don't know what to say in that speech.

You have piles. Don't worry.

Half the men of our age have them.

We use a rough loo paper at home.

Relax, or it will catch my finger.

If you find something valuable, pull it out.

I can't do anything now like I could before.

I can't see well, can't hear well, can't crap well...

Hi buddy. - Hi.

I have some students with me. - Very pretty.

Yeah, you get some cases.

Are you going to lunch? - As soon as I finish.

I discovered a great wine - paparuda.

I prefer the good old merlot.

Girls, nine sharp tomorrow.

I'll prescribe a hemorrhoids cream.

Twice a day on your finger, as much as you can.

And then go as deep as you can.

I didn't expect you would bang me again.

Have we met before?

Yes. Don't you remember? In Liepaja.

I don't.

At the festival, behind the tents.

Your hair was different. - No.

Now I remember.

"I am going to bed. Waiting for you. Kisses, Laura"

Tom! - Simona!

Yes.

The gig was fantastic.

Hey! - Hello.

Shall we have some fun?

Hey, listen! - You listen yourself!

There is plenty for everyone. - Meaning?

He can have us both.

Great idea. But not tonight.

They would forgive you that in Estonia.

"Thank you for using Taxify services"

You came to bed and didn't wake me up?

Where are you going?

To the bakery. For cinnamon rolls.

Tom! - Yes?

Get one for me, too.

Sure.

Here you are.

Nilson, you don't need it indoors.

You need to set an example for kids.

Going to the bakery wearing a helmet?

Next. - I would like...

Two white loaves.

An invisible man. As if you were dead.

I would like...

One grain loaf and four with apples.

Here you go. Anything else?

Two cokes, please. They are down there.

Have you heard about Andris? - What about him?

Anything else? - Two more cokes.

Crazy! His wife left him.

Would that be all? - And two more cokes.

There you go.

Thank you. - Welcome.

Hey! This is not a public toilet.

So don't do it here, old man.

I never did it by a bakery when I was young!

Nilson! - What? It's disgusting!

What's got into you? - Into me?

Remember our prom?

We made fun of our history teacher who said,

"When you hit 40 you would have a bald spot,

your bottom would be like a used teabag

and looking at the mirror you would think,

"Who's that old man?"

So now I have it.

My bottom is saggy

and I see an old man in the mirror.

It was then.

Now it's different.

Look at Mick Jagger.

He is still singing and dancing at 70!

Freimanis isn't. - Just hang loose.

You are down. You need to vent and enjoy yourself.

I don't do clubbing anymore. - That's silly.

Go there just to flirt. To dance.

I won't cheat on Ieva. - And who asked you to?

If you need Ieva to realize

you are still alive, your cake is dough.

Oh really? Says the man

who has no stable relationship.

Look around.

How many wives left their husbands?

You have no idea what Andris is like.

There is only one thing left now.

No.

Nilson, we have a reunion coming up.

I am not going. - Because of that speech?

What shall I say?

I have piles and my wife doesn't fancy me anymore?

I have an idea. Let's make a great weekend out of it.

You, me and Andris, like in the old times.

Let's book a hotel

and cut it loose.

Then we go to that reunion

and you make a great speech.

We'll make it. I promise.

Nilson! If you don't want to do it for yourself,

do it for Andris.

Well?

Shall I put the hemorrhoids creme with your toiletries?

Yes.

Daddy! - Wait.

I can't open it. - What do you need?

My graduation badge.

Thanks. - You are welcome.

Daddy!

I can't open it!

That's it! I am not going anywhere! I have...

nothing to say to them.

Daddy!

What shall I tell them? Our life was going uphill,

and now it is going downhill.

Daddy! - Can you give me a break

for just a few seconds?

Nil.

I am sorry.

I don't care what you do,

but you have to do something.

Nilson! Hi!

This won't help.

It's a good family car.

Take it.

Something to show instead of children.

Thanks.

Andris looks a bit down.

Consider this: you attend couples therapy,

and then your wife leaves you for the shrink

who is 15 years younger?

And she has his name tattooed on her butt - Karlis.

Hi Andris! - Hi Tom!

And what is that?

I have piles.

What's in the cylinder? - Helium.

I was supposed to bring helium. And you?

Surprise! I'll have to sing.

And Nil will have to speak.

Thank God it's not me.

I wouldn't want to shame myself in front of others.

Then I would have to live with it for 25 years!

Thanks. I don't want to write that speech anyway.

Do you need a bit of Andris' gas in it?

Are you with Laura again?

No, I am not with her.

What's her name then?

The one you sleep with most of the time?

What's this? - Put it back.

You shove it up your nose on the way to work?

Yes, I have long nose hair.

And I have long butt hair!

Will you mention that in your speech? - Good idea.

How is it going with Anna?

It isn't. We are not on speaking terms.

At all? - At all.

And since she left me

she better forget about the reunion.

I am not sure she feels the same way.

Then you would have to stick to separate corners.

What about your son? - That's the worst of it.

It's unbelievable I can only see him on Saturdays.

When I take him back

my heart is breaking.

Don't you get this sense of freedom

because he is not at home all day?

Unlike you, I love children.

Who said that I don't? - Why haven't you got them?

How old are you? - Come on, this in fun!

That wasn't me. - Ask them if they want to get laid.

Just riding your bikes?

Are you laughing at me?

Relax!

Are you picking up chicks or driving on?

We would take the girls if we could, thank you.

Three horney OAPs in a Berlingo.

What are you looking at, fatso?

Rats!

What's the matter?

They shag our wives and take our jobs!

I won't take it anymore!

He is nuts. Let go!

Andris!

Andris! - What?

What are you doing?!

Controlling a tantrum.

Well I never!

CSDD reminds you to consider other motorists.

It is good to be nice.

She is pretty.

Thanks. - I like your music.

Cool. Tonight we should think of something.

I wouldn't say no either.

What shall we do?

They'll let me know the hottest spot here.

Now we go to our rooms and get some sleep.

Unless we start with the gym first.

I am game.

The one in the orange top is cool.

Yep.

Didn't you go overboard with the weights?

I have piles.

From Laura?

No, from someone named Simona.

Why don't you stay with Laura for real?

I'll get some water.

Do you think they have no kids

because Laura doesn't want to?

I think she does.

Would you and Ieva have another one?

I am considering a vasectomy.

Why? - We have two children already.

And Ieva is pushing 40.

You smiled at her!

After I told you that I liked her!

You don't even know her. - So what?

Why did you do that? That's not fair!

Aren't you taking a break after the split-up?

No, I am not!

To let you and Tom get them all? No, thanks!

I want to mention our friendship in my speech.

Friendship is like a good wine.

A good wine needs some sunshine.

And we had some great fun together -

exams, class dos, parties.

We became like fellow soldiers. - No way!

Then why are we together?

It's easy to be nice and charming

if everything is fine at home.

And I stick of a divorce.

We all stink of something.

What? - Did you shave your balls?

What do you think?

You wouldn't catch any chicks with old-timey balls.

Old-timey balls?

Is it to stop hair from getting between your teeth?

Does Karlis shave them, too?

How old is he? - 29.

Then he definitely does. - I'll kill him!

Isn't hair a sign of virility any longer?

Only a hick would have such a jungle.

Isn't it some kind of retro charm?

Like vinyls and stuff?

If you don't want "old-timey" written on your faces

you better shave your balls.

What do you say?

No.

If this hick does it, I'll do it, too.

Sure he will.

Guys, I am taking a leak.

Do you know what getting a girl means to him?

You have to shave.

What shall I tell my wife? - She'll be happy.

I come home from a class reunion

with my balls shaved, and she'll be happy?

If she doesn't like it you can grow it back.

How much do I shave behind?

Hello!

That's a matter of taste.

I told you to shave against the grain.

Against? You said, with the grain!

Nilson. The lotion.

It would be easier to burn it with the lighter.

What are you doing?

I don't want it to stick to your butt.

But the heat might help.

Nil wants to have the snip. Did you know?

Are you off your trolley?

You can't do that. - Why?

If a man can't make babies he is not a man.

Rubbish! - I agree with Nil.

Forget it.

You can't have children?

Is that what it's all about?

Looks like it.

My father couldn't have children either.

It's a miracle that Mom got pregnant.

Why can't you have them?

Like my father's, my balls dropped very late.

You never mentioned it. - Nothing to be proud of.

Now I get it.

I know why you shave your balls.

To show that you have them.

Come on. - Why not?

Did you get a check-up?

The longer you wait the less chances you have.

Exactly.

You are over 40 and the sperm quality is dropping.

I know.

Burying your head in the sand won't get you babies.

And you'd be too old to adopt.

One at a time, please.

We'll find a clinic to have your sperm checked.

Otherwise you won't do it. We know.

We enjoy ourselves first. - No, we do that first.

I shaved my balls on the outside,

and you'll have yours checked from the inside.

Is it your piles?

You go, I'll catch you up.

Andris!

What is it?

My balls are stuck between the boards.

No way.

That's because of your lotion, Tom!

Because of your lotion.

What possessed me to shave them?

Wow!

No!

Looks like blood has stopped circulating.

No!

Are they out?

Ice?

There is a fertility clinic close by.

Open 24/7.

24/7? - Yes.

They ovulate not only on weekdays 9 to 5.

We can't leave Nil alone.

I am coming with you.

I won't have to wham the ham.

He is coming.

Fertility clinic.

You'll be sitting here reading magazines, and I...

I haven't done that in 30 years.

Doing it to yourself is the best.

You only do it to the person you love.

Okay.

We'll go for a walk.

I've changed my mind. - No.

You can't. You have to deal with it.

Okay. I have an idea.

One, two, three. Go!

Wait, don't start yet!

Go!

Sex with Anna wasn't good in the last couple years.

I fancy her.

Where is Nil?

Nilson! What's up? - Nothing.

Can't get a stiffy or no result? - Both.

Drop your pants first.

Thanks for the tip.

Think of that girl form the parallel class

whom you never got.

Ilze. - Think of Ilze.

Forget about us waiting.

Just relax and play with it, and you'll do it.

We know that you can.

Go for it, Nilson!

Go for it, Nilson!

Go for it, Nilson!

There you are! - Nilson.

It's because my balls got stuck in the sauna.

Has it happened before?

What? Call Ieva if you don't believe me.

Don't worry. It's a common problem at your age.

Sorry? - It lets you down.

Thank you.

Where can I wash my hands? - Over there.

It might seem trite,

but you need some female attention.

No. - Let's go.

What? - I hope you are a Kiss fan.

Let's go!

Can't get it off.

Like Gorbachev.

Water resistant toner.

How many women can Gorby have on a lucky day?

Like Harry Potter! He had a lightning on his face!

It's rather stylish.

Lightning? Andris, have a look!

I have an oil spill on my face!

Nobody would think about your age.

It will be dark there. - They will get drunk.

And start dancing.

My brother-in-law looks like an old geezer

but it never bothered him.

Because he didn't care.

Forget it. And enjoy yourself.

You need it.

It's for the wrong hole!

That's it! Enough!

You go. I'll stay and work on my speech.

If you stay so shall we.

Guys.

Guys. Hey!

Hi honey. - Hi!

What are you doing?

Robert went to a party.

Sofia and I had a pillow fight.

She is asleep now. - Sounds like fun.

Sofia says she is missing you.

Sorry about earlier. - We'll get through.

I wanted to talk to you about Sofia.

She is not doing that well at school. And...

Are you listening?

Yes. You know,

I have some ideas regarding my speech.

Do you want to hear?

Oh God. You think only of yourself.

Yes I do. I think of myself.

I have to speak in front of my schoolmates tomorrow.

I just need a bit of help.

Okay. I am listening.

Thanks. Here it goes.

"Where are they?

Yes, where are they?

The dreams". - Honey, it sounds pathetic.

No it doesn't.

Andris and Tom don't see it as senile rubbish.

It's not my fault that you can't stand criticism.

I am not saying that I refuse to listen to it,

but this kind of criticism is ridiculous.

Do you under...

Hallo!

Hallo!

I don't get it. My wife is angry.

Normally we would support each other.

I don't care I look like a freak.

We are going out!

Hey!

Mojitos!

I believe God puts them in our way

since he can't do anything himself!

Really?

That's why we have wet dreams?

Bummer, Nilson.

See the guy in the pink shirt?

It's Karlis. - The therapist?

Fuck!

So? Shall we give it a go?

I used to do that to Ivo at our science lessons.

What is this?

And I used to do that to Ivo!

Does it hurt?

And how do I feel? I had my heart ripped out,

thrown into the mud

and shoved up my ass.

Petty cocksure twits!

They think they can bang the whole world!

They will be dead, too. But they don't know it yet.

I am Nil.

Katrina.

I'll get my friends, okay?

Nilson! I will go to the police!

And tell them you have stolen my moves!

Hey!

How is your fishing?

I am testing the waters.

Good. Let's have a drink.

Tom might stand me a drink.

Fertility?

Is it contagious?

Do you have a problem with your peen?

With the peen...

Enough. - Drink it.

Did you want anything?

Drink it.

Drink it. - Enough.

Listen.

Didn't we tell you to be back home by one o'clock?

Didn't we?

Thanks, daddy.

Actually, it wasn't me who said it,

it was Mom.

This is Tom.

Andris. - Yes.

And this is Santa. - Hi Santa.

I'll get the drinks.

I would hump her. - Yes.

Go!

Karlis?

Wait!

You creep! You stole my wife!

You can't steal a wife. Anna has left you.

You manipulated her.

I have been listening to you for weeks.

Neither of you was happy in that relationship.

You don't know squat about it!

Yes I do.

And what makes you so good?

Your shaved balls? Mine are shaved, too.

Or can you do it over and over again?

Is that what she fell for?

It's not that. You are OK, but...

Come out!

Andris!

You have to control your aggression.

If you want to meet another woman

you have to let go of your anger.

Come out.

And I will let go of my anger.

Anger is just a symptom, Andris.

You should ask yourself

if there is something that you fear or regret.

I regret not having torn you into pieces. - Help!

Help!

Andris! Denis, Oleg.

Hi. - Hey!

My Andris.

Where are the guys? - I don't know.

What's that stain on your face?

I can't get it off.

I could.

Shall we go to your room and wipe it off?

Tom!

Why aren't you answering my texts?

You have used all the memory in my phone in a week.

I am not you but I wouldn't say no.

Sorry, no chance. I have to be with Tom.

Let's dance, baby!

Tom!

You have laugh lines.

Yes. Two.

The rest were caused by sorrow.

Why are you so sad?

Could this help?

This?

It's great. Cheers you up immediately.

Did you take one yourself? - Yes.

Otherwise I couldn't carry on. - Come on.

You are young and beautiful. You have everything.

I have no boyfriend and I don't know how to live on.

I don't understand anything anymore.

Does this help? - No.

But it helps to forget all kinds of shit

and just enjoy myself.

You know, I...

I'd rather give it a miss.

Okay.

You can keep it for a rainy day.

I am married.

I know. We are just comforting each other.

And you thought someone might covet that?

Measles in its final stage.

You are long past your sell by date.

Santa, when will you realize

that pills and booze don't go well together?

Andris?

Where is Tom?

We were at the club.

Tom drank himself stupid.

Simona nearly raped him.

She wanted to have his baby! Can you imagine?

I had to smuggle him out.

So where is Tom?

The boot...

Hey, Tomson, hit the deck.

Tomson!

At least one of us

got his way.

I miss Laura.

She has the softest cheeks on earth.

I love her.

Why aren't you together, then?

I 'd love to

but I don't think I can make her happy.

You don't know that.

Who needs a man that can't have children?

Laura might.

Wait. This is not Laura.

Simona?

This is Santa.

Santa?

The one who was supposed to be with me?

And I thought you were my friend.

I am.

I am lonesome and I need a girlfriend.

You had it all as usual, and in my bed on top of it!

This is not fair.

I don't like the word "jealous"

but I can't find another one.

What else can I say? - Jealous?

Jealous of whom? - Of you!

Exactly. - Of me?

All the pretty girls were yours. - Mine?

Did you get Busty Ilze?

No, I didn't.

Wife, children.

Berlingo, mortgage and stuff.

I'll sleep here.

And I'll sleep there, then Simona won't find me.

Hey!

I need your help.

I am making that speech in four hours

and I only have half the opening.

Give me five minutes. I will feel better.

I won't help you.

If he says he hasn't slept with Santa

then he hasn't.

Just say you were suffering so you wrote nothing.

And let him go back home with the self-esteem

smaller than an ice-swimmer's shriveled cock?

Speaking of which, it itches like crazy down there.

Itches like hell.

Which means that you don't need to shave your balls.

You'll get used to it.

Easy there.

Otherwise people might think you have crab lice.

What is it? - My mouth is on fire.

Have some milk. - It's driving me crazy.

It's driving me crazy.

Please come with me. - Why?

Do you consider us idiots?

We saw you tossing off there. - Tossing off?

Don't touch her!

It has a very simple explanation.

We have just shaved our crotches.

Come with me, please. - How old are you?

Stay there! How old are you?

Do you know why the alpha males are always grey?

Grey hair means wisdom.

So the females can see: he knows what it is about.

And what is it about here? - Nothing!

Nothing happened! Nil and I have children, too.

Not together, but we have children.

Tom doesn't.

But the clinic will tell him if it is possible.

See how good he is with children?

Andris, don't go telling everyone

about my personal problems.

Sorry for this misunderstanding.

We only wanted to help your daughter.

I'll talk to my superior. - Go on, do it!

If he is a grey ape I'll talk to him myself!

Nilson, sit and eat your sausage.

If you hadn't gone haywire

I could have got on with my speech.

What shall I do now?

Shut up. It's' not about you, it's about Tom's sperm.

Hello. - Thank you.

Can we have yours first?

Yes!

Mine is a super sperm!

Hold on, Karlis!

I am over 40 but I still ride high!

Are you sure there is no mistake? - Let me see.

This is your personal code, isn't it?

Could you explain it, please?

It means that your sperm quality is low

and it would be hard to conceive in the usual way.

I have two children.

You were somewhat younger then, weren't you?

I was. - Do you smoke?

No. - He needs glasses but he wouldn't wear them.

It could be stress related.

He has to make a speech and it is not ready yet.

What's in your envelope? - I'm not opening it.

Why? - If my result is similar to yours

I won't go to that reunion. - Me neither.

I would stand there before others feeling shitty.

Open it!

Open it! Do as I say!

Nilson, what's your problem?

You have a wonderful wife and two kids.

Think about me.

What shall do I with my super sperm?

Just think how I feel, buddy.

You wanted to have the snip.

It's not about that.

Even if I can't make it to a party

I want to get an invitation.

Open it!

Unless you want to impress people with your trunks

you have to get dressed.

When will your speech be ready?

Do you want to hear it?

Rubbish. Rubbish.

Rubbish. Old man's rubbish.

And why not?

Old man's rubbish.

You have to expand a bit. Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish.

Why do people go to those reunions?

To find out whose urine stream is longer.

Who has achieved more.

Whose life is better. Who has more fun.

Stiffy or not, I can't have children anymore.

I am not very happy. - I am.

I haven't perked up his mood. You have a go.

I welcome everybody who came here tonight.

I am very happy to see you again.

As you know I had my balls stuck...

If you don't make that speech

you would hate yourself even more.

What if I screw up? - And then, too.

Great.

Take a chance to try and make it better.

Isn't it like talking a starving person into

spending his last dime on a lottery ticket?

And what would you prefer? Starve to death?

Or risk everything

to forget about your worries?

He would die anyway.

I wouldn't want to be in his shoes.

Are you all right, Nilson?

Yes!

Everything is just great!

Won't you be happy to see everybody again?

I could do without seeing some.

You could arrange with Anna.

She goes to the formal part, you stay for the party.

No, you both can go.

We are not on speaking terms.

Is everybody coming?

Krumins isn't. He died last summer.

The one who was wearing shorts all year round?

Yes, he's the one.

He went to a water park with his family.

Blood clot. He fell down, and that's it.

Shorts? - Get out!

Did he have a day pass?

He didn't get his money's worth.

Are you all right? - Yes, I am!

Did I tell you that I love you?

Ilze could be there, too.

Busty Ilze? - Yes.

Did you know that such reunions can often give you

what you couldn't get back then?

What's wrong with that?

Nothing, just don't steal what is mine.

Otherwise you can do as you please.

I don't even feel my piles anymore!

Are they all sick? Or are these people their parents?

What a relaxed atmosphere.

I'll go and say hello.

I'll be damned!

No hair left!

What shall we do with them? - Tie them to Anna.

Then she can hang under the ceiling

with her tattooed butt.

Hey!

Hi!

What is that? Just there.

Here you go. I love your music.

Thanks.

I don't remember us being in the same class.

It can actually be better than I expected.

What about Laura?

Hi again!

Bonjour!

I just spoke to Anna.

I heard everything was over between you two.

It was high time to replace water in the pool.

Hi Nilson!

How are you? Are you married?

Or are you still drooling over Ilze?

There she is.

Well preserved, isn't she?

She wouldn't need to go round my bed in circles.

Right. I'll go and say hello to people.

Au revoir. - Au revoir.

Complete idiot.

Good evening everyone. Welcome.

Yes. Andris Jansons from class A

was supposed to host this evening

but he got sick, unfortunately.

So I hope

I can handle it and get a good mark

under the new 10 grade system.

The food is there on the buffet table.

There will be some performances as well.

I know that Tom has written a new song.

And there will surely be a speech.

Yes!

Shouldn't you have a go at your speech?

So that you get all the girls

and I miss the boat?

No way.

Where is Ilze?

Nilson! - Get lost!

What are you doing? - I am sorry.

Doesn't matter.

Looks like Shrek has jerked off on you.

Yes. I'll take it off.

I don't 'think you should.

Relax, it's OK.

Don't do it.

There.

Like I said,

you and Tom are my best friends.

Let's go to the bathroom.

Hi! - Hello.

Wait. Don't you remember me?

Help me.

What if I said, a green pad in the gym?

Are you Vita?

No. I am Liga.

Have you met my daughter?

She is serving tonight.

Is that your daughter? - Yes.

It's wonderful. I am so happy.

Do you have children?

I have a dog. That's about it.

Great.

Great. Fantastic.

There you go.

It is clean now.

Wait. It is wet, too.

Look at me. Are you junked up?

Dunno.

Santa gave me a pill for a rainy day.

Do you take E? - But I feel so good!

Last time I felt like that in 2000

when we beat Russia at hockey.

Can you get it off prescription I wonder?

There you are. - Nil took some E.

I am serious. - Wow!

No!

No, Andris! - You can't go naked!

You can't go naked! - Yes I can!

Being naked is healthy!

Don't you...

Andris, look. This would do.

It looks great.

Let's go. - He looks like a pansy.

Wait, duckie!

I was sitting here, actually.

We can both sit here. - I don't think so.

I will sit next to Ilze.

I won't sit next to you.

You are a complete idiot.

You are even more beautiful that you were at school.

It's a slight exaggeration.

Thank you.

Are you married? - No.

Children?

Boyfriend?

No.

Have you slept it all away?

Nil, shall we have a go at your speech?

No, it's perfectly fine!

What is this?

Nilson, you really shouldn't mix it.

Hold on. Everything is under control.

We should beat it after the speech. - Should we?

Do you know what I can do? - What?

Hit on Liga's daughter.

That would be a hat trick.

Are you gonna hit on Liga's mother as well?

No way! Really?

That's not fair.

You slept with a grandma?

She wasn't a grandma back then.

To grandmas!

Grandma!

I need a girlfriend. - You are so ready for it.

Am I? - Surely not.

And this is our little family paradise.

Cote d'Azur. South of France.

Andris!

Andris, look. This is Cannes.

Doesn't Peteris live well!

Do I have to look right now?

Look at this amazing house.

Where did you say it was? - Cote d'Azur.

Cote d'Azur. Look.

Hang on. Is this your wife?

Are they real?

This... - Hey!

Complete idiot. - Who is an idiot?

Andris. - He is not talking to you.

A very grown up behaviour. - Yes, he is great.

I really want to know how he is.

We had some fun.

And now he is very happy.

And you are happy since you don't have to look

at Andris' old saggy butt.

What are you talking about?

I have nothing against Andris' butt.

But Karlis' butt is much firmer.

I want to make it clear.

It had nothing to do with Andris' age.

I left because we were not happy together anymore.

By the way, Andris is the best dad in the world.

So, will you be mine tonight?

Yes or no?

Yes or no?

It is so long

Until the snow starts falling

This is not the end

This is not...

I know what you are thinking.

Really? - I do.

You are looking at yourself in the mirror thinking,

"Who is that old bag?"

You feel 10 or 15 years younger

than this old cow.

No.

I am just a little tired.

I think your career

has reached its peak,

you have a job to find a man

and you don't know how to regain your self-esteem.

Are you nuts?

Yes!

And that's where I come in

because I can help you.

Have you seen Nil?

You said you love Laura. Stay here.

This is just a hat trick. - Hat trick?

You think Laura might dump you because of the results.

If you really love her you should fight for her.

This came from a women's magazine? - No, from Karlis.

But I didn't listen to him.

Look for Nil. I am in a hurry.

So sweet!

Something isn't right here.

Tom!

Simona.

Now we

ought to be listening to a speech.

But Nil who was supposed to make it is not here.

He didn't do his homework.

He might be summoned to the headmaster's.

I shouldn't drink anymore.

Shall we all call Nil?

Speech!

Speech!

We might be in trouble.

Speech!

Take the stage, fill in time, and I'll find him.

What shall I say? - Improvise.

Speech!

Andris, everybody knows you.

Good evening.

While you are waiting for Nil's speech,

I want to use this chance to say...

Something personal. - You are horney!

No, Peteris. I am sad.

I am sad because it didn't work for Anna and me.

Anna, I will try and start talking to you.

And we might become friends again one day.

At least

for Victor's sake.

I will never like that Karlis of yours, Anna.

But I don't have to sleep with him!

Looks like I am way off base here.

But I am not the main speaker tonight.

If you need a girlfriend, here is my phone number.

Where shall we do it?

In the biology classroom, or science?

Tonight is not easy for me. - Why?

Why such a sad mood?

Because everyone else has a family

and I have nothing to be proud of.

If you want to

you can be proud of shacking up with me.

No! - I'll give you another chance.

I'll show you. I have shaved everything down there,

with a razor, against the grain.

Even if you painted your balls blue

I would never fall for it.

Sorry. Excuse me.

Don't you want to? Then I'll get a consolation prize.

Shall I punch him?

This one? Don't. It's not worth it.

Darling, if you want to feel better,

just look around.

Stop looking in the mirror all the time.

Sorry. Excuse me.

Paint them. Do whatever you have to do.

Say hello to the dog.

Nilson, what are you doing here?

Hold on. I am on the homestretch.

No!

See you later!

I have to make a speech.

No. I have to make a speech.

This is my lucky draw.

This won't end well.

What do you know about suffering and oppression?

My country and I know everything about it.

They would be breaking chairs with excitement.

Simona!

Speech!

Speech!

I must apologize

for the delay. I was very busy.

But now you will hear the speech!

Yes.

Do you need to borrow my glasses?

It's been 25 years.

So much has happened.

If it had been 30, even more would have happened.

But it's been only 25.

And 25 is not five!

25 is not five!

Good!

25 is not five!

25 is not five!

And now you will hear something funny.

Hello everybody!

I might sound a bit strange.

Just a moment.

Show must go on!

Anna has a tattoo.

Anna has a tattoo on her butt.

Anna, show us your tattooed butt.

Don't you want to? You don't have to.

And I have piles.

Hands up who's seen piles.

Who wants to see? Really?

No problem. Right away.

Here!

Come on, don't be shy.

Oh God.

Every fourth man has piles.

One, two, three - congratulations!

Piles are those little lumps on your...

I'll get Nil. - I'll get the car.

Well, Nilson, what do you think?

It could have been worse?

I don't think it could.

I am so sorry.

Forgive me. - Doesn't matter.

The next reunion is 25 years away.

I feel so shitty.

You only reek of puke ever so slightly.

What does it say here?

"Cane". Can't you see?

"Cane"? I thought it said "cave".

Oh yes, it is an ''n".

Hi darling.

What's with that old man's rubbish?

Can't you see?

Then you have to come closer.

Translated by Marina Cepmene