Kawalerskie zycie na obczyznie (1992) - full transcript

OKO Film Studio and
Polish Television Present

BACHELOR LIFE IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY

Screenplay based on the book
by Jakub Wojciechowski.

Production Designer

Interior Designer

Costume Designer

Make up

Editing

Sound

Music

Starring



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Get rid of that knife,

or the Germans will
laugh at you!

It’s the only knife I've got.

You have to get a new one.

First I have to earn some money.

Do you speak German?

Yes, I’m from near Poznań.

July the 3rd is the
anniversary of…?

Battle of Königgrätz.

How do you know that?

I did go to school.



We’re in Germany now.

There is no God here.
Or fasting.

I signed up for dancing classes.

One needs to bring
a girl to dance with.

No.

I don’t have a pair either.

We must remember that
a proper curtsy

is the best display
of human decency.

Now, you’ll curtsy and
I’ll point out your mistakes.

Too emotionless.

Your legs aren’t evenly placed.

Pursed lips.

Don’t bend your knees.

Look in the eyes.

Facial expression should be
cheerful and pleasant.

A gentleman inviting a lady
to dance

approaches her,

curtsies to her beautifully

and expresses his wish in
a kind and gentle manner.

May I be as bold as to ask

if I could have the pleasure
of dancing with you?

- Could I have the pleasure…
- No, look in the eyes.

Right, in the eyes.

Again.

Could I have the pleasure
of dancing with you?

- Good.
- My turn.

They need you there like

they need a hole in the head.

You don’t…

Whatever.

Tomfoolery…

Could I have the pleasure
of dancing with you?

Don’t look at your feet,
memorize the steps.

Move from your hip!

The man is leading,
imposing his will.

Legs straight but not stiff.

Michał,

show us what you’ve learned.

I can teach you better things.
Would you like me to?

This will be of better use to you.

Don’t listen to her.

We’ll go to the medical exhibition.

They will show us everything
for just a mark.

What can she know?

She’s only pretending
to be smart.

Our exhibition presents

different maladies.

Here are male and female illnesses.

Such as syphilis,

chancres, burned shafts,

dose and other infectious
maladies.

They’re all to be contracted

in the frenzy of animal lustfulness.

And these are the pictures,

showing gentlemen

and ladies who suffered
from those illnesses.

You will know by the lady’s face

that she isn’t healthy.

These are various human insides.

One always has to take a
very good look at a girl.

If she looks pale, it’s always

better to assume that she is ill.

Right…

Here we have skulls,

veins,

and nerves of a human being.

As the finale to our
dancing course

we’ll show to parents and
invited guests,

what you learned.

Now, gentlemen,
introduce yourselves

to the parents of the ladies
you were dancing with,

and invite the lady to dance.

I don’t think I can do it.

I can’t utter a single word.

I think I can manage introducing
myself to her parents.

This teacher emboldened me so

that I’m hardly afraid.

Could I have the pleasure
of dancing with you?

May I be as bold as to ask,

if I could have

the pleasure

of dancing

with you?

This is the proper way to do it.
Not that you’d know.

May I be as bold as to ask…

If you did go to a dance,
you’d bring shame to your girl.

What? Me?

Nothing you do is allowed.

Standing with your arms akimbo,

stumping your feet,
clasping your hands…

Leaning against the wall
and the door.

- Anything else?
- Just that the likes of you

should sit on their asses at home
and not bring shame to Poland.

Shame, huh?

To Poland?

Sit on…

I’ll give you shame… You!

- Good day!
- Stop!

- Good day!
- I thought it was the Gypsies.

My name is Schumman.
I used to be a lion tamer.

When I don’t travel,
I dwell in Hannover.

Would you like to take me with you?

I would. We need help
with the carousel.

Could you use two helpers?

No, we only need one.

Go.

I wouldn’t go anyway.

I’ve recently started…

feeling pain…

in my joints.

But you go with them, Michał.

Herman,

can you hear that?

It’s our boss.

With his wife?

She’s not so much his wife

as his landlady.

And he uses her as he pleases.

He has a new one every week.

Michał,

you and Herman will switch
places every two hours,

so neither of you feels
more used than the other.

Look:

heads - up, tails - down.

It says here

that this place has

several factories.

They make various kinds
of paint.

Ammonia, Aulin…

There’s a factory making
special medical products,

one for pots and one for pottery.

Let’s go and see it tomorrow.

- We’re going to the girls tomorrow.
- I’m not, for I can’t be

certain about them.

You’re daft.

I fooled around with the girl
from the shooting range.

I took her so hard standing up,
that my knees were shaking.

Standing up?

It’s nothing unusual
among us, Germans.

- You paid a thaler?
- No, two marks.

Had you given her three,

she would have lied down
for you.

Your knees wouldn’t shake.

It’s not very wise to

get it on with a girl
you don’t know.

- Let go!
- It’ll be fine that way.

Like dogs. I don’t want to.

So get out.

Get out. Better asses than
yours are in abundance here.

I’ll get a new one tomorrow!

Get out of here! Out!

Michał!

The great Count von Greisenau

has a palace not far from here.

He’s employing hundreds
of girls from your country.

Go and convince one of them.

I can’t make love to any girl

for...

if anything happens,

she’ll be disgraced and I’m
in no position to marry yet.

That’s why I have to
keep them away.

If all girls thought like that,
none would even look at a man.

Michał!

Yes?

Life without making love
is against nature.

You just have to find one,
who knows how to play it safe.

Couldn’t you bring one of your
countrywomen here?

No, they’re not like local girls.

They’re not brave enough,
to go with a man.

I feel sorry for them.

You, Germans,

at least work from dawn
till dusk.

You eat well and make
a nice living.

And we, Poles, are like Gypsies,

constantly wandering
around the world.

But they take the same interest
in those things as we do.

Do you know why?

Why?

For there is no difference

between the man and the beast.

You have to remember,
that it’s just nature.

And that it governs everything.

For instance,

during labor,

a woman is in such great pain

that she swears she’ll never lie
with a man again.

But weeks pass,

and nature calls,

so she forgets everything

and wants to be with a man
once again.

Where are you off to,
you two?

You want to burn your shafts?

Whatever…

Come, let’s go see the girls.

Didn’t you hear what
the boss said?

He has a girl anytime he wants.

We better go to the zoo.

We can have a beer there,
and the music’s playing.

Music… Beer…
We’re going to see the girls.

I’ll show you!

Don’t protest!

We’re going!

Only the rich gentlemen
come here.

There are so many
pretty girls here.

They’re like wax figures.

One prettier than the next.

They circle around those
gentlemen to keep them company.

I see how those noble
gentlemen live

and I think

that God chose well to
create the rich and the poor

but the disparity
between them

is just too great.

Come, let’s look
for different girls.

Equally pretty.

See how pretty they are?

Pretty but white as ghosts.

You want to go see them?

They’re… so pale.

Come to me.

They aren’t healthy.

One thing to remember.

If they want to give you beer,
tell them you don’t feel like it.

What?

I’ll tell you why you don’t
want to go.

Firstly, you’re a coward.

And secondly, you want
to keep the thaler.

So pretty.

I’d rather go and see
the pottery factory.

I’d rather be with the girls.

Michał, come down.

Can you stay down here
for the rest of the day?

I can’t bend over.

Michał!

Herman doesn’t want to switch?

No.

He must have burned his shaft.

It can’t be anything else.

Are you trying to heal yourself?

I got some mercury ointment.

Show me what the pain looks like.

Not quite what I expected.

Go to see a doctor before you
make it worse.

If I go to the doctor, he’ll send
me to the sick house.

Michał!

Michał!

Get Herman’s trunk

and take it

to the sick house.

Herman’s pain got me
so terrified,

that I can’t even look at a girl.

Back in the army, a doctor discovered
one of us had a burnt shaft.

He tells him to get up on a stool
and turns to us:

“Look, boys, what a burned
shaft looks like”.

And that if he came clean earlier
it wouldn’t have gotten so bad.

I’m going to town

to find a replacement for Herman.

Give me a spoon.

Wifey brought you lunch?

I wouldn’t let such a pretty lady
go without having my way with her.

To have her for just one night…

If you had, you’d sing
a different tune, boss.

Willi,

tell me,

why don’t you like it when
we talk about girls?

And why do you complain
about your wife?

Because she’s unfaithful.

Come have a beer with me

and I will tell you about my sorrow.

She’s off to see the soldiers again.

Can’t you forbid her to go?

My wife has one reply
to anything I say:

“Take me hard so I feel spent

and I won’t look around for others.”

You have such a pretty lady.

Isn’t there a way
to make peace with her?

For your wife is as pretty
as those girls,

who are chosen to play in theaters.

We have a house,

and furniture so lovely

that it glistens.

Everything’s so clean, you
won’t find the tiniest speckle.

How is it possible?

My little mind
can’t comprehend it.

Why can’t you come
to an agreement?

When we make love,

she always tells me,
it isn’t enough.

And that I have to give her more,

instead of being lazy.

Get out! Get out of here!

Such asses are all around!

I’ll find a better one!

Michał!

Wilhelm…

He didn’t feel like working,

so he hanged himself.

Go there and cut him down.

Quite an advertisement
he made us, son of a bitch.

There’s nothing left but
to pack up and go.

Ms Luther?

Yes.

I was told I can
rent a room here.

- With laundry and board?
- Yes.

Twelve marks.

Not long ago I was married

but I didn’t agree
with my husband.

So we went our separate ways.

And now I’m divorced.

The only advantage is

that my former husband
now has to give me money.

I will...

pay for a month in advance.

This can wait.

What’s paid,

can’t be forgotten.

Good morning, Mr Schulz.

- What’s your name?
- Michał.

One of your countrymen
worked here before.

He had sticky hands.

When he got them on a watch
he couldn’t put it down.

You can steal, too?

No.

Then you can work here.

Just don’t do what your
countryman did.

You’re to come to my bed tonight.

You have as far to my bed
as I do to yours. Good night.

Move.

I haven’t had an opportunity
to sleep with someone for so long.

So?

Shall we start?

While you’re still in your pants?

Just a moment.

This feels uncomfortable.

Wait.

Wait.

I’ll find the right position.

Now, you can get closer.

What is it?

What’s wrong?

Something hurts?

- What?
- Should I stop?

Silly boy. Harder.

Now I’ve had enough.

I’ll be braver next time.

Good morning!

Don’t you feel like it?

Not till Thursday.

My time takes six,
seven days.

I read once, that for a healthy lady
it doesn’t take more than three.

Every nature is different.

Just don’t leave the house.

Is this your wallet?

Not mine.

Is this yours?

No. Not mine, either.

Maybe it’s master Schulz’s?

Did you lose something, boss?

Michał found a wallet.

I lost it.

- What are you reading?
- A book.

“Happiness in Love

Is the Greatest Happiness on Earth.”

Tonight, we’ll sleep together.

Very well, but you have to be

the responsible one.

Get to bed!

Tonight, you’ll be on the
bottom and I’ll get on top.

Me? On the bottom?

Can we do that?

I don’t think it’ll work.

You know how to
press on me hard.

Get closer,

so you really are
in the mood for love.

This book

shows 21 ways of how

a man and a woman should
get close together.

We’ve only tried three.

Four.

Three.

Four.

So we still have
seventeen to go.

We do!

Mr Schulz!

Mr Schulz!

Was someone here?

Just me.

You did well.

If it wasn’t for you
the boiler would burst

and the factory would
blow up.

A Pole…

and yet he did a great job.

That’s what I wanted to hear.

Now you will know, boss, that
Poles aren’t halfwits.

Or thieves!

I’m leaving.

Like hell you are.

I don’t believe it.

I don’t like my job here.

I’m leaving, so

I can look for luck

in Westphalia.

It’s a dangerous place.

Not even a bird will survive there.

That doesn’t matter.

I’m leaving.

So now you have to get
really close to me.

We’ve been going at
it the whole night.

Isn’t that too much to ask from
a single man?

My nature must want it badly.

May I have this dance?

Don’t!

Leave her!

Let go of me!

In Saxony and Mecklenburg,

there are hundreds of girls
willing to have a boy.

And here there are few.

If one comes to visit her relatives,

she’s already spoken for
and gets married.

The boys just can’t
talk to each other.

One time, they got in
such a brawl

that they tore their custom
made clothes to rugs.

There wouldn’t be a girl
left for me.

- Why?
- I don’t have the looks.

And there are hundreds
of handsome boys,

who all desire a Polish girl.

I don’t intend to fight
against my nature.

Darling boy, come with me.

Only two marks.
Come with me.

You don’t want to come with me?

To burn my shaft?

I get checkups.

Here is my health card.

So? Will we be one?

- Fine.
- Let’s go.

We know all the nooks and crannies.

It’ll be two marks.

Let’s start.

But…

Go on.

Can it be done this way?

We’re in Westphalia, not Prussia.

Go on.

Get closer!

Let me grab that
shaft of yours.

It’s my first time Westphalia style.

Sakraten.

My nature demanded that
I became one with a girl.

And this girl was dirty
with little insects,

which we call “sakraten”.

Do tell me, what’s good
for it.

I’ll give you some grey ointment

and it will take care of them
in no time.

You could have ended up
with a different malady.

Where did you get those insects?

On Kamelstrasse.

When your nature demands it again,

you’re to go to Nobenstrasse.

Remember. You’ll pay a little more,

but you’ll be spared
misadventures like this one.

They have a great service

and the best selection
in all of Germany.

Last night

I had a dream about
a beautiful girl.

Such dreams come to you

for you have too much fire within.

And it gets relieved
in your dreams.

You ought to see a girl

and get clean there.

You’re all adults.

And yet none of you had anything
to do with the fairer sex.

Where will we find a girl
to satiate our urges?

There are hundreds who are
regularly examined by a doctor.

And their purpose is to let
everyone satiate their needs.

So urges of their nature
are fulfilled.

Just look at Franek.

Look at the pimples spilling out
on his face!

And then look at a married man,
like our landlord.

You won’t see any pimples
on his face.

Why?

For he has a lady.

We have

such a pretty landlady.

Time for bed.

Michał is right.

Those pimples are nothing
but lust spilling out.

True!

All right. Let’s stop.

I’ll give you…

I’ll give you some instructions.

Those girls will take

your shafts in their hands

to make sure you are not infected.

That’s their duty. They have to
protect themselves

so they don’t catch it. They see
a doctor every few days.

Second thing…

Don’t get too friendly with them.

If they offer you beer, tell them
you don’t feel like it.

And lastly,

it’s the largest selection in Germany.
You choose one out of ten.

- I don’t want to.
- Don’t worry, they will choose you.

Good morning!

Truda, Anna, Hilda!

Gentlemen are here
who want to be serviced.

Leave him!

Go away!

I have to check if
you’re not infected.

I can see you like me.

Come here.

Satisfied?

Hey! Stop!

Didn’t the foreman tell you not to
go in there after the explosion?

You’re not old enough
to be talking to others.

You dig your own grave. You forgot
point 18 in the rulebook?

It says, that we have to wait for
the smoke to disperse.

Why is this fool so wise
all of a sudden?

That’s good, Michał,

that you’re so interested
in these things.

You’ll make a great miner.

No, sir.

Being a miner is the saddest job
in this God’s world.

They work in stink, in heat,
they sweat and eat dust.

But the money is better
than anywhere else.

I don’t want the money.

I don’t want to waste
my life on such a job.

You’ll be a cutter sooner
than you think.

- I won’t.
- We’ll see.

Stella, Viola, Gabi!

Gentlemen are here who
want to be serviced.

Satisfied?

You didn’t show me any love.

You were lying there like
you were dead.

At least my lust has
slackened somewhat.

Get back here and
I’ll wash your shaft.

I don’t want to.

Your friends always pay
more to their girls.

You know what?

It’s quite a lot of money
for such a short while.

If everyone wanted it like you,
I would never break even.

Well…

Next customers.

I have a feeling that those girls

squeezed way more than
a thaler out of you.

No!

We’ve only paid them a thaler
each and that’s that.

But I know that’s why
they kept you there so long.

But I did give you good
advice about those pimples.

A couple of visits with the girls,
and all the pimples are gone.

You didn’t have to buy
ointments or other lotions.

So? Was Michał right?

Such mature gents like you
can’t deny their nature.

Michał! Get up, fast!

Things got hairy!

The ladies found out
we go to visit the girls

and are now making
all sorts of fuss.

We are not brave enough
to talk to those ladies.

Michał,

you’re prepared for it.
Go and tell them.

Come!

Faster!

Dear ladies!

Why are you so jealous?

We are all mature men.

We don’t envy you all
that fornicating.

When your men are back
from work,

you spread your legs
and tell them to get in.

You don’t ask whether they
have a passion for it or not.

Did you see us do it?

Did you hear us?

Everyone should get married first.

And talk later.

I did see and I did hear.
Not once and not twice.

Only last year

23 thousand men
got a divorce.

And as a reason stated that
they weren’t satisfied.

5 thousand lost their minds

for they didn’t have an
opportunity to get close

to the female person.

You counted them that you
know so well?

We will talk some more!

Michał,

come in!

You should let your landlady earn
some money instead of visiting girls.

All very well but if you betray me
things can get unpleasant.

I can even be taken to court.

- Don’t be silly…
- For breaking the marriage law.

You silly, you.

I won’t tell anyone.

You’re joking.

Or are you being honest?

What do you think?

Do get ready.

Mr foreman,

how do these chutes work

that are to replace the trolleys?

Michał is always asking something.

I’m curious and I want to

understand everything
where I’m employed.

Lukan, Dolow,

look!

All the years you’ve been working
here, you’ve never asked anything.

And he already wants
to know everything.

I will explain it all to you.

You’re not going to explain things
to a Pole, are you?

I forbid you to talk like that.

You can be a wise guy where
you come from but not here.

You come here and
our wages get lower.

Not only those folks from Poznań
but the entirety of Galicia is here.

Go complain to Bismarck
and his politics.

And if you call me a stupid Pole
again, I’ll knock your teeth out.

What?

What did you say?

Shut your mouth, you…

- …lousy Pole.
- Hey, Dolow!

Michał!

Michał,

we’re going to see
the girls tomorrow.

Count me out.

What’s wrong?

Nothing, it’s just…

You can’t get a lot of love
from a girl

who gives herself for money.

I have to go to see them

for my nature calls me.

And you said yourself that
one shouldn’t fight nature.

You know what,

we should try to meet
normal girls instead of

visiting those who
spread their legs for money.

Hell, it’s all the fault
of the Polish nobility.

They didn’t care about Poland,

they were just whoring
around Warsaw and Paris.

Their wives weren’t enough

so they went to France
to cool off.

And now we must

repent for their deeds

with our shafts stiff
in a foreign country.

How’s the water? Not too cold?

What are you doing? Can’t
we wash ourselves?

The landlady always has
to wash her guests’ backs.

That’s the custom here.

- Can you dance?
- Yes.

Would you like us to go
and dance together?

Yes.

Buy me something nice.

Pay for it.

And you’ll come to my place?

- What about panties?
- No, no.

What is it?

No great love will happen
while you’re wearing panties.

I’ll take them off myself.

What? You’re not brave enough?

Now I will get so close to you,

that you will forget to fight me.

No!

What is it? What’s in there?

You were never that close to
a male person before?

I want to.

- But I’m afraid.
- No need to be afraid.

Nature demanded this from you.
And nature can’t be denied.

I’m scared.

Great desire took over me today.

- We can go to your place.
- Sure.

What do I have to buy you first?

- Something nice.
- Oh, no.

You keep forcing me
to buy you things.

I’ve wasted so much time
and money on you.

And the way you ask makes
a man give up his soul.

But when push comes to shove
you give nothing in return.

You just say you’re scared.

I’ve had enough.

That one is rich.

- Which one?
- Dark haired one.

This one?

She’s exactly what I need.

They say she has
a furnished house.

Her name is Regina.

She’s pretty. And rich.

That’s all I need.

I like the other one.

Johanna.

See?

The furniture is nice.

And there is a double bed

covered with a plush throw.

We have a lot of china.

See how lovely that cup is?

We have plenty of linens.

And we also have

some money.

It will all be yours
when you marry Regina.

You’ll see,

that you won’t regret

marrying her.

I got it on with Johanna

three times yesterday.

It was amazing.

So amazing, that my head

was spinning.

Such a woman must have
a lot of boys.

One will never fulfill her.

I think… I’m getting married.

To Regina.

Michał, if you want to
get somewhere in life,

you better stop seeing her.

You want to marry
a German girl?

You’ll never be happy.

You’re Catholic, she’s Protestant.

Such marriages are
often unhappy.

You’re silly,

it’s not what that’s about.

This Regina was so lustful that

she just kept chasing boys.

She did it for so long that finally,

they broke her. And now she’s
wearing a special belt.

Just don’t tell anyone I told you.

I won’t.

But I’ll check for myself

if that’s true.

No one else can see us
but God alone.

Give it a rest.

No one will buy
a pig in a poke.

Be honest, don’t you have love
for the male person?

Are you not capable of loving at all?

First you have to marry.
Then it’ll be time for love.

I’ve had enough.

It’s the last time I’m talking to you.

I didn’t think you were so phony.

If you can’t be with a man,

you don’t have to make
a fool out of me.

I wish you luck.

I think that you wanted to
force yourself upon my daughter.

I wanted to take her,

for that is my duty.

I wanted to see if what
people are saying is true.

That your daughter can’t
be with a man.

No one is stupid enough
to buy a pig in a poke.

It was your duty to tell me
everything about it.

You are God-fearing,

you go to church every day,

and yet you’re double tongued
like vipers…

And so is your daughter.

I only wish,

I hadn’t lost all that honor.

And I am sure you wanted
to force yourself upon her

and you’ll answer for it!

Six marks.

Fine.

- Hello!
- Herman, hi!

- Good morning.
- He’s a friend.

I don’t have a job.

I’m a pimp.

I take care of those who spread
their legs before everyone.

I watch over those girls.

And if someone refuses to pay,
I can thump them with a stick.

Just wait. Give it two days
and you’ll be hooked.

I’ll have an urgent matter
to attend to.

She wants my shaft
in her chimney.

I’ll get 10 marks for it.

I don’t know how can you
feel love for such a dame.

It’s just business.

No, I don’t think I could

make a living in such a way.

That’s ‘cause you’re daft.

Lovely to see you.

- We’re going.
- We’re going!

Finally!

Hurry up, the tram is coming!

Don’t you worry.

We made it.

New conductor.

- Here.
- That’s how it all went.

- I can’t believe it.
- You’re joking!

She must work here somewhere.

Really?

So we must ask someone.

Where do you think you’re going?

To look for love.

I already found mine

but maybe we could find
someone for him, too?

We probably could.

I’m not looking for a girl,
who only wants to fool around.

But she should be lenient.

There is one who dresses in…

She must be working here.
She had such a nice collar.

A lot of Polish girls work here.

One prettier than the other.

But you have to come
on a different day than Sunday.

Why are you crying?

I wanted to stop working
at the factory

and leave all the things in order.

But our inspector kept
my last payment.

And said it was for a gift,

we all got at the factory
for Christmas.

We shall go to that inspector.

What’s your name?

- Agata.
- I’m Michał.

Is this him?

I believe that what was once given,

cannot be taken away.

You are wrong.

The law clearly states

that employer can keep the gift,
or money equivalent for the said gift.

You can’t protest against that.

But if she decides to
come back to work,

I’ll make sure she gets paid
everything we owe her.

Are you her man?

I am.

Michał…

Yes?

Did you…

Did you and Agata…

Did you become one already?

I did not force her
to give me love.

And I received no love from her.

There’ll be time for that.

I see you have plans for her.

I think I do.

Józia and I are going back to Poland.

It’s easy to forget

your prayers

and your mother tongue
when you live abroad.

You can be Polish

even if you live somewhere
else in the world.

Yes…

Well…

May God be with you.

And now…

What is that?

Society of Trams, something,
something…

To the substitute
conductor no. 1292.

“We are happy to inform you
that as of next month

you are employed as a tram driver

with a monthly salary

of 110 marks.

And included in our pension fund
for the Society of Trams’ employees.”

Hey, you!

Your Agata

and other Polish girls

got lashes for not wanting
to go to work.

They said it was Catholic holiday.

Who hit Agata?

- The inspector did.
- Where is he?

In his office.

Police! Police!

Police!

You can..

consider it.

If...

If you want to be with me...

you know that I have no money…

You can write to me,

or you can answer me now.

Wait for my message.

And if...

you find some other happiness…

Don’t tread all over it.

500 marks for a miner

who sent the highest number
of trolleys to the surface.

You are the lucky one.

- Thank you.
- My respects to you.

Now my beloved can come
and join me.

And this is how great happiness

ended my journey through
the wilderness of love.

Translated by: Emilia Puszczyńska