Johnny Suede (1991) - full transcript

A struggling young musician and devoted fan of Ricky Nelson wants to be just like his idol and become a rock star.

♪ Some people call me

♪ A teenage idol

♪ Some people say
They envy me ♪

♪ I guess they got
No way of knowing ♪

♪ How lonesome

♪ I can be

These shoes.

♪ me
A teenage idol ♪

♪ Some people say
They envy me ♪

- Hey, man.
- What?

- Come here.
- Why?

Come get some of this stuff.

It's good.
I'm telling you.

What's wrong with her?

She's all right.
She's digging it, man.

Ain't you, baby?

See that, man? She wants it, man.

Come on over here!

Fourth precinct.

Yeah. There's something
funny going on

on the corner
of Lincoln and 46th.

Hold on.

♪ Some people call me
A teenage idol ♪

♪ Some people say
They envy me ♪

♪ I guess they got
No way of knowing ♪

♪ How lonesome I can be

♪ I need somebody
To be my baby ♪

♪ Someone to tell
My troubles to ♪

♪ I got no time
To ever find her ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm just
Passing through ♪

♪ I travel around

♪ From town to lonely town

♪ I guess I'll always be

♪ Just a rolling stone

♪ If I find fortune and fame

♪ And lots of people
Know my name ♪

♪ That won't mean a thing...

Suede is a funny thing.

It's rough, but soft.

It's strong, but quiet.

And it doesn't wrinkle...

and it doesn't crack.

And it doesn't stand out so much

in a crowd of leather and vinyl.

Johnny Suede.

You don't notice it at first,
but once you do,

you can't take your eyes
off of it,

and you wonder how in the hell

you ever overlooked it
in the first place.

Johnny Suede.

♪ Today I ate a carrot
For breakfast ♪

♪ Tomorrow I'll do the same

♪ It don't seem fair
That a guy like me

♪ Should live
Such a life of shame ♪

♪ Don't... Life of sh...

♪ Life... Life...

Who is it?

It's your father.

Hi, Mr. Clepp.

How you doing?

Hope I'm not bothering you.

I was just practicing my guitar and stuff.

That's good.

Now, I wrote a song once.

It's called
"The Rent Song."

Did you ever hear
"The Rent Song"?

"The Rent Song"? Um...

No, I don't think so.

It goes like this:

♪ Hey, hey
Today's the day ♪

♪ Those that pay today
Get to stay ♪

♪ Those that don't
I hate to say ♪

♪ They gotta pack their shit

♪ And move, move
Move away ♪

♪ Way

Practice that one, Caruso.

Hey, Johnny.

Hey, Deke.

You know, I'm sorry
I missed you last night.

I was on my way to the club,

when these three girls
pull up to me, right,

asking me directions to the Omega Tunnel,

So I say, you know, I'll show them, right.

The next thing I know,

they're going through the tunnel, man,

with me still in the car.

I ended up in a mobile home

they have parked in the
woods off the interstate.

Uh, so how about you,
you score last night, man?

What the fuck was I doing,
man, huh? Playing hockey?

Jesus, what's the matter with you, man?

What's the matter with me?

I just pawned my guitar,
that's what.

- Why?
- So I could have

something else to eat besides
goddamned carrots, you know?

I'll tell you, man,
if I had a gun right now...

I'd do something.

- Like what?
- Like...

Do you see that barber shop
over there, man?

I bet there's 300 dollars
sitting in the register.

We walk in, show him the gun,

they give us the cash, right?

Yeah, man. Hey, hey,
that's not a bad idea, Johnny.

I know. I could get
my guitar out of hock...

Hey, man, I could get me
a new keyboard.


We would start the band.

So when are we gonna
get the band started, man?

I just told you,
as soon as we get a gun.

Listen. You know,
I know this guy, man,

needs his apartment painted,
you know?

So, like, you help me,
I split it with you, 50-50.


No. These hands were not made
to hold a goddamned paintbrush.

All right, you know what's best.

That I do.

All right,
so I'll see you later on tonight, man,

- at the club.
- No, I'm not going.

That place is
starting to bug me.

No, man. Hey, hey, hey.

You just need luck
in rollin' the dice, man.

I mean, you bound to come up seven
sooner or later.

Johnny? Johnny Suede?

♪ Overactive

♪ Active

♪ Active

♪ Active

♪ Active



Yeah, we need to talk.
Really, we need to talk.

I'd like to talk to you too, Slick,
but I can't right now.

What do you mean,
you can't talk to me? When?

I don't know, man. I'm totally booked.

This record company of mine, man,

they are on my ass to get this album out.

Yeah, well,
I need my money, man.

I mean, I need my money.

Yeah, well, I sympathize, dude.


You know, with those shoes on,

you remind me of a prince in a fairytale.

Yeah? Well,
with that pink dress on,

you remind me of
a strawberry ice cream cone.

Looking for something?

Yeah, I just ordered a beer,
and now it's gone.

I'll buy you one.

May I have a beer, please?


Are you in a band?


I knew it. I saw you
at the Red Hammock last week.

No, we haven't played there yet.

You should.

I go all the time, my mom's
in the record business.


Yeah, but the real reason I go
is because I write poetry.

And it inspires me,
and anyway a lot of people say

that music and poetry
are a lot alike.

I've always thought so.

What's the name
of your band again?

I'm not supposed to go to that club.

Why not?

It really upsets my boyfriend.

Who's Flip?

He's my boyfriend.

Gloom and darkness
Are my constant shadows

Where'er I go
They're sure to follow

O prince of dreams
On horse of white

Please bring me your
Blinding beams of light

God, that's beautiful!

Um, listen, I'd better be going.


Well, I don't feel right
herewith your boyfriend and all.

Yeah, he's pretty jealous.

He'd go crazy
if he found you here.

Is he coming over?

Oh, I hope not.

I'm a little afraid of him.


Well, he hits me sometimes.

Do you think
maybe you could stay?

What about her boyfriend?

She's gonna dump him.

but she's gotta take it easy because...

Well, he's got kind of a temper.

- Uh-huh.
- You know?

He hits her and shit,

leaves black and blue marks on her.

- Jesus!
- Yeah.

What's this guy's problem?

I don't know, he's just crazy, I guess.

He's a famous photographer, Flip Doubt.

Flip Doubt?

That's what she said.

What a fucking idiot, man.

Yeah, and the fucking
idiot lives right across the street.

Too bad, Johnny. I mean,
now you've got to start

sneaking around and shit, man.

Whoa. Whoa, are you finished?

I don't sneak around,
man, you know that. Come on.

No, we worked outta schedule.

He'll see her Monday,
Wednesday and Friday,

and I'll see her
Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

- See?
- What about Sunday?

Well, she's leaving that for herself,
you know?

Hmm.Yeah. I was thinking,

if you float me that 40 bucks, I'll
get my guitar outta hock,

we're rehearsing on Sunday.

You're serious, Johnny?

Said I was gonna start a
band, that's what I'm gonna do.

Yep. You got any songs?

- No!
- No?

You better get on it. I mean,
I got a couple,

but we gotta... we gotta get it going.

I didn't tell you the best part.

You ready? Yeah?

Darlette's mom...

works for High Tone Records' producer.

Oh, now, that's smooth, Johnny.
That is smooth, man.

But I'm not gonna push it.

I mean, you know me, Mr. Easy-Going.

Yeah, just let it
come to you, Johnny.

I mean, you know,
let it come to you, man.

You're so right.

Like a little bird, Deke,

like a beautiful little bird.

Poor guy.

Doing fine before I came along.

Well, Flip, got to say it,
cut the cave man act, man.

Don't you know, you hold on
to something tight,

it's with an open hand?

Hi, babe!

Doesn't anybody ever sweep those stairs?

No, no, not since
I've ever been here.

These are for you.

Oh, wow.


These are really beautiful.

Well, I should go now.

Why? You just got here.

Well, I don't feel well.

Oh, are you sick?

No, I'm not sick.

Um, then what's the matter?

Flip slapped me again
last night.

What for?

No reason.

That's it. I'm gonna teach
that fucking scum bag

about slapping women around.

I'm gonna kick
the shit out of him!

He's got a gun.

♪ This is for the never-girl

♪ The girl I never knew

♪ The one who never
Pledged her love ♪

♪ Or promised to be true

♪ The one who never held me

♪ Or whispered in my ear

♪ The one whose lips I never kissed ♪

♪ Or felt her heart so near

♪ But if I ever find her

♪ I know just what I'll say

♪ Here I am
Your never boy ♪

♪ To take you far away

♪ Never girl

Yeah, not bad.
Not bad. Uh-huh.

Yeah, but why don't
we just like, you know,

gas the tempo up a little bit,
Johnny, like...

See, that's cool, right?

Let's just try it now,
okay, like, hey, hey...

♪ This is for the never-girl
The girl I never knew ♪

♪ The one who never
Pledged her love ♪

♪ Or promised to be true
Never, never, never ♪

No! Hey!
♪ Never girl

Okay, right.

It's a love song, man.

Yeah, I know it's a love song,
but it's, you know,

it's soundin' sort of
old fashioned, man.

We want somethin' now, right?
I mean, you know...

No, wrong. You know?

I mean, I'm not into now.

Now is a fly's fart in the wind.

I mean, my music just comes out of me,

anytime, anywhere.

It's got no date on it.

It's your song, man, yeah.


So you're in love, huh?

Who said that?

You just said
it was a love song.

That song's not about me, man.

I just made it up.

Yeah. Let's take a break.


So where did you get that plant?



redoing my apartment, man, for free.

The whole thing.

Oh! Well, that's nice.

Yeah. And I guess she
told her old lady about me,

because now she wants to meet me.

Yeah, yeah, that's cool,
that's cool, you know.

But be careful, man, you know,

'cause there's one thing

that I learned
from experience, all right?

Now, if your girlfriend
mother likes you,

chances are your girlfriend
won't, okay?

Thanks, man. I gotta remember that.

♪ I need somebody
To be my baby ♪

♪ Someone to tell
My troubles to ♪

♪ I've got no time
To ever find her ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm just
Passing through ♪

♪ I travel around ♪

Who is this?

Are you kidding?

It's Ricky Nelson.
Great voice, huh?


Some people say
I sound like him.

Is there something else you can play?

Aw, there sure is.

Don't you have anything else?

You don't like it?

Well, it's kinda boring.

Well, hey, I'll just take it off then.

Do you have any Freak Storm?


Freak Storm.

He's great.

Flip has all his records.

Never heard of him.

I thought you said this
plant didn't need much attention.

Well, have you been watering it?

Of course I've been watering it.

I think it was dead
when you gave it to me.

I wouldn't give you
a dead plant.

Hey, does this plant
look dead or not?

Where are you going?

Deke called.

Gonna go grab a beer.

Can I wait upstairs
until you come back?

If you want.

Where are you from, Johnny?

Oh, nowhere in particular, Mrs. Fontaine.

I assume you were
born somewhere?

North Dakota. But I only
lived there a month.

Like a Rolling Stone.

You know,
with the Dakotas being primarily settled

by Swedish emigrants, I'm wondering if

the original pronunciation of
your name isn't "Swede."

Jan Swede.

No, it's Suede,
Mr. Fontaine.

Always has been,
and it always will be.

Uh, Dalton is not
Mr. Fontaine, Johnny.

- He's not?
- I'm... I'm a friend, John.

A mere friend.

Where's your dad?

- Gone.
- Gone?

Mr. Fontaine disappeared

shortly before
Darlette's fifth birthday.

About a month later,
the divorce papers arrived

postmarked Buenos Aires,

and I haven't seen
or heard from him since.

Well, he's probably living in
a tree house somewhere

surrounded by a bevy of
bare breasted young...

See, I was kind of a lone wolf in my day.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

I rambled wild, drank hard, loved hard.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Oh, I do.

I know you do, you rascal.

To the lone wolf.

What are you toasting, Dalton?

Animal behavior, my dear.

Have some coffee.

All righty.

Mrs. Fontaine,
is that Nancy Sinatra

in that picture there?

No, that's me.

That's amazing,
because I thought...

Why, you look just like
Nancy Sinatra.

What are you doing
with Frankie Lindou?

Frankie gave High
Tone its first gold record.

"Let's Live on Love," right?

I'd have thought he was before your time.

Well, Mrs. Fontaine,
good music has no time.

That's my philosophy.

Darlette tells me that
you're a musician yourself.

What kind of music do you play?

Well, I actually don't
have a name for it.

I just pick up my guitar
and play.

Whatever comes out
is what it is.

Kind of free-form, experimental.

Is that what you're saying, John?

Not exactly, Dalt.

Johnny has a beautiful voice,

and he writes all his own songs.

How sweet.
You've already got a fan.

I assume you have a tape?

Not on me.

Well, send it to me next week,

and maybe I can persuade
Jazz Collins,

our new talent director,
to give it a listen.

Thank you very much.

There's only one thing
I ask in return.

It's that you let me try on

one of those beautiful shoes.

Babe, what's the matter?


I told you she hates me.

She always has.

She's trying to
take you away from me.

No way, babe.
Never happen.

My father didn't disappear.

She drove him away.

Because she knew
how much I loved him.

When I was little,

I used to lie here
staring at the door,

praying that it would open...

and he'd be thereto take me away forever.

Oh babe, I'm never gonna
leave you. I thought...

Will you take me home?



you look so beautiful right now


Any more crackers?

Um, do you have any more tea?


Did I ever show you
this picture?


Wow, that's a great picture.

Who took it?


We used to have so much fun,

dressing up and taking
pictures of each other.


Babe, it's a little hard
for me to understand

how you could be having
so much fun with a guy

who's supposed to be
beating the shit out of you.

Well, I'm sorry, Johnny.

But we had fun.

What do you want me to say?

Well, maybe I should
slap you a couple times,

and we'll have some fun too.

I can't believe
that you said that.

I was just joking. I would

It's over, Johnny.


I can't pretend anymore.

I don't love you.

I'm sorry, Johnny,

but I'm not gonna be
able to see you again.

- No!
- Goodbye, Johnny.

Johnny. Johnny!

So you Ina relationship yet?

No, not yet,
but I'm working on it.

good for you. It's just a matter of time.

Oh, yeah, she's out there...


You know what? You're
right, she is out there.

In fact, I just saw her in the next train.

She's all dressed up like Cinderella,

asking everybody if they've seen

a stupid fucking idiot who looks like you.

Hey! What the hell are you doing? Huh?

- Man, I'm gonna get you for this.
- Shut up!

You wait, sucker! You're gonna die!

Next time, you keep your nose
out of other people's business.


Hey, are you all right?
You okay?

- I oughta kick your fucking ass!
- What?

You're a real big fucking man, you know,

picking on a little goddamned kid!

That wasn't a kid,
that was a guy,

and he was trying
to look up your dress.

- Get the fuck out of here!
- He had a little antenna,

and he was trying
to lift up your dress.

I didn't see any fucking antenna. Where?

You didn't see any antenna
and nothing happened here,

and your underwear,
excuse me for saying so,

was not white with
little blue rabbits on it.


Hey, what?

I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry.

I thought you pushed him down the stairs.

- I'm sorry.
- No, I didn't push him.

He tripped over my foot.

It's a good thing he didn't have a knife,
you know?

Oh, I'm not worried
about knives.

With these shoes on,
I'm pretty light on my feet.

What are these,
bedroom slippers?

No, they're not bedroom slippers.

Look! They're one of a
kind, black suede shoes.

My name's Suede, by the way. Johnny Suede.

You're kidding me, right?

No, I'm not kidding.
Why would I be kidding?



That's your name, huh, Yvonne?


Why, what about it?


I knew a girl named Yvonne.

Yeah, she was a dancer
at the Blue Kitten Lounge.


I gotta go.

Who is that guy?

It's, uh... a friend.

See, I was just gonna say

he looks kinda like a friend.

I gotta go. My band's
practicing across the street.


Maybe you'd like to come by?

I, um... I can't.I gotta go.

All right.
But do me a favor.

Try to be a little more careful,

because I hate to say it,
but there are guys around here

who would like to do a lot more
than look up your dress.


So where'd you get that suit?
Man, that's nice.

I was gonna check out Flip last night.

- Where's she at?
- She went back to London.

Guys, guys, I'm sorry I'm late.

You're not gonna believe
what happened.

I'm coming off the subway, this crazy guy,

he pulls a knife on me, this long.

What'd you do, man?

Kicked that fucker down the stairs,
that's what I did.

Did you hear about that guy got
pushed in front of that train?

- Killed?
- Cut his arm off.

I've seen a cat cut half in two once.

You saw it happen?

No, but I've seen 'em
put him in two bags, though.

All right, boys,
let's make some music, huh?

Let's start with "Midtown."

One and a-two, you...

Hold it. Hold it, guys.

Hi. You showed up.

Hey, have a seat.

Guys, this is Yvonne.

Yvonne, this is B-Bop, our bass man.

Over here we got Conan, king of accordion,

and over here is Deke, my right hand man.


All right, Deke, give me
some of that rockin' beat.

♪ I wanna work in midtown

♪ And wear a three-piece suit

♪ I wanna hire a limo

♪ Just to hear
My driver toot ♪

♪ I want a fancy penthouse

♪ So high it's hid from you

♪ 'Cause when I have
These things I want ♪

♪ Then I won't want you

♪ You're just a girl
With a look on your face ♪

♪ Nothing much more than that

♪ I'll find another girl
To take your place ♪

♪ And I'll do it
In seconds flat ♪

♪ I wanna meet a model

♪ Who's only got one name

♪ She'll take me
Out to parties ♪

♪ And treat me to cocaine

♪ I wanna make her love me

♪ Just like you used to do

♪ 'Cause when I have
These things I want ♪

♪ Then I won't want you

You coming, Johnny?

No, man, I'm gonna stick around.

I'll call you later.

So, what'd you think?

Is there a phone around here?

I really should call my friend.

Come on, I can take criticism.

Well, I don't...
really know that much.

Forget it.

I know what you're trying to say,
and I agree with you.

These guys are terrible.

I mean, Deke, he's no help.

He thinks being in a
band is all fun and games.

I write all the songs, I
set up all the rehearsals.


I mean, the way I feel like right now,

I'm ready to give the whole thing up.

Oh, don't do that.

Why not?

I liked the song.

I'm not really sure
what it's about,

but I liked it.

I just think that you guys
need a little more practice,

that's all.

You've got a pretty good voice.


I think so.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

I am being too hard on these guys.


I just can't help it, you know?

I mean, this is my life.

You know what I can tell about you?

You got a really good head
on your shoulders.

- Do I?
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I like that.

Sit down, pal,
I've got us some good news.

Oh, yeah, so do I.

Conan's brother's
getting married,

and he wants us to play
at his wedding.

Fifty bucks a piece, man.

That's great, man. That's great.

Uh... Did B-Bop call you?

- No, why?
- Uh...

'Cause he's got this
gig on this cruise ship,

and he's like leaving tomorrow, you know?

For how long?

Three months, man.


Just when things are
starting to click, you know?

Yeah, but can't we do the gig without him?

No, man. I'm not playing without
a goddamned bass player.

Yeah. I guess,
you know, I'll tell that photographer

that we'll paint his studio.

Oh, man, I'm sick of that shit.

Well, I guess it's time we
took a trip to the barber shop.

What are you talking about, man?

Barber shops?

Thought you said
you had some good news.

That's what I'm trying to tell you,

Heh, heh.
Is it loaded?

No, he didn't have any bullets.

Okay. We gotta
find us some bullets...

for a .38.
That's the plan, okay?


Um, the brother said
I should hold on to it.

Oh, okay.

So let's go to the club tonight,

now that you're a free man again.

I got plans tonight.

- You're seeing Darlette?
- Yvonne.

Yeah, I was thinking I
might go up to her place tonight

for some dinner.

You know, I went out with
this schoolteacher once, man.

She's not a schoolteacher though.

She works with retarded kids and shit.

I mean, that's a big difference.


He said that he was
gonna divorce his wife,

but he had to wait
for the right time, you know?

So, two years later,
he was still waiting,

so I just left.

I didn't even say goodbye
or leave a note or anything.

Did you ever live with anybody?

Yeah, sure.

Say, this is some good meatloaf.

It's not even done.

No, parts of it are.Yeah.

Why don't I...
I'll just put it back...

I'll put it back
in the oven, you know?


You know what? That's okay.

Because, uh...

it's getting late, and I
should be moving along.

It's 9:30.

Hard to believe, isn't it?

Um, did I say something wrong?

No... No, no.

I have a lot on my mind,
that's all.

This thing with B-Bop,
it's really upsetting and...

Oh, well, okay.

Well, thanks for coming up.

Hey, thank you.
And I'll call you and...

we'll do it again some...

How come you always have
black and blue marks on you?

Um, kids.

They just get carried away sometimes.

A kid did that to you?

I hope you smacked him back.

Actually, I just,
you know, poked his eye out.

No, you didn't.

God! That's really
funny, Yvonne.

I guess I'm in a funny mood.

Okay. So long.

So long.

What the hell, I might as well
make it a real kiss, huh?

Might as well.

So I'll see you.


I'm gonna help myself
to some more meatloaf,

- if you don't mind.
- Could you...

hold on a second?

Mm-hmm, why?

My turn.


Uh, hold it.


Um, what are you doing?

What does it feel like I'm doing?

It feels like you're trying
to pick up a watermelon seed.

Well, do it your damn self then.

Don't be an idiot.
Come here.


Come here, give me your hand.
Come here.

Come here.

Come on.

Okay, you feel that?


That is not it...


You feel that?


That's it.

This is it?

But this is not it.

- Right.
- This is it?

But this is not it.


See, where I made my mistake
with Darlette, man,

is I let her
see my hand, you know?

I mean, as soon as
she found out that I liked her,

she flew off like a damn bird.

Oh, man, she'll hit the ground one day,
you know?

Oh, I know she will,
but my point is

is that I learned an extremely
valuable lesson here, see?

I mean, now, with Yvonne,
I'm making sure

she knows I can
take it or leave it.

That's right,
man. That's the way it is, Johnny.

Just let 'em come to you, man, you know?

I went to her class
the other day, you know,

just to get a glimpse
of her lifestyle,

and the moment I walk in,

the kids start crawling
all over me, you know?

Messing up my clothes,
messing up my hair,

and then this girl comes up,
for no reason,

rips the pocket off
my favorite shirt, you know?

I was so pissed,

I just cut out of there,
man, you know?

I didn't even say,
"Goodbye," you know?

- Take it or leave it, right?
- Exactly.

And that's the way
I'm handling this one, man.

Strictly plutonic.

You're not making love, man?

Well, of course
we're making love. God.

You should have seen me
the other night, man.

I was like a wild man
or something.

I was doing
all kinds of things, man.

Oh, yeah? Like what?

Like, well, for starters,
she showed me

where that little button is
inside there, you know?

You didn't know where that was, man?

Yeah, but, yeah, I knew
where it was, but now, man,

I can find it in the dark
if I have to,

and that is a good thing
for a guy to know.


You know, Johnny,
I'm glad we had this conversation.


Sorry, man, I didn't mean to laugh,

but I really am glad we
had this conversation.

Me too.


Deke, turn on
your TV quick, man.

There's this old cowboy movie on

with nobody in it but midgets.

You're kidding me.

Yeah, man.
Even the horses are midgets.

Let me look.

Oh, damn. You just missed it.
It's over.




Yeah, I'm almost ready.

Hey, is the blonde over there?

Yeah, she's here, man. Yeah?

You didn't tell her I wanted
to meet her, did...? Good.

All right.

Yeah, just yell up to the
window when you get here.

Who is it?

It's Yvonne.

Oh, God.

I'm coming.

Hi, what a great surprise.

Am I disturbing you?

No, go in.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I was just getting ready
to go out with some friends.

What, you just happened
to be in the neighborhood?

No, I planned this, actually.


It's a hairdryer.


Doesn't work though.

That's too bad.

Listen, are you avoiding me?

Why would I be avoiding you?

No. God.

'Cause I haven't heard
from you in a week.

Well, I've been really busy,
you know, babe?

Practicing and...

What, are you still pissed about
Ginger ripping your shirt?

No. No.

I mean, I was pissed,
you know, for a second.

It's my favorite shirt.

Well, she made this for you.

Oh, that's really Ni...

Oh, that's real funny, you know?

Kid rips my shirt,
and she calls me a shit.

- That's hysterical.
- It's supposed to be "shirt."

See. "Sorry I ripped
your shirt."

Oh, that's very, very nice.


Oh, and this is from
me and the rest of the class.


Just a sec.


Hey, Deke, I'll be down in a second.

Come on, man, hurry up,

the girls' legs
are getting cold.


What happened to your friends?

I remembered I didn't
like them very much.

And I thought, hell,

I haven't seen Yvonne
in a while.

Maybe I could go up there
and take her out, my treat.

Oh, thanks,
but I've already eaten.

Eating? No. I mean dancing.

No, no.

I got to get up
in the morning, you know?

We don't have to stay out late.
You say the word,

I'll have you home in a flash.

I'll wait out here
while you get dressed.

What are you,
a fucking choir boy?


- Is that all?
- What?

I thought you were gonna put

some of that black stuff around your eyes.


All the girls are wearing it at the club.

Pretty sexy.

Oh. Well,
I don't wear eyeliner.

- Really? Why not?
- I don't like it.

That's a pretty good reason.

What shoes should I wear?

Either one.

Well, do you like these?

Yeah, they're all right.

Do you like these better?

What, babe, you were dressing yourself

long before I came along, so why stop now?

Just asking you
which shoes you like.

And I'm just saying

wear the ones you like best, okay?

Great. Why don't you tell me
what shoes you like better?

'Cause I guess I don't like either ones.

Look... Hey!

They're the only fucking shoes
that I have, okay?

This is the way I dress. And,
you know, goddamn it,

I don't want any shit around my eyes.


What's the big deal?

No big deal.

Let's just stop seeing each other,
all right?


Because it's very obvious to me

that there's nothing
about me that you like.

Well, if it's so obvious,
then what...

what the hell am I doing
standing here then, huh?

I don't have any idea.

Well, then I guess I have
to spell it out for you.

I'm standing here...

'cause I like you.

But you sure have
a funny way of showing it.

Hey, hey.

Shh, shh.

You know, you're right.

You have the kind of eyes

that don't need
any makeup at all.

- Shut up.
- No, I'm serious.

Look, hey, I'm serious.

You're really beautiful.

I'm sorry I threw the shoe at you.

It's okay.

It's all right.

Just please don't do it again,

because I really hate it
when people throw shoes at me.

I won't.

I just wanted to tell you.
I'm sorry, you know?

I know I was really wrong and everything,

but I'm just really...

Hey! You got a smoke?

No, I'm out.

You're Freak Storm, huh?

That's right.

I seen you somewhere
before. What's your name?

Johnny Suede.

What are you doing
back here, Freak?

I saw someone I didn't want to see.


Nice little shoes you got there, Johnny.

Yeah. Thanks.

I like your boots.
Where'd you get 'em?

I found 'em when I was
living out in Wyoming.

What were you doing in Wyoming?

I've been all over, man.

- Me too.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

I was born in a goddamn
motel room.


Oh, your dad was
a traveling salesman, huh?


I don't know too much
about my daddy

except he shot a man
five minutes after I was born.

What? You kidding?

No, I'm not fucking kidding.

Even tried to write
a song about it once.

I just couldn't finish it.

It went sort of like this.

♪ I was born
In a motel room ♪

♪ The night
Daddy lost his job ♪

♪ Just after one

♪ He pulled a gun

♪ And blew the brains
Out of some poor slob ♪

♪ They call me mamma

♪ They call me mamma

♪ They call me
Mamma's boy ♪

♪ But I don't care

♪ I'll be a mamma

♪ I'll be a mamma

♪ I've been a mamma's boy

♪ Since daddy got the

♪ Electric chair

That's a beautiful song, Freak.

No, it ain't.

It's an old piece of bone.

No, man, you should finish it.

I can't.

It's just too damn personal.

Did your daddy
really get the chair?

Well, Johnny,
I don't really like talking about that.

I can understand that.

You really like that song, Johnny?

I do a lot.

You can have it.


Thanks, Freak.

You know, I'm trying
to start a band myself.

Oh, good for you.Yeah.

High Tone was interested
for a while,

but that kind of fell through.

Mm-hmm, yeah, I sympathize with that.

It's hard, you know?

I sympathize, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Sometimes I just...
I feel like giving up.

- Do you, Johnny?
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I do, Freak.

Well, I like you.

I want to turn you onto
something. Check this out.

What is it?

This cat, Rudy, is a friend of mine.
He did my first album.

- You got a tape?
- Uh-huh.

Well, send it to him right
away and make sure you send cash.

Is that safe?

Sure, man, you just wrap it up in tinfoil.

Hey, wait a minute.

I'm gonna go and see this guy,
Rudy, tomorrow.

If you give me the
money, then I can give it to him.

Hey, that's great. That's fine
by me.

I got it.

- You give it to him, man.
- Why?

I don't have to bother with that.

Oh, hell, I'll give it to him.

I'll tell him you're a friend of mine.

He'll give you special treatment.


- Thanks, Freak.
- Don't mention it.

This is great.

Don't mention it.

Maybe one day you can do me a favor.


have some chicken.

I can't, Freak, I gotta split.

- You gotta split?
- Uh-huh.

I start your fucking career for
you and you've got to split?

That's why your life's
going fucking nowhere, Johnny,

'cause you don't know how
to show a bit of goddamn gratitude.

No, I'm grateful, Freak, really.

I am. I'm...

Mmm, this is good chicken.

Well, it should be,
man, I only found it this morning.

Just kidding.

♪ Well, I was born
In a motel room ♪

♪ The night
Daddy lost his job ♪

♪ Just after one

♪ He pulled a gun

♪ And blew the brains
Out of some poor slob ♪

♪ Cops pulled him in

♪ Down in San Antone

♪ Threw him in
The County Jail ♪

♪ And there he sat

♪ On a murder rap

♪ At the time
I was starting to wail ♪

♪ And that was the tale
My mamma told ♪

♪ As soon as
I could understand ♪

♪ Hard as I tried
I couldn't take no pride ♪

♪ In a daddy
Killed a man ♪

♪ They called me mamma
Mamma, mamma's boy ♪

♪ But hey
I just don't care ♪

♪ I've been a mamma
Mamma, mamma's boy ♪

♪ Since daddy got
The electric chair ♪

I'll make some tea.

She still loves you.

Does she?

She talks about you
all the time.

I told you I'd get you.

Didn't I?


How do you feel?


Wow, what's that smell?

I made some soup. Do you want some?

What kind?


What kind of vegetables?

Do you want some soup or not?

Hm, okay, I'll have some soup.

Aren't you supposed
to be at school?

Yeah, I...

I took the day off.

I hope you know
shaving your face

isn't like shaving your legs.

Relax, would you?

Have you done this before?

Once or twice.

- Mm-hmm?
- Mm-hmm.

With that married guy?

You're awful curious.

Were you guys in the tub?

No. We were
in a Jacuzzi.

Mm-hmm. Anything else you want to tell me?

Just this. You keep
asking me stupid questions

and I'm gonna smack you.

Ooh, big talk for a girl.

Not if she's got
a razor in one hand

and your balls in the other.

Not if I got a bar of soap ready
to bounce off your head.



Now, that's funny.

I hope you know shaving a leg
is not like shaving a face.

will you, I've done this a million times.

You're going the wrong way.

Look, lady, you go your way,

I'll go my way.

I love you, Johnny.


All right.

For moving in.

Against moving in.

Now, I would suggest
that you start

with the reasons
for moving in, man,

'cause those are the hardest.

Okay, let me have a couple.


She's got a color TV.

There you go.
Color TV.

All right, next?


Oh, she's got an extra room

she says I can play my guitar in,

kind of like my own private room.

Hmm, now, that's nice.
That's nice.

Private room.
Oh, yeah.


She's always got things
lying around to eat, you know?

Like, nuts and crackers
and shit.

Hey, man, you could eat 'em
while you watch TV.

- You know what I'm saying?
- Oh, yeah.

So we'll call that snacks, okay?

Anything else?

No, no.

Let's proceed
to the reasons against.

If I moved in with her,

I'd be locked up with her
24 hours a day, you know?

Go to bed, there she is.

Wake up, there she is again.

So, what, you're saying
you feel like...?

I'd feel like I was in prison.

Okay, prison similarities.


- Um...
- Next?

Well, I couldn't do
any of the things

a guy does, you know?

I mean, say I wanted to
walk around in my underwear.

No, say I had to make a fart.

I'd probably have to go
into my private room

just to make a fart.

Yeah, you probably would,
man, you know?

Okay, things...
things a guy does.

Okay, next?

She threw a shoe at me once.

Oh, that's bad.
That's very bad.

Uh, shoe-throwing tendencies.

Okay, how many is that?

Well, it's tied up,
three to three.


Let's face it, she is probably the
exact opposite type of girl

I would normally date, you know?

She's got a weird job, she dresses funny.

She can't even put on makeup, man.

Opposite types.

That's us.

Well, there it is, pal.

Three reasons for.

Four reasons against.

- I guess that's it.
- Hey, numbers don't lie.

And hey,
just because I don't move in with her,

doesn't mean I can't still see her, right?

Hey, hell, no, man.

I mean, 'cause I do like the girl.

Yeah, sometimes,
you know, when I'm just sitting around,

she'll start rubbing my ear real soft.

I like that.

Whoa, that's not
a reason for, man.

I don't know, man.

I mean, the way you described it

makes me want to meet
a girl like that.

It's tied up again, Johnny.

I know, I know. Just,
shh, I got to think. Uh...

Okay, see that, color TV?

Never watch it.Mm-mmm.

- Are you sure?
- Positive.

Now I just got to find a way
to break it to her.

What are you thinking about?

Well, I guess I've been
thinking about a few things.

What I want to say...


Excuse me.

Excuse me, painter.Painter.

Be so kind as to turn that down.

Where's he get off calling me
"painter," man, hm?

I don't know. Maybe he
thought you were painting the place.

Yeah, well,
I'll tell you something.

This is the last time I'll
let you talk me into this shit.

You don't like the man, why
don't you just go home?

Home. Right.

Oh, uh...

Can I help you with something?

Yes sir, you can get out of the way,

so I may open the door.

Oh, look, I prefer that
you don't use this bathroom.

Okay. Which one should I use?

Well, if I'm not mistaken,

there's a cozy little
gas station around the corner.

Fine. Thanks.

You know, you'll find
the rear door more convenient.

Scumbag won't even
let me use his bathroom.

Piss in a bucket, man.

Right. Where?

In the closet.


Where's your gun?

In my coat. Why?

Where'd you get that?

Come on.

What are you doing?

Oh, shut the fuck up.


Just talking.

Well, that's nice.

I don't believe this.


This wall is covered with nibs.

What are nibs?

This fuzzy little item is a nib.

It's a hair from
your cheaper than cheap

bargain basement rollers

which literally are
falling apart on my walls.

Here's one. And
there's another.

Hey, we just painted that, man.

You're going to have
to sand this down

and repaint the entire surface.

It's one thing I detest,

it's fuzzy little nibs
all over my wall.

Suck on this.

What did you say?

He said,
"Mark those nibs."

He did not. He said,
"Suck my dick."

No, no, no.
He said, "Mark those nibs."

That way we can start sanding
right away, sir.

You bet your sweet ass
I'm gonna mark these nibs.

Ah, come on, man.
It was just a joke.

No, hey, hey, tomorrow,
man, just, just, just, just don't...

Don't even look at the guy,
man. Just paint the walls

so we can get the hell out of there.

All right.


Today's my birthday, man.

Yeah, happy birthday.

Oh, come on.

Look, I might as well tell you now.

I joined a band.


Last week. I got tired of waiting around,

You, uh...

You pissed off?


No, man.

Why should I be pissed off?

Well, we were gonna start one together,
you know?

Forget it.

Hey, man, you got five bucks
I can borrow?

I got to pick some things up
on the way home.

So she's got you doing
the shopping now, huh?

That's really funny, man.


You know what.
I'll tell you something.

I'm getting a little sick
of your insinuations.

Look, man, I'm just trying to
make conversation, all right?

You don't like it,
go talk to someone else.

You had the beer,
that's two dollars, pal.

I can't believe it, man.

It's my fucking birthday and some guy

who's supposed to be my best friend

can't even buy me a fucking beer.

Uh, I know this is
really gonna sound silly

and I hope you don't
take this the wrong way,

but I saw you on the train

and I just wanted to tell you

you had the most beautiful
legs I'd ever seen.

Thanks for everything. I had a
lovely time.

Wait a second.


You idiot motherfucker son-of-a-bitch!

- Yvonne?
- Honey.

- Am I glad to see you.
- Where have you been?

- Oh, you're not gonna believe it.
- What, are you all right?

I'm okay, but this poor guy on the train,

this fat guy, got shot.
Right in the head.

Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Was he killed?

No, but he was hurt pretty bad.

- Oh, well, wha...
- And then, of course,

the cops had to keep everybody down there,

asking the same questions
over and over and over.

Well, why didn't you call me?

I tried. I tried.

I said, "Cops, I got to use a phone."

They wouldn't even let me make a call,
can you believe it?

- Those fucking assholes.
- I know, I know.

So I ran all the way home 'cause
I knew you'd be worried.

Oh, you must be
starved, are you?

I'm glad you're okay. I
have dinner in the fridge.

Yeah, actually, I need to take a shower.

All right. Well, you do
smell kind of ripe.

You bought me a cake.

Hell, baby, I made it.

You made me a cake?

Are you sure you're okay?

Yeah, I'm okay,

seeing I just saw a
guy get his head blown off.

Look at all the presents.

What is this? Christmas?

Open it.


No, I'm gonna wait till we have our cake.

I can't believe you did all this, babe.

This is perfect.

What have you done?

Me? Nothing, nothing.

Deke must have put those
there as some kind of birthday joke.

I'll tell you,
that guy's got a sick sense of humor.

Stop it, Johnny,
I could smell it all over you

as soon as you
walked in the door.

Hey, I don't know what you smell,

but I smell a guy who's been
working his ass off all day.

You fucked somebody, okay?

Now cut your shit.


Why? You just tell me
why you did it.

The one thing I can say
is that I know

you're gonna think
this is stupid.


It felt like...

something was behind me
all day, you know?

Pushing and shoving me.

Do you know what I mean?


Like a giant hand.

Pushing me from behind
and I couldn't stop.

And I started
following this girl.

Nothing special
about her, really,

but every time I tried to stop,

that giant hand gave me
another shove, you know?

And somehow I ended up
in her kitchen eating dinner.

She cooked you dinner?

See what I mean?

The whole thing, it...

It was like a dream and... and...

And then we were in bed,

but it's not like
I enjoyed it or anything.

But for the first time
in my life,

I felt like I was home.

Well, Johnny,
that's about the biggest pile of shit

I've ever heard in my life.

Thanks, Yvonne.

I try to explain how I feel,

and you don't even
try to understand.

Oh, no, no, no.
I understand.

You saw a girl.
You fucked her.

She made you feel at home,
and then you lied to me

about the whole fucking thing.

I never said
she made me feel at home.

I said it felt like I was home.

- Get out.
- What?

I can't even look
at your fucking face.

- Get out!
- Fine. I am out of here, man.

You think I need this shit?

No. I am my own man.

You are a lying piece of shit.

No. You know what I am?

I'm stupid for ever
letting you talk me into

moving into this dump
in the first place.

I got places I want to go.

I got things I want to do.

Do you think
I want to be stuck here

with a chick who can't even
put on fucking makeup?


Hey! Hey!

Fuck you.

Didn't I tell you
about throwing shoes?

Didn't I?

Hey, has Deke been in? I want to see him.

What are you gonna have?

What's on the house?


Freak! Freak, how you doing, man?

- Who might you be then?
- It's Johnny. It's Johnny Suede.

We talked. You look good.

Your hair's different.

No, man, no. It's the same.

Well, something's changed.

Maybe it's 'cause
you look so strung out.

Yeah, I guess I am a little.

I just had this fight
with my girlfriend, man.

What, she stabbed you?

No, no. It's just
a scratch, you know?

She threw a shoe at me though,
man, for no reason.

Hey, man,
I'd rather have a girl fucking stab me

than throw a shoe at me.

Yeah, I know.
It pissed me off so much,

I, uh, you know...

I did something kind of crazy, man.

You hit her?

Yeah. I... just once.

And not that hard or anything.

You know, it's crazy.

I never hit a girl before, man.

Oh, a guy, a girl, what's
the fucking difference, man?

The point is
you did the right thing.

You think so?

She tried to fucking stab you.


Hey, did you give Rudy
that $20 of mine?


Yeah, Rudy, the guy
who did the record,

who cut your first record.

I said I'd give him the $20.I
gave him the fucking $20.

That's cool.

It's just, uh, well,
I never sent the tape.

I sympathize with you,
dude, but that ain't my problem.


Yeah, that's okay, you know.

It's just going to make it kind of hard

to get a hotel room tonight,
so, you know...


You can crash at my place.

Of course, me and my babe
get the bedroom,

but you can have
the living room.

Great. That'd really be great.

Look at her, man.

Waiting for me like
a little trained poodle.

Hey, babe.

I'd like you to meet
an old friend of mine.


Oh, you two know each other.
Oh, good.

'Cause Johnny's gonna be
staying with us for a couple of days.

Hey, where are you going?




I've been looking
all over for you.

Deke saw you from across the street.

We've been asking
everybody if they saw a guy

with one suede shoe
on that looks like this.

Where did you find it?

On the roof of a car.

I looked for over 20 minutes
for this thing.

I can't believe you found it.

What happened to you?

I don't know.

I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.

No.Yes, yes.

I'm, uh, sorry.