Kiraware Matsuko no isshô (2006) - full transcript
Shou's father Norio finds his son in a rather meaningless existence in Tokyo dominated by alcohol and porn videos. Having left home two years earlier to pursue life as a musician, Shou has left his band and his girlfriend has left him. His father asks a favor, that Shou clean out the apartment of his aunt Matsuko, who he says led a meaningless life until her murder at the age of 53. The apartment is filled with garbage bags and is even more unkempt than his apartment has become, and he becomes intrigued with his aunt as details of her life are supplied by a tattooed neighbor and others. Her feelings of neglect by her father Tsunehiro, who favored her chronically ill younger sister, Kumi, translated into becoming a dutiful junior high school teacher devoted to her students until being forced to resign after being blamed for the theft of some money by one of them. Leaving her family due to the disgrace, she had a series of affairs with lovers who physically abused her and did a stint as a massage parlor girl due to her beauty. After her pimp lover dumped her and gave her share of earnings to his new lover, they argued and after killing him she left by train and contemplated suicide. Dissuaded by a lonely barber, she happily set out to build a quiet life with him until the police came to charge her with murder. Upon her release from prison she silently slipped away after finding that the barber had started a new family. Becoming a "Yakusa Girl" she rationalized that it was better to be on the run with a mobster than be alone. However, her mobster lover rejected her after being released from a term in prison and she became an eccentric recluse. Shou concludes that his aunt fulfilled his ex-girlfriend's parting comment about it being better to give to others rather than expecting to receive.
Everybody dreams.
But only a handful of people
see their dreams realized.
Want to be a star?
You're perfect!
The rest of us…
accept our fate…
fall into ruin…
kill ourselves…
Let's break up.
laugh it off…
Don't come near!
turn to a life of crime
Life with you…
is a terrible bore.
I feel like dying.
You have no way out.
At any rate…
the future's hopeless.
You quit your band.
So now what?
Sex!
Sex!
Sex!
It's not too late!
Shut up!
You can start over!
Star Over!
Fuck it.
And then a familiar voice called to me.
Reach out Stretch up high
And grab a star
Matsuko!
Hi, Son.
Dad!
I need a favor of you.
I need a favor of you.
I hadn't seen my Dad in 2 years.
Ever since I left home at 18 for Tokyo…
to become a musician.
What's that?
Ashes.
Mom?
I never told you
I had an older sister, Matsuko.
She vanished about 30 years ago.
She was found dead in a park 3 days ago.
My dad came to Tokyo to cremate her.
She was 53…
living alone in an apartment.
My dad had to return home that day.
So he asked me to go clean up her apartment.
She was hopeless.
And now she's been murdered.
Murdered?
The killer's still at large.
Her life was meaningless.
Her life was meaningless.
Meaningless.
4 pm, July 10, 2001.
The body of a middle-aged woman
was found on a riverbank.
According to the police…
she was identified as Matsuko Kawajiri.
A tenant of a run-down apartment building.
She had been severely beaten…
"Murder, Say Police"
What a mess!
A teen idol band?
Concrete jungle!
Disgusting.
This is her?
Aunt Matsuko?
That was scribbled by the lady who died 4 days ago.
She was…
a nuisance.
A neighborhood pest.
Fuckin' crazy!
Well, I'm her relative.
Well, I'm her relative.
Her neighbor, Shuji.
Despite his anti-social demeanor…
My body is my canvas.
He was oddly friendly.
She is a nuisance in the apartment.
People called the lady here "Matsuko the Outcast."
Never threw out her trash. Never said a word.
She smelled weird.
Sometimes, she'd scream her head off.
Teen idols?
I often saw her on the riverbank
just staring at the water.
River?
Mystifying.
Not for the hero detective.
Hi, Officer!
Fuckin' scary!
Seen him? He lived with the victim 18 years ago.
He was released from prison last month.
You think he did it?
Don't know. But he's been spotted around here.
Hey, you!
What do you know of her?
Nothing.
She liked teen idols?
Her life…
was meaningless.
"Forgive me…"
"Forgive me for being born."
Who was she?
Schoolteacher.
A junior high teacher.
Popular, too. Beautiful voice.
Over the moon, the sky shinning.
(Matsuko, age 23, 1971)
a star sparkles
That's where hope lies
Kownledge is endless
And stars reach into endlessness
Then came an incident at a school outing.
Get back to your rooms.
A student stole money…
from the inn's shop.
About 100.
Ryu was missing from dinner last night.
So what?
He was the only one missing.
Don't accuse him!
We're not accusing him.
We just want you to talk to him.
He's your student! -Yes, Sir!
Do it!
Yes, Sir!
I'll join you.
For moral support.
That's okay. I'm his teacher.
I trust my students.
I selected my words carefully
so as not to hurt his feelings.
Did you take the money?
I believe you but the other teachers…
I'd like to hear it from you.
You think I did it.
If it's returned, the owner won't call the police.
We'll apologize together.
Forget it!
Oh no.
Is it me?
My fault?
No, Ryu's to blame.
He stole!
Damn you!
Wait, I know!
I'll return the money myself…
and say I got it from the remorseful student.
Not enough!
How to do…
I'll pay it right back!
I promise!
He feels terrible about it!
Then bring him here.
He needs to apologize!
Let's go see him, then.
No!
Yes!
You making fun of me?
Um… no.
Just then…
It wasn't him.
I just wanted this over.
I took it!
I took the money!
You were letting your students take the blame…
for a crime you committed?
I'm sorry!
I wasn't going to the police anyway.
Ms. Kawajiri?
But why?
Let's not tell the other teachers.
We'll let the inn believe you did it.
And the school will pretend nothing happened.
We've no other choice.
As for you, Ms. Kawajiri…
I'm sorry.
How sorry?
Well…
Show me with actions, not words!
Yes, sir!
If you're really sorry, then show me your breasts.
Show me! -Yes.
Now!
Yes.
Ms. Kawajiri?
It was all a mistake by the inn.
Yes.
People can be so silly.
Ms. Kawajiri?
He looked me in the eye and said…
How would you like…
to go bowling on Sunday?
Then I said…
"Are you asking me out on a date?"
Then he blushed.
Yes.
Is he handsome?
Yes, and his teeth!
Sparkling white.
Good for you, Sis.
Thanks.
I promise to be happy.
Why'd you tell your sister you have a date?
You know she's ill.
She can't go out.
She can't date.
Have you considered her feelings?
Have you no sympathy?
Hi, Sis.
I don't feel…
the least bit sorry for you!
Matsuko!
Dad had always been like this.
(Matsuko, age 7, 1955)
Reach out Stretch up high
And grab a star
Stretch up high as you can
He adored my sick sister, Kumi.
I was always alone.
But one time…
after visiting Kumi in the hospital,
he took me to a department store.
I ate pancakes for the first time.
It was just the two of us.
I walk the road where candy trees grow
I dance in the woods in magical shoes
Nobody hates the smile on my face
And every word I say turns into music
Because of Kumi's illness, dad was always sad.
But I made him smile.
After that, I tried to win his favor by making that face.
I wanted his attention…
his love.
In my schooling and in my job…
Dad
In my schooling and in my job…
In my schooling and in my job…
I worked hard to make him proud.
And yet…
I wish I could see Kumi like this.
Be serious.
But my efforts were in vain.
I started making that face in tense situations…
without realizing it.
You making fun of me?
That's my 24 years.
Interesting.
I called you out at this hour just to…
talk your ear off. I'm sorry.
No
I'm glad you did.
That's such a relief.
Now that we're seeing each other…
I think you should know about me.
Well, I'm…
really glad.
The inn asked us to go easy on you
for stealing their money.
Yet I heard from the head teacher…
that you came crying to him to keep this a secret.
That's a lie!
Then we heard from the teacher you roomed with…
money was missing…
from her wallet.
I'll return everything
Was it you?
No! I mean it was a student who stole from the inn.
But he wouldn't admit it.
Yes or no?
Yes, but only…
Thief!
No, I can explain! Please wait.
Please come forward, I beg you!
If not, I'll be blamed for everything!
Why?
Because I was trying to protect you!
Why'd you do that? You hate me.
No!
No… I don't.
All right.
I confess. I stole the money.
We've asked Mr. Saeki to join us.
Tell the truth.
It was you who stole from the inn, right?
I didn't steal any money.
A few minutes ago…
Ms. Kawajiri threatened me…
telling me to take the blame.
You're despicable!
This isn't a joke!
At that moment, I felt my life was over.
I was summarily forced to resign.
Sis?
I'm leaving.
No, don't!
Don't go!
Let go of me. -No!
It's all your fault!
Because of you!
It's all because of you!
Matsuko!
No!
I know I've seen this face before somewhere.
She was crying.
She sat staring at the river
tears streaming from her face.
She was nuts, I tell you.
Don't "tsk-tsk" me.
Fuck!
Look! There!
It's him!
See!
Murderer!
("The New Testament")
Of course, my dad called
only to see if I'd finished the job.
She was a teacher, wasn't she?
Yeah. So?
And a good singer, too?
Who cares?
We cut all ties with her.
Why?
Because…
after she left, she became a "massage parlor girl."
And a murderer!
No way!
Hope to see you at the carnival
Outrageous swimming suits
The summer sun is too too hot
How you been, my little brother?
What do you want?
Nothing.
Living with a man?
An aspiring writer… very kind.
Liar, liar, liar!
It's because of you I can't write!
Go sell your body!
Earn some money!
Tetsuya!
What do you want?
Money.
I knew it.
You're a woman.
Get work as a hostess or something.
I won't do that kind of work.
Liar, liar, liar!
("White Nights" "Girls Wanted")
Okay, strip.
Right now?
Right now. Everything.
Sorry. You're not right.
How's Kumi?
She hasn't been the same. She mumbles.
Sometimes, she won't talk or eat for days.
You destroyed our family.
Don't ever come back.
You're dead to us.
And dad?
Is he angry with me?
Dad's dead.
Suffered a stroke on the toilet.
3 months after you left.
What?
What do I need to do
To earn your love
Please tell me
Okano-san?
I was just in the neighborhood.
How's Tetsuya's writing going?
He's my arch rival, you know.
He still drinks and gets violent?
He's spirited…
fancies himself as Osamu Dazai reborn.
To be frank, he's not…
Not what?
Welcome back.
I'll be going.
Get hired?
No, they didn't want me.
Is that so?
Did he see my work?
He's no writer. He works by day.
I've devoted my life!
I borrowed money from my brother.
With that face…
you asked for money?
He told me never to return.
So what?
Don't look so pathetic!
Strip! Remove your bra, now!
Goddammit!
That night…
Tetsuya vanished from my life,
leaving me with one phrase.
"Forgive me for being born."
At that moment…
I felt my life was over.
But 6 months later…
I was singing again.
Ah, the joy of love
When you arrive on my doorstep
On Happy Wednesday
Without you I cannot live
But once a week I get my fix
Welcome back!
I became Okano-san's lover.
I suppose I was jealous of Tetsuya.
He had talent and dedication.
And an attractive girl like you.
That hurts.
Tetsuya, huh?
Sorry… for reminding you.
See ya.
Are you the Missus?
Excuse me.
I'm looking for the Kawajiri residence.
No one by that name around here.
You are?
Sorry to bother you, ma'am.
I could beat her.
I just knew it.
Matsuko.
Welcome back.
Don't give me that!
Quiet!
I am!
You came to my house.
Okano's wife grew suspicious
and confronted him.
So he confessed our love affair.
That's okay. She doesn't suit you.
You don't love her, right? So break up…
How dare you?!
It's you I don't love. I've no wish to marry you.
Who can eat food this rich?
I just wanted what Tetsuya had.
I felt inferior to him.
When he died, I wanted to purge those feelings.
So I took his lover.
I don't understand. Please explain.
We're through. It's over between us.
What I did was wrong.
I let things get too far. But I couldn't resist.
You've a great body.
Please take this.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
WHY?
("White Nights")
Why?
Because my ex-lover told me…
I have a great body.
So?
I think I'm suited for this job.
Are you?
Well?
Hire her.
She's interesting.
Hands out.
Very nice. Good luck.
Love's a bubble Nothing but trouble
Let's play pretend love
Love's a bubble Full of trouble
So let me lather you up
Your new name is "Yukino."
Real love is taboo but I'll make you think it's true
Money can buy you satisfaction
Focus every bodily nerve on pleasing the customer.
(Shy as a virgin)
It's not attractive if it's thin.
Build that body, work up a sweat
Warm mind and trained arms
Build that body, work up a sweat
Ah, golden shower!
Our top girl this month is…
Yukino. Great work!
(Love Technicians!)
(Novices are in! Pros are out!)
Millions of bubbles turn to gold
(The generation is over.)
Millions of bubbles turn to gold
Soak up a bubble bath
Of freedom!
("Amateur Girls!")
Of freedom!
Times have changed.
Thanks for the memories.
We may be out of style but we still gotta live.
Maybe I'll open a diner.
Love's a bubble Nothing but trouble
Money is the only thing to love
With a bubble on top
Fired?
I'm home.
(Kozo Kawajiri, 1971)
(No word from Matsuko.)
(No word from Matsuko.)
Ever since I left home…
my father had ended each diary entry the same way.
(No word from Matsuko.)
Matsuko.
Daddy.
I knew it.
Kumi?
You came back!
My sister's back!
Sis!
Who are you?
Sis…
Matsuko-san?
Money.
For my brother!
No, don't leave!
(Matsuko, age 26, 1974)
You were crying in your sleep.
I'm fine.
I drifted around near my hometown…
and wound up with this man, Onodera.
He was a slimy pimp looking to get rich.
I no longer cared.
I just hated being alone.
And I wanted to get away.
I hate the rain. It brings bad memories.
Let's make some good ones, then.
Are we through?
Yes.
I want my share of the money.
6 month's worth of back pay.
It's gone.
I gave it all to her.
What?
Look at yourself!
You're washed up! No man will have you!
I'm moving with her.
The rain here never seemed to stop.
Stop that.
Matsuko!
Who do you think you are? I'll kill you!
I saw a face.
But I couldn't remember who he was.
Shit!
You clumsy bitch!
God, that hurts!
Call an ambulance!
Son of a bitch! I'll sue you!
It hurts like hell!
God damn you!
At that moment…
I was sure my life was over.
And yet…
my body wanted to stay alive.
Every child believes in a sparkling future.
Then you grow up…
and nothing goes as planned.
There's only pain, grief and anger.
It's all your fault.
My fault?
I'm sorry.
It's not really your fault.
It's my fault.
I realized something.
Why I felt so bored.
It's because…
I expected you to do everything for me.
And did nothing myself.
Hey, Sho?
A person's life…
isn't valued by what one receives.
But… by what one gives, right?
I've thought real hard.
And it's made me ask myself…
what can I do for you? Or for the world?
So I've decided…
(Peace Corps)
to join the Peace Corps
and go to Uzbekistan.
Uzbekistan?
See ya.
Wait!
Hello?
What was that?
Your life isn't over.
(The Widow is a Nympho!)
No, we mustn't!
(Starring Aoi Mizusawa)
As the widow was being ravished…
I fell asleep.
And had another bizarre dream.
I was being kidnapped by a porn star.
Junior?
Come with me.
It wasn't a dream.
Who are you? Watch it!
Hey!
You guys!
Wait!
You knew Matsuko?
No.
It hurts.
I'm her nephew! She's my dad's sister.
You're cute. What's your name?
Sho.
Sorry to alarm you.
I'm Sawamura Megumi.
(Sawamura Productions Adult Video Software)
A fan of yours, boss?
Oh my God, my debut film!
She and my aunt were old friends.
When the body was found…
Matsuko was clutching this woman's business card.
So the police called her.
They wouldn't tell me anything.
So I had my men stake out her apartment.
They saw you.
Have they found the killer?
Not yet.
But there was a man
she lived with 18 years ago.
The police are looking for him.
It's him.
Pardon me but…
how do you know my aunt?
I met her…
in prison.
After stabbing him, I ran to the station.
To go where?
I don't know.
I just went.
I took the Bullet Train to Tokyo.
Bullet Train?
I'd always wanted to ride it.
It was like a dream.
Skip it.
Before I knew it, I was in Tokyo… in Mitaka.
Mitaka?
I arrived at Tamagawa josui.
I wanted to die there.
Tetsuya
the only man who ever loved me…
believed he was the famous writer,
Osamu Dazai, reborn.
If so, I wanted to die where he took his life…
and join Tetsuya.
I don't quite follow.
But you didn't die.
I couldn't.
No water.
There's a dam up river. All you get is a trickle here.
He was a passerby.
And?
We went for a drink.
Attractive?
No. He was the sad, introverted type.
You were committing suicide.
He looked sad…
but had gentle eyes.
Nowhere to go?
I'm Kenji Shimazu, a barber.
Single?
No wife?
Killed in an auto accident 3 years ago.
He gave me a new look.
I felt new again.
We spent the night together.
I became his assistant.
Kenji
where'd you find such a beautiful wife?
Then one night…
I don't care what kind of past you've had.
All I know is I want to spend
the rest of my life with you.
Next thing I knew…
I was singing.
I couldn't find the words To even say good-bye
My heart knows only Fairytale endings
Look at that. A murderer singing happily.
Yeah but…
she sings nice.
Let's go.
Matsuko Kawajiri?
Give me a moment to get ready.
(Matsuko Kawajiri)
(sentenced to 8 years in prison for murder)
People wake up They work
They eat, they sleep
If that's life
Locked behind walls Nothing to do
How do they find The will to live
She did it for her family
She did it for pride
She did it for a precious memory
She lives for pleasure
She lives for money
I didn't know of her life before.
But she didn't look the least bit lost or scared.
She just did as she was told.
She was different.
She wakes up to the same routine
Same faces, same places
Is there someone waiting for you on the outside?
What do people think while living?
People you want to meet?
What are you living for?
No, there isn't.
What are you living for?
Not for any reason, nor anyone.
Not for any reason, nor anyone.
Matsuko!
Matsuko!
I live for love, where there is love
I can live on, for love is life
(Hairstylist vocational training)
What is this pain deep in my chest?
Bit by bit love's changing me
If God can let me live again
I know I can change
I will
Right now
Forever
March on
I live!
For love!
(Hairstylist License)
What will you do?
Live with Kenji.
He knows this?
We made a pledge.
Has he visited?
No, not once.
Matsuko.
You sure?
Matsuko.
He may not be waiting.
Matsuko.
For you and only you
I want to live again
I give myself all to you
I want to live
To hear your voice again
I've kept my heart alive
So say to me, dear Welcome home
Love is life
I'm back.
(Matsuko, age 34, 1982)
Every little girl…
dreams of being Snow White, Cinderella…
of living in a fairytale.
Then we wake up one day…
and see our white swan…
has become a black crow.
One life…
is all we get.
If it's a fairytale… it's a cruel one.
You listening?
Anyway…
we met again at a beauty salon in the Ginza.
Wow, what are the odds of that?
It was the salon's name.
The beauty salon in the Ginza…
had the same name as the salon in prison.
Still don't know?
It's me!
Megumi?
I'm married now… Megumi Sawamura.
Shut up!
No way!
To a man. Don't worry.
Really!
We hung out a lot.
Talked a lot.
I felt at ease with her.
I could tell her anything.
I'd just gone from stripper to porn actress.
You know, the video you have.
"The Widow is…"
"a Nympho!"
Not so loud!
Matsuko did my hair for it.
Did you cry?
No, why should I?
My manager-husband was right there.
It's nothing to cry over.
This world ain't gonna beat me!
Mark my words, Matsuko… I'm going to succeed.
With my husband. I promise.
Are you seeing anyone?
No.
We need another drink. Come on up.
I'm home!
Welcome back.
I'd better go.
Come on!
And then…somewhat suddenly…
she began to avoid me.
We made plans to celebrate her birthday together.
But she canceled.
She was jealous.
I mean…
I think I understand.
Oh you do, do you?
You two may have been alike.
But you have a husband.
You have life goals.
But my aunt…
was all alone.
Happy birthday.
She had no one.
No family.
There's you.
You're family.
What? But I never met her.
But I bet wherever she is…
she's hoping you'll get to know her.
She thinks you'll understand.
I'm sure of it.
Come on.
You resemble her.
No, I don't.
Soon after…
Why'd you quit the salon?
Open up!
Matsuko's got a cold. Come back later.
No way. I want to see her face.
Did you beat her?
Fuck off!
Matsuko! Leave this guy!
You leave.
Open your eyes!
He'll take you with him to Hell!
I said fuck off, bitch!
Listen to me.
With him, I'd gladly go to Hell or anywhere!
That's my happiness.
You've no right to lecture me.
Suit yourself.
Days later, I returned.
But they were long gone.
Funny thing is…
when she was telling me off…
she looked beautiful.
But when I ran into her 18 years later…
I couldn't believe my eyes.
Matsuko Kawajiri-san!
Matsuko?
When the two met 18 years later at a hospital…
Matsuko avoided her. All Megumi could do…
was stuff a business card in her hand.
The following day…
she was found dead.
I wish I could've done more for her.
Instead…
Megumi Sawamura gave me a present.
3 of her new porn movies.
and a deeply erotic kiss.
Sho…
Your aunt was 10 times hotter than I ever was.
Who are you?
You!
Don't run!
Listen to me!
Murderer!
Wait! Please!
Something told me…
I should listen to him.
I'm looking for Matsuko.
Do you know… where she is?
He knew nothing.
Matsuko Kawajiri is dead.
He'd heard my aunt had moved to this town.
And had been searching for her.
I'm a fool.
Who are you?
My name's…
Ryu.
Remember me?
Ryu?
And the woman?
Boss's girl.
You're yakuza.
So? What do you want?
What…
To talk to you, my teacher.
You… haven't changed a bit.
I'm sorry. I'll go.
Nice seeing you.
You could…
drive me home.
Matsuko told me all that had happened to her…
since leaving the school.
Disowned by family…
dumped by various lovers…
massage parlor girl, murder, time in prison…
everything.
It's my fault.
What is?
It's my fault you got fired.
Hey, tell me.
Who really stole the money?
I did.
You hated me that much?
Just the opposite.
I was crazy about you.
I don't know…
why I did that to you?
I hate the rain.
I'm home.
It's Hell if I stay.
Hell if I go.
If both are Hell…
Teacher!
Call me Matsuko.
I love you.
Really? -Yes.
Forever? -Yes.
Don't let go.
I won't let go… Matsuko.
Say it again.
I won't let go.
Again. -I won't let go.
Again. -I won't let go.
Again. -I won't let go.
Please… again.
I won't…
Again. -Say it!
Again. -Enough!
Where you going?
To work. Aren't you?
I called to say I quit.
Don't do anything dangerous, please!
Shut up!
Don't tell me what to do!
That's okay. I don't mind being hit.
It's better than being alone.
How beautiful.
If you love me, get out of this!
I don't want to lose you!
Don't nag me!
That's okay.
Hit me or kill me.
It's better than being alone.
Why'd you quit the salon?
Open up, Matsuko!
Matsuko's got a cold. Come back later.
No way. I want to see her face.
Matsuko! Leave this guy!
You leave.
Open your eyes!
He'll take you with him to Hell!
I said fuck off, bitch!
Shut up!
Listen to me.
With him, I'd gladly go to Hell or anywhere!
That's my happiness.
You've no right to lecture me.
I give up!
I don't care!
Do what you want!
What?
I won't ask you to quit again.
If you're yakuza, then I'm a yakuza girl.
As long we're together… I don't mind.
From that point on, I lived for Ryu.
And did as he wished.
He had me work as a hostess at some strange bar…
sleep with strange men…
deliver strange packages…
to strangers from strange lands.
Stay by my side, my love
Warm my freezing heart
I kept dreaming of a bright future with him.
Matsuko! Pack up and get out of there quick!
Meet me at Hotel Wakaba.
Hurry!
Ryu was my everything.
My path followed his.
It was sheer bliss.
Stay by my side, my love
Warm my freezing heart
Tell me you're only joking When you talk of
Breaking up -Matsuko.
Ryu!
What happened?
I gambled away the gang's money.
They found out.
They're looking for me.
We've got to leave Tokyo.
Go north.
I'll go anywhere… anywhere with you!
I want a child.
Mine?
We'll be a family… the three of us.
Silly thoughts.
They're here.
We've got an hour.
Will they kill us?
You afraid to die?
I came prepared for that.
Forget it.
Police?
I've murdered someone.
Come arrest me.
That son-of-bitch!
Twice now, I had made a mess of Matsuko's life.
But my feelings for Ryu hadn't changed.
All I did was hurt people.
Despite the hurt…
I made no one happy.
I love Ryu.
Matsuko.
Ryu.
The best I can do for her…
The best I can do for him…
is to disappear from her life.
is to wait for him.
Matsuko…
good-bye.
(Matsuko, age 40, 1988)
Welcome back.
Ryu?
I waited for you… all this time.
Why?
I was afraid.
To a person like me…
who had never known love…
Matsuko's passion
was just so intense…
painful…
terrifying.
"God is love."
I'm not sure why those words grabbed me.
But I found I couldn't ignore them.
God is love.
Tell me what that means!
Please.
Have you ever hated someone
with all your soul?
If so, can you pray for them with all your soul?
I can't.
That's okay.
We humans are weak.
We aren't capable of loving our enemies.
But with God's strength…
it's possible.
God forgives the sinfulness and loves them…
unconditionally.
God forgives the sinfulness.
And loves them…
unconditionally.
Welcome back.
Matsuko!
Matsuko was…
my God.
What did I do?
Please don't do that.
Yoichi Ryu?
Detective.
The police suspect you.
That's okay.
I killed her!
I killed Matsuko!
He wanted to return to jail.
And why not?
The outside world had no longer meaning for him.
He didn't kill my aunt.
We know that. We just wanted to question him.
In fact, we caught the culprit.
What?
My dad was drunk
when I told him who killed Aunt Matsuko.
All he said was, "Oh."
That's all?
A friend of Aunt Matsuko…
told me I resemble her.
I wish I could've met her… just once.
My aunt.
You have.
Reach out Stretch up high
And grab a star
Stretch up High as you can
And touch the sky
Hi there.
Hi.
Sho! Come here!
He's yours? Sho?
Why're you back?
No reason.
I came to see this river.
Well, Sho…
you're my nephew.
You're dead to us.
How's Kumi?
Died last autumn.
Pneumonia.
Know what her last words were?
"Welcome home…"
"big sister."
Then she died.
Get out.
Norio…
Hurry.
Don't come back.
Bye bye!
Bye bye!
I'd met this face.
There's a river here…
right near Aunt's apartment.
She was often
seen sitting by it and crying.
Dad?
It looks just like the river…
back home.
I rented an apartment near a river
that reminded me of home.
I would trust no one… love no one.
Let no one into my life.
The new era is called "Heisei" (1989-present)
I did nothing…
but ate and got drunk…
Sometimes, I'd stare at the river and think of home.
This isn't a garbage dump!
I didn't clean, get dressed or wear makeup.
I barely breathed.
I was waiting to die.
But then you appeared.
Your smile, your unclouded eyes…
sent a ray of light into my darkened world.
Dear Koji Uchiumi…
I went crazy for you.
I saw only you.
Just watching you…
was sheer bliss.
So now I'm writing you this fan letter.
I'm sorry if it's running long.
But I wanted you to learn
a little about the life you're saving.
I want you to understand.
Thanks for reading this far.
And if it's not too much trouble…
write me back.
Bundle yourself up
And speak to the wind
Then spread your arms
And soak up the sun
Good-bye everyone
See you tomorrow
Reach out Stretch up high
If you get hungry Head for home
Sing as you walk
And head for home
Why?
Why won't you write me?!
Shut the fuck up!
(Matsuko, age 51, 1999)
Ugh!
Meaningless.
Meanignless.
Life is meaningless.
(Forgive me for being born.)
Hey you!
(Matsuko, age 53, 2001)
Matsuko. Matsuko Kawajiri.
Matsuko?
Is that you?
Don't you recognize me?
Sorry, I'm in a rush.
What're you doing now?
Do you work?
No.
I've been looking to hire a hair stylist.
Stop it!
Sorry. I'm in a hurry.
Matsuko!
Call me anytime… if you change your mind.
Call me, Matsuko!
(Sawamura Productions Adult Video Software)
Megumi?
Who needs you?
A life isn't valued by what one receives.
But by what one gives.
Those were my girlfriend's words.
Aunt
your life was…?
I'm home.
Your hair's a mess.
That's better.
I can still do this.
Megumi!
Her card.
Ryu had called Aunt Matsuko his God.
This chronically clumsy and unhappy person…
a God.
I've never thought much about God.
But if God does exist in this world…
Beautiful.
he'd be someone like my aunt, giving of himself…
encouraging people…
loving them…
while she grew ever more tattered and scarred…
and out of style.
Someone utterly unpolished.
That's a God I could believe in.
Aunt Matsuko!
A little late to be out, isn't it?
Junior high, right?
Hurry home, kids.
Go home!
Old hag!
Old hag?
Big Sis?
Big Sis!
Reach out Stretch up high
And grab a star
Stretch up High as you can
And touch the sky
Bundle yourself up
And speak to the wind
Then spread your arms
And soak up the sun
Reach out Stretch up high
And grab a star
Reach out High as you can
And touch the sky
Good-bye everyone
See you tomorrow
Reach out Stretch up high
If you get hungry Head for home
Sing as you walk
And head for home
Welcome back.
I'm home.
But only a handful of people
see their dreams realized.
Want to be a star?
You're perfect!
The rest of us…
accept our fate…
fall into ruin…
kill ourselves…
Let's break up.
laugh it off…
Don't come near!
turn to a life of crime
Life with you…
is a terrible bore.
I feel like dying.
You have no way out.
At any rate…
the future's hopeless.
You quit your band.
So now what?
Sex!
Sex!
Sex!
It's not too late!
Shut up!
You can start over!
Star Over!
Fuck it.
And then a familiar voice called to me.
Reach out Stretch up high
And grab a star
Matsuko!
Hi, Son.
Dad!
I need a favor of you.
I need a favor of you.
I hadn't seen my Dad in 2 years.
Ever since I left home at 18 for Tokyo…
to become a musician.
What's that?
Ashes.
Mom?
I never told you
I had an older sister, Matsuko.
She vanished about 30 years ago.
She was found dead in a park 3 days ago.
My dad came to Tokyo to cremate her.
She was 53…
living alone in an apartment.
My dad had to return home that day.
So he asked me to go clean up her apartment.
She was hopeless.
And now she's been murdered.
Murdered?
The killer's still at large.
Her life was meaningless.
Her life was meaningless.
Meaningless.
4 pm, July 10, 2001.
The body of a middle-aged woman
was found on a riverbank.
According to the police…
she was identified as Matsuko Kawajiri.
A tenant of a run-down apartment building.
She had been severely beaten…
"Murder, Say Police"
What a mess!
A teen idol band?
Concrete jungle!
Disgusting.
This is her?
Aunt Matsuko?
That was scribbled by the lady who died 4 days ago.
She was…
a nuisance.
A neighborhood pest.
Fuckin' crazy!
Well, I'm her relative.
Well, I'm her relative.
Her neighbor, Shuji.
Despite his anti-social demeanor…
My body is my canvas.
He was oddly friendly.
She is a nuisance in the apartment.
People called the lady here "Matsuko the Outcast."
Never threw out her trash. Never said a word.
She smelled weird.
Sometimes, she'd scream her head off.
Teen idols?
I often saw her on the riverbank
just staring at the water.
River?
Mystifying.
Not for the hero detective.
Hi, Officer!
Fuckin' scary!
Seen him? He lived with the victim 18 years ago.
He was released from prison last month.
You think he did it?
Don't know. But he's been spotted around here.
Hey, you!
What do you know of her?
Nothing.
She liked teen idols?
Her life…
was meaningless.
"Forgive me…"
"Forgive me for being born."
Who was she?
Schoolteacher.
A junior high teacher.
Popular, too. Beautiful voice.
Over the moon, the sky shinning.
(Matsuko, age 23, 1971)
a star sparkles
That's where hope lies
Kownledge is endless
And stars reach into endlessness
Then came an incident at a school outing.
Get back to your rooms.
A student stole money…
from the inn's shop.
About 100.
Ryu was missing from dinner last night.
So what?
He was the only one missing.
Don't accuse him!
We're not accusing him.
We just want you to talk to him.
He's your student! -Yes, Sir!
Do it!
Yes, Sir!
I'll join you.
For moral support.
That's okay. I'm his teacher.
I trust my students.
I selected my words carefully
so as not to hurt his feelings.
Did you take the money?
I believe you but the other teachers…
I'd like to hear it from you.
You think I did it.
If it's returned, the owner won't call the police.
We'll apologize together.
Forget it!
Oh no.
Is it me?
My fault?
No, Ryu's to blame.
He stole!
Damn you!
Wait, I know!
I'll return the money myself…
and say I got it from the remorseful student.
Not enough!
How to do…
I'll pay it right back!
I promise!
He feels terrible about it!
Then bring him here.
He needs to apologize!
Let's go see him, then.
No!
Yes!
You making fun of me?
Um… no.
Just then…
It wasn't him.
I just wanted this over.
I took it!
I took the money!
You were letting your students take the blame…
for a crime you committed?
I'm sorry!
I wasn't going to the police anyway.
Ms. Kawajiri?
But why?
Let's not tell the other teachers.
We'll let the inn believe you did it.
And the school will pretend nothing happened.
We've no other choice.
As for you, Ms. Kawajiri…
I'm sorry.
How sorry?
Well…
Show me with actions, not words!
Yes, sir!
If you're really sorry, then show me your breasts.
Show me! -Yes.
Now!
Yes.
Ms. Kawajiri?
It was all a mistake by the inn.
Yes.
People can be so silly.
Ms. Kawajiri?
He looked me in the eye and said…
How would you like…
to go bowling on Sunday?
Then I said…
"Are you asking me out on a date?"
Then he blushed.
Yes.
Is he handsome?
Yes, and his teeth!
Sparkling white.
Good for you, Sis.
Thanks.
I promise to be happy.
Why'd you tell your sister you have a date?
You know she's ill.
She can't go out.
She can't date.
Have you considered her feelings?
Have you no sympathy?
Hi, Sis.
I don't feel…
the least bit sorry for you!
Matsuko!
Dad had always been like this.
(Matsuko, age 7, 1955)
Reach out Stretch up high
And grab a star
Stretch up high as you can
He adored my sick sister, Kumi.
I was always alone.
But one time…
after visiting Kumi in the hospital,
he took me to a department store.
I ate pancakes for the first time.
It was just the two of us.
I walk the road where candy trees grow
I dance in the woods in magical shoes
Nobody hates the smile on my face
And every word I say turns into music
Because of Kumi's illness, dad was always sad.
But I made him smile.
After that, I tried to win his favor by making that face.
I wanted his attention…
his love.
In my schooling and in my job…
Dad
In my schooling and in my job…
In my schooling and in my job…
I worked hard to make him proud.
And yet…
I wish I could see Kumi like this.
Be serious.
But my efforts were in vain.
I started making that face in tense situations…
without realizing it.
You making fun of me?
That's my 24 years.
Interesting.
I called you out at this hour just to…
talk your ear off. I'm sorry.
No
I'm glad you did.
That's such a relief.
Now that we're seeing each other…
I think you should know about me.
Well, I'm…
really glad.
The inn asked us to go easy on you
for stealing their money.
Yet I heard from the head teacher…
that you came crying to him to keep this a secret.
That's a lie!
Then we heard from the teacher you roomed with…
money was missing…
from her wallet.
I'll return everything
Was it you?
No! I mean it was a student who stole from the inn.
But he wouldn't admit it.
Yes or no?
Yes, but only…
Thief!
No, I can explain! Please wait.
Please come forward, I beg you!
If not, I'll be blamed for everything!
Why?
Because I was trying to protect you!
Why'd you do that? You hate me.
No!
No… I don't.
All right.
I confess. I stole the money.
We've asked Mr. Saeki to join us.
Tell the truth.
It was you who stole from the inn, right?
I didn't steal any money.
A few minutes ago…
Ms. Kawajiri threatened me…
telling me to take the blame.
You're despicable!
This isn't a joke!
At that moment, I felt my life was over.
I was summarily forced to resign.
Sis?
I'm leaving.
No, don't!
Don't go!
Let go of me. -No!
It's all your fault!
Because of you!
It's all because of you!
Matsuko!
No!
I know I've seen this face before somewhere.
She was crying.
She sat staring at the river
tears streaming from her face.
She was nuts, I tell you.
Don't "tsk-tsk" me.
Fuck!
Look! There!
It's him!
See!
Murderer!
("The New Testament")
Of course, my dad called
only to see if I'd finished the job.
She was a teacher, wasn't she?
Yeah. So?
And a good singer, too?
Who cares?
We cut all ties with her.
Why?
Because…
after she left, she became a "massage parlor girl."
And a murderer!
No way!
Hope to see you at the carnival
Outrageous swimming suits
The summer sun is too too hot
How you been, my little brother?
What do you want?
Nothing.
Living with a man?
An aspiring writer… very kind.
Liar, liar, liar!
It's because of you I can't write!
Go sell your body!
Earn some money!
Tetsuya!
What do you want?
Money.
I knew it.
You're a woman.
Get work as a hostess or something.
I won't do that kind of work.
Liar, liar, liar!
("White Nights" "Girls Wanted")
Okay, strip.
Right now?
Right now. Everything.
Sorry. You're not right.
How's Kumi?
She hasn't been the same. She mumbles.
Sometimes, she won't talk or eat for days.
You destroyed our family.
Don't ever come back.
You're dead to us.
And dad?
Is he angry with me?
Dad's dead.
Suffered a stroke on the toilet.
3 months after you left.
What?
What do I need to do
To earn your love
Please tell me
Okano-san?
I was just in the neighborhood.
How's Tetsuya's writing going?
He's my arch rival, you know.
He still drinks and gets violent?
He's spirited…
fancies himself as Osamu Dazai reborn.
To be frank, he's not…
Not what?
Welcome back.
I'll be going.
Get hired?
No, they didn't want me.
Is that so?
Did he see my work?
He's no writer. He works by day.
I've devoted my life!
I borrowed money from my brother.
With that face…
you asked for money?
He told me never to return.
So what?
Don't look so pathetic!
Strip! Remove your bra, now!
Goddammit!
That night…
Tetsuya vanished from my life,
leaving me with one phrase.
"Forgive me for being born."
At that moment…
I felt my life was over.
But 6 months later…
I was singing again.
Ah, the joy of love
When you arrive on my doorstep
On Happy Wednesday
Without you I cannot live
But once a week I get my fix
Welcome back!
I became Okano-san's lover.
I suppose I was jealous of Tetsuya.
He had talent and dedication.
And an attractive girl like you.
That hurts.
Tetsuya, huh?
Sorry… for reminding you.
See ya.
Are you the Missus?
Excuse me.
I'm looking for the Kawajiri residence.
No one by that name around here.
You are?
Sorry to bother you, ma'am.
I could beat her.
I just knew it.
Matsuko.
Welcome back.
Don't give me that!
Quiet!
I am!
You came to my house.
Okano's wife grew suspicious
and confronted him.
So he confessed our love affair.
That's okay. She doesn't suit you.
You don't love her, right? So break up…
How dare you?!
It's you I don't love. I've no wish to marry you.
Who can eat food this rich?
I just wanted what Tetsuya had.
I felt inferior to him.
When he died, I wanted to purge those feelings.
So I took his lover.
I don't understand. Please explain.
We're through. It's over between us.
What I did was wrong.
I let things get too far. But I couldn't resist.
You've a great body.
Please take this.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
WHY?
("White Nights")
Why?
Because my ex-lover told me…
I have a great body.
So?
I think I'm suited for this job.
Are you?
Well?
Hire her.
She's interesting.
Hands out.
Very nice. Good luck.
Love's a bubble Nothing but trouble
Let's play pretend love
Love's a bubble Full of trouble
So let me lather you up
Your new name is "Yukino."
Real love is taboo but I'll make you think it's true
Money can buy you satisfaction
Focus every bodily nerve on pleasing the customer.
(Shy as a virgin)
It's not attractive if it's thin.
Build that body, work up a sweat
Warm mind and trained arms
Build that body, work up a sweat
Ah, golden shower!
Our top girl this month is…
Yukino. Great work!
(Love Technicians!)
(Novices are in! Pros are out!)
Millions of bubbles turn to gold
(The generation is over.)
Millions of bubbles turn to gold
Soak up a bubble bath
Of freedom!
("Amateur Girls!")
Of freedom!
Times have changed.
Thanks for the memories.
We may be out of style but we still gotta live.
Maybe I'll open a diner.
Love's a bubble Nothing but trouble
Money is the only thing to love
With a bubble on top
Fired?
I'm home.
(Kozo Kawajiri, 1971)
(No word from Matsuko.)
(No word from Matsuko.)
Ever since I left home…
my father had ended each diary entry the same way.
(No word from Matsuko.)
Matsuko.
Daddy.
I knew it.
Kumi?
You came back!
My sister's back!
Sis!
Who are you?
Sis…
Matsuko-san?
Money.
For my brother!
No, don't leave!
(Matsuko, age 26, 1974)
You were crying in your sleep.
I'm fine.
I drifted around near my hometown…
and wound up with this man, Onodera.
He was a slimy pimp looking to get rich.
I no longer cared.
I just hated being alone.
And I wanted to get away.
I hate the rain. It brings bad memories.
Let's make some good ones, then.
Are we through?
Yes.
I want my share of the money.
6 month's worth of back pay.
It's gone.
I gave it all to her.
What?
Look at yourself!
You're washed up! No man will have you!
I'm moving with her.
The rain here never seemed to stop.
Stop that.
Matsuko!
Who do you think you are? I'll kill you!
I saw a face.
But I couldn't remember who he was.
Shit!
You clumsy bitch!
God, that hurts!
Call an ambulance!
Son of a bitch! I'll sue you!
It hurts like hell!
God damn you!
At that moment…
I was sure my life was over.
And yet…
my body wanted to stay alive.
Every child believes in a sparkling future.
Then you grow up…
and nothing goes as planned.
There's only pain, grief and anger.
It's all your fault.
My fault?
I'm sorry.
It's not really your fault.
It's my fault.
I realized something.
Why I felt so bored.
It's because…
I expected you to do everything for me.
And did nothing myself.
Hey, Sho?
A person's life…
isn't valued by what one receives.
But… by what one gives, right?
I've thought real hard.
And it's made me ask myself…
what can I do for you? Or for the world?
So I've decided…
(Peace Corps)
to join the Peace Corps
and go to Uzbekistan.
Uzbekistan?
See ya.
Wait!
Hello?
What was that?
Your life isn't over.
(The Widow is a Nympho!)
No, we mustn't!
(Starring Aoi Mizusawa)
As the widow was being ravished…
I fell asleep.
And had another bizarre dream.
I was being kidnapped by a porn star.
Junior?
Come with me.
It wasn't a dream.
Who are you? Watch it!
Hey!
You guys!
Wait!
You knew Matsuko?
No.
It hurts.
I'm her nephew! She's my dad's sister.
You're cute. What's your name?
Sho.
Sorry to alarm you.
I'm Sawamura Megumi.
(Sawamura Productions Adult Video Software)
A fan of yours, boss?
Oh my God, my debut film!
She and my aunt were old friends.
When the body was found…
Matsuko was clutching this woman's business card.
So the police called her.
They wouldn't tell me anything.
So I had my men stake out her apartment.
They saw you.
Have they found the killer?
Not yet.
But there was a man
she lived with 18 years ago.
The police are looking for him.
It's him.
Pardon me but…
how do you know my aunt?
I met her…
in prison.
After stabbing him, I ran to the station.
To go where?
I don't know.
I just went.
I took the Bullet Train to Tokyo.
Bullet Train?
I'd always wanted to ride it.
It was like a dream.
Skip it.
Before I knew it, I was in Tokyo… in Mitaka.
Mitaka?
I arrived at Tamagawa josui.
I wanted to die there.
Tetsuya
the only man who ever loved me…
believed he was the famous writer,
Osamu Dazai, reborn.
If so, I wanted to die where he took his life…
and join Tetsuya.
I don't quite follow.
But you didn't die.
I couldn't.
No water.
There's a dam up river. All you get is a trickle here.
He was a passerby.
And?
We went for a drink.
Attractive?
No. He was the sad, introverted type.
You were committing suicide.
He looked sad…
but had gentle eyes.
Nowhere to go?
I'm Kenji Shimazu, a barber.
Single?
No wife?
Killed in an auto accident 3 years ago.
He gave me a new look.
I felt new again.
We spent the night together.
I became his assistant.
Kenji
where'd you find such a beautiful wife?
Then one night…
I don't care what kind of past you've had.
All I know is I want to spend
the rest of my life with you.
Next thing I knew…
I was singing.
I couldn't find the words To even say good-bye
My heart knows only Fairytale endings
Look at that. A murderer singing happily.
Yeah but…
she sings nice.
Let's go.
Matsuko Kawajiri?
Give me a moment to get ready.
(Matsuko Kawajiri)
(sentenced to 8 years in prison for murder)
People wake up They work
They eat, they sleep
If that's life
Locked behind walls Nothing to do
How do they find The will to live
She did it for her family
She did it for pride
She did it for a precious memory
She lives for pleasure
She lives for money
I didn't know of her life before.
But she didn't look the least bit lost or scared.
She just did as she was told.
She was different.
She wakes up to the same routine
Same faces, same places
Is there someone waiting for you on the outside?
What do people think while living?
People you want to meet?
What are you living for?
No, there isn't.
What are you living for?
Not for any reason, nor anyone.
Not for any reason, nor anyone.
Matsuko!
Matsuko!
I live for love, where there is love
I can live on, for love is life
(Hairstylist vocational training)
What is this pain deep in my chest?
Bit by bit love's changing me
If God can let me live again
I know I can change
I will
Right now
Forever
March on
I live!
For love!
(Hairstylist License)
What will you do?
Live with Kenji.
He knows this?
We made a pledge.
Has he visited?
No, not once.
Matsuko.
You sure?
Matsuko.
He may not be waiting.
Matsuko.
For you and only you
I want to live again
I give myself all to you
I want to live
To hear your voice again
I've kept my heart alive
So say to me, dear Welcome home
Love is life
I'm back.
(Matsuko, age 34, 1982)
Every little girl…
dreams of being Snow White, Cinderella…
of living in a fairytale.
Then we wake up one day…
and see our white swan…
has become a black crow.
One life…
is all we get.
If it's a fairytale… it's a cruel one.
You listening?
Anyway…
we met again at a beauty salon in the Ginza.
Wow, what are the odds of that?
It was the salon's name.
The beauty salon in the Ginza…
had the same name as the salon in prison.
Still don't know?
It's me!
Megumi?
I'm married now… Megumi Sawamura.
Shut up!
No way!
To a man. Don't worry.
Really!
We hung out a lot.
Talked a lot.
I felt at ease with her.
I could tell her anything.
I'd just gone from stripper to porn actress.
You know, the video you have.
"The Widow is…"
"a Nympho!"
Not so loud!
Matsuko did my hair for it.
Did you cry?
No, why should I?
My manager-husband was right there.
It's nothing to cry over.
This world ain't gonna beat me!
Mark my words, Matsuko… I'm going to succeed.
With my husband. I promise.
Are you seeing anyone?
No.
We need another drink. Come on up.
I'm home!
Welcome back.
I'd better go.
Come on!
And then…somewhat suddenly…
she began to avoid me.
We made plans to celebrate her birthday together.
But she canceled.
She was jealous.
I mean…
I think I understand.
Oh you do, do you?
You two may have been alike.
But you have a husband.
You have life goals.
But my aunt…
was all alone.
Happy birthday.
She had no one.
No family.
There's you.
You're family.
What? But I never met her.
But I bet wherever she is…
she's hoping you'll get to know her.
She thinks you'll understand.
I'm sure of it.
Come on.
You resemble her.
No, I don't.
Soon after…
Why'd you quit the salon?
Open up!
Matsuko's got a cold. Come back later.
No way. I want to see her face.
Did you beat her?
Fuck off!
Matsuko! Leave this guy!
You leave.
Open your eyes!
He'll take you with him to Hell!
I said fuck off, bitch!
Listen to me.
With him, I'd gladly go to Hell or anywhere!
That's my happiness.
You've no right to lecture me.
Suit yourself.
Days later, I returned.
But they were long gone.
Funny thing is…
when she was telling me off…
she looked beautiful.
But when I ran into her 18 years later…
I couldn't believe my eyes.
Matsuko Kawajiri-san!
Matsuko?
When the two met 18 years later at a hospital…
Matsuko avoided her. All Megumi could do…
was stuff a business card in her hand.
The following day…
she was found dead.
I wish I could've done more for her.
Instead…
Megumi Sawamura gave me a present.
3 of her new porn movies.
and a deeply erotic kiss.
Sho…
Your aunt was 10 times hotter than I ever was.
Who are you?
You!
Don't run!
Listen to me!
Murderer!
Wait! Please!
Something told me…
I should listen to him.
I'm looking for Matsuko.
Do you know… where she is?
He knew nothing.
Matsuko Kawajiri is dead.
He'd heard my aunt had moved to this town.
And had been searching for her.
I'm a fool.
Who are you?
My name's…
Ryu.
Remember me?
Ryu?
And the woman?
Boss's girl.
You're yakuza.
So? What do you want?
What…
To talk to you, my teacher.
You… haven't changed a bit.
I'm sorry. I'll go.
Nice seeing you.
You could…
drive me home.
Matsuko told me all that had happened to her…
since leaving the school.
Disowned by family…
dumped by various lovers…
massage parlor girl, murder, time in prison…
everything.
It's my fault.
What is?
It's my fault you got fired.
Hey, tell me.
Who really stole the money?
I did.
You hated me that much?
Just the opposite.
I was crazy about you.
I don't know…
why I did that to you?
I hate the rain.
I'm home.
It's Hell if I stay.
Hell if I go.
If both are Hell…
Teacher!
Call me Matsuko.
I love you.
Really? -Yes.
Forever? -Yes.
Don't let go.
I won't let go… Matsuko.
Say it again.
I won't let go.
Again. -I won't let go.
Again. -I won't let go.
Again. -I won't let go.
Please… again.
I won't…
Again. -Say it!
Again. -Enough!
Where you going?
To work. Aren't you?
I called to say I quit.
Don't do anything dangerous, please!
Shut up!
Don't tell me what to do!
That's okay. I don't mind being hit.
It's better than being alone.
How beautiful.
If you love me, get out of this!
I don't want to lose you!
Don't nag me!
That's okay.
Hit me or kill me.
It's better than being alone.
Why'd you quit the salon?
Open up, Matsuko!
Matsuko's got a cold. Come back later.
No way. I want to see her face.
Matsuko! Leave this guy!
You leave.
Open your eyes!
He'll take you with him to Hell!
I said fuck off, bitch!
Shut up!
Listen to me.
With him, I'd gladly go to Hell or anywhere!
That's my happiness.
You've no right to lecture me.
I give up!
I don't care!
Do what you want!
What?
I won't ask you to quit again.
If you're yakuza, then I'm a yakuza girl.
As long we're together… I don't mind.
From that point on, I lived for Ryu.
And did as he wished.
He had me work as a hostess at some strange bar…
sleep with strange men…
deliver strange packages…
to strangers from strange lands.
Stay by my side, my love
Warm my freezing heart
I kept dreaming of a bright future with him.
Matsuko! Pack up and get out of there quick!
Meet me at Hotel Wakaba.
Hurry!
Ryu was my everything.
My path followed his.
It was sheer bliss.
Stay by my side, my love
Warm my freezing heart
Tell me you're only joking When you talk of
Breaking up -Matsuko.
Ryu!
What happened?
I gambled away the gang's money.
They found out.
They're looking for me.
We've got to leave Tokyo.
Go north.
I'll go anywhere… anywhere with you!
I want a child.
Mine?
We'll be a family… the three of us.
Silly thoughts.
They're here.
We've got an hour.
Will they kill us?
You afraid to die?
I came prepared for that.
Forget it.
Police?
I've murdered someone.
Come arrest me.
That son-of-bitch!
Twice now, I had made a mess of Matsuko's life.
But my feelings for Ryu hadn't changed.
All I did was hurt people.
Despite the hurt…
I made no one happy.
I love Ryu.
Matsuko.
Ryu.
The best I can do for her…
The best I can do for him…
is to disappear from her life.
is to wait for him.
Matsuko…
good-bye.
(Matsuko, age 40, 1988)
Welcome back.
Ryu?
I waited for you… all this time.
Why?
I was afraid.
To a person like me…
who had never known love…
Matsuko's passion
was just so intense…
painful…
terrifying.
"God is love."
I'm not sure why those words grabbed me.
But I found I couldn't ignore them.
God is love.
Tell me what that means!
Please.
Have you ever hated someone
with all your soul?
If so, can you pray for them with all your soul?
I can't.
That's okay.
We humans are weak.
We aren't capable of loving our enemies.
But with God's strength…
it's possible.
God forgives the sinfulness and loves them…
unconditionally.
God forgives the sinfulness.
And loves them…
unconditionally.
Welcome back.
Matsuko!
Matsuko was…
my God.
What did I do?
Please don't do that.
Yoichi Ryu?
Detective.
The police suspect you.
That's okay.
I killed her!
I killed Matsuko!
He wanted to return to jail.
And why not?
The outside world had no longer meaning for him.
He didn't kill my aunt.
We know that. We just wanted to question him.
In fact, we caught the culprit.
What?
My dad was drunk
when I told him who killed Aunt Matsuko.
All he said was, "Oh."
That's all?
A friend of Aunt Matsuko…
told me I resemble her.
I wish I could've met her… just once.
My aunt.
You have.
Reach out Stretch up high
And grab a star
Stretch up High as you can
And touch the sky
Hi there.
Hi.
Sho! Come here!
He's yours? Sho?
Why're you back?
No reason.
I came to see this river.
Well, Sho…
you're my nephew.
You're dead to us.
How's Kumi?
Died last autumn.
Pneumonia.
Know what her last words were?
"Welcome home…"
"big sister."
Then she died.
Get out.
Norio…
Hurry.
Don't come back.
Bye bye!
Bye bye!
I'd met this face.
There's a river here…
right near Aunt's apartment.
She was often
seen sitting by it and crying.
Dad?
It looks just like the river…
back home.
I rented an apartment near a river
that reminded me of home.
I would trust no one… love no one.
Let no one into my life.
The new era is called "Heisei" (1989-present)
I did nothing…
but ate and got drunk…
Sometimes, I'd stare at the river and think of home.
This isn't a garbage dump!
I didn't clean, get dressed or wear makeup.
I barely breathed.
I was waiting to die.
But then you appeared.
Your smile, your unclouded eyes…
sent a ray of light into my darkened world.
Dear Koji Uchiumi…
I went crazy for you.
I saw only you.
Just watching you…
was sheer bliss.
So now I'm writing you this fan letter.
I'm sorry if it's running long.
But I wanted you to learn
a little about the life you're saving.
I want you to understand.
Thanks for reading this far.
And if it's not too much trouble…
write me back.
Bundle yourself up
And speak to the wind
Then spread your arms
And soak up the sun
Good-bye everyone
See you tomorrow
Reach out Stretch up high
If you get hungry Head for home
Sing as you walk
And head for home
Why?
Why won't you write me?!
Shut the fuck up!
(Matsuko, age 51, 1999)
Ugh!
Meaningless.
Meanignless.
Life is meaningless.
(Forgive me for being born.)
Hey you!
(Matsuko, age 53, 2001)
Matsuko. Matsuko Kawajiri.
Matsuko?
Is that you?
Don't you recognize me?
Sorry, I'm in a rush.
What're you doing now?
Do you work?
No.
I've been looking to hire a hair stylist.
Stop it!
Sorry. I'm in a hurry.
Matsuko!
Call me anytime… if you change your mind.
Call me, Matsuko!
(Sawamura Productions Adult Video Software)
Megumi?
Who needs you?
A life isn't valued by what one receives.
But by what one gives.
Those were my girlfriend's words.
Aunt
your life was…?
I'm home.
Your hair's a mess.
That's better.
I can still do this.
Megumi!
Her card.
Ryu had called Aunt Matsuko his God.
This chronically clumsy and unhappy person…
a God.
I've never thought much about God.
But if God does exist in this world…
Beautiful.
he'd be someone like my aunt, giving of himself…
encouraging people…
loving them…
while she grew ever more tattered and scarred…
and out of style.
Someone utterly unpolished.
That's a God I could believe in.
Aunt Matsuko!
A little late to be out, isn't it?
Junior high, right?
Hurry home, kids.
Go home!
Old hag!
Old hag?
Big Sis?
Big Sis!
Reach out Stretch up high
And grab a star
Stretch up High as you can
And touch the sky
Bundle yourself up
And speak to the wind
Then spread your arms
And soak up the sun
Reach out Stretch up high
And grab a star
Reach out High as you can
And touch the sky
Good-bye everyone
See you tomorrow
Reach out Stretch up high
If you get hungry Head for home
Sing as you walk
And head for home
Welcome back.
I'm home.