Justice, My Foot! (1992) - full transcript

Out of the way...

Hurry...

Out of the way...

Master Bing,
bringing Ah Choi out feels magnificent.

Of course, it's from America!

Make way...

Out of the way.

I'll kill you.

Ah Choi...

What to do, Master Bing?

Go after him!



Yes!

Well?

Are you all right?

I’m fine.

I am not all right.

What is it, master?

You chased my dog away.

No big deal, I'll pay for it.

Pay for it?

Master Bing, we can’t find the dog.

-Can’t find it?
-Yes.

Out of the way.

Don't say I use my dad,
the governor to bully you.

Lord Hu, come over here.



Yes, Master Bing.

I am asking Lord Hu to adjudicate

so that you will pay me back willingly.

All right, follow me home,

I have seven to eight dogs,
you can pick one you like.

What?

My dad spent over 100 taels on my dog

and he is one of a kind.

I only had him for two years.

For two years and 100 taels.

Then he's worth 200 taels now.

You should compensate at least 200 taels.

What? Even my whole family could not spend

that amount in 10 years.

Lord Hu, Ah Choi has beef for every meal.

It should be at least 300 taels.

300 taels...

No way!

Lawyer Sung is here,

he can resolve this.

Too little. Just think.

Bringing back such a huge dog from America

is not an easy thing,

it would cost a lot.

At least compensate 500 taels.

Excellent, 500 taels it is.

Ah Fuk!

Let go.

Ah Fuk...

How's your ass?

Itchy, painful and has tooth marks.

You chased away my dog.

He bit my ass!

Your dog bit people and you asked
for 500 taels as compensation.

Now Ah Fuk bit your ass...

Ah Choi is a dog!

Chasing away a dog
one needs to pay 500 taels,

to chase away a man would require
1,000 taels.

Ah Choi is a dog bought from America.

I have bought Ah Fuk from France

and he is also one of a kind.

I had him for two years,

so charging you 1,000 taels is reasonable.

What's your view, sir?

You are right!

You...

You're quite astute, sir.

That French mongrel Ah Fuk is back. Well?

That's expected.

Otherwise, how could I ask you
for 1,000 taels,

if he didn't come back?

Even 10,000 taels wouldn't do.

He is stupid.

You are good.

You falsely accused me!

Wow...

Shut up!

Do you want to commit murder?

A good show is on.

Let me introduce you, this is Master Bing.

Greetings.

My wife.

Madam.

Master Bing is so courteous.

Although my wife has saved your life,

you needn't thank us.

You're welcome.

We have to go to visit
our ancestors' graves now.

Magistrate, you know what to do?

Yes.

Please...

You want a thousand taels from him
and he pays you 500.

Oh, remember!

If his Ah Choi were like my Ah Fuk,

coming back all by himself,

get back a couple hundred taels from him.

OK.

Kit, give your brothers a bow.

Sigh! Come to think of it,

12 of our children have died.

Don't bring it up!

You raised the topic first.

It's your fault. Of all things,

you chose to be a shyster.

You sue only for money.

That's so immoral.

You think you don't know

after doing that each time,

you cried really hard.

I am paid to do what I did.

It's fair, when did I ever cry?

You didn't?

No.

Give it up, dear.

If I did, how would you have
this many gold bracelets,

golden necklaces, ear rings and gems.

See? So heavy.

Really.

What's so strange?

At most I'll give them up.

I don't want... one,

I only want my son to be safe and sound.

Sometimes your fate is not in your hands.

It's easy to say: give it up.

Learn to do business! Dear,

Cheung Sam got rich last year,

but Lee Si

hanged himself in the beginning
of the year.

Ever since I got married,
there isn't a woman...

What are both of you quarrelling about?

I'll beat you up.

Go to sleep...

Master, an old sir
has been waiting for you.

You are...

I am a stand-in.

See how good your memory is.

Bullshit, I have used so many servants,

how could I remember so many names?

What a thick one!

My boss is Chan Cheung Fu,

owner of the biggest bank in town.

He wants you to prepare
a legal paper for him.

Here is the deposit.

If you do the job well

and my boss is pleased,

you needn't worry about your livelihood

for the rest of your life.

Ah Fuk.

Yes.

Well? What's your answer?

Why are you handing me the stick?

Great, a blockhead to a block of wood.

No one dares to speak to me like this.

Of course!

Who would speak to a piece of wood?

You...

Come.

Mr. Sung, you are different from others.

You are indeed the best lawyer in town.

You are not sick, are you?

I’m not.

What do you want from me?

It's like this.

My son is good at martial arts.

He fought with someone yesterday

and his opponent was the son of
the smoke shop, Cheung Biu.

He was weak and it didn't take much

to floor him

and he died this morning.

I know his father would go
to the authorities,

that's why
I am soliciting your help to fix it.

My husband has decided to retire.

Here is...

Stop.

Just having a look.

In regard of retiring...

-I could re-think it.
-Dear…

See our guest out.

All right.

A box of gold, I...

That is to say...

It's all yours if you win.

No!

I'll get half even if I lose.

UPRIGHT AND IMPARTIAL

So whose kid was killed

by whose kid?

My son was

killed by his son.

You are the plaintiff.

Your Honor, actually we are the plaintiff.

Our legal paper has been

presented to you before dawn,

his son hadn't died yet at that time.

Then what are you suing him for?

Suing his kid

for breaking the nail off the left pinky

of Chan Tai Man.

He has been badly injured!

But my son died.

That’s true. His son died.

Your honor,

everyone dies eventually.

That's true.

My child was really

beaten to death by him.

Why don't you admit your son is useless?

I casually jumped over and hit him twice.

Casually jumped over and hit him?

Twice.

I casually jumped over and hit him...

As powerful as this?

Yes...

Should be this kind of power.

Lawyer Sung...

Don't ask, you are not that smart.

Let me ask you:

-When was your son beaten?
-Yesterday afternoon.

-When did he die?
-This afternoon.

Then it's not his fault.

I only hit him twice,

if he dies years later,

would I be sued for a murder?

No way!

Your honor is wise.

My son was a healthy kid,

if it wasn't for him,
he would not have died.

Lawyer Sung, please help me.

Your kid died because he had a short life.

He didn't.

No?

Then how long a life do I look like
I would have?

I... don't know

As such, how would you know

if your son didn't have a short life.

Your Honor, any result yet?

Yes.

Could you give me an indication?

Sure.

Chan Tai Man was injured,

but the defendant died suddenly
of unknown causes.

He should pay 50 taels
as a medical compensation,

but we will drop the charges.

Good.

There should be an outcome, Your Honor.

Yes.

Hurry and give the sentence.

OK.

Cheung Biu allows
his son to commit murder.

Considering it's the first offence,
there'll be no charge.

Tell your son not to break the law again.

Is this right?

I think his son will not commit
such an offence again.

Son. Dear,

get our son out
to play with his wooden horse.

I just brought it.

Young master...

He fell into the well.

He didn’t survive his first birthday.

What goes around comes around.

FORTUNE AND PROSPERITY

Retirement ceremony begins.

Teacher, is this really an auspicious day?

It's the best day of the year.

Let me check the calendar.

It says today is not good
for auspicious affairs...

Except the time between 1:00-3:00 p.m.

But it matches your birth date.

It can't be better.

One should allow some leeway.

Hurry, or we'll miss it.

What happened?

I'm having cramps, take me home at once.

Are you all right?

Well, husband?

Let go...

-Better?
-Yes.

-Let me look.
-Don't.

A miracle, all is well suddenly.

Right, go ahead!

Come.

-Please.
-You first.

-Please.
-You first.

I'll start first then.

I'll start first.

Ah Fuk!

Don't miss the time, go on.

Go up.

Not yet, go up.

I brought something to help you.

What's so frightening about a frog?

Out of the way, let me.

-This should do it!
-You fool!

How could you cut off the tallest section?

This is realistic!

Right! The ladder is broken.
What should be done?

Yes...

What to do? Get another ladder.

What? A ladder as tall as this

would take nine days to make.

In that case, we'll do it later.

-Right!
-Or else what do you have in mind?

Come, let's go home.

You still want to beget a son
who'll die within a year?

No, I just want to do it later!

Later, my ass!

Just in time.

Great.

Let's go.

-Come back.
-What is it now?

The matter is not over yet.

To demonstrate your determination,

you'll swear an oath.

If you break the promise

made during the ceremony,

the child I am carrying

would be without a dick.

Are you serious? A child again?

Stop, say the oath.

No mother would curse her own child.

No dick?

Does it really have to be this harsh?

Of course...

All right, if I break my oath,

you'll have no dick as the punishment.

I mean the kid.

All right, the kid will have no dick.

Let's go!

How come you bear a child so easily?

You are really something.

Thanks.

YUET LOI INN

Come.

Thanks.

FREE TEA FROM SUNG SAI KIT

Sue the son of Cheung Biu

for breaking the nail off,

the left pinky of Chan Cheung Fu's son.

Yes! A serious injury.

Your honor, my son died.

His son died.

Everyone dies, sir.

Still thinking of suing people?

I really don't understand you women.

Sticking these things in your hair.

What do you mean?

That's hairdo.

Looks like sea blubber. How awful!

It looks really good.

Don't mind me,

but if you tied two sausages on your head,
think it would look good?

How about this?

Looks awful.

Right.

So...

How about this?

What is this?

No? Change it...

What are you doing?

Satisfied with this?

Where are you?

Here.

You bastard!

I'm still taller than you.

Have you ever studied?

For two days.

Could you be more subtle?

You've lost face.

I... you.

You men like to poke your nose
into women's affairs,

you have too much time on your hands!

What do you think?

What a waste of time.

That's right! I am not young,

so I have nothing to do all day.

People would laugh at me.

And it's a pity that I also quit my job.

You are the boss now.

How about just walking around for a while?

I have walked around for a long while.

Then go and stand there.

Stand?

Stop pretending to be busy.

I know you have nothing to do.

Bring me the writing material.

Ah Fuk, come and write!

Go away.

LIFE WITHOUT SEAFOOD

You call this writing!

I'll show you.

Your son will have no dick.

Ah Sui.

Lend me the broom.

Fetch me a bucket of water.

Put it here.

The one standing and writing
is Sung Sai Kit.

Each of you three,

break a rib of his for me.

Don't worry.

See that?

FRESH SEAFOOD

It's no use even if it looks good?
You can't hang it up.

I have to repeat writing it.

I am giving you a chance to learn.

I'll demonstrate once again.

Why have you wet my head?

Why have you torn my clothes?

When did I do that?

Blatant liar.

Now we are even.

What to do?

Beat him.

Don't run.

Don't run.

Don't run.

He's so happy to see me!

What happened, Ah Fuk?

Young master is being beaten up.

Help!

Honey, are you all right?

Let go, it's embarrassing.

I'll kill you...

Go away.

Let me hit them a little.

Stop it.

To be hugged by a woman, how shameful.

Brat, your sister is damn good.

Master, put on some clothes.

Luckily there aren’t many people here.

Mr. Sung, this material
is shapely and cool.

It's great.

Is it?

Trust me.

Good...

As usual, make another pair.

Great.

However, the sole is somewhat hard.

Add a heel snug.

Add a heel snug?

What about this?

Should be good.

Great...

Let's do it this way then.

The snug might be crushed flat.

Should we use wood?

That would be heavy.

It's OK.

Too hard.

Don't worry,

add on a couple of snugs.

Add on a couple of snugs to the wood.

Let me think, got it!

If we added two layers of leather
on the heel,

it'd be very durable, right!

That's fine!

Put it on, you'll be
at least five to six inches taller.

Right...

How about this?

I like it!

We're all pleased!

Then add another one, right?

Why not do it this way?

Excuse me.

What the hell are you doing?

Scared?

Now you know what it feels
like not to be as tall as others.

What's so good about a man being tall?

It's more important to be high minded,

do you know that?

You hold the highest position in my heart.

Wife.

I...

Speak.

In my mind you are... the biggest.

Excuse me.

Come, have some tea.

Thanks.

It's true, madam.

Ah Fuk harasses me all the time.

I wouldn't lie to you.

What a gossiper!

It's true.

Feels good.

Damn you, using my tea to wash your feet.

Right! Madam,

he's smart,
tea could take away the stench.

Shut up.

Such a beautiful woman,

how did she end up with him!

Your husband's death is inexplicable.

And the way you have escaped

might cause your sister-in-law
to use it as an excuse.

A woman is most evil
in murdering her own husband.

But my husband was poisoned
by my brother-in-law.

Brother against brother!

Your sister-in-law's brother
is San Si's Commissioner.

Right!

Would she sue you?

She wouldn't dare!

She is guilty conscious

and dares not do anything.

She seems to be reasonable.

The way I see it, with your pregnancy

you should be careful lest you be cheated.

That is the real thing.

My belly wouldn't be any bigger.

Was I referring to you?

I am her second brother.

Brother, where is the money I gave you?

All gone to gambling...

All lost.

Hey, are you finished?

What should I do?

Don't be anxious...

The fellow coming this way is my brother.

I'll borrow some money from him.

He'll definitely agree.

Wait here, I'll be right back.

Brother Yeung, what a coincidence.

I just came to do some shopping,
haven’t seen you in a while.

Right!

How's your wife?

She passed away two years ago.

So there's no one
to take care of the kids?

An elderly fellow is taking care of them.

He is an honest man

and will surely be deceived
by your second brother.

Right.
He'll be deceived by the second brother.

Your sister's daughter is pregnant,

yet, still wants to marry!

Precisely because of that
and also since her husband died

that's why she wants to marry.

If you marry her,

she'll serve you

and your two kids devotedly.

All one asks for
is a decent woman for a wife.

She is decent.

Does your sister's daughter

have the same surname as you?

Of course not, why would I

get you someone named Yeung too, right?

They're looking at us.

Oh, why keep staring at me!

Right! Why keep staring at me!

I am sure he is looking at me.

You are shameless.

Come over here for a second.

Pack up and leave.

Only 50 taels,

would it be too stingy?

No...

This is Mr. Yeung.

I have a bad stomach, excuse me.

You chat for a while.

Hey, brother Yeung...

Miss Chau, how about your uncle?

He's not my uncle.
He is my second brother.

He took fifty taels of silver from me

and wanted to find a husband for you.

Your husband was murdered

and your second brother sold you
to someone.

How can he do such a thing?

I'll chase him back.

Master, after crossing this mountain
we'll go into town.

Are you still running?

See where you can run?

Go and have a look.

Yes.

Don't come over.

You bastard, how can you do such a thing.

You are such a beast.

Don't come over,
I'll give you back the money.

Take my hand.

Brother Yeung, I'm so sorry.

Take care, goodbye forever.

Brother Yeung.

Brother Yeung.

Go up first.

One of them couldn't be saved,
he fell to his death.

Mister, you witnessed

what happened just now.

Go to the nearby magistrate's office
and be a witness.

My master is busy

and has no time to be a witness,

because...

Bring this fan with you.

If someone blames you
at the magistrate's office,

show him this fan

and he'll understand.

Mister...

How come they are not back yet?

Never mind!

Perhaps he couldn't catch up
with your second brother.

That Yeung Ching is a generous chap.

He fears his return might embarrass you,

that's why he left without saying goodbye.

Why is my life full of pain?

What should I do?

Don't cry.

Stay at my home for a while.

After your second brother
abandons Yeung Ching,

he'll come back for you, I guess.
Come, let's go.

Go away.

Who'd want to keep a pregnant woman here!

Bullshit.

You'd better stop saying "bullshit".

Let's go.

So inhuman

to hit my two goodies all the time.

This woman's husband

was poisoned to death

by her husband's brother

and his wife.

This woman's husband's brother

and her husband's brother's wife

are trying to frame this woman

as her husband's murderer.

It's fortunate that this woman had a maid

who told her all about it.

So she ran away from home

and looked for her second brother.

But this woman's second brother

was a gambler and cold-blooded.

He cheated her of her money

and sold her

to her brother's sworn brother

as a wife.

Then this woman's second brother

left the woman behind and ran away.

That's why this woman
had to come to my house.

Good...

Can you speak faster?

She's pathetic.

There are many pathetic people
in the world.

Could you care that much?

She's pregnant.

There are many pregnant women too.

How many could you care for?

Let her stay till
her second brother comes to fetch her.

Master.

Master, Mistress.

That woman's brother won't take her away.

How come?

Her brother fell
from the hill and he is dead.

Now that her brother is dead,

she's without a family.

She's now pregnant.

You can't take care of her

for the rest of her life.

At least we'll wait until
she gives birth to her baby.

Mistress, the woman gave birth to a son.

So quick.

It's bad.

With this child

she can't work and can't marry again.

It's a dead end.

Master, Mistress.

That woman hanged herself.

Hanged herself.

That's even worse,
she's left a burden behind her.

She hanged herself.

Why did you have to commit a suicide?

Look, she hanged herself.

Aren't you going to save her?

What? Since it has come to this,

it's understandable that
she would hang herself.

You can’t feel anything?

Are you still able to feel anything?

You've held her for so long

don't you feel tired?

Normally, I would be.

Then why don't you put her down?

I shall, why are you shouting?

So mean.

Hold her.

Mistress Sung, just let me die.

Why do you still want to die?

You have so many ideas.

Think of something to help her.

I said it just now! It's a dead end.

Mistress Sung, please take care of my son.

Treat him as if he were your own.

I've lost many sons.

I understand very well
the feeling of a mother.

I won't let your son be without a mother.

Then thanks for the trouble, I...

Death seems to be the only way for me.

Death? No way!

You're talking nonsense, who on earth

can bring people back to life.

Stop right there!

Shut the door...

What is it?

They are fighting!

Come on, hit me
in front of my parents if you dare to.

Come down if you have the guts,
I'll beat you up.

I don't have it with me,
that's why I'm not coming down.

What a shame.

Don't forget,
it's your decision for my retirement.

Now you make me help people to sue.

I've sworn an oath,
my son will be without a dick.

This time it's for justice,

God will forgive you.

What happens if he doesn't?

Are you going to give me back his dick?

Stop it!

You are not a man if you don't help her.

I'll beat you up
if you dare to say that again.

You are not a man.

Considering that you are a pregnant woman…

Say that again if you have the guts.

You are not a man...

All right, I am a woman.

What are you going to do with me?

All right then,
don't go back to your room tonight.

Dad, Mom,

I'm going to sleep with you tonight.

Master.

What are you laughing at? Are you crazy?

Master, wash your face please.

Crazy.

Who's that bitch?

It's you!

Damn it.

Who got me into all this?

It's Mistress.

She said you are mean,
a coward with no self-esteem.

You might as well become a woman.

But the way you look

is more beautiful than the Mistress.

Keep your big mouth shut.

Where's Mistress?

Mistress said that
since you refused to help Ms. Yeung,

she left earlier on
for the magistrate's office.

Who does she think she is?

Master, change your clothes first.

No! Nanny wants to make sweet papaya soup.

So what? Who cares?

You have to give me the papaya first.

Mistress has left the papaya with you.

Come...

Give it to me!

I don't owe you anything
and I won't give it to you.

Don't go.

Keep a watch here, I'll go in.

I'll keep a watch here, you go in.

Officer...

Cool.

What does it say?

There are many XXs and OOs.

Read them to me.

Yes sir.

Yeung Sau Chun and I

XXOO the magistrate,

Yeung Sau Chun's OO...

Wait. Mrs. Sung,

what does Yeung Sau Chun's OO represent?

Her husband.

Go on.

Yeung Sau Chun's OO was XX.

Yeung Sau Chun XX.

Wait, what does that mean?

To make sure justice is done.

I don't know how to write that word.

What do you want?

I'm here to look for my wife.

Look for her at home.

How dare you,
I am the lawyer Sung Sai Kit.

I used to go in and out of here freely,
who dares to stop me?

You had the required documentation
with you then,

what have you got with you now?

Please, I'll buy you a meal.

New magistrate, new rules.

“Irrelevant people shall not enter.”

Wait here if you like.

Last of all, it's the OO
of your whole family.

Damn it... What does it mean?

Does anyone in your family know
how to write?

Of course there is. Who doesn't know that

my husband is Sung Sai Kit,

the lawyer of great reputation.

No wonder you are so arrogant.

So you are the wife of Sung Sai Kit.

At your service.

Not really.

Come men, bring the instrument of torture.

Yes, sir...

What's the use
of this instrument of torture?

It's to slap your mouth thirty times.

Wait. I'm here to file a complaint,
why do you want to hit me?

Your husband Sung Sai Kit distorts facts.
You as his wife are also shrewd.

For your husband's sake,
I'm slapping you thirty times only.

How can this be?

What are you doing?

Don't move or you'll get it
all over your face.

Stand still.

Do I look like...

Like Ji Gong, the living Buddha.

Then...

Cry if you want to!

Not to mention
that my son will be without a dick.

Even if I lose it,

I must take revenge.

FORTUNE AND PROSPERITY

No, no way.

Make an exception.

You've sworn an oath.

Right...

I swear all the time.

What has it got to do with you if I swear?

If you want to move this archway

inscribed by Emperor Qian Long,
you can’t, no matter what.

Right...

This archway affects
the feng shui of our whole village.

That's right...

It has been here
for almost a hundred years

and everything runs smoothly.

That's right...

Has it been moved when it was put up,

everything would have been affected.

You can't move this, that's final.

That's right...

Husband.

Quiet.

Dear, you go.

You put it up there,
so you must do it by yourself.

Go!

Ah Fuk!

Ah Fuk, hold it steady.

Hurry and take it.

-Got it.
-Go!

Great, here comes the "Iron Pen" again!

Commoners will have the chance
to redress injustice.

Damn it, it should be my line.

Why do you have to speak my part?

Wait.

Everyone, please do me a favor

and listen to what my husband
is going to say, OK?

Please look over there.

Don't move...

The gold in this carriage

is enough to build a number of archways
like this one.

If not, you can split it up!

Right, split it!

Don't move...

Dear neighbors, listen to me.

This thing...

Mr. Sung.

Oh... Lord Ho!

Your fame precedes you...

Have you eaten?

Yes.

Mr. Sung.

Thank you.

Magistrate Ho.

Thank you.

Please.

Sung Sai Kit!

I'm here!

Before I assumed this position,

I've heard you are eloquent

and can distort facts, isn't it true?

So you are the one with a big tummy,

the Magistrate Ho, who always farts.

You are insulting me!

I didn't say that, I just heard it.

And you didn't even think about it,
you're such a fool.

That's right, we come from
the same factory which manufactures idiot.

-I'm different from you!
-What's the difference?

We've both heard what other people said

and we are the same kind.

How dare you?

But at times,
not everything one hears is correct.

Other people say that you are like a pig,

but from my view...
You don't look like one.

Yeung Sau Chun from San Si,

why do you have to file a complaint
here in Guangchou?

Your Honor, being from Wunan,

why should you work as an official
here in Guangchou?

You said the husband of this slut

was murdered by his brother and his wife

and put the blame on her,
what proof do you have?

None.

If you have none,
then it's a false accusation.

-Wait!
-What?

Allow me to ask you,
am I a man or a woman?

You are a man of course.

Have you got any proof?

Man is...

You've got a wife and a son.

If you're not a man, what can you be?
It's a common sense.

Your Honor, you are so clever.

You flatter me.

Her brother-in-law
and his wife lost a brother

and his sister-in-law ran away.

If she were not guilty conscious,

why didn't she do something about it?

Your Honor, is this logical?

Yeung Sau Chun,
did you see with your own eyes

that they poisoned your husband?

No, but Ah Mui, my maid, did.

She saw the two of them

put poison into the soup

and after my husband drank the soup,

he started bleeding and died.

This idiot was warned by Ah Mui

and escaped from home
before she too was murdered.

How talkative you are?

That's because I care about her.

That's what a magistrate will do.

My husband taught me this.

Oh, my Lord!

Sir, is there a result yet?

All right, I'll take the case
for the time being.

Thin Tiger and Fat Dragon.

What's your instruction sir?

You two set off to San Si immediately

and arrest Yeung Sau Chun's
brother-in-law and his wife

for a trial.

Bring Ah Mui, her maid, as well.

Yes sir!

End of court session.

Wait.

Your Honor, please stay.

Your Honor, there's something
I still don't understand,

please enlighten me.

Yes? What is it?

If someone has falsely accused
another person,

what's his penalty?

It depends on who that person is

who's been falsely accused.

A gentleman. Someone like Your Honor?

Really? He might be charged for slander

or at least for insulting a gentleman.

If you were the judge

what would be the sentence?

That would depend on whether

he did it on purpose or not.

What if he did it unintentionally?

Even so, he would have to pay a penalty.

You are very intelligent, my respects.

Thanks...

Anything else?

Hurry and pay.

When did I owe you money?

Your Honor said just now
that I am eloquent

and distort facts.

Yes...

Now since you've taken on this case,

this proves that I'm telling the truth.

Yes...

Then you have insulted a gentleman,
haven't you?

Or you can't tell right from wrong,
making a mess.

Choose one of these and admit it.

You can't be serious...

Bring fifty taels of silver
and give them to Mr. Sung.

Yes...

Be careful, if this is publicized,

I'm afraid it might damage
Your Honor's reputation.

Bad luck.

You're crying again.

Please.

A magistrate!

Your Honor!

Your Honor!

Commissioner!

Magistrate Yeung, what's the hurry

that you have to see me tonight?

Those two constables,

one fat and one skinny,

said they have been travelling non-stop

for three months from Guangchou,

bringing along with them papers
to arrest your sister

and her husband to take them
back to Guangchou for a trial.

Mistress, Master.

-What is it?
-Two officials from Guangchou

came to arrest you for a murder trial.

Mother... Mother...

Murdering who?

My brother-in-law!

My sister is out of line.

Sir, you must think of something.

What can I do?

Please, stay calm.

She's your sister after all.

You must help her!

A life for a life, what can I do?

I'm your only daughter.

Mother, you must think of something
to help me!

You don't want to see me die!

I know that you are my only daughter,

but how can I help?

Mother, brother has always been
filial to you.

He likes listening to your...

Your flute! Give me a hand.

That's right! Mother,

I'll try.

Then she is doomed...

Wait, my mother is looking for me.

Oh! He really listens to his mother.

Mother...

Mother, are you all right?

Brother.

You two are so cold-blooded.

Kneeling means you admit it.

Brother, please help me!

You deserve it.

How dare you ask me for help!

Brother, you're right, I deserve it.

Then forget about having me
as your daughter.

Mother...

Your saying so really broke my heart.

Blood!

Mother is throwing up blood...

It can't be!

Mother!

You do nothing and let your sister
be arrested for a trial.

Your lack of actions,
how can I not throw up blood?

What do I need this hot water pot for?

Let me freeze to death.

Mother...

This one...

I won't play mahjong anymore.

Mother...

Mother, listen to me.

Magistrate of Guangchou
is solely responsible for this.

You are the Commissioner of San Si.

Can't you manage
even a Guangchou magistrate?

I don't want to live!

Let me die!

Mother...

Let me die, don't stop me.

All right, Mother, I'll try.

Ah Yuen, Ah Chuen, come here immediately.

Yes!

What is it, Madam?

No matter what, ask the magistrate

to keep the two officials
from Guangchou, hurry and go.

Yes...

Ask Ah Yuen and Ah Chuen
to go to Guangchou immediately,

before your sister
and brother-in-law arrive,

and try to bribe them.

No matter how much money it takes,
I'm willing to pay.

You want to borrow my nanny?

Yes! My grandchild has had
a cough for long time

and hasn't been cured.

People say breast feeding is effective.

Nanny, come over.

Yes, Mistress!

Go with this madam

and breast-feed her grandchild.

No, my grandchild is twenty years old.

What did you say?

He's a grown up,
still wants me to breast-feed.

Maybe leave some for him if possible.

Mistress, I'm no sugar-cane

such that you could
squeeze for juice any time.

Madam Sung, what can I do?

Gently, dear.

OK.

Come...

-What happened!
-No...

Come, hurry.

I can't! The tummy is too big.

Your tummy is getting big so fast.

You know well that you can't.

Then don't scream so amorously

and make me feel mentally aroused.

I am going out.

I can't bear it.

The almond soup is ready.

Madam Sung.

The milk for madam Cheung is ready.

We are all women, no need to be shy.

Put it over there.

I'll ask nanny to bring it over.

All right.

Dear.

Master Sung.

Mrs. Sung will be right back.

Really?

The soup is ready.

You want to drink it? You first.

No almond taste.

Tastes heavily of milk.

Is this yours?

-Yes.
-What is it?

Milk.

Goat's milk or cow milk?

Human milk, it's from me.

No matter what, don't let anyone know.

I'm going out first.

You bastard,
you must be having an affair with her.

No!

You deny?

Yes, no matter what.

Tut!

You sex maniac, you mess with women
while I'm pregnant.

I heard Yuet Loi Inn belongs
to Sung Sai Kit.

Hey, do you know whether Sung Sai Kit

is the boss of this inn?

Sung Sai Kit? He's dead.

Bitch.

This Sung Sai Kit died at the wrong time.

May I ask when's the right time to die?

Who are you?

I'm the cashier here.

If he has to die, he should die earlier.

So we don't have to come a long way
from San Si.

You are from San Si?

Only from San Si
can there be such high quality people.

You two must be government officials!

Commissioner of San Si.

Oh?

It's our Master.

Oh?

They sent us here

to deliver an important letter
to the magistrate.

Why bother to tell
this nobody so many things?

Notorious...

OK...

You are really smart...

Your Master sent you here for...

Stop talking nonsense, is it full here?

Full? It's a false front.

Please have a seat.

Don't touch me.

I'm going to clean up, I'll be right back.

Go...

Madam.

What is it, Master Sung?

Don't cry.

There're two men outside

who are sent by
your sister-in-law's brother.

I suspect them.

Please listen to me first.

I'd like you to give up this room

in order that I can rent it out to them.

I can make use of the opportunity
to try them out.

You might have to compromise a bit.

No problem, you did this for me.

Master Sung, you want to drink!

No, leave it for your son.

No problem, if you like to have it.

No need to stand on ceremony.

You must squeeze it very hard.

It's made by grinding.

Grinding?

Almond soup!

You can squeeze out almond soup too!

Madam.

Don't crease my clothes.

It's late, stop making such noises.

Damn it, he really went into
that woman's room.

MAGISTRATE HO OF GUANGCHOU

You bastard.

Who's making the horrible noise here?

It's you.

It's late, what's a woman like you

doing here, acting suspiciously?

You're behaving like a slut

and sneaked into the room of two men.

What are you trying to do?

Give me a good reason for that.

Speak!

Speak!

I just wanted to borrow a night pot.

Is this a good enough reason?

Without a dick,
what'd she need a night pot for?

No.

In fact,
I wasn't here to borrow a night pot.

I know,
you thought Yeung Sau Chun was here

and wanted to have a chat with her,
isn't it?

Yes! How smart you are?

Of course, I won't think
she's messing with you.

Would I be so suspicious?

Do you suspect me?

No, of course not.

Damn it, you are blaming me.

So what?

It's just a joke!

-Don't be angry.
-I won't.

What's in the letter?

According to this letter,
Yeung Sau Chun has been...

Falsely accused,
because this Yiu couple availed

of the relationship
of the Commissioner of San Si

and wrote a letter to Ho Yue Da

and bribed him with
five thousand taels of silver

to blame it on Yeung Sau Chun.

How blatant, beat him up!

No rush.

This letter will be evidence enough.

Let's make a copy

and put it back, so that no one will know.

Right! You are great!

Now you know.

I always knew,
but it's just that I don't talk about it.

From now on, you must repeat it
once every day and night,

and without hairdo.

Yes.

And you certainly can't beat me up.

Yes.

And listen to all that I say.

Only important things.

That's bad, with your kind of intellect,

you can't tell what is important.

Let's do it this way.

From now on, once I say maltose,

you'll do as I say.

Yes.

I'm the world's most handsome man,
what do you say?

Oh, no!

Maltose.

You are the most handsome man,
no matter what.

There's no doubt about it.

Don't!

Maltose.

You asked for it.

Oh, so that's how the case is.

Even San Si's magistrate
hasn't had a trial on the case.

That's true.

But our master's just hoping

that you can be more lenient.

Hey, you've said everything.

Your Honor, our Miss and Master

are on their way here with two officials.

Kindly be more lenient.

I, as a government official,

have always been impartial and honest.

Please go back
and report to the Commissioner

that for the sake of us all as colleagues,

I'll try my best.

As for the silver, I can't accept it.

That's it then, please return the silver.

Please stay.

Just leave the silver behind!

What is it, Madam Ho?

Tell your master

that our Magistrate Ho thanked him.

Didn't Magistrate Ho say that
he was impartial?

The expenses are too big.

He’s too upright.

Which all ends up in nothing.

It stinks.

Let's go.

The Yiu couple pays respects
to your honor.

You take a look at her.

Do you recognize this woman with a child?

Your Honor,

she's Ms. Yeung,
the wife of my brother-in-law.

Yeung Sau Chun was an adulteress
and murdered her husband,

she also tried to blame the Yiu couple.

Your Honor!

Shut up, don't say anything.

Your Honor, may I ask

if this is the first time
you meet the Yiu couple?

So what?

If it is, then you must be so stupid.

Stupid?

If this is the first meeting,

you have to at least make it look better.

Have I not done it well just now?

That's right! You should at least pretend

to listen to what everyone has to say.

The Yiu couple hasn't said a word

and you appeared to know everything.

That's like telling everyone
that everything's pre-arranged.

Well...

You're doing as I say.

How could you be a magistrate?

Damn, if I don't teach you a lesson today,

I won't be a real magistrate.

Use torture!

Sir, there are three kinds of torture,

which one would you like?

Type C!

Wait, what is C?

C is C!

Hold on!

When does a woman have the right to speak?

My husband is essentially a scholar.

As long as he has credibility,

you can't punish him as you like.

As long as he likes it, it's fine.
Is that right?

It is obvious...

So you want to play tactics?

I am game, but be careful

so you don't get yourself
into serious trouble.

I'm ready to go against you
whatever it takes.

The three of you must think this through.

You haven't had a bowel movement
for 10 days

and you haven't slept for a month.

Your pig had a miscarriage a few days ago

and died last night.

All because Sung Sai Kit...

meddled with the feng shui,

that's how all this came about.

No matter what, you're seniors,
Sung Sai Kit...

Sung Sai Kit is way out of line.

So, according to my opinion...

Uncle...

Just say it!

Say it!

So shouldn't we teach him a lesson?

Could you finish your sentence at one go?

All right, uncle...

Gentlemen...

So rude, leaving without informing me.

Strip his title, is it?

You've went down so quickly.

As I said, I'm a scholar,
so you can't use torture on me.

You're merely a petty local magistrate.

One day when I pass the public exam,

I could be your boss.

You are not a scholar anymore.

Scholar.

Teacher.

Sung Sai Kit,
you messed with the feng shui,

I'm stripping your title now.

Scholar, thanks for your trouble.

You're welcome...

Please...

Officials are protecting each other.

Want to destroy my official credits?

Don't think you could do me any harm.

Get me the letter, honey.

What? It is with you!

With me? I thought it was with you.

Is it with me?

Wait!

Oh, God, they forgot the letter!

Excuse me, out of the way.

What are you two doing?

Right, Your Honor.

I forgot something important.

Could you give me an hour?

-Ridiculous, men!
-Yes!

-Beat him up!
-Wait.

What is it?

Don't say I haven't warned you.

I know all about you.

If you dare to touch me,

you'll regret it.

-Beat him up.
-Wait.

Are you afraid?

I'll strip you and then beat you
to ensure you're beaten up good, go on.

-Wait!
-What's up?

Hit me real hard if you dare.

The harder you hit me,
the more seriously I'll sue you.

What is there for you to sue?

Forty strokes.

Wait.

Forty are too few.

Give eighty if you have the guts.

Right, I'll give you a good round hundred.

-Wait!
-What is it now?

Nothing, just for fun.

I'll beat you till you scream.

-Wait.
-Wait.

Who shouted this time?

Ah Fuk! Here is the letter.

Advisor, read it out loud.

Yes!

Husband, I kept your company
and we XXXXX till dawn.

I then realized your XXXXX is great.

Oh no!

Husband, I XXX you.

Damn, I got the wrong letter.

What letter is this? Speak!

It's a love letter from my wife.

Shit!

XX till dawn.

Just a letter.

Your husband's XXX is great!

It's a pen. Haven't I told you

that the correct article for pen is "a",
not "your piece of".

We're going home to write.

Stop.

What's up?

Have you two fooled around enough?

Come men, beat him up.

Stop, who dares to beat my husband?

Beat him up!

Go ahead.

Butt it.

How dare you?

How dare you...

to show contempt for the court, go away!

I'll cover for you.

Maltose.

You promised to listen to me,
have you forgotten?

Even if you don't care about yourself,
you should care for the baby.

I said Maltose,
aren't you supposed to leave?

All right, wait for me.

Ah Fuk, go back and get the letter.

You bastard, if I don't get even,

I am a turtle.

All right, I'll give you one more chance.

After that,
you'll be led through the streets.

Otherwise, you wouldn’t be
the turtle that you are.

Wake me up when you're done beating him
a hundred times.

Yes, Sir.

You've no luck to enjoy that gift
of 5000 silver taels.

You're crazy, what five thousand taels?

If I had that amount,
I wouldn't work anymore.

Even if you don't, you still have to work.

Precisely because I don't,
that's why I have to work.

I took them.

What did you say?

5,000 taels from the Commissioner.

How could you have taken

that five thousand taels of silver?

Wait a minute,
how did he know about the money?

Never mind.

Just release him.

No, if he's released now,

aren't we admitting our own crime?

Now he's sentenced,
let's hold firm till the very end.

Have you found the letter yet?

No! I've searched the whole house

and it can't be found.

Big trouble.

Master is being led through the streets.

Madam Sung...

Forget it, hold the lawsuit.

Just say whether you are going or not?

-I...
-Go!

Master!

What are you doing here? Hurry and go!

Hey... Wait for me.

I... Kill!

How come she brought so many people here?

What's going on?

Easier to guard against the righteous foe

than villainous treachery.

Swordsmanship of Er Mei.

You broke my water bag.

I'll fight you till death.

Are you all right?

Wife!

Husband!

Are you going to give birth?

Take Sung Sai Kit away.

Brother Yeung!

It's a disaster, go.

Don't scare me.

Don't give birth yet.

Giving birth!

Come, Madam.

Protect the convict,
or else you'll be dead.

Retreat, all retreat.

Harder!

Hurry and try harder.

Retreat!

My dear.

Wife!

Is the child born yet?

Master, the child is born.

Nanny, does my son have a dick?

No.

What are you doing here?

Attending the banquet.

What? Here is the prison.

What banquet do you want to attend?

Never mind him, he can't do any harm.

Mr. Sung, you've sacrificed a lot.

That goes without saying.

I just pray to God

that he gives my son back his dick.

What does a girl need that for?

What did you say?

Say it again.

My wife gave birth to a girl?

Yes!

God has at least given me some face.

What can I do for you?

Prison break.

I won't do anything illegal.

Villain, if you didn't do
anything illegal,

how did Yeung Sau Chun's brother die?

It was an accident. The owner of this fan
can be my witness.

One simply can't deceive oneself.

I can't bear people
being ungrateful to me.

It's him.

This time we can't be saved.

Who's he?

Bastard!

Bastard too?

He's a government official,
that's why he's a bastard.

But a bastard of substance.

He never accepts bribes,
that's why his wife left him.

From then onwards,
he was committed to his work totally

and was promoted up four ranks.

He's now the Inspector-General.

We have hope then.

What are we going to do?

Not we, it's you.

Go immediately to submit
a plain document to him.

You'll have to make some sacrifices
for justice.

I suppose you shouldn't have
any problem with that.

No problem at all.

That's good.

Thank you!

Give this fan to him.

Be careful on your way.

You are now in a very dangerous position.

I'm not afraid!

This is a highly secured place.

Nobody can just come in
like that so easily.

If you can be here,

you must have tried very hard

and suffered a lot.

But just now when I came in, I only said

I'm here for the banquet.

All right, I know that you are great.

Stop boasting.

The national issue is more important, go.

All right, farewell.

What do you want?

Just visiting!

Visiting.

How come he has such bad luck?

So bad that someone tries to kill him.

If he dies, then we'll be in trouble.

If he dies, you'll be responsible.

You think I don't know?

Shut up...

What is it?

Come men.

-What is it?
-Hurry and chase.

He's gone, it's too late.

It's no use.

After him.

He's fainted, hurry and wake him up.

Sung Sai Kit, are you all right?

Take a few steps
and see if you're all right.

What are you doing here?

You asked me to take a few steps.

Then clap your hands for me.

Sure.

Clap your hands for me.

What makes you so happy
so as to clap your hands?

Your mom is pregnant.

Has he gone mad?

Sung Sai Kit has gone mad.

Sung Sai Kit went mad in prison.

Sung Sai Kit went mad...

Sung Sai Kit had gone mad. He's mad.

Stand still!

Sit down.

Hey, what are you doing?

Sung Sai Kit, take a look.

Do you recognize this woman with a child?

No.

Really?

Hold it.

Damn it.

Hey dear, people said you've gone mad.

Have you for real?

What tricks are you playing?

Who are you?
Why talk to me in headstand position?

It's rude.

Take her out for a beating.

Let's see how long you can tolerate it.

You really can, I'll kick...

Give her to me.

Why are you taking away my daughter?
Give her back to me.

Quiet, I know what to do.

Sung Sai Kit, both women claim

to be the mother of this baby.

How are you going to settle this case?

Why do you ask me? Want to fool me?

Not really.
I just want to seek your advice

for my consideration.

I warn you,
don't fool around with my daughter.

What are you fighting for?
Cut her up in two pieces

and each will get half of her.

Are you mad? She's your daughter.

You have a share too!

Me too? Then cut her into three pieces.

I want the middle part.

Do you have a share of her?

-Yes!
-It's none of your business.

-Advisor!
-Yes.

Sung Sai Kit, cut the baby into

four equal shares.

All right.

Cut...

Are you really mad...

She is your daughter.

You said to cut her, now you hesitate.

Such a waste of time, it's crazy.

Sung Sai Kit,
you've been clever all this time,

how come you've ended up like this.

There's no point keeping you in jail.

I order you and your family

to leave in three days
and all your possessions confiscated.

Out of the way...

Even if I can't kill you,

I have to make you mad.

See how you can sue me.

YUET LOI INN

Madam.

You can't take anything away

except things
which you've kept with yourself.

Why are you so blatant?

Sealed.

Listen, if there are still things
falling from you, we'll seal it.

How could a good person

end up like this?

No matter what he became,

he's still my husband.

I LOVE YOU

Husband.

Quiet!

Let's go.

Yes...

Madam, are you all right?

Yes.

I've just recalled

that we've been married for 10 years

and he never said he loves me.

Dear, I'm sorry, I love you.

-Come again...
-Let me knock you unconscious.

Damn you!

He just pretends to be mad, come and help.

Hurry!

Hurry...

My daughter.

Let me hold her...

She is bigger than nanny.

Let me see.

It's really a girl.

Look how cute she is.

Master, your acting is so good.

You've fooled me too.

If I can't fool you,
I'd better jump into the sea.

If I don't pretend to be mad in jail,
I'll die horribly.

I've survived this once,
they'll get their payback soon.

Wife.

Look.

The letter!

How did you get it?

It's been with me all this time.

Why didn't you give it
to Magistrate Ho that day?

Magistrate Ho? That day in court
he was higher in rank.

If I showed it to him,
he would have destroyed it.

I've been waiting for a chance.

I want the Inspector-General

to take away his rank in front of me.

Your Honor, redress an injustice!

How dare you!

How dare you get in the way
of an Inspector-General!

No matter what, give him 30 strokes first.

What's the matter with you?
Why do I get the strokes?

It's you.

Officials conspire with each other.

Sir, Sung Sai Kit is famous

for distorted facts
and falsely accused other people.

He pretended to be mad and fooled me.

You are a magistrate,

how can you allow a mere scholar
to fool around in here.

Your Honor, I am just a local magistrate,

of course he wouldn't respect me.

But he's been spreading rumors
that even you...

Pardon me for talking straight!

He says even Your Honor
together with the three of us

will still be no match for him.

Bullshit, would a mere scholar

create trouble for us?

No, Mr. Commissioner.

Many people bet heavily

that Sung Sai Kit will win this case.

All right, I'll see what Sung Sai Kit
is capable of.

Court in session...

Summon Sung Sai Kit
and all related people.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Sign for me.

Thank you for your support.

Inspector-General.

Sung Sai Kit, let me remind you

that you are no longer a scholar.

Right, why don't you kneel
to the Inspector-General?

Sung Sai Kit,
you show no respect for the law.

Since you put so much emphasis
on appearances…

Fine, I'll kneel!

Insolence, is it just appearance

if you showed respect for an official.

Respect is in the heart,

not on the knees.

Do you agree, Your Honor?

Sung Sai Kit...

Sung Sai Kit,
you are allowed not to kneel.

Thank you, Your Honor.

How did the Yiu couple

murder the husband of Yeung Sau Chun?

Magistrate Ho, what did
Ms. Yeung's husband die of?

Yeung...

Your Honor, Yeung Sau Chun's husband

was so angered that he spit out blood.

Inspector-General, you heard that.

Summon Chan Er.

Summon Chan Er.

Tell their lordships

who you are and what do you do.

I am a coroner from San Si, Your Honor.

How did Yeung Sau Chun's husband die?

All his bones had turned black.

He died of severe poisoning.

What? Say it louder.

Died of severe poisoning.

You two are so malicious,
you killed my husband.

Stop crying!

You could be the one who poisoned him.

Yes, it may be her...

That's right! If this is the case, you...

Me?

Not you, you...

Magistrate from San Si,
someone died an unnatural death

in your territory,
and you do nothing about it.

You are responsible for all this,

but you don't have to be so scared.

You are not the murderer,
it's the Yiu couple.

Your Honor, we are innocent...

It's not a false accusation,
since it's proved

that Yiu Er died of severe poisoning,
how can you still say

his wife caused his death?

If you are not guilty conscious,
why should you lie?

How do I know if he died of anger

or of severe poisoning?

This is so argumentative.

Even if Yiu Er died of severe poisoning

there's no proof

that it was done by the Yiu couple.

That's right!

That's true! Summon Siao Mei.

Summon Siao Mei.

I am here.

Greetings to all.

Siao Mei.

You are Siao Mei?

Yes, Your Honor.

Where were you after the murder?

Your Honor, since Madam disappeared,

I went back to my homeland.

But you were at the crime scene
at that time.

Speak the truth!

No, I wasn't there.

How can you say that?

You told me from the very beginning
that they poisoned and killed my husband.

You asked me to leave too.

How could you say such things now?

I didn't say that.

-And...
-Enough!

Thank you, you may go now.

Your Honor...

Sung Sai Kit, not your turn yet.

Siao Mei, continue.

I'm the maid serving Madam.

Madam was violent

and bullied second master all the time.

She used to hit him.

You...

At times, she would invite
some rascals home.

I wasn't there on the day of murder,

but the day before

I heard her quarreling very fiercely

with second master in their room.

The next day, second master died.

Sung Sai Kit, what else would you say?

Nothing.

Your Honor, the case is entirely clear.

Yeung Sau Chun murdered her husband.

And Sung Sai Kit
falsely accused other people.

Mr. Sung, you should be capable of more.

Your Honor, you are so smart,
you've got it right.

There's a letter here, it was written by

the Commissioner of San Si
to Magistrate Ho

and accidentally came into my possession.

I made a copy.

What is it about?

The content is very interesting.

To protect his own sister,
the Commissioner of San Si

paid 5,000 taels

to Ho Yue Da, and asked him

to turn a blind eye to the case.

Your Honor, there's indeed a letter

from the Commissioner, who requested me
to deal with the case

according to the law.

Where's the letter now?

It's gone.

Look at this one then!

Wait.

Just now you said you've copied it.

Then you could have written it
in any way you want.

The copy was sent to Magistrate Ho.

The one I've got here is the true copy.

You can say whatever you want.

It's hard to determine
whether it's real or not.

See if the handwriting matches.

-That's right!
-Wait.

What do you want?

As per the law,
whoever peeps at official documents

should have his eyes gouged out,
isn't it, Your Honor?

Yes.

True indeed that there's such a law.

Sung Sai Kit, if you've really
peeped at the documents

then you should have your eyes
gouged out first.

If you agree to do that,

we'll believe that
this letter is the true copy.

Sounds reasonable.

Inspector-General, what do you think?

Correct.

Go on.

May I ask if
I could gouge some other places?

How dare you be so blatant.

Serve him with
the instruments of punishment.

Are you going to gouge it?

No.

Damn it, if not, then
you're making a false statement,

showing disrespect
to government officials.

What should be done
in accordance with the law?

Cut off his tongue.

Torture him with
instruments of punishment.

Sung Sai Kit, either gouge your eyes out

or cut off your tongue. Choose!

You can't have a third choice.

Husband.

Use torture.

-Wait!
-Who said that?

-Me.
-What is it?

-Someone shitting.
-Who?

My daughter.

Your Honor, allow me to change diaper
for my daughter.

Damn it, how can you
do such a thing in court, you...

Magistrate Ho farts...

In court,
only government officials can fart,

common people are not allowed to shit.

It's not fair, right?

-That's right...
-So loud, and it stinks.

All right, change it!

Thank you. Your Honor, what...

So troublesome, why give birth to a girl?

Girls like to shit.

Why blame me? Had you done some good deeds

your sons wouldn't have all died.

Hadn't I done any good?
It's all your fault.

-Not me.
-No? I haven't said anything yet.

It's all because of you,
all you do is cry.

I've tolerated you for a long time.

You cried so much
that softened the heart of my wife

and made me take on this case
and here comes trouble.

Let me tell you, it's none of my business.

-No, I...
-Quiet!

Now I'm the most innocent one.

Do me a favor,
throw away the diaper for me.

Could someone please help?

No fooling around in court.

Who is it again?

Who else?

I...

Magistrate Ho, you are a scholar.

Behave yourself in court.

I... never mind.

Don't cry.

Dear, come over here.

Yes!

How come there's a silver ingot here?

It's from Magistrate Ho.

How come my money is with you?

How come Magistrate Ho's silver ingot

is with you?

There must be a reason. Don't ask.

Speak up!

I can't.

What are you afraid of now?

I can't. We all know what's going on.

You dare to seduce my wife!

I...

You damned bastard!

You seduced his wife,
and you dare to deny it.

I haven't!

You slut, tell the truth

or else I'll drown you in a cage!

All right! Magistrate Ho bought a house

and I'm his agent, this is the commission.

When did I buy a house?

It's playboy Wang!

What?
The one who loves flirting with women!

How did Mr. Ho get to know this person?

Magistrate Ho didn't, but Madam Ho did.

You bought a house from Wang?

Me? No, I didn't.

You women are so ungrateful.

Magistrate Ho works hard
to earn just a little

and you use his money
to support a gigolo.

You really...

How much is the house?

Five thousand taels of silver.

You took 5,000 taels of silver
to support a gigolo.

What a rubbish.
From where can I get that much?

You didn't?

I wouldn't dare take that silver

but you took it to support a gigolo.

I haven't spent a dime of it.

You're lying.

If you haven't spent
the 5,000 taels of silver

from the Commissioner of San Si,
how come it's with my wife?

Damn, that 5,000 taels of silver

are still kept in my room.

Those five thousand taels of silver
are in her room.

Madam Ho, sorry to bother you.

You may go back to sleep.

Inspector-General,

I suppose you've heard it
very clearly just now.

Sung Sai Kit,

even if I've given
five thousand taels of silver

to Magistrate Ho,
you still can't sue me for bribery.

I can give him the money, can't I?

Whether it's a bribe or not
can be proved by the letter.

You dare to mention that letter!

Just now you tried to be sly
and divert the subject.

I almost forgot about
your peeping at official papers.

Men, execute the punishment.

Damn you!

When did I ever peep at official papers?

The letter you saw just now
was no official paper,

it's just a blank sheet of paper.

I was lying, Your Honor.

How dare you lie in court!

That's right, according to the law,

telling lies deserves
to be slapped fifty times.

I'd be glad to accept the punishment

even if I were slapped two more times.

But I stole the true copy

and put it here.

But I didn't read it,
so I needn't have my eyes gouged.

But you were stealing...

Stay calm. Stealing official paper,

according to the law,

he's to be flogged a 100 times
and exiled for five years.

I know from the very start.

You didn't read the letter,

how can you insist on saying

that this is bribery?

Speak!

We've won.

To tell you the truth,
I'm just making an assumption.

Your Honor, according to the law,

what's the punishment for assuming

in the court?

Not guilty.

How lucky!

But I can bear the responsibility
of some other charges.

But then, Magistrate Tin,

you should clarify
the matter for yourself.

Why don't we read the letter out aloud?

If I assumed wrongly

I’ve blemished your credibility,

I'll be guilty.

Myself, my wife and daughter,

my servants,
my nanny should all be executed.

Yes.

-Magistrate Tin, please.
-Oh.

Read it.

No...

What's there to be shy of? Read it!

No...

Maybe Magistrate Ho can help.

I've dropped it, let me pick it up first.

I'll wait for you.

It'll take some time.

Oh, dropped it again, pick it up.

Sit down, from the way it seems,

I know that you can't read.

Since nobody wants to read,

Your Honor, you are stern and impartial.

May I invite you to help?

Dropped it again, pick it up.

Enough, time to go.

Pick it up again...

Colleagues, should I read or not?

Just wait for a while.

Right, wait for a while.

Might as well forget about reading it.

Good...

Phew!

Sung Sai Kit, what do you want?

Spitting and suing.

First suing you
as Magistrate of San Si for neglect.

A murder in your jurisdiction
and you do nothing about it.

Dereliction of duty.

Then suing you as Commissioner of San Si

to allow your sister to commit a murder,
deliberately flouting the law.

Thirdly, suing Ho Yue Da,
Magistrate of Guangchou,

for bribery, killing the good and faithful

and for farting.

I might as well sue you too.

Me?

Why not? You as Inspector-General

allow your subordinates to make a mess.

You think your credibility is still intact

but your people are oppressed.

If I sued you in the royal court,

you and your family would be exterminated.

Dismiss.

Feeling good, Madam Sung?

Not bad.

-This way.
-All right...

-Master Sung, feeling good?
-Yes.

Give me...

What else are you not satisfied with,
Mr. Sung?

Your sister is a murderer!

Chopped off her head, how cold-blooded.

What's the use of staying alive?

Yes...

Mr. Sung, what will happen to us?

Yes...

Mr. Sung, we...

Kill!

Magistrate Ho, you stand up so high,

how can I hear what you're saying?

Mr. Sung,
you've now regained your official rank.

Moreover, our crime doesn't deserve
a death penalty.

-Don't you think so?
-Yes...

Why are you asking me?
How am I supposed to know?

I'm nobody, go and ask the official.

Your Honor...

Then put aside the investigation,
what do you think?

Yes!

Whatever.

Thank you.

As for myself...

What do you want to say?
Please follow the rule.

Yes, there's a space here, come on.

Mr. Sung, what do you think I should do?

You've all followed the rules, good.

I won't sue you anymore.

Yes.

-Dear, let's go.
-All right.

Dear, who are these people?

Officers.

Officers!

How Great!

It's a good thing
that I've asked you to fight

the case for Yeung Sau Chun.

Now there's no worry
our son wouldn't have a dick.

Now they are too many.

Come, come over here.

Dad, Mom.

-Come over...
-Hurry...

Come over, stand straight.

Hurry...

Wait a minute.

What is it?

The fortune seems to have changed.

Where to?

Over there.

Then we...

Good...