Kamikaze (1986) - full transcript

Did you see that?

It's working!

What brings you here,
my good man?

It's for you... The direction...

There's a cutback.

But I'm alone in this department.

I have to deliver
it to you in person.

It's done!

I got it in person.

Are you satisfied?

Get out of here before
I take the top of your head off!



Off with you!

Get lost!

One day, I'll be the
one who fires you!

And it's gonna make
a lot of noise!

Hi, uncle.

Has anyone seen the bottle opener ?
- I threw it.

Lunch's ready!

What is it?

Boiled beef?

You're not hungry
or you're not in a mood?

What's the luggage
in the entrance for?

Holidays!

We're leaving tomorrow morning.

You look surprised.



Did you forget about it?

Yes.

And you, when are you
taking some holidays?

I already have.

I was fired.

What've you done?

Chatting with my friends,
keeping them from studying

and always nagging the girls.

Anyway, I decided
not to work again.

And not to eat either.

Happy holidays.

Maybe you should
phone his job.

No. I'll phone no-one.
He can do what he wants.

He always did, and that's
always exasperated everybody.

"Do you know Mandrin? Everybody's
heard of this righter of wrongs,

- who stole the riches to give to the paupers..."
- It's not Mandrin, it's Karl Marx, silly!

"...We'll learn that this legendary
character left numerous corpses

behind him and could be very cruel.
A fascinating character, anyway..."

Bastards!... Son of a bitch!...

It's despicable to do that!

Is there somebody playing
hide-and-seek at the back?...

I know where they are...
I know where they are...

Damn it!

You turn me on...

Did you have a nice trip, girls?

Can you close
the gate, please?

Take care of the birdies.

It was long!

Hello, my uncle. It was hell.

You don't know what hell is!

"Please excuse us for this momentary
break from our broadcasting."

I was in the control room
when it happened.

She fell down all of a sudden,

with her guts out of her body, as if...

In brief, her belly exploded.

Thank you.

Ask the ballistics squad
to come have a look.

And I want to know
everything about this announcer.

- Did you tell her family?
- I sent a telegram of condolence.

You're in charge of the investigation?

And you, who are you?

Mrs Laure Frontenac, communication's
secretary of state. Mr ...?

Pleased to meet you.

What have you heard?

Was it your machine
that made the sound?

No, I remember...

I heard this when she fell down...

The primary report from the coroner.

No projectile has been found.

How's that?

Let's go to the mortuary.

I want a detailed report, tonight.

I'll be at my office.

At your orders.

What number?

2.

Did she kill herself or
with the help of somebody?

I've been doing autopsies for ten
years and I've never seen this.

- How can you explain it?
- Ask my son.

All I know is...

she has a hole in her belly.

I'm glad you're here, I wouldn't
have noticed it without you!

What kind of a hole?

No gunpowder, no acid,
no trace of anything.

What do I write in my report?
Natural death?

It would look fishy.

Has anyone
figured out anything?

Stop typing, would you?

We could maybe take the
cameras to pieces.

Take the cameras to pieces?

Sold! You take care of it.

I've got to report
to Mrs Something.

- So long, boys.
- Bye.

Come in, it's open.

What does it say in brief?
- Not much.

I need an explanation for tomorrow.
The entire media is after me.

Natural death.

Are you kidding?

She could've been attacked by a
bunch of Martians on holiday.

Is that one okay for you?

Well...

How about having a drink?

That sounds like
the thing to do.

Yes, it's tasty.

I'll tell him to come down, otherwise
he's going to say it's cold again.

What do you want?

- We're having lunch.
- Go ahead, I'm coming.

Anyway, I'm sure it's already cold.

What kind of wine is that?

- It's a Bordeaux 1976.
- "...We begin the TV news with a

terrible accident that took the life
of our colleague, Huguette Tranchet.

Once again, the direction and staff
of our channel wish to express our

sympathy to the family of the victim.
According to the communications secretary

of state, the death was caused
by an unexplained natural cause."

It can't be a natural death.

I saw it. I was watching TV.
Can you hear me, you fool?

It's not a natural death! Say it!
Do your job! Why are they lying?

- But uncle, I thought you hate announcers.
- That's true.

You always said she had a ugly face.
It's settled, she's gone!

Precisely, they have to say it!
How she died.

It's because they know nothing
they have to talk nonsense!

I can't believe that!

And I'm not hungry.
The meat is overcooked, L?a.

Way overcooked. This kind
of meat must be eaten rare.

- Are you sulking?
- I'm worried for your uncle.

- As long as he doesn't bite...
- If he keeps on acting like this,

I'm the one who'll bite.

I'll meet you downstairs
in five minutes.

The channel's CEO is waiting for you.
Frontenac is also there, with two ministers.

But before you meet them, it would be nice
if you could say a word to the journalists

- and announcers. They're in panic.
- What can I say?

That their job is now more
dangerous than ours?

- Mr Romain Pascot...
- Yes, I know!

Mr Pascot, this situation is intolerable.

And I won't tolerate any laxity.

- Can you explain to me what's so funny?
- Nothing. Just the word "laxity".

By the way, who's in charge
of the investigation?

- Mrs Frontenac told me..
- Yes... I thought this gentleman

was in charge. He was
there when I arrived.

I'm here just because it's in my zone.
Now if you want me to be in charge...

I'm aware that Mrs Frontenac
seems to trust you...

The case is yours... For now.

But be careful, no mistakes.

All information given to the press
must be approved by Mrs Frontenac,

- and by myself... Is that clear?
- Very clear, minister.

I bet it's like yesterday. A big hole, guts
everywhere and no projectile found.

- Did you take the cameras to pieces?
- Yes. But we didn't find anything.

Here's the recording.

Let's eat first, because after I'll
probably not feel like it.

Call Iceberg and tell him to
deal with the ballistic squad.

They have to calculate the
trajectory and the projectile's speed.

- But there's no projectile.
- I know.

But I want Iceberg to
pretend there's one.

I want to know from where he fired.
From the top, from the bottom, from behind?...

If we don't know with what he's firing,
we still want to know from where he's doing it.

I'm picking Julie up at the train station.
I'll meet you at the office.

I can count on you, right?

You won't see well
by the keyhole!

I knocked... I was about
to slip that under the door.

Yes, of course...
So you're spying on me?

You want to search the uncle's room.
And me, do I search your bedroom?

- But I swear I...
- You want to know what's inside

this locked room, right?

Do you want to see it?

Then you just have to ask!

End of the visit.

Hey, my sweet, you look
better than when you left.

I have a surprise for you!

Daddy, you really suck!

Yes, but Mrs Louise has
been sick for two days...

She can't do miracles by working
only two hours a week, anyway.

All my clothes are dirty. How
can I go to school tomorrow?

- And what's this button for?
- This, Miss, is to set the washing programme up...

Daddy?

Do you give credit?

Are you out of your mind?

I thought about something...
Excuse me.

Thank you.

- Oh, you're back?
- I have to go. I'll explain to you later.

You choose the washing machine
you want. You ask it to be

delivered tomorrow and
say I'll pay by cheque.

- You're not upset, aren't you?
- It won't be my fault

if I don't choose the right one.
- Of course not.

Play it again in slow-motion.
As slow as possible.

Did you see the blue lightning?

Play it again.

Slowly... Stop.

Ziggy, play the other
tape at the same speed.

Quickly!

Did you see? There's a blue
lightning before, each time.

Sure there's a blue lightning!

But it doesn't help us much.

Hello, everybody.

What's new?

Listen... I did what you
asked me to. But it's not easy

to calculate a projectile's trajectory
when there's no projectile!

Anyway... On first look... According
to the way the organs exploded,

we could suppose it's coming
from straight in front of them.

So if we pretend there's a projectile,
it's coming straight into their body.

But it doesn't tell us
what the projectile is.

Don't worry... We're
going to figure that out.

Play it again.

- You're up early.
- I think I know how the killer's doing it.

It's supposed to
be murders, then?

- So, how's he doing it?
- He fires through the TV .

Of course, why didn't I think
about that! He fires through the TV!

No projectile,
the victims had no enemies,

there's no phone demands, everything
the victims ate before has been tested.

Nothing found.

All we know is
the energy source that kills

the victims comes from
straight in front of them.

Exactly from the
camera's angle.

And there's something else.

I have a hunch...

Last night, I saw a kid shooting
at a TV set with a plastic gun.

Each time he fired at the screen,
an Indian fell from his horse.

Listen, sheriff...
Excuse me, my nerves...

Your western story
is a bit hard to buy.

Do you have any other ideas?

It's not more implausible than the
theory of the natural death, after all.

But it's far more frightening.

- It would mean that...
- The killer is somewhere in France,

happily in front of his TV set.
And there's 55 million suspects.

Give me full permission
to check out my theory.

I have to speak to the minister.
I can't take this kind of decisions on my own.

I'll let you know.

- I hope you're wrong.
- Me too.

"It's 8 a.m, I went to school. For the washing
machine, I chose the more expensive one.

By the way, I listened to the news,
they said you're in charge

of the dead TV people case, so
please bring me an MTV t-shirt. Love."

- Hello, birdies...
- Hey, do you know what time it is?!

Don't you have a job?
Is Patrick up, at least?

He didn't wake up. It happens...

- Why're you upset like this?
- I'M NOT UPSET!

I just think you're two lazy fellows
and I'm not used to having you

under my feet at his hour...
And I want to keep my routine!

Are you going to get up, Patrick!?

Do you think you're still on holiday!?

A little cheque to start the day!

3450 francs... I thought we
were going to share the bill.

I'll pay you later.

It's alright, there's no hurry.

Are you sure
you want to work?

- Thank you.
- Can I show you the way back?

For the price this machine costs,
it could be quieter.

Silence is so nice!

- Steak or brioche?
- Steak.

So, you saw him?

I was sure he wouldn't understand.

And I'd be taken off the case.

Well... I've been glad to meet you.

I'll bet it was bad news.
Was it Olive?

No. You're going to be disappointed:
you won't have your t-shirt.

I'm discharged from the case.
- How lousy!

On the contrary, it's not bad. I'd been
a lousy father last night.

Now I can redeem myself.

So get dressed, I'll take you
to eat anyplace you want. okay?

You're great, daddy.

You cunt...

Such a cunt...

Who's asking him?

Boss, the communications girl.

- Frontenac?
- Yes, that's her.

Bring the phone.

Hello, Mrs Frontenac.
How nice of you to call!

A new murder?
What a surprise!

On channel 2?
It's nice to have a change!

Stop fooling around. They'll
probably put you back on the case.

I have to see you now.
I'm waiting for you there.

I'm not on this case anymore until
I get a written notice on my desk.

So if you want to see me,
send me a summons or

come to my office. I'm there
from 10 to 12 and 2 to 7.

- I've been a bit rude, haven't I?
- With the chick

- or with the administration?
- You're a smart one, right?

- I think about your future, boss.
- You'd better think about your own future.

Minister... I'd like to
have a word with you.

I need a beer.

Hi. Any messages?

Your work order.
Signed by the minister.

You're the only one in charge.

You have full permission. Your extra
expenses will be paid by my department.

I'm sorry for before, but
you have to understand me:

they give me the case,
then take it back from me...

I only ask you one thing:
if this bastard does exist, find him.

Herv?, check all this out.

- Mr Pascot, I'm the channel CEO, and I...
- For the moment, this studio

is under my staff's responsibility. Guy, call
all the news editors and channel CEOs.

- Mr Pascot...
- It's all right...

- Superintendent...
- Quiet now!

- Olive...
- Yes.

Get me all the information about
the last murder. Blood and urine tests...

everything you can get.
- OK.

And make me a list of all the
known hackers, even the kids.

Good evening,
I'm superintendent Pascot.

The TV studios are
under police supervision.

This is now a state matter and
I'm in charge of it for the moment.

You will put a recorder in each
control room, it is going to record

the direct broadcasts and play
them on air with a two second delay.

And can we know
what the point of all this is?

I have no explanation to give you.
It's 11 pm now, just do it.

From tomorrow morning, I don't want
anyone to speak on air on any channel.

There will be no more murders on TV.

Goodbye.

Olive.
- Yes.

Summon all the people on that list.

- For when?
- As soon as possible. Ask them

to come with their luggage,
they're going to stay for a few days.

Warren Trevor, Dr Tchaikowsky...
who are these people?

- Some big shots.
- Is that so?

Because some of them have
really complicated names...

Hoodenbach, Stevinson...
I won't find that in the phone book!

Say... Why don't we ask
Mrs Solange to come?

- Who's that?
- A fortune-teller.

She's a big shot. Even
Reagan consults her.

Sold.

Dear Madam, the brightest
one is thanking you.

Do you know Pascot,
from the homicide squad?

- I've heard of him.
- I want you to watch him.

If his theory is correct and he can arrest
a suspect, I want to know it that very minute.

Who knows about this... mission?
- You and my chief of cabinet.

- What about Frontenac?
- No.

- Be discreet.
- You can count on me.

- Recorder to control room, we're ready.
- We can start, now.

Go ahead, send your text.

You apply this system in
all your control rooms, OK?

We're dealing with
the other channels.

- Do I put the siren?
- Yes, and fasten your seat belt.

Damn it, quickly! The others
did it in 15 seconds!

It's not my fault if the
connections are screwed-up!

You should already
be happy we're here.

- That's not my shift.
- Come on, quickly!

No need to make a mountain
out of a molehill... It's fixed.

Control room to recorder.
Do you get the final picture?

Negative. Still nothing.

Jesus! What're you waiting for?

Nobody's going to miss you.

You have ten seconds!

Bastards! Bunch of assholes!

Thank you, sir. Please
follow the young lady.

I'm sent by the
department to help you out.

It's most welcome!
Just follow the chick!

- Keep your eyes open.
- Yes, don't worry.

- How are you?
- Fine.

Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.

We're thanking you for
answering to our call.

We have a situation.

A series of identical murders
that occurred on direct television.

Three murders to date.

We have them recorded.

The shallow clues we've got...

make us think that
someone, in his home...

has created a system...

that allows him to kill...

by firing on the TV screen.
You're the greatest specialists

in physiology, psychology, electronics...

The first question is...

to know if this theory is possible?

The second is...

how to locate the murderer?

That's it... Any questions?

How much time do we have?

Three days.

- Please, sir...
- Yes.

I'd like to know if you
could install a coffee machine?

No problem.

You can stop the live broadcasting
but you won't stop me that easily.

It's a magneto generator.

It's like a big magnet.

[Serial killings]

You'll see, sugar, I'm going
to impress you again.

It's disconnected again.
Did you put the set camera on?

I didn't touch anything.

What's that shit?

Call the nodal.

Control room to nodal.

What did they say?

They don't know.
It's not coming from them.

Did you see that? The
camera turned on by itself.

Broadcasting to control room. What do
you have on screen? Switch quickly.

What's that nonsense?

Superintendent Pascot.

You told me there'll be no more
murders. Not only are there more anyway,

but you're spending a lot of money
on top of that! And you've

made a mess of all the channels!

Therefore, I discharge you.

Good idea. And who's going
to be in charge, then?

Philippe Bouvard or Jacques Martin?
(French TV comics)

Dr Samrat, physicist, Dr Trevor, from
Cambridge, communications specialist.

Mr... - Dr Heckman, from
Stockholm spatial research center.

Can we have five minutes
of your time, minister?

First question: can someone, from
his home, and through the waves

kill announcers who're
speaking live on TV?

The answer is yes.

Second question: the
person we're dealing with

has substituted the Hertzian network
for a highly concentrated

microwave network... This network
comes through the TV camera

and blows, from the inside,
the guts of the victim?

At this point, the best thing
to do is to show you directly.

We've recreated a biological
replica of the human body.

It has the same density and the
same acoustic impedance... Look.

Is that clear enough, minister?

- Can you determine from where he's firing?
- It's very difficult.

The only moment we can locate
him is precisely when he's firing.

The signal he produces goes
from his TV set to the TV camera.

If at this moment, we could manage
to send an equal ultrasound wave,

it would ride back to
the murderer's receiver.

It would probably destroy his
system and, hopefully, him himself.

So we'll have to fire at
the same time as him?

To be perfectly accurate, we'd have to
fire a fraction of second before him.

Therefore, we'd have to know the
moment he'd fire, or make him fire

at a moment determined by us.
I'll let Dr. Trevor speak now.

Warren Trevor, psychiatrist.

In these 300 pages, we've tried
to re-enact an identikit of the killer.

One of the information we now have
about him seems to be very interesting.

There is 69% probability that
this man never turns off his TV set.

Even when
broadcasting is over.

We're going to set up a
computer generated speech,

that'll encourage the murderer to
fire at a determined moment.

What would happen if some other
viewers are watching TV?

We'll broadcast only
between 3:58 and 4:16,

when the audience ratings
are at their lower point: 0,3%.

Excuse-me, but it's 0,03%.

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen.
We can be ready in 24 hours

but in view of the risks, the decision
must be taken by you, minister.

I'm afraid we don't have a better option.

I accept your decision.

Thank you, gentlemen.

- Who's going to read the speech?
- The computer will decide that.

Goodbye, superintendent.

Are you coming with me or
shall I give you the address?

- Excuse-me?
- You don't seem to phone

your daughter often.

How do you know, Julie?

I called you at home at noon, a lovable
kid answered and I invited her

for dinner. With or without you,
she'll be at my home at 8 pm.

- But it's 9:30 already.
- Precisely, hurry up.

See?

She's part of the 0,03%.

- Excuse-me?
- Do you like salmon?

I'm not very found of it, actually.

Are you waiting for somebody?
- No.

- Do you always have Champagne
ready in your kitchen? - No.

Not always.

- Do you want to get me drunk?
- Why not?

- Is it good?
- Frankly, not so much.

You could try to be gallant. It's the first time
I've made pasta for a superintendent.

- What do you usually cook?
- Salmon.

Sure, but I don't like salmon.

There's a fire on the TV set. I'm sure
that's our man. I don't know how he did it,

- but he managed to set a fire.
- Any wounded people?

Yes, three. We have to do our
broadcasting tonight. Tonight!

This guy is really too smart! We don't know
what he could come up with by tomorrow.

We have to do it tonight!

I don't give a shit!
They have to sort it out!

Wait for us.

I asked them to connect the computers.
The speech will be ready in half an hour.

I'll get this bastard.

I'll wear them down. They don't know
where I am but I know where they are.

I already had a leg up, but
one day I'll get rid of all of them!

The meat is overcooked
in this house...

You're the best looking
of them all, my uncle!

Have a drink...

- You'll be home late?
- Probably. Don't worry.

We won't have the time for a
double check with the computer.

Never mind.

There's a backward meter here and
another one above camera 1.

When the meter points to zero,
the announcer will move aside

and we'll fire at the camera lens.

That's a teleprompter. It gives the
announcer the text he has to deliver.

Now, what text and
who's going to say it?

The text is coming.

And I'm the announcer.

Mr Pascot, it's out of the
question that you're doing it.

- You don't fit the profile at all.
- According to the computer,

the speech must be delivered by
a measured and sensitive person

able to both touch and
interest the subject.

In brief, we need a woman.

The computer already picked one.

It can be only you, Mrs.

You'll have one second after we
fire to switch on this camera,

fitted with the ultrasound system.

- Is that clear?
- What do I do if that lunatic

- fires too early or too late?
- He's going to fire at the predicted time.

The one who woke me up...

is going to feel sorry.

47, 46, 45...

39, 38, 37...

We'll be on air in 30 seconds.

Don't shoot... Don't shoot.

I know you can kill me if you want to,
but please listen to me for five minutes,

after that you can do what you want.

You're a remarkable scientist,
a mastermind inventor, but nobody

probably ever understood
your work and supported you.

But you've convinced me...

We needed several of the

greatest worldwide scientists
to understand what you've created

on your own. They've asked me to tell
you how they admire yo...

Everybody has agreed to say you're
one the greatest minds of our time.

That's why I don't
understand your behaviour...

If society hurt you so badly...

Then you should fire at me
because tonight I represent society.

If it's not vengeance but only a power
demonstration, then it's ridiculous.

- Please, my uncle, stop this!
- Shut up!

I have some unfinished business.

...I'd like to meet you...

Albert, it's no use!

- Listen to me!
- Stop it! I can't hear what she said!

For once someone is
talking to me! Only to me.

My uncle, I'm here and
I love you, don't do it...

- Albert!
- Are you going to shut your fucking mouth!

L?a? What's going on?

It's him who kills the people on TV!

I beg of you, open the door...

...I think a man like
you deserves respect...

-...your cynical and gratuitous behaviour...
- Shut up, now... Shut up.

I'm only asking you to let me help you.
Don't miss the chance to get out

of this with dignity. Your genius
is spoiled by your actions.

What a waste! How can you
tolerate such a miserable end,

with the talent you have?

You must control this madness inside
you. You're a scientist, not a kamikaze,

- and the worst is...
- You're wrong, I am a kamikaze.

...because it's turning against you...

You're as dumb as the others! As
soon as you enter in this picture box,

you all become ridiculous.

...you're doing evil right now because
you feel lonely. You'll stay lonely forever.

You better talk to my hand...

But, maybe you won't listen to me,
maybe you're just one more lunatic...

who's going to kill me, now.
Because it's rising inside you and

you can't control yourself...

Can you see me?

Or is the sun keeping
you from seeing?

Do you think you're God?

Have you been touched
by the divine grace?

Do you think you can
dispose of people's life?

Say... If you know everything,
do you know how many thousands

of years it took before you stopped
eating with your fingers, asshole?!

Asshole!

We're going to do just
like in the old movies...

I'm going to be as dumb as you.

The one who kills first wins.

That's the point, isn't it?

If it's you, nobody's
going to know it was you...

Until the day someone
else would like to know...

Go ahead, shoot!

Shoot! Kill me!

Jesus Christ, shoot!

It's easy, isn't it?

You're hiding in your
place, like a big worm...

Look at this mess! Bastard!

Kamikaze... But no hara-kiri!

Between 3:40 and 4:20, there has been
847 electric over-consumption points.

- It's above average.
- We analyzed the blast wave,

and considering its spreading speed and
its response time, the centre of emission

can't be over 50 kms from here.

Well... Draw a 50-km
circle around Paris.

- Is Meaux 50 kms of Paris ?
- Pretty much.

- There's at least 150 left.
- His place has been damaged for sure...

Short circuit, fire,
wounded people, anything...

Guy, get me all the police reports
about incidents between 3 and 5 a.m.

For all areas.

When you get the reports, you connect
them with the points on the map.

We'll see how many are left.

It's going to take forever!

What do you think?

That's not the scientific method but
your instinct is sometimes so... puzzling.

Of course, they were often
arguing, but how could I have imagined...

- Did you know he had a gun?
- Of course not.

You know, they had their life and
I had mine. A man of my age...

I used to stay upstairs. They
were so nice to give me shelter,

I didn't want to disturb them.

- How terrible...
- Cigarette?

- Are you going to be okay?
- Yes, of course.

- Do you need someone?
- It's going to be alright.

I'll go sleep for a moment...

58... It makes 20 each, guys.

Come on, let's go.

Let's go, for Christ's sake!

Olive, you keep the house!

- Can we have breakfast?
- Would be easier to work after.

Okay, sold...
Pelletier, you stay here.

Tell your insurance
to send us the report.

Guy and Herv?, do you hear me?
- Yes, Guy speaking.

Nothing to report, imploded TVs,
a power cut in a butcher shop...

- Any news from Herv??
- No, I spoke to him five minutes ago,

- he's no luckier than me.
- Okay, just carry on.

[Superintendent R. Pascot]

- Hello, is the MTV t-shirt for you?
- Yes, I'll take it.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, thanks a lot.

Olive, can you hear me?

Mercier, telephone for you.

Thanks... Hello.

Do you still have the
hackers list you've done?

- Yes, I have it somewhere.
- Then try to match it

with the 58-point list.

- It's going to take for ever!
- You've got ten minutes!

- Yes?
- Boss, there's about ten places.

Give me the first three
and the rest to Herv? and Guy.

- Okay, where are you?
- West of Paris.

- I don't buy anything, don't waste your time!
- Police, may I come in?

Excuse me, but all these stories
gave my nerves a hard time.

- Are you on your way out?
- Yes... I need some fresh air.

- Here, the atmosphere became heavy.
- He was your nephew?

Yes. It's dreadful... I guess
you need to speak to me...

That's the living room...

It's a mess because
they had a party yesterday.

They drank too
much in my opinion.

All the guests
left at around 3 a.m.

- And you, where were you?
- Me? I was here.

- And also upstairs, in my room.
- When they left, I'm sure I was in bed.

- Did you hear the gunshots from upstairs?
- From my room, yes.

You know I sleep lightly.

What happened?

The storm, I guess...
What do you think?

What do I think? To make a TV
implode, it has to be turned on.

And at 3 a.m., the broadcasts
are long past over.

They probably fell
asleep before turning it off...

It happens to me quite often...

- They fell down from here?
- Yes.

- Why did they go up to have a row?
- I don't know. They maybe started it

downstairs: bing, I slap you, "Take this,
bitch!", "You're going to feel sorry for

that, sucker", she takes her suitcase,
the door slams, "I'm going to kill you",

"My uncle, help me!", she climbs the staircase,
he brutally catches her, she opens

the window to ask for help, and blam,
bang, the window, and... the ground...

What a tragedy!

Yes...

- That's my room.
- You don't have TV?

- No. - I thought you often fall
asleep while watching TV.

During holidays... They once left home for
three months so I took the TV to my room.

- Well. Anything else?
- No. Nothing...

- And what's this? A closet?
- Yes. My closet.

- Can I see?
- Nobody can.

Excuse me?

Then only a quick look.

End of the visit.

What's this?

A bottle opener.

- You're a scientist?
- Yes... Not a kamikaze.

Can I show you the way out?

- Yes?
- Olive.

- Yes, boss?
- I got him. The first address, send a car.

Great! He caught him.

Let's take my car.
I'm just across the street.

Why all this?

They thought I was good for
nothing. I wanted to show them...

I didn't like this company... It's
no fun to get fired, you know?

They told you: "Go away, off with you!",
with my prizes... After 30 years...

- What's the connection with TV?
- There's no connection.

You're the one who needs
to make connections, not me...

All these announcers are so
irritating with their awful smiles...

their bright teeth...

Especially the fat brunette,
with her high-pitched voice!

She was unbearable and ugly...
Don't you think?

Frankly... Just between the two of us.

Yes.

See?!

I was happily on holidays and then I had
to listen to her bullshit for hours and days...

So... I fired her.

How did you think this
little game would end?

Badly...

I've never been
lucky in any games...

Even when I was a kid,
I lost all the time.

I was cheating when playing Monopoly
with my brother, but he always won.

He was maybe a
better cheater than you.

- You cheated, too.
- How's that?

You're not going to pretend that you
found out the system all by yourself?

Some people helped you.

Say it!

How many were you?

About 50.

50! 50!

For a poor old man like me!

Isn't that cheating?

Stay here, kid!
You watch him.

What's the name of the pretty lady
who was in charge of everything?

- Mrs Frontenac.
- Yes...

What's her first name?
- Laure.

Laure...

It's a pretty name, Laure...

Please send her my regards.

Don't move, superintendent!

Reason of state.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

Motherfuckers!

Boss... Your t-shirt.

Translation and timing:
Aquasantajoe

For Cinemageddon
April, 5th 2009