Kimberly (1999) - full transcript
Gabrielle Anwar stars in the romantic comedy DADDY WHO? (aka KIMBERLY). She plays Kimberly, an English girl and daughter of an Olympic rower, who agrees to coach an inept rowing team. The four guys on the team all agree not to try and woo the beautiful Kimberly, but each does so anyway. However, when she ends up pregnant and no one knows which one of them is the father, they all agree to help prepare for the baby's arrival. United by the prospect of fatherhood, the team is able to train for their rowing competition and, along with Kimberly, become a close knit family.
[ Singing
"row, row, row your boat." ]
Shit! Wait! Wait!
A bird just took a crap
on my shirt!
It's all over your head.
On my head?
Oh, shit!
Wasn't just any bird there,
Bobby, that was a turtledove.
You just got shit on
by the bird of love.
It definitely wasn't
the first time either.
- How symbolic, Bob.
- Definitely means something.
I've heard it means
good luck, actually.
I wouldn't want
the bird of love
crapping all over me.
Excuse me, it aimed
at the whole boat.
- Maybe, but it landed on you.
- Your love life is doomed.
I wouldn't say anything
if I were you,
because none of you
have gotten laid in months,
including Walter and he is
in a permanent relationship.
How pathetic is that?
It's hard to want to do it
when the person you're seeing
is desperate to get pregnant.
I feel like
a walking sperm bank.
You don't know how
to say no?
I have tried
about a thousand times.
And that's the last time
I tell you anything.
Excuse me, but i'm
a pretty good listener.
In fact,
I've been studying
how to read people's deepest
emotions in their body language.
The eyes can
tell so much.
What do you
see in my eyes?
I see a little boogie.
That's what I thought.
And Michael, whose balls
are so blue--
don't even start with me.
If there is one thing
I know for sure,
it's how great my sex life is.
My sex life sucks.
Are you having trouble
getting an erection?
No, the sex part's fine.
It's the relationship part
I'm having trouble with.
I love women, I really do.
But every time they
bring up kids...
Marriage and that
sort of thing,
I seem to shy away,
and I want to want those things.
Well, we'll work on this.
I guess I should tell you
this other thing.
I can't stop lusting.
Every time I look at a woman I
wonder what it would be like...
...you know,
to have sex with her...
[ Clears throat ]
And I even did it with you.
Well, we're now
at a point...
In our therapy where
transference takes place,
it's not like I think of
having sex with you
every time I come here.
I don't even think of you
as a woman anymore.
I didn't mean it like that.
The real reason I'm calling is
we're very excited about this
new company, south shore,
or rather south shore's
competition, tepco systems, inc.
Yes. It made some bold moves
on the super highway,
and we feel good about it.
Yes, it was a surprise
to all of US here at the firm.
Last week they were struggling
a little bit...
...but this week
we feel they're...
...coming along
and you know...
The iron's hot and we're
ready to strike, so...
How much do I think
you should invest?
Well, that depends
on your goals...
Personally, I wouldn't
go below 25,000?
2,500 is perfect
as an initial purchase.
Should I put you down
for 2,500 for tepco?
Well, think about it and I'll
call you in a day or two
to see how...
I'll wait for your call.
Bye-bye.
[ Bell dings ]
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning,
Mr. Montgomery.
Good morning, Jenny.
Good morning, Valerie.
Would you give me
the sketches from yesterday
and a hot cup
of tea, please?
Sure thing.
He is looking
particularly
good today.
You can say that again.
Good morning, everyone.
[ Together ]
Good morning,
professor mushnik.
I brought you some
fresh mint...
Because I know
how much you love mint.
Thank you, Valerie.
Is there anything else
I can do for you?
Anything?
No, thanks.
She wants you so bad
it hurts me.
What have we
got here, Jim?
Have you taken a good look
at that woman?
What woman?
Valerie?
Your secretary,
the one in the body that
walks in and out of here.
When was the last time you went on a date?
Jim, I don't think that's
any of your business.
Are you like one of those guys
with a mommy issue thing?
Like you don't want
to betray mommy?
You got the money, you got
the job, you got the looks...
What do you have
that I don't have?
Jim, could we
talk about this?
I'm having some real problems
with this campaign.
I know why you get
the women to like you.
You ignore them,
treat them like shit.
Women love to be
treated like shit.
Jim, I'm paying you
to work here,
not to philosophize
about women.
My problem is I'm too nice.
You have to keep it complicated.
Mr. Montgomery?
Your mom's on line one.
Thank you, Valerie.
Val, how you doing?
You look like shit.
Well, you always
look like shit.
Hi, mother.
No, mom, how many times
do I have to tell you
no blind dates?
I'm really hungry.
This is such a nice restaurant.
This is a really
nice table.
What are you thinking?
I was thinking how
beautiful your eyes are.
Thank you.
That's so sweet.
Thanks.
So tell me
about yourself.
What do you
want to know?
What do you like
to do for fun?
I like to row.
How cute.
I used to date a guy
who sailed.
Phil. He always wanted
to take me sailing,
never wanted to
take me to the movies,
never even wanted to
take me out to dinner.
He just wanted
to go sailing.
I spent a fortune
on dramamine.
Finally, I found out why
Phil liked going sailing.
He didn't want to be
seen with me in public.
He was married.
You're not married,
are you?
No, of course not.
Just checking.
So, why aren't
you married?
I have some incredible
news for you.
You got that promotion.
Honey, that's terrific.
No, no, no. It has
nothing to do with me.
Are you ready for this?
Alice is pregnant.
Oh...
Can I have some mashed
potatoes, please?
That's terrific, Nancy.
You could at least pretend
to be excited.
Why? Because some girl
who lives in Seattle,
who I've met three times
in my life, is pregnant?
I mean, I don't really
even know Alice.
You were at
her wedding.
Oh...
Ready? Set?
Go!
I'm Spartacus!
Bottoms up.
Start cleaning the bar.
My man!
Did you guys have a great
weekend, or what?
I couldn't wait
for it to end,
- why do you say that?
- Because they bore me.
Depends on what you do.
You find a great girl,
it's not that bad.
Don't you find it monotonous
dating all the time, Bob?
Who said anything
about dating?
I mean this whole thing about
wining and dining girls.
It clicks or it doesn't.
If it does,
you can take the girl
for burgers and fries,
and she still likes you.
Why don't you skip
the aggravation?
What would
you do then?
Stay home, read,
watch a movie...
Crochet, knit,
jerk off, whatever.
Why do we hang
around with him?
Stock tips.
[ Chattering ]
Hey, who's the hottie?
Don't I know her
from someplace?
If I knew her,
I would remember.
Especially if you knew her
in the biblical sense.
Watch out for
the water!
[ All laughing ]
- Hey, I'll get the oars.
- That's a good idea.
Yes, yes, yes.
Cheers.
I think we did
very good today.
Not too bad.
Not too bad.
We're coming along.
Come on,
we're hot shit.
I've got a great idea.
Let's try out for
the Kingsley regatta.
- What are you on, crack?
- Yes!
We can win.
We can absolutely
win it.
No, we can't.
Patrick!
Another round of j&b.
We want to make a toast
to the Kingsley regatta!
A toast to
the Kingsley regatta!
We'll win it!
We can do it.
What are you
laughing at?
The thought
of you guys
in the regatta.
You think
that's funny?
You guys still
dicking around
on the river?
Yes, we're still dicking
around on the river.
I've seen you guys row.
You're not that great.
Tell you what,
tomorrow morning,
8:00,
winner gets a
keg of beer.
Whoo!
That's a bet?
Oh, Jesus.
Here's a bet.
Tomorrow morning,
8:00,
we race, like you said.
But this time...
The loser has to run bare-butt
naked down the river.
- All right.
- Let's do it.
[ Hooting and hollering ]
Ah, shrinkage, shrinkage!
Feel that wind
between your legs!
Hello!
Goodbye!
Goodbye.
No doubt,
the most embarrassing
day of my life.
I've never been
so fucking humiliated.
We should have videotaped
it for our parents.
You know, Bob, we've had enough
of your suggestions.
I've had enough of
this whole rowing thing.
- I hate rowing.
- Yeah, rowing sucks.
Maybe we should go back to golf.
Or tennis, we weren't
so bad at tennis.
We sucked at tennis.
God, she has the nicest
legs I've ever seen.
She is so...
Beautiful!
What a beautiful mouth!
Does she have any tits?
Hey, watch your language.
She is practically family.
You know her?
I've known her since
she was a little girl.
She just moved here
from england.
You want to meet her?
Kimberly.
I love parisians.
I would like you
to meet some people--
Walter, Scott,
Michael and Bob.
- Hi. I'm Walter mushnik.
- Bob. How you doing?
Michael.
I have seen an awful lot
of you boys lately.
Yeah, thanks.
Yeah, right.
Oooh!
Her father was a legend
around this place.
He was a great rower.
So is she.
Like US,
I take it,
right?
Have you been
rowing long?
Long time.
Oh, yeah.
Long time.
Since the 40's.
True story.
Weird stuff.
Couldn't you tell?
Your rhythm
is a tad wonky.
Oh...
All you need is
a little practice.
Well, maybe you can
help US a wonky tad.
That's a great idea.
What do you say?
I thought you were
giving rowing up?
We live to row
and we row to live.
So, coach,
what do you say?
How do I know your intentions
are honorable?
Don't we look honorable?
Yeah, what are you
trying to say?
We could really
use your help.
This is true.
It will have to be early.
Early's good.
- We love early.
- Friday morning at seven?
[ Mouths seven ]
Great.
- Perfect.
- Fine.
- Early bird gets the worm.
- See you then.
- Bye!
- Bye-bye!
- Thanks, coach.
- Toodle-oo.
Uhhh!!!
Wow!
Unbelievable.
Oh, my god. I have a teacher's
meeting Friday morning.
Friday morning at seven,
I see my shrink on Fridays.
I have an important
business meeting.
So we'll just have
to cancel her out, right?
[ All together ]
No. Are you kidding?
[ Snoring ]
[ Clock cuckoos ]
[ Alarm ringing ]
[ Clock cuckoos,
Walter farting ]
[ Multiple bells ringing ]
[ Alarms continue to ring ]
[ Ringing ]
A quarter to seven.
You have to be kidding!
[ Alarm ringing ]
- Where is she?
- What? It's 7:01?
You look good.
Thanks.
I bet she forgot.
She didn't forget.
Hey, guys.
Over there.
God save the queen.
Good morning.
Good morning.
All right. Let's get
this show on the road.
Show on the road.
♪ Show on the road...
One... and two...
And three...
Focusing on your rhythm.
Eyes front.
Watch the oar in front of you.
We're all following
Bob here...
Fortunately or
unfortunately.
Sit up tall, tucking in...
Lower back pulling to chest...
Down and away...
I want you to feel it
in your backs, gentlemen.
Push with your legs.
Don't kick, Bob.
I want to hear the feathering.
Plum the oars.
I want to hear one oar,
not four of you.
Good Walter,
pick up the pace.
Walter, focus!
I'm focusing.
Send the finish...
Eyes up front.
Pick up the pace.
Increase the rhythm.
God, man, I haven't felt like
this since football practice.
My back is
killing me.
- Really? I feel great.
- You're sick.
You did much better.
If you worked hard,
you might make the regatta.
What do you say?
Maybe you'll be
our coxswain?
No, I don't think so.
- Come on!
- Please?
- We're really desperate.
- We could really use your help.
You really want to do it?
Yes, absolutely.
If there is any dilly-dallying,
then I'm history.
- No dilly-dallying.
- Whatsoever.
Next time we'll start
with some exercises.
Exercises. Great.
Exercise.
I can listen to her giving US
those commands all day.
She is not
a bad coach.
Not bad?
She is excellent!
I'm starting to
feel like a jock.
I don't know about you
guys, but...
I'm having kind of a
hard time concentrating.
She is a pretty
serious babe.
She is definitely
attractive.
The more I get to know her,
the less attracted I am to her.
She is like a sister to me.
Really?
I think we ought to make
a pact right here, right now.
Nobody goes out with her
like, you know...
A date-like situation.
You mean no
sexual intercourse?
Exactly.
Sounds reasonable.
Does oral sex count?
Hmmm...
Yes.
We're going
to make a pact...
Using the sacred oar
of truth.
She can make a pact with
my sacred oar of truth.
You always have to
be like that?
It's all you ever think of.
Come on,
get over here.
- We solemnly swear...
- We solemnly swear...
Not to have sex
with Kimberly...
...not to have sex
with Kimberly
for as long as we shall row.
For as long as
we shall row.
So help US,
god of the river.
So help US, god of the river.
Hey, Kimberly.
I wanted to thank you.
You're helping US a lot.
It's my pleasure.
Well, I thought
the least I could do...
Would be to
take you out to dinner.
That's very kind of you,
but entirely unnecessary.
I know a great Italian place
down the street.
I'm not into dating.
Dating?
Who said anything about dating?
I'm talking about dinner,
food, you do have to eat,
don't you?
[ Engine starts ]
Good morning,
miss Cox-swain,
coxswain, coxswain,
I'm a rhythm counter.
Sounds seriously
perverted to me.
Which scarf
on the dummy?
This scarf on the dummy.
So...
Are they cute?
Well... oh, my god,
there is one right there!
What are you doing?
Want to come in?
He certainly doesn't look
like a rower to me.
He will.
Give him time.
Hello.
What a coincidence, I didn't
know that you worked here.
Sara, Walter,
Walter, Sara.
- Hi.
- How do you do?
Whoo!
Nice to meet you.
So what are you doing
in this neck of the woods?
Huh? Well...
There is a great coffee shop
across the street.
I was just going
to have breakfast.
Really?
Which one?
Well, yes.
How about joining me?
I would love to,
but I can't...
Because I'm working.
No, no, no. You should go.
I'll stay here and
watch the shop
try the blueberry muffins.
Trust me,
you won't regret it.
After traveling with the dead
after I graduated,
I had to get
my act together.
My mom wanted me
to go to med school,
my dad wanted me to be a lawyer.
All I wanted to do was write.
You spent the summer traveling
with the grateful dead?
Yes, I sold the mushroom
burrito, you know?
Anyway, I lived
out of my Van.
And I read all of Dostoevsky,
Tolstoy, sartre, camus,
it was great and now i'm
teaching romantic literature.
How romantic.
Too much caffeine!
Out, out,
damned spot.
Macbeth?
Thank you
for breakfast.
You're welcome.
I hope you
can get that...
It's no problem.
I really enjoyed
talking with you.
I'll see you
on Monday.
"Lundi",
that's French.
Kim, listen.
We better not tell
the guys about this.
They might get jealous.
Yes. Au revoir,
a bientot.
Hi, come here.
You have a nice dog!
What's up?
Ouch!
This is lovely.
You must eat here often.
No, I've never
been here.
Signor stark,
¿come stai?
It's nice to
see you again.
Once or twice,
a long time ago.
The usual bellini,
signor stark?
Yes.
Would you like one?
Two. Perfetto.
Signor stark,
what would you recommend?
They have great pasta.
Mm-hmm.
So, you grew up in england?
What, tell me...
No. Actually I spent 12
delicious years here...
Followed by a
couple of crappy ones.
London was the aftermath
of my parents' divorce.
Is that where
you learned how to row?
No, here.
My father and I spent a
lot of time on the river.
Really?
Was he any good?
Yes, he made
the olympic team.
Really?
The Olympics?
You're kidding.
No.
Wow!
Does he still row?
No. Actually,
he died last year.
Oh. I'm sorry.
That's why I'm here.
I need to sell the house.
What about you?
Well, I remodel
old victorian townhouses.
And I live with a really
beautiful young female
...named Lucy.
Really?
She is gorgeous.
Nice mustache.
When I was a child,
we once had ten cats.
Ten cats?
That's a lot of
kitty cats.
No to mention
kitty litter.
We lived on a farm and my father
got the cats to kill the mice.
If Lucy met a mouse,
I think she'd probably...
Fall deeply in love with her
and they would move in together.
Bellini.
E salutte!
To you, Kimberly.
Thank you for dinner.
It was delicious.
Thank you.
I had a great time.
Me too.
Let's uh...
Do it again soon.
Good night.
Good night.
Wait...
Let's not tell
the guys about this.
They might get jealous.
Good night.
I just think it's better if
we don't tell the other guys,
they might get...
-...jealous?
- My thoughts exactly.
No! Come on!
What are you talking about?
There is no way
that was a strike!
That was so outside.
Unbelievable!
Sorry, I get a
little animated.
Really?
I know, I'm a little fanatical,
but I love it.
Watch this next pitch.
He is going to get a hit.
No way.
He's in a huge slump.
Come on, you don't follow
baseball?
Sometimes, there is
no way he'll get a hit.
I'll bet you.
The loser has to howl
at the moon.
You better loosen up
your vocal cords.
Ahem,
mi, mi, mi, mi.
Come on, give me
something to hit!
[ Howling ]
Pretty good.
That was good.
Drop that tomato.
Tomato?
Hi, Kimberly.
My! You look great today.
Thank you.
What's with all
the spinach?
I was going to try and
cook a spinach pie.
You were going to try
and cook a spinach pie?
Yes. My cooking is about as
confident as your rowing.
That bad?
Mm-hmm...
So where did you
learn to cook?
I picked it up
from my mom.
I don't often get
to cook for someone else.
Rowing is about
as social as I get.
Oh, dear!
That smells delicious.
This is nice.
So, Kimberly,
do you have a boyfriend?
God, no.
I was engaged...
And he got cold feet.
And uh...
Poof!
I don't know why
I'm joking about it.
It really hurt.
I imagine.
That's okay,
I'm over it.
It's been two years.
My god, two years,
I guess I haven't been that
socially inclined either.
So, in answer to your question,
no, I don't have a boyfriend.
A toast.
To the future...
And to no more poofs.
Hey, guys, did you
have a great weekend?
Yes, it was a
great weekend!
So, what did you do?
Let's get the boat.
Yes, let's get
the boat.
- Hello, boys.
- Kim.
- Hi, Kimberly.
- Hey.
One... and two...
Very nice.
Come on, baby!
Gentlemen?
May I remind you we have
less than two weeks
until the qualifying races?
Onward, ten and two.
And one...
And two...
... and three...
... and four...
... and five...
103, 104, 105...
106, 107, 108, 109...
Nine, ten...
One!
[ Chattering ]
Guys, a change of clothes,
for luck.
Good luck.
These are great.
These are really great.
Styling.
Kimberly, that's really
thoughtful of you.
Okay, guys...
You worked hard for this,
you can do it.
All for one,
one for all.
Attitude check, -- ready?
On three.
One, two, three.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Let's go.
Let's go.
Come on!
Flag!
Six minutes and 32 seconds,
you've finished last...
But you still qualify.
Yes!
Her mother says that Samantha,
that's her name, Samantha,
she was in a relationship
that ended a year ago
and she hasn't met anyone.
She has a wonderful job.
She is fabulous looking and
she has a nice family.
I think you two should meet.
Mother, please, you know
how I feel about blind dates.
It doesn't have to be
a blind date,
I can arrange
a dinner party.
- I don't think so.
- But she sounds so perfect.
Leave him
alone, dear.
How am I ever going
to become a grandmother
if my only child
refuses to date?
Mom, to tell you the truth,
I'm already seeing somebody.
Good for you,
very good.
Well, aren't you going to
tell US about her?
I don't think you know her,
but she is very special.
Do we know
her parents?
I don't think so.
Is she from here?
No.
When did you meet her?
Just relax, dear.
A few months ago?
A few months ago?
This is serious.
When are we going to
get to meet her?
Um... you know, mom,
I don't know.
Soon, I suppose.
What are you working on?
Believe it or not,
I've started to work
in my book again.
That's great.
You should be
working on it.
I don't even know why
I put it down.
Probably before you weren't
ready and now you are.
Do you do know anything
about firearms?
No.
You take the stock of
the gun to your shoulder,
this is your
stabilizing hand,
pick the target,
aim through the sights,
line it up...
Pick out the troll sucker
you want to kill...
[ Fire shot ]
[ Troll laughs ]
You suck!
- Damn sights are off.
- Give me the gun.
You have to cock...
If you aim...
[ Troll ]
Nice shot!
Good job.
Thanks.
Michael...
I can't help myself.
Kimberly, I think
you're incredible.
I feel so at
ease with you.
It just feels so right.
I'm not ready for this.
Why?
I'm afraid of being
disappointed,
or abandoned,
or rejected,
or mislead.
I'm afraid of being
disappointing...
Or misleading...
You know,
I'm confused...
One moment I feel like I've made
four really great friends...
And then I feel as though they
all want more than friendship
and I don't know how
I feel about that.
Maybe you ought to
slow things down a little.
Have you done it
with any of them?
Done what?
[ Girl falls ]
One, two, strum.
There you go.
[ Reading French slowly ]
Wait, wait, wait.
I got it.
Thank you.
[ Sneezes ]
[ Sneezes again ]
- Are you all right, Kimberly?
- You look a little peaked.
Michael's right.
You look kind of sickly.
I'm fine.
- I think we should go back.
- You're right. We should go.
Oh, god.
- Let's turn around, way enough.
- Guys, I'm really fine.
We'll just go back.
Walter,
a little harder.
You want me to give
you a ride home?
- Mm-mmm.
- No?
- I know a great doctor.
- Get some rest.
I could bring you chicken soup.
It's got natural penicillin.
I'm fine.
Let's reschedule.
- Reschedule.
- Bye!
- My bet...
- What?
She's on the rag.
On the rag, Bob?Nice, Bob.
Sick.
Jerk.
What? I meant it
in the clinical sense.
Come on give me a break!
[ Sobbing ]
I thought it
would be different,
this wasn't supposed
to happen to me.
I didn't even know that...
[ Whispers ] The condom broke.
What broke, mama?
She's the one.
She's right for me.
So... [ sighs ]
You think you're interested
in a serious relationship
with Kimberly?
Yes.
Yes, I am.
You know, relationships
take work, Michael.
Commitment, compromise.
You have to trust...
And you have to surrender.
- I--i...
- What? What is it?
I--i can do that.
Well, it takes work, Michael.
But it can be wonderful.
And if you understand this,
then we're making progress.
Wow. Maybe that's
what true love is.
Making progress in therapy.
[ Knocking lightly ]
Hi.
Hello.
I was in
the neighborhood...
I thought I'd stop by and
see how you're feeling.
I feel, um...
A little bit better.
Good.
So, the 24 hour flu
or something, huh?
No, not exactly.
No?
What was it?
Something
completely unexpected.
Oh.
Like what?
Um...
[ Clears throat ]
I'm pregnant.
You're pregnant?
Wha--?
How--i mean, wow!
Wow!
Well...
I think we can
deal with this.
Do you think you're
ready for a child?
[ Sighs ]
So, what do you
want to do?
I want to make
the right decision.
I say, have it.
I love kids.
And anything you
need from me...
Anything at all,
it's yours.
Thank you for
saying that.
I mean it.
Do you have some sugar?
Oh, yes.
Headache, too?
No, um...
They're antidepressants.
Sometimes I need
a little extra help.
Wow! Jeez!
Paranoid.
Do you think you're
ready for that--
to be a mom
and everything?
Because if you are,
it's great.
That's your choice.
I mean, who's going to
tell you what to do, really?
It's your body.
Legally and morally,
it's up to you.
I think that's good.
You know, you're starting to
look a little pregnant.
[ Begins to sob ]
I mean in a good way,
you're flushed.
It's--
you're starting to look...
Rosy...
[ Sobbing louder ]
If you need anything
I'll be out here.
Don't worry about me,
I'll be fine.
I don't know that I'm ready
to be a dad just yet.
[ Toilet flushes ]
Funny, I don't even remember
what happened that night.
Life is so cruel.
You drink a little too much,
pass out, and bam...
Here comes little Bob,
or little babette
right into the world.
But what are you going to do?
Life is short, then you
keep moving, right?
Wow, there's not
much change in it.
You just plow forward.
Right?
Everything's fine.
You okay? I'm sorry.
Is everything all right?
Good.
Good.
Good, good.
You're going to be fine.
Thank you for being
so understanding.
No, it's great.
It's going to be great.
Okay.
Are you sure
you're pregnant?
Yes.
And it's really important
that I be honest with you...
I have to be honest
with you here.
I have a girlfriend.
I have Nancy and we've been
together for three years...
And she is going
to kill me.
I'm dead.
Dead.
You know, we have to
talk about this.
This isn't the right
thing to do here.
This is an
unplanned pregnancy.
You know,
for god's sake.
You aren't actually
thinking of...
Having it, are you?
I--i don't... you don't know.
I don't want to be
a part of this.
I can't be.
This isn't for me.
No, no thank you.
Oh, shit.
Shit!
[ Squeaks ]
[ Phone rings ]
Hello?
Hi, Nance...
Nothing, just correcting
some papers.
Do I want to
go out to dinner?
No, i--i don't think so.
Sushi?
All right then.
I'll see you
in a little bit then.
Okay.
[ Makes kissing sound ]
I've been trying
to sort out
what I should do,
keeping an open mind.
And I hope you can
do the same.
What I have to say...
Is going to affect
all of you.
I want to have
this baby.
I'm a little confused...
Why does this
concern them?
Well...
No...
Holy shit.
My god.
Whoa!
Oh, my god.
You've got to be
fucking kidding me.
Have you...
Have you been
with all four of US?
I've been spending time
with all of you.
And I care... very much
about each of you.
And I've heard everything each
of you has had to say.
And...
Whatever you decide to do
is fine with me.
I would love, more than
anything in the world...
For all four of you
to be involved.
But even if I have to
do this on my own...
I really want
to have this baby.
Kimberly, wait...
I'm really fine.
I'm okay.
Did that
just happen?
How could you guys
have done this to me?
I thought we were
best friends, man.
You guys are traitors.
This is crazy.
Aren't you a traitor
too, Mikey?
No, but I love her.
I can't believe you
guys did this to me.
We had a pact.
It looks like we all
broke the pact.
Fuck you!
I wasn't
the only one.
Relax.
Try and be mature here.
There's a big decision to make.
I've made my decision.
I'm never talking
to that girl again, ever.
Well, good.
I want to know right now,
who slept with her?
Honestly, all I remember
is sleeping.
Walter!
I'm not fucking
telling you.
Oh, I see.
I see.
Scott, you didn't
sleep with her, right?
Please.
Oh, my god.
I think I'm going to be sick.
I don't understand,
what does she gain by
having all of US involved?
I mean, as fathers?
You know what?
It doesn't matter.
I've made my decision and
I never want to see her again.
Count me out, because I don't
want to be a part of this.
I would rather fucking die.
I've got to call my shrink.
I think I'm having a breakdown.
I can't believe this.
I can't fucking
believe this.
I can't believe this girl.
She's going to ruin my life.
I can't believe
that fucking slut.
Fuck you, Walter.
Hey, hey!
Enough!
Get the fuck
out of my way.
I'm never talking
to you assholes again.
What about the race?
Louise, my darling Louise.
You have no idea
how much I've missed you.
Yeah?
Is that why I haven't heard
from you in three months?
Three months?
Has it really
been three months?
Yeah.
My biological clock
says even longer.
[ Chuckles ]
I've been working
and rowing a lot.
- Rowing?
- Yeah.
Is that what you're
calling it now?
You used to refer to it
as a "cultural exchange".
It's not like that.
Really. It's...
It's actually been
kind of rough out there.
I'm in the middle
of a crisis.
I guess I could use
a little Louise compassion.
What's this?
You've had a big
disappointment in love.
You've been dumped.
Well, I wish it were
that simple.
That would be great.
Actually, I guess
I'm kind of lost,
right now.
Can I ask you a question?
Shoot.
What do you think of babies?
[ Laughs ]
Are trying to tell me
that "the boar"--
"the wild boar",
"the barbarian",
"the warrior",
is thinking about
settling down?
No, not exactly.
You're not going
soft on me, are you?
No, no, no.
I was just, you know...
[ Sighs ]
Just wondering
what you thought about...
The idea of raising kids.
Well...
As long as they're mine.
I love it.
Great.
Can I have another one?
Walter:
Babies...
[ Lullaby playing -
babies crying ]
Babies all over.
Oh, god.
You were talking
in your sleep.
What are you talking about?
You were.
You were talking
about babies.
Your biological clock
is ticking.
You're finally starting
to come around.
No, I'm not starting
to come around.
I'm not ready for a kid.
Are you ready for
a serious relationship?
Yes. What do you think
we're in right now?
I don't know.
Why don't you tell me?
There's something
going on with you,
but I can't figure out what.
[ Sighs ]
You're just
imagining things.
Am I really?
Yes, could you just
lighten up a little?
Walter?
Can you tell me
what you see in our future?
Do we have to have
this discussion at
three in the morning?
Yes, you never want
to have this discussion,
so, I want to have it
at three in the morning.
I won't.
I'm going back to sleep.
Fine.
What are you doing?
I'm packing, if that's
what you can call it.
Like I have anything
to pack.
Where's my diaphragm?
It's probably
fossilized by now.
It's in that ugly thing my parents gave me.
What the hell
is it doing in there?
I don't know.
Resting.
Can we talk
about this now?
No. We cannot talk about this.
I'm sick of this shit.
We've been together
for three years.
I'm sick of being treated
like some piece of furniture.
- Piece of furniture?
- Nothing's progressed.
- What do you mean?
- If I didn't know you better,
I'd say you were
having a affair.
- Having an affair?
- But I know you...
And I think you're incapable
of having an affair.
You don't have the balls
to have an affair.
Oh, I don't have the balls
to have an affair?
You can't even take care
of your own girlfriend.
Everything's been
going wrong for me.
I promise things
are going to get better.
That's just not good enough.
I mean, just give me a chance
to work things out.
Call me when you
grow up, Walter.
Adieu.
- Shit.
- [ Door shuts ]
I like Kimberly.
She's great.
I don't know if I'm ready
to have a kid right now.
I think she needs
our help, Bob.
What's wrong with sharing
a little responsibility?
Sharing?
I don't know, it's...
[ Knocking ]
Hold on a second.
- Hi.
- Scott, I'm glad
you called.
I'm losing my mind.
My whole world is crashing down,
and everything is just...
Let me get you a drink.
Hey, Walter.
- What's he doing here?
- We need to talk.
Guys, we known each other
for a long time.
We can't let this
end our friendship.
Yeah, we've got the race
coming up...
We should keep
the team together.
Bob and I have decided
to help Kimberly.
We have?
We have.
We have.
And we think
you should, too.
Nancy left me.
I haven't slept in a week...
And I was a complete
asshole to Kimberly.
So, does that mean "yes"?
Do I have a choice?
It's a good choice.
[ Door opens ]
You shouldn't leave
this door unlocked.
Oh, Christ!
There goes the neighborhood.
Scott:
Michael, wait.
I don't like being tricked.
Just hear me out.
If you don't like what
I have to say, leave.
Come on.
Let him go, Scott.
I don't want to part of this
if he's going to be
a part of it.
Walter, sit down.
A part of what?
Are you going to punch
me in the face again?
We've all decided
to help Kimberly.
We want you in.
No, we don't.
- Grow up, Walter.
- Eat me, Bob.
We're friends.
What's done is done.
You can't change that.
Scott:
Right now, Kimberly
needs our help.
I don't want her going through
this alone, Michael.
I know you love her.
I know you want to do
the right thing.
Okay?
[ Knocking ]
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Can we come in?
Yeah.
We've been talking, and...
We've come to a decision.
We're sorry.
We thought about
what you said...
And you were right.
We want to be there for you
during your pregnancy.
Bob: You know, to help out and stuff.
That is, if you let US.
As long as you take
that white stuff off your face.
I'm so happy.
Thanks.
I feel really good
about that.
This is going
to be great.
How great can it be?
I think it's going to add
a whole new dimension
to our lives.
Anarchy.
Complete anarchy.
Come on, Walter.
We've talked about 19th century
romanticism,
the search for true love.
The one you want to die for.
Now we're going to discuss
a more timely issue,
one that's going to help you
with your everyday lives.
And that is, how to deal
with romance in the nineties.
Okay.
Forget the prince charming,
forget, uh...
What's the bitch...?
Cinderella.
Forget the fairy tales,
because those are outdated.
They are out!
They're finished! All right?
Now is the winter
of our discontent.
To be or not to be.
[ Rambling ]
Now we are moving
into the unexpected.
Men are changing.
Women are changing.
Be ready.
This is the new
existentialism.
Where's my fucking chalk?
This is the existentialism
of the independent woman...
Let's just call her "k."
And the dependent man.
A little guy.
It's complete
and total anarchy.
Questions, anybody?
Wow, um, yes?
Is it as crazy
as it seems?
That's not for me
to decide, is it?
This whole thing has made me--
has made me realize,
I really am in love.
I really love her.
Sure I'm pissed,
aggravated, hurt,
all those things, but...
But I love her.
How nice.
Tell me,
does she fit
into your definition
of "the perfect woman?"
You know...
I'm not even thinking about it
that way anymore.
I just have these feelings.
They're deeper.
They are real deep
feelings.
I just...
I just don't know
how to express them.
Well, why don't you try.
Hello, Mr. Hartwick?
It's Bob here,
friendly neighborhood
stockbroker.
How are you?
I found a great
little stock for you.
It's a small company
that just invented a microchip,
that all the other microchip
manufactures are going
to be using.
What?
I sound a little frantic?
No, no, no.
Not at all.
It's just good
to be alive.
Listen, Mr. Hartwick,
you need to make
some money, right?
And I definitely need
to make some money.
You've got a family
to support, right?
I know how you feel.
How do I know?
No, I'm not married, but,
you don't have to be married
to support a child these days.
What do you say?
So, can I send you some
information on this--
you trust me?
Great.
That's great.
I'll have my associate
give you a call
and we can go ahead
and put the transaction through.
Great. Thanks very much.
You're making a wise investment.
Thanks. Bye-bye.
[ Shouts in excitement ]
Yes!
[ Exhales ]
Got to work a little harder
when you've got an extra mouth
to feed.
You're having a baby?
No. I got a dog.
What kind?
A chihuahua.
They're so cute.
I know what we need
for that campaign.
It relates
to the new baby boom.
"New baby boom"?
I think we should
build this campaign
around a pregnant woman.
- For a sedan?
- Exactly my point.
These pregnant women are buying
these utility vehicles
and minivans.
Half the time
it's too much car for them.
Also, they guzzle gas.
The sedan, on the other hand,
it's got 4 doors,
it's economical on gas,
and it's comfortable.
You've got a point.
Let's get some sketches
as soon as possible,
and let's put a pregnant dog
in with the woman.
Pregnant.
Valerie, can you get
the representatives
from dodge on the line for me?
What's with him?
Maybe he's finally
getting laid.
Valerie, are you
free for lunch?
- Yes.
- Great.
Hey, guys.
I got everybody
one of these.
"The complete idiot's guide
to bring up baby."
I think we should all
read this.
Scott:
I've been thinking
about the new future,
Kimberly's already been taking
her prenatal vitamins,
I think we need to start
regarding her diet.
She should be eating five
well balanced meals a day,
like burgers, shakes and fries,
to put a little weight on.
No, Bob.
She's got to put
on some weight.
- No drinking.
- Very little caffeine.
I'm also looking into
the best ob-gyn in town.
I've got a few names
and I'm going to set up
a few interviews.
I've got the names
of some pediatricians.
Bob, we should open up
a trust fund.
All right.
I can do that.
Walter?
You okay?
I've never been
so stressed out in my life.
I think I'm clenching
my teeth at night.
I'm going to give you
the number of a friend of mine.
A hooker?
My shrink, you idiot.
Oh. I have the number
of a hooker if you need it.
Guys, it's okay
to be stressed out,
but we really need to look
after Kimberly right now.
Make sure her world
is as stress-free as possible.
She use lots of massages.
What are you talking about?
What?
Actually, Bob,
it's not a bad idea.
See? I got the number
of a masseuse if we need it.
I've also been thinking about
natural childbirthing.
I think a water birthing
is the way to go.
No, no, no.
She needs to go
to a hospital.
She needs the best care
that western medicine
can offer.
What's that thing called
when you're breathing?
[ Exhales & inhales rapidly ]
You're an expert
on child birth?
I've been doing
a lot of research.
Settle down, guys.
It's not a big deal.
Let's get her a cell phone
she can carry around.
That's a good idea.
Does everyone want a beeper?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
I'll pick up the beepers.
- [ Sighs ]
- Walter?
- What's the matter?
- I don't know.
My neck is just--
I don't know,
it's like a shooting pain
in my neck...
My ass hurts,
and my back...
Relax.
Come on, man.
You've got to take it
one day at a time.
Walter needs to get laid.
No, thank you.
Michael:
Hey, guys,
we are having a baby.
We're going to be dads.
It's the most thrilling time
in a man's life.
It's our--
our first...
...child.
Wow!
I hope he's got my eyes.
And my brains.
My sensitivity.
And...
[ Together ]
Walter's cock.
Walter, are you okay?
[ Gagging ]
Medic.
Is it my weight that's
slowing this boat down?
Speed, gentlemen.
[ Mocking ]
Strong arms,
Bobby.
Michael, snap that catch.
From the finish...
Row!
Scotty, are you going to tell US
about your girlfriend?
Kimberly?
You are still seeing her,
aren't you?
Absolutely.
Are we ever going
to meet her?
I don't know, mom,
she's been pretty busy.
Really?
Doing what?
Well, she's having, er...
- She's having...
- Having...
What?
She's having a baby.
- [ Gasps ]
- She's pregnant.
Does that mean that
I'm about to become
a grandfather?
Well, that depends on
how broad-minded you are.
My boss overheard me
talking about it.
He wanted the seats.
Did you see that play?
[ Together ]
Oooh!
[ Laughs ]
Shall we?
If it's not
too expensive.
[ Telephone rings ]
Yeah? I was just curious
what kind of children's clothes
your company's
manufacturing now.
Hang on just a second.
How did that go again?
Put the needle
through this loop,
pull the yarn
to the other needle.
Knit one, purl two.
Like that?
Five, six...
Father:
Look who's coming.
- That looks so good on you.
- Thank you.
I really like this one.
I think it's great.
- Sarah?
- What?
I felt a kick.
Come on.
- Where?
- Here.
Oh, wow.
Isn't that
the best feeling?
It's amazing.
I have to call the boys.
To a healthy baby.
To a good, strong boy.
- Why not a girl?
- Sure.
What are we going to do
with a girl?
- Love her.
- Yeah, love her.
Protect her from
people like you.
Hey, girls adore
their fathers.
Good point.
What am I going to do
with a girl?
Take her to the ballet?
With a boy you can take him
to the game, you know?
You can give him a noogie.
Girls are more affectionate...
And manipulative.
Whoo.
Well, to a healthy
and happy baby.
[ Together ]
To a healthy, happy baby.
Where's Walter?
Where is Walter?
Nancy?
- I need to talk to you.
- What?
I told you I don't want
to see you anymore.
Look, look.
I'm a lying
piece of shit.
I-I-I...
- Look, I just...
- What? Just spit it out.
Look, I cheated on you.
I'm so sorry.
Why are you telling me
this now?
Because I love you,
and I want you back.
I miss you.
I miss you so much.
This whole thing's made me
realize how much I miss you.
Are you still seeing
that other woman?
Yes-- no, no.
Not really.
What do you mean
"not really"?
Well, I mean,
here's the thing,
she's um...
What?
She's pregnant.
You are a piece of shit!
I can't believe you!
You come here to tell me
you want me back
and you got another woman
pregnant?
Shut up.
The baby might not
even be mine.
You're sick, Walter!
Okay? You are sick!
You need help!
I know--
listen, it's complicated.
There's other men involved.
Look, can we get a cup
of coffee somewhere?
No, we can't get
a cup of coffee.
We're not going to have
breakfast, lunch or dinner.
Listen to me.
It's over!
I don't want to see your
lying face ever again!
Got it?
Over!
- Listen--
- and don't follow me!
- Nancy, there's--
- stay!
Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is the feature event
of our annual Kingsley regatta.
Gentlemen, senior fours,
you have ten minutes
to launch your show.
I tried to call Walter
all night.
I have no idea
where he is.
- I can't believe him.
- He'll be here.
Thanks, Walter.
[ Sighs ]
Hey, are you okay?
Are you all right?
- Kimberly, are you all right?
- I'm fine.
Do you need a glass
of water or something?
Do you want to sit down?
Finally, he's here.
Where the hell
have you been?
I don't want to talk about it.
- You look like shit.
- What happened to you?
Strong finish.
Take care of her.
We're going to be
first across.
...the leopard crew
was last year's winner,
and are far and away
predicted to win
the Kimberly senior four...
Looks like you guys are doing
a little hanky-panky, huh?
Who the hell asked you?
So, who humped her?
Gentlemen!
The musketeers,
a new crew,
have been untested
throughout this year so far,
are in Lane number one.
The turtles, who love to say,
as their sign shows,
they "do it better
on the water",
will be in Lane four.
The crews seem to be ready,
all hands are down.
The wind is somewhat
calmer now.
Gentlemen, this will be
the start.
Lane one pret?
Lane two pret?
Lane three pret?
Lane four pret?
Etes-vous pret?
Partez!
Out of the starting platform--
we have a beautiful start.
It's almost even.
Come on, baby.
The leopards have started
to move out,
with the sharks and the turtles
close behind.
[ Siren heard ]
Kimberly!
Come on!
Well, folks, the musketeers
are really moving now.
Great energy, folks.
Great energy.
The musketeers have put in
a new battery.
The crews have just passed
the 250 meter marker.
And the musketeers are fighting
their way to close to even.
The leopards are glued
on the musketeers.
The musketeers seem to be
pulling ahead.
Yes, yes,
the finish flag is coming up.
It's down!
[ Cheering ]
The leopards
are beside themselves.
One of them is swearing,
the other's crying.
They're crushed by this.
This is a upset.
- Hey?
- Wait.
Open the door.
Guys, what are you doing?
- I was so scared.
- We thought you were
in the ambulance.
The baby's fine.
- Who's in the ambulance?
- Some lady, she fainted.
- She fainted?
- Yeah.
Congratulations.
You're fantastic.
You won.
- We won?
- We won?
[ All cheer & holler ]
Michael:
Guys, three minutes.
Walter:
I'm switching from rum
to champagne.
Scott:
That's going to hurt
in the morning, Walter.
Have we thought
of any names?
No. Not yet.
I like "Edgar",
for Edgar Alan poe.
I like "Willie",
for Willie mays.
That's good.
How about "amadeus"?
"Amadeus"?
He won't get
beat up in school.
Little Wolfie...
To friendship,
and love...
To love.
...and to prosperity.
To prosperity.
To old friends,
and new adventures.
Yes.
I would...
I would like
to thank you all...
On behalf of both of US,
for the last few months.
I didn't think
that I would ever meet
four men quite like you.
Nor did I think I'd ever
have a baby like this.
Four times the love,
and four times
the complications.
Anyway, to the new year.
- Happy new year.
- Happy new year.
[ Snoring ]
[ Singing softly ]
♪ may auld acquaintance
be forgot ♪
♪ and never brought to mind
we'll take a cup
of kindness then ♪
♪ for the sake
of auld lang syne. ♪
If you're happy
with everything,
Mr. Erikson,
then I'd like to start
at the beginning of the month.
Fine with me.
Is this the Miguel residence?
I see.
[ Speaks Spanish ]
Yes, Melissa, Edgar Allan poe
was indeed found
drunk dead and beaten
on a Baltimore street.
I'm going to be
in Boston for puma
on the 16th and the 17th.
[ Continues speaking Spanish ]
You'd prefer that I speak
in English?
[ Pager beeping ]
I think something's wrong.
There's nothing wrong
with this house.
No, I mean something
is wrong with my friend.
My girl.
My girlfriend.
[ Beeping ]
God!
[ Nervous laughter ]
Okay, we're going to
resume class next--
we'll resume next week--
"the raven", "the raven".
Hang on a second.
Hello?
I'm going to be
right there.
[ Beeping ]
Oh! Oh, it's d-day!
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Is everything all right?
Everything's great.
She's popping!
It's delivery time.
Delivery?
My chihuahua's
having puppies.
Can I have one?
I could really use a dog.
Two of them are spoken for,
but if there's a third,
you'll be the first to know.
Got to go.
Remember to breathe.
Okay. This it it!
Baby, can you make it
to the front door?
Hurry up.
Okay.
Breathe. Breathe.
[ Huffs ]
[ Groans ]
Two more turns.
I'm coming, baby.
Here I come.
You're here.
Okay, good.
Okay.
I'm here.
Baby...
Breathe. Breathe.
I'm at the gate...
Coming up the steps.
Oh, baby.
Woman with a baby.
Woman with a baby.
Woman with a baby!
Woman with a baby.
Hey, you!
Get your hands off!
I'm so sorry!
So sorry!
Kimberly?
Honey?
Are you okay?
Hi.
We're having a baby.
She's having a baby.
We're here to see
Dr. Tennenbaum.
Dr. Tennenbaum has the flu.
Dr. Feinstenberger
is replacing him.
Dr. Feinstenberger?
Who the hell's
Dr. Feinstenberger?
I don't want a strange
doctor working on my wife.
I'm not your wife.
Dr. Feinstenberger
is a great doctor.
How far along
are the contractions?
[ Huffing ]
Three... four...
Yeah, three, four.
We're going to take her
down to the triage room
and examine her.
Okay.
He better be good.
[ Screams ]
Oh, bless you.
Are you all right?
Hey, buddy!
Pay up!
You want a jelly
or a glazed?
Here, take two.
- What's going on?
- She's in the triage.
- In the where?
- The triage.
What the hell
happened to you?
I hit a car.
How do I look?
You're not looking so good.
- Is she all right?
- She's fine!
She's in the triage.
Hey! Hey!
Is it a boy?
No. I don't know yet.
She's in the triage.
They're going
to come get US--
I got doughnuts.
I got glazed, sprinkles...
Here she is!
Loudspeaker:
Dr. Feinstenberger,
your patient is on the way.
[ All talking in a panic ]
Excuse me,
we need to get in there!
She's pregnant.
We need to get in there.
All right.
Easy.
I'm Dr. Feinstenberger,
I'm covering for Dr. Tannenbaum.
Who's the father?
[ All together ]
I am!
Who's the father?
- We all are.
- [ Moans ]
For lack of a better term,
we're all in spirit.
Spiritual fathers?
Oh...
We'll need four sets
of scrubs.
Gentlemen,
the changing room.
The changing room.
To the changing room.
Everything's fine.
Keep breathing.
You guys?
Come on!
Yesterday, I had
two lesbian mothers,
today, this.
Okay, how are you doing,
Kimberly?
Great!
Are you ready to push?
No!
Can we get
an epidural, please?
She doesn't need
an epidural.
Just relax.
Is there anything
we can do to help?
You could leave.
- Just hold her hand.
- I am holding her hand.
Maybe I should
read a poem.
- Yeah, a poem's a good idea.
- Would you like some music?
[ Groans ]
No music.
All right.
Get ready to push.
- The poem's a good idea.
- Here we go.
- Ready to push.
- Push it down and away.
[ Moaning ]
[ Together ]
Hut! Hut! Hut!
All right--
and push!
[ All counting ]
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Breathe! Breathe!
Good. The breathing is good.
All right.
Push!
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten!
Breathe.
Breathe, breathe.
Breathe.
That's-a girl.
That's good.
And again.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
[ Moaning ]
Breathe!
I see something here.
I want to see something.
- Wow!
- Don't look there.
What are you doing?
One last push. Ready?
Strong at the finish.
Push.
Push, push, push!
[ Moans ]
I see a hand.
[ All shouting ]
It's a boy.
[ Together ]
It's a boy!
[ Cheering ]
It's a boy! It's a boy!
Doctor:
Gentlemen?
Shhh!
Excuse me,
how can you tell
it's a boy?
Are you kidding me?
Look at the size of its wiener.
[ Crying ]
Who's going to cut
the cord?
Scott?
Uh... Michael, I think
you better do it.
Yes, I'll do it.
Between the clips.
Good job.
Doctor, congratulations.
Good work.
It's a Cuban.
He does have my eyes.
He's got my smile.
He's the spitting
image of me.
What?
Doctor, would you mind
taking a picture of US?
We wouldn't want
to miss this.
All right, everybody...
Look here.
Happy faces.
You're all a bunch
of daddies.
Look, a little print,
that's you.
It's beautiful.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Right now, I wish
we had made love.
So I'd know what it was like
to be a real father.
If it weren't for you,
I don't think the others
would have been so supportive.
Why were you so adamant
for me to have this baby?
Because I care about you...
And because I care
about the guys.
Whatever happens now,
I'd like to be a part
of you and the baby's lives.
You already are.
What do you think
of the name "Alex"?
I like it.
It was my father's.
What is it?
It's a blanket.
It started out
as a sweater,
then it became a blanket
with a sleeve on it.
It's an original.
I made it myself.
I love it.
Oh, um...
There's a little bit of--
oh, I'm sorry.
- No, that's fine.
- Here, I'm so sorry.
It's all right.
One for the whole family.
Got milk?
I guess you have to get used
to that when you're a dad.
I can't believe
I'm a dad.
You think
you're the father?
Yeah, I thought
there was a chance.
When you told me
you were pregnant,
I though you were...
You know,
asking my permission.
- No.
- No?
That night after the bar,
when we went back to my place,
we didn't, uh...
[ Whistles ]
- No!
- Oh!
Well, so it wasn't
because i-- no...
Just, uh...
So, what happened?
You passed out.
Are you relieved?
Yeah. I mean, it's--
I feel great.
I guess.
I guess I was starting
to get used to the idea.
Well...
I guess I can still take Alex
to a ball game sometime, right?
Yeah.
I think he'd like that.
Thank you for the encyclopedias.
You're welcome.
Are you sure
I'm not the father?
Yes.
I should have told you,
but you didn't give me
a chance.
You're right.
I've spent my whole life...
Hidden in books.
I hurt Nancy,
and I hurt you.
I'm sorry.
Are you and Nancy
back together?
I'm afraid she doesn't
want me back.
You must love her
very much.
Just give her
some time.
I will.
Are you sure
that's not my kid?
He brought US flowers.
You see how beautiful
they are?
Hi.
See these flowers?
They're for you.
They're for you.
For you and your mom.
I should put them in some water.
Here. You hold Alex.
Give me an arm.
There you go.
I'm going to put
the flowers in a vase.
Thank you.
Come on in
and sit down.
Hey, little guy.
Hi, there.
Hi.
Look. Hi.
[ Begins to cry ]
It's okay.
[ Continues to cry ]
[ Crying stops ]
Is that better?
It's okay...
Little guy,
it's okay.
I came here
so I could...
Talk to you.
Well, let me make it
easier for you.
I, um...
I don't want you
to feel obligated.
I really needed the support
throughout the pregnancy, but...
But I feel...
- As though--
- hey...
I think you've got it wrong.
You see,
from the beginning,
I've been trying to tell you
how I feel about you.
And I realize
that I've been...
Awkward, and...
Not very convincing.
But it has been a very
unusual situation,
to say the least.
And I've been...
Very confused.
I'm sorry.
No, don't say that.
Because in a way,
it's really been helpful.
I can finally admit
I'm one of those people
who's always looking
for the perfect picture.
And in the end...
I came to realize
what really matters...
Is how I feel about you.
And how you feel about me,
of course.
I love you,
Kimberly.
What greater proof of love
can I give you...
Than to tell you
that I love you
after everything
we've been going through?
I love you,
and I love this baby
like it was my own.
Michael, are you sure?
- You don't believe me?
- I just wanted to be sure,
that you wanted
to have this baby.
What are you saying?
He's your son, Michael.
He could only be yours.
Really?
Will you marry me?
Will you?
- It's beautiful.
- He's beautiful.
"Louise"?
I like Louise.
Yeah?
- Think that's enough?
- Six.
Six, that's a lot.
Closed captioned by:
Visual sound, inc.
Hollywood, ca
"row, row, row your boat." ]
Shit! Wait! Wait!
A bird just took a crap
on my shirt!
It's all over your head.
On my head?
Oh, shit!
Wasn't just any bird there,
Bobby, that was a turtledove.
You just got shit on
by the bird of love.
It definitely wasn't
the first time either.
- How symbolic, Bob.
- Definitely means something.
I've heard it means
good luck, actually.
I wouldn't want
the bird of love
crapping all over me.
Excuse me, it aimed
at the whole boat.
- Maybe, but it landed on you.
- Your love life is doomed.
I wouldn't say anything
if I were you,
because none of you
have gotten laid in months,
including Walter and he is
in a permanent relationship.
How pathetic is that?
It's hard to want to do it
when the person you're seeing
is desperate to get pregnant.
I feel like
a walking sperm bank.
You don't know how
to say no?
I have tried
about a thousand times.
And that's the last time
I tell you anything.
Excuse me, but i'm
a pretty good listener.
In fact,
I've been studying
how to read people's deepest
emotions in their body language.
The eyes can
tell so much.
What do you
see in my eyes?
I see a little boogie.
That's what I thought.
And Michael, whose balls
are so blue--
don't even start with me.
If there is one thing
I know for sure,
it's how great my sex life is.
My sex life sucks.
Are you having trouble
getting an erection?
No, the sex part's fine.
It's the relationship part
I'm having trouble with.
I love women, I really do.
But every time they
bring up kids...
Marriage and that
sort of thing,
I seem to shy away,
and I want to want those things.
Well, we'll work on this.
I guess I should tell you
this other thing.
I can't stop lusting.
Every time I look at a woman I
wonder what it would be like...
...you know,
to have sex with her...
[ Clears throat ]
And I even did it with you.
Well, we're now
at a point...
In our therapy where
transference takes place,
it's not like I think of
having sex with you
every time I come here.
I don't even think of you
as a woman anymore.
I didn't mean it like that.
The real reason I'm calling is
we're very excited about this
new company, south shore,
or rather south shore's
competition, tepco systems, inc.
Yes. It made some bold moves
on the super highway,
and we feel good about it.
Yes, it was a surprise
to all of US here at the firm.
Last week they were struggling
a little bit...
...but this week
we feel they're...
...coming along
and you know...
The iron's hot and we're
ready to strike, so...
How much do I think
you should invest?
Well, that depends
on your goals...
Personally, I wouldn't
go below 25,000?
2,500 is perfect
as an initial purchase.
Should I put you down
for 2,500 for tepco?
Well, think about it and I'll
call you in a day or two
to see how...
I'll wait for your call.
Bye-bye.
[ Bell dings ]
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning,
Mr. Montgomery.
Good morning, Jenny.
Good morning, Valerie.
Would you give me
the sketches from yesterday
and a hot cup
of tea, please?
Sure thing.
He is looking
particularly
good today.
You can say that again.
Good morning, everyone.
[ Together ]
Good morning,
professor mushnik.
I brought you some
fresh mint...
Because I know
how much you love mint.
Thank you, Valerie.
Is there anything else
I can do for you?
Anything?
No, thanks.
She wants you so bad
it hurts me.
What have we
got here, Jim?
Have you taken a good look
at that woman?
What woman?
Valerie?
Your secretary,
the one in the body that
walks in and out of here.
When was the last time you went on a date?
Jim, I don't think that's
any of your business.
Are you like one of those guys
with a mommy issue thing?
Like you don't want
to betray mommy?
You got the money, you got
the job, you got the looks...
What do you have
that I don't have?
Jim, could we
talk about this?
I'm having some real problems
with this campaign.
I know why you get
the women to like you.
You ignore them,
treat them like shit.
Women love to be
treated like shit.
Jim, I'm paying you
to work here,
not to philosophize
about women.
My problem is I'm too nice.
You have to keep it complicated.
Mr. Montgomery?
Your mom's on line one.
Thank you, Valerie.
Val, how you doing?
You look like shit.
Well, you always
look like shit.
Hi, mother.
No, mom, how many times
do I have to tell you
no blind dates?
I'm really hungry.
This is such a nice restaurant.
This is a really
nice table.
What are you thinking?
I was thinking how
beautiful your eyes are.
Thank you.
That's so sweet.
Thanks.
So tell me
about yourself.
What do you
want to know?
What do you like
to do for fun?
I like to row.
How cute.
I used to date a guy
who sailed.
Phil. He always wanted
to take me sailing,
never wanted to
take me to the movies,
never even wanted to
take me out to dinner.
He just wanted
to go sailing.
I spent a fortune
on dramamine.
Finally, I found out why
Phil liked going sailing.
He didn't want to be
seen with me in public.
He was married.
You're not married,
are you?
No, of course not.
Just checking.
So, why aren't
you married?
I have some incredible
news for you.
You got that promotion.
Honey, that's terrific.
No, no, no. It has
nothing to do with me.
Are you ready for this?
Alice is pregnant.
Oh...
Can I have some mashed
potatoes, please?
That's terrific, Nancy.
You could at least pretend
to be excited.
Why? Because some girl
who lives in Seattle,
who I've met three times
in my life, is pregnant?
I mean, I don't really
even know Alice.
You were at
her wedding.
Oh...
Ready? Set?
Go!
I'm Spartacus!
Bottoms up.
Start cleaning the bar.
My man!
Did you guys have a great
weekend, or what?
I couldn't wait
for it to end,
- why do you say that?
- Because they bore me.
Depends on what you do.
You find a great girl,
it's not that bad.
Don't you find it monotonous
dating all the time, Bob?
Who said anything
about dating?
I mean this whole thing about
wining and dining girls.
It clicks or it doesn't.
If it does,
you can take the girl
for burgers and fries,
and she still likes you.
Why don't you skip
the aggravation?
What would
you do then?
Stay home, read,
watch a movie...
Crochet, knit,
jerk off, whatever.
Why do we hang
around with him?
Stock tips.
[ Chattering ]
Hey, who's the hottie?
Don't I know her
from someplace?
If I knew her,
I would remember.
Especially if you knew her
in the biblical sense.
Watch out for
the water!
[ All laughing ]
- Hey, I'll get the oars.
- That's a good idea.
Yes, yes, yes.
Cheers.
I think we did
very good today.
Not too bad.
Not too bad.
We're coming along.
Come on,
we're hot shit.
I've got a great idea.
Let's try out for
the Kingsley regatta.
- What are you on, crack?
- Yes!
We can win.
We can absolutely
win it.
No, we can't.
Patrick!
Another round of j&b.
We want to make a toast
to the Kingsley regatta!
A toast to
the Kingsley regatta!
We'll win it!
We can do it.
What are you
laughing at?
The thought
of you guys
in the regatta.
You think
that's funny?
You guys still
dicking around
on the river?
Yes, we're still dicking
around on the river.
I've seen you guys row.
You're not that great.
Tell you what,
tomorrow morning,
8:00,
winner gets a
keg of beer.
Whoo!
That's a bet?
Oh, Jesus.
Here's a bet.
Tomorrow morning,
8:00,
we race, like you said.
But this time...
The loser has to run bare-butt
naked down the river.
- All right.
- Let's do it.
[ Hooting and hollering ]
Ah, shrinkage, shrinkage!
Feel that wind
between your legs!
Hello!
Goodbye!
Goodbye.
No doubt,
the most embarrassing
day of my life.
I've never been
so fucking humiliated.
We should have videotaped
it for our parents.
You know, Bob, we've had enough
of your suggestions.
I've had enough of
this whole rowing thing.
- I hate rowing.
- Yeah, rowing sucks.
Maybe we should go back to golf.
Or tennis, we weren't
so bad at tennis.
We sucked at tennis.
God, she has the nicest
legs I've ever seen.
She is so...
Beautiful!
What a beautiful mouth!
Does she have any tits?
Hey, watch your language.
She is practically family.
You know her?
I've known her since
she was a little girl.
She just moved here
from england.
You want to meet her?
Kimberly.
I love parisians.
I would like you
to meet some people--
Walter, Scott,
Michael and Bob.
- Hi. I'm Walter mushnik.
- Bob. How you doing?
Michael.
I have seen an awful lot
of you boys lately.
Yeah, thanks.
Yeah, right.
Oooh!
Her father was a legend
around this place.
He was a great rower.
So is she.
Like US,
I take it,
right?
Have you been
rowing long?
Long time.
Oh, yeah.
Long time.
Since the 40's.
True story.
Weird stuff.
Couldn't you tell?
Your rhythm
is a tad wonky.
Oh...
All you need is
a little practice.
Well, maybe you can
help US a wonky tad.
That's a great idea.
What do you say?
I thought you were
giving rowing up?
We live to row
and we row to live.
So, coach,
what do you say?
How do I know your intentions
are honorable?
Don't we look honorable?
Yeah, what are you
trying to say?
We could really
use your help.
This is true.
It will have to be early.
Early's good.
- We love early.
- Friday morning at seven?
[ Mouths seven ]
Great.
- Perfect.
- Fine.
- Early bird gets the worm.
- See you then.
- Bye!
- Bye-bye!
- Thanks, coach.
- Toodle-oo.
Uhhh!!!
Wow!
Unbelievable.
Oh, my god. I have a teacher's
meeting Friday morning.
Friday morning at seven,
I see my shrink on Fridays.
I have an important
business meeting.
So we'll just have
to cancel her out, right?
[ All together ]
No. Are you kidding?
[ Snoring ]
[ Clock cuckoos ]
[ Alarm ringing ]
[ Clock cuckoos,
Walter farting ]
[ Multiple bells ringing ]
[ Alarms continue to ring ]
[ Ringing ]
A quarter to seven.
You have to be kidding!
[ Alarm ringing ]
- Where is she?
- What? It's 7:01?
You look good.
Thanks.
I bet she forgot.
She didn't forget.
Hey, guys.
Over there.
God save the queen.
Good morning.
Good morning.
All right. Let's get
this show on the road.
Show on the road.
♪ Show on the road...
One... and two...
And three...
Focusing on your rhythm.
Eyes front.
Watch the oar in front of you.
We're all following
Bob here...
Fortunately or
unfortunately.
Sit up tall, tucking in...
Lower back pulling to chest...
Down and away...
I want you to feel it
in your backs, gentlemen.
Push with your legs.
Don't kick, Bob.
I want to hear the feathering.
Plum the oars.
I want to hear one oar,
not four of you.
Good Walter,
pick up the pace.
Walter, focus!
I'm focusing.
Send the finish...
Eyes up front.
Pick up the pace.
Increase the rhythm.
God, man, I haven't felt like
this since football practice.
My back is
killing me.
- Really? I feel great.
- You're sick.
You did much better.
If you worked hard,
you might make the regatta.
What do you say?
Maybe you'll be
our coxswain?
No, I don't think so.
- Come on!
- Please?
- We're really desperate.
- We could really use your help.
You really want to do it?
Yes, absolutely.
If there is any dilly-dallying,
then I'm history.
- No dilly-dallying.
- Whatsoever.
Next time we'll start
with some exercises.
Exercises. Great.
Exercise.
I can listen to her giving US
those commands all day.
She is not
a bad coach.
Not bad?
She is excellent!
I'm starting to
feel like a jock.
I don't know about you
guys, but...
I'm having kind of a
hard time concentrating.
She is a pretty
serious babe.
She is definitely
attractive.
The more I get to know her,
the less attracted I am to her.
She is like a sister to me.
Really?
I think we ought to make
a pact right here, right now.
Nobody goes out with her
like, you know...
A date-like situation.
You mean no
sexual intercourse?
Exactly.
Sounds reasonable.
Does oral sex count?
Hmmm...
Yes.
We're going
to make a pact...
Using the sacred oar
of truth.
She can make a pact with
my sacred oar of truth.
You always have to
be like that?
It's all you ever think of.
Come on,
get over here.
- We solemnly swear...
- We solemnly swear...
Not to have sex
with Kimberly...
...not to have sex
with Kimberly
for as long as we shall row.
For as long as
we shall row.
So help US,
god of the river.
So help US, god of the river.
Hey, Kimberly.
I wanted to thank you.
You're helping US a lot.
It's my pleasure.
Well, I thought
the least I could do...
Would be to
take you out to dinner.
That's very kind of you,
but entirely unnecessary.
I know a great Italian place
down the street.
I'm not into dating.
Dating?
Who said anything about dating?
I'm talking about dinner,
food, you do have to eat,
don't you?
[ Engine starts ]
Good morning,
miss Cox-swain,
coxswain, coxswain,
I'm a rhythm counter.
Sounds seriously
perverted to me.
Which scarf
on the dummy?
This scarf on the dummy.
So...
Are they cute?
Well... oh, my god,
there is one right there!
What are you doing?
Want to come in?
He certainly doesn't look
like a rower to me.
He will.
Give him time.
Hello.
What a coincidence, I didn't
know that you worked here.
Sara, Walter,
Walter, Sara.
- Hi.
- How do you do?
Whoo!
Nice to meet you.
So what are you doing
in this neck of the woods?
Huh? Well...
There is a great coffee shop
across the street.
I was just going
to have breakfast.
Really?
Which one?
Well, yes.
How about joining me?
I would love to,
but I can't...
Because I'm working.
No, no, no. You should go.
I'll stay here and
watch the shop
try the blueberry muffins.
Trust me,
you won't regret it.
After traveling with the dead
after I graduated,
I had to get
my act together.
My mom wanted me
to go to med school,
my dad wanted me to be a lawyer.
All I wanted to do was write.
You spent the summer traveling
with the grateful dead?
Yes, I sold the mushroom
burrito, you know?
Anyway, I lived
out of my Van.
And I read all of Dostoevsky,
Tolstoy, sartre, camus,
it was great and now i'm
teaching romantic literature.
How romantic.
Too much caffeine!
Out, out,
damned spot.
Macbeth?
Thank you
for breakfast.
You're welcome.
I hope you
can get that...
It's no problem.
I really enjoyed
talking with you.
I'll see you
on Monday.
"Lundi",
that's French.
Kim, listen.
We better not tell
the guys about this.
They might get jealous.
Yes. Au revoir,
a bientot.
Hi, come here.
You have a nice dog!
What's up?
Ouch!
This is lovely.
You must eat here often.
No, I've never
been here.
Signor stark,
¿come stai?
It's nice to
see you again.
Once or twice,
a long time ago.
The usual bellini,
signor stark?
Yes.
Would you like one?
Two. Perfetto.
Signor stark,
what would you recommend?
They have great pasta.
Mm-hmm.
So, you grew up in england?
What, tell me...
No. Actually I spent 12
delicious years here...
Followed by a
couple of crappy ones.
London was the aftermath
of my parents' divorce.
Is that where
you learned how to row?
No, here.
My father and I spent a
lot of time on the river.
Really?
Was he any good?
Yes, he made
the olympic team.
Really?
The Olympics?
You're kidding.
No.
Wow!
Does he still row?
No. Actually,
he died last year.
Oh. I'm sorry.
That's why I'm here.
I need to sell the house.
What about you?
Well, I remodel
old victorian townhouses.
And I live with a really
beautiful young female
...named Lucy.
Really?
She is gorgeous.
Nice mustache.
When I was a child,
we once had ten cats.
Ten cats?
That's a lot of
kitty cats.
No to mention
kitty litter.
We lived on a farm and my father
got the cats to kill the mice.
If Lucy met a mouse,
I think she'd probably...
Fall deeply in love with her
and they would move in together.
Bellini.
E salutte!
To you, Kimberly.
Thank you for dinner.
It was delicious.
Thank you.
I had a great time.
Me too.
Let's uh...
Do it again soon.
Good night.
Good night.
Wait...
Let's not tell
the guys about this.
They might get jealous.
Good night.
I just think it's better if
we don't tell the other guys,
they might get...
-...jealous?
- My thoughts exactly.
No! Come on!
What are you talking about?
There is no way
that was a strike!
That was so outside.
Unbelievable!
Sorry, I get a
little animated.
Really?
I know, I'm a little fanatical,
but I love it.
Watch this next pitch.
He is going to get a hit.
No way.
He's in a huge slump.
Come on, you don't follow
baseball?
Sometimes, there is
no way he'll get a hit.
I'll bet you.
The loser has to howl
at the moon.
You better loosen up
your vocal cords.
Ahem,
mi, mi, mi, mi.
Come on, give me
something to hit!
[ Howling ]
Pretty good.
That was good.
Drop that tomato.
Tomato?
Hi, Kimberly.
My! You look great today.
Thank you.
What's with all
the spinach?
I was going to try and
cook a spinach pie.
You were going to try
and cook a spinach pie?
Yes. My cooking is about as
confident as your rowing.
That bad?
Mm-hmm...
So where did you
learn to cook?
I picked it up
from my mom.
I don't often get
to cook for someone else.
Rowing is about
as social as I get.
Oh, dear!
That smells delicious.
This is nice.
So, Kimberly,
do you have a boyfriend?
God, no.
I was engaged...
And he got cold feet.
And uh...
Poof!
I don't know why
I'm joking about it.
It really hurt.
I imagine.
That's okay,
I'm over it.
It's been two years.
My god, two years,
I guess I haven't been that
socially inclined either.
So, in answer to your question,
no, I don't have a boyfriend.
A toast.
To the future...
And to no more poofs.
Hey, guys, did you
have a great weekend?
Yes, it was a
great weekend!
So, what did you do?
Let's get the boat.
Yes, let's get
the boat.
- Hello, boys.
- Kim.
- Hi, Kimberly.
- Hey.
One... and two...
Very nice.
Come on, baby!
Gentlemen?
May I remind you we have
less than two weeks
until the qualifying races?
Onward, ten and two.
And one...
And two...
... and three...
... and four...
... and five...
103, 104, 105...
106, 107, 108, 109...
Nine, ten...
One!
[ Chattering ]
Guys, a change of clothes,
for luck.
Good luck.
These are great.
These are really great.
Styling.
Kimberly, that's really
thoughtful of you.
Okay, guys...
You worked hard for this,
you can do it.
All for one,
one for all.
Attitude check, -- ready?
On three.
One, two, three.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Let's go.
Let's go.
Come on!
Flag!
Six minutes and 32 seconds,
you've finished last...
But you still qualify.
Yes!
Her mother says that Samantha,
that's her name, Samantha,
she was in a relationship
that ended a year ago
and she hasn't met anyone.
She has a wonderful job.
She is fabulous looking and
she has a nice family.
I think you two should meet.
Mother, please, you know
how I feel about blind dates.
It doesn't have to be
a blind date,
I can arrange
a dinner party.
- I don't think so.
- But she sounds so perfect.
Leave him
alone, dear.
How am I ever going
to become a grandmother
if my only child
refuses to date?
Mom, to tell you the truth,
I'm already seeing somebody.
Good for you,
very good.
Well, aren't you going to
tell US about her?
I don't think you know her,
but she is very special.
Do we know
her parents?
I don't think so.
Is she from here?
No.
When did you meet her?
Just relax, dear.
A few months ago?
A few months ago?
This is serious.
When are we going to
get to meet her?
Um... you know, mom,
I don't know.
Soon, I suppose.
What are you working on?
Believe it or not,
I've started to work
in my book again.
That's great.
You should be
working on it.
I don't even know why
I put it down.
Probably before you weren't
ready and now you are.
Do you do know anything
about firearms?
No.
You take the stock of
the gun to your shoulder,
this is your
stabilizing hand,
pick the target,
aim through the sights,
line it up...
Pick out the troll sucker
you want to kill...
[ Fire shot ]
[ Troll laughs ]
You suck!
- Damn sights are off.
- Give me the gun.
You have to cock...
If you aim...
[ Troll ]
Nice shot!
Good job.
Thanks.
Michael...
I can't help myself.
Kimberly, I think
you're incredible.
I feel so at
ease with you.
It just feels so right.
I'm not ready for this.
Why?
I'm afraid of being
disappointed,
or abandoned,
or rejected,
or mislead.
I'm afraid of being
disappointing...
Or misleading...
You know,
I'm confused...
One moment I feel like I've made
four really great friends...
And then I feel as though they
all want more than friendship
and I don't know how
I feel about that.
Maybe you ought to
slow things down a little.
Have you done it
with any of them?
Done what?
[ Girl falls ]
One, two, strum.
There you go.
[ Reading French slowly ]
Wait, wait, wait.
I got it.
Thank you.
[ Sneezes ]
[ Sneezes again ]
- Are you all right, Kimberly?
- You look a little peaked.
Michael's right.
You look kind of sickly.
I'm fine.
- I think we should go back.
- You're right. We should go.
Oh, god.
- Let's turn around, way enough.
- Guys, I'm really fine.
We'll just go back.
Walter,
a little harder.
You want me to give
you a ride home?
- Mm-mmm.
- No?
- I know a great doctor.
- Get some rest.
I could bring you chicken soup.
It's got natural penicillin.
I'm fine.
Let's reschedule.
- Reschedule.
- Bye!
- My bet...
- What?
She's on the rag.
On the rag, Bob?Nice, Bob.
Sick.
Jerk.
What? I meant it
in the clinical sense.
Come on give me a break!
[ Sobbing ]
I thought it
would be different,
this wasn't supposed
to happen to me.
I didn't even know that...
[ Whispers ] The condom broke.
What broke, mama?
She's the one.
She's right for me.
So... [ sighs ]
You think you're interested
in a serious relationship
with Kimberly?
Yes.
Yes, I am.
You know, relationships
take work, Michael.
Commitment, compromise.
You have to trust...
And you have to surrender.
- I--i...
- What? What is it?
I--i can do that.
Well, it takes work, Michael.
But it can be wonderful.
And if you understand this,
then we're making progress.
Wow. Maybe that's
what true love is.
Making progress in therapy.
[ Knocking lightly ]
Hi.
Hello.
I was in
the neighborhood...
I thought I'd stop by and
see how you're feeling.
I feel, um...
A little bit better.
Good.
So, the 24 hour flu
or something, huh?
No, not exactly.
No?
What was it?
Something
completely unexpected.
Oh.
Like what?
Um...
[ Clears throat ]
I'm pregnant.
You're pregnant?
Wha--?
How--i mean, wow!
Wow!
Well...
I think we can
deal with this.
Do you think you're
ready for a child?
[ Sighs ]
So, what do you
want to do?
I want to make
the right decision.
I say, have it.
I love kids.
And anything you
need from me...
Anything at all,
it's yours.
Thank you for
saying that.
I mean it.
Do you have some sugar?
Oh, yes.
Headache, too?
No, um...
They're antidepressants.
Sometimes I need
a little extra help.
Wow! Jeez!
Paranoid.
Do you think you're
ready for that--
to be a mom
and everything?
Because if you are,
it's great.
That's your choice.
I mean, who's going to
tell you what to do, really?
It's your body.
Legally and morally,
it's up to you.
I think that's good.
You know, you're starting to
look a little pregnant.
[ Begins to sob ]
I mean in a good way,
you're flushed.
It's--
you're starting to look...
Rosy...
[ Sobbing louder ]
If you need anything
I'll be out here.
Don't worry about me,
I'll be fine.
I don't know that I'm ready
to be a dad just yet.
[ Toilet flushes ]
Funny, I don't even remember
what happened that night.
Life is so cruel.
You drink a little too much,
pass out, and bam...
Here comes little Bob,
or little babette
right into the world.
But what are you going to do?
Life is short, then you
keep moving, right?
Wow, there's not
much change in it.
You just plow forward.
Right?
Everything's fine.
You okay? I'm sorry.
Is everything all right?
Good.
Good.
Good, good.
You're going to be fine.
Thank you for being
so understanding.
No, it's great.
It's going to be great.
Okay.
Are you sure
you're pregnant?
Yes.
And it's really important
that I be honest with you...
I have to be honest
with you here.
I have a girlfriend.
I have Nancy and we've been
together for three years...
And she is going
to kill me.
I'm dead.
Dead.
You know, we have to
talk about this.
This isn't the right
thing to do here.
This is an
unplanned pregnancy.
You know,
for god's sake.
You aren't actually
thinking of...
Having it, are you?
I--i don't... you don't know.
I don't want to be
a part of this.
I can't be.
This isn't for me.
No, no thank you.
Oh, shit.
Shit!
[ Squeaks ]
[ Phone rings ]
Hello?
Hi, Nance...
Nothing, just correcting
some papers.
Do I want to
go out to dinner?
No, i--i don't think so.
Sushi?
All right then.
I'll see you
in a little bit then.
Okay.
[ Makes kissing sound ]
I've been trying
to sort out
what I should do,
keeping an open mind.
And I hope you can
do the same.
What I have to say...
Is going to affect
all of you.
I want to have
this baby.
I'm a little confused...
Why does this
concern them?
Well...
No...
Holy shit.
My god.
Whoa!
Oh, my god.
You've got to be
fucking kidding me.
Have you...
Have you been
with all four of US?
I've been spending time
with all of you.
And I care... very much
about each of you.
And I've heard everything each
of you has had to say.
And...
Whatever you decide to do
is fine with me.
I would love, more than
anything in the world...
For all four of you
to be involved.
But even if I have to
do this on my own...
I really want
to have this baby.
Kimberly, wait...
I'm really fine.
I'm okay.
Did that
just happen?
How could you guys
have done this to me?
I thought we were
best friends, man.
You guys are traitors.
This is crazy.
Aren't you a traitor
too, Mikey?
No, but I love her.
I can't believe you
guys did this to me.
We had a pact.
It looks like we all
broke the pact.
Fuck you!
I wasn't
the only one.
Relax.
Try and be mature here.
There's a big decision to make.
I've made my decision.
I'm never talking
to that girl again, ever.
Well, good.
I want to know right now,
who slept with her?
Honestly, all I remember
is sleeping.
Walter!
I'm not fucking
telling you.
Oh, I see.
I see.
Scott, you didn't
sleep with her, right?
Please.
Oh, my god.
I think I'm going to be sick.
I don't understand,
what does she gain by
having all of US involved?
I mean, as fathers?
You know what?
It doesn't matter.
I've made my decision and
I never want to see her again.
Count me out, because I don't
want to be a part of this.
I would rather fucking die.
I've got to call my shrink.
I think I'm having a breakdown.
I can't believe this.
I can't fucking
believe this.
I can't believe this girl.
She's going to ruin my life.
I can't believe
that fucking slut.
Fuck you, Walter.
Hey, hey!
Enough!
Get the fuck
out of my way.
I'm never talking
to you assholes again.
What about the race?
Louise, my darling Louise.
You have no idea
how much I've missed you.
Yeah?
Is that why I haven't heard
from you in three months?
Three months?
Has it really
been three months?
Yeah.
My biological clock
says even longer.
[ Chuckles ]
I've been working
and rowing a lot.
- Rowing?
- Yeah.
Is that what you're
calling it now?
You used to refer to it
as a "cultural exchange".
It's not like that.
Really. It's...
It's actually been
kind of rough out there.
I'm in the middle
of a crisis.
I guess I could use
a little Louise compassion.
What's this?
You've had a big
disappointment in love.
You've been dumped.
Well, I wish it were
that simple.
That would be great.
Actually, I guess
I'm kind of lost,
right now.
Can I ask you a question?
Shoot.
What do you think of babies?
[ Laughs ]
Are trying to tell me
that "the boar"--
"the wild boar",
"the barbarian",
"the warrior",
is thinking about
settling down?
No, not exactly.
You're not going
soft on me, are you?
No, no, no.
I was just, you know...
[ Sighs ]
Just wondering
what you thought about...
The idea of raising kids.
Well...
As long as they're mine.
I love it.
Great.
Can I have another one?
Walter:
Babies...
[ Lullaby playing -
babies crying ]
Babies all over.
Oh, god.
You were talking
in your sleep.
What are you talking about?
You were.
You were talking
about babies.
Your biological clock
is ticking.
You're finally starting
to come around.
No, I'm not starting
to come around.
I'm not ready for a kid.
Are you ready for
a serious relationship?
Yes. What do you think
we're in right now?
I don't know.
Why don't you tell me?
There's something
going on with you,
but I can't figure out what.
[ Sighs ]
You're just
imagining things.
Am I really?
Yes, could you just
lighten up a little?
Walter?
Can you tell me
what you see in our future?
Do we have to have
this discussion at
three in the morning?
Yes, you never want
to have this discussion,
so, I want to have it
at three in the morning.
I won't.
I'm going back to sleep.
Fine.
What are you doing?
I'm packing, if that's
what you can call it.
Like I have anything
to pack.
Where's my diaphragm?
It's probably
fossilized by now.
It's in that ugly thing my parents gave me.
What the hell
is it doing in there?
I don't know.
Resting.
Can we talk
about this now?
No. We cannot talk about this.
I'm sick of this shit.
We've been together
for three years.
I'm sick of being treated
like some piece of furniture.
- Piece of furniture?
- Nothing's progressed.
- What do you mean?
- If I didn't know you better,
I'd say you were
having a affair.
- Having an affair?
- But I know you...
And I think you're incapable
of having an affair.
You don't have the balls
to have an affair.
Oh, I don't have the balls
to have an affair?
You can't even take care
of your own girlfriend.
Everything's been
going wrong for me.
I promise things
are going to get better.
That's just not good enough.
I mean, just give me a chance
to work things out.
Call me when you
grow up, Walter.
Adieu.
- Shit.
- [ Door shuts ]
I like Kimberly.
She's great.
I don't know if I'm ready
to have a kid right now.
I think she needs
our help, Bob.
What's wrong with sharing
a little responsibility?
Sharing?
I don't know, it's...
[ Knocking ]
Hold on a second.
- Hi.
- Scott, I'm glad
you called.
I'm losing my mind.
My whole world is crashing down,
and everything is just...
Let me get you a drink.
Hey, Walter.
- What's he doing here?
- We need to talk.
Guys, we known each other
for a long time.
We can't let this
end our friendship.
Yeah, we've got the race
coming up...
We should keep
the team together.
Bob and I have decided
to help Kimberly.
We have?
We have.
We have.
And we think
you should, too.
Nancy left me.
I haven't slept in a week...
And I was a complete
asshole to Kimberly.
So, does that mean "yes"?
Do I have a choice?
It's a good choice.
[ Door opens ]
You shouldn't leave
this door unlocked.
Oh, Christ!
There goes the neighborhood.
Scott:
Michael, wait.
I don't like being tricked.
Just hear me out.
If you don't like what
I have to say, leave.
Come on.
Let him go, Scott.
I don't want to part of this
if he's going to be
a part of it.
Walter, sit down.
A part of what?
Are you going to punch
me in the face again?
We've all decided
to help Kimberly.
We want you in.
No, we don't.
- Grow up, Walter.
- Eat me, Bob.
We're friends.
What's done is done.
You can't change that.
Scott:
Right now, Kimberly
needs our help.
I don't want her going through
this alone, Michael.
I know you love her.
I know you want to do
the right thing.
Okay?
[ Knocking ]
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Can we come in?
Yeah.
We've been talking, and...
We've come to a decision.
We're sorry.
We thought about
what you said...
And you were right.
We want to be there for you
during your pregnancy.
Bob: You know, to help out and stuff.
That is, if you let US.
As long as you take
that white stuff off your face.
I'm so happy.
Thanks.
I feel really good
about that.
This is going
to be great.
How great can it be?
I think it's going to add
a whole new dimension
to our lives.
Anarchy.
Complete anarchy.
Come on, Walter.
We've talked about 19th century
romanticism,
the search for true love.
The one you want to die for.
Now we're going to discuss
a more timely issue,
one that's going to help you
with your everyday lives.
And that is, how to deal
with romance in the nineties.
Okay.
Forget the prince charming,
forget, uh...
What's the bitch...?
Cinderella.
Forget the fairy tales,
because those are outdated.
They are out!
They're finished! All right?
Now is the winter
of our discontent.
To be or not to be.
[ Rambling ]
Now we are moving
into the unexpected.
Men are changing.
Women are changing.
Be ready.
This is the new
existentialism.
Where's my fucking chalk?
This is the existentialism
of the independent woman...
Let's just call her "k."
And the dependent man.
A little guy.
It's complete
and total anarchy.
Questions, anybody?
Wow, um, yes?
Is it as crazy
as it seems?
That's not for me
to decide, is it?
This whole thing has made me--
has made me realize,
I really am in love.
I really love her.
Sure I'm pissed,
aggravated, hurt,
all those things, but...
But I love her.
How nice.
Tell me,
does she fit
into your definition
of "the perfect woman?"
You know...
I'm not even thinking about it
that way anymore.
I just have these feelings.
They're deeper.
They are real deep
feelings.
I just...
I just don't know
how to express them.
Well, why don't you try.
Hello, Mr. Hartwick?
It's Bob here,
friendly neighborhood
stockbroker.
How are you?
I found a great
little stock for you.
It's a small company
that just invented a microchip,
that all the other microchip
manufactures are going
to be using.
What?
I sound a little frantic?
No, no, no.
Not at all.
It's just good
to be alive.
Listen, Mr. Hartwick,
you need to make
some money, right?
And I definitely need
to make some money.
You've got a family
to support, right?
I know how you feel.
How do I know?
No, I'm not married, but,
you don't have to be married
to support a child these days.
What do you say?
So, can I send you some
information on this--
you trust me?
Great.
That's great.
I'll have my associate
give you a call
and we can go ahead
and put the transaction through.
Great. Thanks very much.
You're making a wise investment.
Thanks. Bye-bye.
[ Shouts in excitement ]
Yes!
[ Exhales ]
Got to work a little harder
when you've got an extra mouth
to feed.
You're having a baby?
No. I got a dog.
What kind?
A chihuahua.
They're so cute.
I know what we need
for that campaign.
It relates
to the new baby boom.
"New baby boom"?
I think we should
build this campaign
around a pregnant woman.
- For a sedan?
- Exactly my point.
These pregnant women are buying
these utility vehicles
and minivans.
Half the time
it's too much car for them.
Also, they guzzle gas.
The sedan, on the other hand,
it's got 4 doors,
it's economical on gas,
and it's comfortable.
You've got a point.
Let's get some sketches
as soon as possible,
and let's put a pregnant dog
in with the woman.
Pregnant.
Valerie, can you get
the representatives
from dodge on the line for me?
What's with him?
Maybe he's finally
getting laid.
Valerie, are you
free for lunch?
- Yes.
- Great.
Hey, guys.
I got everybody
one of these.
"The complete idiot's guide
to bring up baby."
I think we should all
read this.
Scott:
I've been thinking
about the new future,
Kimberly's already been taking
her prenatal vitamins,
I think we need to start
regarding her diet.
She should be eating five
well balanced meals a day,
like burgers, shakes and fries,
to put a little weight on.
No, Bob.
She's got to put
on some weight.
- No drinking.
- Very little caffeine.
I'm also looking into
the best ob-gyn in town.
I've got a few names
and I'm going to set up
a few interviews.
I've got the names
of some pediatricians.
Bob, we should open up
a trust fund.
All right.
I can do that.
Walter?
You okay?
I've never been
so stressed out in my life.
I think I'm clenching
my teeth at night.
I'm going to give you
the number of a friend of mine.
A hooker?
My shrink, you idiot.
Oh. I have the number
of a hooker if you need it.
Guys, it's okay
to be stressed out,
but we really need to look
after Kimberly right now.
Make sure her world
is as stress-free as possible.
She use lots of massages.
What are you talking about?
What?
Actually, Bob,
it's not a bad idea.
See? I got the number
of a masseuse if we need it.
I've also been thinking about
natural childbirthing.
I think a water birthing
is the way to go.
No, no, no.
She needs to go
to a hospital.
She needs the best care
that western medicine
can offer.
What's that thing called
when you're breathing?
[ Exhales & inhales rapidly ]
You're an expert
on child birth?
I've been doing
a lot of research.
Settle down, guys.
It's not a big deal.
Let's get her a cell phone
she can carry around.
That's a good idea.
Does everyone want a beeper?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
I'll pick up the beepers.
- [ Sighs ]
- Walter?
- What's the matter?
- I don't know.
My neck is just--
I don't know,
it's like a shooting pain
in my neck...
My ass hurts,
and my back...
Relax.
Come on, man.
You've got to take it
one day at a time.
Walter needs to get laid.
No, thank you.
Michael:
Hey, guys,
we are having a baby.
We're going to be dads.
It's the most thrilling time
in a man's life.
It's our--
our first...
...child.
Wow!
I hope he's got my eyes.
And my brains.
My sensitivity.
And...
[ Together ]
Walter's cock.
Walter, are you okay?
[ Gagging ]
Medic.
Is it my weight that's
slowing this boat down?
Speed, gentlemen.
[ Mocking ]
Strong arms,
Bobby.
Michael, snap that catch.
From the finish...
Row!
Scotty, are you going to tell US
about your girlfriend?
Kimberly?
You are still seeing her,
aren't you?
Absolutely.
Are we ever going
to meet her?
I don't know, mom,
she's been pretty busy.
Really?
Doing what?
Well, she's having, er...
- She's having...
- Having...
What?
She's having a baby.
- [ Gasps ]
- She's pregnant.
Does that mean that
I'm about to become
a grandfather?
Well, that depends on
how broad-minded you are.
My boss overheard me
talking about it.
He wanted the seats.
Did you see that play?
[ Together ]
Oooh!
[ Laughs ]
Shall we?
If it's not
too expensive.
[ Telephone rings ]
Yeah? I was just curious
what kind of children's clothes
your company's
manufacturing now.
Hang on just a second.
How did that go again?
Put the needle
through this loop,
pull the yarn
to the other needle.
Knit one, purl two.
Like that?
Five, six...
Father:
Look who's coming.
- That looks so good on you.
- Thank you.
I really like this one.
I think it's great.
- Sarah?
- What?
I felt a kick.
Come on.
- Where?
- Here.
Oh, wow.
Isn't that
the best feeling?
It's amazing.
I have to call the boys.
To a healthy baby.
To a good, strong boy.
- Why not a girl?
- Sure.
What are we going to do
with a girl?
- Love her.
- Yeah, love her.
Protect her from
people like you.
Hey, girls adore
their fathers.
Good point.
What am I going to do
with a girl?
Take her to the ballet?
With a boy you can take him
to the game, you know?
You can give him a noogie.
Girls are more affectionate...
And manipulative.
Whoo.
Well, to a healthy
and happy baby.
[ Together ]
To a healthy, happy baby.
Where's Walter?
Where is Walter?
Nancy?
- I need to talk to you.
- What?
I told you I don't want
to see you anymore.
Look, look.
I'm a lying
piece of shit.
I-I-I...
- Look, I just...
- What? Just spit it out.
Look, I cheated on you.
I'm so sorry.
Why are you telling me
this now?
Because I love you,
and I want you back.
I miss you.
I miss you so much.
This whole thing's made me
realize how much I miss you.
Are you still seeing
that other woman?
Yes-- no, no.
Not really.
What do you mean
"not really"?
Well, I mean,
here's the thing,
she's um...
What?
She's pregnant.
You are a piece of shit!
I can't believe you!
You come here to tell me
you want me back
and you got another woman
pregnant?
Shut up.
The baby might not
even be mine.
You're sick, Walter!
Okay? You are sick!
You need help!
I know--
listen, it's complicated.
There's other men involved.
Look, can we get a cup
of coffee somewhere?
No, we can't get
a cup of coffee.
We're not going to have
breakfast, lunch or dinner.
Listen to me.
It's over!
I don't want to see your
lying face ever again!
Got it?
Over!
- Listen--
- and don't follow me!
- Nancy, there's--
- stay!
Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is the feature event
of our annual Kingsley regatta.
Gentlemen, senior fours,
you have ten minutes
to launch your show.
I tried to call Walter
all night.
I have no idea
where he is.
- I can't believe him.
- He'll be here.
Thanks, Walter.
[ Sighs ]
Hey, are you okay?
Are you all right?
- Kimberly, are you all right?
- I'm fine.
Do you need a glass
of water or something?
Do you want to sit down?
Finally, he's here.
Where the hell
have you been?
I don't want to talk about it.
- You look like shit.
- What happened to you?
Strong finish.
Take care of her.
We're going to be
first across.
...the leopard crew
was last year's winner,
and are far and away
predicted to win
the Kimberly senior four...
Looks like you guys are doing
a little hanky-panky, huh?
Who the hell asked you?
So, who humped her?
Gentlemen!
The musketeers,
a new crew,
have been untested
throughout this year so far,
are in Lane number one.
The turtles, who love to say,
as their sign shows,
they "do it better
on the water",
will be in Lane four.
The crews seem to be ready,
all hands are down.
The wind is somewhat
calmer now.
Gentlemen, this will be
the start.
Lane one pret?
Lane two pret?
Lane three pret?
Lane four pret?
Etes-vous pret?
Partez!
Out of the starting platform--
we have a beautiful start.
It's almost even.
Come on, baby.
The leopards have started
to move out,
with the sharks and the turtles
close behind.
[ Siren heard ]
Kimberly!
Come on!
Well, folks, the musketeers
are really moving now.
Great energy, folks.
Great energy.
The musketeers have put in
a new battery.
The crews have just passed
the 250 meter marker.
And the musketeers are fighting
their way to close to even.
The leopards are glued
on the musketeers.
The musketeers seem to be
pulling ahead.
Yes, yes,
the finish flag is coming up.
It's down!
[ Cheering ]
The leopards
are beside themselves.
One of them is swearing,
the other's crying.
They're crushed by this.
This is a upset.
- Hey?
- Wait.
Open the door.
Guys, what are you doing?
- I was so scared.
- We thought you were
in the ambulance.
The baby's fine.
- Who's in the ambulance?
- Some lady, she fainted.
- She fainted?
- Yeah.
Congratulations.
You're fantastic.
You won.
- We won?
- We won?
[ All cheer & holler ]
Michael:
Guys, three minutes.
Walter:
I'm switching from rum
to champagne.
Scott:
That's going to hurt
in the morning, Walter.
Have we thought
of any names?
No. Not yet.
I like "Edgar",
for Edgar Alan poe.
I like "Willie",
for Willie mays.
That's good.
How about "amadeus"?
"Amadeus"?
He won't get
beat up in school.
Little Wolfie...
To friendship,
and love...
To love.
...and to prosperity.
To prosperity.
To old friends,
and new adventures.
Yes.
I would...
I would like
to thank you all...
On behalf of both of US,
for the last few months.
I didn't think
that I would ever meet
four men quite like you.
Nor did I think I'd ever
have a baby like this.
Four times the love,
and four times
the complications.
Anyway, to the new year.
- Happy new year.
- Happy new year.
[ Snoring ]
[ Singing softly ]
♪ may auld acquaintance
be forgot ♪
♪ and never brought to mind
we'll take a cup
of kindness then ♪
♪ for the sake
of auld lang syne. ♪
If you're happy
with everything,
Mr. Erikson,
then I'd like to start
at the beginning of the month.
Fine with me.
Is this the Miguel residence?
I see.
[ Speaks Spanish ]
Yes, Melissa, Edgar Allan poe
was indeed found
drunk dead and beaten
on a Baltimore street.
I'm going to be
in Boston for puma
on the 16th and the 17th.
[ Continues speaking Spanish ]
You'd prefer that I speak
in English?
[ Pager beeping ]
I think something's wrong.
There's nothing wrong
with this house.
No, I mean something
is wrong with my friend.
My girl.
My girlfriend.
[ Beeping ]
God!
[ Nervous laughter ]
Okay, we're going to
resume class next--
we'll resume next week--
"the raven", "the raven".
Hang on a second.
Hello?
I'm going to be
right there.
[ Beeping ]
Oh! Oh, it's d-day!
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Is everything all right?
Everything's great.
She's popping!
It's delivery time.
Delivery?
My chihuahua's
having puppies.
Can I have one?
I could really use a dog.
Two of them are spoken for,
but if there's a third,
you'll be the first to know.
Got to go.
Remember to breathe.
Okay. This it it!
Baby, can you make it
to the front door?
Hurry up.
Okay.
Breathe. Breathe.
[ Huffs ]
[ Groans ]
Two more turns.
I'm coming, baby.
Here I come.
You're here.
Okay, good.
Okay.
I'm here.
Baby...
Breathe. Breathe.
I'm at the gate...
Coming up the steps.
Oh, baby.
Woman with a baby.
Woman with a baby.
Woman with a baby!
Woman with a baby.
Hey, you!
Get your hands off!
I'm so sorry!
So sorry!
Kimberly?
Honey?
Are you okay?
Hi.
We're having a baby.
She's having a baby.
We're here to see
Dr. Tennenbaum.
Dr. Tennenbaum has the flu.
Dr. Feinstenberger
is replacing him.
Dr. Feinstenberger?
Who the hell's
Dr. Feinstenberger?
I don't want a strange
doctor working on my wife.
I'm not your wife.
Dr. Feinstenberger
is a great doctor.
How far along
are the contractions?
[ Huffing ]
Three... four...
Yeah, three, four.
We're going to take her
down to the triage room
and examine her.
Okay.
He better be good.
[ Screams ]
Oh, bless you.
Are you all right?
Hey, buddy!
Pay up!
You want a jelly
or a glazed?
Here, take two.
- What's going on?
- She's in the triage.
- In the where?
- The triage.
What the hell
happened to you?
I hit a car.
How do I look?
You're not looking so good.
- Is she all right?
- She's fine!
She's in the triage.
Hey! Hey!
Is it a boy?
No. I don't know yet.
She's in the triage.
They're going
to come get US--
I got doughnuts.
I got glazed, sprinkles...
Here she is!
Loudspeaker:
Dr. Feinstenberger,
your patient is on the way.
[ All talking in a panic ]
Excuse me,
we need to get in there!
She's pregnant.
We need to get in there.
All right.
Easy.
I'm Dr. Feinstenberger,
I'm covering for Dr. Tannenbaum.
Who's the father?
[ All together ]
I am!
Who's the father?
- We all are.
- [ Moans ]
For lack of a better term,
we're all in spirit.
Spiritual fathers?
Oh...
We'll need four sets
of scrubs.
Gentlemen,
the changing room.
The changing room.
To the changing room.
Everything's fine.
Keep breathing.
You guys?
Come on!
Yesterday, I had
two lesbian mothers,
today, this.
Okay, how are you doing,
Kimberly?
Great!
Are you ready to push?
No!
Can we get
an epidural, please?
She doesn't need
an epidural.
Just relax.
Is there anything
we can do to help?
You could leave.
- Just hold her hand.
- I am holding her hand.
Maybe I should
read a poem.
- Yeah, a poem's a good idea.
- Would you like some music?
[ Groans ]
No music.
All right.
Get ready to push.
- The poem's a good idea.
- Here we go.
- Ready to push.
- Push it down and away.
[ Moaning ]
[ Together ]
Hut! Hut! Hut!
All right--
and push!
[ All counting ]
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Breathe! Breathe!
Good. The breathing is good.
All right.
Push!
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten!
Breathe.
Breathe, breathe.
Breathe.
That's-a girl.
That's good.
And again.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
[ Moaning ]
Breathe!
I see something here.
I want to see something.
- Wow!
- Don't look there.
What are you doing?
One last push. Ready?
Strong at the finish.
Push.
Push, push, push!
[ Moans ]
I see a hand.
[ All shouting ]
It's a boy.
[ Together ]
It's a boy!
[ Cheering ]
It's a boy! It's a boy!
Doctor:
Gentlemen?
Shhh!
Excuse me,
how can you tell
it's a boy?
Are you kidding me?
Look at the size of its wiener.
[ Crying ]
Who's going to cut
the cord?
Scott?
Uh... Michael, I think
you better do it.
Yes, I'll do it.
Between the clips.
Good job.
Doctor, congratulations.
Good work.
It's a Cuban.
He does have my eyes.
He's got my smile.
He's the spitting
image of me.
What?
Doctor, would you mind
taking a picture of US?
We wouldn't want
to miss this.
All right, everybody...
Look here.
Happy faces.
You're all a bunch
of daddies.
Look, a little print,
that's you.
It's beautiful.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Right now, I wish
we had made love.
So I'd know what it was like
to be a real father.
If it weren't for you,
I don't think the others
would have been so supportive.
Why were you so adamant
for me to have this baby?
Because I care about you...
And because I care
about the guys.
Whatever happens now,
I'd like to be a part
of you and the baby's lives.
You already are.
What do you think
of the name "Alex"?
I like it.
It was my father's.
What is it?
It's a blanket.
It started out
as a sweater,
then it became a blanket
with a sleeve on it.
It's an original.
I made it myself.
I love it.
Oh, um...
There's a little bit of--
oh, I'm sorry.
- No, that's fine.
- Here, I'm so sorry.
It's all right.
One for the whole family.
Got milk?
I guess you have to get used
to that when you're a dad.
I can't believe
I'm a dad.
You think
you're the father?
Yeah, I thought
there was a chance.
When you told me
you were pregnant,
I though you were...
You know,
asking my permission.
- No.
- No?
That night after the bar,
when we went back to my place,
we didn't, uh...
[ Whistles ]
- No!
- Oh!
Well, so it wasn't
because i-- no...
Just, uh...
So, what happened?
You passed out.
Are you relieved?
Yeah. I mean, it's--
I feel great.
I guess.
I guess I was starting
to get used to the idea.
Well...
I guess I can still take Alex
to a ball game sometime, right?
Yeah.
I think he'd like that.
Thank you for the encyclopedias.
You're welcome.
Are you sure
I'm not the father?
Yes.
I should have told you,
but you didn't give me
a chance.
You're right.
I've spent my whole life...
Hidden in books.
I hurt Nancy,
and I hurt you.
I'm sorry.
Are you and Nancy
back together?
I'm afraid she doesn't
want me back.
You must love her
very much.
Just give her
some time.
I will.
Are you sure
that's not my kid?
He brought US flowers.
You see how beautiful
they are?
Hi.
See these flowers?
They're for you.
They're for you.
For you and your mom.
I should put them in some water.
Here. You hold Alex.
Give me an arm.
There you go.
I'm going to put
the flowers in a vase.
Thank you.
Come on in
and sit down.
Hey, little guy.
Hi, there.
Hi.
Look. Hi.
[ Begins to cry ]
It's okay.
[ Continues to cry ]
[ Crying stops ]
Is that better?
It's okay...
Little guy,
it's okay.
I came here
so I could...
Talk to you.
Well, let me make it
easier for you.
I, um...
I don't want you
to feel obligated.
I really needed the support
throughout the pregnancy, but...
But I feel...
- As though--
- hey...
I think you've got it wrong.
You see,
from the beginning,
I've been trying to tell you
how I feel about you.
And I realize
that I've been...
Awkward, and...
Not very convincing.
But it has been a very
unusual situation,
to say the least.
And I've been...
Very confused.
I'm sorry.
No, don't say that.
Because in a way,
it's really been helpful.
I can finally admit
I'm one of those people
who's always looking
for the perfect picture.
And in the end...
I came to realize
what really matters...
Is how I feel about you.
And how you feel about me,
of course.
I love you,
Kimberly.
What greater proof of love
can I give you...
Than to tell you
that I love you
after everything
we've been going through?
I love you,
and I love this baby
like it was my own.
Michael, are you sure?
- You don't believe me?
- I just wanted to be sure,
that you wanted
to have this baby.
What are you saying?
He's your son, Michael.
He could only be yours.
Really?
Will you marry me?
Will you?
- It's beautiful.
- He's beautiful.
"Louise"?
I like Louise.
Yeah?
- Think that's enough?
- Six.
Six, that's a lot.
Closed captioned by:
Visual sound, inc.
Hollywood, ca