Kate Nash: Underestimate the Girl (2018) - full transcript

MUSIC: Life In Pink by Kate Nash

# I think about death all the time

# Do you think that's morbid

# I'm not like the other girls

# Don't get me started

# But I'm

# Trying

# Well, I wish that I could take you

to another time

# When everything was cool and my

mental health was fine

# But I'm

# Trying

# I'm not lying

# When you're in my head

# Well, I wish it was someone else

# Mad at me again

# And that's not even what I said

# What's wrong with me?

# Am I a person yet?

# What's wrong with me?

# Oh!

# Wish I could let my brain

# Decide and stop the pain

# I keep heart-shaped glasses close

to me

# For when it rains Life in pink

# Rip it up and start again

# But I'm loving you the same

# I keep heart-shaped glasses close

to me

# For when it rains Life in pink

# Life in pink

# Life in pink... #

Oh, good, great.

Dressing room's upstairs.

OK, I'm kicking you out, I've got to

get ready in here.

I'm steaming my vocals before we go

on cos it helps with my throat

cos I get problems on the road, and

I just put these vapours in.

It's lavender, eucalyptus, menthol,

pinus.

P-I-N-U-S, not P-E-N-I-S!

A bunch of shit, basically, to clean

my tubes,

and help with my...

- You know, people are like,

yeah, touring, yeah, it's so

glamorous and all the rest of it.

But you know, when you're living in

here, it does make it fairly

tough from time to time, and people

get sick,

and that's the main thing.

- You can't be a wimp to do what we

do.

See you tomorrow.

- See you tomorrow.

- Bye.

Oh, are we live-streaming?

- Right here.

- In three, two, one.

- Can you talk a little bit about

your experience as, like, a

female artist in the music industry,

and what that's like?

- How long do you have?

I'm not going to, like, sweeten it

for anyone.

It really sucks.

But music is, like, not a choice for

me.

How are you?

- I'm great, how are you?

A bit starstruck.

- I'm always going to want to

connect with people.

I love playing live.

Like, I'm going to fucking want to

find a way to do it.

But sometimes, I don't really know

if I can do this.

Like, I don't want to fucking do

music any more because it's like,

it's just too hard to keep battling

all these wankers all the time.

This is a matter of life and death

to me,

because making music, like, keeps me

alive,

and being in the music industry

almost has killed me

a bunch of times.

- You're doing the leather coat and

everything?

- Yeah. OK.

- You did the tattoo already, right?

- Yes.

- OK.

- I did.

Hi, guys.

CHEERING

WHISTLING

MUSIC: Foundations by Kate Nash

# Thursday night

# Everything's fine

# Except that you've got that look

in your eye

# When I'm telling a story

# You find it boring

# You're thinking of something to

say... #

I can't tell you how many times I've

played Foundations

cos I've played it so many fucking

times.

# ..Then you'll call me a bitch

# And everyone we're with

# Will be embarrassed

# And I won't give a shit... #

That song is weird because I have

such an interesting

relationship with it.

It, like, changed my life.

It literally changed my life, that

song.

# ..My fingertips are holding on to

# The cracks in our foundation

# And I know that I should let go...

#

That was my biggest hit, you know.

It's amazing playing that song live

because everybody sings it.

# ..And every time we fight I know

it's not right

# Every time that you're upset and I

smile

# I know I should forget but I

can't... #

I was always, like, labelled a silly

little teenage girl who was writing

in her diary.

There's nothing silly about being a

teenage girl,

that's actually one of the most deep

things in the world.

That was what my fans really loved,

that's why I had a number one

record.

When I look back on my career now,

I'm like,

God, I was just not ready for what

happened to me.

- Her album Made Of Bricks, number

one in the British charts

this August, please welcome Kate

Nash, everybody,

Kate Nash!

- So, your single Foundations has

been at number two, it seems

like for ages.

It was held off the number one spot

first by Rihanna,

and her bloody Umbrella, and now by

Timberland.

How frustrating is it?

- I've kind of been finding it quite

funny cos I didn't even expect

to be in the top ten.

During Made Of Bricks, I was like so

young,

and my life drastically changed.

It was a really crazy thing to go

through.

People are like chasing me to a

taxi.

And I was like, "I'm not Beyonce!"

- This is the whole side of fame

you're going to have to get

used to now.

- I feel like now I'd be much more

equipped to handle that,

but, like, when you're young and

you're inexperienced,

you just have to, like, keep, keep,

keep working...

- And the winner is...

My daughter Peggy will be very

pleased, it's Kate Nash!

- I want to say heads-up to all the

women, as well,

in this category who are helping to

eradicate the misconception

that female is a genre, cos it

isn't.

Thank you!

It wasn't like I was trying to be a

pop star.

I just wanted to make songs.

# The stars in the bright sky looked

down where he lay

# The little Lord Jesus asleep in

the hay. #

I mean, I guess I actually started

playing melodies on the piano,

making up melodies when I was a

really little kid,

and that's why I ended up getting

piano lessons at seven years old.

I was just always attracted to

music.

I grew up studying theatre and,

like, wanting to make theatre

shows, and wanting to make

interactive art, and music became

the most accessible way of doing

that.

When I finished school, I was

working in Nando's

and just being like in a fast-food

restaurant in a dead-end job.

One day, I fell downstairs and broke

my foot.

I was bored, and I was forced to be

at home,

and I had nothing else to do, like,

literally, my future prospects

were the chip fryer and serving

people at Nando's.

So that's when Mum and Dad bought me

my first electric guitar.

So I spent those six weeks just

writing songs,

uploading, creating a MySpace page,

making demos, and researching

into how to make it as a musician,

basically.

I don't think I would have done it

if I hadn't broken my foot.

- Welcome along, this is X-Posure on

X FM,

I'm John Kennedy, and I'm very

pleased to say

that Kate is here.

- Hi. John, do you know what?

You were always, like, my first

play, as well,

you played my first-ever radio ever,

you have a letter from me still,

don't you?

- I have a hand-typed letter, not

even done on a PC.

- "I've got 700 friends on MySpace.

"Please play my music."

- I first learned about Kate through

a letter and a CD,

and I started playing that on the

radio.

It was a big, big favourite on the

show.

- MUSIC: We Get On by Kate Nash

# But asking for your telephone

number... #

- It was this great little pop song,

and it still stands up.

- # And I bumped into you... #

- There was a great way that Kate

was writing at that point,

which was really simple and honest

and imaginative.

There was a lot of imagination in

there.

She came in to do this radio

session, and there was a fantastic

response, a really immediate

response to it.

Loads of people really connected

with her songs.

Some people were getting in touch

saying, I was in tears

when I heard that.

It's kind of rare for people to

connect in that way immediately,

just with one play or one

performance of a song.

Everybody wanted to see Kate.

There were queues around the block.

- # ..We get on. #

- It's also really gratifying to see

a massive percentage

of the audience were female.

And too often, at rock gigs, it's a

kind of 70-30 male-female

divide, and this was easily the

other way.

- All of a sudden, the internet just

blew everything up.

I was right in the window, major

record labels,

managers, like everyone was using

MySpace.

- She got signed because she had the

most followers on MySpace.

Six months later, doing these

enormous gigs.

- I still lived in, like, my

parents' house in, like, my small

bedroom

that I'd had since I was 15.

Everything has been like insanely

quick.

It kind of, my head gets a bit...

I don't know, a bit confused,

sometimes.

- In the UK, we have a real thirst

and hunger for new sensation.

The curve can be so quick that you

can be discovered

and be the next most exciting new

thing,

and the next morning, almost

discarded.

- MUSIC: Agenda by Kate Nash

# Let it

# Let it

# Let it... #

I mean, I don't know how to explain

it more than, like, being bullied

by the media, like, how would you

feel if you were

written about in magazines and

called fat and ugly,

and your acne was circled in papers?

I got called everything.

Slut, bitch, fat, ugly, spotty,

annoying, chav.

Getting hate mail, death threats,

rape threats.

People saying that they hate you,

that you're shit,

that they're going to kill you, that

they're going to stick a bomb

up your cunt and you're going to

explode.

The older men that I worked with,

they didn't look after me or care

about me as, like, this 20-year-old

girl whatsoever.

They just kind of like worked me

like a donkey,

and I made loads of money for them,

sold over a million records

and toured the world extensively.

It was after I finished touring Made

Of Bricks,

I honestly didn't know if A, I could

ever write another song,

and B, if I ever wanted to, cos I

was just so tired

and sick of it.

Sometimes you also need to release

the beast within,

am I right, Linda?

There's another album that was

really important to me,

and it was all about learning how to

be a badass bitch

from hell and not taking shit from

anyone.

My second album Girl Talk, just

being like, I don't care

what you think, I'm going to have

fun.

And, like, if I want to make punk

rock music, I'm going to.

MUSIC: Sister by Kate Nash

# There was this cool, cool girl

# She was about your age

# She kinda had your smile

# She kinda had your face... #

- Yeah, are you going to do that

first?

- I think so.

- OK.

I produced and engineered and mixed

Kate's record.

She wanted to move away from more of

the poppy sound

that she'd be known for.

Yeah, she definitely started wanting

to make a more aggressive,

punky, in-your-face girl-power

record.

- # ..She wanted to be my lover

# But my heart was with another and

# Yeah, I really wish that we could

be friends

# But I know that I'll never get you

back again... #

She was exactly the kind of artist I

wanted to work with at that time

because she didn't care what anybody

said,

she just did her thing, and she

wasn't listening

to other people's opinions.

- The only person that she was

listening to was herself.

- My album was just like all I could

think about.

I would just do this stuff

overnight, you know?

Then, I was going to the label and I

was like so proud

of it and I was like, "This is the

best work I've ever done."

And they didn't see what this meant

and where it could go.

So I felt like I was being

underestimated by my label.

One night, I slept in the back of my

car because I was so angry

I couldn't drive any more, and I

wrote this song called

Underestimate The Girl.

I just wanted to shake things up.

I wanted to piss people off, push

buttons and like break

the mould of what you're supposed to

do as an artist.

I dropped it online.

The internet just blew up.

I was, like, trending. People were

like, "Is she on drugs?

"This is horrible, this is crazy."

Everyone was freaking out cos it was

so different

to what I'd normally done.

I remember NME wrote this article

that was like,

"Kate Nash just committed career

suicide, and it sounds amazing."

You've got the opportunity to do

something crazy and cool,

you have a stage to do weird stuff

and freak people out.

One of the weirdest texts I've ever

gotten in my life was a text message

to tell me that I was dropped from

my record label.

As soon as I'd made something that

was creatively different,

they just ditched me.

It was really shocking.

I was not expecting it at all.

I think I was just quite naive about

not knowing what they wanted,

and not really getting that.

It's a shame that labels don't allow

artists to develop and grow and go

through all of the things they need

to go through.

I was so scared, actually, of

sinking as an artist.

I was scared that I wouldn't be able

to tour in the way that I wanted

to tour any more, that I was going

to run of money.

I was like, "I don't know what to

do, I don't know what to do."

So I decided to put the record out

independently and tour

it in a minimal way.

I used the money I made from Made Of

Bricks to self-fund

the whole thing.

Then we just were on this crazy

crusade throughout that intense

crazy period of time

that was just like me and my band

and my fans,

and my touring party, and that's,

like, all we had.

- Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to

say it's been our pleasure

serving you this evening, and we

hope...

- There were certain things that I

needed to achieve

with Girl Talk to prove to myself,

and to the world,

I can still do this.

If I can get there independently

with no support from the media

and the industry, then, I can stay

afloat as an artist.

- I can hear life, that's a good

sign!

How are you?

- I'm nearly ready, I'm not quite

ready just yet.

- OK, well, we'll see downstairs in

a minute, OK?

My name is Brett and I am the tour

manager for Kate Nash.

I've been working with Kate for a

few years now.

Kate being dropped by her record

label without doubt was probably

the making of her.

It was just a case of Kate was just

like,

right, I know what I want, I want an

all-girl band,

I want a young band.

Kate was going to play bass to get

away from the piano.

It does look impressive on the live

show when all the girls

are rocking out.

- Emma doesn't like doing solos.

- It's just if I wanted to be a solo

wanker,

I would have played guitar.

- It's not true, man.

- It is, and these bitches are like

shredders and I'm a groove

machine, so, it's different.

- Do what you do, though!

You don't have to show off.

You just have to play what you're

comfortable with.

- It's rock and roll, bitch!

- Yeah, as you know, it just

stresses me out.

- So, I always like to shout out to

all the girls in the audience.

Because there are less female

musicians than there are boys,

so if you're a girl which a lot of

you here tonight are,

and you're interested in music,

then, please don't shy away

from it because you feel like, I

don't know, you're not

good enough, or you're too shy, or

you can't do it or some shit.

Like, who cares, just do it and it's

fun.

This song I wrote when Pussy Riot

were imprisoned.

And this song's called Free My

Pussy.

And I'm going to be backed up by my

girl band,

Alicia, Emma and Linda are up here.

# Free my pussy

# Free my pussy

# Free my pussy, let it go

# Free my pussy

# Free my pussy

# Free my pussy, you say no

# Meow, meow, meow, meow

# Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow,

meow, meow, meow

# Meow, meow, meow, meow

# Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow,

meow, meow, meow, meow!

# Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow,

meow, meow, meow

# Meow, meow, meow, meow

# Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow,

meow, meow, meow

# Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!

Oh!

That was so good!

- Ready?

- You're a huge inspiration.

- You're so great.

- We just started a girl band and

definitely our first...

- Did you?! Oh, my God, that's so

cool.

- Our first song that we wrote

together

is most definitely inspired by you.

- I tour because I love it.

Touring is also when my work becomes

tangible.

- You're amazing, keep it up for

ever.

- OK, I promise.

- The biggest thing with Girl Talk

was, cos Kate had been dropped

from her label, it was to try and

still have a show with big impact

and a big sound on a fraction of the

budget.

Even though we'd kept the costs

really, really down,

still, it's not cheap, you know?

We're playing 200- and 300-capacity

venues, where there's no physical

way you can make enough money from

those shows to even

cover the expenses. When you've got

a label, it's great, you know,

they fund it. But when it's coming

out of your own pocket,

you know, you can soon get quite

nervous when you've lost

you know, tens of thousands of

pounds, let's say,

with no guarantee that money's going

to come back.

- Luckily, I found Gary, so I have

this wonderful new manager.

- Are you coming?

When I met Kate, she was kind of

going through this bad point

of getting dropped and putting out a

record on her own.

I told her, as long as she was

patient and we could make

some changes over the next three to

four months,

hopefully we could turn things

around. And we really did.

You know I got you covered, Nash.

- Yes.

- She had a good 18 months of

touring.

- DJ SPEAKS IN MANDARIN

- ..the Big Drive Home, we never

stop the beat.

Please welcome Kate Nash to our

studio, woo!

- Xie xie.

- Your first time in China.

- Yes, yeah. First-ever time,

I can't believe like we're playing

the show tomorrow

in that amazing Bird's Nest, it's

really exciting to be here.

OK, yeah.

Can we just do that again, just

check it a bit more.

- Can we sound check and finish?

Alicia's freezing, seriously.

- A lot of people lose belief in you

when you get dropped

from a record label.

I was so relieved, because I had all

these doors shut,

that someone was like passionate and

excited to come and be there for me.

Gary was that like pit bull, he was

a fighter, he's aggressive,

he went for it.

- Those apples!

- But they're like so sweet.

- It's really good, we need to bring

these to LA.

- Yeah.

- And London.

- And start a business.

- Yeah. If this whole music thing

doesn't work out, we've got an apple

shop.

- OK.

And me and Gary kind of scrambled

like maniacs to keep me afloat

as an artist and successfully tour

the record and put it out.

- Here we are in the hotel in

Beijing.

Kate and the girls are rehearsing

right now in the room for the show.

- KATE PLAYS GUITAR

# ..I've been saving all this stuff

inside of me for you

# But you ain't giving me the best

# You were cool

- Cool

- # I even said that

# You were cool

- # Cool

- # You were cool

# You were cool

# Ah, ah, ah-ah

# Oh, oh, oooooh

- Ooooooh...

- #

THEY LAUGH

OK.

- Is there anything here we can

take?

- So, Kate's manager now is, er,

he's fantastic for her career.

You know, now to be successful,

everyone has to push.

I've never met anyone that's pushed

an artist so hard.

- Where's your vitamin C stuff?

I'm going to make you one, too.

- Oh, er, in my purse, where's my

purse?

- Gary, he's super proactive.

We do have a few battles where I'm

very protective of Kate.

I can kind of tell when, you know,

she needs to sleep.

That's where we have battles, you

know, and, er...

But that's how it should be.

Absolutely maximising the most out

of her time,

and, yeah, really hitting all the

marks, you know?

- SHE SINGS A SCALE: #

Ya-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhh

# I'm really, really nervous! #

- Shit, you've done this 1,000

times.

- I know.

- Stealing three towels from your

room.

At least there aren't any there...

And we're off to Bird's Nest

Stadium.

- HE SINGS A SCALE:

- # E-ee-ee-ee-ee-eeee. #

One more whisky? Nah.

Where's our guy? Is that him right

there?

- OK.

- We're on our way.

- I feel sick, I'm so nervous.

- Come on, guys, we are in a rush.

We need to do make-up and get her

dressed first.

I'm sorry, you can't ask me last

minute to do press stuff.

Where's the dressing room?

- OK, we're heading to the dressing

room right now.

- No, this is the press room.

- Not here, I'm so sorry.

It's next door, it's next door. The

first door, left, left.

- Dressing room.

- Can we all go out and let her get

dressed?

Everyone.

- # You can spend your whole life

# Getting down on one thing

# You can waste all your time on one

idea

# But what you gonna do now, baby,

when it all caves in? #

Touring for the record,

I worked harder than I've ever

worked in my life.

I didn't have one day off for two

years.

I do like being independent in terms

of being able to, like,

make all the decisions and be a

control freak about my art and about

my live show and about everything.

- I'm transforming Kate into a

warrior boss bitch.

- With Lollapalooza, getting there

was just such a big deal

cos I was like, I actually can do

this and with no record label.

CROWD CHEER

# You don't treat me like a friend,

yeah

# You don't treat me like a friend

# I've been saving all this stuff

inside of me for you

# But you ain't giving me the best

# You were cool

# You were cool

# You were cool

# You don't treat me like a friend

# I ain't giving you my best

# You don't treat me like a friend,

yeah

# I ain't giving you my best

# I coulda told you the things that

we'd do

# I coulda told you the fun that

we'd have, yeah

# I coulda told you the stuff that

we'd see

# Ah, ah, ah. #

It was really fun, though, wasn't

it?

- It was so good.

- My first thought was, like, crowd

surf!

- And then you go, you're climbing

back.

- THEY LAUGH

I, like, every single one of them, I

held, like, their bums,

to make sure they didn't fall down.

- My mum said, "Saw you, great show,

so many people.

"You girls killed it! Amazing show.

Keep on shining."

- I live for touring. I love it.

But I wasn't making money off those

tours.

It was costing me more to tour, you

know?

So, I've had some times throughout

this year when I'm like,

well, maybe I should try and like

figure out a different way

of making money.

I moved to America to make my next

record.

Where are we?

LAUGHING:

- We're in Burbank.

- Where the fuck is that?

So, the British music industry and

media is kind of dominated

by what's hot right now.

Whatever the version of that is.

Like, that's not me.

And I've just found America to have

more exciting options for me.

Look at all the stuff I could buy.

I want everything in this shop.

Like, everything.

- 449. Look at this! Polaroid.

- And LG.

- 358.

279, that's the TV you're getting.

And it's cheaper.

- All right, boom, sold. Sold.

Sold to the crazy lady in the cat

T-shirt.

- I want to rudely interrupt. You

are Kate Nash, cos I've got your

music.

- Oh, that's so cool!

- What're you doing in...?

- Well, I moved here, and I'm

writing my next record.

- Really nice to meet you.

- Really nice to meet you, thanks

for saying hi.

I want to put my next record out on

a record label,

cos I love doing it independently,

cos of how much it's taught me,

but, er, it's definitely difficult.

It's hard to be starting from

scratch again,

especially financially, after

working for so many years.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Stella.

I've got a dog. I rescued a dog

called Stella off the streets.

I love you.

STELLA PANTS

I think that means she loves me.

too.

Look, I'm going to put this up here,

look.

Alicia is, like, my best friend and

my drummer.

She's really awesome.

- Kate was looking for a drummer and

I was, like, Kate Nash, yeah,

that'd be cool for me, I like her.

The description for, like, what she

was looking for in a drummer said,

"A female that looks like Joan Jett

"and plays like Travis Barker."

And I was like, well...

..OK, yeah, I get the Travis Barker,

like, playing hard, and energetic,

and not just like, you know,

whatever.

So I was like, that's me. But then I

was like, the Joan Jett thing,

that could either mean she wants a

cool rocker chick like me,

or she wants a white girl with,

like, dark hair and whatever.

So, I was like, I don't know, I

think maybe she wants a white girl.

- SHE LAUGHS

- So...

- Which way?

- This way.

- OK.

Heave ho.

Take it slow, take it slow, please.

Working on songs and working on my

record is my main priority

and focus at the moment.

But also, like, I studied theatre at

school

and I was very passionate about that

and wanting to be an actress.

So I would like to explore, like,

film and theatre.

I definitely want to prove something

in the acting world.

- I love it.

- It's good, right?

I really just feel like I'm at home

now.

- Good.

Well, now, you can stay here for,

like, five years!

- KATE LAUGHS

I also want to sign a publishing

deal, cos I need money.

A publishing deal is not a record

deal.

It is being paid to write songs.

So, I want to write songs for other

artists,

write for movies and, like,

adverts...

IN AMERICAN ACCENT: ..commercials.

But my deal, I was given a chunk of

money to live off of.

It's kind of so that you can afford

to be an artist and just make songs.

This is so sweet.

Get off! Don't you dare touch them!

- So, we'll get her a publishing

deal and then we'll work on her

record,

keep working on her record, then go

from there.

Hopefully, I'll be able to get her a

recording deal in the next

probably two or three months.

Kate was so adamant about this

record getting out there

that she wanted to spend her own

money,

and that's part of the reason now I

want to put this through a major

I don't want Kate to spend her own

money.

- Great deal, good job.

- Yeah, looking forward to working

with you.

SHE LAUGHS

- Kate and I have a really great

relationship because we actually

started out as personal friends.

- I haven't signed a deal in seven

years.

- I know, it's so great.

I wouldn't say that it's Kate

starting over,

but, it's Kate jumping back into a

world

that she consciously chose to leave.

She's now wanting to get back into

that world that,

you know, created Foundations

and gave her a

multi-platinum-selling record.

We're not selling as many records.

What worked ten years ago isn't

relevant now.

So, there's definitely going to be

some culture shock, I think.

- Camcorder.

- SHE LAUGHS

- Put the headphones on so it looks

professional,

in this cardboard box of doom!

- The publishing world is about

people writing songs for other

people.

So, I go into sessions and we write

pop songs for other artists.

SHE SINGS

Wait, I was out then.

SHE FINDS THE NOTE

- # I still do it for you

# Cos I'm... #

- No, let's get another one.

- # Just a family vibe. #

- Going to write another one.

I love writing songs.

A lot of these songs just get lost,

no-one ever hears them,

and they never get picked up.

No-one's getting paid, either, so

you only really see money back

if you get a number-one hit or

something.

I want to do it again.

SHE SINGS

Oh, I did a different thing then.

- Yeah, always punching.

- But I like that.

- Yeah.

But do it one more time, just the

ending. The same one.

- SHE SINGS

- That one, that's great.

You know, it's very, very difficult

to get a cut. It just is.

It's just very hard.

So, we're going to have a bunch of

stacks of the same thing.

- SHE SINGS

- I think that's cool.

It's like a lot of label execs are

just half asleep,

listening to the song that you

slaved over for days,

sometimes weeks, sometimes months,

it doesn't matter.

And they're listening to the first

ten seconds of it,

and then they're skipping to the

next one.

- SHE SINGS

- Songs don't really make a lot of

money these days. You know?

Streaming sort of killed that.

- HE PLAYS GUITAR

- It's not just about, get your song

on the radio and hope you have

a hit and hope it works, cos

business is changing all the time.

Now, with social media, to tie in

streaming opportunities

and brand partnerships and all the

different ways

of breaking an act now, that just

weren't even around ten years ago.

I'm constantly approaching agencies

because it's a good opportunity

for Kate to build a relationship.

- KATE DOES VOICE EXERCISES

- Upshot Marketing Agency, we do a

lot of great stuff

with musicians and other artists,

and Live Nation brought over Kate

Nash.

- What will you do with Kate?

- Oh, hm. We have a great portfolio

of brands, the sky's the limit.

How about that?

- HE LAUGHS

- We're going to perform in front of

the people in this office,

provide their entertainment for the

lunch.

- SHE LAUGHS

- I know.

- CHEERING

SONG INTRO STARTS

# You don't treat me like a friend,

yeah

# You don't treat me like a

fri-e-e-end

# I've been saving all this stuff

inside of me

# But you ain't giving me the best.

#

- Those things, you may not see the

immediate payday,

but she went up there, she won them

over, she talked to everybody,

she performed. Those things go a

long way.

You know, my job is to bring

opportunities to my artists.

We had an opportunity recently for a

commercial.

- Ye-ow! That was kind of cool!

- It was kind of, I'll save that

one, cos we can put a couple of them

in.

- Ye-ow!

# Poor me, poor me

# You must take pity on poor me

# Ye-ow! #

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- We're here doing a couple of

commercial spots,

and it's pretty much, it's one spot,

but we're providing

three different songs.

They're cover songs, they're old

blues and old spiritual

standard songs, so it's kind of fun

giving them a new twist to things.

- # Yeah, you'll come back one sweet

day

# Yeah, you'll come back

# One sweet day. #

- I believe it's some sort of a face

product commercial,

or, like, a face wash...

..I believe.

So, it's, er, yeah.

- I said weird things. It's just

such a weird world.

- Yeah.

- I just got a call-back, another

call-back,

for this HBO witch, Jenji Kohan, Gus

Van Sant, pilot.

So, I am sick, I'm under tremendous

strength.

"Tremendous strength"? I'm really

sick, so I can't speak.

I keep saying the wrong words at the

minute, and those are words

from the pilot.

Focus.

But I'm going to deal with it, and

I'm going to go and do

a good audition, and I'm dressed

like a witch,

kind of, from the 1600s.

And I hope I get it.

# Wish me luck, my house is a mess,

loads of stupid shit. #

- Kate is not just an artist, she's

an actress,

she's a great combination of

everything.

Um...

I do hope, though, that she gets

back to, you know,

focusing on her record now, because

right now we're

very behind schedule.

There's a lot of pressure on Kate

with this next record. There is.

And she knows it and I know it and

the whole team knows it,

so, I know that she doesn't want to

maintain where she's at,

she wants to build and grow. So,

that's the scary part...

..for all of us. Ah!

- Is it on this street, or is it on

the other street?

Mystery...

Where am I? Where am I?

I do like this drive-through

pharmacy.

I'm picking up.

It's for Kate Nash.

The American Dream.

I need to get back to my career, so

I need to create something

that some label out there wants to

be part of.

- How are you doing?

- So, I'm packing for CMJ, which is

a festival in New York.

It's quite funny, because I have

never played CMJ.

Like, a lot of new bands that want

to get signed go there,

kind of thing, so I think it's quite

funny to, like,

be going to CMJ like I want to get

signed, man.

Alicia?

- Yeah?

You got me a brown one?

- Yeah!

SHE LAUGHS

Or I can have the brown one and you

can have the white one.

See?

- Oh, yeah.

- I'll be nervous before the show,

because I always get nervous

before shows, but I'm glad we're

playing because I really

believe in the show.

I'm just really happy that we have

the opportunity to show off

our live show to the industry.

You know, thinking about signing a

deal,

what's it going to be like to answer

to people again?

Are they going to be trying to fit,

you know, a square into a

circle-shaped hole?

But, like, hopefully, there's a

label out there that,

like, gets me and is enthusiastic

about me and that is really

rooting for me.

CHEERING

I'm Kate Nash. Thank you so much.

# I think about death all the time

# Do you think that's morbid?

# I'm not like the other girls

# Don't get me started

# But I'm try-y-y-y-ying

# I'm not ly-y-y-y-ying

# When you're in my head

# Well, I wish I was someone else

# Mad at me again

# And that's not even what I said

# What's wrong with me?

# Am I a person yet?

# What's wrong with me?

# Wish I could let my brain

# Decide and stop the pain

# I keep heart-shaped glasses close

to me

# For when it rains

# Life in pink

# I wish I could let my brain

# Decide and stop the pain... #

So, nothing happened.

Nothing happened with CMJ.

Nothing came from it.

It was a fucking waste of time, to

be honest with you, for my career.

I just got home.

I was at the airport for, like,

eight hours.

I still have disgusting, like,

glitter in my hair.

I have like a million spots.

My flight was really delayed, it's,

like, six in the morning,

I found out some really bad news.

And, um... I'll talk about that

tomorrow, I suppose.

It's pretty bad, though.

And it's weird.

And it's light outside and it smells

really nice and flowery,

and it's nice to be home, I

just...can't wait to see Stella.

BARKING

Right, tell everyone what's

happening.

- Now, we're dealing with a

situation here today where

Kate's...manager,

former, soon-to-be former manager,

has stolen a large sum of money.

So we're dealing with that this

morning.

It was a long night. We were up

until four in the morning.

We're just going to figure it out,

OK?

OK.

- I spoke to my accountant, he gave

me the records of,

like, my credit card spendage over

the last two months.

And I thought I'd lost the fucking

plot,

because he was, like, you've spent

more on your card

in the last two months than you've

ever spent your whole life,

basically, your entire career that

I've known you.

I looked through all these charges,

and I couldn't recognise a lot of

them, and I found one

that I did recognise, but not

because of me,

it was something in California, a

location in California,

on a date when I was in London.

And, um... It just flagged up in my

mind immediately,

and I checked my manager's

Instagram, and he was tagged,

he tagged himself in that location

on that day.

OK, so, my manager Gary was paying

for his wedding with my credit card.

- You know I've got you covered,

Nash.

- # One fateful night I was driving

around town

# It was late, I was tired and

feeling down

# I like to drive to take my mind

off all the stuff

# That stresses me out and that

keeps me up

# And sometimes when I'm driving I

put two and two together

# I'd read the e-mail earlier that

day, but though, "No, never."

# Surely it couldn't be, surely this

wasn't true

# The person who betrayed me, who

stole it all was you

# I took my life

# And I held it right in front of

him

# To teach him a lesson

# In suffering

# And now he sleeps

# He sleeps with one eye open

# God knows

# Well, God knows I've told him

# I had it out so I could show him

# Now he's sleeping with one eye

open... #

This is, this is insane, this is

mental.

- Right, it's been a rough day here.

It's been a pretty rough day.

- It's not even, like, two o'clock

yet.

- Give us an update.

Why are you on the floor?

- Because I tried to get my manager

to meet me to break up.

And I was freaking out. And he's

sending me a billion texts.

But he's turning it around on me.

He's saying that I've been really

difficult to get hold of.

He presumed I had personal issues.

He's just, like, blaming me, putting

stuff on me,

it's guilty behaviour.

He's flipping out.

And I just want to be, like, "Are

you fucking high?"

JAUNTY ELECTRONIC MUSIC

I'm going to call my accountant

to find out if the money's back in

or not.

I'm OK, how are you?

Fuck.

That's really upsetting.

No, because he's avoiding me now, he

doesn't want to see me today,

he's no time to see me.

OK, well, I'm going to text him now.

You, too, thanks, bye.

It doesn't make any sense, any of

it.

Money just makes people fucking

weird.

I just can't imagine caring about it

that much

that you would need to steal from

someone.

Like, now that my trust has been

taken advantage of so many times,

and something like this, I just

don't know,

I don't know how to move forward.

Without becoming...like, hardened.

And really changing who I am.

This industry sucks, like, so many

people suck.

But I've got enough left in me to

go, well,

fuck it, I'm going to make my own

songs.

Because it's important to, like,

remember that,

like, why you started doing it in

the first place.

- So, what's on, what's been on your

mind,

what do you need to get off your

chest?

- I'm feeling really angry with my

old manager today.

Because I had a business meeting

about my financial situation.

And he, like, stole loads of money

from me.

So there's that.

- Oh, that sucks.

- Yeah.

- Let's see what we can cook up.

So, the first time I met Kate, our

initial conversation

was all about this idea that

songs can be so boring if they

adhere to too many rules.

This idea that a song has a chorus,

a song has a verse,

a song has this and has that.

It very often becomes this thing

where you're ticking boxes.

So, when we were going to write

together, we were going to throw

that out of the window and be, like,

what do we feel should come next?

- I want to be, like, running, and,

like,

dancing, and people to feel like

they're spinning around.

- I feel you.

- I love doing it.

- Just something completely

different.

She came in and was just, like,

furious about the world.

And she wanted to, like, channel

that into a piece of art.

- I want to sing about, like,

everyone telling you what to be and

what you have to do,

and just being, like, I'm going to

break away from that.

- She's got a very strong idea in

terms of what she wants to,

how she wants to sound vocally, and

what she wants to say.

I'm just the midwife.

I'm just helping these things be as

good as they can be.

I just started playing some, like,

monotone, staccato,

almost, like, an annoying kind of

alarm clock.

- I like starting with something

weird like that, like, just one

note.

- Anyway, there were these dramatic

chord structures underneath.

Or hinted at some, like, big drama.

And she'll start writing these raps.

- RAPS: I was running

It was a cold night

I feel breaths are heavy on my

chest, I see it like smoky white

I turn around, to see if I'd lost

them now, a chase...

Oh, wait, I need to start again.

- This frantic spoken-word thing

about self-loathing and self-doubt,

and you just keep going, no matter

what.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- That's nice.

I love this.

- OK, cool.

- I don't know what the fuck it is,

but I love it.

She needed to say this shit, and I

just provided this kind of

soundscape underneath it.

- RAPS: I really squeeze it, I mash

it up so hard inside my hand

I'm almost sure that I killed it, I

check it for a pulse

But I can't remember ABC correctly,

one, two, three

One, two, three, one, two three...

The music industry's brain works

differently to mine,

so things that I think are, like,

normal, are probably really weird.

I think I feel a beat

I really need you still

Come on, I really need you, get

up...

It's just not easy, is it?

Making creative projects isn't

simple, I'm sure everybody

has those struggles with things.

RAPS: Holes and toes and elbows

I shove it up inside me so it knows

Never to scare me like that again

Never to leave, always to stay

Never go away...

- I love being in the room with her.

And I love creating.

I love those moments that we have

when

it's, like, that's amazing.

"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my

God."

- With the cat.

- But I'm not the only one working

on this project.

There's probably, like, 30 of me.

I have no real idea of how many

people at this point

are involved in songs.

There's no sense of direction.

It's taking so much time, we can't

get any commitment on dates.

It's actually super frustrating.

- My brain literally doesn't really

understand the concept of,

like, being on time.

It's something that I try and work

on always, like...

sometimes I'm late because I've

started writing a song,

and sometimes I'll get, like,

wrapped up in doing something

creative and distracting.

It's hard to be thinking

in all these different directions

constantly.

I want to be a musician, I want to

be an artist,

that's what I'm comfortable being.

- Just getting something out there

and getting things moving

is the best thing you could do right

now.

You can get signed to a label and

they could shelve you.

You could put it on the internet.

- Yeah.

- I would love to help Kate create

in the way that she wants

to and to do it her way.

I would need to know what her very

clear vision is.

And what she wants to accomplish.

You know?

I can't create that for her, and

it's her art.

- It's, like, what you were saying,

remember, like, why.

- You're doing this.

- Yeah.

- You can play amazing shows, like,

you do have

all of this following and fans, but

right now, it's stagnant.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Like, you need something that's

going to

bring all that back, you know?

- Yeah, yeah.

- I think that this business, for

lack of a better way

of explaining it, really fucked her

up. You know?

I think she's been put through the

wringer.

It's very easy for her to get

detoured.

And it's a business that you have to

put 110% into.

You know? It's not for the faint of

heart.

- Um...

It's not going that great.

Oh, fuck, it's always sooner than I

think.

So, I'm going to be re-record vocal

with my friend Jeff,

who's really nice.

He is, like, a Grammy-award-winning

mixer.

And he, um...engineered Girl Talk.

And he's going to mix, he's, like,

helping me out for free.

And I need to re-record these vocals

on Life In Pink,

there's one section where I'm kind

of shouting.

And record labels don't like that,

they don't like shouting.

I think it sounds cool, but I'm into

punk music and rock

music, and I need to make a pop

record, because I don't

have any money.

As a woman, you can't even scream on

an album.

But as a man you can talk about

raping bitches and it's fine.

What are we doing right now?

We're broadcasting live.

- The bullshit answer is you're

recording vocal

for the album, and it's because we

want to do something

a little alternate from what we had

previously recorded,

and, so that's what we're doing

right now.

- And now give the real answer.

- The real answer is you selfish

fucks don't pay for music,

so we have to make something more

commercial,

and remove some screams so you cunt

record label executives

will actually give us money to

finish the album, OK?

A little high.

- # When you're in my head

# I wish I was someone else... #

I don't know if I'm going to be able

to sing it.

My voice is so shot right now.

- We're almost there, we're almost

ready to make a record.

- # ..When you're in my head

# Well, I wish I was someone else...

#

They just want, like, "Aaaah".

Not really, but I can't sing how

they want me to sing.

# ..When you're in my head

# Mad at me again... # SINGS FLAT

Wait, whoa!

- You really want to shout it. I

feel that.

- # Mad at me again... #

Fuck, it's like I'm not hitting it

every time I'm recording it.

- Your pitch is fine.

- OK.

- It's just, your voice sounds a

little, like, tired.

- # Well, I wish I was someone else

# Mad at me again

# And that's not even what I said

# What's wrong with me?

# Am I a person yet?

# Am I a person yet? #

- Look at yourself when you're

saying that,

and be, like, what's wrong with me?

- # What's wrong with me?

# Am I a person yet?

# What's wrong with me? #

- Let's try it one more time.

- # What's wrong with me?

# Am I a person yet?

# What's wrong... #

I just text my landlord...

And told him that I have to move

out.

And it's just kind of, like, facing

reality, I guess.

I still haven't been paid back by my

ex-manager,

so I'm going to get a place with,

like, cheaper rent.

I have a bunch of clothes here I can

sell.

It's just about getting resourceful,

becoming resourceful,

and, like, making things happen for

yourself,

and that's kind of, like, what I'm

doing right now.

You know?

It... Does it suck? Yes, but, like,

it's also just, like,

all right, is just the next chapter

of life being,

like, served up.

And it's not that bad.

I'm healthy.

I'm alive. I'm on this planet.

I have a dog.

I have good friends.

I have music.

So, what more do you need than that,

really?

There's a million other people out

there that have it worse than I do,

and I'm just getting on with it, you

know?

Just got to get on with this shit.

Hey!

She has abandonment issues.

She thinks I'm leaving her.

It's OK. It's OK.

I had my first job and I was 14.

I've always worked for, like, what

I've got.

Like, I have my mother's Irish

working-class roots,

and it just feels wrong to be, like,

in debt and not working.

It would be weird to, like, get a

job in a cafe

and be recognised, or something, but

if it came to it,

if I had to get a job in a cafe, or

whatever, like, I would.

- That's going to be 237.40.

- Cool.

- There you are.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Take it easy.

- Bye. Thanks.

I just hate not earning money.

So I am going to a comic book store

because I'm going to work there.

I got a job.

I'm doing a live streaming show, and

I, like, sell products.

Are these anything specific?

- That's Imperial.

- Oh.

- And then this is the Rebel.

The blaster, the R2.

The Storm Trooper. And then the

Obi-Wan sabre ring.

- And then this one?

- That's based on the floor of the

Millennium Falcon.

- Oh, yeah.

Are we all in the right place?

- Mm-hm.

- What do you guys think?

I'm the founder of XSN, the shopping

network for geeks

and millennials, and I'm always

looking for hosts

and cool products to sell.

Shall we start in a different

language?

Can you just start in Elvish?

- In Elvish?!

- Everyone that I've told about Kate

coming in,

everyone's freaking out, especially

my sister, my nieces.

They're like, "Oh, my God, I grew up

on her music."

- That's awesome.

- So it looks like Kate's exploring

these new opportunities.

- Hello, everybody, we're live.

This is Shop XSN.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me just

say

this is a very special moment.

We levelled up.

This is the angelic Kate Nash,

ladies and gentlemen!

- Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so

much.

It's a pleasure to be here.

- Why don't we start with the

Chewbacca guitar pick?

- Oh, yeah.

- Yeah.

- Rock and roll, huh?

- It's a real guitar pick size.

- Real guitar pick size...

..and I'm a rock star, so I can

verify that for you.

- That's right.

- Great.

- Let's get the next one ready.

- Let's do it.

- We have the 4-8C Blaster,

and that one is available in silver

and gold.

- So, come on in now. Valentine's

Day is coming up, everybody...

- I'm really confused about what's

going on in my life right now.

I'm like, "How do I get myself out

of this hole?"

I filed a lawsuit against Gary.

Because that fucker didn't pay

anything back and...

..broke his everything.

Broke his word, so I've filed a

lawsuit.

That's going to be fun.

- What happened with Kate and Gary,

sadly, it happens a lot

in the music business.

We're in a business where the bad

guy definitely succeeds a lot of the

time.

And then the craziest thing is that

even though they could

have the world's worst reputation,

in this business,

there's a large group of people that

find that reputation

to be cool and awesome and badass.

It can be very discouraging.

- Maybe I'll just sleep here on

like...

We'll just sleep on a dog bed.

- Yeah. Well, you could.

- And then bring her in the morning.

- You could.

- I think I'm going to do that.

- OK.

- I like to take a lot of trips

outside of LA,

just to get back to nature.

Coming into nature reminds me why I

like this country

and being alive, really.

It just gives me a bit of

perspective.

I don't know if I'm losing

perspective

because I'm so stressed out.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful for

all the things

that I do have, but I've been

putting things out of me

constantly for two years with no

return,

and I'm not doing my job, which is

such a huge part

of my life.

That also has been shitty because

then I'm like,

"Oh, what else do I do?"

I don't know how to make...

I don't know like...

SHE SIGHS I don't know.

SHE SNIFFS

I feel like I don't know how to,

like...

..be a real person, or something.

I don't know how to make money

outside of being on tour

or making a record.

I just think I need to go to

England.

I don't know. I just need to go

home.

# I was running

# It was a cold night

# I felt breath so heavy on my chest

# I see it smoky white

# I turn around

# To see if I had lost them now

# I chase, I'm run...I'm running

# I'm run...I'm running out of time

# And I feel it faster

# I hear the footsteps catching up

on me

# I bite my lip so hard

# I bite the skin off completely

# I feel the blood about to drip

# I save it with my tongue

# It tastes like metal

# I tell myself

# No matter what happens tonight

# That everything will be OK

# Yeah, everything is going to be

all right

# I'm not sure if believe it... #

London and living here, growing up

here, all the incredible memories

that I have here, the attitude of

the people

and the grim nature of waking up

every day to grey skies.

It's gloomy every day, and just the

way that affects us living

here and growing up here. You know,

that's my roots.

This is where I grew up.

Smile, Dad, you're on candid camera.

Max!

- Oh, am I on that?

- Yeah.

- Oh, bum!

We're both really worried about

Kate.

It is going to be really hard for

Kate to be short of money.

Here, young lady, come and eat this.

- Stew.

- It is a stew.

- An Irish stew.

- You're an Irish woman and there's

absolutely nothing wrong

with an Irish stew, let me tell you.

Eat it while it's hot or it'll be

horrible.

She went from living at home where

all her bills were paid,

to people working for you and with

you.

When Kate first got signed by

Universal and just seemed

to have so much money, I wish that

she'd almost had a few years

in a flat where she had bills to

worry about and things to pay,

and wondered how the toilet roll

suddenly was under the sink at home,

and it didn't happen that way in her

flat,

and things like that.

Just learnt to live.

She never had that.

- Hi!

- She doesn't like to talk about

money with us.

She never has done.

She's always been a little bit

uncomfortable with it.

She's never been totally at ease

with earning lots of money.

She gave money away.

She started her...

It was supposed to be a tax break, I

think.

It was called Have 10p.

It certainly wasn't 10p that people

were getting.

It was considerable sums of money,

really.

And she got very involved with other

charities and things.

She visited schools, teaching girls

about music.

- What are you interested in?

- I sing a lot.

- You sing?

- Yeah.

- OK, one, two, three, four.

- One, two, three, four.

- It was her way of giving back a

bit to people who she felt hadn't

been as lucky as she was.

- There's such a big gender gap in

the music industry.

We really need to do something about

it,

and all of us here need to change

that.

I don't know if you already have

instruments.

If you don't, we can get those

provided

and brought into the schools.

We brought our own instruments.

That's probably part of my mistake.

I definitely invested in every

project that I did and funded things

myself.

Now I know you don't actually do

that.

You're supposed to get other people

with loads of money

to pay for things.

SHE SINGS SOFTLY

That was so cool. I nearly cried.

- I used to think, when she was

travelling around the world

and coming back exhausted and too

tired to really talk to us

when she did eventually get out of

bed,

that maybe I wish she was a teacher

in Ruislip and teaching little ones

about music and poetry and art, and

all the nice things in life.

- And I realised that the best way

to get over a lot of my issues

was to just write music and go and

rehearse on my own

and stuff, you know?

And get it all out of your system.

All this stuff!

Oh, wow, look. Old scrapbook.

This has got so much shit in it.

First-ever tour passes.

Made Of Bricks tour, '07/'08.

I don't miss myself being a star in

the way I used to be

because I don't think I've ever

really seen myself that way.

And I also was very uncomfortable

with that.

I didn't like going to awards

ceremonies.

Let's take a look at the shortlist.

It didn't make me happy and it's not

something

I'm attracted to, really.

And the winner is...

..Kate Nash.

It's really weird how quickly life

gets really different, isn't it?

It feels like a lifetime ago now.

Mind your head. When you look back

in life,

there's moments where the universe

really does kind of swing you a

certain way.

When I was younger, I was very set

on going to drama school.

"That's my path and I'm going to be

an actor."

OPERA MUSIC PLAYS

I got rejected from all of them.

If I had have gone to a drama school

or university,

the fact is I wouldn't be a musician

now.

I wouldn't have the career that I've

had.

But acting is still another dream of

mine.

I heard about this audition and I

was like,

"Oh, God, I have to addition for

that."

A Netflix series called Glow,

based on a real group that existed

in the '80s, a league

of female wrestlers called the

Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling.

That's right, ladies, get ready to

be extinct!

I just worked really hard at the

audition.

I created a video that was pretty

special and strange.

Fact. I'm about to drop 32 volumes

of pain on you!

Argh!

So I've sent my audition tape to

Glow.

There's nothing left to do now

except wait and see.

This is old Reading.

This is where we used to go all the

time when we were kids

to play in the woods.

I wanted to take the dogs to the

woods because that's what we always

used to do,

and these are my grandad's boots, so

I'm looking cool.

Look at the frozen moss.

Now I feel calm and rooted.

Coming home, it's funny how

immediately I feel grounded,

I feel better, I feel safer, I feel

more myself.

Now I'm going out into the big, bad

world and scared of putting on

the brave face that I've put on

every day for ten years doing this.

And I actually want to get to a

point in my life

where I'm settled and calm like I am

when I'm at home.

Saying goodbye.

I'm not really sure about how I feel

about returning to LA.

I do have to face my manager in

court there, so I'm going back.

- You don't have time for that now.

- But look...

- Come on, you're going to be late.

Kate!

Shift your ass, you're going to be

late.

- How many times have you said that

to me in my life?

- 10 million.

- THEY LAUGH

Thanks for taking me to the airport,

Mum.

Are you going to miss me?

- Nah.

Of course I'm going to miss you.

- What is your advice to me as a

woman in the world today?

- To be able to look in the mirror

and look yourself in the eye

and know you haven't done anything

that you, personally,

would be ashamed of.

And I think that's not a bad code to

live by.

We all do things that we regret,

but, yeah, to be able to look

yourself in the mirror and think,

"Yeah... I did the best I could."

Does that sound like a piece of

advice?

- Yeah. OK.

I just need the air conditioning to

work.

I can't last in this fucking town

without aircon.

This is fucked up.

It's November right now and look at

my outfit.

Look at my hat, look at my

sunglasses.

Are you going to ask me questions?

- For this one, you're just going to

talk about what happened.

- OK.

So, I went to court with my

ex-manager.

I decided that I was going to look

him in the eye when he came

down the corridor, and he couldn't

look at me.

Wow, you can use my credit card to

pay for your wedding,

but you just can't look me in the

eye after doing it?

My lawyer said, "OK, it's kind of

getting to the point

"where we think we're going to be

closing

"and it's looking really good."

And then Gary decided that he wanted

me to sign a piece of paper

that said I could never talk about

this.

And it's funny how these things

sound really official,

but in reality, it literally...

I was given a scrap of paper, with a

line written

in pencil by his lawyer, of what the

term was.

It's just a scrap of paper that

would completely change my life

if I agreed to it.

And the lawyer said to me, "This is

where everything could fall apart."

I just remember sitting on the bench

and taking a moment to myself

to think about everything that's

happened in the past few years

and what I believe in.

I thought about all the moving that

I've done and craziness

with money and thought about not

being able to have Stella

and how am I going to have a career

and what am I going to do?

But my freedom of speech is, like,

fucking priceless.

So, even if it meant giving up the

chance to get the money back,

I would never sign that piece of

paper, ever,

because it's just not worth giving

up my voice.

So, I just said no.

And then I just did a spell,

basically.

I was looking up and I just thought

about my vagina

and called on all the goddesses.

I was like, "I'm just going to

fucking do this spell

"and I want to win this fucking

court case."

And then, all of a sudden, my lawyer

came out and they said

"He's signing it on your terms."

He has to pay me back.

That was it. It was kind of weird,

actually.

It just has been such an

excruciating process,

and then all of a sudden, it was

just done.

# Sweet dreams

# My darling

# Sweet dreams

# Are you dreaming of me? #

So I got Glow, which is amazing...

..and quite surreal.

But I'm going to start training

immediately,

and then I'm going to be shooting a

TV series,

which is quite crazy.

Oh, my God, I got the part!

I got Glow!

This role that I've got is, like, so

special.

It's my dream job that I never knew

was my dream job.

To go to work with 14 women on a TV

show every day is so rare.

We trained with Chavo Guerrero,

who's a legendary wrestler

from a family of wrestlers.

I've just had a new physical

relationship with my body.

I'm stronger than ever in a physical

sense, as well as mentally.

Doing that with all these women was

just so emotional too.

It's fucking amazing to have a job,

to get paid every week and be like,

"Oh, my God, I have a job!"

Stella, come on.

Yeah?

Come on. We've got to go.

I'm actually really grateful for the

experience of having all my money

spent by someone else because it's

just taught me...

Like, when I moved to LA, it's the

first time in my whole life

when I ever said...

I said it out loud, I remember being

like,

"I want to make as much money as

possible.

"I'm going to try and make as much

money as possible."

I told the universe what I wanted

and the universe was like,

"No, that is not what you're

supposed

"to fucking be here for and that's

not

"what you're supposed to care

about."

That's not why I make art and that's

not why I make music,

and for me to suddenly care about

that, I think, was dangerous.

I'm going to release the fourth

album this summer

and I want to do it through

Kickstarter.

So, in your opinion, what is it

about Kickstarter

that sets it apart?

- Kickstarter is not taking any

ownership.

Artists are the major currency,

even though they're the ones that

are the least compensated.

- Yeah.

- And there are fans who are willing

to pay a bit more to have a deeper

connection and for you to do your

art.

- Hi, I'm Kate Nash, and I want my

fans to be my record label.

"Congratulations. Your project is

live on Kickstarter."

Look, she's so excited, she's going

to kill me!

The more money I raise on my

Kickstarter, the more I can do.

The ideal scenario is that we make

way more than the original target.

So, this is the first piece of vinyl

I've released in four years.

We're releasing Agenda early to the

backers right now.

I did kind of feel like a teenager

doing Kickstarter because I just

lived in my parents' house and

stayed up every night really late.

You're on the internet constantly.

Even then, you might not get all the

money that you want.

Figuring out how to make money from

music is a challenge

these days because people want to

listen to music for free.

This might be the one.

But at the same time, I do think

there has to be a little bit

more of an understanding that if you

do want artists

to have a career then you do have to

pay them money

because otherwise, I just have to

get another job

and then I can't make art on the

level that I want.

Linda, how long has it been since me

and you

have been on a little radio trip?

- A long, long time, mate.

- I'm in the middle of a Kickstarter

campaign right now.

You can go and pre-order my fourth

album.

Please do it.

It makes sense because I started my

career on MySpace.

So it was just kids ruling

everything, which was so cool.

When I got dropped, it's the reason

that I'm still able

to be here because if I hadn't had

access,

like direct access, to my fans, I

would have been really lost.

We have 54 hours of Kickstarter

left, probably 53 now.

My arms are cramped up because of

too much social media.

It hurts.

I feel like I've had 20,000 cups of

coffee and I haven't had one.

We've completed all our tasks for

the day.

Painted another guitar.

We've doubled our target. We're at

140, but we want 150.

It's really hard to explain to

people that putting out a record

costs 150 grand.

That seems crazy.

But if you have a 12-track album

and you're paying a producer three

grand a track,

and then you have to pay for mixing

for each track

and mastering for each track

and then you have to pay for radio

and PR promotion,

it can cost three grand a track for

radio promotion...

That's a lot of money adding up.

- Somebody wants to know where you

got your tiara.

- I don't know. It's so cheap,

though. It's like plastic.

It's probably from a party shop.

Do you want to know where I got my

acne?

From stress.

Mum.

- What?

- Tell people why they should pledge

for my album in the last 13 minutes.

- Because she's, well, my daughter.

I love her.

I think she's brilliant,

and I think you should pledge right

now!

- Yeah!

How long left now?

- Five minutes!

- Argh!

- Three minutes.

- Oh, my God, even I'm getting

stressed.

- Oh, my God, it's the final

countdown.

- ALL: Five, four, three, two, one!

THEY SCREAM

- Can we do another one now?

- CROWD CHANTS:

- Kate Nash! Kate Nash! Kate Nash!

- CHEERS

I appreciate all of you so much.

You're literally the reason that I'm

able to continue to do music.

I'm so grateful.

I love doing this.

I'm like sitting there and I can't

believe it's my job.

I always say, music isn't fluffy,

it's life or death.

This is fucking life or death.

You know it because it's saved you

before. It saved me.

And that's fucking amazing. That

really is important.

This is a brand-new song, it's

unreleased.

It's called Call Me.

It was such a relief to hit our

target

and now it's kind of crazy to think

I'm going to be able

to put this album out and move on

from it.

# So if there's anything that I can

do for you

# Well, honey, pick up the phone

# You can call me, baby... #

My fans were as open and as exposed

and vulnerable

as I feel like I've been

and I feel like people have told me

that I am

and I thought it was a flaw.

# You can call me, baby... #

I just wanted to cry playing it

because I was so happy

that that's who I am.

I was like, "This is why I'm this

fucking open person."

I have these fans. They're giving to

me what I've given

and I'm receiving it, and I'm

receiving all this love.

I'm glad I'm that person and I'm

glad I've been vulnerable,

and I'm glad I put that into my

music.

It's a really beautiful thing.

OK, we're going to split.

Split you into two.

We're going to do some audience

participation for this one

if you're up for it. Are you up for

it, London?!

CHEERS

OK, good. So this half, just kind of

split.

# You're the one with the sun

# Feel the power and lift me up... #

Louder!

# You're the one with the sun

# Feel the power and lift me up

# You're the one with the sun

# Feel the power and lift me up

# You're the one with the sun

# Feel the power and lift me up... #

This whole experience has been,

ultimately, very valuable

to me in ways I didn't expect.

That's it.

That's the end of the movie.

# My head is underwater

# And I can't see the light

# I guess you overstepped it

# So go and hold me down and flush

# Because, darling, I am in a rush

# And I can hold my breath

# Let's not forget

# God knows I've had enough

# If you check I'm a diamond in the

rough

# If you knew me

# They know what I'm made of... #

If in two lines she can explain,

"I'm denying my heart for him."

# And I call your bluff

# Call me crazy, I'm velvet... #

THEY SHOUT

ALL:

- Season two! Season two!

- # What am I What am I

# What am I made of? #

- I couldn't do the tour because I

broke my mouth.

Who breaks their fucking mouth?

I do.

But guess what?

I'm back!

- # Forgive me for my sins

# God knows I've had enough... #

I can't believe it's actually

happened,

People have already listened to it

twice.

- Impossible...

- This bunny just wished me

congratulations.

- Aw.

- It is kind of impossible.

- It just came out, like two minutes

ago.

- Well, maybe they just have it on

repeat and they're like...

I don't know how they're fucking

doing it.

Don't shoot the messenger!

It's all popping off. We're doing

promo, we're doing rehearsals.

We've got 57 tracks that don't work.

We're going to get a U-Haul.

We're moving rehearsal space because

we've been in a shit hole.

- Things are looking up.

- Classic Nash over here.